Ep. 1: Anita "The Manifester" Frierson | Gratitude, People Pleasing & Choosing Yourself

In this episode of BrighterDaze with Sara, I sit down with my wife, Anita Frierson, for a real and meaningful conversation about gratitude, growth, and choosing yourself.

We talk about what it looks like to unlearn people-pleasing, the quiet strength it takes to stand in your truth, and how gratitude can shift the way you experience everyday life. We also dive into the finer things that truly matter—like community, connection, and having people around you who see you fully.

This conversation is honest, grounding, and a reminder that the life you want often starts with the boundaries you’re willing to set.

Anita's IG: @purity.black

Transcript

Sara 0:12

Welcome to Brighter Daze. This is a place where we get lost in gratitude instead of drowning in despair. I'm Sara, and here we talk to people, we celebrate victories, and we talk about resilience, gratitude, and daily life motivators. Today I've got a very special guest for the first episode, and I am very excited to talk to this individual. It is my wife, Anita.

Anita 0:36

It's like cue the music.

Sara 0:41

Fo r sure, for sure. Alright, so as you all know, this is the first episode, so we're gonna get right into it. Anita, what's your energy like right now?

Anita 0:53

I feel like I'm at peace right now. I feel good. I feel I feel peace. I feel like there's not like a high or a low. I'm just feeling real zen, which is good. I feel like a Sunday morning should be a Zen moment. You feel me?

Sara 1:08

I agree. I agree. I definitely have that like that chill vibe, that moment where I just feel as if everything is well and everything will have to be well because that's how life goes. You know, you just gotta push through until it gets there for sure. What would you say is one word that describes this season of your life?

Anita 1:31

I think I'm gonna go with introspection. I feel like I have had to do so much looking at myself in this period. And I think I've done this a lot through life, especially since you've known me. But I think that this period is almost like I'm holding a mirror to myself and the way that I'm moving, the things that I'm saying, the way that I'm reacting in ways that I never have before. And it is jarring at times, and other times it's a moment of proud. Like I'm I'm I'm good with how I handled that or how I walked away from it, or how I dug into it, you know. So I think that this period is is definitely about introspection.

Sara 2:13

It sounds like you're in your grown woman era. Girl, as grown as I can be. As grown as you could be. Because when when as life passes, the older we get, it is necessary to have those moments of introspection. Because so often when you're younger, you're sitting there and you're going through things and things are happening. And maybe that's not the way it is for you, but I know for me, I was just kind of going along with life. So I don't think I really took those moments to really be introspective. I don't think I had those tools.

Anita 2:42

Yeah, I can see that. I feel the same though. I feel like when I grew up, it was very much, you know, we grew up PKs, they're both PKs. So we had schedules, we had our lives were accounted for, and we were just, you know, cooperative or uncooperative, it didn't matter. You were gonna go and do what was supposed to be done. Um, so I feel like the the biggest part about the introspection is I'm now creating this life and it's on me. I think that's something that's like a huge moment for me to kind of to remind myself of the things that I'm saying, it is the bed that I made that I'm now laying in. So either get up, make the bed better, or that's it. Get up and make the bed better.

Sara 3:25

I hear you say that, and I think, okay, fruits of labor, like a harvest. So either you're gonna have fresh, beautiful vegetables and fruit, or you're gonna have mud and insects and or dead plants because you're not adding water, you're not treating the ground, and it's it's also visual, or for me, at least.

Anita 3:45

Because you know I'm a farmer, that's what they don't know. So it's very much on brand for me, but yeah, and it's not it's not an option to have just mud that is not at some point that does not contain seed. It's it's not an option, it's an option to the only option is to have fruit-bearing harvests.

Sara 4:08

Fruit-bearing harvest. So would you say that this chapter of life you're in is the introspective chapter, pretty much?

Anita 4:15

It is, yeah. I think that that's what it has to be because while I'm while I'm reflecting on myself, my actions, holding that mirror up to me, I also have some goals and purpose that needs to be manifested. So it's like a part of me, so when you say grown woman type vibe, that's exactly what it's giving, because it's like you don't have the time to always let me back it up. I feel like so many times people think that they have more time than what they do. So we keep delaying things. And I'm guilty of it as well. I think me delaying it and me, you know, pushing it out is working on me in a way that it never has before. It's like that complacency is like it feels like such a huge weight that I'm responsible for. So I think this portion of life is you have to do the work. When you don't want to do the work, you gotta get up, or you're not gonna be able to think about nothing but the work. So you might as well get up and do the work. So yeah.

Sara 5:17

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I actually just brought up this in therapy. I was saying, you know, I don't know how much time I have left, but I got things I need to do. So I need to be getting on my business. So if I'm caring, if I want to do the podcast, I need to do the podcast. If I want to work out, I need to work out. If I wanna get hobbies, I need to have my hobbies. And it's I don't know, something about the season is just moving beyond ideal and into into like execution.

Anita 5:48

For sure. Moving beyond feeling for me, because I feel like the feeling is what what makes me be okay with with watching this show instead of doing something productive. So moving past feeling and into execution. I do, I do think that I'm gonna check check on that one.

Sara 6:04

Okay, okay.

Anita 6:05

Well, speaking about feelings, when someone asks who you are, what do you hope they actually see? I hope they see a manifester. I hope they see that I'm somebody who when I say I'm gonna do something, it's gonna get done. And I, you know, and I got the track record to prove it. So yeah, I hope when they see me, they see Anita the Manifester. It used to be Anita the Amazing, but I'm okay with Anita the Manifester now.

Sara 6:31

Manifestor. When you say the manifestor, are you speaking only in conjunction to yourself, or are you saying that you're helping other people manifest as well?

Anita 6:40

That's so that's a solo mission for me right now. Manifesting has not been um, it has been a collaborative venture for me. It's been the things that I'm as I say this, we are what? What five days, how many days married?

Sara 6:57

None of their business.

Anita 6:58

So as I say this as a newlywed, it is very much we will have um that does have to shift obviously. But I think the thing is we've been together for so long. So when I speak of myself, I also speak of us. So yes, we are manifesting, I am manifesting, but outside of us, no, I'm I'm also understanding and picking up the the bag of you can't change nobody, people gonna do it. They want to do you responsible for yourself.

Sara 7:29

I feel that. I feel that because you you can't you can't change nobody. Only thing you can do is encourage people and try to help them from afar, but actually putting hands to the clay, you can't do that.

Anita 7:42

No, but but as a Christian, I am an encourager, so that that hit T. Like if somebody tells me a dream that they have, I am 100% in support if it's something that ain't, you know, that needs to be supported. I'm 100% supportive of it and encouraging of it, but I'm not, you know, I'm not gonna go out my way. I've send you like I had a friend yesterday and she just moved into her new place, and it's so beautiful, and we're, you know, by coastal. Yeah, sure. By coastal. So like the most that we can do is like a and doesn't have FaceTime, God. Anywho, so the most that we can do is send these videos to each other. And so she's keeping us in the loop by sending videos in our little group chat. And in that, it's just like, oh, if this would you go on for, hey, let me add some insight, you know, something as small as she said she didn't like the view of her her her patio. And I'm like, oh, well, you should do a um what is it like a plant wall fence, whatever it is. I was able to send some insight that way. So in that way, I am helping others. But as far as like life goes for myself and you, that's about it. Yeah.

Sara 8:53

I could feel that. I could feel that. When do you feel like you shifted into this introspective mindset?

Anita 9:01

I think a lot of it was just coming back home. I think coming back to Florida was probably the biggest shift that happened for me, and so many other shifts happened after that. But coming back home, I felt like when I was away from home, I was enjoying creating this new person and being this new person and having this new community, the new people that you're engaged with. I felt like coming home was almost like me coming back to my roots to remind myself who I am, and then from there push forward.

Sara 9:37

Okay. So what did that healing and that rebuilding of yourself like? What did that look like on a day-to-day? How how did you push through that to get to where you're at now?

Anita 9:49

Um, to get to this, I I don't know. I'm not one of those people that I have to have like a long three-month plan, six-month plan. I just moved. Like I just moved. And in me moving, it was a conscious decision. Hey, you ain't making the same mistakes no more. So it wasn't, it was just a verbal understanding and conversation that I had with myself that I I'm moving back home with purpose. And I wasted so much time when I was outside exploring and learning about myself and this beautiful world we live in, but I was also not putting myself first. I was also not acknowledging my needs and my wants and my desires and creating true situations and environments for me to be able to be successful in those ventures.

Sara 10:41

Solid. So, what surprised yourself about yourself during that period?

Anita 10:47

What surprised me?

Sara 10:49

Yeah, like while you were becoming this introspective grown woman, what what like what surprised yourself about that process?

Anita 10:57

I think what surprised me was how much of a people pleaser that I was. I think that I always, you know, I feel like I have this confidence of of being able to come into rooms and and feel like I am comfortable in my own my own space, my own mind, my own me, me being I'm able to present myself. I feel like it's something that I have this air of confidence about. But in reality, I feel like it was a hard lesson to learn how much of a people pleaser that I was, how I wanted things to be comfortable for others, more than comfortable for me. And it manifested or was most visible in situations when it came to people that I cared for. Like if it was like the conversation about race, oh, I'm so pro-black, I'm so this, you know that. When it came to conversations about, so who are you? Depending on who's asking, they got a different answer. And the answer was typically something that made them feel comfortable and put me in a box that I didn't belong in.

Sara 12:04

Does it ever stop?

Anita 12:06

It yeah, it gets a lot better, I'll tell you that.

Sara 12:11

Yeah, for sure. I think I struggle with people pleasing, like to this day, and it's crazy because you know how people say, oh, once you're aware of something, you can easily change it. Awareness is the first step, and uh sometimes I don't always catch it.

Anita 12:30

I wouldn't even say awareness is the first step. I want to say that denial is the first step, like that that looking at it like, no, this is supposed to, like for me, my excuse is, oh, this is my mama, oh, this is my daddy, this is no, no, this is me making myself small to make you comfortable and big. No, absolutely not. Not when I, you know, let me not go on a tangent, but not when I take care of myself and do for myself and do for others. I'm it just didn't, I don't know what it was or what moment it was. It probably was about this relationship, realistically. I I think it was something along the lines of I'm not gonna keep on minimizing what I got going on when I know I got something great going on just to make y'all comfortable. Uh-uh, uh-uh. No, miss me with it.

Sara 13:17

Honestly, the whole people pleasing thing it's like going off what you said, when you find something that's important to you and you recognize, okay, these behaviors can't continue. I don't know. I think sometimes with me it would be like, oh, um like you know, as a child, you want to be, you want your parents to be proud of you and all of that stuff. So I think like learning how to step outside of that, those expectations and into who you are and being fully open, it feels a bit scary.

Anita 13:55

It is scary. It is scary. I had a therapist who who told me, she says something along the lines. I wish I knew the exact words or could formulate the the best or do her justice for what she said. But it was along the lines of if I'm pleasing people, I'm putting them on a pedestal that they don't belong on. I'm making them an idol. And I think when she said it that way, it was almost like, oh no, no, no, no, no, we need to fix this ASAP. And it did not change ASAP at all. It's still things that I'm, it's plenty of things that I'm still working on. But it feels so good when you are able to claim your yeses and claim your no's and stand by them. Like when you can claim your time, claim this ob this idea of an obligation that doesn't, that doesn't service you, that doesn't feed you, that doesn't allow you to be better, be greater, but in fact takes away from you. I think when when I had to have those kind of conversations, and it was happening in the conversation with the people, like I would hear myself in ways I never heard myself before. Before it was just like, yeah, sure, okay, you know, and then and then it was like, oh, I think in the moment of the conversation, I was starting to feel uneasy. And then when I would talk to you about the conversation, I was really uneasy and feeling like I just got played. So I think that also, like just kind of talking through it and looking back at it, at my actions in it, not not ever what they're doing, because they ain't gonna change. They're comfortable doing what they're doing, but I'm not comfortable continuing to allow myself to the best word I got is feel played. Yeah.

Anita 15:39

But it wasn't a quick it wasn't like a quick transition where oh, I know this is a problem, so I need to fix it. It was a lot of awkward conversations with myself, with you, and almost shameful because if I'm thinking that it's uh idle, like I feel crazy at this point to keep on trying to do and and change and alter me to make them comfortable to put them on a pedestal that they don't belong on. And I know that's a bit much, but bear with me.

Sara 16:11

No, I don't think it is a bit much. I feel like in life, there are different people for different reasons, or there are different situations, and sometimes in those situations you want to conform to what people are expecting of you, and getting to a point to where you finally realize, hey, hold on, this is putting you in a place over me instead of beside me. It's a jarring realization, and it's something that helps you move forward to be better.

Anita 16:40

Yeah, but you have to hear it. Yeah, I'm sorry. No, go ahead, you have to hear it. You have to hear it, you have to hear yourself sounding crazy, you have to hear yourself like lowering you to make somebody else higher until it kind of really clicks where you're just like, This ain't how it's supposed to be. And and more importantly, think of doing this to me. I think that's like the woo moment for me, too.

Sara 17:06

That is the woo moment. I know you brought up shame. It reminds me of that book. What was it? The cycle of shame, the circle of shame, the soul of shame. The soul of shame, yeah. And about how that is pretty much an essential theme throughout every interaction and every response about learning how to escape those the feeling of shame and learning how to be open and vulnerable, even in moments where you anticipate shame.

Anita 17:35

Yeah, and hearing you say that, remind me, yeah, that I mean I recommend everybody read that book. But hearing you say that, I think when I started talking, especially out loud to you and replaying some of the ways that I felt in these conversations, I think that's when that vulnerability, which is the the the way, uh one of the best ways I think to combat shame is being vulnerable and being vocal about it. I think that was something that was very was more impactful than I can truly understand in how my progression away from people pleasing.

Sara 18:15

And I do want to highlight again that it wasn't like a linear progression, it was cyclical. Oh, that's the word cyclical, girl. It was cyclical. Sometimes it was up, sometimes it was down.

Anita 18:29

It looked like an EKG chart. It was up and down, up and down. Well, I don't even want to say it was cyclical and the fact that it went in cycles, yes, but it was think of an EKG and think of somebody beating good, not a flat line, but just a good up and down, up and down. That's what it that's what it was until it until it, you know, until I decided to do something about it. And I'm it's still an active thing that I'm working on. It ain't like I'm done with it. It's it's it's something that is active and getting better each day.

Sara 19:04

I could definitely see that. What would you say that you are grateful for now that you couldn't see back then?

Anita 19:12

This life we live. I could not imagine we would be doing what we're doing out here. I I can't imagine that we would have this beautiful life of just us and and all of its glory, and nobody gets it but us. I couldn't imagine that it would that what felt it felt backwards coming back home when I first was like, when I first heard that I need to come back home and not nobody telling me, but me feeling it spiritually, you need to come back home. It felt backwards. I remember my little favorite saying back in the day, you know, 20-year-old, I don't do the back the review mirror. Girl, I didn't do a review mirror, I did a first-class ticket back to the crib to redo it the right way. But I think it was it was just this life, I could have never expected that the things that I've accomplished, the things that we've accomplished, the things that we are yet to accomplish, but seem so attainable, I couldn't have thought that that it would be an everyday thing. That it would be something that we can that we can bank on. I never would have thought that this life, us being married, us having this home, us having these trips and these experiences and family planning, all this type of stuff. I couldn't have imagined any of this being that day because I didn't have a space where I could I could manifest the next moment, but I could manifest the lifetime in the way that I feel like I'm able to manifest this lifetime that we have.

Sara 20:54

Oh, that's so nice. Yeah, that's so nice. I think just as a result of everything that was happening in the ether and like the world and just within us, I think that we have managed to take something that happened that started in a very dark world and kind of turned it into something beautiful.

Anita 21:26

I be telling people, COVID did two things it cleared out and it brought together. So wherever you find yourself is where you find yourself, but it and it did both, it did both in in the best way possible.

Sara 21:42

Okay, so this podcast is also about gratitude. So I do want to make sure we touch on it a bit. So do you feel like gratitude comes easily to you, or do you feel like it's something that you have to practice?

Anita 21:54

I think gratitude comes easier than expected because it was. It's like a different kind of gratitude. I feel like, and maybe gratitude wasn't the word I had as a child, because as a child, you were always grateful. It was, it was very much we were underprivileged in environments of high privilege. So you it was more noticeable that you didn't have. So when you had, it was much more appreciated, and you were so grateful for it. However, gratitude in this life, in this moment, it feels a lot different. Gratitude for me can be those quiet moments that I didn't I didn't anticipate being so grateful for. I'm so grateful when I can, you know, hear the birds, when I, you know, ain't gotta hear snoring, when I, you know, I'm grateful for things in life that that are past materialism. I'm grateful for feeling I'm grateful for this relationship and feeling like I have relationships, platonic and this one, that I'm and familial also, that I'm able to be myself and share myself and be accepted and be projected. I think that's what gratitude looks like for for me now. So did it come easy in a different way. When you say projected, what can you expound on that? Like magnified, like I feel like we have have relationships that allow us to the support system that we do have, I think it it allows us to project and make louder, make bigger the things that we want for ourselves or we want for others.

Sara 23:38

Yeah, I could definitely see that with our support systems for sure. Um I can really appreciate how you say that the things that you're grateful for are not material. Because so often people are like, Oh, I'm grateful for you know, I'm grateful for having whatever, whatever, or what uh all these material things that don't really amount to anything because at the end of the day, those aren't the things that we'll live on, like they'll all deteriorate in like 20 years, and things material items don't matter at the end of the day. Like when you're dying, you're not gonna say, Oh, thank God I got that Cadillac. Like, you know, it's not it's not gonna hit the same, but you will say, Thank God I have my wife by me, or thank God I have my family, or thank God people look out for me, or something. You know, like those are the things that you would be gracious, we're grateful for. So when I hear you say that, when I hear you say that you're grateful for the non-material things, it just it's I think it it sounds like uh an um what is it? A real adult thing. Yeah, and that's what it is. Like we're we're not we're not grateful that I don't know. I I just I think it just it's it signifies growth and it signifies a a new level of living. And maybe oh go ahead.

Anita 25:17

Go ahead.

Sara 25:17

I was gonna say maybe it is a privilege because we have things checked off that make it easier to appreciate those things.

Anita 25:25

I agree with that. I I also agree that the biggest thing is the growth. Like I feel like so much of it and my gratitude is rooted in the journey to becoming who I am today and who I'm still going to be tomorrow in the days to come. So I think that gratitude for me, it's not materialistic because it wasn't the material things I was able to take on the journey. I literally have moved so many places where I've had to leave things behind. And so many of those things just felt like weight, unnecessary weight that we're carrying. But what did not feel like weight was, like you said, the community that we've built, the relationships that we have, the moments where we can just be at peace and know that this peace was a journey to get to. It wasn't nothing about it that was just you know a real quick pick me kind of moment. No, this took decades, years to to get, and because of that journey, you hold on to it, you value it, you have so much gratitude for it.

Sara 26:31

Gratitude is something that I believe helps color the world you see. So you know, on dark days, while things may not be going right, you can say, you know what, this is wrong, this is wrong, and this is wrong. But I thank God that this is right, this is like my family's well, I'm well, I have an opportunity to change what I can change and what I can't change, I'm just gonna put it in the Lord's hands and say, Okay, this is something I need you to work on, Lord. Yeah, yeah. I agree with that.

Anita 27:15

I I wholeheartedly agree with that. When you say that gratitude is is the like when you say that, I truly do think of just the beautiful colors that that you've introduced me to, that makes me so much more grateful for this life because I think I did have like in my vows, I had a life that I thought was black or white. And I still have troubles with the gray or the colors, let's be clear. But I appreciate the the gratitude as being able to, like you know, I love to look back at my pictures, and it's hurting my heart that I gotta, you know, get a new phone. But well, anyway. It's I love to look back at the pictures of of experiences that we had. And I think while you just have a photo, it's the story that comes with it. I think gratitude allows me to to enjoy the story, to enjoy and let that story be the color. Let it all kind of blend in together into something that's just such a perfect moment that I can just take time, relishing, and use that to keep me pushing on the days that aren't the best.

Sara 28:33

I can see that. I could definitely see that.

Anita 28:35

Yeah, I think the colors, I think the colors are are the story that that allows me to truly find gratitude. Like when I'm sad, I'm looking at photos of the past, and the story is what perks me up or gets me in a different mental space.

Sara 28:59

Okay. It's funny you brought that up because my next question was literally like what helps you get through the hard days now?

Anita 29:06

What helps me get through the hard days now is the past, the story. Like, I don't like I don't what helps me get through the hard days. So, okay, let's let's let's put some some some reason there. So when we came into this year, we were intentional and wanting to create a uh a motive for the year, and it is all is well. I think while we just created it, it's something that's been in the works for a long, a long time now. And the idea is that all is well, all has been well, so all must be well. I think in the hard days, you remind yourself of the wellness, you remind yourself of the the colors and the story and the gratitude and how you made it through because that reminds me how strong and powerful I am, and how nothing's broken me before, and nothing will break me. So this is so momentary. Keep pushing, don't stop for sure.

Sara 30:07

It reminds me of like an old pastor being like the testimony or the test is a testimony, and it's like, yeah, it is. And looking back on all these testimonies, you start to have a little bit more faith and strength, and just knowing and peace, and knowing that you've been through things before and you haven't been broken, so why would you be now?

Anita 30:30

Yeah, and I don't want to keep going through, like, I don't want no more bottoms. I mean, we'll have low earth moments, but I don't need no low-ist moments no more. Like, we Lord. But yeah, I do think that the testimony is definitely what what keeps me going. Um, also, what keeps me going is this this future that I have envisioned. Like I know I can't give up now because Tampa and her siblings are gonna need these moments to learn from, and we gotta keep pushing so that Tampa can have some siblings, you know.

Sara 31:05

We need Tampa to manifest first, girl.

Anita 31:08

Manifest, listen.

Sara 31:11

We're the manifest queen out here. I see, girl. I see. I can't wait. Um, so how do you treat yourself on a day where you feel like you've fallen short of your expectations for yourself?

Anita 31:29

I want to say ice cream, but that ain't giving what it's supposed to give no more. Um, how do I treat my day on the days where so when I say when you say that I have I've fallen short on my expectations, I hear my day was unsuccessful. So I just need to put that on to the next day and create a clearer timeline. I need to not worry about what I didn't accomplish. I need to make sure that those accomplishments are aligned so that way they can be achieved. So if that means putting it off till tomorrow, but having very clear it has to get done, it has to get done. I'm not I'm not in a space where I'm beating myself up if I don't do everything on the list that day. I'm in a space where I'm giving myself grace and recognizing, hey girl, you ain't have it. And you know you, you know if you had it, you would, but you ain't have it. Let's try again.

Sara 32:19

That's that's a solid response. I think that I think I like how you give yourself grace.

Anita 32:27

Yeah. This is my soft girl era. I don't know what that means all the way, but it feels like I need to embrace it. This is my soft girl. Soft girl era ain't beating ourselves because we forgot to to unload the dishwasher. No, soft girl era is why you didn't unload the dishwasher. Now you got mo tasks tomorrow. Make sure you do it tomorrow, tonight, like you're supposed to. That's it.

Sara 32:48

For sure. I think handling yourself gently is a part of it's a part of self-love. I was looking at an interview, um, a clip of an interview with Leslie. I think her name is Leslie Jones, the comedian. And she was saying that she says something to herself that was just so rude and so disrespectful that she had to turn around and say, I am sorry. Yeah. And like she was saying, like, she says things to herself that she would never say to another person. And I I believe she was highlighting the importance of learning how to talk to yourself and not accepting that behavior from yourself because those things matter. They impact yo.u

Anita 33:33

very true, very true. That sounds like what my girl Porshaa was saying when she was just like, and I posted, and I think people thought I was crazy, but she was just like, when I get to start hearing somebody tell me or me tell, no, no, when she gets to heart start hearing herself say, you can't do this, or this thing, she said, girl, shut the F up. You shut the F up. And she meant, and she admitted in the way she said it, I was just like, girl, yes. But I think I do think that it's it's a I think I'm finally becoming friends with myself too. I think that might have been a huge shift, where I like this girl. And I know her story more than anybody else's story. And I love to read a book. I love to like get in depth in people and do write a passage stories. And I feel like I've lived this story and the person who I am today. I like her. I didn't always like her. So because I like her and because we're friends, we gotta move different. We gotta talk different. And that internal self-talk, well, that self-n-yeah, self-talk, huge. Don't let, I ain't gonna let nobody talk to me the way I've allowed myself to talk to me. Can you imagine? It would have been a real quick 305, say what now? But it it's it's not, I can't, I can't sit up here and be like, oh, you you can't talk to me like this, and I'm not gonna, you know, I can't say this to people who I encounter when I'm allowing these conversations to happen in my head about me. I'm not.

Sara 35:07

You can, but you need to check yourself.

Anita 35:10 Anita 35:10

I'm trying to tell. What Porsha? , shut the F up.

Sara 35:17

So silly. Mercy. So silly. Okay. So what would you say a brighter day looks like for you now?

Anita 35:29

A brighter day for me now looks like a productive day and productive work, yes, but also productive where I feel like I've created a moment for myself as well as a moment for us. And it could be something as small as cooking together or doing something different. You know, we're trying to learn how to shoot pools. So y'all, y'all look out for us. But like just doing something that checks all of the boxes. Now, my me time is always my time where I'm spending spiritual time, I'm looking at my money, I'm planning and work, you know, work is work. Then our time is just like, how can we maximize this? Because quality time ain't just that we around each other 24-7. But what are we doing in this time? Are we allowing it to be wide? I think that's what that's what I look forward to, a successful, productive day where I'm checking off all the boxes. And if I can get a call to my mama in that day too, that's a that's a whammy, double whammy there.

Sara 36:28

So a brighter day to you looks like a wider day and a day where you can connect with your loved ones.

Anita 36:34

The way you put it together like that, yes, yes. That's what I was trying to say. You're so silly.

Sara 36:42

All right, giggle it. Y'all y'all giggling. All right, so what do you want the many, many, many, many, many listeners listening to this to take away with them from this conversation?

Anita 36:55

Um, I want y'all to make a plan. To make a true plan. I, you know, we we love some some of the Lord, so it is it's definitely giving, make a plan. What they say, write the vision and make it plain. I want y'all to to be intentional about having brighter days, to be intentional in a grayer day to try to make it brighter. And what does that look like for you? Have a clear idea of what that is and utilize the skills that you that you develop.

Sara 37:30

I can feel that. You know, I think I want something to take people to take with them is when while this podcast is named Brighter Daze, and it's like daze, like dazed that confused, it's like get so optimistic, not necessarily optimistic, but just so caught up in being grateful for what you have going on that you're just taken away from all the darkness around you, and like you just push through, you be the light in the darkness around everyone, or to to show you be the light in the darkness so that everyone around you can see it, and then they just wonder, like, oh well, what's going on with that? How are they moving so different? And at the end of the day, you're just like, I don't know, but I'm grateful for what I have. I'm just trying to push forward.

Anita 38:14

I feel like what I hear you say is optimizing gratitude and brighterness, and I think that that's like a skill set that people should really learn to develop more.

Sara 38:26

Oh, I feel that. All right. Well, thank you everybody for listening to this conversation with my wife, Anita. And I just I thank you for listening, and I hope that you all have a great day. And follow me on my socials, they'll be in the description below, as well as send me an email. Ask for bright ask for the number four brighterdaze at gmail.com. That's ask the number four brighterdaze at gmail.com. And thank you very much for listening to us. Have a great day, everybody.