BrighterDaze with Sara
BrighterDaze is a space where we get lost in gratitude instead of drowning in despair. We talk to real people. We celebrate victories. We have honest conversations about gratitude, resilience, and the motivation it takes to keep showing up every day.
BrighterDaze with Sara
Ep. 5: Jay “The Consistent Presence” Collier | Self-Worth, Change & Choosing Happiness
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What does it look like to keep choosing yourself, even when life feels uncertain?
In this episode of BrighterDaze with Sara, I sit down with Jay Collier — photographer, creative, and self-described “awkward but cool guy” — for a real conversation about change, therapy, depression, self-worth, and learning how to show up for yourself.
Jay opens up about being in a season of transition, embracing change instead of fearing it, and finding joy even when life does not look the way he expected. We talk about therapy, routine, chosen family, gratitude, and the importance of not letting one hard day turn into a hard season.
This episode is honest, reflective, and full of reminders that healing does not always have to look perfect. Sometimes it looks like doing one small thing, choosing happiness again, and refusing to give up on yourself.
Guest Info:
Follow Jay Collier and check out his photography at jwestco.com.
Jay's IG: jwesco_
Email: Ask4BrighterDaze@gmail.com
IG: @brighterdazepodcast
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Welcome to BrighterDaze with Sara. This is a space where we get lost in gratitude instead of drowning in despair. I'm your host, Sara Dorris, here we talk to people. We celebrate their victories, and we talk about resilience, gratitude, and daily life motivators. I am really looking forward to today's individual we're speaking with. It is one of the most talented photographers that I've seen, and not that I'm like a, you know, savant or... Is that the right word? I don't know. Whatever. Not that I'm like a professional classifier of photographers, but he is amazing and I just loved his spirit, so I wanted to see if we could have a conversation. His name is Jay Collier, and I am really looking forward to talking to you. Thank you so much for coming, and welcome.
Jay Collier:Thank you, thank you, thank you. Glad to be here.
Sara D.:Yeah, yeah, for sure. So how are you feeling today? How, how's your day been going?
Jay Collier:Ho-honestly, my day's been going pretty well. I think I talked to you earlier about how I was moving. I was supposed to actually move on Monday, but I'm actually moving tomorrow. Uh, so I was just doing like some packing and stuff today, um, while I was working and doing laundry and a bunch of other things. But it... overall, a chill day, a regular weekday.
Sara D.:Yeah, I hear you. I had work today and I was just like, "Okay, uh, I love my job and it's really nice, but I'm really looking forward to getting off work."
Jay Collier:Yeah.
Sara D.:So how do you feel about life right now? What do you feel like is one word that describes the season that you're in?
Jay Collier:Hmm. Man, this season I feel like is, is about, for me, it's about like embracing change, I think. Um Not being afraid of change, but rather embracing it. I, I think I've come to a point in my life where, you recognize at some point that, the fairy tale we're sold as kids isn't exactly all true, you know? So you get a point where you're like-- where that could really get you down. But I feel like there's-- the other side of that is being like, "Hey, life isn't what you expected or maybe not what you, what you thought it was going to be." But you do get to embrace all the little changes and all the little happinesses and the highs and the lows, and you get to kind of ride the wave, and that's, that's where I find joy in it.
Sara D.:How do you learn to find that joy? Because typically people hate change and it's really hard to get people to change. So how?
Jay Collier:Yeah. I mean, I think there's like a level of like delusional optimism. You know, I think for a person, once you've reached a, uh, a point of negativity, and you can see the opposite side of that, you can say "Okay. Well, like there's no way I can be happy after I've been so sad," or something like that. But you can also just, just choose the option to be happy, and choose the option to, to love what you're doing and loving yourself. And there is a, an amount of delusional happiness to that that you kinda have to, you know, drink the Kool-Aid of. But, it kinda works. It really kinda works.
Sara D.:I think that's a, that's been a constant theme that's been happening where people are just like, "You kind of just have to choose happiness." And I don't know if, at one point you just go through enough stuff to where you're like, "Okay, I can choose this." Or, or I guess let me put it this way. I don't know if you have to earn the ability to choose happiness because I think that if you haven't been through anything, you don't know what it looks like to necessarily make that choice.
Jay Collier:Yeah. Yeah. I mean, in, in a way. In a way, yeah, you kinda do have to earn your stripes in that realm. And granted, you know, there's outliers to that. Like, there's people that haven't gone through strife that have, you know, achieved greatness or at least achieved happiness. But I think in a lot of ways, yeah, it is, it is that, that knowing that you've been through the darkness, so to speak, that you can then like see the light more clearly. And there's something to that.
Sara D.:How... I don't know. I can't remember if I just asked you this or not, but how did you get to a point of being so locked in with change right now? Like what, I don't wanna get too far into your business, but what prompted this new season of change for you?
Jay Collier:Yeah. Well, I mean, just like over the past few years of life, There-- Like, it's been, it's just been like a litany of changes. I started going to therapy, uh, which made a big change in my life. Kinda started taking my health a lot more seriously. That was a big change in my life. Got a new job, and so that was a big change. That job, uh, was gonna have me move overseas, which, which I did, and then a war happened, and then I came back. A-and, uh, you know, so there's been... It's been like for the last year just a lot of like, I don't know... everything is uncertain. I thought I was supposed to move out of the country in March, and then I didn't until January of this year. So everything's just been kinda like up in the air. And in the beginning It was really defeating me. I'm a person who kinda thrives on routine, and when I had that stripped from me, it just like... I don't know. I kinda , fell down into this apathetic nature where it was like, "I don't really care about what's going on." "I don't have any control. I can't control any of this. What am I gonna do?" And I think you just endure enough of that where you're just like, " I can't control any of this. All this is out of my control." But, if you still keep having successes in your life, despite all of those things, you start to be like, everything is always gonna be out of my control. But if I just choose to embrace the few things that I can control, maybe that's, just where happiness is, at least for me."
Sara D.:Mm-hmm. Okay. So it sounds like I feel like everybody I talk to is like they're evolving, they're becoming, and maybe
Jay Collier:Mm-hmm.
Sara D.:That's just the state of life it is. I know that
Jay Collier:Yeah.
Sara D.:therapy has made a huge difference in my life.
Jay Collier:I mean, I
Sara D.:had good
Jay Collier:try to
Sara D.:I've had bad
Jay Collier:like preach
Sara D.:I've had amazing therapists, I just
Jay Collier:positivity
Sara D.:highly
Jay Collier:of
Sara D.:it. Like when you're ready to really have those impactful
Jay Collier:therapy to
Sara D.:I can
Jay Collier:like
Sara D.:or at least I
Jay Collier:all
Sara D.:to think I can agree with you. You haven't said it, but definitely can change things around and it's sad that
Jay Collier:friends
Sara D.:don't necessarily feel
Jay Collier:and, um...
Sara D.:it, but just not ready Yeah, Yeah, I mean, I try to ,like, preach positivity or therapy to all my friends you know, I don't think--
Jay Collier:I think you-- like somebody has to be truly ready for it to really, uh, get out of it what you need to, so to speak. I mean, I think I did a lot of therapy before I started benefiting from it. Um- Because naturally us as people, we, we mask our emotions and even to somebody that we're paying to tell us how to feel good, we'll still do that. So for me at least, it took me years before, honestly, before I got a real benefit out of therapy just because I was just still in there just trying to pretend like that guy couldn't actually help me. Uh, and then, you know, one day you're like, "He really does know what he's talking about."
Sara D.:I guess.
Jay Collier:Yeah. I guess I'll just listen. He does tend to be right.
Sara D.:Yeah, that is so funny. I just remember being in therapist's office and being like, "Oh, okay, I think I need a new therapist." But when you really find the one that you can lock in with, it's, it's like, "Oh, you're helping me, and I'm asking for tools, and you're giving me tools, and I'm using the tools. Who knew life could be this grand?"
Jay Collier:Yeah. Right. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Sara D.:Mm. So, hmm, you're in a season of change, What is something about you that doesnt necessarily show up on paper
Jay Collier:Mmmhhh... something that doesnt show up on paper, like positive or negative or it doesn't matter?
Sara D.:I mean, wherever you go with it. I, I would, I would like to hear something positive, but if you need to unload.
Jay Collier:No, I mean, I, I didn't know how far you're trying to dig. I mean, I'm an open book, you know. Um, some- something that doesn't show, um, that's positive. Hmm. I think, I think a lot of people like don't, don't necessarily see the most full version of me, until I'm really comfortable with them. I think that, uh, it's like, it's like a natural thing to kinda tone yourself around, um, around others. It's something that I try to work on 'cause it's like you don't wanna, you don't wanna like quench your shine, you know. You should always be giving people your-- the best version of yourself. But sometimes, you know, I, I think inside I'm still like this, this shy like eight-year-old, you know. I think I've never quite, never quite broken out of that guy. So I think a lot of people just don't realize I'm a lot more like animated and, um- A lot funnier than I, I, than I, than I lead on. Mostly because I'm just kinda quiet. But I-- Man, it's like if people only knew the things I'm thinking inside of my head. And, and if I was, like, able or, or courageous enough, um, to just say some of the, the dumb things that I think about, I think I could probably crack a few more jokes here and there.
Sara D.:You're like, "You people haven't subscribed to the... Or you haven't been given access to the premium package of me
Jay Collier:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, not yet. Not yet. Not y- I mean, some people do. Some people get, like, the, the premium experience, but I feel like most people get this, um, this, like, serious guy who, who jokes on occasion. But, uh, it's, like, mostly just serious Jay for everybody. With, with a sense of humor, though. With a sense of humor. Like, a side.
Sara D.:What does that come from? Or do you know?
Jay Collier:Mm. I don't-- You know, I'm sure it's, like, some family stuff. Like, I'm sure. Um, but I don't, I don't ever feel like anybody in my family ever kinda, willfully didn't want me to be my biggest self. I think I've always just been shy. Like, I've always been, like, the kid riding on his grandmother's coattail, hiding behind everything. Which is ironic because I did, professional theater and stuff. So for someone who was, so afraid to act out in front of people, if I was playing a character, I was really good at it. But yeah, I don't know. It's just always kind of been me, and I think I just, haven't... I don't know if I would say, I haven't, come out of my shell because I don't necessarily think, that's a part of me that needs to change. Um, but it is, it is something.
Sara D.:Yeah, for sure it is something. I can relate to it. That's why I was asking to see where yours comes from, 'cause I know before I met my wife, to everyone who knew me, it was like, "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm great. Everything's fine. No problems. Everything's perfect. Mm-hmm. Um, yeah, yeah. Yeah, this, yeah, that," whatever. But I don't think I was really showing my true self, like only to people who really, really, really knew me. And, um, it changed when I got in my relationship, but it also helped change when I read this book called "The Soul of Shame." And pretty much this man, he spoke about how in society, they use shame or people feel shame and are shamed by people for being vulnerable. And sometimes, you know, you have to step outside of the fear of that or that shame that people are putting on you to just kind of step out and put yourself out there because... I don't know if this is exactly what the book was saying, but this is what I got from it. But you have to step outside of that so that you can show your true self to people because you're meant to be different. You're meant to have. your quirks and all of this stuff. And yeah, like I can sit back and I can think about something I did that was cringe and be like, "Ugh, that was embarrassing." But you know what? That was who I was in that moment, and I'm gonna own it.
Jay Collier:Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Sara D.:Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it is, I don't know, I think it just feels so much better now to, to get older and to learn how to share yourself with people, 'cause I think when I was younger, a lot of my time was spent trying to, to kind of mold to fit who I thought people wanted me to be. And I don't think I realized I was doing it, but I was. And don't know, it's just, it's just life. So I can relate to you for sure.
Jay Collier:yeah. Trying to fit in people's mold will get you in trouble. It really will.
Sara D.:It really will. You'll ha- uh, be out here acting like a whole different person and doing stuff that you Yeah. Exactly. is. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay, so I wanna ask you something that may... I wanna ask you something that may not sound like what it is, so you gotta probably think about it a little bit. Okay. When someone asks who you are, what do you hope they see?
Jay Collier:Mm. Listen, ask who I am, what do they hope or what do I hope that they see? I hope they see that... I, I mean, at face value, I hope they see the version of me that I intend to project to them, um, as a whole. But I also would like to see that-- Or I would also like to think that they see me as someone who is consistent and honest. Um, and really, that's, that's the main thing that I just pride myself to be. I, I hope to give myself a ver-- or hope to give people a version of myself that is consistent enough that regardless of the setting they meet me in, they're getting the same guy. And that's not to say that I'm, like, riding the most even keel and I'm a boring monotone person. Uh, but I just want people to, know what to expect from me. Like a certain level, of this and a certain level of that, however that looks. Whether that's just the way that I respect and treat others or, the way that I would treat you as if you were a friend of mine, whether I don't know you or, or whatever. I, I try to treat people all equally and give everybody the same unique Jay experience. Because it, it's-- And it's not even one of those you never know who's watching type things. Um, but it's-- But it kinda is, right? Like, I don't know. I, I, I try to like... I wouldn't want someone to say that like they met me and they had this poor experience and then for that to be true for other people as well, you know? Um, so yeah, I would just hope that they see that guy that is just uniquely similar every time in every space, because I think that that's something worth striving to be.
Sara D.:I hear you say that and I hear you wanna be seen as authentic, and a part of you being authentic means showing yourself to be a person of integrity, of kindness, and a straight shooter. How do you manage to not hold on to preconceived notions when meeting people or things like that? 'Cause you know, everyone, like you see someone and you make judgments about them and whether or not it's intentional, typically the way you act towards them is, there's some of that in there somehow I would think. So how do you manage that? Or is it just, you just know.
Jay Collier:I mean, I think there is a level of , you just know what your baseline is, what your baseline of respect that you would give anyone. Obviously I'm not a perfect human being, so I can't say that I don't walk into situations with preconceived notions about things. But I think like at the end, at the end, most decisions we make that are on a human-to-human level, we can find common ground and show people an equal level of respect. You can get into the weeds or semantics and say like, like put out a bunch of hypothetical situations in which Uh, which maybe I might act differently towards somebody because they're doing something or maybe they smell funny or something. I don't know. But I think if it comes down to like, if you have a thousand people walk up to, to me in a line and they all need a hug, I think I can give all, all thousand of them a hug regardless. You know what I mean? I feel like there, there's a baseline respect that you could-- that I could just say that I could do for anybody, and it wouldn't matter. I feel that. I feel that. I mean, we're all human and we all have the same wants, needs, and desires, so Mm-hmm. the least we can do to our fellow man is to show them a common level of respect. Yeah. Yeah, I think so.
Sara D.:I heard you say that you're in therapy, and when I think of therapy, I think of growth, I think of change, and I also think of gratitude. So what is something that you're grateful for now that maybe you couldn't have seen in the past?
Jay Collier:Oh, I mean, quite easily, I'm grateful for myself. I think the biggest thing, therapy has taught me has just been as simple as self-worth, self-positivity. Most of the work that I've done has all been like self-esteem based, honestly, realistically. So yeah, I'm just grateful to appreciate who I am and wanna make that person better instead of just kinda like you said earlier, just trying to do things, maybe just what people wanna hear or trying to be the person that other people want you to be. Just living my true authentic life, doing what I wanna do because it's motivating me and it's for me. Um, and I didn't have that appreciation for myself before. So, uh, yeah, that's, that's the thing I'm eternally grateful for.
Sara D.:I like it a lot. Self-worth was something that was hard for me to learn, and I mean, I guess you still, you still build on it every day, but Mm-hmm. think that when you finally have it, you got it, and it definitely does feel freeing almost. Mm-hmm. So since you're in this new season of self-worth and we want to celebrate you, what are some things that you're joyful for now that you do? What brings you joy on a typical daily basis or however frequency?
Jay Collier:Yeah. Friends. Friends are a big thing, just like your own, your own community. I'm not someone who has, a close, family unit, but I am grateful to have, great friends, people who I can lean on, all the time. That's something I'm, I'm celebrating personally. I went through, like, a, like, a mid-adult life period where, a bunch of friends had moved away. You know, seasons come and go when you're an adult and especially as the decades pass when we get older. But I'm, grateful for, this community that I have that's brewing and, fills my cup, emotionally. So yeah, that's the best thing I got going right now.
Sara D.:Sounds like you have friends that are like family.
Jay Collier:Yeah, a hundred percent. Absolutely.
Sara D.:I was gonna say that's the best family you could have.
Jay Collier:Low-key.
Sara D.:It's nice. I mean, it's nice when you, when you're able to create those relationships that are so impactful and so, I don't know, just so wholesome and worth it.
Jay Collier:Yeah.
Sara D.:How do you practice gratitude on a daily basis? Or you know what? No, no, no, no, no. What is gratitude to you now?
Jay Collier:Hmm. What is gratitude? Gratitude to me feels like hopefulness, feels like, the embodiment of hope. Because I had a point in my life where maybe I, I wasn't grateful for a lot of things that I had, but I think it was just because I didn't have a lot, a lot of hope or I had a lot of apathy. I think in, in the inverse of those two is where I found gratitude because I think if you can't see the light at the end of a dark tunnel, um, it's kinda hard to care if you ever get to the end. But once you can see it, then it gives you a lot more ambition and a lot of things... You know, and you're grateful for every step you take towards that, that light. Whereas before you don't really care 'cause you can't see your progress. But I feel like every step forward, is embracing a hope that maybe I didn't have before, and that's gratefulness for me.
Sara D.:I hear for you gratitude is on the other side of pretty much despair and apathy.
Jay Collier:Mm-hmm.
Sara D.:A lot of people experience depression, and I know from my experience it could be all-consuming. So what are some things that helped you push through it? I know therapy was one of them, but were there any tools that you were given or anything you recommend to someone who is struggling with depression now?
Jay Collier:Yeah. Yeah. Find a routine, find things to do, and try really hard to do those things over and over again. That's really what worked for me. I think my depression kinda always shows itself in, a relinquishment of, like, all activities of daily living. I just become like a shell of a human. Do nothing, see nothing, go nowhere. I think it's easy as, just not doing that and doing, the littlest of things. Finding things that make you happy and making sure that you consistently do them despite any reason not to. Because I feel like it's so easy, especially when you're depressed, to find a way to do nothing. It's a constant commitment in the same way, that you have to choose happiness or joy. It's the same commitment to showing up for yourself in those moments. Truly just showing up.
Sara D.:You're right, it is very easy to do nothing when you're depressed. It's like the best and the worst thing. Mm-hmm. Why do I need to leave the house? I'll just sleep. And while it may feel terrible and nice, it's not necessarily the best response. I like how you say that you need to get a routine and keep it, because that is the hard part about moving beyond what you feel and doing something else. Because even just getting out the house and going for a walk, which is what i do, when i struggle. I just try to walk and be outside more, um, it's good for you. Like the sunlight is something that improves your mood. Getting exercise is something that improves your mood. Um, I don't know, just small things. Like even just going out to the grocery store and speaking with the cashier for those little 30 seconds to a minute, like it can really improve your mood. So I understand while some people may not have community around them they think they have or they would like to have, that cashier that you talk to every day, they're a part of your community in some way, and there'd always be someone to miss you if anything should ever happen. So
Jay Collier:Mm-hmm.
Sara D.:I think it's always important to...don't dismiss the small things.
Jay Collier:Absolutely. Gratitude sounds like it's been something that's life changing for you...like it is for everybody. Um, how would you say that it's changed the way that you, the way that you love? Mm-mm. I think, yeah. The whole journey, has really taught me that, the old adage of where people say, you can't love someone else truly until you love yourself, that, that is like the truest thing anybody's ever said. I don't really think you can find a love for other people until you love yourself truly. I think for me, it's changed because I just didn't have that before. I was always just trying to please people, whether it's, you know, friendships or relationships and past partners and stuff. It's really hard to show up for people when you're not showing up for yourself. So I think it's, it's mostly molded me into a person that just truly understands love in a way that I didn't before, because I know how to show up for people, and really truly be present for them because I actually do that for myself. It hits different when you can show up in an authentic way to somebody else, just because you finally understand it. So yeah, I hope, that keeps getting easier and keeps getting better. But something so simple that's made such a big change, for me at least.
Sara D.:I can see that. I feel like, before I knew how to love myself, I don't feel that I necessarily knew how to handle a heart. Um, and I think now it's a lot better, uh, a lot more easier, like you said, to, to do the necessary things to make someone feel seen and heard because you know how to make yourself feel seen and heard. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. We have up days and we have down days. So how do you get through your hard days now?
Jay Collier:I don't always do it the best. There's some days where I still do nothing on down days. But I think mostly it's an understanding and, being able to recognize days that are down days, and not saying, "Okay, I'm down today, and now I'm down, so I'm just gonna be down." And TBD, uh, I don't know when that's gonna end. Now I can say, "Hey, you're having a down day, um, but you don't have to have a down tomorrow, and you can bounce back, and we can just get back on our stuff tomorrow." I think that's, that's, uh, that's been a big change for me because I, I would just have one bad day and just let that become a bad six months. And now, it's just recognizing that not every day has to be perfect, But you can not necessarily embrace the suck 'cause I think that's dangerous. But you can em-embrace your circumstances and know that they don't have to last forever. Nothing lasts forever. Hmm. Yeah,
Sara D.:In the darkest moments, I think it's important to remember everything you've been through and just to use that as a testimony to yourself that, know, I don't know, like, I got fired from that job those years ago and, you know, I got through that. And yeah, such and such broke up with me, I got through that. And I don't know, I broke my leg and
Jay Collier:absolutely.
Sara D.:I got through that. So it's just like you've got a, you've got a whole life full of wins so, wait for your next one and keep pushing Absolutely Mm. Okay. So what does a good day mean to you now?
Jay Collier:A good day is usually for me when I've just, I've felt like an autonomy, in that day where I just woke up and I did the things I want... And it's not like I feel like, uh, I'm like suddenly like a rebel, like I wake up and I do whatever I wanna do, you know? Um, but tru- I mean, like, isn't that kind of, isn't that kinda like the idea of like what everybody's perfect day would be to just like wake up and do whatever they wanna do? Um, so in a way, yeah, I do wake-- My best days are when I wake up and I do what I wanna do. And sometimes it's, it's also things that I don't wanna do, like work. But for the most part, I think A depression is like, uh, almost an ack-- an acknowledgement that there are better things, but you're like choosing sadness in a way. Um, because at least, at least in my experience with depression, it was, it was always a very conscious decision to stay in it. So I think just having that ability to, to not make that decision is, is kind of a triumph in a way and, that's really what a good day feels like. A good day feels like just choosing to not have a bad day because that-- I mean, that's worth celebrating 'cause the bad days are bad.
Sara D.:I feel that. I was thinking as you were talking, how does that self-talk look within yourself when you're having those dark moments?
Jay Collier:Yeah. It's, it's... The self-talk, uh, kind of the introspective por-portion of that is honestly like a lot of like... I always describe it as... I have ADHD, right? And so my brain works in tabs, and I have had like seven tabs open with varying levels of priority. If I could just get myself to do one of those, we could knock out each one of them at a time. But collectively, all of them are yelling at me to finish them right now, and that's overwhelming. So my bad days are the days when I can say that all of these tabs aren't going to overwhelm me, and I'm gonna do one of them at a time, and I'm gonna get it done. And otherwise, seven tabs becomes twelve tabs, twelve tabs becomes twenty-eight tabs, and it only gets worse. But the only way out is literally by going one by one and getting them done. And it was almost like a, a way of me training myself in a, in a conditioned way to just be like, the more overwhelmed you are, the worse you will feel. So find a way to fix that, that pile of dirt from piling on top of you more and more and more again. So it almost puts you in this, this like Sisyphus-like cycle where you're pushing a rock up a hill. There's a quote that I read, let me pull it up while I'm thinking of it, uh, that really, really kinda stuck with me, and it was about Sisyphus, and that's why I think about it every time. And of course, now I'm not gonna be able to like quickly pull it up. Oh yeah, here it is. Um- So he said, like, "The struggle alone is enough to fill a man's heart." And that was from this guy named Albert Camus, who wrote a book about Sisyphus. But I think, like, truly being able to embrace the struggle of the monotony of life and its difficulty is the truest form of, of just saying, "I'm gonna keep doing this no matter how..." Hard life is or how, like, how-- Whatever is pressing against you, there's, like, a certain, like, determination that it takes to, flip the bird to life and be like, "I'm just gonna keep doing this." To circle back to this question that I went on a terrible tangent on, um,
Sara D.:It was great!
Jay Collier:yeah, no. But to circle b- to circle back, I think it's just that, um... Yeah, I think you just deal with, deal with the hard days by flipping the bird to life and saying that, that you're not gonna have a bad day. Like, that's how I, that's how I deal with it.
Sara D.:You heard it here. Jay Collier said, "F you life and struggle. Keep going."
Jay Collier:Yeah. I mean, that's, that's, that's what works for me.
Sara D.:That is, that is, you can't... It doesn't matter who gives up on you, you can't give up on yourself.
Jay Collier:Yeah. You have to, like, personify th- the, the bad version of life for yourself and just hate that guy or hate that girl or them. Like, that's my opp. The bad version of me is the opps.
Sara D.:I just imagine, like, talking to yourself like, I don't know, just disrespecting, like, the bad version of yourself. Like, "You little dummy. Like, you can't be doing that stuff." Like, I
Jay Collier:Yeah.
Sara D.:never think. You gotta make better decisions." Like,
Jay Collier:Low-key. Low-key, that's, that's, that's kind of, like, what introspection looks like for me.
Sara D.:But, uh, that's... so funny because it's a way to, to separate that darkness from yourself because while there may be darkness inside of you, that doesn't encapsulate who you are. It just something that's in your brain that's having a moment, and if you can remove that from yourself, then I could definitely see how it'd be beneficial.
Jay Collier:Yeah, I hate that guy. He sucks.
Sara D.:This has been a really nice conversation. Like, you're such a cool dude. I knew you were a cool dude when I met you, and you're still a cool dude now.
Jay Collier:I appreciate it.
Sara D.:What would you hope that others take away from this episode with you?
Jay Collier:Mm. I would hope that o-other people can hear that, um... I mean, one, you don't have to take this therapy stuff so seriously. It is a very serious subject, uh, but you can, you can joke around with yourself and life, um, and have fun with your journey towards happiness. And also that, there just can't be an I-quit attitude in your life. You have to show up relentlessly for yourself, because truly no one else is going to. And so I hope that people can hear that, someone else who was going through it found a way, and that way was just in a choice, to be happy, as simple as it sounds. You, you can, you can just choose to be happy.
Sara D.:All righty, you guys. Jay said it best, you can choose to be happy. You just gotta learn what it looks like for you. This has been a great episode. I wanna thank you so much. I don't know if I told you at the beginning, I can't remember, but I just wanna thank you so much for talking to me, 'cause I know we haven't talked in a while. And yeah, I'm just so glad. And yes, and I do wanna ask you, is there anything that you would like to promote or share or anything like that?
Jay Collier:I just, I just like revamped and relaunched my website. Uh, so yeah, if you need photography needs of any sort in the, uh, DMV or greater beyond area, jwestco.com. Hit me up. Go to the contact page and talk to me. I'm a, I'm a awkward but cool guy.
Sara D.:Oh man, the DMV, so you're not in New York anymore. Really living life!
Jay Collier:Yeah, yeah, I'm in DC. Uh, but you know, I'm, I'm around. I'm around everywhere.
Sara D.:That's good. That's good. Yeah. Everybody definitely check out Jay. He's an amazing photographer. He took some great pictures of my wife, and we still look at them now like, "Oh, this is so nice." And he is just very accommodating. So if you're looking for a good photographer that'll give you great poses and just a wonderful experience overall, call Jay. Um, I'll put his Instagram and his website in the description. And yeah, so this has been a great episode. I thank you all very much for listening. Write me, let me know what does your inner voice feel like when you're fighting these negative thoughts? How are you encouraging yourself, or how do you encourage yourself, period? I can be found at my email, ask4brighterdaze@gmail.com, and the daze is D-A-Z-E. And I also have a Instagram and a Twitter and a TikTok, uh, brighterdayspodcast, and I also have a Facebook, BrighterDaze with Sara. yeah, so if you wanna find me, I'm easily found, and I just... I'm around and I hope that you will be too. So have a nice day, everybody. Talk to you later.