Arranged Marriage Disaster

In this episode of Red Flags & Redemption Podcast, we sit down with Angel Fuedo, Fitness Coach and Nutritionist, as she shares her powerful journey of breaking free from the control and limitations that shaped her childhood.

Through years of searching for acceptance and worth, Angel discovered that true transformation isn’t just physical—it’s deeply personal and spiritual. She opens up about overcoming unhealthy patterns, finding her voice, embracing her God-given value, and creating a life marked by freedom, confidence, and purpose.

If you’ve ever struggled with feeling unseen, controlled, or not enough, Angel’s story will remind you that healing is possible, your past does not define you, and your true worth has been there all along.

This is a conversation about identity, healing, and redemption you won’t want to miss.

https://youtube.com/@redflagsandredemption?si=Owf7-cEkGQaB3yVW

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I did not want to be saved. I tried to take my own life. I woke up in a hospital room and I will never forget this. The nurse said, What did you do? And I said, Why did you save me? Just knowing the life that I was stuck in, and my only option is to marry an arrangement marriage. So I got to a point where I had no freedom at all. I would do what they said because I was so afraid. They kept showing me suitors. We had suitors come to our house a lot, and I just kept trying to fight it. I cried myself to sleep a lot of night. I see my reflection in the mirror, and I hear a voice saying, This is not the life that you should be living.

SPEAKER_02 0:35

How did God begin to restore the years that you felt like had been stolen from you?

SPEAKER_00 0:40

Everything changed. Everything.

SPEAKER_02 0:45

Welcome to Red Flags and Redemption. I'm Christine Cooper. Throughout my life, I've been a pastor, teacher, mom of two, public speaker, and today your host. But more than titles, I'm someone who has walked through real life, real relationships, real trauma, real healing, and has seen firsthand how God always redeems what once felt broken beyond repair. Joel 222 states, he will restore the years the locust has eaten. Our God is an abundant God. Our God is a restorative God. Our God is a faithful father. So I am so excited to be in the studio today with my good friend Angel Fudo. And she is a postpartum fitness coach and nutritionist. And you are literally saving lives out there. You are changing so many women's lives. And I'm so inspired by you. But when I first met you, I first of all loved it because you have this beautiful Australian accent. And uh immediately I knew that we were sisters. You are like my sister from another Mr. And I've just been really inspired by your life and excited to hear from you today. I know in a minute you're gonna take us through a little fitness routine, but uh talk about us meeting.

SPEAKER_00 2:04

Um, so yeah, when I first met you, when I walked in the room, you immediately dominated the room. And I was like, who is this woman? I need to be friends with her right away. Like I just knew you had this energy to you. Um you were a leader, and I was I'm just drawn to that sort of energy always.

SPEAKER_02 2:22

Which is why we are here today, because I feel like you know, we're sharpening each other, we're making each other better. But I'm so excited to hear your story today. But you do want to like kind of strength train the moms today.

SPEAKER_00 2:35

So, what are we gonna do? Yeah, so for a lot of my clients, um, getting out of the house is like the biggest issue, especially postpartum. So we've got some bands. Okay. I'm gonna put you through a little upper body routine. You can literally do sitting on the couch. So you're gonna bring the band out in front of you, and we're just going to go up. Should I move? Yep, there we go. And then down.

SPEAKER_02 3:00

And what are we strengthening here?

SPEAKER_00 3:02

So right now it's really fun. Like I've been having so much fun. So this is this is a warm-up, but you could feel this in your shoulders, your biceps, your triceps. So it's a warm-up. It's really good for your rotator cuff as well because we're lunaticing the joint. Should we be doing this? We're gonna do it, but one more. Do you feel the burn? Yeah, I can feel it. I can feel it. So now I'm gonna get you to pop one hand on your shoulder. Yeah, right. Yep. Okay, and then you're going to bring the hand down, yeah. Like that. So good. Where we're doing a little track that we're gonna do.

SPEAKER_01 3:32

Wow. So, but if somebody was doing this at home, how long should they do of it? I would do three sets of ten.

SPEAKER_00 3:38

Okay and then at the end, give it a pulse. Oh, I like the pulses. There we go. The pulses. Well, you really feel the burden. There's so much you can do with a mini-band. I'm gonna do the other side, balance it out. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 3:49

We don't want to be like uh imbalanced, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:51

So okay they're popping your hand on your shoulder and then you're extending your tricep.

SPEAKER_02 3:56

Okay, wow. Oh, wait, I've been doing it wrong. I've been doing it wrong. This is why you're here, right? You're supposed to be here.

SPEAKER_00 4:03

Put your hand back to your shoulder. This? Yep. And then exactly. Okay. And pulse it. Pulse 10. Okay. Pulse. Nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. Come on. Yes. I love it. I love it. You do three sets of ten and then you do a pulse at each one, you'll feel it the next one. Wow, I feel it right now.

SPEAKER_02 4:25

But hopefully, I like it. I'm gonna tell you this. Something that I love is when you do that workout. And actually, we're doing a workout with you tomorrow, some of the girls.

SPEAKER_00 4:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:34

And um, a little little training session. I like it when you feel it the next day. Like, what is that a sign of? What's the next day?

SPEAKER_00 4:41

Um, delayed onset muscle soreness, so DOMS. Um, you know, now with research, feeling that soreness every time is not really healthy. We don't want you to be that sore every time. Okay. Um, but obviously the first week of your training, you're going to feel that. Okay. You're gonna feel that. But as you get into strength training, as you build muscle, the painfulness, you'll still have it, but it's not as bad. Okay, that's inflammation. So that's the muscles tearing, and then the inflammation from it tearing, and then that's when the protein comes in.

SPEAKER_01 5:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 5:12

Um, repairing it.

SPEAKER_01 5:13

So you don't want to feel that all the time. You don't want to feel all the time. It's good sometimes. It's bad.

SPEAKER_00 5:17

Everybody is so addicted to that pain and they think that's the result, but it's it really isn't. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 5:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 5:23

It's not good to be that inflamed by the time.

SPEAKER_02 5:26

That means so much today. Everybody needed to learn this. Um, so that actually, I'm gonna move, I'm gonna turn this around. Okay. I'm gonna skip around a little bit. So, actually, from there, let's just go into what you're actually doing as a fitness coach and nutritionist. What is it that you've been doing with that?

SPEAKER_00 5:46

Okay, so I help moms lose the baby weight without giving up the foods they love and without spending hours in the gym. I built my business based on my own journey. I've lost 60 pounds over the last two years. Yeah, didn't not give up chocolate, did not give up date nights, did not give up pizza. Um, I I teach moms sustainable methods so they could apply these um methods to their life so they can continue doing them throughout life, and it's not just a 30-day program.

SPEAKER_02 6:17

Right. And I uh I'm really uh motivated by that because I do notice that I've never been a big dieter, but I do know people that have dieted throughout their life, and it seems like so many times people go on a diet. Yes, and then the minute they're off the diet, all of that, I remember back in the day, the whole keto thing. And then the mineral battery, you get or or even some of the like the the gastric surgery that if you don't really watch it, and then you end up gaining that weight back. So I think what I like hearing you say is this is sustainable and you still get to eat some of the things that you love.

SPEAKER_00 6:54

Yeah. So I don't tell, I don't do diets, I don't teach, I don't tell people what to eat. Yeah, I teach them the quantity of the macros. So how much protein, fats, and carbs they need to eat to hit their goals and sustain their goals.

SPEAKER_02 7:08

Wow, very good, very good. And you talked about the app.

SPEAKER_00 7:11

Yes, so I have an app, it's all online. Yeah, so good. Um, all the rec um workouts are pre-recorded by me. Okay. And um, they're all mommy friendly. I've seen that. They're still good. We have an at-home version and we have a gym version for our moms that do like to go to the gym. Like myself, I like to go to the gym. Now that my kids are a little bit older, I can actually leave them and go back in a workout in here.

SPEAKER_02 7:35

Nice. Uh, to all of our kids getting there. So I'm gonna backtrack a little bit and I wanna start at the beginning because this is your present day, what you're doing, grinding. But let's go back to, you know, we're here, we're, you know, speaking about our journeys, about healing. Go back to your origin story because I know this is all gonna lead up to what you are really doing now.

SPEAKER_00 8:00

So I was born in Turkey. I moved to Australia when I was nine months old with my mom. My mom was actually arranged marriage at 16. Oh. So yeah. So she barely knew my dad. My dad was from Australia, but he was Turkish. And that's the way they think they did things back then, you know. If you were, if it was time to get married, you go to Turkey, you go to your village, your hometown, and you find a wife and you bring her back. So my mom has a lot of friends in in the same town in Sydney, and they're the same story up on marriage. And you know, I grew up with my, you know, we call each other cousins, even though we're not really related.

SPEAKER_02 8:38

Well, that's what everybody in me does. Everybody's your cousin.

SPEAKER_00 8:41

Yeah. Yeah. So we um my mom gets married, we moved to Australia. I'm nine months when we're when we're in Australia. Um, my dad kind of left the picture. Um, I have a brother as well. He kind of left the picture when I was like three, three years old. Wow. He kind of was like, you know what? My parents forced me into this marriage. I don't want to do this. He had a whole nother life, another girlfriend. No way. So this your mom's only like 22 at this point. She's 17. Oh, 17.

SPEAKER_02 9:11

That he had already out.

SPEAKER_00 9:13

She told me that they changed her age in Turkey so she was able to go to Australia to make her 18. Okay. Yeah, but she hadn't turned 18 yet. So she's in Australia, doesn't know the language, doesn't have anybody there. Her whole family's in Turkey, and she's living with her in-laws, and her husband's nowhere to be found because he supposedly has a remote job. That's wild. He's just yeah, he's just out doing his own thing.

SPEAKER_02 9:42

Which actually, I can't even tell you how many friends that I have that have these similar stories of the dad was living a whole nother life and had a whole other family. This is more common than I think people even realize.

SPEAKER_00 9:58

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So my mom, as soon as she realized what was going on, she left my dad. And for her, doing that, that was huge. Like it was an outrage in our culture. Like, divorce is so, so bad. So my parents, my family's Muslim. Um, they're not very religious, but they are traditional. Okay. So they still stick to their their tradition. Yeah, yeah. Um, you know, my mom has like long blonde hair and she dresses very nice. She's beautiful, but um, yeah, very cultural. Like you. Like you. Yeah, yeah. Very beautiful. Oh, thank you. Um, so yeah, I grew up without a dad. My stepdad um raised me. My mom meets my stepdad, and my stepdad is also Turkish and also very traditional. So I had a very strict um upbringing. I wasn't allowed to talk to boys, no Facebook. Like dating was not a thing. Like, oh, we don't even say dating in our house back then, anyway. Um, so when I was always a little bit of a rebel. Always. I had because there was the life that my family wanted for me. And I would do what they said because I was so afraid. Um, there was harsh consequences if we didn't follow the rules. And um, I would do what they say, but at school, I was like a total different person. I was like this bubbly loud. I am, I was who I am. Right, who you really are. I think who I really am now is um really blossomed because I have the freedom to be who I am. Over there, I was just like so suppressed. So um in my senior year, I um meet this guy in school. I have a boyfriend, and my family find out. And it was, it was like traumatic the way they found out. Um he wanted to go out for Valentine's Day, and like I can't go out at night. So I begged and begged, and I was able to get out of the house to say I'm going to the movies with my my high school friends, my girlfriends, and we get a phone call when we're at this bowling alley. It was a group of us. We're at this bowling alley. She's really with a group. I'm with a group. It's not one-on-one. Yeah. You weren't doing anything terribly bad. You weren't ropping, nothing like that. I was literally at a bowling alley with a group of friends. Like things that were normal to everybody else was like, I can't believe you did that. Yeah. I can't believe you disgraced our family name by doing that. Like you've been seen with a boy, you were in his car. Like Oh man. Yeah. So we get a phone call. My parents are looking for me, and my heart sinks. Oh, by the way. It was like one of the scariest days of my life. I'm not gonna lie. My heart sinks, and I'm like, you need to take me to the theater right now. Because my parents are probably walking in and out of every room looking for me. And we he drives me there, and like from the city to my hometown, it's about an hour, and we got there in 20 minutes. No way. He was afraid for me too. Yeah, we got there in 20 minutes. He drops me off. As soon as I get out of the car, I see my stepdad's lights, and he sees everything. He gave me a stop. He sees me getting out of the car. Oh no. So I can't even say I was in, but I got caught red-handed. When I got home, I got the beating of my life. It was from your stepdad. From my stepdad. Yeah. Um, my mom and my brother like intervened. My brother was like a year younger than me. I was, I was 17. Uh, my brother was 15. 15 and probably a little bit older. Um, they tried to intervene and um It was not. He was he, my stepdad had this anger. When he saw red, nothing could stop him. And he beat me so bad to the point I passed anger. He was an angry man. Like I grew up with him throwing the VCR down the balcony because it wasn't working. We replaced so many V the remember the old VCR.

SPEAKER_01 13:45

Yeah, oh, I read the cassette. I grew up.

SPEAKER_02 13:48

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:49

So we were very afraid of him.

SPEAKER_02 13:51

And um Was he like this with your mom or just with you?

SPEAKER_00 13:54

No, it was just with me and my brother. He was never violent with my mom. Interesting. He would he would raise his voice, but he never laid her hand on her. Um, he did lay his hands on us a lot. So my brother, my brother is like completely traumatized by it. You know, there's always like two sides. You're right, you either grow from something or it brings you down completely. 1000%. Yeah, yeah. My brother went the other way.

SPEAKER_02 14:16

We learned what to do with our pain and our trauma, which is again why we're here today. I want to like pause for a moment because you've mentioned so many things that are really good to speak to. Yeah. Is that what happens to someone when they are so heavily controlled and disciplined by. So as a as a mother to older children now who are turning into adults, I really wanted to make sure that I had seen firsthand what happened when there was too strict of not from me, but from people I knew, too much discipline and too many boundaries, and children not being allowed to blossom and to be who they really are. What does that, how does that affect you as an individual that's growing up in that kind of household?

SPEAKER_00 15:07

Well, you definitely lose a big part of yourself. You lose a part of yourself, you you learn to shut that off. And um what ended up happening, you end up rebelling. Right. Or lying, I feel like, right?

SPEAKER_02 15:20

Like you are having to make up stories that you know will make them happy, but it's you're not telling the truth.

SPEAKER_00 15:28

So it forces you into this lying. Yeah, yeah. And you know what? I never liked lying. Like I've always been really anxious about lying. Yeah. So I gave I probably gave myself away that day when I was saying, Can I go to the movie with my friends? Because I'm not a good liar. There's so much anxiety around it. Yeah. So like not having to lie right now and just saying, telling, you know, my husband, I'm going to a podcast. I'm like, having to.

SPEAKER_01 15:55

This is great.

SPEAKER_00 15:56

This is amazing. The freedom behind it is amazing. Yeah, but you end up rebelling and you end up like going doing crazy things to get help or attention, really, really, yeah. So I grew up like that, pretty suppressed. Um, my stepdad made me not go to school anymore because he was like, no, when you go to school, you talk to boys, so it ruined my education. Um, I wasn't able to complete my education. Uh I had to pick a career, so I I picked hairdressing back then. I was like, at least let me pick, at least let me have some control. Yeah. So I picked hairdressing and um I I worked in a hairdressing salon for a while. And it's a parent, it's beautiful. Yeah, yeah, it helps, it helps. Um, and then I think till about 26 I I obeyed, I lived in and obeyed the way they wanted me to live. Till about 26, they tried to arrange my marriage.

SPEAKER_02 16:52

Oh no. So yeah, so like my first not happening.

SPEAKER_00 16:56

Yeah, the first time it happened was right after the whole boyfriend beating situation. They were like, we're shipping you to Turkey, we're gonna find you a husband. Like, that's that's your punishment. You're getting married. So I went to Turkey and I actually got engaged.

SPEAKER_01 17:09

No way.

SPEAKER_00 17:09

Because they kept somebody that they had arranged. Well, so I wanted to be able to control it, so they kept showing me suitors. Okay, and like I didn't like any of them. And then I met this guy literally at a phone shop when I went to buy a SIM card. Because you need to go buy a new SIM card. And um, he started texting me because he had my number, and I was like, look, if it's gonna be anyone, it's gonna be someone I choose, and he seems cool. So I chose It's a little flex of your will. Yeah, it is. It's like the desperation, you know, you do these crazy things. I was just so desperate, and he seemed like the safest option at the time. So I said yes to this engagement. I wore this big gown and they had this traditional, like, they come ask for your hand. And I went back to Australia and I thought, oh my god, what have I done? So I like bailed. They call it the bailing when you go back.

SPEAKER_02 17:56

And it happens, it's common. I like what you just said that I think this is such a lesson for people to hear and to walk away with that when you're desperate, sometimes you make decisions that are not in your right mind or your best interest. And we've done a couple episodes, we've talked about dating, we've talked, yeah, we know we're now we're talking about how do we navigate seasons in life, but we cannot operate or navigate out of desperation because that always leads us down a really bad path, a dark path.

SPEAKER_00 18:28

Yeah, yeah. So I made a made mistakes, definitely. Um, yeah, they kept showing me suitors. We had suitors come to our house a lot, and I just I kept trying to fight it and fight it. Yeah. I ended up working for the family business, so it got to a point where I had no freedom at all. I had no chance to even meet a guy to like date.

SPEAKER_02 18:50

You were just working more children.

SPEAKER_00 18:51

I'm working for my family. Yeah, I work with my stepdad, so I can't talk to any any guys. Um, I can't go out. Like I never go out, so I'm like trapped. So uh it got to a point where I actually tried to take my own life.

SPEAKER_02 19:05

Like I old were you at this point?

SPEAKER_00 19:07

I think 23. 23. I tried to take my own life, and um, I woke up in a hospital room and I will never forget this. The nurse said, What did you do? And I said, Why did you save me? I was like, I did not want to be saved.

SPEAKER_02 19:22

What were the thoughts going through your mind before you tried to take your life?

SPEAKER_00 19:26

The thoughts were um, I cried myself to sleep a lot of nights. I did. I cried myself to sleep because um imagine the life that I could have had and that I wanted to have, but that life was just so far away from me. And just knowing the life that I was stuck in, and my only option is to marry, like an arranged marriage, and then like I didn't want to end up with someone like my stepdad. Right. I didn't want to end up with a strict man like that that didn't allow um a woman to speak or have freedom, you know. I didn't want that for me. I wanted I I knew I had more. I knew there was always a nudge in me. I had I knew I had more to offer this world.

SPEAKER_02 20:04

So you did, you do have more. Obviously, you've seen that you've that's come to fruition with what you're doing now, and you have so much more to tell us about how far God has brought you. But you you mentioned you're crying yourself to sleep, yeah, and you're thinking this is no option for me. There's no option. And how many people do you think that are watching right now that would are have grown up and grew up in a house where really maybe nobody the outside world didn't know the hell that they're living in, the things that they're being subjected to, and they feel like there's no way out, they have no choice. How many people actually do you think that is their story that they've endured?

SPEAKER_00 20:54

I know there's a lot. I know a lot of my friends got arranged marriage. They did it. I'm not saying they're not happy, but I know, like I don't know what's going on. On the outside, I looked happy. Yeah, that's the thing. Right. If you looked at me on the outside, you would say, Oh, she drives a nice car, they have a nice house, she's invested in property. Yeah. What is she up? Why is she trying to kill herself? Yeah. What is she upset about? She's just spoiled. Wow. But little do they know. Yes, the fear, the fear of being who I want to be, the fear of saying, Hey, I want, I want a career, I want to chase after my dreams, I want to travel the world. Like I would say, I want to travel. No, you can travel when you get married. You can do that with your husband. Or I want to go, I want to go to this restaurant, you can do that with us or your husband.

SPEAKER_02 21:42

So feeling like you really didn't have any options, so the the the the better choice was just to end it. Just to end it all. You wake up in this hospital room and through this journey, you somehow you do encounter and you find Jesus. Yes. So how did that happen?

SPEAKER_00 22:00

So um after that, after that, I said, okay, I've done it all, right? I've literally tried to take my own life. Right, right. What's the worst that could happen? Yeah. What is like the worst that can happen from this? I've done the worst. So I said, you know what? Why don't I try and get my life back? Okay. Let's try it. Like that voice in your head. Like, just try. Just try. I've got you. And that's that's God speaking to you. Yeah, that's that's God speaking because he gave me strength. And um, I the first thing I did was get a job away from my family, another job. I said, you know, the rebelling started, you know. I start I wanted to work somewhere else. I started working at this clothing store, which was so fun. I got to talk to boys, I got to dress up, I got to make friends like outside of my family and like meet people. And that gave me some confidence. That gave me a lot of confidence. And then it got to a point where I was acting out so much that my stepdad was like, right, I'm gonna put my foot down. This is not good. You were still living at their house. I was still living at their house. So in my culture, you do not leave until you get married. Okay. Yeah. My mum would say there was a saying, you either leave, you leave in white. It's either your wedding dress or the white wrapping they wrap you in. Yeah, literally. That's the only thing.

SPEAKER_02 23:17

This would be Australian or Turkish.

SPEAKER_00 23:18

This is Turkish culture, yeah. Yeah. Um, so yeah, so my stepdad tried to lay his hands on me again, and that was a point where I just said, you know what, I'm not doing this again. And my mom actually supported me. I packed a little suitcase and I just turned around, and with I don't know, the grace of God and um friends, I was able to like move out and like live with um some friends. Yeah, with some friends for a bit. Friends helped me out. I did like shared living for a bit. But you know, every time you're gonna hit a breakthrough, the devil is always going to be. Yeah, he's going to try and bring you down. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:56

And I didn't When you try to get free, that the enemy. Yeah. I think when you try to get free, you try to rewrite your legacy. Yeah. You try to break generational curses. This is when the enemy is angry. When you're suppressed and you're accepting or trying to take your life, the enemy's fine. But when you have drawn the line in the sand and said, you know, I choose to live with purpose. I choose to walk a different path than what I've seen generationally. Man, the devil is mad. So what is what happens?

SPEAKER_00 24:30

So what happened was um I lost my job. My stepdad literally sent these guys into my work. Oh no. These tattooed guys, and like threaten my boss and threaten my colleagues, trying to find because they they moved to my location and they kind of said, We fired her, she's gone, but I wasn't. So my stepdad was like trying to really suppress me to the point where I have to go back home. Like if I lose my job, I have no source of income. Um, the house that I was living in, I don't know what happened there, but the guy that owned the house was trying to move in with me, and I was like, You said this was an all-girls house. Yeah, and I was like, No, no, no, we're not doing this. So I found I was homeless again. So I moved in with my auntie, who took me in at the time, and my mom came and she said, Look, you know, you've tried, it's not working. Let's just take you to Turkey and get you married.

SPEAKER_02 25:23

And I was like, Now we're back to square one.

SPEAKER_00 25:25

We're back to square one, and I was like, fine, fine, I give up. Like, I'm just exhausted. Yeah, I'm exhausted. I'm like, fine, just take me to Turkey, let's just get married. It's better than living with my stepdad, really. And then we um, so I'm like going out with friends now because this is my last hurrah. I'm going out with friends, we're drinking, we're having a great time, and then I meet this Australian guy. Okay. And he's tall. Yeah, for Australian men, by the way, like Jesus. Not really though. Wait till I tell you the rest. I mean, in theory, he was perfect. He ticked all the right.

SPEAKER_02 26:02

Why are they so tall?

SPEAKER_00 26:03

So tall, handsome, built, he knew how to dance. He swept me off my feet. We get some Australians like in South Florida. We need some, we need some. Um, he sweeps me off my feet. I tell him my story in this one night. He's from Darwin. He's not even from Sydney, he's visiting. Okay. He goes back to Darwin and then he calls me a week later and he says, you know, I can't stop thinking about you. I think you should come to Darwin and be with me. I will come ask for your hand in marriage if it gets your parents off your back. Like, I want to be serious with you. Okay. You're the girl of my dreams. Everything I want to hear.

SPEAKER_02 26:38

And you are my club line and sinker. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:41

You are the man and you seem like your escape, right? He was my escape. And I was like, oh yes, thank you, God. I don't have to go to Turkey and get married. Yeah. I'm gonna go to Darwin and like, you know, against all odds, you know, my stepdad did not come to that engagement party. He was like, I'm not coming. Um, he actually forbade some family members from coming. Wow. But my mom came and we had an engagement, and I moved to Darwin. My life is perfect for three months. And then his true colors come out, and I find out yeah, he gets like, I find out that he's actually a drug addict.

SPEAKER_01 27:15

Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 27:16

Yeah. So he for the for three months he was trying really hard to like hide that that was that he had a problem. Yeah. He had money, so I didn't know.

SPEAKER_02 27:25

No question. Yeah. Question, because we know what this podcast is dedicated to. Did you see the red flags? Oh, yeah. I did not the night you met him or from the beginning when you had already moved in with him.

SPEAKER_00 27:39

Did you see the I saw the red flags um the first week I moved in with him, but I didn't want to see it.

SPEAKER_02 27:45

I saw it didn't happen. Yeah, you don't want to see them.

SPEAKER_00 27:47

Um, one of the girls, because we lived with a a group of people. It was like a shared house. Yeah. There was another couple, and one of the girls that lived in the house said, Let's go out. We went out, and he was like, Yeah, go out, go have fun, you know, have a girl's night. We're having a boys' night. Yeah. And he like made me feel really, really bad about it later. He was like, you know, violently angry about it.

SPEAKER_02 28:08

About you going out with him. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:09

He was like, I can't believe you went.

SPEAKER_02 28:10

And you're like, this is strange.

SPEAKER_00 28:12

Like, who are you? What happened? Like, yeah, you're meant to be my hero. You're meant to be my knight in shining armor, and now you are like, you are actually worse than my stepdad. And it's like, there's another saying in Turkish, when you run away from the rain, you're gonna run straight into the hail. Yeah. And that's exactly what he was. So he every time I tried to leave him or gave him an ultimatum, he would lay his hands on me. He would get violent. He would, like, you know, grab me by the back.

SPEAKER_02 28:40

Now there's also triggers because this is what happened in the past. And you thought this was your escape, and now it's even worse than even worse.

SPEAKER_00 28:50

And the worst part is I don't want to leave because I don't want my parents to be like, we told you this though. Right. You didn't want to prove them, right? And when we told you that this would happen if you left the house, if you went off with a matter of pride almost. It was a matter of pride, and I stuck around for as long as I did because of my pride, and I knew that that wasn't the life for me, and I knew myself-worth. At the beginning, did I think I know it? No, I thought I deserved that life. I did think I deserve it. Um, it got to a point where God spoke to me again. He did. And this time I I saw him speak to me. So um, we're in Queensland now. I'm because I moved to the Gold Coast to get away from him and he followed me there. Oh, like, oh, you know, I'm gonna clean up. I don't have my friends here, you know, I'll be sober around you. But you know, a junkie will always be a junkie no matter where he is. He found another source and another way. And, you know, it got to a point where he got my car impounded, he would take my jewelry, steal my jewelry, all our furniture would get stolen. He's just pawning off all this stuff so he can get his fix while I'm at work working for trying to get our feedback.

SPEAKER_02 30:03

So now you're stuck in a really bad state. And how are he's followed you?

SPEAKER_00 30:09

How are you gonna get free from this? Exactly. And um, so the worst thing happened. The worst thing that could happen to wake me up is I got pregnant. Oh, of course.

SPEAKER_02 30:20

Yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_00 30:21

Of course. So I'm just like at this point where I'm like miserable and I'm like, this guy just sucks. I need to get away from him. And you know, in the beginning of our relationship, we we were but when it was good, we were like, let's have kids because I was so desperate to be a mom. I really wanted to be a mom. I raised my younger brother and sister, my half siblings. Yeah, I love taking care of kids, and you know, I really wanted to be a mom, but it never happened, and I just thought maybe I can't conceive.

SPEAKER_02 30:47

And I'm gonna speak to that. That I think what you were really searching for, you were just searching for a family. Yeah. And and uh a normal family, what you thought would and so you're like, let me do this on my own. I can have a normal family, and that's what you were really yearning for. Yeah, yeah. So that could be even why you may have rushed into wanting it.

SPEAKER_00 31:08

Exactly. And um, I found out I was pregnant the same day my friend calls me. She's like gone to my house to pick up something while I was at work, and he's made a puff at her. And I'm like, and I'm like, you know, I wanted to leave anyway. You've just validated that for me. Like, I told him, like, today we actually found out that I'm pregnant, and he's still trying to hook up with my friend. Like, this guy is he's just crap. Yeah, I just need to get out.

SPEAKER_02 31:35

And it was all this addiction and cycles of addiction in his life. And I've heard these kind of stories before of like people marrying someone and then months later finding out they aren't at it. Yeah, whatever addiction looks like, and and so what happens next?

SPEAKER_00 31:55

So I'm I pack my bags and I'm like, I'm done, I'm ready to leave. I pack my bags and he gets really, really, really violent. He's like, he's a strong guy too. He literally pulled a sink out of the bathroom and he's destroying this apartment. And I'm thinking, oh gosh, I'm losing my bonds for sure. It took me months to save for that. Yeah, yeah. That's what we call it, the bond here. And um, he's like, he's like, you know, trying to pin me on the bed, trying to not let me leave. So I call the police. I call the police, I'm like, that's it, I've had it, you know. I've lost everything. I've lost everything, and I just need you gone. So I call the police and they're on their way. I'm on the side of the road, there's this highway, and he comes down, he's like, you know, bullying me. He pushes me onto the side of the road and literally spits on me. And that I think in that moment I was like, okay, there is no coming back from this. He runs away when he sees the police. I go back upstairs and I'm like crying. And I'm as I'm crying, I'm sitting on the edge of the bed. I see my reflection in the mirror, and I hear a voice saying, This is not the life that you should be living.

SPEAKER_02 33:06

And why do you think he spit on you?

SPEAKER_00 33:09

Um, because I was leaving and I called the police and they heard me on the phone.

SPEAKER_02 33:13

The value, like the let me give the last little punch, like let me devalue you in a way that you just see that you are worth nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:24

Wow. Yeah, wow. And um, yeah, but I I look at myself in the mirror and I see like I see a darkness in my face, but I see hope as well. So I'm like, you know. You know, the the quote, the um, even in the deepest waters, I will be with you. Yeah, that's that's where that hits me. Um, he was there with me in the darkest moment of my life, and he pulled me out into the light. I um I went and stayed with a friend for a few months, and you know, still I was like losing hope a little bit. Like, should I go back home to Sydney? Like, should I cave? And I said, No, I'm going to do this. I'm gonna make this work. I stayed on the Gold Coast, I saved a lot of money. I've been to the Gold Coast. It's amazing. It's not a bad place to stay. No, that's why I wanted to stay there. It's so beautiful. But yeah, I like I found myself again and I found my peace and my freedom, and I was able to travel and I got a job and was on my feet again. Like, I think for the first time in my life, I was actually on my feet.

SPEAKER_02 34:29

Yeah, yeah. And uh this there's a saying that I love that when everything falls apart, it's so often for it to come together in a beautiful way. And I know as Christ followers that we get to see those those patterns of it's like life and death and then resurrection. And you it's like everything had been stripped, but you begin to see God beginning to restore and to resurrect those dead things inside of you. So um, but let's speak to um how did God begin to restore the years that you felt like had been stolen from you? You're starting to make a life, and how did God begin to restore those years?

SPEAKER_00 35:12

So um when I went to Europe, I actually I visited a lot of cathedrals. Yeah. And like I I don't know, I was always drawn to them. Yeah. So I visited a lot of cathedrals and um I traveled a lot and I felt like wow, I couldn't, I can't believe that this is my life right now. Like this is my reality that I get to travel. Um I went to therapy. Um for therapy. Yeah. Thank you, Jesus. Um, I told you earlier that in Australia, um, when you go through domestic violence, there's a program, it's a mental health program, and for 12 years, you can get um free therapy. Yeah, so I definitely took advantage of that. My therapist gave me the serenity prayer. Okay. And that helped me a lot. Say that for us.

SPEAKER_02 35:58

What is it? I I know it because I know in in uh I believe in AA they say it.

SPEAKER_00 36:03

Yeah, I'm trying to remember. God grant me the serenity. Yeah, very good. And I would go for walks and recovered from my anxiety, literally saying that that prayer and that serenity prayer. So I really felt God touching and like his hands over me in this time. Um how did he redeem me? So um I met my husband when I was traveling to the United States. So I came to the United States. It was actually a sad story the way I met my husband.

SPEAKER_02 36:40

So you start your life over, you're traveling. I'm traveling. You're going to the cathedrals. Is there a specific moment where you encounter Jesus? I know you mentioned you had heard his voice. Yeah. Was there one specific moment or you just already knew he was there with you?

SPEAKER_00 36:55

Yeah, so like growing up with as a Muslim with Islam, um I never really called myself a religious person. I was um agnostic. So I believe in God, but I don't believe in religion.

SPEAKER_02 37:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 37:08

So I would pray to God all the time. So I always believed in the presence of God, but I never really leaned into it. Right. I really found Jesus in Miami. Once everything was better, I felt like we were going through a dark patch in my marriage and things were rough again for us with my husband's job, and we were living apart from each other. That's when I found Jesus. I my neighbors came to my house and they prayed over me, and I felt the Holy Spirit come in. Amen. And literally, because she said, Be gone, like evil spirit, leave this house, and I felt him leave. I really felt him leave. So that's when I found Jesus. I came to Miami after that, and I said to my husband, you know what? My whole life, God has been so faithful to me. Amen. He has every time goosebumps. Yeah, every time I fell into the pits of the pits, he pulled me out. Every time, but every time he pulled me out, I said, Thank you, God, I'll be back again when I need you. I'm not doing this. It was very transactional. Yeah, I'm not doing that this time. I'm leaning into God this time. And I've read every single self-help book under the sun. I I felt like I was like, I've had it to I've got it together. I know who I am. Not until I read the Bible.

SPEAKER_02 38:24

And I I I will say this. I think so many people, I'm I'm not anyone to judge anyone, but I do believe that so many people live their lives in a way that when life gets hard, they are gonna call out to God and need God in those times. But in the day in and day out, it's not this surrender. And it's so apparent, Angel, that God had his hand on you from the time you were a little girl, yes, and he was watching over you. And I do thank God for the darkest times that drive us to him. But what really happened when you fully surrendered, accepted Jesus, and began to read the Bible? What begins to happen in your life?

SPEAKER_00 39:05

Everything changed, everything. My heart softened. Um, I forgave. I thought I've had forgiven everybody in my past, but I realized that no, I still had a little bit of anger and I had a little bit of um resent towards these people. Right. So I forgave them again and I prayed for them.

SPEAKER_02 39:25

Sometimes you gotta forgive every day. Yeah, and then you pray for them. I still pray for them.

SPEAKER_00 39:29

I still pray for the people that hurt me. And you know, these people hurt me a lot, but I still pray for them. I pray for my ex. I I hope that he has a good life and he's because you know, the drug addiction and that, that's all the devil's work.

SPEAKER_02 39:43

So I'm and it's through trauma. I I've learned that one thing that I can reframe and I can I'll never hold bitterness against anybody that's hurt me or or is unhealthy or even an addict because I recognize that at some point in their life, and probably as a child, there was trauma that happened and it led them to this. Now, do we have to take responsibility for our actions 1000%? But things lead us to often become and be bound or or held captive by addiction and things in our life. And so we can reframe the way that we view others and it helps us to forgive them. If I understand that psychologically, you're not well, you didn't treat me good because you it really hurt, then I have nothing but to forgive you. And I love it that you said I pray for him to this day. Yeah. Um, you know, we don't we pray for our enemies, but we pray for the people that we love and that we did once love. And so all of this actually really comes together to um a beautiful ending.

SPEAKER_01 40:50

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 40:51

And um, I I know you on a personal basis, and I know this beautiful family that you have. So catch us up to present day of everything that has happened and what you're doing and where you know that you're going.

SPEAKER_00 41:08

So, as you all know, I'm a mom of two. The cutest girls in the world. Yes, two beautiful girls. Um, I have a very loving husband that supports every single thing that I do. Amen. Amen. Amen. So he supports my online business. Like when I wanted to um quit in-person training and take my business online, he said, Go for it, babe. I've got your back. Yep. So um I'm living my dream. I am. I get to, I live in Miami. Come on, best city in the world. Yep. I literally do my checking calls by the pool sometimes with my laptop while tanning. So I I would say I have a really good life. I spend a lot of time in prayer. I volunteer um at my church now, which is something I've always wanted to do is give back to the community. So that's very like.

SPEAKER_02 41:56

And it fills you up every time to do it.

SPEAKER_00 41:58

I love it. I get very upset when I have to work on a Sunday. I'm like, but I love serving.

SPEAKER_02 42:04

Yeah. I yeah, yeah. We're I believe we're meant to pour ourselves out. And every time that we do, it just fills us up. I'm just so thankful for the opportunity to serve.

SPEAKER_00 42:14

Amen. Amen. Um, I host events in Miami now for my mom community. So um they're free events, so the moms can come out with their babies and work out. Your little goodie bags. Yes, yeah. We have the we have some really cool sponsors for our goodie bags. And so you're networking collaborators. I'm networking. I'm, you know, I'm doing my social media stuff to market my online business. And um, I'm also doing group fitness at various gyms as well. Yeah, I love it.

SPEAKER_02 42:45

So many things, but but God brought everything together for you to become the woman of God, the influencer, the mom, the wife, the sister, the friend that you are now. And Angel, first of all, I want to thank you for being in the studio today and for being so vulnerable, for sharing from your heart. Um, it's so clear that God has had his hand on your life that from the moment that you were born, that God knew that you were called, that you were set apart, that you are a masterpiece and he knew the power inside of you to influence and to change others' lives. And not just as a mom, but really as a fitness coach, as a nutritionist. And I'm just speaking this over you that your best years are ahead of you. Thank you. God's going to continue to grow you, enable you, prophesy through you. And um, the power of God, the power of the Holy Spirit is in you and on you to change and influence lives. So um, I know you've ministered to so many women and and maybe teenagers and those that are growing up and find themselves in similar situations today. But I want to end today with um one, I want you to tell us your Instagram so that everybody can go and follow you. Where can we find you?

SPEAKER_00 44:08

So it's um I am Angel Fudo. Um, so at I am Angel Fudo, and also you can find me on at Out of Movement Fitness. So that's the name of my business, Out of Movement.

SPEAKER_02 44:18

Okay, so if you're watching today, go follow. And I wanted to say a prayer. And so we're we always end the podcast with a prayer. So we want to pray for every single person that's watched this show today. So let's pray. Father God, Lord, we love you. We worship you, we thank you. God, we focus on your goodness. God, it's so evident that all the days of Angel's life, from the time, God, that she was born, you were watching over her. And I just pray that every single person listening today would know, God, that even in our darkest moments, even in our most desperate moments, there you are. God, if we don't know how things are going to work out, we know that when we get there, you'll still be there. You are a faithful father. And just as you watched over her, God, as you put every single piece of her life together, God, I pray that as people have heard this story, as they've seen how God has restored the years that the locust has eaten in Angel's life, I pray that their hearts, God, would be comforted, God, that they would be inspired, that they would fill the voice of the Holy Spirit saying, I have purpose for you. I have good things for you. I have promises over your life. You are here for a reason. And God, I just pray that you would begin to heal the depths of their heart, that you would heal their minds, every single trigger, God, that you would replace it, God, with peace. God, that you would lift every bit of anxiety and you would replace it with a new touch of your Holy Spirit. God, we jump into the river of life that you have in front of us. And God, we pray promises, we pray hope, we pray redemption, we pray restoration, and we pray freedom in the mighty name of Jesus. Thank you, Lord. We give you the glory, the honor, and the praise. Amen. If this conversation resonated with you, it would mean a lot to us if you could subscribe and follow wherever you get your podcast. This has been Red Flags and Redemption.