Red Flags & Redemption

Overcoming Grief

• Christine Cooper • Season 1 • Episode 8

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0:00 | 32:20

What do we do when someone we love is taken from us too soon?

In this heartfelt episode of Red Flags & Redemption, Aura shares how the sudden loss of her mother forever changed her life—and transformed her relationship with God. Through unimaginable grief, she discovered that even in our darkest moments, God is faithful, present, and near to the brokenhearted.

If you’ve ever experienced loss, questioned God’s plan, or wondered how to move forward after heartbreak, this conversation is a powerful reminder that we can always find God in the midst of the storm.

https://youtube.com/@redflagsandredemption?si=Owf7-cEkGQaB3yVW

SPEAKER_01

The doctor say, uh, she has a heart. There is nothing that we can do. God, why? Why did you let this happen? And you let all the bad people in the street. I don't want to go back. I think I have my place here. At first I was mad with God. Can you believe? I was mad with her. Never crossed my mind that she's gonna pass away someday. Pray to God and I say, please, I need you to be here with me. I feel so alone. I need to know that I'm not alone.

SPEAKER_00

What did that those types of grief continue to look like?

SPEAKER_01

She told me this exactly works. I don't know, but I have this feeling. I have to tell you this.

SPEAKER_00

Welcome to Red Flags and Redemption. I'm Christine Cooper. Throughout my life, I've been a pastor, teacher, mom of two, public speaker, and today your host. But more than titles, I have seen firsthand how God again and again redeems what once felt broken beyond repair. Joel 225, one of my favorite verses, states he will restore the years the locust has eaten. It is a powerful promise from the Bible where God offers to make up for times of devastating loss, implying that what's restored will be even better than before, bringing healing and joy after despair. Our God is an abundant God. Our God is a restorer of all things. So today I'm in the studio with Aura Caraz, who is one of my favorite people in the world. You're an aesthetician. You're just doing beautiful things with your life. And I, when I think of you, I think of how we first met. You were actually a student in one of my classes. And I actually taught your cousin before I taught you. But I remember seeing you from afar. I would see you guys talking. I was like, she's so beautiful. I have to get to know her. Little did I know that you would end up in my class. And uh I it's just been such an amazing opportunity to get to know you. I really believe this. I told you this earlier. God brings every single person into our life for a reason. It is.

SPEAKER_01

I remember when my cousin at first came home and she was like, Oh my god, guys, I have this beautiful t-shirt and she's amazing. She's so beautiful, she's a stylist. And then when I have the opportunity to be in your class, I was I came here and I said, Oh my gosh, you are totally right. Yes, she's so beautiful. And I have a great time in your class. I think I learned so much, and it was good to know you.

SPEAKER_00

And I know we're not supposed to have favorites or teachers' pets, but don't tell anybody else that was in the class. But you were always my favorite. I remember I always make you guys teach a lesson and you taught on Taylor Swift. And I was just blown away because you knew every single thing about her. But remember, we would always have these huge food parties. Yeah. Like, what were we eating? What were we eating?

SPEAKER_01

Eating empanadas, the arepas, and these beautiful uh great sauce. You like you really like them, right? I love the green sauce.

SPEAKER_00

We like more of the green sauce. And then I remember even one time somebody came in and they showed us how to make these um what are those little things with the cheese in the middle? The cheese in the middle. Um I can't think of what they're called. I they're remembering they wrap the dough around the cheese. And I think was oh, the tequeno? Tequeno. Yeah, you're sweating. It's like she would have to make like 600 tequenos in an hour. Anyways, we had a lot of fun. Yeah. I don't know how we didn't gain weight, but we're here today. And uh, I'm just so excited because you have a really unique story and you've walked through some heavy things in your life. And I think there are so many people that are watching today that are gonna really be able to heal and to grow and to relate to your story. So, one really cool part about it is that the beginning of your life, it started out actually as a miracle. Yeah. So tell us what that looked like.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I am a real miracle because my mom got married at a very young age. Actually, the age that I am today. That's 24 years old. Yeah, it is, it is really crazy. She was 24 when she got married with my dad. And then they try to get pregnant, and she has two miscarriage. And then she just stopped to look and have a baby, and she adopted my brother. I have an older brother. Um he was adopted, yeah. And then past 10 years, she got pregnant of me. And I was supposed to be a twin. But then she loved the other baby. And here you are. Here you are.

SPEAKER_00

I'm right here. You know what a testimony to people in their waiting seasons that I think sometimes for whatever reason God has us in a waiting season and he is fulfilling his promises, maybe not on our time, but he is doing miracles, he is doing beautiful things through that waiting season. And here you are. Yeah, I'm a gift to the world. Yeah. Yeah. So uh we want to talk about really uh a grief journey that you've you walked through, but you're still walking through. I I love it. You've mentioned that every day uh it sometimes it's different emotions, but let's start at the beginning of this. I know you were so special, you were such a promise and a gift to your mom. And what was the relationship like? What tell us about your childhood? Tell us about that relationship that you had with your mom.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I grew up um in Venezuela. Um Venezuela. Yeah, I go Venezuela with my mom and dad and my brother. I have a very special childhood. It was the best. My mom and my dad sometimes they overprotect me. But now I understand. In that moment I didn't understand why, right? But now I know.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

They were very protective with me and also with my brother. But it was a good, a good life. When I finished high school, we decided to move for another country. We immigrate for Colombia. We started living there with some of my mom family. And it was it was a good year. We lived in there, we were living there for two years.

SPEAKER_00

And how old were you around this time?

SPEAKER_01

17.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

It was 17.

SPEAKER_00

So, like already towards the end of high school. Yes.

SPEAKER_01

And I started working. Um, then my mom and dad, they stopped working. So I was the one that I bring all to the house with the one taking care of the family. Yeah, the whole family. And we were living in a house with two of my mom's sisters and his old, uh, his youngest brother. Okay. And uh with my dad and my brother, so we were like a lot of people in the house. A lot of people, yeah. And I my first job was uh babysitting. I remember he was a very This is my first job too. Yeah, I had a great time there. And then I started um with this world in the beauty. There was my first job on the in the spa. Okay. I started working in the spa in Colombia, and we I made all these courses and got all my license, my certificate in Colombia. And when it started 2021, the pandemic, the COVID, we all think we remember the COVID. It was oh my god, it was really crazy for us. In August, I remember my mom got hospitalized, uh, the hospital, um, for two weeks with COVID. It was very scared at that moment. But she got 12 so fast, she recovered like 100%. We came back home, she was washed, she got uh routine daily. And when starting October, my dad just decided to go back to Venezuela.

SPEAKER_00

With your brother, right? With my brother, he took my brother. Yeah, with her family.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and I was like, I don't want to go back to Venezuela, I have my job here, I think I think I have my place here. Yeah. And my mom decided to stay there with me. It was okay. Well, my dad go back. It was everything good. Just uh one day, a random day in December, I remember, December 14th, she just woke up and she was feeling sick, and she what she said is uh she was feeling some pain in his back. That was all that was. Right, nothing really allowed. Yeah. And she was like, Okay, go wake up to the aunt, I need to go to the hospital. And I went, I wake up my aunt, we take her to the hospital, and it was like every 40 minutes. We were dead. And then the doctor said, Oh, she has a heart attack, there is nothing that we can do.

SPEAKER_00

That was the worst feel in that moment.

SPEAKER_01

I was at first in shock. I remember me that just staring there, just right there in front of her. I was in her body. And I was, oh my god, what just happened? What it just happened? What is it? I I think in it never crossed my mind that she is gonna pass away someday. Of course. I think I in my mind was like, even though she's gonna be alive forever. Right, right. And then she's just not not longer with me. That was really hard. I remember I saw her for a while and then sit in the floor, and I was like, where is next? I remember my there there was my aunt and my cousin with me. We came home, I had to tell my dad that was the hardest part.

SPEAKER_00

How did your dad handle it?

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god. Well, he even now he's he's isn't recovered about it. They had been married and been Yeah, they had been together for a long time. My mom was his only girlfriend, and my dad was the only boyfriend that my mom had.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I can't even imagine.

SPEAKER_01

It was very hard. And they were the I think the next day they came. My dad and my brother came to Colombia and we prepared to go to the burial. Is that is that right? To the burial. And I remember I had an aunt right here in Miami. She was living here for a lot of years, like five years, and she called me. And she was like, I'm gonna borrow you with me to live in here in Miami. How did you feel when there was a lot of feelings in my mind? Were you excited? I was excited, I was scared, I was, oh my, I can't believe it. And then, okay, I wanna do it. And your dad chose not, he was with my right here. Start over again, a new country. Oh my gosh, that was really hard. Sure. Definitely the anxiety and the fear. Yeah, the anxiety at first, oh my gosh, it was so, so, so hard. But God was always always with me. Amen. Amen. Always, always with me. I remember at first I was mad with God. Can you believe? I was mad at God.

SPEAKER_00

With the situation with your mom.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, with my mom.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I was and they say, you know, there's these steps of grieving. Yeah. I've heard that shock is a step and then this like anger. And what how did you feel when you were going through and processing that shock and then it turns into anger?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I was at first was a shock. It was I can't believe it. But then when I came home and I didn't see her anymore there, I was like, oh my god, this is real. This is real. She's not I'm not gonna see her anymore. I don't wanna talk to her anymore. This is really hard, but saddened. Yeah, I was so down at first. And I remember me the next the next day. I was praying to sleep and I was wow god, why? Why did you let this happen? Why did you take her and you let all bad people in the street, yeah, like killers? Of course, yeah. Why you took her? She was a good woman, she was the kindest person that I ever met in my life. But I didn't at the end I was like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I know that you have the control of everything, you know that everything is happening, is happening for a reason.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

My thoughts are not your thoughts. Amen. So that's so good.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, so I know his ways are our ways, or not his ways, and our thoughts, his thoughts are not our thoughts, and that's where we have to come into alignment. It sounds like you had a moment where you're like, God forgive me because I want to honor you.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. And well, then he was always with me. And my trouble, I never had an airplane in my life.

SPEAKER_00

You had never been on the first Miami. Yeah, too.

SPEAKER_01

And this is your first airplane, my my first flight in my whole life. It was a mess. My flight.

SPEAKER_00

Are you nervous?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I was so nervous. I get laid in the airport. Oh my gosh, the flight almost left me. Oh my gosh, it was so crazy. But when I saw my aunts and my cousins there in the airport, it was it was very yeah, yeah. I cried so much that they know what it was like a homecoming. Yes, homecoming. Like a homecoming with them. Because I always with my uh that aunt was the closest to my mom. Okay, so we were always together in Venezuela. And she also has a daughter that this was your mom's sister, yeah. My mom's sister, yeah. And she has a daughter that is the same age as me. Yes, yeah, I love her, yeah. So we were always together. We went apart when she came here with her oldest daughter.

SPEAKER_00

So when your chance to like be like reunited, yes, exactly. Um, so I I know basically, you know, a lot has happened. You come to Miami and your life has changed drastically. Talk about what that looked like, but also while you're adapting to a new country, a new home, being with different family, it everything is new. You said you have all these emotions. So, but you're also still grieving. What did that, those steps of grief, continue to look like? And how did you process it with all the other new things that were happening?

SPEAKER_01

Well, it was very hard at first. I came in a new country, I didn't know anybody, um a new language that I never talk. So it was very hard being the street, you know, looking for a job. I decided to always uh for of course I have to work. So I at first I was like, I don't want to talk with anybody about it. Actually, this is the first time that I'm talking about it. Um they tried my family, I love my family. They were so amazing with me, supported to me. They try to talk to me because I'm so so shy. So I don't talk too much. And and they look at me sad, but I was at first I thought that I have to keep it to me. Yep, to me. I don't have to talk with anybody. I don't I don't like that the people look at me like weak.

SPEAKER_00

Like j judging you. Yeah, they know now you're vulnerable, you've exposed yourself, and now they think that you're weak.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, exactly. But it's really good. Yeah, but then I realized I I don't have to be strong the whole time. And they were with me. I remember one time that I was really, really sad, and I was in the living room, and my aunt saw me that I was crying. And she just sit with me and she cared about me, and she talked to me. And after that, I realized that I don't have to keep it to me. I have them and they can heal you with me.

SPEAKER_00

And and I really believe this that I live my life in this way that sometimes when I'm weak, others are strong. And when I'm strong, others are weak. And my job is to pull them up with me and to strengthen them. And sometimes it's just to sit, maybe it's just to sit with you and say, Yeah, exactly. Uh, I I think this can really speak to a lot of people at where they're at. One, there are so many people that have come to either Miami or to this country without knowing anyone. Anyone, they are brand new. And then when we're dealing with, and most of us at different seasons of our life, we deal with big emotions. It could be loss, it could be grief, but we should always come from the place of knowing you don't have to do it alone.

SPEAKER_01

You don't have to do it.

SPEAKER_00

There is community out there. I'm really a huge advocate for being involved in a church because there's healthy community to be found. But if you have family that that or friends that can become like family, a support system, and you were not ever meant to do it alone. Do it alone. And it sounds like that brought a lot of strength as you continue to heal and with it to become acclimated to this new life. So um let's talk about what you know, as you're grieving, this process of grieving is going. What were some of the things that you tapped into to begin to heal and to begin to maybe when did you find yourself turning to God more?

SPEAKER_01

Well, I remember that I I was I I have been always a person that trusts too much in God.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I I'm always first person I want to do something, I put it in God's hands. Amen. Everything for all my decisions. The best way to live. Yeah, for all my decisions. But with this, um well, I remember all of this that it was a math with God. Um sometimes I feel so alone. Sometimes I see my cousins talking with her moms or their fathers, and that's it. And I remember And it would make you sad to say. And it made me it make me sad because I I couldn't call my mom. Yeah. And sometimes I just pray to God and I say, please, I need you to be here with me. I feel so alone. I need to know that I'm not alone. And I remember I love that. Yeah, I remember what one time that I was working and I feel so so down. Yeah, yeah. And I don't that was the day I don't want to talk with anyone, and I don't want anyone to talk to me. Yeah. And I remember there was a girl with her boyfriend. They were there eating. And at the end she was asked me my name. I told her my name, and she told me that she told me this exactly words. I don't know, but I have this feeling. I have to tell you this God wants you to know that you are not alone, and he has a great big plan for you. Oh my gosh. That was oh my god, he is with me. Yeah, he's listening to me. Sometimes I feel like he's not listening to me, but he is right there, he's right next to me.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and it's almost like God had put, you know, it says he sends angels to attend to us, and almost like he had planted that couple there at that specific time. And uh he knows, he knows our thoughts before we know that. Yeah, we know and he knows every detail. And I think it's such a reminder. We, you and I have talked about this, we definitely believe in the prophetic. Yeah, we believe in the the revelation word of God, and I think that God put those people in your path just to say, Aura, I love you. I'm here with you. I'm here with you. You know, knowing that you've walked through this and you are still in your healing journey, what is something that you would encourage others out there that are watching today as they walk through their own grief uh season or grief journey? What how could you encourage them? Where did you find your strength? Well, I'll

SPEAKER_01

First is don't you don't have to keep for yourself.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

That's the first thing. You are maybe if you don't have any closest family, you have some friends, you have to talk with anybody with someone that there is for you. Silence isn't helpful. Silence is yeah, exactly. Silence is not a help.

SPEAKER_00

It's not it's not the answer.

SPEAKER_01

It's not the answer. You you have to like talk about it. It it makes feel you better. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_01

It feels you better. Don't have it it's gonna be hard. It's gonna be hard. Some days it's gonna be harder than others, sometimes it's gonna be feel good. But I think just you have to leave all the things to God.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

You have to to pray to God to be there to let you. It's like He has to He's there, He's right there with you. Yeah, He's gonna if you ask for it, He's gonna be there.

SPEAKER_00

Sometimes I notice that I'll get really I don't know if you're like this, I will get deep in my thoughts. I'll get deep in all the what ifs. I'll get it deep in what if it doesn't go this way? What if it doesn't happen that way? And I'll get so caught up in my thoughts that I actually will forget to open my mouth and just pray. And and there's power in our words. There's power in the words that we speak. And God really wants us to call out, call his name. And know I remember a moment very similar to a moment that you shared earlier when I just felt so alone. I remember kneeling down by my couch and I just said, God, I need you. God, I don't know who I can turn to. And in that moment, I just felt this flood of the presence and the power and the love of God. And He really is with us in every moment. And I've even had times when I'm like, I don't know who to talk to about this, but God reminds me, you can talk to me. You can, you can tell, tell me about it. Um, I guess what would you say is the hardest part about losing someone that you love?

SPEAKER_01

Well, for me, it was the I have to realize I'm not gonna see her anymore.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I don't wanna uh hear her voice. Yeah, I don't wanna feel her presence with me. Um, the daily moments that we that we pass. I remember when we were in Colombia, I was working, the my work was very close to the house. So sometimes I just call her and I was, can you take lunch with me? And she was, yeah, okay, I am away. Uh and she was right there, and sometimes we go out to take breakfast. And that little moments, that's the hard part.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

But you learn how to deal with that.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Yeah. And you can't, you, you, you get to hold on to the memories. You can't really replace those moments. No. But thank God for the memories. For the memories. Yeah. There were, you know, I'm sure that that there's nothing that compares to the memory of of her living on, you know, I lost my mom to uh last spring. And it's it's crazy because sometimes even like her Facebook will pop up. And I just think I it'll be a comment that she had left. And I'm just like, wow, I'm never, I'm never gonna talk to her again. Yeah. Um, we are thankful because we have the eternal promise of God that someday we will be reunited. Yeah, we leave this earth. I'm so thankful that that is our hope. It's an eternal hope that we have. And um, I just want to say, um, you know, is there anything else that you turn to that you would want to encourage anybody else with that's out there dealing with the same kind of situation, maybe a verse or a saying or a song. I feel like you're one of those people that like you could like go listen to a song on repeat and it would like speak to you. What are some other ways that you would say that people could cope when they go hit the hard moments in their life?

SPEAKER_01

Well, I remember now that you you talk about it at some. I have um one of my favorite artists in the world, that's not Taylor, is Katie Perry. She has a song. Yeah, she has a song that is never really over. Yeah. And that song, oh my gosh, is very powerful. Because I I think about it, it it's right. Never really over. This is not over. I'm gonna see her in a moment. Yeah. When when we we want I wanna see her, you know, I that's my that's what I think always. I wanna see her.

SPEAKER_00

Speaking of Katie Perry, is I actually had this thought. I'm like, I would love to have Katie on the podcast. Like, or do you think someday this could happen? Yeah. Because let me tell you the thing about Katy Perry, so many of her songs, they like speak deep to my soul. And I think it's because she's under, she's walked through some big bang and trauma in her life, but she overkeeps it. I there's a song by the grace of God. Yeah. And it talks about being in this really low moment, but finding the strength to look in the mirror and to choose I'm not gonna give up. I'm gonna get out of bed. I'm gonna go on. I remember she says her her sister was her strength, but I love what everything that you said is you know, we undergo trauma and pain and hurt and grief, but we find the strength to look in the mirror to know that God is our source, God is our source, and he's gonna strengthen us even in the hardest moments. Um, so present day, you're look you're dreaming of your future life. And what what do you want the most out of life? What would you say that you're dreaming of?

SPEAKER_01

Well, I always think about my future. Uh at first, I I actually I wanna be, I wanna become a kindness woman like my mom. Yeah, I wanna have my own family like she does. I wanna raise to my children's what she teaches me, and I want to keep her legacy alive. Come on, I love that.

SPEAKER_00

And you know what? That just really uh motivated me to think about this. That even if people are with us for a shorter amount of time than we would have wanted, what we can choose is not to say and live in the lust, but to remember the good moments and the good things that they brought to our life. And that's the best legacy that we can live on. And I just would speak to you that Aura, you're such a beautiful person. And really, you're the kind of person that when you enter the room, there is a light that shines out of you. And as you continue to share your story, one, you're gonna help to heal so many other people. It was a story that was meant to be shared. But I speak to the woman that you're becoming, the woman that you already are, and um, the family that you're gonna have, the beautiful man of God that he is preparing for you, wherever he may be, and all of the promises, all the things that you've been praying about, dreaming of, and that your mom would be so proud of the woman that you are now and the woman that you're becoming. Uh every time that we so thank you. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for being vulnerable. Thank you for sharing about your healing journey. I know you've helped so many people today, but we always end the podcast with a prayer. So we're gonna pray. Okay. And uh, let's pray. That's perfect. Father God, Lord, we love you. We thank you. God, we thank you for the high moments and we thank you for the low moments. God, we thank you for the moments when we celebrate and the moments when we mourn. God, we thank you that even when we have tears, God, you can replace those tears with joy. God, we thank you that even when we grieve, we have we know that it's uh it means that we have the ability to feel deeply. God, you gave us hearts to beat and you gave us minds to think, and you gave us emotions to feel. And we're just so thankful for what you pieced us together and put us together, that you've called us masterpieces. God, that you've filled us with purpose. And I pray for every single person out there that might be today dealing with loss, dealing with grief, maybe feeling angry, maybe feeling like they don't understand why. I just pray that the God of heaven, you would rain down on them right now and you would fill them with a flood of your love. You would send angels to attend to them. You would tell them, I love you. I have made you for purpose. Live on with the good memories. Use this story, this testimony to change lives, to become stronger. Just like God, you made Aura the strongest, the best version of herself, even through the pain. God, may you strengthen others and continue to guide them on the path, God, to make them everything that you've called them to be. Thank you for their purpose. Thank you for their calling. Thank you for the meaning of their lives. And God, right now, we give you the glory, the honor, and the praise. We thank you for your goodness and that you hold us in every moment. Amen. So I just want to thank you for being here today, for sharing your heart, for sharing your story. I know that you've helped just hundreds. It's going to be thousands of people that will be healed through your story.

SPEAKER_01

No, thank you for inviting me. I just have a great time here. And I hope this, my story, helped some people.

SPEAKER_00

It's going to. Thank you so much. If this conversation has resonated with you, it would mean so much to us if you could subscribe and follow wherever you get your podcasts. This has been Red Flags and Redemption.