The Shadow Work Behind Getting Visible and Selling with Claire Quick

We’re getting into the real reason you avoid the camera, find selling icky, and keep tweaking your offer with mindset coach Claire Quick… and, spoiler alert, it's not a strategy or a “consistency” problem.

In this episode:

2:12 What "shadow work" even means in your business, it's not as woo as it sounds
6:43 The real reason you avoid being on camera and why "it's just not my thing" is true for anyone over 20
13:16 Claire's 7-day phone trick for finally getting comfortable on video
14:52 Why selling feels icky, and how to reframe it so it doesn't
31:00 The one-month content experiment that quadrupled her following

Hang out with Claire Quick:

https://www.instagram.com/clairequickcoaching
https://claire-quick-coaching.myflodesk.com/shadowwork
https://www.clairequickcoaching.co.uk

Hang out with Deanna:

https://deannaseymour.com
https://instagram.com/thedeannaseymour

🪩 Check out The Playhouse: A networking community for creative business owners at jointheplayhouse.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:22

If you've ever said anything like, I hate being on camera, or I suck at selling, or you find yourself constantly tweaking your offers, or struggling with being consistent, you have got to listen to this episode. And in case you're new here, you're listening to my new series called Cool People Doing Cool Things, and I'm your host, Deanna Seymour, graphic designer, creative director, and founder of the Playhouse, where networking is actually fun. Today I'm hanging out with Claire Quick. She's a speaker, coach, and activator who helps women stop overthinking and start taking action. She helps you get visible and sell by focusing on mindset, identity, and the psychology behind why you're not doing what you know would work. All right, let's do this thing. Hey Claire, how's it going? Hi Dina, very good, thank you. How are you doing? I am awesome. I'm so excited about this conversation because I think I just stumbled upon this carousel. And I feel like it's fake because I'm not really on Instagram that much. So for me to randomly be on there, usually I look through stories, not through the feed, and then see this carousel that you posted. I was like, oh my gosh, who are you? Like I immediately just messaged you and I was like, I don't even know this person. And and this this post got like a lot of, I feel like it had a lot of attention. So I was like, this person's not even gonna reply to me, or like be like, who is this person being like, you're so cool. Do you want to be on my podcast? Um, so thanks for being here.

SPEAKER_05 1:53

Thank you very much. It's a pleasure to be here. And I'm really grateful that you just, you know, found it and rebounds.

SPEAKER_02 2:00

Yes. Okay. So I was like, for this series, cool people doing cool things. I was like, well, this is a cool thing that you're talking about. So before we really dive into this carousel and what struck me, can you explain to people um what shadow work is? Because I always joke that I'm like woo adjacent or like I appreciate woo, but I'm like not all the way in. And shadow work sounds kind of woo-y. So tell us what what you're talking about when you say shadow work.

SPEAKER_05 2:28

Yeah, so I think for people who have no idea who I am and what the carousel is about, let's just bring a little bit of context. So I did publish a piece of content on Instagram where I talk about um shadow work and content creation or shadow work and your business. And the reason for it is I'm a mindset-first business coach. So I help promote grow their business, their visibility, and the sales, but I really focus on the mindset behind it all. And when we think about shadow work, yeah, we think very ruble stuff, but actually, it's simply all this uh limiting beliefs and stories you tell yourself that are stopping you from taking action. So what I really believe is, and you're probably gonna agree with me, Dina, building a business is pretty fucking simple. Um, you need to grow an audience or get yourself out there, tell people what you do, make an offer, and you make money. Like the steps are ridiculously simple, but it's very hard to do it. It's very hard to get yourself to do it. And the reason is hard is what I call shadow work. It's all the reason the mindset behind it.

SPEAKER_02 3:43

Okay, so it's like sort of your little um, it's like your little gremlins or like the little devil on your shoulder. I'm just trying to think of like all the examples, but that voice in your head that's like, oh, this, you know, or just even just that feeling in your body when you're like, oh god, here I go. I have to do it. It's like the scary things, right?

SPEAKER_05 4:04

It is, yeah, it is. But when you get to that stage of realizing you have this voice, you really you're already like super advanced into it. Because most women, you know, you most women are just gonna. I mean, I'm gonna take myself, for example. I had a coaching business for years, and I will be posting online, but I will not have clients, or I will have I will have one client at a time, every single time. So have work with someone for three months, then I have no one for two weeks, work with someone for three months, and none, you know, but it will it will never gain momentum. And I really thought the problem was my strategy. So I paid coaches to teach me strategies, sales strategy, marketing, all of that, when actually the problem wasn't there at all. The problem was a lack of self-trust, it was a lack of confidence, a lack of self-worth, a lack of um worthiness, like all of this. But and then I realized, oh yeah, I do have this voice, I do feel this in my body, I don't ever want to try that. But to get there, it took longer than I would like.

SPEAKER_02 5:09

Well, it's annoying because it's it's not as easy as just paying someone to be like, oh, here's actually you're posting at the wrong time. Just post it this time and it will be magically fixed. Like this is hard work to sort of reprogram, I'm imagining your work.

SPEAKER_05 5:24

I mean, how how freeing it is to hear someone tell you, do this, and then you make five to ten KMO. Oh, yeah, okay, fine, give me, I do it, I do it. But the thing is, being the woman who does this, being the woman who's gonna because yes, there is strategy, right? I am a half woo, half strategy. There is strategy in making sales and doing marketing. I work in corporate sales, I know that. But being the woman who implements a strategy consistently and efficiently, you have some identity mindset work to do before that.

SPEAKER_02 6:00

Yes. Okay, okay. So let's let's dive into the different things you talked about in the carousel. Because I really was like swiping through it and loving it. Um, and I also just love that you said consistency, because I feel like a lot of times, whenever we can't be consistent, and we'll dive into this, I'm sure, on all these, but just for anybody listening, I feel like most of the time when we can't be consistent, we just beat ourselves up about it. We're like, oh, we suck. We can't. I just can't be consistent. I don't have willpower. I'm like not uh focused, I'm not good, I'm not strategic, all those things like it's I think uh like you were just saying, it's it's hard work to do, but it's probably freeing to know, like, oh, there's nothing like wrong with me. It's just some like some stuff I have to work on. So um I love that. Let's talk about okay. The first one in the carousel says if you talks about if you avoid showing your face on camera. What is the shadow work or like what what's really going on? Like, you know, people say all the time, like, oh, I just don't like being on camera. And we act like it's just a personality, like a like a preference. So, what is actually you think going on?

SPEAKER_05 7:06

I have so much to say about this one. It is actually so many things. So we're gonna say, uh, I don't like being on camera, like it's not my thing. Guess what? Unless you're 20 years old, it is never gonna be your thing because you were not born with social media. 20 years old is different, but you were not born with social media, you were not born like talking to yourself on the phone. Like, this is not natural, this is not normal. Like, this is not what we what you grow up, what you've seen. So, yes, it is weird, yes, it is different. Yes, it is what you need to do if you want to make money in 2026. Okay, so telling yourself, oh, it's not me, and I'm not good at it. Well, you can become good at it if you choose to, right? There's plenty of C you are not good at it, and you learned. It is not a problem of not having the right phone and not having the good lightning and not having the ring light because all of this is fixable. Learn how to take a video, learn how to prop your phone on a tripod, get a $20 tripod of Amazon, like all of this is just a story. What's really happening is you are scared of being visible, you are scared of being visible and being judged. So you are scared of people seeing you online and judging you. And even if you manage to work through that and you're like, oh yeah, no, I don't give a F anymore, I'm just gonna do it. What stops a lot of people and they don't realize is that you are scared of putting yourself out there and still not being chosen. People tell you put yourself out and you get clients, you're just scared of putting yourself out and still not being chosen. Because you will make this mean so much about you, what is possible for you, what you are capable of, and what is going to be the future of your own business.

SPEAKER_02 9:10

Well, it's like that feeling too when um you post something and nobody comments or nobody likes it. And I don't know about other people listening, but I definitely, it's almost like you have the urge to like take it down and be like, just kidding, never mind. Like nobody don't pay attention to what I just did. Like it is very like scary to, like you said, not be chosen. Like, even if you get past the scaredness of doing it, there then there's the other layer of like, okay, I did it, but nobody, I didn't get the reaction that I wanted. Like, maybe it's not even like a mean troll, but you're still just like, ugh, like there is so much, there's so much.

SPEAKER_05 9:48

Because from them the question is, so what? Yeah. So what? And part of your brain is no one liked it, no one's gonna see me as valuable, no one's gonna trust me, I'm never gonna have a client, it's never gonna work. Like, and you're like, you just posted something that just didn't get like. How many times have you seen something online that you liked and didn't hit like?

SPEAKER_02 10:12

I do it all the time. I'm the worst at double tapping. I just forget. I wonder, you know what, I'm gonna look really fast. I wonder if I liked this post that I literally invited you on. I'm gonna see if I did. Oh my gosh, I'm gonna look really fast. Um this is cracking me up to see if I did this. I'm like, oh my gosh, dead air time. Let me do it quick so the people listening won't get bored. Um, I feel like there's like maybe a 50-50 chance. I didn't like it. I did not like it. Isn't that crazy? So I did not even like the post that I because you know what happened? I mean, I got excited and I messaged you. But um, I really tell people all the time I suck at liking posts because I just see it and my brain's like, oh my god, that's so cute. Or I'll like show it to my husband on the couch or something. And then I just like keep going. I'm not I'm not a double tapper. So that is wild. I can't believe that. I thought there was kind of a good um chance that I might not have liked it. So sorry. Here we go. I'm gonna like it right now, officially.

SPEAKER_05 11:12

But the thing is, you know, you I got a lot of clients that literally have both themselves and my calendar have paid for coaching with me, and I didn't even know they followed me. Because they have never interacted, they have never messaged me, but one day I posted something that got them into action. I like posts from people I will never buy from.

SPEAKER_02 11:36

Mm-hmm. Same. Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 11:38

Maybe clearly I'm not sure. I like their post, but it's really not something I will ever buy. So it is, but we attach the thing, it's a meaning we attach to this, and because showing your face on camera is such an alien thing to do, again, and that's it 20 years old. It is so you you feel it so threatening, it's so different, it's so out there. If you are in your 30s, 40s, 50s, whatever, none of your friends are doing it, like, or very little of them. So it's such a different thing to do, it's such something people talk about as well, that you feel so threatened about doing it, and then people don't like it, and you make it means so much more than it needs to mean.

SPEAKER_02 12:26

Yeah. Well, it is it does stink that it's called liking it, because I feel like and we're like, oh my god, no one likes it, like literally and figuratively. But okay, I love that. And I've had clients too that I didn't even know were following me. So that's also a good point that it's not necessarily related to what you're selling. But if you let the lack of like stop you from doing it, you're never gonna get that person to buy from you because you quit because they didn't double tap it.

unknown 12:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 12:55

Yeah, so the question is gonna be uh what do you feel? You know, putting yourself on camera, uh what part of your identity or your person feels threatened by it? Is it the visibility and being judged? Is it the visibility and not being chosen? Is it the fear of being ridiculed? Like which part is it? And then work through that.

SPEAKER_02 13:19

And in the post two, you have little um like sort of a little pep talk in the caption of what they could do, like just kind of start smaller. Like you don't have to start a YouTube channel, do a 20-minute video if you are scared of getting on camera, right?

SPEAKER_05 13:32

Like you can so I'm gonna give you for you, the listeners, what I give all of my clients when it comes to showing up on camera, don't do it just now. At the beginning, take your phone and video yourself in your house. Take a picture of yourself and delete them. Talk to yourself on the camera and delete them. Video yourself making your coffee and delete it, but do it for seven days straight. Get over the weirdness of seeing yourself on screen, get over the weirdness of talking to your phone. Do it so many times that it becomes natural to do it. That actually it doesn't feel that way. Like you know how to prop your phone, you know where to look. Like get this done in the safety of your own home or car or whatever you want to do it, but not in public. So the the worst thing, the worst thing you can do is put your big girl pants on, go on your stories, brave it, and tomorrow you won't do it because you freaked out so bad, you were so brave, no one liked it, it means it's never gonna work, and then you just shut down. And I had so many people doing this. Take your phone, start believing yourself for a week, two weeks, three weeks, whatever it takes, become the person who find it natural to talk to her phone and then go and do it in public.

SPEAKER_02 14:56

Okay, that's a great tip. I like that. I've never heard I've never heard anybody say that. So I love that. Okay, the next one in the carousel is if you find selling icky. That's a big one. I think it's a big one. Yeah it's it's a little bit of a one for me. So let's dive into that. What does that mean if we think selling is icky?

SPEAKER_05 15:20

So first I'm gonna be a bit of tough love. If you find that selling is icky, you're gonna have a really hard time having your own business and making money. Because if you are in business, you are in sales. Yes. If you are in business and if you are a service-based business, your job is to sell yourself. Basically. Yeah. So why is selling icky? Selling can be icky for different things. First, because maybe first you were sold so many times in an icky way that you just associate selling with like something very sleazy, very scripted, very horrible. I love going on sales call with people and see how they work me on the sales call. And last year I went on a sales call with someone who tried trying to sell, I can't even remember. He kept me, he kept me on the sales call. I killed you not for two and a half hours. Oh my gosh. Well, I was saying I wasn't interested, like I didn't have the money, and you know that I was saying all the objection to see how I was handling it. Two and a half hours. And if you have had anything like this, you're like, obviously, I don't want to be that person. Anyone who is gonna be like, you know, if you build on a sales course and you're oh, I need to think about it, oh, really? What do you need to think about? What do you think is gonna change? Like, oh my god, anybody trying to sell like this, it just feels so horrible and unnatural that if you associate selling with it, obviously it's icky. So it might be linked first to the experience you have had of being sold to. It can be led to the fact that you don't feel worthy of whatever you're selling, uh like the price, you know, you don't feel worthy of people paying you money. It's a weird concept when you start people paying your money, right? It's very exhilarating when it happens, but it can feel very weird at the beginning when you have to say, okay, I'm charging that much. Like it's me, I'm selling me. So that can be a weird thing as well. It can also be because you were told that if you wanted more, it just makes you greedy. And that it's a whole thing around when a man said, All right, you shouldn't want too much, you're a woman, you blah blah blah, and people like me, and people like you, and all that kind of talk. All of this can make that selling piece i key.

SPEAKER_02 17:54

I think that's where that's where I struggle. It's like it's not necessarily just selling, but I think I underprice myself all the time because I'm like, oh, if it's like too much, I'm exploiting people, or I'm like just trying to get what I can, and it feels like weird. So I think I'm glad you're like going into that territory too. Even just like not just selling in general. Like I feel like I can sell to a point, and then it gets to a point where I'm like, ah, okay, it's too uncomfortable. Go back down, go back down to safety, go back down. It's too much. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 18:23

So selling is a funny thing. I used to work in corporate sales because I was so shit at selling myself in my coaching business. Because I was so bad, I wanted to learn sales. So I worked in a company where I was my job was literally corporate sales to kind of get so used to selling and talking about money that I became very desensitized to it. Yeah, it just became part so much of it, and then I understood the psychology of selling and what actually it is to sell and why it isn't. When I was in corporate, we were handling a contract, and the contract was okay, you know, a million pounds. And I was with my colleague, she was way over experienced, and the client was being difficult, like we need to think about it, blah blah blah. And my colleague went, you know what? That's your aspiration. If you can't put that money for us to help you get there, then you're not even serious about your bowl. And that in that case, we don't want to work with you. A million pounds. Yeah, we worked out, and I was like, Are you serious? Are you basically telling them like we don't want to work with them? It's a million that is like a chemist and child. We're not working with people who don't want to work with us and who aren't serious. And that day I was like, holy shit, okay. So it's not about selling, like this is a thing where I understood the value behind sales, but you sell value, and people need to see the value of what you're selling, and that really shifts the perspective. When you think about when you're equally about selling, you feel like you're taking money from people. Well, actually, you're not, you're providing them with a service. It's like when you run out of groceries, you're gonna go to your supermarket and you know, you're like, I need food, they have food, take my money, give me the food. Like, we don't overthink this. Yeah, it's just everything. I have something you need, you need it, I give it to you, you give me some money. Money is just something that we have created to facilitate exchange of services.

SPEAKER_02 20:56

Oh my gosh. Okay, so I just thought of something too when you were talking about um groceries, because I automatically thought of like Whole Foods is an expensive grocery store where I live. Um, Wegmans, uh, we shop at Aldi because I don't care that much about fancy stuff or even like wine, right? Some people are like wine snobs and they're like, oh my gosh. And I'm like, I can go to Trader Joe's and buy wine. But that doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with me, or I'm cheap, or they're dumb and they're paying too much, or that wine's too expensive. It just means that person was like, I want this wine, which cost this much. And here we go, we're gonna exchange our money. And then I'm saying I want this wine that only costs this much because that's how much I want to spend online. You know, like I feel like the you said desensitize it. And so it doesn't have to be like, oh, I buy cheap wine. It's just like this is the wine I buy, this is how much it costs. And like I don't have to be like, oh my god, a wine snob. Look at that fancy lady buying a million dollar bottle of wine. Like if that's what the bottle of wine she wants, and that's how much it costs, and she wants to do that, and that's like her thing, right? I don't know if my head's not always the same, you know. Like even groceries can be fancy groceries or not fancy groceries. So I think because then I think some people like me would get tripped up and be like, yeah, but some people charge this much and some people charge this much.

SPEAKER_05 22:21

And okay, so selling is different than pricing. Okay, okay. Selling and pricing is different. If we talk about pricing, two things. First, we have different values. Okay. You had a very good example. I do CrossFit. CrossFit is UK is super expensive. It's like the price of two normal gyms. You know, like if you go to a price of two, I pay CrossFit and I don't even blink an eye, and I pay for CrossFit. Now, if you tell me to pay like 20 pounds to have my nails done, I'm like, are you joking? I can do this myself. I am not spending three hours and 20 quid to have my nails done by someone, sit in a chair, have an awkward, like small talk for an hour and a half, held to the no. However, take my money for CrossFit where I'm gonna have dogs for a week and my hands might bleed, and I'm gonna be like, you know, in pain an hour a day. Yes, please. We value different things, so we spend our money how we value it.

SPEAKER_02 23:24

Yeah. And it doesn't, and it wouldn't have to do with me. Like it is tricky because you're like a business. Yeah, but when we're like how you were saying earlier, like you feel like a little bit like you're selling you, like people don't like me, but it's not, it's just it's just what yeah, like it's just what you said about the group.

SPEAKER_05 23:41

Yeah, yeah. And then the other thing I would say about pricing, and that is really my personal opinion. I will never price for something I'm not happy to buy. So I will, when I started my coaching, I think I used to charge like 300 pounds because this is how much I was happy and I had to buy to spend on a coach. When I kind of changed my mindset and then I was spending a few thousand, I thought, okay, I was able, I had more value, right? And I was like, okay, I can provide more value, and now I feel like I can provide something that is honestly probably still underselling myself. I should probably be priced way higher, but it doesn't align with me. So my thinking is do I want, and that is really personal, do I want to spend a month and a half working on my money mindset and my self-worth so then I can charge that much and I can charge way higher? Or do I want to charge what I'm comfortable with now? And then my price will just change as I provide more value, as I want, because at the end of the day, it's my fucking business, and I can charge higher amount.

unknown 24:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 24:54

So when you said you underpriced yourself, well, if you're happy with your pricing at the minute, if you're fully booked, why not? You can change your price later.

SPEAKER_02 25:05

That's so refreshing. I feel like people always make people feel bad about um, you know, oh, you're undercharging, you have a money mindset issue, or what you know. I feel like people you know what we probably all do.

SPEAKER_05 25:16

Yeah, money is such a weird topic. We all have money mindset issues. The people who tell you you have money mindset issues, guess what? They have money mindset issues. We all do. It's fine. But you know, you just do what you feel is right. If you work and you are overworked and burnout, and you make no money and you're reasonable, then we have a problem. And then we need to do something. If you're like, you know what? I booked, I will work with clients that I really like, I provide great value, I see transformation, I love my work, I can afford my lifestyle. Fine.

SPEAKER_02 25:50

Yeah, that's a problem with that. I love that. Okay, let me keep looking. We probably can't do all of them. I'm gonna pick my favorite, I'm gonna pick some of my favorites. Okay, um what about well? We kind of touched a little bit on consistency, but one of the things in the carousel was if you struggle with consistency, what are we what are we dealing with?

SPEAKER_05 26:18

Okay. So, first of all, why do we think consistency is? Because I think that is a massive misconception. Consistency is not every day.

SPEAKER_02 26:28

I know, I was gonna say constantly. I feel like all of us hear, like someone says consistent and we hear constant.

SPEAKER_05 26:33

We're like hearing every day. I know I constantly, I consistently work in wave. I'm gonna be all out and then I'm gonna rest, and then I'm gonna be out, and then I'm gonna put it back because this is how I like to work. It doesn't mean I completely disappear, but it just means I have you know launches and then I don't launch, and I go out because I'm really inspired, and then I'm a bit less. So you can work in in bursts, but consistently, which is you, you know, if you have a burst of energy every three months and in the meantime you don't you don't completely disappear, maybe it's your way of working. It doesn't mean constant.

SPEAKER_02 27:16

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 27:17

I had actually, I was in a call actually last week, and someone said, I have a consistency problem, I don't have the willpower, I don't have this, I don't have that. And the reality is, is that okay, so took me through a day where you feel like on fire. So well, yesterday I really felt good, and I was like, I'm gonna do this, do that, and then I had a call with my client, and that really drained me, and then I was tired, and then I was this and that, and then I didn't show up for three days. But okay, this is not a consistency problem. That is an energy management problem, that is a setting boundary problem. That is you really understanding how you work, understanding when you work your best, and not and protecting your own energy and your own capacity. That has nothing to do with being consistent, that has nothing to do with willpower. Yes. Energy management. It's about deciding, and this is why I see as in the carousel, it's not a willpower problem, it's an identity problem. Is you haven't decided that you are gonna do this. So you like, maybe I go, but maybe I don't, and maybe this, and no one likes my post, and so I'm not gonna show up for three weeks. If you decide I'm gonna make this happen and I'm gonna do that, then you will make a plan to make it happen, find what is sustainable for you. I'm sorry, but if you have three kids, two dogs, and a house, you're not gonna be as consistent as someone who is single in a studio flat on her own. You have different capacity, so it's about okay, knowing what you want to do, knowing what it takes, understanding your own capacity and your own energy, and then being disciplined in following that. But the problem is I see a lot of women who have very busy life comparing themselves to some people who don't have any life, like a busy life, and then be like, oh, but not as consistent. No, no shit, you don't have the same life, you don't have the same capacity. So we have to be realistic and really decide on what we call consistency.

SPEAKER_02 29:28

Like your own consistency. What will consistency look like for me? Will it look like this?

SPEAKER_05 29:34

Well, it looks like in your big period, because you know, we all like we women, we hormonal beings. I don't know for you, but when I'm ovulating, I don't have either when I have my period, right? So you have a baseline of this is how I'm showing up all the time. Like this is a baseline, okay. And then you can be like, okay, but when I have when I'm ovulating, I feel great. And on day I feel great, maybe I do a bit more. On the week I feel great, maybe I go more. But I have a baseline. We understand this very well with other things like our wellness, right? Like maybe you ask someone, I always do at least 8,000 steps, sometimes 20,000. Sometimes I do 10, but I never go under eight. Or like I never sleep less than five hours. Okay, sometimes I sleep eight, but I just never sleep under five because I know if I sleep under five hours, then I'm really gonna feel rough. So, what do I do? I make sure that for five hours I'm in bed. So I set boundaries, I turn my phone off, I turn the TV off, I tell everybody like burger off, I'm gonna go to bed. But right, but it is the same about showing up in our business. We're not sleeping for 12 hours, right? We're sleeping for five, but we consistently sleep for five. Sometimes it's eight, but the baseline is five. And consistency, it's about finding this baseline that matches your energy and your goals. And I think that's important. Because if we want really, if you're like, okay, you know what, these next three months, I really want to go big, like I want things to shift dramatically, then yeah, your consistency is gonna have to be a little bit more than I'm okay cruising where I am now. And I think it's about becoming real on this as well.

SPEAKER_02 31:24

Yeah, and also maybe probably putting that within a larger picture of this is not sustainable forever, for the whole year, but I'm gonna kind of ramp it up during this time to get a little momentum, but then bring it back down. Don't try to like keep it up there.

SPEAKER_05 31:38

The reason you found this carousel of mine is because beginning of March, I said I want my business to be in a completely different place for my birthday, which was in the middle of April. So I gave myself a month to be my business in a different place. During that month, I went crazy on content. I posted five content a day, at least five or six. I went like, I'm gonna have I want my business, want to be, I want to be in a different place in the month. I want this big push. I was so consistent for the month. I posted five to six times a day for a whole month. Guess what? My following quadrupled. Oh my gosh, okay, because I wanted to, because I said for this month I want to be in a different place. I was going to an event in London and I didn't want to walk in being the smallest fish in the pond, but I want to go there with a story that will impress. So I was super consistent for a month, but it's not sustainable. So I knew for a month my consistency will look like this. I had a masterclass at the end, I wanted a hundred people signed up, I had nearly 200. Nice! Awesome. Yeah, I really wanted this, so my consistency for a month went way higher. Did I have to be disciplined? Hell yeah. Because you have to, I had to plan, I had to be disciplined through the whole month to be able to get there. But then I was there, and then I was like, okay, nice done. Now my consistency comes back to my normal consistency, which is like posting three times a week, chilling a little bit, like it's different. Yeah, but for a month, I had to be very my consistency was a lot more than it was before and uh it was after.

SPEAKER_02 33:28

Yeah. I love that. I love also, like you said, just having a having a deadline in mind. Happy birthday, by the way. Good job.

unknown 33:36

Good job on this.

SPEAKER_02 33:37

Oh my gosh. Okay, so then okay, I said we weren't gonna do them all. But the next one is if you keep tweaking your niche or offer. Which is sound also maybe when you were talking about identity, I'm like, oh my gosh, that that might play into this too, like changing. So let's talk about this one because I think it's a good one. I think a lot of people that are in my circle, myself included, maybe neurodivergent, ADHD, multi-passionate, this can show up a lot. So I think this is a good one.

SPEAKER_05 34:06

So this one is really about you keep tweaking because you don't think it's gonna happen. Like you just think the problem is your niche, the problem is your offer. It's not selling because it's the wrong offer, it's the wrong niche, it's the wrong message, it's the wrong blah blah blah. Well, actually, you keep tweaking it because it's your fear of failure, right? Of being like, what if I stand 200% behind this offer and I really go for it and then it doesn't sell? Right? So, what do you do? You promote it for two weeks and no one wants it, so then you change it.

unknown 34:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 34:47

Or you change the age, or you say, Oh, it's not specific enough, the offer is too vague. I don't show the transformation enough, I don't do this enough. So you you're fixing, you're trying to fix a problem that is has never been there. It's just because you talked about it for a week or two and no one wanted it. It's a it's a lack of commitment to your own offer and your own vision, it's a lack of self-trust in what you were said to create, you know, to bring to the world. It's like you believed in it if people validate it, validated it quickly enough. But if it doesn't get validated quickly enough, then it must it must not be right. So then you pivot and you change, and you're not certain what what actually what is gonna sell your offer, depending on the stage of business you're at, is gonna be time. If you're brand new and you have a brand new offer, people are gonna need to hear about it more than once. Okay, you're gonna have to be sold on it for more than two weeks. Because what people buy into, and that is a crash course in cell psychology if you need it. People buy into your own conviction and your own confidence in your offer. Then already buy in the future, they don't buy at all in the future of your offer. They buy into you saying, I have this that will solve this problem for you, and I know it, and that that is the best offer that you can like put your hands on to solve this problem. That was people would buy into. If you say that for a week and then you change your mind, everybody's gonna be like, Oh, okay, well, clearly that wasn't the best offer because she already changed it after two weeks.

SPEAKER_02 36:33

Yeah, oh my god, my people listening are like, Deanna, that's me. I'm like, oh my god, wait, let me just change this, let me just say this, let me change this.

unknown 36:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 36:43

So, yeah, so stop to obviously if you try to sell something for three months and it's not selling, okay. We we have a problem in offer, in messaging, in targeting, in positioning, in something. But if you just keep on tweaking it, so that's the first bit, or you might tweak it before you even launch it. I'm gonna launch it. No, actually, I could make it better. I'm gonna launch it, no, actually, and changes. I can't I cannot tell you how many times my offer has changed in the last 18 months. I think my offer changes with every new client I have because I find a way to improve it, I find a way to change something, I find like actually I give them that, and that will help so many other people. Let's add this. This is just again the beauty of having your own offer and your own business. You can change it. Okay, you are never gonna have the perfect offer. You are never gonna have the perfect something. So put it out, stop talking about it, start selling it as it is, make it better over time. But stop waiting for it to be perfect before you launch it and you sell it.

SPEAKER_02 37:51

Yes. I'm like, you better post about it five times a day for an entire month before you decide it's not working. You need to like, yeah. Because you said um to sell it, like you need to to sell it to to see if it will sell. Um I wonder if you do have, because I was kind of joking about five times a day, but like it probably wouldn't really count. I mean, let's say I post about it once a week in stories and I send an email once a week about it. I mean, I'm still gonna have to do that for a lot of weeks before I can determine it's not selling, right? Like I can't just do that. I mean too we could posting it.

SPEAKER_05 38:35

Yeah, if you're posting about it once a week and you're sending one email a week, you might as well not do anything.

SPEAKER_02 38:41

Uh-huh. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 38:42

That's not I wanted to make sure we were like that doesn't count. That's not selling it. Enough. Um again, it's gonna depend on the, you know, when I was launching my last masterclass, if you are in my world, there is no way you didn't know I had a masterclass. My auntie, who sometimes check my post and who lives in a different country, so I don't win total, she knew I had a masterclass.

SPEAKER_01 39:09

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_05 39:09

Okay, like there is no way. You have to become so bored. When you start to be bored talking about it, and when you start thinking, am I talking about it too much? This is when people just start seeing it.

SPEAKER_02 39:23

Okay. Were you nervous? Were you nervous? Were you like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna make people mad? People are gonna be so annoyed with me. Were you nervous when you did that? When you did that month-long experiment? No, you didn't care.

SPEAKER_05 39:35

Because I thought if they are gonna be first, you are the only person who is gonna see all your content. True. And if someone is seeing all your content, my god, sign them as a client. Is there that obsessed? They are probably your clients, or get a restraining order.

SPEAKER_02 39:53

Either sign them as a client or get a restraining order. Something's wrong.

SPEAKER_03 39:56

One or the other, one or the other.

SPEAKER_05 39:59

Okay, so no one is gonna see. I uh I don't have the stats here anymore, but I think I did look it up, and I think people see in average like 300 pieces of content a day, okay. A day, yeah, 300 pieces of content a day, yeah. Okay, do you think they're gonna remember what you said? Obviously, they're not. Okay, so depending on your audience is gonna be about reaching out, like tell people if you're excited, if you if you really do things, you have what can change people's life or business or whatever you do, why aren't you excited to reach out to everybody and tell them? Right? If you have created the best thing they need and you know it, you will be telling everybody about it. Another example, I love taking like example of your of the real life, be to explain business stuff just because it's a bit easier. When you, if you married, if you have a partner, when you met that person, you told all of your friends, right? You were probably the most annoying person telling all of your friends and family how amazing this man or woman is, and how the best person, and all those things they're doing for you, and all the way that your life is better, right? You didn't worry, like, am I too much? No, you were just so excited. When you bought a cool dress or whatever, last time I bought um okay, an instant pot a few years ago. I was so excited, I told everybody to buy an instant pot. I was like, oh my god, that's gonna change your cooking game. Okay, yeah, you tell everybody about it. Yeah, so if you think you have the best offer, why don't you? Hey, maybe you haven't created the best offer, which is okay, make it better. If you think that actually, because after that, created something that actually is not that great. Let's not sell it, let's create something you can really stand behind without being perfectionist about it, and then go tell people because you're so excited, because people are gonna buy into this passion, this conviction, and this confidence more than anything else.

SPEAKER_02 42:25

Yeah, I love that. Your instant pot. I do that about my air fryer.

SPEAKER_05 42:30

Like, oh my god, I love it.

SPEAKER_04 42:32

This is how I love taking like real life example to expand business uh principle and ideas.

SPEAKER_02 42:38

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 42:39

Because we can both relate to something.

SPEAKER_02 42:41

Yeah, you have to have a crush on your business. If you're not crushing on your business and telling all your friends, then you gotta get it.

SPEAKER_05 42:47

Yeah, and then if some people think that you know you too much and you talk about it too much, they can unphoto. Yeah, you are not forcing them to stay, they can unsubscribe, they can unphoto, they aren't your people.

SPEAKER_02 43:02

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 43:03

Yes, and uh you cannot be emotional about that.

SPEAKER_02 43:08

Yes, I think one big thing I've already taken away from today is we just need to sort of disconnect a little from like taking all of it too personally, right? The likes, did anybody like it? Did somebody get mad? Is somebody annoyed? Does somebody think I'm expense too expensive? Like oh, it's too much.

SPEAKER_05 43:26

Yeah, so the analogy I always use is if you were, I need to find his name. If you are the CEO of Coca-Cola and you go to the supermarket and someone buys a Pepsi, do you think the CEO of Coca-Cola will have an existential crisis in the middle of the aisle that someone prepared a Pepsi? Yeah, right?

SPEAKER_03 43:48

He's like in a car crying. Maybe I shouldn't have done it.

SPEAKER_05 43:55

Did I say he doesn't give a damn about it because he is the CEO of Coca-Cola and he stands behind his brand and he knows some people are Pepsi people. Okay, when they're not having existential crisis, this is what you need to like the the level you need to be thinking at. You cannot get overly emotional having existential crisis every time someone posts you every time you post something and someone don't answer.

SPEAKER_02 44:25

Yes. My gosh. Okay, this was great. You guys, we didn't even get to all the things in the carousel, so you're I'm definitely gonna link your Instagram in the show notes, but tell Tell everybody where they can hang out with you and like learn more because I just love the way you do those real world examples and I just think your stuff is so cool.

SPEAKER_05 44:45

Thank you. So yeah, linking my Instagram. Uh I have deleted all my other social media. So if you want to find me, it's gonna be on Instagram. And also I think we're gonna link a workbook because I'm going through the whole carousel and I created a workbook where you can have the explanation of the behavior you're having. So maybe tweaking your offer, not selling, uh scrolling more than you consume, posting only educational content, overthinking all of this. I went through all the pattern and I went through what it means, the reframe, and I give you an exercise you can do today and want to do this week to start overcoming that.

SPEAKER_02 45:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 45:23

So get the workbook to help you work through this.

SPEAKER_02 45:26

Yeah, definitely get the workbook. Um, I love you sprinkled in a few more. I mean, it's a it's it's a great it's a great carousel. Like I said, it I even though I didn't like it until today, but um, I did like it. I loved it. I just didn't send you that little heart. So, anyways, thank you so much for being here. This was so fun. Um, I can't wait to keep seeing what you post. Thank you.

SPEAKER_05 45:48

Thank you for having me, and I hope it was helpful to everybody who listens.