Between Us with Nick and Ashlee
Two millennial lovebirds hitting their forties, parenting hoodlums, and sharing honest successes and failures. Join Nick and Ashlee as they discuss relationships, marriage, and the reality of embracing the aging process.
Nick and Ashlee are high school sweethearts that have been married for 20 years. They have four children and a dog (Ashlee's dog). They've been active in the Church since they were teenagers and still serve regularly. After many years of watching relationships break down around them, they have a passion to lead the conversation in managing healthy relationships and lifestyles.
Between Us with Nick and Ashlee
Dream Again - #013
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What happens when marriage becomes the place where forgotten dreams come back to life? In this episode, we explore how love, encouragement, and partnership can help people rediscover passions, purpose, and hope they thought were long gone. Whether you've buried a dream or want to better support your spouse's goals, this conversation is about learning to dream together again.
Hey, I'm Nick.
SPEAKER_03And I'm Ashley, and this is Between Us.
SPEAKER_00Between So you had a chance to make a dream come true.
SPEAKER_03Yep, and it was my dream.
SPEAKER_00It was your dream. And I would love if you would just share with everybody.
SPEAKER_03I got to DJ a middle school dance.
SPEAKER_01You play DJ with the game.
SPEAKER_03My life's goal and dream has always been to be a DJ. And like I don't know. Anyways, it was so fun.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03It was a middle school dance glow party.
SPEAKER_00And it was a lot of good reviews.
SPEAKER_03Listen, it was a I got a lot of really good feedback. Um, I did pick the wrong Macarena though, and it was like kept going. And so I was like, Is there more there's different Macarenas, just so you know, and I picked the wrong one. So I had to like do that whole like, I'm gonna fade this out, and then we go fade something else back in. And I but I'm just gonna tell you it was a blast. And those kids danced. I was surprised. I didn't think they would like dance, but they did.
SPEAKER_00Do you remember middle school dances?
SPEAKER_03Listen, I went my the middle school dances I went to were very different than this one. But yes, I do remember it's burnt into my memory.
SPEAKER_00Some places. Yeah. I my my middle school dance um history is really lame.
SPEAKER_03You were you went to a very small Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I was in the podunks in country school.
SPEAKER_03I was in inner city.
SPEAKER_00That's such an awkward time. It's really weird. Middle school stuff is really weird because how were you supposed to dance? What's my persona? You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_03Who were all I can tell I can tell you how all the kids were dancing at the dances I went to. It was it was something else. That's that's all I'll say.
SPEAKER_00That's where pop culture was thriving. But it wasn't happening at this dance. No, but not your dreams came true, and that's yes, and I was so excited. It was so funny to when you told me that you were asked the DJ.
SPEAKER_03Okay. You were so you know who you are. When you texted me and asked if I wanted to do this, yeah, I was so excited. It was actually a lot of fun.
SPEAKER_00And uh our son was there.
SPEAKER_03He was, and he him and his friends, they had a blast.
SPEAKER_00You took some video, and quite honestly, I was like, my guy. My guy. Yeah, it was a lot of fun. He was dancing. Uh so today we're gonna spend some time talking about dreams. Yeah, talking about you know, not like dreams you have when you go to sleep, but more so dreams that you have when you're young, and then uh as you get older, how those dreams change. And we just think I think this is a good topic because honestly, when I was younger, and even like in my teens and early 20s, I thought I had an idea about what I like life was supposed to be and everything. And as we got married, those ideas were still strong.
SPEAKER_04Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_00And then when you think like when I think back now, I'm like, what? I mean, things have definitely changed for sure over the years, but where do those dreams go? What happens with them? And at what point does that all change?
SPEAKER_03Do they ever revive themselves again? Like what how does that work? Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So I I'm gonna start off with a question. Um, I here's my question to you. When what was, do you remember, what was your dream that you can recall as a kid or in high school that you were like, this was my dream?
SPEAKER_03Okay, well, as a kid, I wanted to be a singer so bad. I wanted to be I wanted to be a background singer for Whitney Houston, yeah, and Mariah Carey and all those, all those people. Now, um would that have been realistic for me to be like, hey, I'm gonna go. I mean, people do it, they they go, they make a career out of it, they go and they do it. I didn't, um I mean, I guess I did. Music is still a huge part of my life, obviously. I do sing, I am a singer, but uh not on like the scale that I thought I would be as a kid. Um in high school, did I have a lot of dreams? Um I I don't know. I think I was too scared. I was too scared to like I I was so fixated on, okay, I just gotta make it through high school. And all my friends, they were they were talking about like college and careers and everything. And I was literally like, I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. That's how I was um and it was just really like I more so operated under the mindset of I need to get a job, I need to make some money, you know, that kind of thing. So um I didn't I yeah, I didn't have a lot of like big dreams of you know, something that could be realistic.
SPEAKER_00It's weird, it's interesting. I think you and I are really we were really alike, a lot alike in our early days or younger days. I was I knew there was a point of time when I was thinking, I want to be an architect.
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah, I remember that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and I was and that would have been absolutely attainable. You could have done it. Yeah, for sure. And uh, but then my mind switched again, and and you know, I wanted to become a pastor, then there was a time I wanted to become a graphic artist and all these different things, and I had my mind just going kind of all over the place in all different times. And I think you and I are the same, and when we were younger, we're very much the same, and that we we could just enjoy doing just about anything, and we would love to just do anything. But we both were thinking, okay, the next step for now is we gotta just work, I guess, and yeah. For sure. Uh I'll go to school and uh you found a trade, you went into cosmetology school.
SPEAKER_03I I knew about I knew this about myself. I could not sit in a lecture hall and be talked to for hours on end and then be expected to retain that information and write a paper. Like not for me.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_03So I I just like I did. I got jobs outside of high school. And then um I I remember I was like, I I want to do something. Like I want to go to college. I I even remember going to take like a prerequisite exam and walking out halfway through because I had like an anxiety attack. Because I couldn't, I just it there was so much pressure around going to college and building a career and everybody, you're as in that at that age, I think you know, you're you're watching everybody else around you that they seem like they have it like they know what they're gonna do. Like I had several friends that was like, I'm gonna go to college and I'm gonna be a nurse. And I'm like, how do you know that that's what I don't even know? Yeah. And I remember when I came to you and was like, Well, I I think I could do hair. Let's go to cosmetology school, right? It wasn't a I've wanted to do this my whole life, or you know, someone else in my family does it, so I want to do it. It wasn't like that. It was like, I don't I know that I don't just want to work random jobs.
SPEAKER_00Right, right. Yeah, I mean, there has to be some kind of direction. There's gotta be something. Right.
SPEAKER_03But that wasn't like a dream of mine, you know. Um, but I mean it's served us well over the years, throughout the years and all of that. But yeah, it's just it's different. It's just different.
SPEAKER_00I think what's interesting is before we got married and while we were dating, engaged, and everything, I think that you and I, we it's not like we didn't have dreams or or anything like that. It's more that I don't know that we knew how to put dreams into action. Action or reality or how do we go for this, I guess? Yeah, even if it does seem almost like unattainable to an extent. A lot of people, like for instance, who wanted to be professional singers and everything, they end up being just involved in music quite a bit, become a music teacher or a vocal coach or something like that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, it's not like that's a bad thing, it's just you know, that's that's it takes different routes, right? And you pursue something and then it just sends you in a different direction. But I think there are some people who um would say, like, yeah, I knew what I wanted to be when I was like 10 and just went for it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and they do crazy.
SPEAKER_00It blows my mind.
SPEAKER_03It's never my reality, never been mine either.
SPEAKER_00Like I've never, and I there's still times where I'm like, Why am I What do I want to be when I grow up? Is this am I doing the right thing? This is okay. Someone tell me. Uh, but then there's also there's the like you and I are actually, I would call us both dreamers for sure. Oh, yeah, yeah. And we love the idea of a new challenge, a big challenge. But what I'm interested in is those dreams that we had when we were young, those are obviously, you know, not well manicured or not well, you know, directed. Almost like dreams are great until reality hits.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like that is the biggest enemy of a dream is reality. You know?
SPEAKER_03That's a good line. Hey, check it out, guys. Hey, there he is. There he is.
SPEAKER_00Watch out. Get your pencils. Uh yeah, but make sure you have erasers. Um but yeah, the biggest, the biggest enemy I think is reality. And and and those things, like, think about it. It's uh failure.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_00That's a big one.
SPEAKER_03Responsibility, accountability, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00All of those things. Circumstances, like your circumstances change in a blink of an eye. It's true. And all of a sudden, you know, something bad happens or or a big opportunity happens, and then now like you have to make a choice. Do I go after my dream or do it go after this, you know, very attainable, yeah, here it is, this could set me up kind of situation. And I think um, once you're once you're married, like obviously your life goes on and you're trying to figure out each other. We've talked about this before, just like where, okay, how I've lived life, how they live life, and now we're living life together. Yeah, how does that work? Yeah, but I think uh once you're in in like you're married, or even when you're engaged, you start really having to think, okay, what am I doing? What am I doing now?
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I think with dreams and what people long for, I think they're they they go away. We'll just talk about like this. The dreams go away, I think, in one of two ways. One, it's you you try, and then you realize, like, nope, like this is.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, or it doesn't go the way that you expected it to. Like there's disappointment there. And so then it's like, okay, well, then that's not it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, exactly. Oh, yeah. Or it's and that could be a good thing. Yeah. Like there's have been a few times in our life where I went for something, or you went for something, and then all of a sudden you're like, nope, no, no, no, no. That's not it. And this isn't good for us, or this is not, you know, the right thing for us to do. And that I think is a that that is a dream realized in a way. Because it's almost like, all right, there, now I know.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00I don't have to, that's not gonna, I'm not gonna spend my wheels thinking like I wonder if I'm always gonna wonder if I ever did this or whatever.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So I think there's that. But then I think in marriage um and in relationships in general, your dreams more often will just fade away and just silently die.
SPEAKER_02Really?
SPEAKER_00I think it happens. I I don't think that's a good thing, but I think you just you justify not doing it, you know, because the responsibility is more important or the other person's dream is more important going after. So you just set aside your own design.
SPEAKER_03Okay, I can see what you're saying. At first I was like, wait, I don't agree with that. But as you're saying that, I can think of times in my life where I've done that.
SPEAKER_00I almost think that when you start having the responsibilities pile on, then those dreams that you had before, or even the dreams that you had even for your marriage too, not just like career goals and things like that, but you're like how you long for your life to look or your day-to-day to even look, that almost has to take a back seat in some ways. Because you start you you start um having responsibilities come up, or you know, if you have if you have a nine to five job or two jobs for that matter, you've got kids at home, and then you have your spouse who's also relying on you emotionally and relationally, all of a sudden those that desire of becoming a pilot that you didn't start off with that has to take a back seat because you have responsibilities.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And there's nothing wrong with that desire or that dream, but there is something wrong when you make that dream the priority when you have bigger things in front of you that you're responsible for.
SPEAKER_04Oh yeah. And so that makes sense. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So I I think that what I mean is that over time, those responsibilities and the things in front of you, the reality of your life, it has to take the front seat.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And the dream has to take a back seat. But I'm I'm curious about what can a marriage do? What can a relationship do to make sure that you always go back to say, hey, I remember that? I remember that you had a dream of doing something.
SPEAKER_03And that's I think that's a responsibility of your partner to cultivate that within you. And I, you know, again, it's not all the time. It's not like we're living in this butterflies and rainbows, and I want you to accomplish everything. You know, like it's it's not, I'm not trying to be like cringe like that, but it is to say that it is our responsibility as partners, as spouse, like to go back and dig up that that good stuff. Like that goal that we see in the other person is to cultivate that and and say, hey, I see this in you and don't let this go. You know, and that's again, like having your relationship rooted in something bigger than yourselves, having your relationship rooted in Christ and and all of that, like you are helping develop that other person, you know, like you're helping, you're calling out the attributes that you see in them and their identity and who they are in Christ and the gifts that He's given them. And I think it's like our responsibility to do that for one another so that we can go back and do like a recall and say, hey, like I remember like this thing that you it never leaves you. Like this is the thing that always comes up for you. So why not explore what this could look like right now? And but then again, like we always have to adjust our expectations. Yeah, absolutely. Because it's I it's rarely ever gonna look like exactly what you think is gonna look like.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And again, like there's nothing wrong with that. But if you have your mind like dead set on it looking like something, well, you're gonna be disappointed.
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_03Especially as you're talking about like our responsibilities and priorities, like your family needs to be priority.
SPEAKER_00Right. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_03That's that's the order of operations here. It's like your family really does need to be priority. That doesn't mean that you can't long for something or go for something, but that has to be, you kind of have to come back to the table and have a conversation about it and like, okay, what's the next right step then to accomplish this? Um, or how can I support you as we kind of work in this direction? It just looks different. It to me, I I think about it like when we were younger, I thought, okay, this is the dream, this is what it's gonna look like. Yeah, this is how we're gonna go for it, and that's it. And then it's gonna be awesome. Oh, okay. And then I'm just, you know, crumbling under disappointment because it just doesn't look that way.
SPEAKER_05Right.
SPEAKER_03Um but it doesn't mean that it's wrong, you know, or that you have to like completely let it go, but it does, I see what you're saying, and that it sometimes it does have to just take a little bit of a back seat. Yeah. And God will bring the right time, like and confirmation. I believe like if you're praying about it and you are talking with your spouse about it and you guys are having open dialogue and and you're flexible and willing to like give and take here, you know. Right, right. Like it's it's possible, like, but I do think the responsibility is on us to do that for one another.
SPEAKER_00I think you you said it right. God does bring it back up. And almost, and I mean, I think that that's a thing that um you have to be honest with yourself if you even give God the space to do that.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00Um, the if you do, he'll bring it back up, but then it's a next step further. You're right. It's it's it's our responsibility to act on that and and say, like, okay, I'm committed to this person for better or for worse. Well, that doesn't, that's not the that's not the end. You're also committed to that person to bring up like, hey, we should go for better, or hey, this is getting worse, or you know, whichever one. You know, that like we are the ones who take the actionable steps, but God is the one who who makes us aware of them. And I think that's very, very true. He's not gonna be like, okay, what dreams do you have? I'm gonna make them all come true. Yeah. But he is gonna tell you, like, hey, you have a responsibility here.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_00And you also have a dream that I put in your heart.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And you need to, you're responsible for both of those things.
SPEAKER_03And working up the courage to go to your spouse and say, hey, like, this won't leave me alone.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Gosh, we've done that. We have so many times. And it's so those those conversations are so good though.
SPEAKER_03They are good, but they're so hard because it's exposing this vulnerability in you that it's like it's nerve-wracking. Because again, back to that whole like, what if this, what if she doesn't receive this the way that I hope she does, or what if what if she totally shoots it down? Or, you know, there's just so there's so much to it.
SPEAKER_00So I while you were speaking this, this um I had to look it up, but this um verse came to my mind. So this is Ecclesiastes 3.11. He has also set eternity in the human heart. And I this is he's talking about God has put eternity in each of our hearts, meaning we long for something more. We're always longing for something more. And whenever we're blessed with something, we still desire something more because there's there's something in us that says, like, there's always more than what we're experiencing here. Yeah. And I think what's um what I think our battle is, which we'll take on ourselves if we're not careful, is that we long for eternity. Yeah. But the things in front of us are so mortal, and they're so oftentimes they're dead, and it's so like, my goodness, like I have to take care of, you know, this bill or that bill, or I have to go to this job that I don't want to do. And, you know, th those things will get in front of us and we'll think constantly, like, life, this is life.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_00But no, there's something more in each of us. And I think what we're really talking about is will we allow our spouse or will we allow ourselves to tell our spouse that they're more than just the thing that's in front of them? They're more than just the job that they do, they're more than just, you know, the responsibilities at home that they have.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Like we do those things because we've been tasked to do those things.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00But that doesn't mean that's the beginning and end of who we are.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And so the dreams that we have, I think, not just when we're young, but the dreams that we have, even in the middle of our 30s and 40s and 50s, like I think that that's just a peak into the reality of the eternity that's been set in our hearts.
SPEAKER_04That's good. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00We can't we can't ignore those things anymore. Yeah. And we can't stop ourselves from dreaming for something more. But we we can if we're not careful. And I think that that's what I'm trying to get at, I believe, is marriage can be a um uh deterrent from all of the things that like we're talking about. It can be a deterrent of dreaming, or it can be it in an environment where those dreams can flourish.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And you can be comfortable saying, like, I I desire something. Will you help me?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00You know?
SPEAKER_03And that's I mean, it takes courage, it takes real courage to go to someone and or not just someone, but to go to your spouse and trust them with that.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Be especially if it's something that you've just kind of kept to yourself for a long time that's not left you alone. Right. That you're like, oh, it I mean, it's so uncomfortable. Right. It's so uncomfortable. But I oftentimes, I mean, that is where we grow. That's where we grow in the really uncomfortable, in the tension, in yeah in the space that feels really like, oh God, this is impossible. Yeah, exactly. And he's like, I got you. This is okay.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. There's something too, when if whenever you've told me something that um where you are willing to say, hey, I had noticed that you light up when you talk about this. And you're always it always comes back to this with you. Why don't you like look into it? Yeah. All of a sudden, for me, my mind is like, oh my gosh, like, okay.
SPEAKER_03It's like that permission almost of just like you do have permission to explore this.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. You know, it's it's almost it it is. Uh it's because we we have so much that is on us, everybody does.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00That we're responsible for and make sure everybody's good. So whenever you're given the permission to like seek something out that's beyond what you're always doing, then it's almost like, oh man, I can dream again.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. You know? Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And you'll lose that quick if you don't, if you don't talk about it.
SPEAKER_03For sure.
SPEAKER_00Or if you never allow the space for it to happen. So I think it's important, I guess, is what I'm saying, is to stop and have conversation about, hey, is this everything you thought it'd be? Or is this what you were thinking marriage would become? Because you don't know when you're young, basically.
SPEAKER_03You really don't.
SPEAKER_00You think you know, but you don't.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I guess that's a lot of what we've talked about, you know, over the episodes is we we thought we knew.
SPEAKER_03We went in with one idea. And then and then life happens. Like life and it continues to happen. Yeah, absolutely. And it's not over, it's not done. And so just always I my friend, she always says this, Well, I'm holding it loosely.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Like that's so wise. It's like I'm hopeful and I'm expectant, but I'm also gonna hold this loosely because I know it's gonna change.
SPEAKER_00Well, the thing I was gonna say, the the one I I'll remember this, remember this forever. Uh someone told me um it's always good to have a plan so you have something to deter from. And if you just if you have a plan with your partner, like, hey, this is what I'm gonna go for, awesome. When it doesn't work, then you both are on the same page. Okay, we have to shift from here.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00But if you never know, then you're just always gonna be in some chaotic mood and like you're never gonna know, is this working? Is this not working? Yeah. And you're always these are always gonna remain dreams until you make them into goals. Yeah. Um, okay, and so I would just I was just wanting to say this to everybody listening. One of the saddest things in marriage is when two people stop envisioning their future together. I think when people are not thinking about, hey, what do we want to do together, they're just asking for it. They're asking for this to not work. They're asking for cynicism just to flourish in their marriage. Yeah. They're asking for the other one to start looking the other way. Wow. When they don't start taking seriously, like what do we want to build together? If the conversation is never had and it's always just assumptions being made, it gets sour and it gets um sad. And it's it's it's just it's the difference between calling out the eternity and the other person and allowing the now, the responsibility, the things that we have to do, you know, the the work that's you know right in front of us to rule the marriage. Yeah. And love is bigger than all of that. And uh relationship can go much further than the than just you know checking off boxes that other people have made for you.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I think that if if you just put in the work to stop um being ran by those things every once in a while and start talking about dreams again, yeah. Then and give give your spouse permission to say, like, I I have a dream. I mean, I have something that I want to do. I have something that I've longed for for a long time.
SPEAKER_03Man, that's so good. And that brings me to our rapid fire.
SPEAKER_00Holy heavens!
SPEAKER_03Holy heavens, here we are. Here we are.
SPEAKER_00Listen, if you want to be a DJ, is all I'm saying.
SPEAKER_03Well, okay, Rapid. Then then we might have to make some investments. No. Um I mama needs a turntable. Okay. Um, all right. Okay, let's see. What's the funniest job title that actually fits me?
SPEAKER_00That actually fits you? Job title that fits you?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I have to come up with one on the spot in a rapid fire situation that fits you.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I don't know that I'm gonna be able to do this.
SPEAKER_00Um, oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_03Um it's so much pressure.
SPEAKER_00There's a lot of pressure. There's a lot of terms that I could pick from. Um, I don't know what that means.
SPEAKER_03I I made a face out. You did make a face. Wait, what do you mean?
SPEAKER_00Uh oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_03Funniest job title that actually fits you?
SPEAKER_00Fits me. I'm gonna say I don't even know what I would say to that. Still formulating the title in my mind. I think okay, okay. I'm gonna go with this. It is, I'm gonna I think I have it. The the mixed master highlight reel.
SPEAKER_02Whoa. I love it.
SPEAKER_03Mix master highlight reel.
SPEAKER_00That's gonna be it. Here it is. Mixmaster because you just got your DJ, you got your DJ license. Put that on my resume, and highlight reel because you work in social media stuff. Yeah, and so it's a lot of people's highlight reels. And also, like you want to get your hair done for your highlight reel. That's something you you do as well.
SPEAKER_02That's what I got. So good.
SPEAKER_00What do you think?
SPEAKER_02For you, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_02No, I don't, it's okay. We can end up with a lot of things. No, no, no.
SPEAKER_00You gotta say something. I and good luck because I do a lot of random things all the time. So maybe Okay.
SPEAKER_03Captain Rando. No, I mean, Captain Rando.
SPEAKER_01That's gonna be your job title. How confident you just said that. Okay, Captain Rando. That was the best.
SPEAKER_03Well, you do have a lot of talent, Stoller.
SPEAKER_01Thank you so much. Thank you. I appreciate you.
SPEAKER_03Hey, you know what? Hey, keep the dream alive. Let's go dream together.
SPEAKER_00Let's dream. I am sleepy. Hey, I could go take a nap. Take a nap. Power nap. Then we'll talk about it.
SPEAKER_02It's 9 30. When can we take our nap?
SPEAKER_00Oh, thanks guys for joining us this week. A we'll see you next time.
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