Why So Serious: The Science And Joy Of Fun

Tired of treating exhaustion like a trophy? We’re flipping the script on busyness and making the case for something radical: fun as a daily, deliberate practice. Not as a reward, not as a guilty treat, but as biological fuel that protects your mind, strengthens your relationships, and brings your best ideas to the surface.

We explore how hustle culture and that nagging inner critic convinced us to trade joy for productivity points—and why that trade is burning us out. Drawing on Dr. Stuart Brown’s research on play, we unpack the real costs of play deprivation and show how small, joyful acts can reset your nervous system. From endorphins and dopamine to oxytocin and laughter, you’ll hear how play changes your brain chemistry and creates safety, focus, and connection. This isn’t theory for theory’s sake; it’s a blueprint for feeling human again.

Then we get practical. You’ll learn a four-step playbook to reclaim joy without abandoning real life: write yourself a permission slip, excavate your childhood fun, build a Play Menu that fits any schedule, and take the Useless Hobby Challenge to value process over outcome. We share examples you can steal today—five-minute fun snacks, thirty-minute appetizers, and two-hour mains—plus ways to invite others in so that play becomes the superglue of your friendships and teams. By the end, you’ll have a simple homework assignment: pick one small, pointless, wonderful thing and do it now.

If this conversation helps you breathe a little deeper, share it with a friend who needs a break, subscribe for more practical mindset shifts, and leave a quick review so others can find it. Your life is happening right now—ready to live it in full color?

Transcript

Why So Serious

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Are you tired of being around people who are way too boring and serious? Or better yet, are you one of those people? Well, in this episode today, we will talk about the benefits of simply having fun. So let me ask this crucial question. Why are we so serious? Welcome to the Do to Expire podcast. I'm your host, Corey Kennard. Now, let's grow. Think about your to-do list, not the one on your desk or on your phone, but the one that's running on a constant loop in the back of your mind. You know those emails, the project deadlines, the presentation that you need to build, the laundry that seems to multiply on its own, the pressure to eat healthier, exercise more, to be a better parent, a better partner, a better child, a better employee, blah, blah, blah. Right? All of that. You know, the constant low-grade hum of things you should be doing. That's what I want you to think about right now. You see, it's a state of being we've come to call adulting. And it is utterly exhausting. You know, we live in a society that has turned busyness into a competitive sport. We wear our exhaustion like a badge of honor. We've collectively uh bought into the myth that a successful adult life is a serious one. One that is optimized, one that is productive and efficient. Well, I want to challenge that way of thinking today with this episode entitled, Why So Serious? Now, before we get started, I want to let you know that this episode is presented in partnership with the No Negative Energy Life Brand, a life coaching resource and media edutainment outlet where we help human beings to consciously bring to the surface and ultimately eradicate the impact of negative thoughts and intentionally replace them with healthy ways of living that will increase one's ability to thrive. Check us out at no negative.energy. That's no negative, all one phrase. Now let me ask you a question that might make you feel a little uncomfortable. When was the last time you truly played? I don't mean watching Netflix to numb out. I don't mean scrolling through social media. I certainly don't mean something you did for your kids that you secretly found tedious. I mean an activity you engaged in with no other purpose than the joy of the act itself. An activity where you lost track of time. If you're struggling to answer, guess what? Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. You are in the majority. But don't get too happy about that because this is actually a crisis. You see, we have forgotten a fundamental biological imperative. We think play is a luxury, a childish distraction we graduate from. But I'm here to argue that fun is not a luxury. It is a necessity. It's as crucial for our health as sleep, nutrition, and exercise. And our chronic neglect of it is at the root of our epidemic of burnout. As the philosopher Plato said nearly 2,400 years ago, life must be lived as play. Somewhere along the way, we lost that memo, and today we're going to find it again. First, let's talk about how we got here. How did we become so allergic to fun? You know, it wasn't a simple event, but I believe it has been a slow creep of cultural and internal pressures. You see, externally, we're living in the age of the hustle culture, where you feel like you have to grind all the time to be successful. Social media feeds are filled with people monetizing their hobbies, grinding at 5 a.m., and turning every passion into a side hustle. The message is clear. If it's not productive, it's not valuable. We've inherited a cultural mindset born out of the Industrial Revolution, something that a lot of us don't even know or understand, even when it happened, right? We're just so lost when it comes to this. But this is a mindset that values output above all else. Time is money, and fun doesn't show up on the balance sheet, nor does it play a role in paying the bills. But the most powerful force is internal. You see, it goes on in that space between your ears, that nagging voice in your head, the tyranny of the shoulds. Right? The moment you think about picking up a guitar or a paintbrush, it chimes in. You should be answering emails. You should be cleaning the garage. You should be doing something more productive than that. You see, this inner critic convinces us that rest must be earned, and play is a form of procrastination. You know, Dr. Stuart Brown, the founder of the National Institute for Play, and one of the world's leading researchers on this topic, calls the opposite of play not work, but depression. You see, his research is groundbreaking. He studied thousands of individuals, including Nobel Peace Prize winners, artists, and more alarmingly, CEOs, and found out a strong correlation between success and a childhood rich in free play. He conducted studies on inmates, as a matter of fact, in a Texas prison, and found a chillingly common trait among convicted murderers, a severe chronic deprivation of play in childhood. To that I say, whoa, did you hear that? You see, when we deny our need for play, we are starving a vital part of our humanity. We become rigid, anxious, and disconnected. And according to Dr. Brown's study, we find ourselves isolated. I mean, literally isolated from society like those in that Texas prison. So let's move from the problem to the solution. Because that's what we're really looking for today, right? You see, this isn't just about feeling good, it's about functioning better on every conceivable level. And for this, the science, my friends, is overwhelming. You know, I believe it was in the 1980s that there was a commercial that shows a man in the kitchen, and he asks if there is anyone out there who still does not understand the dangers of drug abuse. Then he holds up an egg and says, This is your brain. Then he looks at a frying pan and says, This is drugs. He then cracks open the egg, fries the contents, and then says, This is your brain on drugs. Finally, he looks up at the camera and he asks, any questions? Uh, excuse me. Yes, I have a question. What does your brain look like on fun? Can we talk about that? You see, that's what we're not getting to. You see, now now when you're stressed, your brain is drenched in the hormone cortisol. It puts you in a perpetual state of fight or flight. Now, this is useful if you're being chased by a tiger, right? But what if the tiger lives with you every day? You see, this puts you in a chronic state of fight or flight. And chronic cortisol impairs memory, weakens the immune system, and leads to burnout. But there is good news. Play is the biological antidote. Engaging in a joyful, purposeless activity triggers a cascade of beneficial neurochemicals. You see, you get a surge of endorphins, our body's natural positive drug, which produces feelings of pleasure and reduces pain. And then you get a hit of dopamine, right? I like saying it, dopamine. You get a hit of that, the motivational molecule, I call it, which enhances focus and our sense of reward. And when you play with others, your brain releases oxytocin, the bonding hormone, which fosters feelings of trust, connection, and safety. You know, my wife and I have experienced this at a comedy show that we attended, where we openly and freely communicated with people at our table because our laughter brought us closer together with complete strangers. You see, laughter itself has been shown to increase oxygen intake, cool down our stress response, and even temporarily relieve pain. So instead of laughing until it hurts, let's try laughing until it stops hurting. Next, I want to say this. Fun is a catalyst for creativity and learning. The great Albert Einstein famously said, play is the highest form of research. Now, he wasn't being poetic when he said this. He was literally being literal. You see, when our minds are relaxed and engaged in play, we activate a part of our brain called the default mode network. Now, this network is responsible for mind wandering, imagination, and making connections between ideas that seemingly don't go together. It's the neurological birthplace of the aha moment. Now, if you've ever had your best idea in the shower or on a walk like me, you've experienced this. I mean, you weren't actively trying to solve the problem. You were in a state of play. And your brain was free to be brilliant. Companies like Google and 3M have famously integrated this principle with their 20% time or 15% culture, where employees are encouraged to spend company time on projects of their own interest. They know that innovation isn't born from rigid focus, but from curiosity and play. Finally, my friends, play is what I call the superglue of human connection. The social anthropologist Thorstein Veblen noted that our most profound bonds are formed through joint idleness. Okay, you're probably saying, What in the heck did he just say? Stay with me for a moment. Think about your closest friends. Your bond was likely forged not in a business meeting, but through shared laughter, pointless adventures, and moments of shared vulnerability that play facilitates. I know that this has been true for me personally. And when you pause to reflect on this thought, I guarantee you you're gonna come to the same conclusion. You see, play strips away titles and pretense. It's the primal language of trust. So what's the practical playbook for reclaiming fun? Knowing fun is good for us, and actually doing it are two different things. It feels awkward at first, right, when you've been so serious in life, like trying to speak a language you you haven't used in decades. So let's build that practical playbook now. Step one in your playbook. Listen to me carefully. The first step is this give yourself a permission slip. Now, this is the most crucial step because you must consciously and deliberately give yourself permission to be unproductive. I know that doesn't sound right, but acknowledge the voice of guilt and then politely tell that voice to take a hike. You see, you can even write it down on a piece of paper and stick it on your wall. I, your name, have permission to spend time on activities that have no purpose other than my own joy. This isn't an indulgence, it's a strategic act of self-preservation. Fun with a purpose. The second step is this conduct a fun self-dig. Let me say that again. Conduct a fun self-dig. See, your your personal formula for fun is already inside of you, but it's buried under years of responsibility. We need to excavate it, right? We need to bring it to the surface. Now, this may not sound like fun, but ask yourself these three questions and write down the answers. As a kid, what could I do for hours? Was it building Legos or superheroes? Riding, uh bike to explore? Did I play Atari 2600 Pac-Man for hours like me? You know, that's what I did. I know I'm telling my age, but yeah, that was my thing. And so, so, so, so with those questions, what did you collect? Did you collect rocks, stamps, or stickers? What were you curious about? Outer space, dinosaurs, how things worked? I know I said three questions, but I'm giving you a lot more, right? What did you do when you were bored as a child? Did you invent games? I know I did. I just made up stuff. Did you put on shows? Did you did you draw on the walls that made your parents very upset? Uh I know your parents didn't think that was fun, right? Uh, but this isn't about them. It's about you. You see, this list is your personal treasure map. The adult version of riding your bike might be mountain biking or taking a spin class. The adult version of drawing might be a watercolor class, painting with a twist, or just doodling during meetings. I've done that before, yeah, I confess. So that's step two, right? Conduct a self-dig. Step three is this create a play menu. Now I like this one. You see, uh, the excuse that I don't have time is a huge one. So let's dismantle it. Create a menu of fun, like activities that are characterized by time and energy that they require. This way, you always have fun as an option. Let's call let's call this one the five-minute fun snacks. Right? When you're waiting for a meeting to start or the kettle to boil, you can listen to one favorite upbeat song and dance like no one is watching. You can solve a single puzzle on your phone like Seduco or Wordle, right? You can watch a funny two-minute video. You can doodle on a sticky note. You can do all of that, right? Now, now then there's the 30-minute appetizers, right? You move from the snacks to the appetizers. So for your lunch break or after work, you can take a walk in the park without your phone. Work on a jigsaw puzzle. Practice a musical instrument for 20 to 30 minutes, maybe. Read a chapter of a book just for pleasure. Then we get to the two-hour main course. Right? For weekends and evenings, this is where we use this menu item. We play a board game with friends or family. We try a new recipe you've never made before. You visit a museum or an art gallery or a botanical garden. You take on a small DIY or do-it-yourself project. These are great ideas to place on your fun menu. And then after you create your menu, this is what you have to do, right? Step four is this take the useless hobby challenge. Right? Hashtag useless hobby challenge. I challenge you to pick up one new skill this month with a single rule. It must be absolutely an opportunity for you to have zero potential to use it as a side hustle. It must be utterly, gloriously useless in a productive sense, right? Like learning how to juggle. Master three simple magic tricks. Learn to identify five constellations or ten local birds in your area. Learn how to use calligraphy to write. I mean, I know people have gotten away from writing and cursive and all of that, but this could be a great activity. These are all powerful acts of rebellion against the hustle cult of productivity. You see, it retrains your brain to value process over outcome. So in this, we began by talking about our endless to-do list. And it's true, life will always be filled with serious obligations. There will always be bills. There will always be deadlines. There will always be difficulties. But this is not about erasing responsibility. It's about infusing our responsible lives with resilience, creativity, and connection that only play can provide. The great playwright George Bernard Shaw wrote, We don't stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop playing. You see, play is the fountain of youth that we've all been looking for. It's the spark that ignites our creativity, the glue that binds our relationships, and the balm that soothes our stressed-out souls. It's not found in a fancy vacation or an expensive gadget, but it's found in those small moments of purposeless, purposeless joy, purposeless activity, things that seem to have no meaning to anybody else, but it has meaning and impact for you. So I'll leave you with the same assignment I started with. But now I hope you understand its profound importance. Your homework, yes, your homework. I know you didn't want to hear that. You're like, wait a minute, we're getting serious now. Your homework is to go find one small, pointless, wonderful thing to do. Dust off that old guitar. Buy a pack of crayons and color all day. Put on some music and dance like an idiot in your living room. I mean, go crazy. Stop waiting for the work to be done. Stop waiting for permission. Your life is happening now. Go live it in full color. So right now, I want you to reflect on your life. Are you prioritizing what truly matters? Are you acting with intention or letting time slip away? Since we are all due to expire, the question is, what will you do with your life between now and then? I want to thank you for listening today. I'm your host, Corey Kennedy.