Failing Forward

Think back to the most spectacular mess you’ve ever made. The one that still makes you wince. Now imagine that moment wasn’t proof you’re broken, but proof your brain is learning. Host Corey Kennard walks through why failure hurts so much, why we get stuck, and how to turn a setback into a launch pad without pretending it didn’t happen.

We dig into the behavioral science behind the sting, including how the anterior cingulate cortex functions like an internal alarm system that reacts fast when you blow it. From there, we name the psychological traps that quietly keep smart people frozen: avoidance that buries feedback, the blame game that protects ego, and rumination that turns a single event into a personal identity. If you’ve ever replayed a mistake at 3 a.m., you’ll recognize the pattern.

Then we build the rebound. We talk cognitive reframing and Carol Dweck’s growth mindset research, plus a practical “failure file” approach that treats missteps like experiments: distance the ego, isolate the one variable that broke, and keep what still works. We also explore psychological safety and why teams and individuals recover faster when mistakes can be surfaced without humiliation. Finally, we lay out a simple comeback sequence you can use immediately: acknowledge, analyze, act, and get back in the game.

If this helped you, subscribe to Due To Expire, share the episode with someone who’s being too hard on themselves, and leave a quick review so more people can learn to fail forward. What’s one mistake you’re ready to turn into data today?

Transcript

Cold Open On Epic Failure

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Think about the single biggest, most spectacular mess you've ever made in your life. Maybe you blew a massive opportunity, completely destroyed a relationship, or made a decision so incredibly bad that you looked around a room for hidden cameras. Got it in your head? Good. Now take a deep breath. Let me ask you a question. And this question just might change the way that you look at the rest of your life. What if that exact moment where you failed wasn't the end of your story? What if it was the absolute best thing that ever happened to your brain? Welcome to the Do to Expire podcast. Today we are talking about the universal human face plant. We're diving into the heavy behavioral science of why it hurts so bad to drop the ball, the psychological traps that keep us stuck in the mud, and the exact proven strategy to turn your worst setback into a launch pad. Because let's face it, we all come with an expiration date, and we don't have time to play it safe. So grab your coffee, drop your defenses, and let's learn how to master the art of bouncing back after what appears to be an epic failure and embrace failing forward. I'm your host, Corey Kennard. Now, let's grow.energy. That's no negative, all one phrase.

Failure Is The Engine

SPEAKER_00 2:36

The first thing that I want to tackle today is the universal human face plant. I want to start with a quick exercise. Raise your hand if you've ever made a mistake, or if you've completely blown a presentation or made a decision so spectacularly bad that you looked around for the hidden cameras, as I said in the opening. If your hand isn't up, you are either lying, you're a robot, or you haven't left the house since 2008. You see, failure is our most universal human experience. Yet we treat it like a contagious disease. We hide it, we rename it, we call it growth opportunities or pivots, and we pretend like it didn't happen. But today, as a human behavioral enthusiast, I want to tell you something that could be very liberating for you. Failure is not the opposite of success, it is the actual engine of it. Now please note that with this there is what is called the biology of blundering.

The Biology Of Blundering

SPEAKER_00 4:05

You ever wonder why failing feels like physical pain? Because to your brain, it is. Behavioral research shows that when we make a mistake, our anterior cingulate cortex, the brain's oh crap, alarm system, fires instantly. It triggers the same neurological pathway as stubbing your toe. So you actually feel it. And then from an evolutionary standpoint, failure meant getting eaten by a saber-toothed tiger. Today, failure means replying all to a company-wide email with a spicy comment talking about your boss. The tiger is gone, but the panic remains the same. So why do we fail to learn? And what are the psychological traps? Before we talk about how to rebound from a failure, we have to look at why we get stuck in the mud in the first place.

Three Traps That Keep You Stuck

SPEAKER_00 5:19

When we fail, our ego immediately goes into the what I call the witness protection program. We fall into three classic behavioral traps. The first trap is the sour grapes or ostrich effect. When a project fails, our first instinct is to bury our heads in the sand. A famous study published in Psychological Science looked at the failing to learn from failure phenomenon. Researchers found that people often tune out when given negative feedback because it threatens their self-esteem. As a result, they actually learn less from a failure than they do from a success. It's like stepping on a scale, seeing a number that you don't like, and deciding the scale is broken. Or wait a minute, the floor is uneven, and gravity is just heavier on Tuesdays. The second trap is this: the blame game. When I fail, it's because of external circumstances. You know, it's because of the weather or the traffic or the economy. But when you fail another person outside of yourself and you're pointing at them, it's because of a fundamental flaw in their character. If I drop a cup of coffee, it's because the floor was slick. But if you drop a cup of coffee, you are so clumsy. You need to go to see maybe a neurologist or something. Get that checked out. The third trap is what we call the doom loop. Instead of analyzing the mistake, we replay it like a bad horror movie in our minds at 3 a.m. every day. Rumination paralyzes us. It turns a temporary event that maybe I failed this test into an identity trip. I'm a failure because I failed the test.

Growth Mindset And Error Reframing

SPEAKER_00 7:58

Now let's look at what we call the science of the rebound and how we actually learn as humans. So how do we break this doom loop? How do we get out of this cycle? What separates people who collapse under failure from those who use it as a launching pad? Well, it comes down to deliberate, scientifically proven behavioral shifts. One shift is the power of error climate, cognitive reframing. How we talk about failure dictates the recovery. In research, Dr. Carol DeWick's foundational research on growth mindset shows that individuals who believe abilities can be developed view failure as data. It's information and not a verdict. Furthermore, neurological research using EEG tracking shows that individuals with a growth mindset show a massive spike in brain activity immediately after making an error. Their brains are actively processing the mistake to fix it. People with a fixed mindset, their brains literally shut down to protect their feelings. Another shift is the failure file method.

The Failure File Method

SPEAKER_00 9:43

We need to treat our missteps like scientists treat failed lab experiments. We do this by distancing the ego and isolating the variable. When it comes down to distancing the ego, we need to ask ourselves, if my best friend made this mistake, what advice would I give them? You see, as humans, we are remarkably smarter when advising others than when panicking over ourselves. And then there's isolating the variable. Don't throw out the whole project. Find the one specific pivot point that failed and keep the rest. We'll talk a little bit more about that process in a second. But the final shift that I want to share with you is this psychological safety and the post-mortem. In organizations, bouncing back requires a culture where you won't be executed for making a mistake. Google's famous Project Aristotle spent years studying what made their best teams successful. The number one variable wasn't IQ, it wasn't experience, or it wasn't funding. It was psychological safety. The belief that you will not be punished or humiliated for speaking up, asking questions, or even making a mistake. This is the type of environment where humans can thrive. And then finally, there is the anatomy of a masterful comeback.

Acknowledge Analyze Act To Relaunch

SPEAKER_00 11:42

How do we practically construct a rebound? It follows a three-step behavioral sequence. Acknowledge, analyze, and then act. This is the piece that I want to share with you that coincides with isolating the variable. You see, the first is to acknowledge. Own the mistake without self-flagellation or putting yourself down. Own it, acknowledge it for what it is. And then you take that acknowledgement, you look at that mistake, that failure, and you analyze it. Extract the data. Why did I fail? What broke? What did I miss? And then act on it. Change the one variable that you have now analyzed and isolated. Change that one variable, that thing that caused the failure, and launch again immediately and see how things work out.

Prattfall Effect And Resilience Muscle

SPEAKER_00 13:05

Did you know that failures actually make you look more human? They can actually cause a better connection with other humans. This is known in psychology as the Prattfall effect. Research shows that highly competent people who make a minor mistake or experience a visible blunder are perceived as more likable and relatable than those who appear flawless. Perfection breeds intimidation. Resilience in the face of a failure, that actually breeds connection with other human beings. You see, resilience is a muscle and not a trait. Nobody is born with a resilient or a rebound gene. Every time you fail, experience the discomfort. Extract the lesson. And try again because you are thickening the sheath around the neural pathways of resilience in your brain. You are training your brain to realize I survived that. I can surely survive this.

Closing Challenge To Fail Forward

SPEAKER_00 14:27

As I close out this episode, I want to say that we spend so much of our lives playing defense. We don't take the shot because we are terrified of the miss. We don't launch the project, we don't pitch the idea, or we don't have the tough conversation because we want to protect ourselves from the discomfort of a potential setback. My friends, please remember this. Every great strategy, every breakthrough, every medical discovery, and every resilient life is just a series of well-documented failures that someone refused to quit on. The next time you fail, and you will, perhaps even before you get out of the car today, perhaps immediately after listening to this podcast, I want you to take a deep breath. Recognize the sting for what it is. And then smile at the absurdity of being human. File the error, adjust your grip, and get back in the game. It's just the time to fail forward. Thank you for listening to me today. I'm your host, Corey Kennard.