Beer Mitzvah - RTB Ep. 13

We. Are. Back. Another episode of drinks and laughs! Enjoy! New episode every Monday!

Transcript

SPEAKER_06 0:03

It's been a long time coming, dude. We're on episode 13, boys. We finally got the uh the markings down, right? No more this time. Yep. We got the date and the title or the episode number down.

SPEAKER_03 0:14

Thirteen reasons why you should watch the podcast.

SPEAKER_06 0:16

Thirteen reasons why.

SPEAKER_03 0:17

Yep. There you go. The old broomstick in the astrick.

SPEAKER_05 0:21

Thirteen reasons why you should let someone else fuck your wife. We're gonna get straight into it. We're about to give it to you.

SPEAKER_06 0:28

Topic straight. Topic of the day.

SPEAKER_03 0:31

Cook hold Origins, the the first cuck. Cuck of the century. Has cucking been around for a hundred years or more or less? Donovan, can you can you can you tell us how long cucking has been a thing? Patient zero.

SPEAKER_05 0:45

Who is patient zero for cuck holding?

SPEAKER_03 0:47

My work laptop is just getting a beating right now. I don't have a work laptop. Dude, this is fucking pet cemetery, bro.

SPEAKER_06 0:53

There's like all types of dogs walking in and out of this bitch.

SPEAKER_03 0:57

Uh it's as roughly 1250. If you can tell me when the fuck that Shakespeare was a cuck? Uh it used to represent a husband's humiliation and ignorance of his wife's infidelity. Rooted in medieval folklore.

SPEAKER_06 1:16

So they've been cucking since day one, though. They have been cucking since day one.

SPEAKER_03 1:25

The cuck queen was used to describe the wife of an adulterous husband. It's like Fetty Womp's alter ego. That is funny to think, like we scroll down that until where it's at modern day. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_05 1:42

I feel like Dairy Queen actually would be a more fitting name.

SPEAKER_03 1:45

Modern Day. Well, it has historically referred to seven, it has evolved in modern times to often describe a consensual sexual kink in which one partner watches their spouse with another person, often featured in pornography. Who even watches that bullshit anymore? Gross. I don't watch it. I finished it. Finished it, yeah. Dude, yeah, last season was the last season trash, bro.

SPEAKER_06 2:08

Yeah. I'm all caught up. Last season was trash, dude. You guys watched the last season of porn?

SPEAKER_03 2:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 2:15

That is what I was saying. Like it started in 1250, and oddly enough, the last porn page was 1250. That's I made it there.

SPEAKER_06 2:21

Holy fuck, dude. You gotta be you're raw dog and porn. What was the season finale?

SPEAKER_03 2:25

Just like an Indian guy, a British girl in the UK.

SPEAKER_06 2:27

Oh my gosh, you can't say the R-word. Um can't say the R word, bro.

SPEAKER_03 2:32

Oh. Sorry, uh Indian guy. Whatever. I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 2:38

No, it is funny to think like uh it's like even though like cuck holding's been around forever, like somebody was like the first person to be a cuck. Like it's there's always like the first time for everything.

SPEAKER_03 2:50

And like, how are you saying, like, uh like you like you have your wife, you've been together for a while, she bears children and stuff, and eventually uh it's like well, like I love her, but I don't really like her. And it's uh you go have your date, you do the whole thing, it's like eventually it's time to go home and fuck the old lady, and it's like uh well, I don't want to. How about that guy does it? Like, what do you think about this guy? He's okay. What do you think about that guy? Yeah, and then eventually you find a lady that you're uh a guy that you're late, I don't know. I just I fucked the whole thing up, whatever.

SPEAKER_06 3:26

It's just like it's funny too. The thing, like uh, like because like now we have like text messaging, so like if I want to like needed someone to like just fucking do the deed on my wife, I can just text them. But like back in the day, because this cucking's been around since 1250, it's like where they just sent out a pigeon. He's like the first pigeon to come back. Like, yeah, we found the guy in this town. Yeah, it's like down for it.

SPEAKER_05 3:45

Put on a newsletter, it's in it's in. Did that cut out? We just we just got a s we got cyber attacked.

SPEAKER_03 3:53

I hope that cut out because I completely fumbled my own topic hard.

SPEAKER_05 3:57

It's still recording.

SPEAKER_07 3:58

I might just have to wait for Wi-Fi to kick up on this one. Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_05 4:02

The uh the cuck hold, the cuckold terrorist agency, known as Kamos, just cyber attacked us. Yeah, what's going on?

SPEAKER_07 4:16

The rain. We were getting too deep in the cuck lore.

SPEAKER_05 4:19

Yeah, we're touching parts of the internet. Damn, dude.

SPEAKER_06 4:22

I paid my bills this month, bro. I swear I did. This is not good.

SPEAKER_03 4:28

What's going on? So it's just like you think the guy at the Renfest that gets uh tomato stone in his face is also letting me do fuck his wife. Yeah. Just hitting a sheet of plywood.

SPEAKER_05 4:44

Ow! The better your accuracy, the harder I get.

SPEAKER_03 4:47

Yeah, these splinters in my cock are really turning me on.

SPEAKER_06 4:50

What is up with the lights right now, bro? I don't know, this has never happened before. I'm way too fucking hammered for this, bro.

SPEAKER_02 4:56

Oh yeah, I'm getting nervous.

SPEAKER_03 5:07

Do you guys have a disconnect box?

SPEAKER_06 5:10

I don't know. I don't even know what that means.

SPEAKER_03 5:12

Basically, like whatever, like uh instead of your electronics taking the hit, it'll just kind of blow up this fucking box and they'll I'll blow enough to be a big box. It's like a like a force field for all your electronics in the house. That's uh that's pretty cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we have to install disconnect boxes for water heaters. Uh basically, so if like there's like lightning hits your fucking house, instead of some people so there's gas water heaters and electric water heaters for the electric ones. You have to have a disconnect box because if lightning strikes or something like that, it'll just blow up your fucking water heater. Uh so with the disconnect box, you basically just have this fucking power lines box heater. It's just a box only made to explode just in case. And that's doesn't have to be a good thing. Yeah, we have one of those. Yeah, it's just an exploding box.

SPEAKER_06 5:57

That's actually kind of fucking sick. We're lived through like fucking three hurricanes. I don't think we have one of those.

SPEAKER_03 6:02

Yeah, dude, uh, Harvey was sick.

SPEAKER_06 6:04

Harvey was sick, bro.

SPEAKER_03 6:05

I remember like maybe Pappy's house. Pretty cool.

SPEAKER_06 6:07

It's so funny. I was actually, I don't remember where I was. I think I was in uh Vegas. We were riding in like an Uber, and uh dude, oh I for totally forgot about this now that I'm mentioning it. We were riding in an Uber and on Vegas going to wherever the fuck we were going on the strip, and uh there was this lady that was like giving us the ride, and she was pump braking so hard on the brakes, dude. She was just like like we were at a red light and we were doing this shit the whole time because she kept like touching the brakes like non-stop, and she was from Hawaii, and we were like talking about like, oh, you're from Hawaii. She's like, Yeah, we're from Hawaii or Japan, maybe it was Japan, I don't remember. But she said that had earthquakes that'd make more sense. She said I had she had earthquakes all the time, and I was like, Are earthquakes scary? Because I think but me personally, like there's a bunch of like natural disasters like you could live through. I think earthquakes would be fucking terrifying. Just feeling like the the ground beneath you just like shake and everything around you is just shaking and going crazy. I think that would scare the shit out of me. But she's like, no, earthquakes aren't scary at all, like they're nothing, no big deal. She's like, I'm scared of water. She's like, like hurricanes and floods is what scares me. And then like thinking of like where we're from is like we deal with hurricanes like all the fucking time. And when a hurricane rolls through here, people are just like riding their jeeps up and down the like neighborhood, like surfing and shit. You know, John boats. Yeah, bro. They just pull out like the kayaks and shit, and they're just like having fun.

SPEAKER_03 7:25

You know, that makes sense. That the I mean, what was the biggest earthquake Japan's ever had was Hiroshima? I think.

SPEAKER_05 7:33

Yeah, that was it. That was yeah, there are two of them back to back. Actually, it was crazy.

SPEAKER_03 7:38

May not have been an earthquake, but it shook the world.

SPEAKER_06 7:41

It shook the world, hit them with the wrath of God, bro. Yeah. Two times. Yeah. Hit him with the wrath of God. Dude, how bad do you have to be acting up in class to get hit with the wrath of God twice, bro? I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 7:52

I'm just glad Naruto survived. If he would have died, I would have been so sad.

SPEAKER_06 7:57

It's like a real life anime fight. Dude, imagine like you live in Japan and you're like arguing with your neighbor, and you know they all know like kung fu and shit over there, and they hit you with some shit like this, and then a fucking bomb just drops on them. It's just like real life anime. We really did that. Is that Gaza?

SPEAKER_00 8:16

Is that Nagasaki?

SPEAKER_06 8:18

Well, we can't say that. Nagasaki?

SPEAKER_00 8:21

Oh, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_06 8:22

Can't say that N-word. There's a part of me that I don't know if nukes are even real.

SPEAKER_03 8:29

Nukes are real. I'm not sure if I'm sorry. Uh I didn't mean nukes are real. I meant nukes is real. Uh uh. That didn't even fucking really make that much sense.

SPEAKER_06 8:43

No, I got it. It didn't make it make perfect sense, actually. Yeah. That was good. That was binger.

SPEAKER_03 8:47

You like that?

SPEAKER_06 8:48

I like that one.

SPEAKER_03 8:49

I just stuff.

SPEAKER_06 8:52

No, I just like I don't know. Like, we learn about the shit in like history about like Nagasaki and Hiroshima, but like if it weren't for YouTube, like would we actually know? Like if these nukes were really dropping or not? Are they actually real?

SPEAKER_05 9:05

Yeah, could could that just be a just a big ass bomb?

SPEAKER_06 9:08

But the well the thing is that they they lie about everything.

SPEAKER_03 9:13

That's the thing, is that they like they like test nukes.

SPEAKER_06 9:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:17

Show me where. That should be like uh that should be like the Grand Canyon. Be like, oh, this is where they tested the nuke.

SPEAKER_05 9:23

That's what I would say. Yeah, just drop it in there. Yeah, just drop it right in there.

SPEAKER_03 9:27

Yeah, like good. I want to visit. Well, I guess like you probably can't visit wherever they tested a nuke. But what the fuck is it?

SPEAKER_06 9:33

If I was in charge of the government, I would just tell people the Grand Canyon was just like the result of like the meteor that killed the dinosaurs. Oh I would like make up some elaborate shit. No one ever fucking like asked questions.

SPEAKER_03 9:43

Yeah, they don't want you to know. No one really knows. They don't want you to know.

SPEAKER_06 9:50

I thought it was in like South America. We nuked Africa.

SPEAKER_07 9:52

Time to Google.

SPEAKER_06 9:53

I thought it was in South America. Where do the meteors are? Dude, that makes sense.

SPEAKER_03 9:55

I now understand why they're so fucking rowdy all the time. I didn't know we fucking nuked them. I know we nuked Africa. We nuked Africa. Keep it down over there.

SPEAKER_06 10:04

Yeah, the music's too loud. They had a movie playing. That's what happened. They wouldn't shut the fuck up during the movie, dude. The Yucatan Peninsula in Mexico. What'd I say, bro? I fucking know a ball, dude. Oh, we nuked Mexicans? It's literally the Gulf of Mexico. We nuked Mexicans. It's like a fuck off.

SPEAKER_05 10:24

Butters, get the fuck out of here. Butters, you're an incel. No, I'm kidding. That's not my dog. No, he's an incel. He's a fucking dickhead. I like Mexico took getting bombed, like uh, like you know, like Hydra from the Marvel movies, like cut off one head, two wool shot take its place. He's like, well, fuck even harder, man.

SPEAKER_06 10:39

We'll replace them all. I don't know. They're repopulating like crazy, brother. It's like they repopulate more than the Muslims do, I feel like. They get over here and they just start pumping them out. I'm being so fucking racist right now.

SPEAKER_05 10:54

I mean, I if you if you looked at it statistically, like, yes, they do have like more like more kids per capita. They uh that is like a Christian values thing though, also. Like, just like if you're fearful. Like, uh, yeah, even like the Eastern European countries that are like super, super Christian, but they're like Orthodox Christian, like they have more kids per capita also. So it's like not that's probably they'll get married younger and shit like that.

SPEAKER_06 11:20

I don't know. I don't think I could ever we were talking about this actually a couple days ago, bro. Fucking Peyton's like she's talking about having cats kids and stuff right now. And like, oh I'm sure like I'll have kids. Like, I'll probably have like one or two, probably two. I don't want to have one, but I'll probably have two. But like the people who pump out like ten kids, I just don't get it. Like, what is the point of having ten kids? What are you trying to do?

SPEAKER_03 11:41

You can't if you have ten kids, there's no way you have a relationship with all of them. No, like some of them are just kind of like that. It's like having like if your kids have friends.

SPEAKER_06 11:49

I would fumble my children's name, like non-stop.

SPEAKER_07 11:51

Yeah, some people do it just for the fucking government money. Well, that's back to the Mexican Catholics, bro.

SPEAKER_06 11:56

That's like that's that's that's back to square one. That's what they're doing it for, bro.

SPEAKER_07 12:01

They don't believe in birth control, that's why they fucking just let them out and then they're stuck with them.

SPEAKER_03 12:06

They certainly do not believe in birth control.

SPEAKER_05 12:08

Just name them after fucking uh uh dead presidents because you're getting money off them. Alright. Little Thomas, little Benji, Benji gives them.

SPEAKER_03 12:19

They really only got a fucking dozen.

SPEAKER_06 12:23

I couldn't do it, bro. Imagine like, you know, you get a lot of the one-on-one time with your kid. It's the shit, right? Yeah, it's a good thing. Imagine like now divide that into like 10.

SPEAKER_03 12:34

Yeah, 10 kids. Yeah. I mean, at that point you're kind of just like running a small company at your house.

SPEAKER_06 12:40

And it's just like coworkers be like, hey, well, it's like the way I look at it is like if you have one kid, like there's a good chance that your kid's gonna hate you. Yeah. For not having kids you don't spend time with them.

SPEAKER_03 12:52

They won't know you enough to hate you. Oh, yeah. Oh literally, it's like the you're the team. It's like, yeah, dude, that's that's the man right there that did all this? He's running this whole fucking show. Hey, I'll work for him.

SPEAKER_06 13:05

He's pretty great to me. Yeah, how often do you have to fuck, too, to get like 10 kids, bro? How often do you have to fuck?

SPEAKER_03 13:11

Because it's not to get 10 kids in a reasonable amount of time, you have to start fucking as soon as the baby is born.

SPEAKER_06 13:16

And yeah, because that's the thing. It's like you bro, like and that's that's you shoot one shot, that usually doesn't get the job done. Like statistically speaking. Like, if you shoot one shot, that's usually not gonna do it.

SPEAKER_03 13:26

That's that's the thing. When people like try for kids, it it takes a while, but when you're not trying, it's like here's here's a kid.

SPEAKER_05 13:32

Yeah, or it's the law of attraction, you know.

SPEAKER_03 13:34

Yeah, no, my You can get what you're not trying for. I won't say that. Um But yeah, yeah, you can get what you're not trying for. Yeah, I I didn't plan on having a kid uh at this point in my life and now I have a three-year-old. Yeah, but you're bumping a lot though. A fair amount, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 13:50

Okay, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, like if you're bumping a lot, like so if you're bumping a lot and you have one kid, like how many times do you have to fucking bump to have ten kids, dude?

SPEAKER_03 13:59

You gotta you gotta bump a lot. You kind of have I can't say that.

SPEAKER_05 14:04

You found the only girl in a suburban town that's not on birth control.

SPEAKER_03 14:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 14:08

You just find that I can't say that either. I see why people play the lottery.

SPEAKER_06 14:15

Whenever you were growing up, oh never mind, you didn't have a dad. Casey. My dad used to always talk to me about like, oh man, when I win the lottery, if I win the lottery, when I win the lottery, like I had this conversation with my dad like a hundred times about like what he would do when he would win the lottery. Yeah, and like he was just always talking about like the first thing he would always say is like I'm gonna buy a fucking boat. I'm like, you dumbass, you have a fucking boat. Like you fucking idiot. You have a fucking boat, dude. How about you get back in touch with your other children? How about that? How do you search down your channel?

SPEAKER_03 14:45

That's always yeah, that's always a good thing to get in touch with the people you created.

SPEAKER_06 14:50

If I came up on topic, bro. If I just won the lottery and came up on an absolute bag, no one's gonna get in touch with me.

SPEAKER_03 14:56

No, no one's gonna touch with me. No, I sure as fuck wouldn't be here every week. If you won lotto? If I won the lottery, no, you guys would never see me again. Oh, you would never see me again if you won the fucking lotto?

SPEAKER_06 15:07

That's fucked up, Casey. Don't buy a ticket.

SPEAKER_03 15:09

No, dude, I'm just kidding. Yeah, bro. I'm just kidding. You guys would see me every day because I wouldn't have a job and I'd be bored and look for things to do. I'd give you guys a bunch of money so you guys could like be rich with me.

SPEAKER_06 15:20

Dude, if I was on my Zuckerbag shit, bro, I would have to go.

SPEAKER_05 15:22

Zuckerbag. No fucking. You know who hasn't been seen in a while is uh Jeffrey Epstein, aka Palm Beach Pete. Palm Beach Pete.

SPEAKER_02 15:30

Palm Beach Pete.

SPEAKER_05 15:31

Palm Beach Pete. Educate me on this because I thought this was all AI. I'm I'm I'm out of the loop.

SPEAKER_03 15:35

So Palm Beach Pete is a guy who lives in a Palm Beach, Florida. Uh, where Epstein had a house and he looks exactly like Epstein.

SPEAKER_06 15:45

Like uh He does look just Yeah, he just looks like Epstein.

SPEAKER_03 15:50

His name is Palm Beach Pete. There's a video of him in a convertible where he says uh you can get away with whatever you want as long as you have powerful friends.

SPEAKER_06 15:56

Dude, that's fucking Epstein, bro.

SPEAKER_03 15:58

I'm telling you, this is uh yeah.

SPEAKER_06 16:01

I mean, two, I alright. If we're gonna go to the show.

SPEAKER_03 16:03

They need to let's go ahead and uh let's get Hollywood on the phone. Let's make an Epstein biopic.

SPEAKER_05 16:08

As soon as we start talking about Palm Beach, onto us, dog. What is going on? Well, like to play devil's advocate, uh, apparently it is very common for like a bunch of Jews to retire in Florida. And Jeffrey Epstein is Jewish.

SPEAKER_07 16:21

Jeffrey Epstein is a bit of a shit. Apparently they he owned like a mansion across the street from Epstein too.

SPEAKER_06 16:27

Dude, that guy, that's just not bro, he's just fucking stunt double. That's the dude that they had in jail. He's a Scott Atkins. What is going on, bro?

SPEAKER_05 16:34

He's he's the fucking Scott Atkins like stunt double. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:39

So you guys don't even know, but I got a superpower to where I can like freeze time. Really? And every time the power goes out, I've been running to the fridge and grabbing another beer and shoving it. Check the fridge. Check the fridge. Oh, seriously, open it. Open it, check it. Alright, will you hand me a beer, please? Will you have me a beer? That's uh that's uh I just really like it. Yeah, we should, because I got a piss anyways, and what is going on?

SPEAKER_05 17:02

Um that would be crazy. Like, you think like if someone's gonna commit some heinous crime and then like, you know, live the rest of their life somewhere, they're gonna flee the country. They're gonna go somewhere else. But now they just stay in the US.

SPEAKER_06 17:15

I mean, where the fuck would you go? How how old would uh go back to Epstein Island?

SPEAKER_05 17:21

It's the last place they look. Yeah, go back to Little St. James's. It's the classic hide-and-seek spot. Yeah, it looks like Epstein isn't it?

SPEAKER_03 17:28

By side you just pulled up, Donovan.

SPEAKER_05 17:30

How old is he? How old would Epstein be right now? Uh he's 60s, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:34

69. They said that guy's 71. I'm not Jeffrey Epstein. Video shows look alike in Palm Beach PT. Look at that picture of them. The texture of the hair, the nose. Dude, look at the like and also the the split in the lip, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the split in the lips, the lips themselves. Uh Donovan, the the image right below. Right below what you have in blue. Look at the lip. That's the exact same. There's no way they're not related, at least.

SPEAKER_06 18:00

That's fucking nuts, bro. I've never looked at them side by side before. I saw the picture when it went like viral or the clip when it went viral. Holy guacamole, that guy's a pedophile.

SPEAKER_07 18:12

They were even trying to like match the dental records like this over here.

SPEAKER_06 18:15

Oh, there it is. They had that dude bite down on a mouthpiece.

SPEAKER_03 18:18

Well, no, like just from the pictures alone. Well, you know why Jewish guys have fucked up bottom teeth, right? No, it wasn't. It's tied the the the ridges on those coins.

SPEAKER_06 18:31

They're quite tough. Dude, I saw a tweet the other day that said Reese's peanut butter cups have ridges in them because of Randy Fine. That's funny, is that so fucking good, bro? That's such a good tweet, bro. That's a great tweet. That's amazing.

SPEAKER_03 18:51

Anything with uh the ridges joke is very, very funny.

SPEAKER_06 18:54

It's so good, dude. And it's funny too, because it's like not a joke. It's like it's like true fact. You know about the ridges on the coins, right, Huey? Yeah, yeah. What is that actually? Is it because it's four? No, it's like it's like uh so back. So they used to not have like ridges on the coins, and like supposedly it was because like the Jews would like clip the edges of the coins off and shave down the silver. Oh so if they clipped enough of the edges down, they'd shave down enough of the clippings of silver and they would just have it down. Melt it down, they'd have just like excess silver. And they found out they were coin clipping to like make silver, so they put ridges on them to tell if like the coins have been like fucked with or not. So if they don't have ridges on them, it's because like a Jew clipped down the sides. And they said Reese's peanut butter clips have ridges on the side of them because of Randy Fine. He's like a Jewish congressman. He's like fat as fuck.

SPEAKER_05 19:50

That's fucking hilarious. I'm worrying about I'm worrying about history and our congressman.

SPEAKER_06 19:54

Uh dude, our congressman is our that is our history.

SPEAKER_05 19:59

How many of our congressmen do you think like shit themselves on a daily basis? They're all fucking old and just disgusting. It is pretty bad. They probably like just like hey, all right, you know how we take we take breaks for podcasts, like oh, we hit 30 minutes or like we're not smoking sick. They they take shit breaks in con in Congress.

SPEAKER_06 20:14

I don't think they take shit breaks, I think they have like diapers on.

SPEAKER_05 20:16

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, oh, we gotta alright, it's starting to smell a little bit like oh dude, the city hall is just like yeah, like they take like an applesauce and like a shit break. They're like, all right, we we need to get changed. And they bring over they they bring over Indians to change them at their desk.

SPEAKER_06 20:34

There's a part of me that wishes like I wish like I worked with this guy. Imagine like you work with Palm Beach Pete just like every day you come, you know, like because like every single time like a crazy like some like event happens, it's always like people like, yeah, I knew the guy for a long time. He was the nicest guy ever. Like I didn't think he would be that type of guy. Like, do something like this. It's like the whole time, like, yeah. I've been working with Palm Beach Pete for 15 years. That guy's been going to the island non-stop. He tells me about it. He's like, he thought he was never gonna get caught. He's been telling me about this island for 15 years, right?

SPEAKER_07 21:02

He's made the receptionist really uncomfortable from time to time.

SPEAKER_05 21:06

But what me like what all the dudes who work for him he's great, he's great, he's a chill guy, actually. He's really gonna keep it secrets. Makes a really strong cocktail. Uh Palm Beach Pete does. But uh otherwise. Palm Beach pedophile. Yeah. That's what that guy is, bro. He he's he's been palming something.

SPEAKER_06 21:23

He's been palming some beaches. Uh I don't think I could ever go to Miami. This guy lives in my what's up with everybody always wanting to like retire and go to Flor like I guess Florida itself is cool.

SPEAKER_05 21:34

That's a northeast thing because it's just so fucking cold up there. Like uh the that wedding I went to in Costa Rica, a lot of the people there were from like Boston and different parts of Massachusetts. And like I guarantee all of them have plans to get some kind of summer home or something in Florida because it's just the winters are fucking brutal and you're just over it by the time you get to that age, and they're like they're all just like I'm moving to Florida I'm moving to fucking Florida. Do they really not have seasons up there? That's like like Florida is like is like uh Valhalla to people who live in the northeast. The Jews and just people who live in the northeast because they're just sick of the fucking cold. Do they not have seasons up there? Up in the northeast? I mean they do. I'm sure there's summer.

SPEAKER_07 22:15

It's like fall and winter. Yeah, there's summer is like fucking 70 degrees. That's so nice. Actually, it's not nice.

SPEAKER_05 22:24

Well, uh, it gets like I'm sure it gets like 80, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 22:27

But they also don't have air conditioning up there. Um, my dad goes to Maine a lot. He's like, there's no AC up there at all. That's what I was talking about this the other day in uh Europe. Yeah. They don't have AC.

SPEAKER_06 22:37

Is it just like nice weather? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:39

I mean, the hottest it got, which this the hottest it got was probably 80 degrees. Being in a house with no AC at 80 degrees, it's not comfortable, but it's not unbearable. But usually that was like a a spike in temperature. Usually it's like 70s for the highs, and they they say that's hot. Like their summertime is usually around like between like 75 to 78, at least in uh like London.

SPEAKER_05 23:01

I and like it's stable too. Like it I spikes are rare. Like, you know how like our temperature up in Manhattan, New York will like make it might fluctuate like fucking 30 degrees in a day. You're like, what kind of fucking layers do I need to be wearing? Yeah. Uh yeah. Like I I wasn't when I was in Ireland, like the forecast for the whole week the whole week was like a fluctuation of like four degrees. And that's throughout the whole day. 69, dude. Yeah, 69, kind of. You've been domesticated, bro.

SPEAKER_06 23:27

Well, it's just because of the position.

SPEAKER_05 23:29

No, it's it's it's because you live with a girl now, and she probably gets really, really cold.

SPEAKER_06 23:33

She does get fucking cold. And what's up with that bullshit, dude? What's up with like all the girls talking about like that?

SPEAKER_05 23:37

What's up with all women being in?

SPEAKER_06 23:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:39

Yeah. You can't go anywhere. Bringing a fucking blanket to the movie theater. Come on.

SPEAKER_06 23:46

What the fuck is up with that bullshit?

SPEAKER_03 23:47

I mean, if we're gonna bring a blanket to the movie theater, I'm at least expecting like a hand job or something like that. Like, come on. I'm just gonna take my pants off. The the snuggie?

SPEAKER_06 23:54

Bring the snuggie to the movie theater, bro?

SPEAKER_03 23:56

Oh, dude. I wear a snuggy, I better get a touch. I used to have a snuggie. I used to actually have a snuggie. I believe it. It was cool. It's just a fucking blanket. It literally is as advertised, it's exactly what you're doing.

SPEAKER_07 24:08

It's also like the cheapest material you can find. Yeah, it's like fleece.

SPEAKER_03 24:12

Yeah. It's like a fucking centimeter thick. Definitely not made by our sweat shop kids. That's a team art.

SPEAKER_05 24:22

That's an RTB guarantee. RTB guarantee. Dude, imagine you're getting jerked off under a blanket in the fucking handicapped seats of a theater. Short button. A whole field trip rolls up, and you're like, Can you just give us a second? Yeah. Give us a second, please. The idea of like your friend getting sober and getting the Pokemon, like it's some people go the Christian route, and he's like, nah, I'm gonna get into Pokemon. I'm gonna devout.

SPEAKER_06 24:58

Supposedly there's like huge money into it right now, too. It's like nuts. Like I was talking to this guy I work with, and like he's getting into like it's not even just the Pokemon cards, too, it's like uh like any type of trading cards. Like like baseball and like football cards are like coming back. Like he has like this Jamar Chase like rookie card that's like kind of like cool looking, I guess. I don't know how to explain it, but it's like worth like 200 bucks.

SPEAKER_03 25:22

Yeah, it's like but then also a Jamar Chase rookie card on the projection of his career right now is Hall of Famer. Yeah. So you hold on to it for a while, and then when he retires, this and that, and then once he gets his his gold jacket, then it's like alright, it's time to cash in. Or a lot of it, it's unfortunate, but with like NFL players like that, uh, that are like gonna be great, sometimes they die before they get to be great, and then the unfortunately the price of the card skyrockets kind of like Kobe's cards now.

SPEAKER_05 25:51

Try to pull up with a with a Len Bias jersey. What? Like Len Bias is that that that uh that first round draft pick NBA player who like died of a cocaine overdose.

SPEAKER_03 26:01

I don't know who this is. I'm not sure who that is, but I'm a fan. Now I'm a fan. I'm trying to pull up with this jersey right now, dude.

SPEAKER_06 26:08

Uh pull up Lin Bias.

SPEAKER_05 26:11

There was an ESPN 30 for 30 on him.

SPEAKER_03 26:13

Pull up the autopsy for Lynn Bias, please. I'm gonna have to watch that.

SPEAKER_05 26:16

That sounds uh he was like supposed to be just like uh like a generational talent and just fucking partied. I I guess he was patient zero for the fucking fentanyl thing.

SPEAKER_06 26:27

Damn. Yeah, he was like supposedly like the cards are like they cost like stupid money, but also it's like it's where they get you. It's like if you want to like have the chance of like pulling a card that like costs a lot of money, you gotta spend a lot of money on everything.

SPEAKER_03 26:38

So I've seen a theory with uh the NFL Panini packs specifically. Uh well the not packs but boxes. Usually every box has like a a clear wrap on it and it says Panini in very small print and it's going diagonal this way. Uh huh. And if you find a box where it's going diagonal that way, that's like the box to buy, is what I've seen on TikTok. It's the box full of little packs. Okay. So you gotta spend like $50 to $100 to buy the pack, depending on the brand and what addition you're doing.

SPEAKER_06 27:09

You need the left way.

SPEAKER_03 27:10

Yeah, you need it going this way. Because usually it's going this way. And apparently, and I've seen they've it's like a theory that's been tested. People buy the ones going that way, and then there's always like an autograph card or a jersey card, or there's always something in it. I could look at that. You see right there where it's going to the right? Yeah. There's a print where it goes to the left. You know, saying that the one that goes to the left? Yes.

SPEAKER_06 27:31

Okay, $21,000. Jeez. Like that one, bro. The one that's the biggest one. Yes, yeah, the green box right there. Yeah, the green shirt. Yeah. 2021. The green panini, dude. That's what I need. Uh yeah. I need the green panini. Yeah, $15,000. Dude, holy those are thousands of pounds. What is that like $12?

SPEAKER_03 27:47

12 stabbings. That's $12 stabbings.

SPEAKER_05 27:50

How many shillings? How many shillings is that?

SPEAKER_03 27:53

Rubies? Rupees?

SPEAKER_05 27:55

Dude, it really is a problem. The stabbings over there, they're gonna bring back chain mail. They're gonna bring back they're gonna bring back the chainmail t-shirts, dude. That actually would give that that would be in the in the tank. You should tell your home, your homie who like makes all the cool streetwear, like, bro, you need to fuck with chain mail. I'm telling you, chainmail chain mail is a new wave.

SPEAKER_03 28:14

That's what, yeah. Indians in the UK are really good at linking you on chain mail and making you wear chain mail. That's uh Indians in the UK, man. Shouts out to stabbing a bunch of Brits.

SPEAKER_06 28:25

You were talking about this earlier whenever you were in you're I was telling Casey about this. Do you remember whenever you like hit me up to like start the pod, bro? Yeah, yeah, because we're okay. Were you in like were you in Ireland or Scotland? I would no, I was in Spain. I was in Madrid. I was in I was in Madrid, Spain. Okay. It's fucking two of the people. But there was a there was an Irish dude there. Was he Scottish? The black dude? No, I had gone to Ireland during that same trip. Okay, that's what it was?

SPEAKER_05 28:47

Yeah, I I talked to this this Irish comedian, like we're kind of just shooting the shit before he showed 40? 40 stabbings a day.

SPEAKER_06 28:55

40 stabbings a fucking day, bro. Including three to four requiring hospitalization? Dude, yeah. Including three to four requiring. That's that's honestly like not that bad. If you get like 40 guys got fucking stabbed, but only three of them are good. That's fucking terrible.

SPEAKER_03 29:12

What does that say? Particularly brought in by what?

SPEAKER_07 29:14

Poor school in the bureaus with poor school attainment rates.

SPEAKER_05 29:19

13 to 15 year olds? I mean, that's like school shooter age. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:23

Alright, well, you can oh, at least my school's not a shooting range. Let's talk about fucking knife fights. Let's talk about that. Because these numbers are far greater than shooting.

SPEAKER_06 29:32

Well, they're just knives.

SPEAKER_03 29:34

40. The Brits gotta get their stuff together.

SPEAKER_05 29:38

To be fair though, you know, you have to earn those stabbings. Like a school shooter, you just you just mow down, you're at a far distance. If you you stab like like like 10 people in a classroom, like you had to earn those. You had to put yourself out there.

SPEAKER_03 29:55

You had to really just put yourself out there, get in someone's face, and just there's also the counterpoint to earning with a school shooter, like this guy's probably getting his fucking underpants pulled over his head a couple times a week. Especially in London. Like, yeah. So there's it's earning it from the other perspective. Like you guys run me those trainers.

SPEAKER_05 30:17

Run me those trainers. That's good. What's up with all that shit you were talking on the on the play trolley five? Talk that shit now. Talk that shit now. Talk that shit now, bruv. That is such a you think they still people don't say fuck off.

SPEAKER_06 30:33

Does a train like does a tree make noise if it falls and no one's around? Like no one's around, like, do the British guys still use that fucking dumbass accent, bro.

SPEAKER_03 30:42

Instead of saying fuck off, they say take the piss. Take the piss? Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. Take a piss. That's what I'm talking about. Could you imagine like going over there and not knowing that? Like you get in an argument, someone's like, take a piss. I don't have to. I don't I thought we were fighting. Take the piss. Take a piss. What did we do? Piss breaks before we fight over here? That's so lame.

SPEAKER_05 30:59

If you're fucking with them too, like are you are you fucking with me? Like, are you taking a piss?

SPEAKER_06 31:03

Yeah, yeah. You taking a piss. Are you mad? Are you taking a piss? Are you fucking mad? And I was like, I thought that was only in movies.

SPEAKER_03 31:09

I'm dead serious. My dick's in my shorts, brother. I'm not fucking around at all.

SPEAKER_06 31:13

Oh, fucking sorry. Cut you with, I don't know who cut you off. Back to Madrid, bro. Like fucking, you just you went to go see like a black Scottish dude do like stand up?

SPEAKER_05 31:20

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. He uh we went to was it Schmeagle? That's all. That's all. It was just Schmeagle. Okay. My mom and I went to a comedy show in uh in Ireland in Dublin, and uh they were just like promoting the comedy club. It's just so like it's so walkable. There's so many shops and clubs and whatever all packed on the street. Yeah. Probably like whenever you went to Iceland. Yes. And uh and they were just there's different people promoting like I'll go to this restaurant, I'll go to this place, and he was just promoting a comedy club, and like my mom and I were looking for a comedy club to go to anywhere, like, oh that's perfect. And we ended up just chopping them up, uh chopping up with them, and uh and he was like, Yeah, I'm actually like I'm like the headliner. But he was like promoting the club with another comic. And we just talked to him for like 30 minutes, and he was talking about like a podcast, and like my mom was like, My mom was like, Oh, he knows how to edit. He was like trying to like get me wrapped into his shit. He's like, Oh, he actually knows how to edit, like video edit a little bit. Because I I'd been like doing some course on like editing short films or whatever at the time. Yeah. And he was like, dude, like and then he was hyped me up. He's like, Oh, if you got funny friends, like you should fucking do it or whatever. And then a couple days oh it was like marinating in my mind, and then uh a few days later, I'm like drunk coming home from uh this like group hangout that we were doing in in Madrid, with just people from like different continents, people from Australia, Scotland, uh locals, whatever. And uh, and we're just joking around, like just being silly, and I was fucking hammered coming back from the state lost. What time was it there when he was dead? It was like one or two a.m.

SPEAKER_06 32:57

That's okay. I know I wasn't tripping, bro. Because like you you like I was telling Casey about this on the way home. I was like, bro, I can't believe we're like actually doing this like shit. And I was like, yeah, bro, fucking I remember when like Huey called me because I was in class when you called me, bro. Like I was in school still, and like what was this like October, September, or something around there?

SPEAKER_05 33:13

Uh September.

SPEAKER_06 33:14

Okay, yeah. So it was like September time. I was in class, and like I just get a random and dude. We were like studying for like a big test coming up, and like I had like crazy ADHD, so I can't like focus in class, and like you called me, and I was like, Oh, gotta take this. And I like walked out, and you're like, What's up, dude? What are you doing right now? I'm like, I'm in fucking the middle of class, and you're like, Oh fuck, do you have a minute? And I was like, Yeah, dude, what's going on? I was like, What's going on, bro?

SPEAKER_05 33:39

Any excuse to get out of this fucking class right now.

SPEAKER_06 33:41

Dude, he started telling me about like this fucking dude that sounded like Shrek that was like black as fuck. And he was like, anyway, he was telling me, like, yeah, if you have fucking friends that are funny, like you should do it. And he's like, Anyway, but I think we should like do like a comedy show, like a podcast or something. We should start it off. And I was like, fuck it, that's all I need to hear, but let's do it, bro. And then like fast forward, like, we're actually doing this shit. It's so funny to me.

SPEAKER_03 34:03

Yeah, I don't even know how I got tied into this.

SPEAKER_06 34:05

No, well, because like if I was gonna start it, like I was like, oh fuck, bro. Like, Casey's like what because Casey's one of the funniest fucking guys like I know. So I'm like, wow, I gotta I'm not gonna do this and like not have like Casey in there with me. So I thought that was like the perfect way to do it. And we got a Jamie, we got a tech guy. Fucking let's fucking start this shit up, bro. Like, let's do something.

SPEAKER_03 34:22

Like, I've done Dawn. Like, so shout out to the Jamie. His name is Donovan. He's fucking fucking fantastic. Spick and Span, is that what a Mexican lady is? Brett's a rassholes. This is where I started all right.

SPEAKER_06 34:35

When we started like talking, because me and Donovan, we worked at like uh I'm not gonna say the name of the company, it was a Jewish company. No, I'm not gonna say okay. We were like working together, and uh he's me and Donovan used to talk all the time, like, bro, we should start like a podcast or something. It's like I come up with the title already, Spickin' Span. Hey guys, welcome to Spick and Span. I'm Span, and he would just point at me. I can't not fucking spill my beer, bro. Did you spill your beer again? I do it every episode. Oh, dude. I do it every fucking episode. I spill it. Good golly. Anyway, I was talking about it. I was fucking sick.

SPEAKER_03 35:09

Like, like what does that mean for white guys? Because when black guys smoke a blunt, they drop it on the floor, they say, that means somebody's fucking my girlfriend. I said that earlier. Somebody, not girlfriend, somebody's fucking my bitch. Yeah. Uh what does it mean when a white guy spills his beer? Does that mean uh somebody's fucking my bitch, dude? No, we don't say that. We say somebody's having sex with my wife. That's what we say.

SPEAKER_05 35:33

Someone's committing adultery with my wife. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:36

I think my wife's being promiscuous.

SPEAKER_05 35:38

Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_01 35:39

Oh, geez, mister. Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_03 35:42

Yeah, I think the Guelemart and uh Pilates instructor is digging down my old lady.

SPEAKER_06 35:47

Your girls in Pilates? That's the fucking first red flag right there. No, she's not in Pilates. If you're girls in Pilates, bro, you got fucking you got a lot of things to worry about.

SPEAKER_03 35:57

Cut that cut that. That was a joke, and that was mean, and that was uncalled for, and it's not even the kids Kinsey's. Yeah, that's whatever. That was just a joke. Cut that. Cut that. That was just something that came to mind. Like uh sorry. I wish we could fuck.

SPEAKER_06 36:19

I do kind of are we gonna go play pool tonight, bro?

SPEAKER_03 36:22

We're gonna go wherever. My kid is being dropped off as we speak. We're gonna go play pool tonight.

SPEAKER_06 36:28

There is a part of me that does really want to go watch the drama.

SPEAKER_03 36:30

You know, at my work Christmas party? We went to some someplace uh in the sticks, it was like a bar in the sticks of Manhattan. Uh it's called Daryl's. Daryl's place. And uh I was it was a casino wine night. So I drank like eight glasses of wine. So I was like drunk on wine, and then the HVAC guy pulled up and I smoked a blunt with him, and then we went inside of this place called Daryl's Place, and there was like a pool tournament going on. I told all my coworkers, like, I'm so good at pool, like this and that. And then the pool tables freed up. They're like, all right, let's play. Hammered, hammered, started playing pool to do like shooting the cue ball fucking off the table before I even hit a ball. And then uh, so they obviously knew I was not gonna pool. And then hammered, ashed a cigarette into uh the pool table. Like in the pocket? Yes, on on purpose. Hell yeah? Yeah, it was like an intimidation tactic for the pool game. And uh some old bikers got up and they're like, fuck no, hell no! I saw that. And they went and got the uh the bar staff. Now this guy just ashed his cigarette on the pool table, and they came over to me and said, Hey, did you do that? And I was like, Yeah, sorry. And they're like, You can't do that anymore. I was like, Alright, that's fine. I don't plan on doing it again. Um tattletail is not a cool biker trade. And then uh my older co-worker's wife and him were there, and she heard people come up to the bar and say, That guy dropped acid at the pool table. So two months go by, and uh this guy comes up to me and he's like, Hey man, my wife finally asked me, she was like, What's up with that guy who dropped acid at the pool table at the work Christmas party? And he was like, What are you talking about? It's like, yeah, that guy everybody was screaming about. I was like, No, he dropped ash. This lady thought that I was dropping acid at the work Christmas party. Could you imagine dropping acid at a work Christmas party? That would have been way too much. That's the worst place to ever do acid ever.

SPEAKER_06 38:33

At a work Christmas party?

SPEAKER_03 38:35

A work Christmas party.

SPEAKER_06 38:36

It would have been better on Easter.

SPEAKER_03 38:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 38:40

The Easter bunny just starts chasing you.

SPEAKER_03 38:42

Yeah. He's risen. He's risen.

SPEAKER_05 38:45

Imagine them reacting the same way. You like have it on your tongue. They're like, fuck no.

SPEAKER_03 38:49

That's the thing, is like everybody's like freaking out. It's like you thought everybody's freaking out because I dropped that.

SPEAKER_01 38:53

Like, that guy's dropping acid at the booters.

SPEAKER_03 38:55

They're like, they're like, they're like scared, like everybody's against me. I gotta go. Who are they?

SPEAKER_05 39:00

They're like benevolent bike riders. They're like, fuck no. You need to be in a you need to be in a better environment. You need to be around people you care about, all right? Let me find you a playlist real fast.

SPEAKER_03 39:10

You ever heard of the uh the Arctic monkeys? Yes. 505. Cool.

SPEAKER_06 39:19

Anyways, uh yep. Tonight let's drop acid and go fucking play pool, dude. Dude, yeah, let's drop acid. Have you ever done acid, Huey? I have. It's all no. Huey's dabbled in like everything.

SPEAKER_05 39:31

It's an all-day thing.

SPEAKER_06 39:32

I can go by the sunglasses. You seem like a guy who's dabbling in everything. He's on acid right now, bro.

SPEAKER_05 39:36

I it's an all-day thing, though. It's like 12 hours. That sucks. It's it's it's a long see.

SPEAKER_03 39:43

That's where I can't. Like, I you gotta start at 11 a.m. If I did, I got shit to do. If I'm high on acid for 12 hours, like this might as well just be the fucking rest of my life. Like with 12 hours. There is a point where you're like, okay.

SPEAKER_05 39:55

Is this fucking permanent? But it kind of comes in waves.

SPEAKER_06 39:59

What does it feel like? You have more Does shit look different?

SPEAKER_05 40:04

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_06 40:05

It's wavy. Is it like just vibrant? Is it people how I explain mushrooms? I don't know. If I like acid, I would flip the f I would have fucking nightmare. I'd probably bite someone.

SPEAKER_05 40:15

I definitely prefer fucking you for sure bite bit kids in the classroom.

SPEAKER_06 40:19

Oh bro, uh, when I was in I was in kindergarten like three times. You just had the silver teeth. I was in kindergarten kids. Then I was in kindergarten non-stop, bro.

SPEAKER_03 40:27

Like I was getting I was bad, I was a bad kid when I was like Huey went to kindergarten uh three times.

SPEAKER_05 40:33

Not a single person bit me either.

SPEAKER_03 40:36

Yeah, he's just dropping them back off at home.

SPEAKER_06 40:40

Dude, when we were going to the party today, we I was the I told like three people about that shit. We're because we're going to Gage and Gray's birthday party. And we're like, yo, Huey, you're going to the party too? You're like, it's a child's birthday. Of course I'm going to be there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:55

I'd never miss a blossoming.

SPEAKER_05 40:59

It's a coronation. I'm just counting down.

SPEAKER_03 41:04

Oh, whenever they turn 16, you can you can come back to them and you say, I watched you turn into a man. That's the scariest thing I ever want to hear Huey say. When you were three.

SPEAKER_06 41:12

I watched you grow up. I watched you become a man. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 41:16

I remember when you were this big.

SPEAKER_03 41:19

I can't believe you're 18 or something. You look so athletic swinging at that pinata.

SPEAKER_05 41:22

You're so mature for your age.

SPEAKER_03 41:24

You got a lot of twerk toy. Have you been working at your delts? The way you're swinging at the pinata, I could really see like some muscle definition.

SPEAKER_05 41:31

I like fire trucks.

SPEAKER_03 41:33

Is there candy in there?

SPEAKER_05 41:36

We saw a fucking pinata get beheaded.

SPEAKER_03 41:38

Yeah, that's crazy. They just kind of left the head hanging.

SPEAKER_06 41:41

It was a brown dog. It was a Mexican birthday party, bro.

SPEAKER_03 41:45

That was yeah, that was the most Mexican birthday party I've ever been to that a white person's ever thrown.

SPEAKER_06 41:50

They had the fucking pastor on the grill.

SPEAKER_03 41:52

Yeah, they had pastor on the grill. They had a fucking big bouncy house. Everybody was drinking like Modello. Orgy of June bugs.

SPEAKER_06 41:59

Oh my gosh. The love bugs were fucking nuts. The love bugs were insane, bro. You couldn't even like speak a full sentence without like three of them flying into your mouth.

SPEAKER_03 42:08

Dude, I'm saying they're all outside. I need them to come inside my house. I need to find love again in my relationship.

SPEAKER_05 42:14

What if that's like the the locust that like the like are like all the insects that the Jews were complaining about? They're like, oh my god, they're so big.

SPEAKER_03 42:23

The world's so gay. Instead of locusts invading the world, it's just bugs that connect their ass together. And we're getting invaded by a just bug to scissor. Scissoring fucking bugs. You know what? Here's all the gay bugs. You fucking do you guys want to make the world gay? Here it is. Here's bugs that your ass to ass bugs. These bugs are gonna eat you alive while they fuck each other in the ass.

SPEAKER_05 42:44

Why they use a double-sided dildo and just gyrate across your forearm.

SPEAKER_06 42:49

That's how it works, bro. I really am kind of upset though that we can't uh go. Did I as soon as you mentioned the drama tonight?

SPEAKER_03 42:57

Dude, I want to go see the movie. I want to go see that movie. I'm not gonna land I'm gonna have to wait until it comes out an HBO. I'm gonna have to fucking put my kid to sleep.

SPEAKER_01 43:02

Kenzie's gonna be like, I'm tired. I want to go watch it.

SPEAKER_03 43:05

It's fucking 20 minutes of the movie. I was like, alright, just go to bed. I don't even care. And then I'm gonna get so fucking drunk. I want to dude. I love the theater. Dude, the theater's awesome. That's fucking I want to see in the movies. I like I like seeing uh romantic movies in the theaters.

SPEAKER_06 43:18

Theater's sick, bro. I want to I want to go just like fucking up with just an entire, just a fucking whole bucket of popcorn, bro.

SPEAKER_03 43:24

Yeah, and then you throw the butter on it, you know. You put straw in the butter. What's good about the movies is you you take a date to the movies, you get the popcorn, you get the butter, get to eating the popcorn. Hands are slippery. And dude, a fucking buttery popcorn hand job, get out of town. Man, talking about, oh, I need some pussy. Fuck you, dude. Give me a buttery popcorn movie hand job. That's way better than pussy. I need to watch a movie while it happens. I don't have to pretend to be in the moment. I can fucking watch Robert Pattinson give a nice dialogue while shooting up school. Yeah, commercial butters sliding across my cock and some cold hand.

SPEAKER_06 44:00

Wait, wait, didn't you say you went to go watch the Mario?

SPEAKER_03 44:04

I did. Yeah. So I took a school shooter in there, bro. Yeah. I took Reese. I took a I took my daughter to go see the Mario movie, the new Mario Galaxy movie. I think that's literally what it's called, it's a Mario Galaxy movie. Getting lazy. Um and we were in the concession lines because obviously we got a MMs and popcorn and put the MMs inside the popcorn and all that. And there's a fucking Russian-ish guy with a backpack by himself in the concession line. I was like, oh man, like I'd fucking hate to be in the theater he's in. Seats are right next to him. I mean, I'm I'm sharing a fucking armrest with the guy. And I have a nah he's wearing gay Russian shit. He's wearing like a hoodie and tight pants.

SPEAKER_05 44:45

He's wearing like the Russian YN outfit. Yeah. The tracksuit.

SPEAKER_03 44:48

Yeah, but he was like 40. So I thought, for sure, this guy's gonna kill somebody, and hopefully the Mario movie's safe. It's not. Um Yeah, we sit right next to him, and I think like, well, this is it. Like, I'm sitting next to him with a fucking toddler who's gonna talk through the movie. He's gonna get pissed. It's like I'm gonna be the first we're gonna die. Like a supposed to be a fun thing, uh daddy-daughter bonding time, and we're just gonna fucking die here at the Mario Galaxy movie, getting lazy with the names again. Um yeah. No, he did he did not have any guns on his back, but he had a Nintendo Switch. He did not have any guns. And that also brings me to my next point is uh there's two types of black guys nowadays. There's two types. So you got your your suburbs black guy, and you got your Manhattan black guy. And uh it's it's between uh Switch or a Nintendo Switch. And that's it. That's it. You got two paths. Either your black kids hanging out with white people, super into Mario Nintendo, super cool. Or uh you're super into shooting people in the back of the head with an automatic pistol. And that's uh hey, hey, teach their own switch, same name, different game. Um different stakes.

SPEAKER_06 46:07

You're telling me that joke, like yeah, there's two different types of black guys, like the nerd guys and the fucking ghetto guys.

SPEAKER_03 46:14

Yeah, yeah, there's uh like my friend Dante. Nintendo switched out. That's a Nintendo Switch guy. Yeah, I don't think he'd shoot anybody. He'll never switch up on you.

SPEAKER_06 46:22

Yeah. That's a white dude, bro.

SPEAKER_03 46:23

Yeah, dude, I think that might be the difference, is uh it's interrelation, interracial relationships, but it depends on uh if your mom is white, you're gonna be a Nintendo Switch guy. Um, and if your dad is white, you're also gonna be a Nintendo Switch guy. And if both of your parents are black, you're gonna be like a Glock Switch guy. And so it's uh when I say it's an interrelational thing.

SPEAKER_01 46:44

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03 46:46

Did he spill another beer?

SPEAKER_05 46:47

No, he likes fucking bathing himself.

SPEAKER_06 46:49

Oh my fucking goodness, bro. I can't I can't escape it, bro. This is nuts. Yeah, dude, it's a beer mitzvah. It's a beer mitzvah, bro. Yeah, my gosh, it's every fucking episode. It's every episode, bro. I can't escape it. I've spilled so much beer on this carpet, it's insane. I'm never getting my fucking deposit back, ever. I can't not get away from it. I spill a beer every episode. Casey, fucking keep talking, please, bro. Speaking of it, I'm not getting your deposit back. Uh no more brews for me.

SPEAKER_03 47:23

No more brews for you?

SPEAKER_06 47:24

No more brews for me, dude.

SPEAKER_03 47:26

What the fuck did I get a babysitter for? Shut the fuck up and drink a beer. Oh, drink a fucking. I gotta literally driving fucking downtown to go drop off my daughter at my fancy mom's gonna be.

SPEAKER_06 47:34

No, there's there's still more in there. I dude, I think a couple glugs just hit the ground though. Like, there's like look, look. Yeah, a couple glugs just hit the ground. Like, I'm not that's uh that's a it might as well be empty, bro. We went to fucking uh good vibes. Like, what was this? Fucking Peyton went out of town for a bachelor party. This was on Saturday night. It was like last weekend. And uh it was fun, it was just me and Casey. I fucked up oysters, bro. You know I'm the oyster king, dude.

SPEAKER_03 48:00

You know I'm the fucking oyster king, dog. That was pretty modest. I had some guacin chips. Yeah. Yeah, Casey went ham on the appetizers. Dude, ham on the appetizers.

SPEAKER_06 48:08

I didn't have any beers, bro. Oh, I was that's another thing I'm getting to is um I I've been cutting back on my drinking. Like on if I'm off camera right now, like I haven't been drinking like for the last like two weeks.

SPEAKER_05 48:17

Pouring them out for dead homies.

SPEAKER_06 48:18

For the dead homies, yeah, 100%. You know, from the I you know from the dirty Hitchcock dog. You know, I gotta pour it out for the dead homies, dude. Uh I've I've been feeling like shit, dude. I think I like I got used to feeling like shit for a while that I don't realize I feel like shit all the time. So I was like, yeah, let me like cut back on drinking a little bit. So I've been going fucking crazy on the iced teas.

SPEAKER_03 48:34

Classic.

SPEAKER_06 48:35

I've been fucking killing iced teas, bro. And like I won't drink anymore. Like, I'm like, I thought you were just drinking twisted tea. Nah, dude, not the tweez.

SPEAKER_03 48:45

More outs are good for me. I wanted to try like the this is tea in it. I'll have a beer.

SPEAKER_06 48:51

No, not the tweez, dude. I've been uh I'm really feeling like shit. I'm gonna start drinking vodka sodas. I've been like I just like fucked up like like two dozen oysters and like uh like some tea and shit, and we were just hanging out with Casey. We were when we were leaving, uh, we were leaving good vibes, and like there's like this lady like playing live music over there on like the piano or whatever, and she was like packing up her shit, and uh she was coming back in to get the rest of her equipment as we were leaving. There was like this puddle of water like on the concrete, and Casey like hopped over it, like just jumped over it, and he like made the jump, and the girl was like, Woo, you made the jump! Ha ha ha ha! And Casey was like, ha ha ha ha. And then she like laughed again, she was like, ha ha ha! And then Casey went, ha ha ha fucking like the joker laugh.

SPEAKER_01 49:45

And it made me laugh.

SPEAKER_06 51:44

I was gonna watch it because I'm gonna be able to do it.

SPEAKER_03 51:55

So you can fucking sell some.

SPEAKER_06 52:31

The funniest money is coming. I fucking want to talk like this. I think um yeah, I think I think you can be running to this. Um like Brian Calendar or something.

SPEAKER_03 53:36

Because nobody's coming to my calendar shows. Look, I think if I went on tour tomorrow, I could sell more. I'm not kidding. Uh on the off chance that Brian Callan uh can afford a phone and watch this. Um I I challenge you to anything at all. Uh, I think I'd win.

SPEAKER_05 53:52

He kind of got wrapped up in that whole scandal thing with uh Chris Delia, no?

SPEAKER_03 53:56

He did kind of get wrapped up in that. Yeah, because he did a bunch of podcasts with Chris Delia.

SPEAKER_05 53:59

He came up because he uh Chris Delia was his opener.

SPEAKER_06 54:02

Didn't like Chris Dalia, like it came out like he was like scot-free. Like he wasn't gonna be a good one.

SPEAKER_03 54:05

The Chris Delia stuff was bullshit. It was so she was of age. Pretty much he cheated on his wife with this lady, which is the main thing he did bad. I used to listen to his podcast. Um he's like, they're all vampires, huh? Like they're all vampires, aren't they? Vampires, sucky bitches. Sucky bitches, suck me bitches.

SPEAKER_05 54:28

He's just throwing out the wildest conspiracy theories because they're stuck on a fucking private jet with him.

SPEAKER_03 54:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 54:34

He's like, you guys read Mine Mind Conf? He's like, who like who is that? He's like, is they're like, is that by is that by Colleen Hoover? Is that a Colleen Hoover book?

SPEAKER_03 54:43

Yeah, small.

SPEAKER_06 54:46

Oh good golly. Dude, my fucking pants are soaking wet, bro. I'm finally starting to dry off. I'm talking a lot from the bruise, dude. Oh, from spilling beer on your I can't not do it.

SPEAKER_05 54:57

Repeatedly spilling beer on your fucking It's insane.

SPEAKER_06 55:01

And it's only on camera.

SPEAKER_05 55:02

Michael J. box on camera.

SPEAKER_06 55:04

It's only on camera. Like I never spill beer on your camera. Shake up my can of coke. It's like I got the fucking jitters, bro.

SPEAKER_03 55:10

The jitters?

SPEAKER_06 55:11

I got the jitters, dude.

SPEAKER_05 55:12

You're the first to go in a bar. Dude, you're like that Japanese driver that you had in Vegas, dude. Just fucking. I'm just pump breaking, dude. She just has aftershock. Dude, I think she actually had Parkinson's. She might have. The way you described her was just she might have I don't know, dude.

SPEAKER_06 55:26

I'd like to work with that lady. I think she had some cool stories.

SPEAKER_03 55:29

You know, the Parkinson's hand job would probably be pretty sick.

SPEAKER_06 55:32

That actually probably would be the best hand job you ever had.

SPEAKER_03 55:34

Yeah, they just come and it just keeps on going. And she and they're non-verbal, so you don't have to talk afterwards. There's no pillow talk. Yeah. She's fucking falling asleep. Dude, girls love pillow talk. I can't. I don't like pillow talk, bro. Your girl likes pillow talk? Your girl doesn't like pillow talk? Yeah, my girl doesn't like uh regular talk. Yeah, we don't we don't talk. We kind of just like raise a kid, fuck, and then eat dinner.

SPEAKER_06 55:58

That's fucking that's an ideal relationship, bro. Yeah, bro's living in 1600. That's an ideal relationship.

SPEAKER_03 56:04

Yeah, I'm just in an episode of Mad Men every day. Except uh I don't get to wear a suit to work. I wish I did, dude. If I got to wear a suit to work, I'd come home and be a fucking problem. I'd fucking I'd come home and as soon as I pull in the driveway, I'd like to mess up my hair a little bit and kind of untied my tie where it looks like I had a rough day. I'd come inside and I just open up a bottle of scotch. I'm like, what sounds good for dinner? Corn dogs.

SPEAKER_01 56:29

Anything you're not cooking, bitch. Fuck you. You can't cook. My dude, my mom's a way better cook than you. God damn. She will never share the cookbook with you because you're such a fucking bitch. She hates you. I fucking hate you too.

SPEAKER_03 56:48

Fuck you. That's uh thank God I don't wear a suit. I'm not like that at all. I wear work pants and boots. I come home covered in shit. Yeah, imagine, yeah. Imagine if I wore a suit to work, I'd probably act like that. I don't act like that.

SPEAKER_06 56:59

Whenever you own your own you get to the point where you own your own plumbing company, you're gonna wear a suit to work every day. You require your own C. You require your employees to wear suits.

SPEAKER_03 57:07

No You want to work for me, you're gonna dress to the job. Yeah. That's where plumbing is heading. Uh that's about like make sure you have your shirt tucked down. No. No, I'm not doing that. I'm not tucking in my fucking shirt. Sorry. If you're whatever, yeah, whatever. Mr. uh Mr. Mr. Mr. Um Mr. I'm not tugging in my fucking shirt. I gotta crawl around in the attic. Um I got poop on my finger, and there's fucking shit on the bottom of my shirt. I'm not tucking in my shirt. I smell like shit. I smell like shit. I smell like actual poop. Until I get to go home and take a shower, I smell like fucking human feces. I'm not tucking in my shirt, oh, take me serious. And I smell like shit at the same time. Get the fuck out of here. What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_06 57:54

Yeah, you and your coworkers talking about like the 20 geeks for lunch and you all like literally smell like dog shit.

SPEAKER_03 57:59

Yeah, dude, plumbing isn't that hard. It's just like, oh, I don't want to touch this. Let me call a guy that gets paid to touch that. And some guy comes and fucking if I had a sewer problem and there was shit backing up into my bathroom, I'm gonna call a guy and he pulls up in like a collared shirt all tucked in. It's like, all right.

SPEAKER_06 58:13

Dude, I would be a hazmat plumber.

SPEAKER_03 58:15

What are you gonna do? Like, I want a guy that already smells like shit. It's like, oh, you've been doing this all day. Like, this is probably no problem for you. I'd pull away. It's like do you know what you're doing?

SPEAKER_05 58:25

And one of those fucking fallout robot suits is what I'm pulling up in. I'm like, I don't want to touch that shit.

SPEAKER_03 58:29

Oh dude, I wish. I wish.

SPEAKER_05 58:31

No, I like the idea of like if you like like if if you have a plumbing company and it's like everyone, you know, they're all in their their their basically damn near PPE, you know, Carhartt. PPE. Uh and then your guys just show up with the fucking dress of the nines. They have the suit with the fucking tail on it.

SPEAKER_03 58:49

Yeah, picking up pieces of shit and putting it in a plastic bag.

SPEAKER_05 58:52

They have white gloves. They have the white gloves.

SPEAKER_03 58:55

I think this is from the toilet across the house. This isn't from this toilet. Looking like Alfred. Smells like a problem in here. This is uh interesting living room at a black person's house or something.

SPEAKER_06 59:11

He's he's looking like I'd love to.

SPEAKER_03 59:13

I'd love to pull up in a suit.

SPEAKER_06 59:14

Pull up in a suit. What'd your boss say if you pulled up in a suit?

SPEAKER_02 59:18

Like a monocle.

SPEAKER_03 59:22

I'd probably say, hey man. What the fuck are you doing? Do you want to work here? Or are you just joking around?

SPEAKER_06 59:31

I was listening to the last podcast. Yeah. When I was listening to the podcast on the editing and uh you're talking about like you're like, oh, you talked to your dad about the podcast? Yeah, he definitely thinks you're a fucking loser. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 59:47

Yeah. That's when people like compliment me on the podcast, I said, like, hey, when's the next episode coming out? I was like, hey, this clip I was dying laughing at this this morning. Part of me is like, all right, asshole, leave me alone. Like, stop fucking with me. Can you fucking can you be nice to me?

SPEAKER_06 1:00:03

Dude, you guys are really funny. I'm just like, you motherfucker, dude. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:07

Every time someone's like, oh, dude, you're funny. Like, it's like, all right, you fuck. Fuck you, man. Like, what the fuck did I ever do to you to say something like that to me?

SPEAKER_06 1:00:15

The Adam Sandler mentality, Copy Gilmore, you're like, you think you're better than me.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:19

Dude, yeah. No, I compliments. I don't know what it is. If you give me a compliment, I'm gonna assume that what you're saying is the exact opposite. Especially if there's other people around.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:27

Yeah, there's other people around, you give me a compliment, other people hear it. I'm like, this yeah, yeah, that's really nasty to me, dude.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:33

Yeah, and also they're trying to like play it off cool and be like, thanks, dude. Thanks, man. Yeah, I had a lot of fun doing the podcast. I pretty much we're just like drinking beer and having fun. Like, we're not even really trying. Yeah, it's like, all right, well now I'm being gay. It's not even screwed. Fuck. We're really nonchalant about it. It's the worst. Uh I was I was raised by all women, so I have like bitch tendencies. Uh Kenzie will tell me, she's like, Oh, you look handsome. I didn't look fucking handsome the past six years. What the fuck are you talking about? Like, you haven't told me that ever. Like, why are you telling me that now? What did I do? How do what do what looks good about me now? Like, I I want to repeat it tomorrow and for the rest of my life. Please tell me I'm looking handsome.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:08

Um, you really were fucking women, dude.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:12

Yeah, no, I'm a I'm a woman with a cock. That's it. Dude, I'm I'm just a fucking grown-up lesbian.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:20

That's sick.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:20

I drink beer, dude, blue collar stuff. I have all the tools. I have all the tools.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:24

I wish I had a lesbian best friend.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:25

You have one, dude. I'm telling you right now, you got one. I'm a just a fucking I'm a lesbian.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:30

I fell in love with a lesbian.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:31

I got the haircut, I got the fucking khaki shorts. I got the tall socks, I got pussy. Hey. Yep. Yep. But one thing lesbians can't do is get people pregnant, and I did it. I'm the top lesbian. I'm the most achieved lesbian there is. Yeah, I'm Karl Marx lesbian.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:50

Top dog lesbos, bro. Yeah, top dog lesbos. You can take it.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:53

Top dog lesbos. Um off the bottom. Besides Ellen.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:55

Ellen doesn't count.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:56

Super.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:58

Um is Caitlin Clark a lesbos, bro?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:01

No, Caitlin Clark is my bottom bitch.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:03

That's your bottom bit. Yeah, my bottom bit. Yeah. Same team.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:09

Who else is a lesbian? Amy Schumer? Not by choice, or just uh by default because nobody wants to fuck her. Tina Faye. Tina Faye's a lesbian?

SPEAKER_06 1:02:17

She has to be, she's funny.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:19

Oh, true.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:20

There's no way she's not.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:22

Yeah. Lesbian rapper, young man.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:27

Young May.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:32

Did you like O70shake? Yes. Yeah. Nice to have? Yes. What a song. What a song. I gotta see that live. She opened up for Kid Cuddy. Uh when I went to go see Kid Cuddy with Alan and we bought nosebleeds and they ripped up our tickets and scared us and then gave us four seats. Oh70shake opened up for that performance. Oh dude, awesome. Almost better than a Cuddy concert.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:53

I feel like some of the some of the some of the best female like artists are are at least bi.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:59

What's that uh what's the odd future short-haired lesbian lady? Say the kid. Say the kid. Say the kid. Say the kid's course. I know that. Yeah, of course you do. Of course you do. You got donut chairs in the closet.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:10

Pop that p culture, dog. Pop that pull.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:13

Uh yeah, no, she has a great voice. I think she was on the internet with uh Steve Lacey was on that group too.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:19

Yeah, Steve Lacey, Steve Lacey goes hard.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:21

Uh what's it called? It goes hard into other fucking guys' but Steve Lacey's gay?

SPEAKER_03 1:03:26

Steve Lacey's gay.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:27

He's bi.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:28

I was having another conversation I was having with my co-worker. Um being bi, being like, yeah, I like girls, but also like to fuck guys in the ass. Like, brother, you're just fucking you're just gay. Yeah. You're just gay. You grew up straight and you found out you're gay. So you I don't know. Maybe you that's the gayest thing ever, actually. You like to fuck guys, but then you also like girls, you just you like to talk to girls, and then you like to fuck guys, aka every fucking gay guy ever.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:58

All the they just hang out with girls all day and then they go home and fuck a boy. That's being bisexual. Yeah. I'm married, but I'm bi. I'm married, but I have a boyfriend who I fuck. You spend all your time with this lady, your best friends, but to get off, you like to fuck a boy, you're just gay. That's just being that's a high school gay guy. Minus playing house.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:20

Damn, boy. Thunder's going crazy right now. I shouldn't have said that. What times do the Rockets play tonight?

SPEAKER_03 1:04:26

7 30.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:28

Oh shoot. We're seven minutes behind, bro.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:30

It's alright. I don't really care about the game. I just want to drink. They're gonna win. They're playing the Lakers without Luca. It's just uh wash LeBron.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:38

I don't even give a fuck about is this the playoffs?

SPEAKER_03 1:04:40

This is the playoffs. This is a game one of uh the series of playoffs with the Rockets and Lakers.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:44

I don't even give a shit about hooping dog. I'm a real hooper, though.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:46

I care about hooping the same, I care about baseball. Just win the playoffs. There's it's just a very long I'm mostly a football guy. The other sports are just too long to keep up with. I can't watch every game. When it gets around playoff time, I'll tune in. Like baseball, I'm not watching right now, but when October rolls around, I'll be watching hard.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:03

Dude, playoff baseball is the best.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:06

Keeping in touch with like a full series and like watching like certain hitters versus certain pitchers, and then I don't know, with a series. That's what I like about um the sports that have long seasons, is they'll play a team two or three nights in a row, sometimes four. And you like you really get a feel for the other team. You learn more about the sport by watching another team you wouldn't regularly watch. You know the players, you know how the offense, how the defense works, and it's uh it's cool. I I like series. And uh that's cool. I don't know. That's the only part about ba basketball and uh baseball that I like is series.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:41

I went to the uh I went to the baseball game against the Rockies like two nights ago with uh Ian and uh my my co worker and Ian and uh Cole. It was pretty fun. I like going with my friends to like the games because like baseball can be boring, like it can't be Super boring. In person, it's so much fun.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:02

People go to baseball games by themselves.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:04

Yeah. Yeah, those are the guys that like keep the papers, they keep track of like the uh the owls, yeah. They like take notes and keep the whole score like a like a score box.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:12

Is that like a personal like preference thing, or do they think they hand out the slips like, hey, I need you to keep track of this in case we fuck up? Like, what are they doing that for you?

SPEAKER_03 1:06:18

It's definitely not in case we fuck up. It's like a it's something you do when you know you're not gonna go home and fuck anybody, talk to anyone about it.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:26

Like, well, I had this or bird watching or killing myself, so I guess I'm keeping strat. I guess I'm gonna go.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:31

If my life is between counting the outs at a regular season, Rockies Astros game and killing myself, I think I would find the nicest gun in my local area. I think I I think I would do that.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:43

Could you imagine going to the baseball game by yourself to keep score and you're like dude, like a beer sounds nice, but like I can't have a beer because I gotta keep score.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:51

Last time I had a beer and kept score, I missed. I mean when I when I checked on Google later that night it didn't add up and I fucked up. I didn't watch the game the right way. And it's it's a completely different ballgame because to me, watching a sports game, any sport at all, watching it the right way is watching it with people you like to talk to. And getting fucked up, get drunk and watch sports. That's dude. That's why people are at bars. That's that's why people have friends. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:23

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:24

Sports that's what sports is all about.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:26

Just friendship and bro, it's fucking it's insane like highway robbery when it comes to like the prices of the beers at the parks, dog.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:33

Oh dude.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:33

It's unbelievable, bro. I had like two beers and it was like $33. And I was like, holy shit, dog, that's fucking that's like a t that's like that's she that's more expensive than like a fucking 24 pack.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:47

And it's like four beers, because they gave you like a taller one, but it's like only four beers.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:50

Yeah, for $25 at Dyke and Park, it's like Dyke, Dyke, and what else do I get for $25?

SPEAKER_06 1:07:56

Dike my ass right in the fucking night for this prize, dog. This is bullshit.

unknown 1:08:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:03

I do remember when we used to work together. We used to.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:05

How many jobs do we have together? We had shoe carnival?

SPEAKER_03 1:08:08

We had shoe carnival, H E B, and Bada Bing. Bada Bing.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:12

Bada fucking bing, dude. Bada bing. Which was the best one.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:15

Bada bing. Bada bing was the best. Bada bing was the best, man.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:18

We used to just fuck up dishes in the back all day together.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:21

We literally like fuck up dishes, like ruined them, ruined them to the point of like we should probably throw the fucking plate away before they see what we'd have to do onto it. Because we used to just go back in the freezer and just like jack off and come on the plates.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:33

Don't let it dry on there. Would it freeze on there?

SPEAKER_03 1:08:35

Yeah. So it looked like a like a kind of like an Alfredo sauce where the customer would be like, Oh, I'm gonna, I'm gonna scrape my noodle across this and then scrape it across, and then nothing would happen to the mark on the plate would remain the same, and it was hard, and they'd be like, Well, it was just old Alfredo, and they would lick it and they would say, This does taste, this tastes old. It's sour, this isn't fresh alfredo, you guys aren't washing the dishes. And then uh spraying them. The owners of the company can't taste. And they're like, Are you guys not washing the dishes? Like, what is this hard Alfredo? Well, we are washing the dishes, but we're also hard in the dishes too, and that's what that is. And they're like, Well, as long as you're washing them, it's fine. And they went out and told the customer, like, yeah, the dishwashers are just like cumming on it, and it's fine. Uh, it's not old Alfredo, it's just it's my cum. It's this week's cum, and now it's uh oh, like seasonal cum. Okay, it's Italian. Sure. Yeah. This is the most Italian thing you can do is uh make somebody who does not want to taste your cum taste your cum. This is a true story. Yeah, Italians are yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:31

No, we worked at this peak. And uh me and Casey, like when we were closing, we would just like fucking blare like the most ignorant rap music you ever heard on like the speakers. We like blare the speakers online, like of like just the most ignorant rap. Who snitched on someone must have snitched on us because like it was that white bitch that used to work there. What was her name?

SPEAKER_03 1:09:51

Brittany or some shit? I don't know, probably. That sounds right to me. White bitch, Britney, that works, yeah. Yeah, we'll call her Britney.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:57

And like she I guess she like snitched on us to the owner. She was definitely trying to measle her way up into like fucking assistant manager or something. Stupid bitch.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:04

She fucking she had mockabellion plans to work her way up fucking bada bing.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:09

Yeah, and fucking bada bing, the mom and pop pizza place the house of cards, but for fucking bada bing.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:16

Yeah. She's like, this is how it was fucking, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:19

She like snitched on us for some like bullshit. And like when like it was it was like inch, it was like we were always like inevitably gonna get fired. Because like me and Casey were always doing dumb shit there.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:28

And like we were we would also like we would bust our ass.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:31

We do our thing and then we would fuck off after. We would do our job, we would fuck off like post post hours, like three days.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:36

We were like low key, like if people didn't finish their plates, we were kind of like eating off. Yeah, we were munching. We were munching, bro. But we knew the culture when they're gonna be able to do that. The pesto pasta was pretty good.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:47

It was so gas. Uh they were like from Italy, I think, so they knew how to cook pretty good. Yeah, but like and the other Mexicans there were just as guilty as I was, they were doing the same shit that I was. They were like fucking pocket watching.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:57

Well, what's a what's his name that got fired for drinking Modelo in the freezer? I don't remember.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:00

He would get the asshole Mexican guy. There was Antonio, the cool Mexican guy, the younger guy that was our age, and then there was like the older one who's Cyrus with the fucking dishwashing thing, he would just get them all wet.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:12

Yeah, but he's the he'd spray him with the dishwasher hosing thing.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:14

Yeah, yeah, you know, like uh like the handle where like he just did not like cyrus and he would just like spray them and get them all wet before they went home.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:24

And it was he has good fucking fur seats in his car. Yeah. Yeah, bro. I would like I would go into like the cooler and they would keep like homemade, they were like homemade bread there. Like they would make their own bread there, they would slice it and everything and package it up. Bro, I would like I would open up the package of bread and just like fucking like tear pieces off the bread, like off the middle, or just like like a rat, dude, and they're just fucking eating it, and I would never say anything. And I know for there's no way they didn't know it, because like it's not like I would take a whole slice, and it's not even like I would like cut the slice in half. I would like fistball like the middle of the bread and like take a butt like like the middle of it out and just like eat it, bro. And like there was like 10 of us working there, there's no cameras in there, they wouldn't know who the fuck was doing it. We're gonna question all of us. Half of these fucking people are illegal. Do you want staff or do you not want staff? Like, who do you want the you want this place to run or not? I'm hungry. Yeah. We got fucking fired. Well, I got fired.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:16

Yeah, I quit.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:17

I got fired. I I basically peer pressured Casey into quitting that job because I got fired.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:21

He got fired. She called me fucking retarded. Yeah, she called him retarded and he was like, I quit. And then he left, and then like 10 minutes went by. I was washing of just a ginormous pile of dishes, and he called me. He's like, I'm at Whaturger across the street. Quit your fucking like quit. Don't work there anymore. And I was like, okay. And so I took off my apron and I like looked around and nobody was looking, and I just went out the back door. And I met him at Whataburger, and I was like, Man, like, did you guys like did she call you retarded? Is that what I heard?

SPEAKER_06 1:12:50

Dude, she called me retarded. She like fucking she made me she like dead ass called me retarded, like verbatim. Well, she didn't call she asked me if I was retarded. And she like, uh, there's like one of the the soda fountain machines there, like there's you know, like the plastic cutting boards that like go under the like things. It wasn't a cutting board, it was like plastic thing that like goes under like to catch all the shit. One day, like we were like really slow, and she like had us like detail the whole thing and like bleach it and like clean it and all this. And I guess I like I cleaned it all and I put it back up, but I guess I like put it back like wrong. Like I didn't put it back together the right way. And I like went to the back to go take a piss, and as I like opened the door, she was like waiting outside for me. Like while and keep in mind, like the bathroom like didn't like have a lock on it, like you had to like hold the door closed if you're like taking a piss. Yeah. So I was like sitting there like taking a piss or whatever. Yeah, bro. Yeah, literally. And I walk out and she's just like waiting there, like tapping her foot, and she was like, Let me show you something. And I'm like, Oh fuck, dude, what happened? And she like goes over there and she's like, You didn't clean all of this the right way, yada yada, this and that. And it was like, there's still stains on here. And I was like, Alright, I'll clean it again. I spent like a fucking hour scrubbing this shit too. She's like, Oh, I was like, All right, I'll clean it again. She's like, No, no, no, like if you don't want to do it, like just go home. I'll do it myself. I'll just cut it out of your paycheck, yada, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:59

Yeah, they were like that.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:00

They were like, and I was like, I was like, dude, I was like, You're tripping. I was like, I'll I was like, let me just clean it, it's okay. And she was like, Do you think this is clean? And I was like, I didn't know it was dirty. This is stained, it's been like this forever, it's stained. She was like, Are you retarded? And like she like asked me like that. She was like, Are you retarded? And I was like, All right. I was like, Don't fucking call me retarded. And I was like, tell her that I was like, Don't fucking call me retarded, dude. And she was like, You don't know how to clean it. Are you retarded? And I was like, Alright, dude, stop calling me fucking. She like doubled down. She called me it twice. I was like, fuck this. I was like, I'm out of here. I was already at my wits' end with it because I had worked there for like a year and I was making like 725. I was like, fuck this job.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:35

You're making seven and they gave us a 25.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:37

Yeah, dude, and then she bragged about it. She was like, Did you see your paycheck? I gave you a raise. And it was like a fucking nickel. I was like, Are you kidding me? And anyway, she called me retarded and I like fucking left. And I like called my mom and I was like, yo, I just quit my job. The bitch called me retarded twice. She was like, All right. And then I was like, Casey like was still there, and I like called him. I was like, yo, Casey, I was like, fucking leave that place, bro. Like, do you want to work there? Did you like leave that place? And he was like, All right, fuck it. Take it back.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:01

That is like the most high school ever thing is like quit your job and be like, Mom, I just quit my job.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:07

Just letting you know. I'll be home for dinner.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:11

And I remember I called my mom. I was like, hey, I just quit my job. She's like, why? And I was like, I don't know. The lady called down like retarded. And she was like, What does that have to do with you? And I was like, I don't know. Retarded too. I was like, she insulted my friend. Like, I did like I had to do a whole big thing about it. Because I equip my and I it was uh they like they were like, all right, like you need like you're not working right now, you need to get another job. I got this job at the pizza place. Yeah, I was like, hey, I got this buzzing job at Bada Bing down the street, and they're like, Oh, awesome, awesome. They didn't give a fuck how much they just wanted me to like learn like work, ethic, and like money. And uh I like no call, no show, like four jobs before that. So they were super psyched. I'm like, hey, I quit my job. And they're like, why?

SPEAKER_01 1:15:56

What the fuck? And they were like mad, and I was like, Oh, they made a fool of my friend. All right, like, all right, just get another job.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:04

And I was like, Yeah, we're up here at the What's her down the street. Um, everybody's fucking pissed. Alex's parents were here, they're gonna go over there.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:11

Dude, my dad, like, my dad like called up there and like threatened to sue them because she called me retarded. Dude, do you remember when we went in there to go get our last check? And they're like, get the fuck the fuck out, get the fuck out of here. Like two weeks later, we were like, Aren't they supposed to like give us our paycheck because like we quit or whatever? And then try to say that they fired us. No, you didn't. Like, we quit.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:29

Technically, we could have filed for unemployment on them. Well, you could have well, neither of us could have because we both quit.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:36

Bro, yeah, we like we pulled up like two weeks later to like go get our last paycheck. And we walked in there, and the dude's name, what was his name? Stefano. We walked in there, Stefano and Mala. As soon as we walked in, he was like, Get the fuck out of here, get out of here. He was like, tell us to get out, bro. We're like, we just want our paycheck. He's like, nah, it's in the fucking mail. Get the fuck out of here.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:55

Yeah, bro. And you know, like he didn't really give a fuck, but he was just like, if she saw, she would have had a fucking being like had like an Italian attack or whatever. And it he doesn't give a fuck. No. I remember uh whenever whenever you quit. I remember him, he was like, What the fuck did you do? Why did you to her?

SPEAKER_06 1:17:19

So he was pissed off that I quit. That was the hardest fucking work.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:24

Well, one of them quit and she or whatever, and he was like, Oh, why did you do that?

SPEAKER_06 1:17:29

Dude, you called me fucking retarded.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:32

Why'd you do this?

SPEAKER_06 1:17:34

Oh man, yeah, but she was being serious.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:37

Do you remember when uh uh Kosty and Ranson? Ranson, yeah. Ranson tried to get a job. I'm like, we're not hiring friends anymore.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:48

Costy got a job there, and he was like, my friend is also looking for a job too.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:51

They're working for a while. We don't hire friends anymore.

SPEAKER_06 1:17:53

We like altered that entire fucking family business. They're like, we don't hire people who are friends outside of work anymore.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:59

Yeah, I remember especially if they're retarded. You'd be there'd be like no dishes to do. You'd go like fucking, I guess it was like cigarettes. I remember smoking cigarettes there in high school. Just go smoke cigarettes in the back or hit a vape or whatever, and it's like Stefano's getting into his Porsche. Yeah. And he's like, I'll see you later. He was cool. Yeah, Stefano's cool. Stefano was cool. You know, he works at Dillard's.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:19

So did his wife. They like sell perfume and like cologne shit.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:22

He sells suits, he's a suits guy now.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:24

Bam, bro, why the being went down the fucking job?

SPEAKER_03 1:18:26

I remember I was buying a dress shirt for like uh I think my mom's wedding or something. She had bought me this the like the jacket, and I just had to go buy a white shirt, but I needed it like fitted. Uh-huh. And I went in there and I was like looking, like just they have like some in plastic bags for people that like know their size for dress shirts. I'm like, I don't know what the fuck this 42, 50, 60, 10, 10, 10. What is my neck girth? What are we doing? So I get some like small Mexican boy to come measure my neck and stuff. And uh I look around in the corner over at the jackets and I see Stefano, and I'm like, oh no fucking way. What are you doing here? And uh I didn't say anything to him, but I like walked by him and went like like that, and he was like, and that was it. I never said I never like oh fuck you, you're working at Dillard's pussy. Like he knew that I caught him and he was like, Yeah, you won this one.

SPEAKER_06 1:19:12

All right. He's like, I'm retarded, dude. Here am I.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:16

Here am I here am I at Dillard's suits.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:20

Here am I selling suits. Well, what if he was like still like looking down? He was like, nah, dude, I'm at fucking Dillard's now.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:25

Yeah, yeah. He made it, dude.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:26

He is wearing a suit.

SPEAKER_06 1:19:28

Where'd you get those pants? JC Penny, bitch. You're dude, you're wearing a dillard.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:32

Yeah, come buy some pants from fucking Dillard's, you fucking pussy.

SPEAKER_06 1:19:35

That's two fucking different things that you wear a suit to work as a plumber. He wears a suit to work because he sells cologne at fucking Disney Diller.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:41

He's wearing a suit to sell pizza. I hope you like your soup. If you like pizza, uh, give me uh, he's my business card. We got a pizza place down the street in Lake City.

SPEAKER_06 1:19:51

I can't believe that fucking shit, dude. Bro, he used to like send me into like HEB to be like, yo, go get us some like cilantro.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:56

It was right out the back. He was like, we need more, we need more bell peppers. Yeah. It's like you fucker, why don't you have this? I'm washing the dishes. Yeah. By the time I get back, there's gonna be so many. Yeah. Like I gotta go to HB. And I every time I went to HB, I'd like fuck off. Dude, he would just walk around.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:11

He would like come back, he would be like, and bring the receipt, too. Like he didn't trust me. He would make me go like cilantro and like fucking whipping cream, and I would come back and he would be like, give me all the change and give me the receipt. I want to make sure you can't. You come back with whipping cream all over your face. I'm leaving with something, dude. All over your mustache. Oh my god. Fucked up off eggnog. Yeah. Did you eat some?

SPEAKER_03 1:20:34

You were like teaching us how to lay the lasagna in the pan.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:37

Yeah, they try to get us to become cooks. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:39

They were getting us to be like prep cooks for Antonio. They wanted us to prep everything for him so it could be faster.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:44

Yeah, this is one dude that worked at his name was Antonio. He used to have a flat brim like snapbag that had like a dollar sign that spun and he would always spin it. He was cool.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:52

He was gonna have him on Snapchat. He doesn't post anymore, but he used to just post like a video of like an Ultima Stereo with like uh Peso Pluma playing on it. Going like, and you can see his speedometer is like 99 miles an hour going straight straight to Bada B. Yeah, it's like Peso Plum, yeah. What a guy. Hopefully that guy's alright. He was having kids at a very young age.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:13

Oh my goodness, bro. He's driving 99 miles per hour. He's like, I don't know what the plan is.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:18

We're just gonna go fast in every aspect.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:21

Fuck, bro. I wish I could there's a part I wish I could like work one more shift there. Why don't we call them? Just so I can fuck up the bread and the walk-in cooler.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:28

Dude, let's both let's both apply and just send an application and see what they're doing. It's still there. True. True. But is that to pay for the H E B runs?

SPEAKER_06 1:21:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:42

There's extra money for cilantro and bell peppers.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:44

They're like, fuck this with never hiring anybody else.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:46

When we worked there, that was like a popular restaurant. People would like come in and like people by themselves would come down and like sit and try the food. It was a genuine Italian food. It was good. Yeah, good food. That was a good restaurant. It sucks at the people that owned it. Well, that guy's wife ruined them. Stefano was cool. Nella was a fucking so yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:02

My dad caught her. He was like, my dad was like, You fired my son and caught him retarded. I'm gonna sue you. I'll spend $10,000 to get that $200 paycheck. And whenever she like finally answered the phone, he was like, What's her name? What's her name? I was like, Nella, it's Nella. And he goes, Yeah, Nutella, hello?

SPEAKER_01 1:22:18

Got her ass. I was like, bang, got her ass.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:22

One shift there, I took a a hydro tongue tab. Okay. Which is uh hydro is like a pain pill, but I guess it came out with like tongue tabs. I got it from a friend who uh however however he got to me got them, and I put one in and I was sweating, was having a really hard time, and I left. And uh my freshly hired friend, I won't say his name because I don't think he would want me to say it here. Uh we're just worked there for three days.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:54

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:55

Uh we took a lunch break in his car and he's like, here, here's some hydro tabs. And uh I took a couple and I took one the night before playing GTA and got sick within a couple hours and went to work the next day, and I was sweating hard as fuck and like throwing up. I was like, I gotta go. He was on them currently also on like his second day there. And so I went home and then he called me crying in his truck. He was like, they just fired me. He was like, I I'm not doing the job they like I'm not going fast enough, I'm not doing it. And he called me crying, he's fucked up off hydros. Yeah, he's like crying. I was like, dude, like you don't have to have a job. Like you're I hang out to you every weekend, like we're you're fine, like you don't have to have a job, like you're okay. Like your parents have you, they got you. Uh you're all right. He's like everybody's wrong. He's like he's just like so high on hydros, it's like hurting him personally.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:46

He's like, they fucking fired me. Bro, you okay? We're at time.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:53

Um I'll see you guys next week. Let's do this next week. Yeah, what what let's make this a regular thing? Why don't we all just get together and talk every once in a while? Let's just make this a regular thing. Hey, keep it kosher, guys.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:04

I think uh Donnie, uh Donnie Donnie, whatever the fuck your last name is, you're on Instagram and wants to argue about basements and soil type and blah blah blah. Uh I love you. That's all I have to say.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:19

Uh ta. Ta ta. Ta ta.