Willie's Remedy - RTB Ep. 17

Beers. Brews. Cold ones. And more beers. And some laughs. Another week, another episode of fun! Come back every Monday for more!

Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:03

And we are back.

SPEAKER_06 0:06

And married. Alec is married now.

SPEAKER_05 0:08

I'm a married spot. I'm a married spot. I'm just going to get a shot. Hang the jersey from the rafters. So many disappointed men.

SPEAKER_04 0:17

Broken so many so many Latino men's hearts.

SPEAKER_05 0:21

And white guys. Don't forget about the white guys. Yeah, the white guys, too. And the blacks. The blacks love me also. I'm just the all-around jack of all traits. Five tool player. Dude. He puts the tool in five tool player. I had a fucking phenomenal week, guys. We had a great weekend. We didn't get back till today. I was gone for a week. I went from Thursday to Thursday, dude. I got back this morning. What the fuck? I got back this morning. I grinded out the last episode on editing. And I was like, damn. Yeah, bro. I got back today. We stayed, we stayed like an extra three days or some shit. And um, it was fun, don't get me wrong, but like we extended it an extra or two days. We extended an extra two days. Halfway through the extra first day, I was like, damn, dude, I'm ready to go home now. I'm like, shit, bro, I'm ready to go. Spent a lot of money. I got dark as shit. Soaked up the sun, bro. People start I got too dark. People started looking at me different whenever I was in New Broncos.

SPEAKER_04 1:13

For the beginning of the trip versus the end of the trip.

SPEAKER_05 1:15

The first two days, like the first two days I was there, everybody was like, Howdy, how are y'all? Super nice to me. By the end of the trip, they wouldn't hold the door open for me. They were like, you gotta get the fuck out of here. Been here too long. It's a sundowntown, bro. Everybody knows New Bronffels is a sundowntown. It was fucking fun though. We had uh some experiences on the weekend. Did we or did I?

SPEAKER_06 1:36

Um somebody's grandma. I don't know. Well, she was white, so I can say it's probably on uh your wife's side. Yeah. Uh she was handing out shots of uh Willie.

SPEAKER_02 1:47

There was like Willy Willie's Remedy. Willie's Remedy.

SPEAKER_06 1:50

Willie Nelson's new T should be liquor, drink. I should have known, dude. She gave it to us, and uh my buddy David was having some. He's like, dude, have some. I was like, no, no, no. And then the grandma was like, it's not gonna get you that high. You'll just get a little buzz, you'll feel mellow. So I said, okay, fuck it. I took some and I said, Hey Kenzie, come try some. I got my fiance to try some. And uh we spiraled downward for like four hours. I was space cadet. Yeah, dude. So on the way to the ceremony, I rode with uh Alex's brother-in-law, his dad, and his foreign baddie. And I had never been alone with the three of them individually or in a group in my entire life.

SPEAKER_02 2:36

And uh that car ride was crazy. But you texted me and you said, I'm so high, and I'm alone with three people I've never been alone with before.

SPEAKER_06 2:44

Yeah, it was very scary. Very scary. Uh your grandma, uh Alex grandma came to the car to chat with us for a little bit. I was on like 12 out of 10 on a scale of 10.

SPEAKER_02 2:59

Bro, what is the percentage on this stuff? Remedy from what?

SPEAKER_05 3:02

It's just called Willie's remedy. And I should have.

SPEAKER_06 3:07

10 milligrams, I'm assuming like per shot. Yeah. We had like we had like this. It was a double. This much. Yeah. So 20 for a guy that doesn't really smoke weed very often. That's she.

SPEAKER_05 3:18

I'm sure too. She comes up to us and she's like, we like first got there. It was like uh uh the first day, like we get there, and um she like walks up like the you know like the deck was yeah, she like walks up to the top of it and she like has these two little shot glasses. And I thought it was like uh like the canned seltzer, THC seltzer things that like do nothing, like you can drink all of them and you just feel like a buzz, and like that's it. Yeah, I thought it was one of those because I don't smoke anymore, and I'm like, Well, that's my wedding weekend. Like, I'll I'll have some fun, right? And she gives me some of this shit and she goes, It's not gonna really do much to you. And it's like a shot, bro. It's like a little shot glass, like how you said it was like this much. And uh, I drink it, bro. And then we had to go to Guitar Center to pick up the speaker. Like on the way there, I was like, dude, I feel like I took a fucking blunt to the face, it lit me up so hard. It was called Willie's Remedy, and uh I didn't hear her like tell me what the name of it was. If she would have told me it was called Willie's Remedy, and I would have focused on what she said, I probably wouldn't have taken it. But we get there like halfway to Guitar Center, and I'm so fucked up. I'm like, yo, whatever Mima gave us, like that shit tore me up so bad. I was like, is it one of those like THC like seltzer can things? And he was like, No, dude, she got that shit from like some gas station in Texas City, and I was like, Oh darn, dude. That's Texas City pack, bro.

SPEAKER_04 4:34

I'm fucking Texas City pack is like guys who work in the plans who like they used to be on crystal meth and they need something and yeah, something that's also not gonna show up on drug tests, yeah, bro.

SPEAKER_06 4:46

So it's literally like liquid K2 almost. That's probably what it was. Yeah, most likely.

SPEAKER_04 4:50

What is the remedy? Like, oh, are are you do you struggle from not drooling on yourself? We have a remedy for that.

SPEAKER_05 4:57

No, bro. Peyton's grandma was on that shit nonstop too because she kept like side-eyeing me every time she'd see me, she would just be like, like she looked like scared. I know she was high off her ass the whole time, bro.

SPEAKER_06 5:09

Maybe she was so high, she was like, I can't be the only one. I think so. Dude, she was dosing people. Yeah, dude, I got hit with a heavy dose. On the fucking on the way to the ceremony, I just let it out. Like, I had to let people know that I was like uncomfortably high. And I was like, hey guys, what's in that yellow's grandma gave us this drink? Do you all know what that was? And they're like, You drank that? And I was like, Yeah, she gave us like a big shot of it. And then uh Gage's dad, he was like, Oh, dude, that's not weed. Whatever that is, I don't know what's in it, it's not weed. So my heart starts like pounding. I'm getting more scared. When Gage's dad is telling you to tread lightly, yeah, it's fucking crazy.

SPEAKER_08 5:47

He's the drug voice of reason, dude. He fucked up, bro.

SPEAKER_06 5:50

Yeah, also a side note, yeah, he got high, fell asleep on the couch, and was farting. That was really funny.

SPEAKER_02 5:56

He just kept tooting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 5:58

That was crazy as fuck. And then we get to the ceremony. I'm standing by myself, obviously. Um, I can't talk to I have my sunglasses on, avoiding anybody and everybody. Um hands in pockets, basically. And then I hear Gage say something to his dad, and his dad looks at me of all people, he's like, hey, Gage forgot the rings. Yeah. He's like, Yeah, dude. And so I fucking I start walking to the car, and then I'm like overthinking. I'm like, they probably need these like bad, they probably need them now. So I take off in a full sprint in my suit, and I'm my heart's already pounding, I'm already really high. My heart's going crazy now. I'm about to have a heart attack. I open the back door, the rings are just in the seat. They're just sitting there. I grab them and run all the way back as fast as I can. And I give them to Gage's dad. And he's like, Alright, thanks, man. And just like slowly walks up there. I'm like, dude, I could have fucking walked.

SPEAKER_05 6:51

Not a care in the world, dude. Yeah, we well, we've gone to that fucking private island like a hundred times. No one ever says nothing. It's usually like a kid that's like lifeguard, doesn't give a fuck. Yeah, like you just walk in there, right? Granted, we've never had like camera people there with us and like in a bride's like 30 people in a wedding, a wedding dress, and you know what I mean? We like pull up for the first time ever, they're like, Who you guys here with? What's the address? And we're like, Oh fuck, this is not gonna go. Are you high right now? Yeah, you ever get nervous? Yeah, yeah, it was uh it was it could have it honestly the guy was a fucking pimp, bro. Cause like yeah, for sure. I keep forgetting that you were there because none of you guys were there. So it was a private ceremony. Like when we get there, like they started like questioning us, like, what are you guys doing here? Like, what's the address? What are y'all here for? Yada yada. And Peyton immediately was like, All right, look, I'm not gonna beat around the bush, I'm just gonna give it to you straight. Like, we used to have property in this neighborhood. I grew up coming here every year. My grandma died, we don't have property here anymore. It's my last time here. We're gonna get a private ceremony and just marry and leave. And the guy was like, If any of this gets posted on social media, I'm gonna lose my job. And we were like, Yeah, and he goes, Look, I'm not gonna ruin your wedding day. I wasn't here, and he just like walked off and like just let us do our own thing on the island, bro. Because he definitely could have shut that shit down. He 100% could have shut that shit down. We're putting this on social media, dude. It's impossible.

SPEAKER_06 8:07

Straight on roofing juice, straight to room two beers though. Sorry, yeah, dude. Get fired, come on the pod, restart your life. All right, 100 subscriber is gonna be the owner of the fucking uh private island.

SPEAKER_05 8:19

Oh, dude. Well, let's hope not. You saw you come up to me afterwards and you go, what the fuck's wrong with your grandma's eyes?

SPEAKER_06 8:28

Dude, yeah, so we're sitting in the car. Uh, like, I don't remember if we were just getting there, waiting to leave. Like, I had no track of time. But I'm sitting on the far side on behind the driver's seat, and uh your grandma comes up on the passenger side, gauge dad rolls down the window, and this lady pokes her head in and starts talking. And I look over and I lock eyes with her, and her eyes are like blue, like uh royal blue, like Kansas City Royals blue. Flag up there, blue, blue that's and uh I immediately I just go like this and I stare. She's talking for like 10 minutes. She has this whole all his family that he brought is like sitting there at the window.

SPEAKER_07 9:08

I thought she looked exactly like that, dude.

SPEAKER_06 9:10

I was freaking the fuck out. Because like like, you know, like Mexic Hispanics are like into like witchcraft or like they have ghosts at their house, and like you hear stuff like, oh yeah, my fucking Tia's house is haunted, or whatever the fuck. They're like this video with these blue eyes, dude. Worse. No, dude, pull up the dune, pull up the yeah, pull up uh and so your whole your whole side of the family that's yeah, like that. But it's uh it's the pupil, not the white part, it's the pupil. Yeah, like the bottom left. Yeah, yes, it looked like this. It looked literally like that, but on an older Hispanic woman, like super dark skin.

SPEAKER_05 9:46

They're like the clear as day, like colored contacts. I don't know why she wears them. She's always worn them, too.

SPEAKER_06 9:51

So for like 10 minutes, your whole side of the family's at the car door, like, and I know a few of them, so I probably seem like an absolute asshole. But I'm just like this the whole time. And they leave. Are you like scared? Yes. Yeah, I wasn't like it wasn't like I was gonna look back and laugh. Like I was frightened.

SPEAKER_04 10:05

It was like the fucking hypnotoed from uh from Bicharama. Like um, I'm gonna see how I die if I'm looking at his eye.

SPEAKER_06 10:13

I thought if I like looked at her again, like I was gonna spiral down again.

SPEAKER_04 10:16

I'm gonna see like my I'm gonna see my death. My actual like uh like that movie Big Fish, where the lady like tells him I was gonna die.

SPEAKER_08 10:24

Okay, he goes, No, I'm not gonna lie, I thought like your grandma was like a demon.

SPEAKER_05 10:28

Dude, yeah, I was I was the way he described it, you would have thought it was like a Demogorgon like bleeding through the window.

SPEAKER_06 10:33

Very scary, very scary. But then uh they leave or whatever, and this is kind of where my bad trip turns into like an awesome time. We're driving back to the Airbnb, we're gonna have the reception, the party. Uh I'm gonna get a few beers of me so I can get rid of this high. And uh on the way back, the the silence is broken by Gage, and he says, What the fuck is up with Alex Grandma's eyes? And I finally someone could relate to me the past hour and a half, and it just completely mellowed me out. And then at the same time, uh Kinzie, who also took it, she texts me. I had a text message, and I'm thinking, like, oh fuck, she's probably mad at me or something. It says, When will the effects of this lesson?

SPEAKER_07 11:11

It's so fucking funny.

SPEAKER_04 11:14

It's so like uh like very reasonable. I'm like I'm not asking for much. Yeah, okay. I don't I don't expect the miracle. All right. I just need a little bit less.

SPEAKER_05 11:28

When was like a side effects lesson? That's dude, she was fucking chat GPT spiraling dog. Dude, absolutely.

SPEAKER_06 11:34

I got back to the house because they're like, you need to go get Kenzie from upstairs. She's like asleep or something, and I was like, okay. And then I found David and just like walked around David for 30 minutes and she came down. Yeah. And I was like, How are you doing? She's like, oh no.

SPEAKER_05 11:47

Bro, it's fucking David, dude. Don't even get me started on David.

SPEAKER_06 11:49

David, dude, get me started on David. I love David.

SPEAKER_05 11:52

David on a Friday night, sign me up, dude. This motherfucker, dude, he like, okay. He gets there at 8 a.m., like in the morning on Friday morning. And um he had to work the night before and he had it like close. So he didn't get off work till like 11 something. I think he drove straight here. Holy shit. Yeah, I think he got here at like three or four in the morning, and he said he didn't sleep. He just like stayed up. Which is first of all, like, what the fuck? What are you doing? Like, you know you have a long day tomorrow. The itinerary says you start at 8 a.m. You don't want to catch a little bit of sleep.

SPEAKER_09 12:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 12:23

That's on him. He gets there at fucking 8 a.m. He didn't sleep. He's like, Yeah, bro, I've been up for like 36 hours. Dude, by 9 o'clock, he was already pounding beers. Like, no sleep, just pounding beers at 9 a.m. I think by noon he was fucked up.

SPEAKER_06 12:36

So David, yeah, he drank all his beers and then he smoked a giant.

SPEAKER_04 12:39

Smoking weed and being crossfaded with no sleep.

SPEAKER_00 12:42

Yeah. Yeah. That's literally wild. We were sitting down watching y'all play cornhole, and he looks over at me and he's like, I'm kind of drunk. I'm like, David, it's fucking noon.

SPEAKER_05 12:51

Yeah, dude. He started early. And he's still, bro, I'm still pissed, though. There's no excuse, bro. I'm still pissed.

SPEAKER_00 12:55

You gotta take it back to the bachelor party though.

SPEAKER_05 12:57

No, dude. For my bachelor trip, bro. David at my bachelor trip, David falls asleep at 8 p.m. Every night on my bachelor's trip. We're only there for two nights. Right? Two or three two nights? Two nights, three days, yeah. We're only there for two nights.

SPEAKER_06 13:12

Well, if you get the day we left, we were supposed to leave it. We stayed until like noon and you fucking got called.

SPEAKER_05 13:16

But no, dude, at 8 p.m. he was asleep both nights on my bachelor trip, and I gave him shit the whole time. I was like, dude, it's my fucking bachelor's trip. You're going to sleep. The sun's barely going down, you're going to sleep. And I was like, so pissed. My wedding day comes around 8 p.m. He's like, I'm heading out. Like the dance floor hasn't even opened yet, dude. Where the fuck are you going?

SPEAKER_06 13:33

The thing about David is you have to appreciate him while he's there. Like anything, appreciate life before you eventually you're gonna die. Definitely, David's gonna leave or fall asleep. David, while he's there and while he's awake, it's hard to find a better guy. It's funny. If he fucked up, if you want to get fucked up, go hang out with David. It won't last long, but it'll be the best few hours.

SPEAKER_00 13:58

I fucking belly laughed, but the whole time we were taking photos, I mean we were all buzzing. I was belly laughing the whole time. David? Oh, everybody. I mean, like David mostly, because we were doing that whole circle thing around you. We kept grabbing each other's junk.

SPEAKER_05 14:11

Yeah, I he was cross for sure. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 14:15

He falls asleep at 8 p.m. at your bachelor party, but he stays awake for like 48 hours. Like he's his circadian rhythm is just playing the most trash beats ever.

SPEAKER_06 14:24

David did a lot of funny things, but just now, rethinking it, the funniest thing he did was get hammered by probably like 10 a.m. and just starts throwing a football as hard as he fucking can. He's like throwing 90 mile an hour fucking spirals.

SPEAKER_03 14:43

Piss missiles.

SPEAKER_06 14:44

Yeah, like hurting his arm. He keeps saying, like, oh dude, my fucking arm hurts. You know, passing the ball and he'll just as hard as he can.

SPEAKER_05 14:50

He was throwing it so hard that he started saying that his hip hurting. It was like his left hip, like your opening hip. Just putting everything into it. Like, yeah, dude, I'm like playing too hard on my like my he goes, Alec, can you look at my form and tell me if my form's good? He's like throwing the ball as hard as he can.

SPEAKER_04 15:06

Yeah, he's like, dude, I think I have to get Tommy John surgery.

SPEAKER_06 15:09

That's yeah, that's what we were saying, dude. He fucking just got drunk, started throwing the ball hard as shit.

SPEAKER_05 15:13

At the end of the evening, bro, it was like 6 p.m. And I was like, Where is David? And like I went out to the front to like go say what's up to somebody. He was walking back from his car, him and Victoria, and he was like, I took a nap in my truck, dude. And then an hour later, he's like, Hey man, I'm heading out, dude. I'm I gotta get out of here, bro.

SPEAKER_06 15:31

Yeah, I enabled that a lot.

SPEAKER_05 15:33

Did you tell that motherfucker to go take a nap in his truck? No, I got him.

SPEAKER_06 15:37

He we were kind of riding in it together. Everything he did, I did. I got drunk in the morning time. I was there too, dude. Yeah, yeah. You were there with you guys.

SPEAKER_00 15:44

Yeah, I mean, we were all kind of on pace. I mean, I didn't smoke or take the wheel.

SPEAKER_06 15:48

I think the the Willy's really set him off course with the sleep thing, I think. He just got he's used to being high, but I don't think he's used to being like trying to fight the sleep that hard. Usually he can just go to sleep.

SPEAKER_05 15:57

Well, yeah, that's the thing about David. If he wants to do something, he's doing it. Yeah. Like there's no that's it.

SPEAKER_06 16:02

I remember we were sitting at the the dinner table. You get a V lo down, and uh there's a lot of laughter there because I I just kept looking at him and laughing. But over his shoulder was his wife, and she didn't even have a smile. She had the opposite of a smile. She was so upset, and I felt bad. I just put one in. Oh, is that the last one? Take it. I have another package over there, too. I'll go over there. Luckies, if you buy any nicotine product, you get this for 99 cents. What is that? Uh nicotine pouches. Some bullshit brand. Kind of tasting.

SPEAKER_04 16:32

Sorry. Start the story over.

SPEAKER_06 16:37

Oh, yeah, David's wife was mad. You can tell she definitely fucking hates me. I was on the same page as David, and I think she wanted him to settle down, and I kept getting him to like giggle a little bit. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_05 16:49

And he said he had like barbecue sauce, like all over his shit.

SPEAKER_06 16:52

Yeah, David was slouched in the chair, two chairs away from the groom. Uh barbecue sauce all on his shirt. Dude, just barbecue sauce all in his titties. Yeah, dude. He was literally sitting like this. He said barbecue sauce all over his dress shirt. Missed the tie with the barbecue sauce, thank God. But uh, good lord.

SPEAKER_05 17:15

Dude, Casey was like also, I don't know how long it took for that shit to wear off on Casey. I it felt like it had to be all day. It was the dude, the video of you with the eye drops, that shit made me laugh so fucking hard. Do you have the video done? Yeah, I like it. Can you fucking pull it up, dude?

SPEAKER_06 17:31

I fucking kept asking everybody like I'd take my sunglasses off and I'll say, Do I look better now? And they'd say, Fuck no, absolutely not. You look the same. And uh I just I couldn't shake the look. So I asked Gage if he had eye drops, and he was like, sure. And he took me upstairs to his dad's room. So I was putting him in. I can't keep my eyes open. Uh Gage tried to manually hold my eyes open. I couldn't keep them open. I kept shutting them. So he just kind of like pours it all over my face. And uh I say, Is it better? And he says, No. I said, Well, it's gonna have to work. Yeah, dude, that shit was so I went back downstairs and I still looked high, but it looked like I had like been crying also.

SPEAKER_05 18:07

Dude, like I was very your shoulder was like wet from like all the eye drops. It was terrible. There's like there's like a live photo of dots. There's like a live photo of him, and he's like going like this, like and you can just see him from behind holding it open, and you just hear Casey go, dude, I'm absolutely fried right now.

SPEAKER_06 18:23

Dude, I literally I haven't been that high in probably 10 years.

SPEAKER_04 18:27

I'm just picturing like every time you see Gage's dad, he's making you feel like self-conscious about your situation. He's like, Your eyes are super red. Dude, actually, Cage are you so sweaty from running?

SPEAKER_06 18:35

Gage's dad was kind of my rock. Every time I saw him, he's like, How you doing? Are you doing better? The next day at the river, I was taking a piss in the little bathroom. He pulled up in the urinal. He's like, What's up, champ? You feeling better? Yeah, also a nice cock. But yes, I feel better.

SPEAKER_08 18:50

This shit was so fucking funny.

SPEAKER_05 18:52

Gosh, that fuck this video here, dude. This shit fucking kills me.

SPEAKER_08 18:57

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05 18:57

This gotta have the work.

SPEAKER_06 19:00

Dude, you look so fucked up. Yeah, I was fried. I was fried. I have no excuse. You're fucking excited.

SPEAKER_04 19:07

You were just bobbing and weaving the eye drops like fucking Mayweather.

SPEAKER_06 19:10

Yeah. I couldn't handle it. Shoulder rolls. I couldn't handle it.

SPEAKER_08 19:13

He said, Alright, this is gonna have the way.

SPEAKER_06 19:14

So I go back outside, I put the sunglasses on, dance floor's open now. I'm kind of starting to level out. I've had a Mikelobe Ultra. I'm working on a few more. Um, Alex's biological father. He he starts walking my way. I say, Okay, we'll do a handshake. Nice to meet you. Shake his hand, and he says, Uh, I've heard uh you talking shit about me on the podcast.

SPEAKER_04 19:34

I'm right next to you. Yeah. And you have sunglasses on, and I know your state. Like, I know like your headspace right now. That's the thing.

SPEAKER_06 19:41

I saw him walking towards me, and I pulled this move. Like, I'm gonna take him off, and I said, Oh, I put him back on. And then he says that, and I say, I don't know what it. I might have said, like, oh, what? I don't know what I said. It was something like kind of like uh deflective.

SPEAKER_04 19:56

I'm pretty sure you like win the astral projection, probably.

SPEAKER_06 19:58

You're just kind of like, dude, am I is Alex's biological dad gonna fucking beat my ass at Alex's wedding?

SPEAKER_05 20:05

Yeah, he comes up to me afterwards and he's like, Oh yeah, I met your dad, dude. I think he wants to beat my ass, bro. And I was like, what happened? He was like, first thing he said to me, dude, I heard you've been talking a lot of fucking shit about me, or something like that.

SPEAKER_06 20:15

Dude, I got to bond with him uh a little later in the night. I got more so drunk than high, and I started to feel I was social again. And I found him and I was like, What do you do for work? He's like, I work at the plant. And dude, I was just crossfit. I was like, dude, hell yeah, we'd be nowhere without blue-collar guys like 90, 70, 90. Totally nerding out.

SPEAKER_04 20:35

But uh I didn't know who I didn't know he was your dad at first. So I was like, I was like, is this is this fucking Mike Wiley? Like he was like this guy. What the fuck is this? Yeah, or you're talking shit about me.

SPEAKER_06 20:51

Mike Wiley, we love you. We still we love you. Shout out to Mike Wiley.

SPEAKER_04 20:54

I was running through like all the people, all the our rogues gallery. I'm like, people, I was like, is this by is this Byron Gnome? Who the fuck is it? Did he get it? He got the invite, like dude.

SPEAKER_05 21:04

Like you were you definitely were getting like fucked up because uh like throughout the night, like six different times throughout the night, you kept going through me like, dude, your dad's kind of the man, bro.

SPEAKER_06 21:15

It wouldn't have taken much convincing for me to go back to his place.

SPEAKER_04 21:19

No, he had a he had a good sense of humor for sure. No, I didn't know.

SPEAKER_06 21:23

He ended up being really cool about that. So he was like, I was just joking, man. This shit was funny. And then I still really didn't know what to say, and he just kind of left. And then that's why I felt the urge to like go up and talk to him. Yeah, because uh it felt awkward. But now it's it's super cool. No, it was cool. Like, watch you guys like catch up and play catch. We didn't play fucking catch, dude. You guys, yeah, you this is like the only guy you threw the ball to on the river. Shut the fuck up, dude. Dude, everybody noticed they were like what they used to not do this or dad the fucking football.

SPEAKER_05 21:51

Yeah, dude, everybody was talking about it.

SPEAKER_07 21:53

What did you say about the football? Oh, dude, this was the funniest shit I heard all weekend. We were like That was so fucking funny.

SPEAKER_04 22:02

Okay, this goes well back into like the river float the very next day. Uh the river float, which was at 10 a.m. on the on the itinerary after we fucking stayed up drinking until like 2 a.m. Yeah. This is very ambitious, but I was surprised. Like we were on the water by like 11. We rallied. And uh we were kind of putting everything together, everyone's getting their tubes ready, everyone's kind of situating their shit, tying their shit together, whatever. And uh we're like, we should bring a football out here. Yeah, and I was like, I know a guy who has a football.

SPEAKER_05 22:34

I had a football in my trunk. I thought I don't tell you, dude. I have like a really, really good leather football that I paid, like it was on it, it was like a $110 football, it was on sale for like $70. But it's like a fucking good ass football. And I was like, I'll buy it. It was like after my tax return hit, I was like, fuck yeah, I'll give you a football in. And uh I like I thought it was in my car, and my little brother was like, uh, oh, I'll go get the football, I'll go get the football. He ran up there, and I was like, immediately got pissed. I was like, no, dude. I was like, I don't want that football to get waterlogged and all fucked up. And he went and got it anyway and throw it in the river, and everybody was like, dude, dude, at one point Gage goes, Are you guys down to like chip in and throw in some money so we can ruin this football and bring another? Three ways or four ways or something. All the guys like vetoed me, they're like, nah, dude, we're taking your football on the river trip. We'll we'll we'll chip in for the football, right, guys? Everyone's like, Yeah, we'll throw in. I'm like, bro, are you fucking kidding me? They throw the football in, and it wasn't the football I was thinking of, and I was like, Oh, okay, I don't give a fuck about this football, whatever.

SPEAKER_04 23:28

We should fuck with you about that football the whole time.

SPEAKER_05 23:30

Like, oh, this is who sold you this for $70. Would you say I was saving the football?

SPEAKER_04 23:35

Oh, yeah, you're being super protective. You're like, oh, you saving this and just start with this play catch with his dad later.

SPEAKER_08 23:41

No, not that football. That football's for me and my dad.

SPEAKER_06 23:44

Everybody's gonna be here at 7 30, but could you get here at 7? I kind of have something in mind.

SPEAKER_04 23:49

I've been breaking in this baseball glove all weekend. I've been every time I looked at Alec, he was sitting on a baseball glove. Yeah, just waiting, just twiddling my feet.

SPEAKER_05 23:57

I wonder if he's gonna play catch with me again.

SPEAKER_06 24:01

Yeah, I will say uh at the end of Saturday night when uh you were like, hey, can you show me how to like tie up this the washerboards? He like showed you how to do it. I imagined you was like a seven-year-old and it was actually very sweet. Yeah, then I was also drunk as fuck. But yeah, uh, I was like, oh man, that's so so sweet. You were like, oh, what the fuck lose here? This is gay. This guy needs to fucking grow up. Pick this shit up on YouTube.

SPEAKER_07 24:24

Stop asking your dad. But hey dad, can you show me how to tie a fisherman nut?

SPEAKER_05 24:30

Oh my, I was giving him shit though. We were on the river and like Dustin like fell out, was like out of his tube and like looking around or something. Someone was like, Did he lose something? I was like, Yeah, only his son for like 15 years, no big deal, though. He found all jokes, Dustin. All jokes. All jokes. He's not watching this shit, dude. He only watches the clips. He's not a real fan.

SPEAKER_06 24:48

I'd I'd beg to differ.

SPEAKER_05 24:50

Nah, he's cool. He's kind of the man, dude. He is kind of the man. He's kind of the man. He's kind of the man. Carson's the man, too, bro. Oh fucking Carson, whenever uh we were decorating the cake, and uh we we had we picked uh so at the we for our cake decoration, uh, we didn't want to do like a regular just like cut the cake thing. Dude, it was that was so fucking shit. And we it was Peyton's idea. Like she came up with that on her own. She didn't see a TikTok or anything, she came up with that. That's cool as fun. So like we took our cake and we had all types of candy and sprinkles and gummy worms and all types of shit, and we just like decorated our own cake and stuff, like and put candles in it and blew it out. We just did whatever we wanted, right? Yeah. And uh we had two songs that we were gonna play while we were doing the cake, and it was uh Beauty and the Beast by Kanye, and then it was uh My uh Devil in a New Dress by Kanye. And so we the cake decorating took like a little bit longer than we thought it was going to. And I told Dustin, I was like, hey, I was like, it took a long time.

SPEAKER_06 25:46

Long time. And I had a bad scene. I was watching through a window, through another window.

SPEAKER_04 25:50

It took a long time. We're like, is it Rick Ross's uh verse yet?

SPEAKER_06 25:53

Yeah, we did, and it was like surely, it's been going, and then uh Rick Ross's verse started with. Oh, we got like four more minutes in anyway. But it was beautiful. I'm not taking a lot of the reason. Yeah, that was awesome.

SPEAKER_05 26:04

Uh Dawson took forever to start playing the music. Finally, Carson just took his take his phone and starts doing it, starts playing the two songs. The two songs in, and I look at Carson, I'm like, yo, just cue up something that I like, like put on some more Kanye or something. It's like, I got you. And you put on flashing lights right afterwards, and the fucking beat lined up perfectly with us blowing out the candles for flashing lights, and it was so fucking sick.

SPEAKER_06 26:23

You know what was even cooler than that, I thought was uh the room was dark and it was flash photography. Yeah, so hearing the song Flashing Lights and Flash Photography.

SPEAKER_05 26:29

I was like, Yeah, it was so fucking sick, bro. I it was we've watched that video like 10 times, right? You're welcome. I was on my Twitch duty. Oh yeah. But the Donovan was the one. Donovan was the fucking Donovan was the ox man.

SPEAKER_06 26:44

Donovan was the ox man, bro. Donovan did his thing. Yeah, I tried to get a lot of things.

SPEAKER_05 26:48

Bro, yeah, I I individually told each of my groommen, I was like, hey, this is gonna be a group effort because we don't have a DJ. I'm to all of you, it's like all of you set alarms and read the timeline, just play the right music. Then I went over to Don. I was like, hey, bro, I'm gonna be honest with you. I trust you way fucking more than I trust the rest of these guys to do this. I was like, can you be on top of this shit? And he's like, I got you. Yeah, and I wasn't nervous, like, fuck, dude, I don't want the music to fuck up. Dog, he had the fucking fade in and out. He had the music on point, everything, bro. A real professional. It was like being a DJ. Yeah, Donovan did an awesome job. It was so fucking sick. It was awesome. It was a badass time, bro. It was my first wedding, man. It was fantastic. It was my first wedding. It was funny the first wing's for sure gonna be my best wedding.

SPEAKER_06 27:27

Imagine, yeah, but the second one's like you've already practiced. Yeah, no how to really do it.

SPEAKER_05 27:32

You'll know how to fuck by then for my fucking uh next bachelor trip, dude.

SPEAKER_06 27:37

Same. I'm gonna I might have one. I might have a baby one. Probably just like Charles again. I keep getting emails for like two free nights at Lake Charles, and I keep thinking like that'd be perfect.

SPEAKER_05 27:46

Well, give me a timeline, I'll fucking figure it out.

SPEAKER_06 27:48

Yeah, I gotta figure out.

SPEAKER_04 27:50

Do we do that or do we like the fucking Scouser version and just go to like Lafayette or something like that? No, dude, you gotta go to Batrouge. I was the price.

SPEAKER_06 27:59

I think I might if I did that, I might end up on the backside of marriage. I might I might get into some trouble on the streets of New Wayland.

SPEAKER_05 28:09

Hike home one like with like a semi-truck or some shit. Yeah, dude. I think you had like a special experience like meeting everybody in my family, bro. I did.

SPEAKER_06 28:16

It was a trip, dude. It was a trip.

SPEAKER_05 28:18

Oh man, it was so fucking funny. Dude, you like explaining like all the you you kept telling me how high you were. Even when we were sitting down, you like had your glasses on, you kept looking at me, you're like, Do I look fucked up? And you're like, show me your glasses, and I'll be like, Holy shit. You'd be like, oh my god. I was like, put the glasses back on. I did it to him for like five minutes. Yeah. I was like, dude, you put the glasses back on. And he was like, fuck, dude.

SPEAKER_06 28:40

Kept covering up. Yeah, it was getting dark, and I was like, uh, how long can I keep this going on? The sun was down, he still had his glasses on. Yeah, I definitely just looked like a fucking douchebag. Like, all right, best man is still wearing the sunglasses.

SPEAKER_08 28:51

Oh, dude, he fucking, whenever he was high as fuck, you told him, or Gage told you, yeah, no, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 28:56

Best man's speech. Yeah. And uh you texted uh Huey, said, bro, please chat GPT, chat GPT me at best man's speech and send it to me.

SPEAKER_06 29:04

He sent me like three paragraphs, and it I kind of like skimmed through it. By the time you sent it, Gage had already told me, like, I'm just kidding. But I knew if anybody could fucking give me a chat GPT message quickly, it'd be Huey. And he did. That was within like like five minutes or so. You had time? I think we're at time, yeah. Okay, cool. I took a piss. And text up.

SPEAKER_05 29:25

So that was all that was all Friday. Saturday was when the float was. Float was fucking great too. Dude, the float was actually it was like the perfect float because uh we had like a good number of people too. Yeah, yeah. It was like uh it was probably what the it was probably almost damn near 20 people, huh? Yeah, yeah. It was a lot of people, dude. Squatted up.

SPEAKER_06 29:45

It was about 20, I would I would say.

SPEAKER_05 29:46

Dude, like halfway through the float, my uh my little brother like hops out of the tube and starts running up the apartment stairs. Oh yeah. I didn't know what he was doing. I thought he had like the zoomies. If you just looked up, he was just running up like some random apartments, and then it's like I found out that's where they were staying. I was like, that makes so much more sense. I was fucked up. Yeah. I was like, where's that little dude going? I thought he was gonna jump off the bridge at one point.

SPEAKER_06 30:05

Oh, that would be awesome.

SPEAKER_05 30:08

At one point in time, the the river there used to be like high enough to where like you could jump off the bridges. Yeah, yeah. It's always so low now, which is like and it was higher than it normally is this time, but it used to be way higher, bro. It used to be like you couldn't really walk in a lot of the spots. Yeah, it used to be really, really, really, really high.

SPEAKER_04 30:30

That's like the best low investment trip as far as like the river trip? Yeah, dude. Like 20, 25 bucks a person. You get a ride back.

SPEAKER_05 30:46

It's a good time.

SPEAKER_06 30:49

The river trips for me. I have the most fun like hanging out at the houses before and after. Yeah. The float's like the main thing, but then uh I'm I'm more of like a quality time guy. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Getting shit housed at the crib. Yeah, like getting shit faced and like talking to different people. Uh that's probably like my favorite thing in the world to do. Yeah. That that's it. That's the big get really drunk and be a friend.

SPEAKER_05 31:09

Oh, dude, you fucking up the washer boards, bro.

SPEAKER_06 31:13

That was fun.

SPEAKER_05 31:13

Slam wash that's our new thing, also. Yeah. We fucking love washers. We usually guys start playing a lot with us. Yeah, we will. We sure will. Yeah, I like it better than cornhole. I think I do like it better than cornhole now.

SPEAKER_06 31:24

I do it's more challenging for sure.

SPEAKER_04 31:26

It's it's new. It is hella satisfying. We're like making one, like, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 31:31

Dude, the sound it makes too. Sounds like a Jew fell on the concrete. Sound of the washers gets the board.

SPEAKER_06 31:38

Jizz.

SPEAKER_01 31:42

Um bro, Hamza lost, bro. Dude, thank God.

SPEAKER_04 31:47

Dude, America's back. Dude, good old US.

SPEAKER_05 31:51

That's right, that's right. America's back, bro. Freedom's the only way. I thought it was gonna be a massacre. I thought, dude, I genuinely thought that Hamzat was gonna beat that boy down into a pulp. I thought it was just gonna be another crucifix.

SPEAKER_02 32:07

Sorry to get off track here, but still kind of on track. What's going down for the White House card?

SPEAKER_05 32:12

Like with us? Yeah. You try you guys wanna do something?

SPEAKER_06 32:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 32:15

Yeah. You guys want to do something?

SPEAKER_06 32:17

I never want to do something more.

SPEAKER_04 32:18

Dude, bro, let's fucking do something. Dude, I wanna have uh When is it? Uh Memorial Day weekend. Or is it Memorial Day?

SPEAKER_00 32:25

Oh, oh yeah, it's in June. Oh, it's in June? Yeah, it's in June. I'm absolutely trying. I think it's June 14th. I can look it up real quick. Juneteenth? June 14th.

SPEAKER_04 32:33

I hope it's not the weekend of Juneteenth, because I'm gonna be out of town, I'm gonna be in Florida. Oh shit. But if it's the weekend before that, it sounded like it. If it's a month from now, we're doing something.

SPEAKER_05 32:44

Did you search stuff like the weather weatherman and family guy?

SPEAKER_00 32:47

Is that on a Saturday? No, I think it my brother told me that it was on a Sunday. What's going on? On Donald Trump's birthday.

SPEAKER_05 32:55

Alright, we're gonna be there.

SPEAKER_00 32:55

That's why they're doing it at the time.

SPEAKER_05 32:56

Not even America's birthday, just Donald Trump's original. Donald Trump is birthday, yeah. Dude, it is a false flag waiting to happen.

SPEAKER_06 33:02

Dude, we'll get a candle and cake, we'll do a whole thing. It's gonna be awesome. That's a craziest card.

SPEAKER_05 33:07

Wait, go scroll down a little bit, Dun? Let's see. Alright, we got open Gagey. Bo Nichols fighting too? Chandler? Uh Derek Lewis, bro. Any card with Derek Lewis on it is gonna be fucking someone's gonna win.

SPEAKER_06 33:21

Read the top three.

SPEAKER_05 33:22

O'Malley, uh Pereira and Cyril Gone. Bro, Pereira's gonna knock that boy's head off. Ilya and Justin Gagey. No, dude, not Gagey.

SPEAKER_06 33:31

I know, dude. He's gonna fetter the wolves.

SPEAKER_05 33:33

He's getting fed of the wolves. Dude, nah, Gagey.

SPEAKER_00 33:36

According to my brother as well, because he's big in the UFC and keeps up with it. Apparently, it's rumored that there might be a McGregor fight on the White House guard.

SPEAKER_05 33:44

He was gonna fight Chandler, dude. If anything, he was gonna fight Chandler. Maybe that's the real if he gops on there. I'm down, I'm game.

SPEAKER_04 33:51

The only thing Connor McGregor's fighting is cocaine addiction. Yeah, he's not doing it. Yeah, he's losing. He's fighting for his life.

SPEAKER_05 33:58

Dude, throw throw him in there with Clav, bro. Make him fight clavicular dog. Dude. That's gonna be a fucking sick card, bro. But yeah, Hamzat lost, dude. Hamzat lost, bro. I was telling everybody, too. I was telling everybody, dude, yeah, Hamzat's gonna just absolutely elbow, just elbow this guy's into the fucking octagon. And Dashaun. He pulled guard. Dashawn. He made him pull guard. I was saying, like, bro.

SPEAKER_04 34:25

I think what what's crazy about him is like I feel like Sean Strickland almost only practices counter-wrestling. I feel like he does like all his whole game plan is like how do I get back up? And he's so good at it, because that's just what he works on. Yeah. All day. Like, whereas like other people fail. Yeah, his defense on when it comes to grappling. Against comza uh uh is against Hamza is that they they try to out wrestle him. Yeah, they try to sub him, they try to like, and I'm like, no, dude, just get out get out of his realm.

SPEAKER_05 34:52

Yeah, it's the Deshaun Strickland is purely offense when it comes to hands and purely defense when it comes to wrestling, dude. Like he is a great grappler, but like he loves to throw, but he's black, dog. He just wants to get in there and scrap. He has the funniest stance, too.

SPEAKER_06 35:06

Yeah, he looks very awkward.

SPEAKER_05 35:07

He's like he looks he's got like a south park stance, like just stiff knees.

SPEAKER_04 35:11

Yeah, he stands like a str like a tree. Yeah. He's up there like a tree and just uh he's got the he's got the strickland shell.

SPEAKER_05 35:17

I can't believe he beat Hamza, bro. Who's he who's next?

SPEAKER_04 35:20

He invented the Philly shell. Yeah, that's canon.

SPEAKER_05 35:23

Running the back with DDP would be cool. He's gonna run about with DDP, dude. He has to, right?

SPEAKER_04 35:27

Is he the top contender?

SPEAKER_05 35:28

Third time to charm.

SPEAKER_04 35:29

Yeah, that that that uh he said he uh it's another Dagastani guy who's like the top contender right now. Something Imamov.

SPEAKER_05 35:39

That's him right there. Naserdine? Nasardine Imam Imamov Imavov. Let's see uh flick of this guy. Um dude, I thought Hamzat was gonna bury this guy. I'm happy he didn't, dude. Yes. I am happy he didn't. I talked about Hamzat a lot, I like him a lot. But dude, Strickland was talking so much shit too, talking about how he was gonna kill these goat fuckers and all that. Dude, what is dude? You laugh so hard when after the fight and he goes, you know, I'm just out here trying to sell fights for you motherfuckers. You went to the wheel.

SPEAKER_06 36:06

No, yeah, he didn't say motherfuckers, he just said trying to sell fights for you fuckers. That shit was funny as hell. Dude, he made the APAC joke afterwards, got cut off on Paramount.

SPEAKER_04 36:18

Can you pull up his mix uh his uh mixed martial arts record on his Wikipedia page? Because I want to see who he's been team for. Go to his Wikipedia. That works, it works, my bad. Damn, he he TKO'd is he? I don't even remember that. I don't remember that either. He lost to Sean Strickland already. Oh shoot. Oh, interesting. By decision. So they went the distance.

SPEAKER_06 36:41

Did this guy once have staff pretty bad? Anybody. They all do. I feel like I've seen a picture of this guy with staff.

SPEAKER_04 36:47

We look up his name and staff. Have you seen how it's fucking sweaty? Those gyms like the even disgusting dude. Even uh uh Khib's gym, dude. It's just disgusting, dude. It looks like a water park.

SPEAKER_05 36:57

Yeah, slip and slide. It looks like Schlitterbahn, dude. Oh, I went to Schlitterbahn.

SPEAKER_04 37:01

Schlitterbahn for the first time. It's just a bunch of dagastanics. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 37:05

I went to Schlitterbahn for the first time. That's what it is. They're grappling in it too, bro. There's a guy I do not want to fuck with.

SPEAKER_06 37:13

Yep, that's the guy. Honestly, okay, so I remember this. Yeah. I watched this at my grandparents' house. He did knock out Izzy. I remember this. I sat up very late.

SPEAKER_04 37:22

I got misdiagnosed with staff one time. They gave me these crazy antibiotics, and I just like I thought I shit out like my organs. I I I just never heard like whenever I whenever I looked at it later upon like like showing pictures to like my actual like primary care physician, they're like, that wasn't a staff. Damn, what the fuck was it, bro? That was like uh like honestly, you might have just had like a rash or something like that. Like that's gross, dude.

SPEAKER_05 37:50

Anyway, everybody fucking won big time on the on the UFC fights, dog.

SPEAKER_06 37:54

We did, we did pretty well.

SPEAKER_05 37:56

300 beans.

SPEAKER_06 37:58

300 motherfucking beans. 300 motherfuckers.

SPEAKER_04 38:00

One individual made 300 beans, people were saying. You can call him what he is, dude.

SPEAKER_05 38:06

What is he? 300 beans, bro. We had a noise complaint. Dante went out there and started shouting 300 beans. I thought we were gonna take it on. Oh yeah. We were bumping the music too loud, and the neighbor comes out there and he's like, I mean it's are you the ho?

SPEAKER_01 38:20

Bro, it was like 9 a.m., bro.

SPEAKER_05 38:22

No, it was cold. It was cold. Gage and cold. It was cold.

SPEAKER_00 38:26

I'm like, bro, it's 9 o'clock. Like, what are you talking about? It was 9 p.m.

SPEAKER_05 38:29

It was 9 p.m. Noise complaints don't kick until 11 or something.

SPEAKER_00 38:32

That's what I said. I was like, fuck that guy.

SPEAKER_05 38:34

Bro, take your ass inside, buddy.

SPEAKER_04 38:35

Maybe it's like quiet hours or whatever.

SPEAKER_05 38:37

That fucking sucks, dude.

SPEAKER_00 38:38

Yeah, it was 9 p.m. when it happened. Because I watched the whole thing go down. And then Gage came out and talked to him because y'all were staying there. I wasn't.

SPEAKER_05 38:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:46

And then he fucking wearing like a sweater vest and then like walked back to his Bro, you know his wife made him go outside, dog.

SPEAKER_06 38:54

Uh he was he was mad. The way he walked up was crazy. Me and uh Dallin watched it from afar. Really? He walked up and then he like went to go talk to somebody and then stopped and started walking back towards his house and started walking back to the house. Like he was like debating on whether or not he was outnumbered, bro. Yeah, he was talking himself in the mirror ahead of time.

SPEAKER_04 39:12

He was like, he was like, You're gonna go back.

SPEAKER_00 39:14

You got this. In his defense, we were kind of bumping all day long. Oh yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 39:18

Yeah, but then you can't say shit during the day.

SPEAKER_06 39:21

Also, uh, I saw that guy, he was to the left of us. He was waking in a no-wake zone. Heavy. Yeah, dude. You should have we had so many cameras that you bro.

SPEAKER_05 39:29

You should have caught that on video. Oh, yeah, mister, this is too loud. Let's see what the cops have to think about this. Speaking of cops, Huey. Huey. Huey with the Dewey. Okay, yeah, D Hue. The Huey. D Hue Eye. Okay. What's explain this to me? I still haven't heard your perspective on this.

SPEAKER_04 39:48

Alright, so we're we're leaving, we're leaving Friday night. And uh it's late, you know. We've been drinking and stuff, but I took an Adderall. I felt good. I felt like I was only like two beers deep, honestly. I felt good. And uh I forget, you know, Dubronville's like they have Dubronville's New York is known for having some of the most like sheriffs per capita or whatever. They've they have a sheriff, they have I imagine like working in a company where like you have like like one manager. You have like one manager per employee. Like that's not imagine their fucking department is like you just have a sheriff over every cop and um we drive past and uh I noticed like alright, like speed trap or whatever. Were you by yourself? Yeah, I was by myself. Oh I had a giant uh plate of wedding cake. I had like three slices of wedding cake. You offered them something on the in the passenger seat. I took I took one of the plates from the house. Yeah. And uh there was like three sli just one mega slice of cake. And uh which it would have looked worse if like the the icing was just getting all over the seat. But no, it was neatly on on a plate and uh just fork right on the top.

SPEAKER_05 41:05

Fucking eating and driving, dude. And uh I'm I'm driving I thought about it.

SPEAKER_04 41:09

I was like, I I can put this in my lap, I can pull this off. Um and uh I'm driving past and I see like one SUV, then two, then three, and then and then I looked down because I was looking at because we're I'm trying to get back to the Airbnb. I still don't know the area that well. And um I realized like I thought the speed limit was like 55 or f or 50 because I was going 55, then I realized it was like 45.

SPEAKER_05 41:35

So you're gonna turn over?

SPEAKER_04 41:36

Yeah, and I was like, ah fuck.

SPEAKER_05 41:37

And and you had no wallet, right? You left your wallet at the crib? Yeah, yeah. So I'd a pick. Drunk as fuck, no wallet. Okay, I was like they see the sports car and they're like that's a Camaro. This fucking so downtown? Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_04 41:51

Yeah, like this guy better off. I was like, well, they probably thought I was in the military. To be fair, it's like this guy, he fought, he's he's going to Iran for a Camaro. His wife's cheating on him. So like let me cut him a break. What'd they tell you? Uh so I got pulled over and uh he immediately noticed the wedding cake. He's like, it was that good, huh? I was like, he got like three fucking slices of it. Good cake, fat ass. I was like, brother, you would have taken more. You're like, do you want some? Did you offer him something?

SPEAKER_08 42:23

Yeah. He offered him some cake, dog. And uh fat fucking cotton. He was like, you need donuts?

SPEAKER_04 42:33

I start making the fucking like pig noises. Why don't you dive right in? You don't need silverware. And uh yeah, we're just like talking about every ass. Like, oh I'm wearing like a pick suit or whatever, and he's like, You come for an event, yeah, it's my buddy's wedding. And uh it was cool. Did he just let you off? Great day to look white.

SPEAKER_05 42:55

Yeah. That was it? He just let you off? Yeah. Dude, everyone made it seem like that.

SPEAKER_06 43:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:03

I mean, you use defense though. When I left, there was like a cop every 200 fucking yards.

SPEAKER_04 43:08

It was funny because the the other person that we were sharing the that KC and I were sharing the Airbnb with, Dallin, as I'm getting pulled over, I get a phone call. He was like, hey man, you gotta look out. Uh there's there's cop traps everywhere. I was like, I'm aware. I'm getting pulled over right now. He's like, oh. He's like, yeah, I'll talk to you a little bit. He's like, alright, talk to me a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 43:33

And uh well, happy you fucking got off, bro. That would have sucked.

SPEAKER_04 43:36

Yeah, he he actually he happened to call me like right as I was leaving. Threw you in the slam.

SPEAKER_06 43:41

Well, that's the thing. Uh we all thought Huey was going to jail. Dante took it upon himself to go to McDonald's for the group. He brought back three McDoubles, and then he saw Huey back at the house. He was like, Oh, dude, I would have got you one.

SPEAKER_02 43:54

I thought you were going to jail.

SPEAKER_06 43:56

He still like he passed out all the food and didn't give you each shit.

SPEAKER_02 44:01

I've got fries. He's like, sorry, dude, I thought we were like, I thought you were going to jail. And then he crosses.

SPEAKER_04 44:14

That'd be funny. Like, he puts like a ceremonial pink. As soon as he got a black guy says he got pulled over, fucking obituary. He's dead. He puts like a ceremonial like McDouble on my on my bottom bunk.

SPEAKER_02 44:30

White doves on Instagram story.

SPEAKER_05 44:32

Yeah, bro. Fucking what a hell of a night, bro. Anyway, yeah, Dante won 300 fucking bean beans. Bro, Donovan, please pull the video dog.

SPEAKER_02 44:41

300 motherfucking beans. With the camel crush about to go into the mouth. Yes. The camel crush locked and loaded.

SPEAKER_01 44:50

300 beans! That's 300 beans!

SPEAKER_05 44:52

That's 300 beans, baby! Let's go!

SPEAKER_02 44:55

Yes, dude.

SPEAKER_05 44:56

Dude, I'm so happy you guys cashed out.

SPEAKER_02 44:58

Dude.

SPEAKER_05 44:58

Did you bet too? I did. I did. Did you smash?

SPEAKER_04 45:01

I won.

SPEAKER_05 45:02

Fucking one. Yeah, Gage won 100 bucks. Dante won 300 beans.

SPEAKER_04 45:05

This goes back to our Poshmark like Deepop conversation about selling shit online. Anytime you make money other any other stream of income than your job, you're like, dude, I fucked this nine and five shit. Yeah, dude. I don't know how you guys do this shit. I'm about to start making like uh little like YouTube videos from my garage. I'm like, dude, you see my you see this shit right here? Dante sound nice.

SPEAKER_05 45:27

Dante thinking that you it was just a rap for you is so fucking funny. That's like such a Dante thing to think, too.

SPEAKER_02 45:32

Yeah, usually his friends are black.

SPEAKER_05 45:34

It's like such a Dante thing to think. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:36

Oh, he's gonna put up, bro. He's definitely gonna change it. He's gone, dude.

SPEAKER_05 45:39

That would get done. Is there gonna be anything else for you? Only three McDoubles? Yeah, my homie just went to jail.

SPEAKER_02 45:47

I guess I'm gonna spark one up for Huey when I get back.

SPEAKER_05 45:49

Everyone was telling me too, like how fucking just insane the cops were, too. I'm so happy I didn't have to drive. I was hammered. I haven't done it.

SPEAKER_00 45:58

I mean, I was locked fuck in, but I was like, Shannon.

SPEAKER_05 46:00

Shannon didn't drive? No. Shannon made you drive?

SPEAKER_00 46:03

Well, I drove. I was perfectly fine. I don't know what it was. I drank beer all day and I was like locked in.

SPEAKER_04 46:08

That's crazy. Well, no, because I took an Adderall and then I tried to I tried to sneak KC one. Dude, I got caught.

SPEAKER_06 46:14

I thought I was very well being very slick. I was sitting, well, I got I caught myself because uh you gave it to me. I put it in my shirt pocket. David was sitting there, I was having a good time with David, and I went like this. David, check it out. Get over my shirt pocket. And Kenzie was like, What's what is what's in your pocket? And I was like, nothing. She's like, get over here. Give it to me. And I give her half of a pink pill.

SPEAKER_05 46:35

You just broke it in half?

SPEAKER_06 46:36

No, Huey did. Oh. And uh she was like, What the fuck is this? It's like Adderall. And she was like, You pop pills?

SPEAKER_02 46:45

She's like, nah, regularly, no. Like this.

SPEAKER_04 46:49

It wouldn't have been funny if you immediately scarfed it down like a dog does give it to me.

SPEAKER_02 46:54

Feed me isopropyl. Immediately lock in. Oh, dude. So you didn't take the Addy, bro? I did not take the Addy. Kinsey probably took it for all I know. Damn. She drove us home. She was sharp too.

SPEAKER_04 47:09

She told me she did. Did she really? No, and then she was like, I lied. I lied. I'm sorry. I dapped it up for that. I dapped her up for that too. I was like, I was like, you just took it from Casey and took it for yourself. I was like kind of bothered.

SPEAKER_06 47:23

But then she's like, I lied. I didn't take it. I was still. I do, I do wonder where that pill is. That pill is definitely still like in a pocket or a purse. I'm gonna find it and I'm gonna reclaim it for shit. What the fuck, dude? Like you pop the Addy? Dude, that would have saved my life.

SPEAKER_04 47:34

I was trying to literally, I would I didn't realize he was like, you know, coming out of it. I thought I was like, uh, you know, it's gonna be four more hours. Because I would have been high for like a total of eight hours.

SPEAKER_06 47:45

I didn't start drinking beer until after the dinner when the dance table opened.

SPEAKER_04 47:48

You were holding a beer the whole time. By the time you actually started drinking it, it was probably like room temp. Room temp beer. You were holding a beer, it was like a placeholder to look normal. Dude, you're the exact guy. I would like take a sip of it and be like, oh.

SPEAKER_05 48:00

Dude, you're the fucking Adderall assassin. Every single time I talk to you, you're just fucking talking about popping atties.

SPEAKER_06 48:05

I just I just find it. What are you studying for? It's a it's a Adderall is like a responsible man's coke. Adderall's and also a college coke. It's a sophisticated coke. Yeah, Adderall, honestly, dude, that might be the as far as the limitless pill, the Bradley Cooper movie, it's literally just Adderall. Yeah. Is that yeah? It just unlocks. It's just Adderall first.

SPEAKER_00 48:27

Dude, no, I would take a one day you you're backed up on editing, just pop an Adderall and you'll carnick out my.

SPEAKER_06 48:35

I remember in my schooling days, I didn't study for a math test and I took an Adderall, and I was the first one done with my test.

SPEAKER_08 48:43

You gotta the first 48.

SPEAKER_06 48:45

Dude, no, I literally I got like uh it was sub-40. It was sub 40. I got it back. It should have question marks on it. It was like I was literally like doing like formulas that did not exist, and I was like coming up with answers. You were making up new pages, they would just like put question marks on the page, my teacher, and I'd be like, oh fuck.

SPEAKER_05 49:04

It's so funny, like as a student, too, thinking like you could outsmart the math teacher, like show your work, like just write random numbers.

SPEAKER_06 49:10

Yeah, dude. No, I literally just got keeped on that role. I don't it I was doing math, it just hasn't come out yet. And uh response was like a 27 and question marks.

SPEAKER_04 49:23

I'm doing art on the page. His fucking test score is like a running back number.

SPEAKER_07 49:29

Evan Smith, let's go, dude. I love the cowboys. That's so fucking funny, dude.

SPEAKER_08 49:35

Yeah, he said, dude, Bob to Adderall. I was the first person telling my place.

SPEAKER_06 49:41

I know for a fact he fucking flunked that shit. Dude, yeah. I did not study it all. And my experience, I was not like, yeah, Adderall should up because I would get I get geeked on Adderall and played Rocket League for like eight hours straight. I was a beast. I was a beast, dude. I was just locked in, bro. Chat banned, didn't matter.

SPEAKER_04 50:03

There was ggs in it. Not only not only did you finish a test first, but you you like you smoked like three cigarettes during the test.

SPEAKER_06 50:11

Well, I just got fucking uh no, I forgot what the drink was called. Whatever. Yeah, I used to get geeked off Adderall at school. I remember one time in community college, I stepped away from the Adderall game for a while. I took one, it was like seven o'clock in the morning. I took a full 30, and I remember pulling over at the gas station by the school, and I went and sat in the stall, and fake took a shit to like chill out for a little bit. Missed the whole class. It's crazy. And then after that, I was like, what a this isn't even made for me. I finished the whole semester, but I would just hang out with my boy Wiza in the hallways. But I would uh drink memosas at school in a Yeti car.

SPEAKER_09 50:51

It's so fucking crazy.

SPEAKER_06 50:52

And like sometimes I would like drink on the way to school. I'll pull up in the parking lot, kind of tips in be like, what the fuck am I? I'm gonna go skate.

SPEAKER_02 50:59

I'm gonna go to school, dude. I was like 18, but I was 20, 21.

SPEAKER_05 51:04

Just leave the fucking blazer at the at the high school, just go skate on the school.

SPEAKER_02 51:08

I literally just go back to my grandma's house and lupe the teacher canceled class today.

SPEAKER_04 51:12

Yeah, you just put on fucking odd future, kill people, burn shit, fuck school.

SPEAKER_05 51:19

Gage was telling me, he's like, dude, at one point, uh Casey was like so fucked up in the back seat, and I don't think he knew I was watching him, and he was just looking out the window and he went.

SPEAKER_06 51:29

Like, what have two of them? I I pondered on that, and I know exactly. I remember that moment. And I remember exactly what I was thinking about. Uh Peyton's younger brother not only took one of what I took, he took two. Of what? The Willies. He took two of those big ass shots of Willie's, and I remember he took one with me, and then Mimol was like, I got one more, who wants it? And I was like, I was like, Blaine, do it. And he was like, No, and I was like, bro, fucking do it. And he did it. I was like feeling how I felt, and I looked out the window and I was like, Oh, dude, Blaine, he took twice what I did. You must be going crazy.

SPEAKER_02 52:04

And then I talked to uh, I think it was like Ty or somebody, was like, Yeah, dude, Blaine's fucking fucked up, dude. I was talking to him and he just like started laughing and kind of walked away.

SPEAKER_04 52:15

Nah, he was doing that shit. Yeah, it was just me and him. Whenever I walked into the house, was it you that talked to him? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whenever I got there, like I was just looking around. Like, I felt like I was like, really, remember that that show Run's house? Yeah, it was this big ass fucking house, yeah. And uh, and no one's there. And like, and then uh I run into blame. I'm like, all right, well, we chatted up with him because I don't know where where the fuck anyone is. And uh yeah, we were just talking about some goofy shit in the middle of it, you just bust out laughing. And I'm like, I'm sorry, man, I'm trying to keep it together.

SPEAKER_06 52:46

So fucking. Did it seem like he at least like I think he's young enough to like not have the anxiety part. I think he was just having a great time. Oh dude, he's double ass, bro. Yeah, I'm happy for him. So happy for that boy.

SPEAKER_05 52:55

Well, that's the it's so funny, though. You hit like a certain age and like your highs just become anxiety highs.

SPEAKER_06 53:00

Yeah, dude, it's literally just like scary. It's like, what this is what I'm doing with my life. Like I'm the best man at a wedding and I can't function. Like, I'm fucked up. I got I'm like eight beers deep and I'm fucking high now. I need to fucking crossfaded account right now.

SPEAKER_05 53:15

You said you you texted me too, and you said, dude, I don't know. Uh you said I'm high as fuck. I'm on the way back and I'm I can't stop laughing at everything they're saying. You said they were just talking shit about India. Yeah, he said fucking tears.

SPEAKER_08 53:27

I was like, and they stink.

SPEAKER_06 53:30

Yeah, once you hit that, I was like, all right, I'm in the I'm in the fucking right car. This is where I was supposed to be.

SPEAKER_05 53:35

We were looking at uh a bunch of the because we have like video recorders to everybody, and they were like, just take videos and shit, right? And uh there was like a y'all were going through the roundabout in in the middle of the city, and uh Gage was in the background talking about like, yeah, they went to India too, and I always heard nice things about India, and supposedly they said there's so much propaganda about it, it's just like a shithole. There's just like trash and shit everywhere, and then the video cut off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We watched all those videos earlier.

SPEAKER_06 53:59

Yeah, I gotta I was high as fuck so on my mind.

SPEAKER_02 54:02

I was like, I'm gonna get documentation of the documentation that's being documented. Like, this they're gonna love this. I was tweaking, bro. The videos I took, if y'all know I like my hands were shaking. David No, I literally got crossfaded and came face to face with the fucking dragon from Shrek. If Donkey's not here, who's gonna keep you tame?

SPEAKER_06 54:31

Dude, that is scary.

SPEAKER_02 54:33

Also, dude what the fuck's wrong with Alex Grandma's eyes? That shit is so fucking funny.

SPEAKER_07 54:38

That's like immediately I snapped out of it and I was like, Oh yeah, this is funny. Fuck, dude, that's so funny, bro.

SPEAKER_06 54:46

It was dude, that was a great time. That was a great time. Night one was questionable, but night two was undeniable. Dude, sitting outside after the fights, just like throwing jokes around and laughing.

SPEAKER_04 54:55

Oh, dude, that was.

SPEAKER_06 54:56

I remember uh we were laughing hard as fuck, and I remember uh Cortland told Kinzie, she was like, What the fuck are they laughing at? They're not even like what's funny. But uh Kinzie said something about like uh like you gotta understand or some shit like that. Dude, it was a funny shit. No, she was just fucking she was just being cool.

SPEAKER_05 55:15

You don't get it, bitch. You don't get it. Oh, dude. You wouldn't get it. Gage's wife was giving me so many compliments, dude. Giving you so many compliments?

SPEAKER_08 55:25

I got a verbal head from your wife. Oh, dude. He said, dude, yeah, I got a verbal head from your wife, dude.

SPEAKER_02 55:33

Yeah, she was like, You're so tan. Also, you look like Ryan Gossing sometimes. Like, you even sound like him too. And she was like, Don't let that go to your head. I mean, I go outside, I was like, dude, your wife gave me verbal head.

SPEAKER_04 55:45

It's like, I think technically, I don't know what the what the rules around this are, but I think we have to fight now.

SPEAKER_06 55:51

I thought about the next day, and I was like, ah, I can't believe I said that was rude. He thought it was late. I mean, he was laughing. I don't know if I know him well enough to say that kind of thing.

SPEAKER_01 56:00

Oh my gosh, bro. That was so fucking funny. I've heard about him. It'd be nice to get engaged, that's my wife.

SPEAKER_06 56:06

Throw me off the balcony.

SPEAKER_05 56:09

Oh shit, dude. I wish I could fucking relive the weekend, dude. Just the first two nights.

SPEAKER_06 56:14

I'd like to uh yeah, I'd like to. I remember Saturday morning we woke up, we were gonna float the river or whatever. Dante was like, Do you want to smoke? And I told him, like, I think I'm gonna like try to feel normal for a little bit.

SPEAKER_05 56:27

I'm gonna fall back, yeah. Yeah, bro. I told myself I was like, Yeah, I'm gonna have I'm gonna smoke a little bit. It's my wedding weekend, like I'll have some good times. And then uh, bro, we went to Guitar Center, bro, and we I don't smoke anymore. And after I took that Willie shit on the way there, it literally like it felt like I took a blunt like to the face, bro. And I was like, I'm not smoking the rest of the weekend, like I'm good now. Did we get the guitar center? And uh the guy like asked me two questions, and I was just staring at him and I couldn't answer, and I was like, What? And he goes, So did you talk to you put it on reservation? Like, is it on hold for you? And I like looked back at Gage and was like, dude, you gotta do some talking, bro. I'm so fucking fried. I was like fucking spazzing out, and then at one point, like I turned around for like comfort to see if they're still there, and they were just exploring Guitar Center, like, and I was like was pacing in circles, and the guy called my name like two or three times before I finally realized he was trying to talk to me, and I was like, I'm so sorry. Like, I probably seemed fucking crazy and sketchy as shit. I was just so baked off liquid. This guy an undercover cop at Guitar Center right now. Yeah, I just pulled up, I was like, I'm here to pick up a speaker, and they were like, What's the name? And I was like, What? I was like so fucked up. Oh my god. What do you want to know? I bro when the guy started I was like, Yeah, this is how it works. I I asked him like a hundred questions. I was like, Okay, I could connect to Bluetooth. He was like, Yeah, it's really easy. Okay, can I do it like hardwire? I mean you could, but you could do Bluetooth too. And blue, who connected it to Bluetooth? It's like really easy, right? He's like, Yeah, dude, it's really easy. I'm like, all right, I was just making sure. Do I need two of these? Should I get two of them, or is it just one kid who's like, bro, you just need one? And I was like, Are you sure? Should I ask somebody else too? Like, are they gonna say the same thing?

SPEAKER_07 58:00

I was just spazzing.

SPEAKER_04 58:02

I was fucking rattling off questions.

SPEAKER_07 58:04

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_04 58:05

You start asking them like non-guitar related questions, like, do you do you think uh marriage is a failed institution? Do you think are we gonna love each other? He's like, I I don't I don't know. It's done. On the way up, uh on the drive up to uh the wedding, I saw channel 5 news, Andrew Calligan. One of my favorite one of my favorite YouTube channels. Always just does like the most random stories. He's kind of like, you know, he kind of has like the centrist. Maybe maybe more like liberal leaning, but very funny guy. Like some the the details that he gets out of people on interviews, like you couldn't torture me to get the shit out of him. But he is like just a very like chill, open, and like a pretty funny fucking guy, like pretty funny, like deadpan guy. And uh and a good journalist, actually. But uh he had on the sex worker who was the getting money from Brian Gnome. Friend of the pod, Brian Gnome. That was amazing. Which getting everyone up ev getting everyone up to speed, this is your first time listening. Uh because you know, there's so many millions of listeners at this point. Uh Christy Gnome is a very conservative congresswoman. Yeah, she's a if you don't know her, she's a lady you heard about that fucking shot a dog. She didn't shoot a dog, not a fan of dogs. That sucks.

SPEAKER_06 59:35

Yeah. Not a fan of dogs.

SPEAKER_04 59:38

And uh, there's another fucking husband, I guess. Not not a documentary, but uh so like it was like an interview. Uh her husband who was uh it got leaked that he was wearing big old fake titties. Hell yeah. Big old milkers. Oh yeah. Big old fake milkers. Yeah, dude, he's fucking cock eyes. He had those those triple Gennady Golovkin titties. Triple G size titties. Uh which he they were balloons. Which was funny because whenever they interviewed the sex worker, she didn't know they were balloons. She thought they were dead ass? Yeah, she thought they were dead ass. Because she works with so many guys like this. Like this is like her talking to a guy with titties and like wearing panties and shit is like someone ordering a fucking Jan and tonic. Like this is just everyday. Which is funny that that something so wild could just be could become like like banal. Like just completely normal. Oh yeah, I drive to work, make some cocktails. Pour some beers, do some, you know, talk to some people. This is like her shit, you know? And uh this is her world. And and it was funny because the picture of the titties, the nipples way up there, and she just thought he got like Timu fake titties. Like she thought he got like a Timu breastplate.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:05

I'll say this. The only thing I see wrong with this is uh biblical sin. I think I'm gonna call gluttony here because I think his wife has a perfectly fine rack. I think his they're for her age, they seem perky still. They don't seem like they're sagging. Who knows what she has.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:22

So fuck with the duck face for support.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:24

And then also uh also Christy gnome cleavage. Maybe I don't know. I'm trying to see the appeal of big tits on a on a man. I don't get it.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:35

Well, no, so remember, if you remember, there was a there was a uh a vocab word that we is bimbofication.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:40

Bimbofication.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:41

Bimbofication. This is where the sex worker explains that there is Oh yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:47

A we're working with some action right here.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:50

There is a that might be the only time Christy Gnome cleavage has ever been searched on the internet ever, dude. I'll tell you what, Brian Gnome. Not in my household.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:58

Brian Gnome didn't look that shit up. Uh oh my god, Walt Goggins with the tits.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:04

Walt.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:05

Um Christy Gnome. Walt Throbbins. Uh Christy Gnome, come to my house. Shoot my dog. Fuck me.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:14

Just kidding. So what was this video that y'all was?

SPEAKER_04 1:02:17

What was the Okay, so so Andrew Caligan, Channel 5 News, he interviews the sex worker. It was uh it was he was paying $25 a minute. And you know, I I I went into that interview expecting her to be like a lot dumber, a lot less self-aware, I'll be honest. And she was actually like kind of a cool hang. Like very self-aware about the job. Like, yeah, like my family knows. Like, I'm actually not like stripping or anything. I'm just I'm just being like a a non-licensed therapist to these fucking weirdos. That's what you call it, dude. Uh I'm not and and she she just tells she found like a hyper niche of dudes who like want to be big titty sluts. That's that's by their words. That's really that's what Brian Gnome was going for? He's like, I want to be a slut, he's like, call me a slut, tell me to bend over and spank my ass. Tell me to spank myself.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:12

Like that's what Brian Gnome was on Omegle dude.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:15

Loki wants to suck dick. Brian Gnome got for the three-word response stating the claims were not all true.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:24

That's like whenever like somebody said, uh That's why you get your ugly stanky poe broke ass.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:33

Yeah, I did all that, but I didn't pay that bitch $25,000.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:38

He would he would put his uh he would put his like Lululemon leggings on. He wanted her to watch put it put the leggings on, which I feel like I mean Dude, he's just gay.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:49

Nah, I don't dude, he's definitely gay. No, dude, he just said he's still wanted to suck dick a little bit.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:54

Kind of wants to suck dick a little bit. I think he would have done well. He'd be like going to like a trans club and fucking like a guy with a dick and tits or something. This could have been very low profile.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:06

You think they look at me like, look, this fucking poser?

SPEAKER_06 1:04:09

Yeah. This guy's this guy wearing khaki.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:11

This guy doesn't even skate.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:14

Oh damn, she was only 30 years old. 30-year-old sex worker, Raylon Riley. The most sex worker name of all time, Raylon Riley. Way past her prime. She claimed in an interview.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:26

Nice SB's dickhead. This guy doesn't even skate. This guy wearing thrasher. Yeah, nice balloons, tool. Dude, fuck Brian though him, Doug. Uh and somebody has to. There was a there was it was funny, like uh, there was like a uh a segment where they like highlighted all the anti-gay laws that Christy Dome has passed. And uh it's like it's like her number one op is it is under her roof. Like she had to have known.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:56

Bro, 100% she knows, dude.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:58

Also, like if you don't fold the fucking laundry, I'm gonna pass the goddamn law.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:03

And if you're a politician, bro, you're like that's nine to five shit. You're definitely home at night. Does he have like another bedroom where he's doing this shit?

SPEAKER_04 1:05:09

It's definitely a throwing stones inside a glass houses situation. Yeah, it's it's a they kind of highlighted it like it's funny every time, but it's such a played out throw like trope of just the guy, the the couple, the organization that just like hates whether it's like gay people or whatever it is, and they're doing the exact shit every time. The pastor who's like I like sending people to pray the gay away camps, yeah, dude. And he just gluck glucking away.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:39

Where did you get that shit about how he like he wants to suck dick?

SPEAKER_04 1:05:42

Oh, they they put that out. Yeah, she's like she's like, I don't wanna this is gonna be really controversial because I don't want to out someone who doesn't want to be outed, so we might take this out later. And he's like, Yeah, you're like, You were saying he wants to suck dick. Dude, I'll give you it. Only forty-five minutes of it is actually worth listening to because a lot of it just gets into like her life as this kind of sex worker situation.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:14

Oh, dude, this is the fucking guy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:17

It's like a it's like a joke thing.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:19

No, he like serious.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:22

Ever since he got accused of like sexual assault, really? I thought he was like a j I thought he was like a joke interviewer kind of guy. Started out kind of that way, but he's taking it more serious now. He's like a legit journalist. Yeah, him and Clav had an interaction together where um Yeah, did he kind of school Clav? I think I think Clav kind of schooled him a little bit.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:39

Bro, you're a fuck dude. Casey's a cloud, dude. What are the what is this fan base called? Uh the Moggers. Maugers? Are you a Mogger?

SPEAKER_04 1:06:50

He's like, every so I No the interview goes back and forth.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:54

I mean, it's kind of a funny thing where basically Clav called the mugly and he was like, I don't think I'm ugly, I think I look fine. Clav's like, I think you should work on yourself. Dude, Clav's, bro, you should fist fight Clav. I would never. Why would I don't fucking why would I mess up such a beautiful face?

SPEAKER_03 1:07:10

Why would I mess up such a beautiful work of art? Oh my goodness, bro. Not even think I'm fist by Clavs. The Andrew Calaghan.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:16

It was funny how it ended because uh he's like, you never asked me a single question about um looks maxing. He's like, we've been talking about looks maxing this whole fucking time. What do you think?

SPEAKER_05 1:07:26

I did I have seen that clip. That's why I thought he was a joke interviewer.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:29

And uh and he's like, so like how would you go about looks maxing? And he's like, he's like, I I I probably wouldn't. He's like, really? Like Clav's like, really, there's not a single thing about you that you want to change. Like you're you wake up every morning and you're totally content with yourself. He's like, yeah, I'd say so. Which honestly, I kind of believe him. Like, he just seems like he's very comfortable with himself.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:49

Like, I mean, if I was in a room with Clav, I'd probably have to play that shit off too. Yeah, dude. You gotta boss up.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:56

Yeah, you gotta boss up for sure. In front of the man? In front of the Mogmaster, dude? The Mogma. Yeah, Mog Max Freiko.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:03

Is he going to prison or no?

SPEAKER_06 1:08:04

No, he's not gonna prison.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:06

He owns a nightclub. He owns a nightclub now.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:08

Yeah, and he's only 20 years old.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:10

That is crazy, bro.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:10

Well, hey, look what's look at.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:12

I think he might actually be 40.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:13

What's his net worth? He's a vampire. What's Clav's net worth? I see you. He is the first club that's like streaming friendly, apparently. Everyone's gonna be. I'm live.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:25

Bro, are you fucking kidding me? 3k 300k? 300k? Oh, I'm clavicular.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:32

Reportedly averaging between 100,000 and 150,000 per month. What the fuck is this? So give him a couple months, dude. Let the boy boss up. Come on. Stop giving clav a hard time. His bread's up high. You're a clav rider, dog. Dude, yeah, I'm a clav rider. I'm a muger. Poggers. Brandon Eric Peters.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:51

I thought the clut the claviculites. Claviculites? Clavicular.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:57

Dude, I'll say The Claviculans. Clavicular stuff. I mean, I don't think he's like the coolest guy ever.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:03

But I like that he doesn't like people try to make fun of him and he kind of just turns it around on them. It's like, alright, well, you're fucking ugly. That is pretty tough. Pretty tough, dude. It is pretty tough. Like, what do you what do you have to say now? Yeah, it goes back to grade school. Like the Dougly kid's not cooler than the more handsome kid.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:18

No, dude never.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:19

So that's the only card he's pulling, and it works every single time. Dude, try the builder. Fuck yeah, bro. Dude, yeah, he shot that guy. Did he kill that guy?

SPEAKER_00 1:09:28

I don't know if he killed him. I know they both went to the hospital with like serious injuries. I think he's too much. Somehow he got shot in the arm.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:34

I think he shot himself. Like he grazed himself.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:36

Yeah, Chubb got shot in the arm.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:37

He got shot first? What hold on? I don't know. Hold on. Hold the phone. You don't know who Chud is, bro? Who the fuck is Chubb the Builder? Gosh, dude.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:44

He's a guy that live streams and he goes around like downtown Nashville and calls black people the hard R, and they try to fight him. And then he'll be like, dude, stop chimping out. Stop chimping out. Stop chimping. And then basically, like some security guards from some local bar will come and break it up and he'll be like, Yeah, that guy's a pussy. Chud the Builder might be the first fucking gay right-winger. Yeah. Well, Nick Fuentes.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:03

Yeah, Chud the Builder is what Nick Fuentes thinks he is.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:05

No, no, well, like Milo Yanopoulos was like the first. Yeah. He had to walk so that Nick Fuentes could fly. Soar. Yeah. Soar right into the closet.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:15

Flying with the fucking unicorns, dude.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:17

Soar into the closet. Oh no, it was in Tennessee where he was.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:20

Tennessee, yeah. He's a Nashville pup.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:22

He's uh not a cool guy.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:24

Well, dude, if you look back at uh if you look at back at uh Chud the Builder's history, if you go back on his old social media and stuff, he's kind of like cross-dressing. Look up Chud the Builder cross-dress.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:33

Alt-right guys, like they're all like appeal to an audience. Big closeted yeah. How do you always know the inside scoop about all these fucking influencers, also?

SPEAKER_06 1:10:43

Uh what do you do?

SPEAKER_05 1:10:44

I thought you were like working in some.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:46

Just look up gay. Don't do cross-dress. Look up gay.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:49

Shud the builder gay. Shud the builder gay.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:53

And then hit images. Is there nothing really? I'm gonna okay. I'm gonna have to show you guys this off camera then. Holy shit! Is that Alex Grandma? Hey, what's that movie? What's that action movie called? Turned gay right there. What's that? I've seen this one. Hank Wilder. Is that say construction worker turned gay? Look at those veins, dude. What a fucking guy. What does that say? Magically turned gay? Can you give me three copies of that, please? Magically turned gay construction curse. Happens to the best of us, brother.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:28

Go to reviews. Go to reviews.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:31

Yeah, dude, great idea. It's only 33 pages. There's only one review. They're all stuck together. It's a four-star. Was it there's your comments? There'll be two comments by the time I leave.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:44

Gay. Yeah, gay stuff. Yeah, gay shit. Anyway, yeah, Chud the Builder's not a fucking cool guy. Magically turned gay.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:51

Yeah, magical. It's uh there's a construction wizard. Chud the builder not on Amazon. Can't be irrelevant. Give me a test here. Look up clavicular on Amazon. Let's see who. Well, I want to see who's the most relevant.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:07

If he has like an ebook out.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:08

Yeah, I bet there's like a shirt that just says like clavicular or like looks maxing or something. Donald's gonna have a fucking stroke trying to do it. It's very hard to spell. Alright, workout equipment. There it is. Clavicular getting frame aug t-shirt. Click it. Frame mog t-shirt. What's let's see who it is. Oh, is that ASU Frat Leader? It is. That is ASU Frat Leader, yeah. Look at the shoulders on the ASU Frat Leader, Mog's clav at ASU Gym. Saw the TikTok, saw it all.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:36

Alright, anyway. I'm done with this clav shit, bro. I'm done with giving this guy.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:41

It's a song. It's a song. Three minutes and 23 seconds. Play it.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:46

No, it's gonna be embarrassing for me. Don't play it. I made that. No, let's actually cut that whole fucking sentence. If you guys want this podcast to be anything, we cannot mention that. Because I can't log back in, I can't delete it. If you guys go to the club, I'm fucking dragging you guys. I'll never fucking speak to me, dude. Alright, alright. My biggest fear is that like the podcast blows up and I get too busy and I have to like quit. You guys are like, alright, fuck them. I'm gonna put some shit up. I've had nightmares like that.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:19

I'm just kidding. My first time Z and Brian gnome was him as big, like you know, Big Titty Brian. Same, yeah. And then I've seen pictures of him like with his wife, and he looks like a fucking SEC head coach. He does, yeah. He's like a Lane Definition. He looks like a fucking well he looks a little wild.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:35

He's giving the coach head. Yeah, dude. Bimbofacation.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:41

Every picture of him, he looks like a fucking offensive coordinator. He does. For like Alabama. He really does look like Lane Lane Kiffin.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:51

Lane Kiffin. Don't give me stuff.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:53

I can't put I can't figure out the name of the actor I'm thinking of, but in that video of him doing the duck face, he looks like um the actor that always plays the dad and like the parent swap was the parent swap dad. Robert uh Dennis Quaid? Dennis Quaid, but he looks like Dennis Quaid. He does look like Dennis Quaid.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:06

He looks like Dennis Quaid. Holy shit. Great pool. He does look like Dennis Quaid. He looks like Dennis Quaid, bro. It does. He does. Fucking Dennis Queer, dude. It's funny. He didn't kill anyone. The one part about um he was kind of a dickhead. Like he was like very pushy. He'd be like, alright, hey, let's um or he'd do a thing where like uh she would be like live streaming and uh and he'd be trying to get like a free session out of her, and she was like, Yeah, motherfuckers will do this, where they're like like he'd be like, hey, I'm wearing my leggings. Like he'd be in the chat and be like, I'm telling you, the guy is just gay. He'd be like, he'd be like, alright, well then let's book a session and be like, I'm out.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:47

Fuck, dude. I'm out of minutes. That's what he meant by about. He's like, my loans, my loans got cut. Also, like Chrissy's being a bitch right now. How long have they been married, bro? They definitely have a shared bank account. She didn't say, Hey, what is this fucking $1,200 uh uh account that you just paid for? 40 minutes? That's so much fucking money. $25 a fucking minute. They're probably you know balling hard. Yeah, bro, but you definitely come on. Oh, those uh DoorDash. $25 a minute. You don't care how rich you are. Elon's going broke in a couple days. I went to Nova. $33 years? Sheesh! How fucking old are they?

SPEAKER_02 1:15:22

Your age, Huey. You're married in 92. That motherfucker older than the moon plus the sun.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:30

That was good. That motherfucker older than the motherfucking moon plus the handshakes, hugs.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:35

You wanna you want to catch me outside? You want to catch me with these pancakes and big old titties?

SPEAKER_06 1:15:41

Pancakes and thugs. Pop trunk on your sister.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:45

Maybe we should come up with a new intro. Do you think we get uh Riffraff to just freestyle for us? What are the odds that he's on no? You don't think so? Very low. I don't think he would respond to that. He's a Houston guy.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:55

Riffraff is uh he's a Miami guy.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:58

No, he's from Houston, I think. He's from Houston, but he fucking Houston heavy. He's he's a Miami guy. But like he makes sense.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:05

I feel like Riff Raff is one of the celebrities you think you could get a hold of, but he's way more famous than you think.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:10

You think it's all a bit?

SPEAKER_06 1:16:12

Riffraff can't go in public.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:13

You think it's all a bit, or is he actually retarded?

SPEAKER_06 1:16:16

I don't want to be mean to the guy.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:17

He's retarded in the same way that Theo Vaughn's retarded. Yeah. Yeah. I'm telling you, bro, watch that.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:22

He started acting retarded and he realized people laughed at him being retarded and he stuck with it.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:26

Watch the podcast of him and Theo Vaughn, and you will see they are the same, they're two sides of the same coin. Didn't you say like he never even laughed either in this podcast? You're just like, hmm.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:35

Yeah, no, like he he responds because they speak the exact same way. He responds to a joke from Theo Vaughn the same way that a rapper responds to a tough bar. He does this every time. He'll hear it throughout the podcast, and it'll crack you up every time he goes, like he acknowledges it, but he's like, I won't give it a laugh. I'll just that is funny as fuck, though.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:04

Yeah, I don't know if I could be able to watch the biggest. That was a bar. That was tough. That was nice what you did there.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:09

I don't know the kind of thing.

SPEAKER_06 1:17:13

Do you remember when Riffraff wanted to do the makers of that movie Spring Breakers? Because uh James Franco's character was literally Riff Raffles Rafa. Everything. Everything.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:23

I don't think he got away with it too, because it sucks because like you can't prove, but like everyone knew, bro, you're being Riff Rav. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:30

Yeah. We had the braids and everything.

SPEAKER_06 1:17:31

You know, that's I think Dave Franco or uh James Franco gets like a really bad rap. Like he's kind of like banned from everything. Yeah. Oh, the people he fucked up. He's pretty fucked up shit though. He hosted an acting class.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:44

Yeah. He went super artsy and like, oh, I'm getting my doctorate at Harvard, but like he paid his way, and everybody started hating on him after that. Dude, James Franco had a lot of things.

SPEAKER_06 1:17:54

He had an acting class where he would fuck his students. That's what yeah, that's what I'm saying. But all of his students were of age. Yeah, and they were fucking bad. And they claimed rape, but also at the time DiCaprio does.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:06

But he just doesn't have any Oscars. That's really he he he didn't have a chance. He did a Leo DiCaprio, but instead of it becoming a meme, you got people mad. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:18:14

Would you rather get groomed by Leo or James Franco? Franco. No, Leo all day.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:19

Okay, Franco is probably so much more fun. Franco would be a good time. Yeah, Franco probably fuck you in and be like, let's go walk downtown and get Peace Bear, bro. Let's go get magic tattoos.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:30

You know, actually, my I an ex, an ex of mine shared such a detailed story of one of her friends who supposedly fucked Leonardo DiCaprio that I wondered if it was her. No, she didn't. It was one of her friends, and but the the the story was so fucking bizarre that I'm like, I kind of believe it was crazy. Where it was like, dude, he was wearing AirPods the whole time and he was like on LSD.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:54

That's what I've heard is he'll fuck ladies and wear sunglasses and be on like hallucinogens and like kind of have like a different train of ladies coming in like every few minutes. Yeah. And uh fucking life, dude.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:06

I'm like, I'm like, that sounds too like that sounds like you'd be real. Like that sounds like some shit he would do.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:12

That's too Oscar's worthy, right there.

SPEAKER_06 1:19:15

I think I'd rather date a girl that fucked James Franco than date a girl that fucked Leo. I don't know, bro. James Franco's a nasty guy, though. Yeah, he's nasty, but like he's good looking though. Yeah, he's good looking. Uh but also like James Franco, that's like a oh like you're fun. Like you fuck James Franco, you must be fun. You fuck Leo, it's like, alright, you like sat in line and waited to get fucked by a movie. He's a male Bonnie Blue. James Franco probably well, he met girls at his act. He sat in the queue, he sat in the lobby, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:43

Yeah, did you pull your number? Pull the number and wait.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:46

I don't know, dude. I'm uh I think I'm gonna take the bus on this one. I don't think I'm fucking either of these guys, if I'm being honest with you.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:51

I'd rather be asking my brothers with with with uh with James Franco, probably. Same. It's a coolest dad you have after.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:57

Let's go ask my wife and your fiance after this. Nah. No.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:01

No, I don't feel like talking to her.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:02

Let's bring him in here. Let's get them on camera actually. I want to see what they have to say about this. There's not many male celebrities I think my wife would bend it over for, but I don't think James Franco comes to mind.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:10

No, because James Franco James Franco's not like if you met James Franco at a bar and didn't you didn't know who he was, it's not like your top guy. This is gay as hell. No, because he's gay as well. What the fuck are we doing? He's not like a guy who's like, oh, I want to fuck him, but like you get to know him, and it's like, oh, this guy's cool, he's kind of funny. He's kind of handsome.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:28

Dude, that's this is like Andy Bernard mindset.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:32

He's a gay way to Dave, where you just because Dave's probably a good hand. Okay, now Dave, the Dave Franco's a good hand, dude. Dave Franco's a good hander.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:39

James Franco's way more handsome than fucking Dave. James Franco? Now you're talking about who you want to fuck.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:47

I thought we were just talking about who we want to be Eskimo bros with.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:50

Oh, I thought we were talking about who would rather fuck. No. I mean, well, cats out of the bag.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:57

I feel like James Franco would be the cooler Eskimo bro.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:01

I think James Franco would be the cooler both. Do you feel like James Franco would come with like a like a good story? Leo would just be like, yeah, I waited in line.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:09

Dude, Mike Wiley's typing out a comment right now. James Frankel definitely would have been better fucked.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:14

Dude, the question, the question is, out of the three of us, who's Mike Wiley gonna prefer to fuck? Mike Wiley, leave it. Bro, you for sure, dude. I hope so. Hopefully you can hear this. Mike Wiley wants you to put more dents in his head. I want Mike Wiley to put dents in my head. Mike Wiley. Anyways, enough. Enough with the gay shit, dude. Let's talk about clouds some more. I'm drinking all these. It's because I'm drinking uh fucking European beers. Yeah, gay, dude.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:44

Start talking with the lisps pretty soon.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:46

I need to drink some Miller Lights so I can be a band when I get home.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:48

Yeah, bro. That mustache is starting to curl on me. Do you want a Miller light?

SPEAKER_04 1:21:52

Yeah, Miller's Miller's? I've I've been asking if you want a Miller this whole time. I'm sorry. Now there's only one left.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:57

I was thinking about James. And it's spoken. I'm thinking about Jimmy, dude. Dude, I'm over these European beers. What do you got for me? You hit me with anything out of the fridge except a vootie. If I drink a voodoo, it'll fucking go nuts. Glock Vootie.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:10

Lock Vootie. Hey, hey, hey! Did you see me like fucking punch my thumb through the shotgun thing? One time. Twice. You couldn't repeat it. I'll do it again right now. My thumb's re it's it's not sore anymore. It's not sore anymore. I hit the joystick when I got home a week ago, dude.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:25

Like, I I only have two per night.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:26

I can only nah that was sick, bro. Tell me that wasn't a good party trick, bro. That was that was cool. Your dad was. And I did do it two times.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:33

I couldn't do it a third time, though, bro. You're like, your your dad was like, that's only that's a trick that only a single mom could teach.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:40

You don't learn that with a two-pound kid on their hip on the other hand.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:44

You don't learn that from a two-parent household. Nah, fuck no.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:47

But I couldn't get Carson to drink a fucking beer with me. It's hard. I tried. Yeah, what the fuck is up with these? Isn't that so gay?

SPEAKER_04 1:22:53

What the fuck is up with the youth, dude? I tried like 12 times to get him.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:58

Yeah, even Dustin was like, no, he won't do it, bro. I try to I try to get him drunk all the time, he won't do it. Do you guys have any mocktails? I'll take a virgin pina colada actually. Extra whipped cream for me. No, he's like picky about shit. Like he doesn't like the way things taste and everything. I'm like, oh buddy, I got something for you.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:15

Yeah, wait till you try pussy. It's like an acquired taste. Tastes like nickels. It's like licking a battery.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:22

Yeah. I'm just glad we lose an SCP, but it's been a robot.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:26

Bro, we fucked up.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:27

We ran out of it.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:28

How about that? The two things that we're discussing growing up, beer and pussy is like my favorite thing in the world. That's the best. Don't forget about the asshole, though. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:40

Hotbox muncher, bro.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:41

Hotbox.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:43

I don't like remember. I bet you don't. Like, when did you have your first beer?

SPEAKER_06 1:23:48

My first beer? I remember my first beer specifically. I got handed a St. Arnold's lawnmower. And my friend's dad, you know, your first beer? Yeah. And he said, this is gonna put hair in your chest. And I drank a bunch of beers. I was like 13. And we were doing pull-ups at the neighbor's house. I threw up, and then we watched The Lone Survivor. Who's that? Mark Wahlberg? This was uh I'll tell you after. I don't know. I'm not very good friends with him anymore. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:13

Because we started on craft beers. Yeah, really. Yeah, I did.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:15

And I'll watch up with it? I did. I threw up, I got drunk, watched Lone Survivor, just straight up like Patriot drunk off the rip. Just like just drunk and watching a Mark Wahlberg. I'll sign up tonight. I'll sign up. When I woke up and my friend was like, dude, you threw up in my bed. I was like, my bad, dude, I gotta go home.

SPEAKER_05 1:24:35

That was it. Um, we are at like 20 something seconds, so you guys weren't have any.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:40

I remember one time I got really drunk at Alex's house when his parents were out of town, and I fell asleep in the bed, and they pulled down my pants and showed my tiny penis to uh a couple of girls that were there. Uh thank you for that. I'll never forget it. I'm sure they won't either.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:54

You and Louis C. K. brothers in arms.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:57

Yeah, yeah. Mine was involuntary. CK, Louis C. K.

SPEAKER_04 1:25:01

K C is K. Yeah, reverse.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:08

See you next week.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:08

Hey yo, hey yo! Give it closer, Kenzie.