RoomTempBeers
NSFW comedy podcast about nothing and everything!
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RoomTempBeers
Bad Algorithms - RTB Ep. 19
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No script. Just beers and convos. You know the routine. Enjoy the episode! See you next Monday for another one!
Welcome back. Hello. Howdy. Hey. Howdy. Hey. Episode 19, Room Tent Beers. Yes, you can. Sit back. Make sure your phone's not fucking recording. We're gonna say some fucking elaborate shit. Yeah. Or record it. I don't care. What's up, guys? Jack off. Howdy. Cheers, boys. Huey's. Oh, cheers, guys. Cheers. Oh, yeah. Cheers. We're fucking back, boys. Cheers, Don. Cut corner. Cheers. Don. Cheers. Tap up. Oh, that's a big vootie. By the time this comes out, uh, Don most likely will be a father.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_06And if not this episode for sure, the next. So that's exciting. How do you feel, Don?
SPEAKER_01Nervous.
SPEAKER_06Yeah?
SPEAKER_01Okay, I feel like I haven't done anything yet.
SPEAKER_06Like a typical black dad.
SPEAKER_01There's nothing to do. Until you feel like you're supposed to be doing everything, but there's nothing to do. I feel like I haven't done a single thing. I bet I spent three hours putting a changing table dresser together today. That's the most I've done.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, you'll change most of your diapers like on the couch or in the backseat of a car. Yeah, that's just going to be a paperweight.
SPEAKER_01We didn't buy it, so it was on the registry.
SPEAKER_06There you go. Dude, how did the registry go? Did you get like all the shit you wanted? Mostly everything. Yeah. That's good. We were talking about this for like the wedding stuff. Supposedly it's like a thing where like people don't follow the registry and they're just like, eh, I'm just gonna wing it and get whatever I want to get them. That's the worst. Did anyone do that?
SPEAKER_01No, nobody did that. We told them specifically. I was like, if you do it, I'm gonna throw it away.
SPEAKER_04Hope you kept the receipt, buddy. I also hate when people give me gifts.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, you don't like when people get you gifts at all? Nope. That's I don't like that either. I'm not a big gift receiver guy. I like giving gifts. Giving gifts is fun. I don't like receiving gifts. Making eye contact while someone and saying thank you is like one of the most awkward gifts ever. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I don't like either side of gifting.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, when someone gives me a gift, I feel like they're tugging on my leash. I don't know like how that's well, what do you think? It's awesome. Like I'm working for a treat, like a dog. Yeah, yeah, I don't like that shit.
SPEAKER_05I would I would rather it be something that's like either won't take up a lot of space. Like a gift card is actually not a bad gift. No, gift card is good. It is money and it implies like, oh, I know you, I know you places you go. Yeah, I get what you want. Chances are like they know they like they got you a gift card that's at least relevant to something you like. Yeah, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_04I think a gift card is actually really thoughtful because like instead of getting cash, like if I get cash for like my birthday or something, it's probably gonna go towards like the bills or like going out to eat or something like that. But a gift card, like I have to spend that all myself. Like, I can't bullshit around.
SPEAKER_06This stage now, and this is only as of recently, is like people have been giving us gifts and they're like this is for y'all, it's because we just got married. I hate that. For y'all, yeah, because I'm like, fuck, dude. Yeah, but not for me. Yeah, for y'all. Yeah, and I was like, damn, if that means this is going to savings. I was like, that's where this is going.
SPEAKER_02No thanks.
SPEAKER_06It's like what can be oh, I wanted a new $200 comforter.
SPEAKER_05Well, it's like some cheap like Amazon shit. Like, oh, like you now you have four waffle makers.
SPEAKER_06Dude, I would kill somebody for a fucking waffle maker right now.
SPEAKER_05Have four of them, one in the shape of Texas. You would not you would use it once.
SPEAKER_06Really? You only use them one time, you think so? No protein waffles in your house? I've never I've never had owned a waffle maker.
SPEAKER_01No, I got a nice one. I'll get you the one that we have. It's nice.
SPEAKER_05It's nice. I remember Gage got like three, though. Like one, it was something wild, and they're like, dude, I don't we don't even know what to do with all this shit. I don't even need one. No. How often do you have waffles? It's such a novelty that you could just I have I have waffles all the time. I go to Waffle House.
SPEAKER_04We have Mickey Mouse shaped waffles frequently.
SPEAKER_05Alright, you have a child though. Actually, that's a fun thing. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, so I guess. Donovan's gonna be cranking out waffles pretty soon. Blue waffles.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, dude.
SPEAKER_06Donovan, go ahead and pull up blue waffles from me real quick.
SPEAKER_05Don, if hypothetically, if your girl or her water breaks while we're recording.
SPEAKER_01I'm gone.
SPEAKER_06You're staying.
SPEAKER_01You're staying. You're already here. You're staying.
SPEAKER_06You're already here, bro. Well, do me a favor and turn your phone off. It's already on just in case. Sorry I had bad reception. Yeah. Oops. Oops. It's episode 19, dude.
SPEAKER_05I'm going, I'm going into a uh tunnel. There's a tunnel. They're building a new tunnel and I'm going down the Manhattan tunnel and I lost you. I'm sorry. Yeah, sorry.
SPEAKER_01It's been such a like chill pregnancy that like it's gonna go full term, so we're doing an induction. So I know what that means. Like a Hall of Fame title. Basically, eviction notice.
SPEAKER_04It's an eviction notice, like get them out. Really? Yeah. That's what we did too. We got induced. So she got induced. I fucking I just drove in there. Yeah. I just drunk as fuck and drove into the hospital.
SPEAKER_06Dude, watching a pregnancy is so much better when you're eight beers deep. Yeah. That's the only reason I cried. Made me sick to my tummy. She was telling me she was like, I'm nervous. You're like, you're nervous? I can't tell what plane we're in right now. You're like, I'm not. Yeah. That is sick, bro. I was um, I don't know how I would. I know you're nervous. I know you're nervous as well. I don't know what to think. Are you gonna be scared to hold them? No. Like on some moofos or shit?
SPEAKER_01I've held babies. My cousins had like a litter of children. I've had two younger siblings, so I've held babies. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06See, I didn't really hold babies much growing up. I know Huey has a lot of experience, but I didn't hold like a lot of babies growing up. But I remember like one of the first times like I was like holding a child was with with Gray, with Gage's kid. Yeah. And like I was like kind of scared, but like I'm not scared when they're a baby and I can sit with them. But as soon as he turned like one and a half, and like they started. Well, he started he like fucking played tight end with me in the pool with Grey. And he was like a year and a half, and he was like, they're throwing the baby back and forth, like having me catch him, just slick ass, slippery ass baby, baby skin in the pool. Dude, I dropped him twice in the water. He's like grabbing him by the eye. Dude, yeah, Greg got it on camera and he was like, Yeah, you were a blocking tight end, dude. He was like, You're not a fucking receiving tight end. I dropped the baby twice in the water. Gage was like, What the fuck, dude? Catch my kid. Like, just throw him at me. Scary as shit, dude. What's up with dads just fucking throwing their kids around?
SPEAKER_05Dude, what's up? Like the the first hey, Gray's like the first baby I ever held. Really? Yeah. And uh Gage like hands them to me. And uh like it's already like we've already the exchange has already been made. He was like, You guys have never held a child before. And he's like, What? I feel like I imagine like every like shitty thing he's seen me do uh-huh in like all the years we've known each other.
SPEAKER_06He's like, Yeah, and you have this bloodline in your hands.
SPEAKER_05I'll probably be fine.
SPEAKER_06You're like, do I shake it? What do I do? Shake it. I uh running back shit. Yeah, Tiki Barber. Tiki Barber shit. He's all he knows the oldest of balls, bro. We're gonna get him on uh football this season. Dude, we are gonna get you on football. Every night we're gonna get a lot of things. My fucking football knowledge matchups ever.
SPEAKER_05Uh uh, yeah. I was fucking extracted from like 2002.
SPEAKER_06If we pulled up Madden covers, could you tell me who the player was on each Madden cover? Absolutely. You think so? Absolutely. Jonathan, let's start with 2000. Madden 2000. I'll give him the.
SPEAKER_05That's Eddie George, dude. That's already no. That's Eddie George. There he goes. Nice. What about 2007? 2007, that's Michael Vick. You were right. Yeah, it is Michael Vick. Oh. 2001 then. 2001. John Okay, what the fuck is John Madden on the cover? Madden? 2001, who's that? That's that's Eddie George. Okay, I see I got the mix up. That's Eddie George, dude. Yeah. Alright, two for two. 2007 is Michael Vick.
SPEAKER_02Oh, brother. This guy stinks! 2007 is the same.
SPEAKER_06Eddie George, okay. Oh two. No, no, not the play. Alright, well, you didn't, you wouldn't have got that one. Alright, go 2004. Oh.
SPEAKER_05Oh, four was Mike Vick?
SPEAKER_04What the fuck? I remember that being 2007. Is it 2007? Oh yeah, he saw Michael.
SPEAKER_05He was in jail already. Maybe? Oh, that's uh Sean Alexander. Okay, I'm tripping.
SPEAKER_06Damn, bro. This Huey dude, Huey. This motherfucker older than the moon plus the motherfuckers. Vince Young. Vince Young. Vince Young.
SPEAKER_05That was the one where Devin Hester was 100 speed. His first ever player was 100 speed. That was his sophomore year. Who's this one? Of course.
SPEAKER_04Alright, now do Madden uh 26. Dick Pick Farf. Big Dick. Dick Big Far. And don't search it yet. Don't search it yet. Seeing that.
SPEAKER_05Actually.
SPEAKER_06You saw his dick?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, his dick was like all over the internet.
SPEAKER_06I never seen this. Go go up. Was it nice? Left? No. It was just like it was mid. It was just made. It was a penis. Alright. It was just you. It wasn't even a dick, dude. It was a penis. Well. That's Saquon Barkley. Alright, I got a good pull from. You mean Madden 10. 2010. Oh, that's two people. Yeah, that's Troy Palomau and uh Larry Fitzgerald. Okay, bro. Human those ball, bro. That's a good one, though. Human those ball. Madden 10 was where my love of Madden like really took up.
SPEAKER_04That was one of my like uh That was my first actual like Madden where I played it religiously.
SPEAKER_06Bro, yeah, Madden 10, bro. I used to play that shit nonstop.
SPEAKER_05Madden 10? Because you had the sequence, like whenever the first time you uh you start the game, you like you play as them? Yeah. And what is it?
SPEAKER_06Uh Who's this one? Oh, it's Calvin Johnson. Yeah, the Gap too. Alright, bro, we're good. Huey knows ball. We're good. Yeah, he's gonna do he's gonna do good this season in football.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, we just gotta loop him in on the players. That's it.
SPEAKER_06It is gonna be very exciting, bro. Are you gonna are you a gambling man, Huey? Besides like the casino? I have enough vices.
SPEAKER_05You've seen how reckless I fucking get within the city. Huey's gonna be off the adder while I was watching football this year, dude. Good. I need to see it. I don't need to be just betting everything. Like we're gonna have to bet everything.
SPEAKER_06I'll do a five dollar parlay. Turn five into three hundred. The craziest parlay. Alright, let's do a little side bet. Who's hitting the first fucking huge parlay this year? Me. Ant. Ant without a doubt.
SPEAKER_04I thought we were talking about in this room. Ant's a fucking degenerate Indian gambler.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, yeah. Casey asked me, he goes, is Ant uh Indian? I was like, no, Ant's Mexican and shit. And he goes, he needs to put a little bit more effort into that. I couldn't tell him.
SPEAKER_01He does have a little Saudi to him. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Since I've met him, I just kind of wrote him off as an Indian. I've never once got Mexican from him.
SPEAKER_05Give him a silver brace.
SPEAKER_04The Kush.
SPEAKER_05We'll stop there. We'll stop there. I went to go play with him. What happened? Hugo, if you're listening. I've never I've never seen him eat beef. I'll say that much.
SPEAKER_06Everyone's. Beef? He's a little weirdo when it comes to food. He doesn't like eggs. He uses a runny egg and he says he wants it to go up. That's very that's very Hindu of him, you know, because there's a lot of vegetarians. Anthony, I owe him $100 plus interest. Don't let him find this shit out, dude. He definitely knows about it. He's got tabs.
SPEAKER_04He's just like, uh Gage's uh Gray's birthday party. We talked about it. I told him I'm not getting it to you.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I told him I'm not giving that to you. He's gonna start working out. He's gonna be a bill collector. That's fine. That's fine. We were looking something up. Were we? I don't think so. Oh um, I was gonna say I want to go play singo bingo a couple two nights ago, last night? Singo? What's singo bingo? So it's like bingo, and like they'll play like 30 seconds of a song. Oh and if you have that song, like you're getting up on that shit. Well, it's I mean, you don't get it's fun it dude, it was so fun. Honestly, you guys should come with this one night. It was so fun.
SPEAKER_04When are they doing it next?
SPEAKER_06Uh supposedly they do it like five times a week. Well, um, yes, single bingo. Oh, yeah. Is it like but the thing is that like you uh they give you like they tell you what the song is. It's like they're calling out like B17, like they'll tell you what the song is. You just get to listen to music and play bingo. Yeah, but like uh European motherfucker? It's BYLB. It's BYB, dude.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, bro. It's a problem. It's a real fucking problem, dude.
SPEAKER_05Is it a theme situation with singo bingo?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, so like you'll go in there and they'll have like uh they'll have like two to three rounds, and it's like the first one's like you have to, it's like it's like they have like a playlist of all the music for whatever genre they're playing. They'll have like divorce dad rock genre, or they'll have like country songs, or they'll have like pop music, like pop club hits or whatever. And they'll play 30 seconds of a song, and however many songs are like in the play, is there's probably like a hundred something songs or whatever. They'll play 30 seconds of it, and every card's like randomized, you don't know what song you have, and you have to and they just shuffle the playlist, so they don't know who the winner is gonna be. And um, it's like you get like the first round's like if you get a line. So like one line is bingo, and it's like if you win the first round, you win like a hundred bucks. And if you win the second round, it's like two lines, so two straight lines. If you win the second round, it's like 150 to 200. And then the third round is like you have to fill up the whole thing, like your entire page of it, and it's like if you win that, bro, like people were winning like $800 if they like filled up the whole thing, like $700, $800.
SPEAKER_04I don't know. I'm not very keen on like bingo lingo, but is the full page? Is that called blackout?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, pretty much, yeah, yeah. Like to blackout the whole thing of like if you get all the all the songs that they play. So uh it was sick, bro. It was so fun. Like, it was more fun than I thought it was gonna be. And I was like, and it was kind of popping, but it was nothing but old people. And they have like themes and shit where like this one was like you dress up like a pimp and a hoe, and they have like side contests for like the outfit theme. The best pimp and hoe. Yeah, it's like if you dress up like the best hoe, you like win money or something like that. Like they didn't make it funny. Yeah, yeah, and Ant and Reagan go like multiple times a month. Like they go non-stop and they always fun. Dude, it was so fun.
SPEAKER_04I couldn't go because if I won with him there, I'd have to give him a hundred dollars.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, he'd be like, you just won 700 bucks. Would you give I'll be honest with you that if you won the 700 bucks, would you give him his hundred bucks? Nah, I'd give him like 50. I'd give him that. I'd give him the 100. Payment plan, payment plan, dog. Yeah, he's never gonna forget that. If you accept the firm, I don't forget it either. If you die before uh Ant and he's gonna show up at your firm, like Cheryl Cheryl Underwood said, check that motherfucker's pockets. You owe me $100. Is it the letter scrum video or sweatshirt?
SPEAKER_02You ought to my money.
SPEAKER_05$14.95 if I'm counting interest. Give me my money. I want my money. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Dude, Dark Shark. The good that was uh that was Jasper's dad.
SPEAKER_06Dad, yeah, he was on Jack Az, right? Yes. He was like the one to do everything. Yeah. That shit's so funny. Oh man, Jack Az is about to be back with another one, too. We talked about this already. That's just gonna suck.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah, it's gonna be a compilation of a couple new things and a bunch of old clips. Yeah. Hopefully the old stuff is like maybe like some like uncut or like maybe unreleased like archived stuff. Are you actually? No.
SPEAKER_01They've also already done that though. With the three point five.
SPEAKER_04So is there anything left? Maybe they'll show like a uh maybe like 911 phone call of like Bam's wife calling the cops on him or something like that. Not sure. Classic.
SPEAKER_01Is Bam gonna be in it? No. No. Oh, I thought he was. No, he's beefing with him hard, so he's like, I don't want nothing. He's in it, but it's the old clips. Because I saw somebody talk about it, Steve O or somebody talking about it. They're like, Bam's in it, he had to sign and all that for it, but it's just the old clips that they're showing. They're like, it's not new, it's old nostalgia clips, like from the show, from the movies, everything like that. It's nothing. We're not getting we're getting like a couple new skits, but all they were gonna make him do is fucking fight his dad or something.
SPEAKER_04I think I said this last time, but I think they would make so much more money if they just did like a three or four hour marathon of all the movies back to back to back, five minute intermission to go get beer, come back. Like that that'd be a hit. Yeah, that'd be the best.
SPEAKER_01I remember watching the TV show growing up.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, dude. Do you get beer at the movie theaters?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_06Of course, Casey does, dude. I think. Well, Hughie does too. I think it's too. What do you think? Fucking Coke? Yeah, I'm a Mr. Pip kind of guy. Well, fuck yeah, dude. Yeah, Mr. Pip throw a little jack in there.
SPEAKER_04What do y'all do? Go to the loud as fuck. Every movie theater has beer. Cinemark has a draft beer.
SPEAKER_01Cinemark has voodoo on fucking tap.
SPEAKER_04Oh, that wouldn't remember the movie. Dude, the Regal Cinema? They've got like all kinds of IPAs, light beers, cocktails. That's why you go to the movies. Fuck the bar. I get two hours. I go to the movies to watch the movie and I fucking strap in.
SPEAKER_06I'm gonna drink beers at the movies. Damn, dude. Why have I never done that? I haven't lived yet.
SPEAKER_01They literally have like a jack and coke, like icy cinema.
SPEAKER_06Dude, it's fucking strong task.
SPEAKER_01Not at all.
SPEAKER_06It's not strong.
SPEAKER_04Or at Star Center McGrill, they have that as well.
SPEAKER_06Bring your own, bring a couple shooters. Are you going to a fucking drive-in? Like where that's the way to be like I'm being honest with you, I've never heard somebody open a beer in the movie theater. No, they don't you don't crack open the crap.
SPEAKER_04They crack it for you? No, it's all draft. There's cans, but like they do crack the cans, they crack it for you.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. If you get a beer at the movies, you're gonna draft non-stop.
SPEAKER_04I went to uh I saw Dune 2 with my stepdad at uh Star Cinema, and we were getting beer by the pitcher. Yeah. Like to our seats, they would bring us pitchers of beer. It was just all wrong.
SPEAKER_05This movie's making me thirsty.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, dude, there's no watching Dune 2 and getting fucked up at the theater. That's a long movie, too. Exactly.
SPEAKER_06He pissed a couple times. I did not. I held it. That's crazy, bro. I can't, I I can't go 30-minute sequences in here without having to piss. You pissed at the movies? No, no.
SPEAKER_04I'm talking about when I'm drinking beer, dude, that shit just flows through me. I'm so scared, like watching a movie I've never seen before that I'm gonna miss like the moment in the movie.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, dude, there's a call like pee time. Really? Yeah, and it's like if you like tell it what movie you're watching, and it's like, hey, when it says this, there's like a five-minute gap where it's like not that important. You can go piss right here.
SPEAKER_04The last movie I pissed during was F1, the Brad Pitt Formula One racing movie. And that I was like, What if we gotta do the 500 laps?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, he's pissed the whole time. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Is that movie good too? That movie was sick. That one best score. Or no, no, best uh not best score, but like best audio or some shit. Yeah. At the uh Oscars. Uh you took a break from pissing to go watch the movie real quick and then go back. I haven't seen that one. Yeah, that's the only thing me and my stepdad do one-on-one is go to the movies and drink beer. Best sound. Best sound, yeah. Oscar for best sound on the 98th Academy.
SPEAKER_01Best sound, best picture, best film editing, and best movie. This is a cool movie.
SPEAKER_04Like for just like a dude movie to like honestly like watch on your captain. Brad Pitts the man. Brad Pitt is the man, he's certainly the man in the movie. And then uh it's Idris Elba's son is the guy who plays alongside him.
SPEAKER_05It's all the upcoming actors, all the all the main actors are just gonna be Nepo babies. Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_05I mean maybe they kind of already were, but like it seemed a little bit like you know, at least like they were the actor, and maybe their sons were like, or maybe their parents were like producers. Or they were involved in film and Hollywood, but they weren't directly like an actor, but now you have like the leading man. Oh, my son is also gonna be the leading man. Both movies.
SPEAKER_04What's cool about being a Neppo baby of an actor is that your agent is whoever your parents' agent was. Yeah. And so you get top line agent, you're not paying for it.
SPEAKER_05So they take a cut of your stuff. Or actually, I Philip Seymour Hoffman's kid is actually pretty good. Yeah. Um pretty good.
SPEAKER_06Doesn't she look like just like Huma Thurman too? What is she in? She's in Stranger Things, right? Yeah.
SPEAKER_05She was a lesbian. My Hawk, yeah. My Hawk, yeah. My Hawk is good.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I remember that one. Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_05Ethan Hawk had a kid. That seems like because they were both big as fuck in the 90s.
SPEAKER_04Especially Ethan Hawk.
SPEAKER_06I'm not good with like the keeping up with the names. I'm good with the faces, bro, but I can't put a I'm not good with the names, dude. This is like this game called like the Kevin. I'm sure you've played it. Kevin Bacon game. Oh, we've played it, I think. Yeah. I fucking suck at it. I don't remember anybody's name.
SPEAKER_04That's where you have to like That was a COVID lockdown.
SPEAKER_06That was a COVID lockdown game.
SPEAKER_05That's what that is. You played that one, right? Or like it's called the Kevin Bacon game because like he's been in so many diverse roles for so long and so active that like every you can trace a movie back to him, but like it's really with any actor. You'd be like, Yeah. Well, yeah, you don't have to do Kevin Bacon.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we I I have to play that one a lot, but I fucking I don't I I suck with names because I can't remember anybody's name.
SPEAKER_05It's a great group game because so many people have seen like different movies. Like we've probably seen more similar movies, but like once you like mix like a girl in there or something like that, then you're like, alright, what did she do?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, the girl actresses get me, dude. I'm not watching any. I know like Sandra Bullock.
SPEAKER_05They go quicker though, because the life the like the the life cycle of a leading female actress to just be like like literally like the piece of ass in a movie is like five years. Emma Stone's been doing it for ten. But but it's changed, it's changed up though, because like she she did comedy and then she's not really playing like hot roles anymore.
SPEAKER_04Um psycho roles.
SPEAKER_05Whereas like, but you can be like the leading man, like Brad Pitt's like he could still kind of be the same guy, he's just the older version of it.
SPEAKER_06Brad Pitt does play the same character in every movie. Every movie. But like he's handsome enough that you don't really re realize it. You know, yeah.
SPEAKER_05As long as the male actor like stays like in shape and handsome like that, then he can stay getting the same roles for a long time.
SPEAKER_06Like you guys were talking about who you'd rather fuck between James Franco and Leo, didn't I know how Brad Pitt didn't come up. You don't get you don't get more handsome than Brad Pitt, bro.
SPEAKER_05Well, it's like have you seen pictures of young Benicio del Toro? They look like their brothers.
SPEAKER_06He looks like fucking his Hispanic Yeah, they look like their brothers.
SPEAKER_05But then, like, but Benicho just kind of just, you know, like I'm telling you, brother's drinking small. They age like milk, dude. I'm telling you, he's probably enjoying life, drinking small beers. He's still a really good actor. I would say, I would argue he might be actually the better actor.
SPEAKER_06I would say he's probably a I don't know, dude. Brad Pitt's a pretty good actor. He just plays the similar roles.
SPEAKER_04Nowadays he does. Yeah, he was pretty diverse back in the day.
SPEAKER_06Pull up a picture of Benito del Toro next to Brad Pitt. Just look at Benichio del Toro, Brad Pitt. Like that's been compared a thousand times. I mean, the one on the right in black and white looks exactly like Brad Pitt. It literally, but he looks just like him. They look like they could they're brothers. Look at that. Look at him.
SPEAKER_05It's funny that Brad Pitt actually was in a movie called The Mexican.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that's on my watches. I've been seeing clips of that. I really want to watch it. What's it about? About some like white dude who gets like trapped in some scheme in Mexico where he owes people some stuff. From what I gather. Kind of, yeah.
SPEAKER_06He's pounded down such a fucking good show, dude.
SPEAKER_01I put that shit on just to rewatch the other day. So fucking dude. I was watching like I was like on episode three and Shan's like, yeah, I'm gonna go lay down. What? Yeah. She's like, uh uh. She doesn't like uh she loves Righteous Gemstones.
SPEAKER_06But she doesn't like Danny or what?
SPEAKER_01No, she loves Danny. But like, because of Righteous Gemstones, she loves Righteous Gemstones. But I put on uh Eastbound and Down, and I don't know what it was, if it was Stevie or what that threw her off.
SPEAKER_06Stevie gets a like less retarded as it goes on.
SPEAKER_05Stevie annoyed the fuck out of me at the very beginning there, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Bro, Stevie's the funniest fucking character ever. Yeah. Yo, I mean, I don't even know what to say. Stevie's the fucking funniest character. Stevie and the later, the later the show goes on, or the longer the show goes on, Stevie kind of steals the show.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, bro. He's so fucking I but uh as much as I like East Bound and Down, though, I think Vice Principles might be funnier.
SPEAKER_05Vice Principle is Bro Vice Principles.
SPEAKER_06Him and Walton Goggins. That's such a comedic duo. That's such a comedic duo.
SPEAKER_04It's not better than Kenny Powers.
SPEAKER_06I mean, it's not better than Kenny Powers, but like the comedic duo itself is they're just every scene is funny with them. It is. But it just it doesn't touch East Bowen and Down.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it doesn't. It was good because. Well no one cares about your movie opinion. Yeah, fucking in well I do now. I still have to rewatch it.
SPEAKER_06Oh yeah, Don said he liked uh Project Hell Mary. He liked Project Hell Mary enough to where he's gonna rewatch Interstellar. I don't know why that's what it took, but I'll rewatch it. He needs to re-watch There will be Blood. Give me the cum Lord! Give me the cum Lord! Give me the cum and I'll get out of here, Lord. Dude, there will be blood is such a fucking good movie. That's a five-star movie.
SPEAKER_01I got plenty of movies to rewatch.
SPEAKER_06Just make Shannon watch the baby and go lock yourself in the room. Leave your phone off. Watch the fucking movie, dude.
SPEAKER_04Dude, that baby's gonna sleep so much. Y'all can pretty much do whatever the fuck y'all want for. Is it really that nice? When did they become a problem? Six months.
SPEAKER_01I got time.
SPEAKER_04Six months when they start like crawling around and stuff, then you have to like he's having a play.
SPEAKER_06They're gonna be probably crazy by four months.
SPEAKER_04Maybe.
SPEAKER_06Maybe.
SPEAKER_05There's gonna be so much Well, there's gonna be so much WrestleMania played in that fucking house. I can't wait.
SPEAKER_01Me and my little brother used to watch WWE when we were younger. And now it's like grown men watching you WE, and I'm like, eh, you can't get him behind it.
SPEAKER_06I've said it once before, dude. If you're a grown man watching WWE, like it's only a matter of time. It's only a matter of time.
SPEAKER_01But I said if my son wants to go watch WrestleMania, we're going to WrestleMania. I was like, it's gonna be so much because I've been to Monster Gems, I've been to all that shit. But WrestleMania, I think it would be fucking because me and my brothers used to play the video games, we used to do everything. WWE, and then now that we're older we're like that shit was kinda weird.
SPEAKER_05That shit was gay, dude. Yeah, either either you stop watching, you continue watching, and you have like a long rap sheet of felonies, or you're in Griselda and your name is West Side Gun, Conway, or Benny the Butcher. That's the only that's that is the the life cycle of being a WWE fan. It is like a cool black guy thing to like reference wrestlers. Yeah, obscure wrestlers. That's a that's a very like that's an autistic black guy thing. Like uh very autistic black guy thing. Autistic black guy who but that's the thing though, they don't call it that. I feel like uh like you just be like, yeah, that's that's my homie. He just uh he counts numbers really fast. You don't like they don't call him autistic, you know what I mean? Like he's a little off. That's my yeah, he's a little off. He knows every single wrestler ever. They can't afford to get diagnosed. Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna put labels on him. He just uh every single shoe he's ever worn has to match his outfits, and that's all.
SPEAKER_06I mean, dude, I might be an autistic black guy then.
SPEAKER_05He's never creased a single sneaker in his life, but that's every black guy.
SPEAKER_06That's Darnell, though. Love him. Hey, third time on stage, dude. When's the special coming out? Not anytime soon, dude.
SPEAKER_05Are you getting better? I performed in front of like ten people last night. Was it better? Yeah. I felt comfortable. I was I was so they did a thing where like you draw, they would give you prompts. Yeah. You could choose to do it or not. I was like, you know what, fuck it, I'm gonna do it from the beginning. I didn't like what the prompt was, so I just made some shit up. I was like seduce blank. I was like seduce an audience member into giving you their social security number. And like I heard like some like other people in the back, they're like, ah, because they could clearly tell that was not one of the things they wrote down. And uh I was like, I saw like a there were like a few girls next to each other, a few other people, and I just chose like the biggest black guy. I'm like, you sir, you're my pretty little lady tonight. And he thought the shit was funny. And he was like, you know, we're gonna come back to you. What we're gonna decide as a group if I seduced you into getting your social. And then I did like my jokes or whatever, and then social. I was out of there in like three minutes. He's like, yeah, he's like, you aren't it, you aren't it, brother.
SPEAKER_04He probably would have gave you a social if his mom ever gave it to him. That bitch.
SPEAKER_06So I um I went over to uh we talked about the casino a minute ago because I asked if you were a gambler man. And um I'm a man of God. I'm a man of God too, dude. But I'll fucking blow my money to the government's casino, dude. I'll do it. But uh I went over to uh to my pop's house uh a couple nights ago, and he has like his own craps table, which further proves the point that he just is the fucking man.
SPEAKER_04Kind of the man. He's kind of just the fucking man. Kind of the man. I can't give him the stamp yet.
SPEAKER_06He has like his own craps table, and um I've always wanted to learn how to play craps because I always like see people like having like just the fucking best time ever at the casino, just like throwing the dice and just everyone's cheering and hooting and hollering and shit. And I never understand. I'm like a I'm like a hands-on learner, I'm not like a visual learner. So like I've watched like 20 videos on craps on YouTube, and I'm just like, I just don't get it. There's so many different rules, so I had to like learn hands-on, and finally I I finally figured it out, like for the most part, like I understand like the gist of it, like I feel like I could play now. Dude, I went on the hottest run whenever I was over there. Like, he like should there's like there's like a tactic to like throw the dice. There's like different tactics on how you want to throw it and like release and shit. I didn't know this. I thought people just went up there and chunked them, and like, yeah, I got it down, bro. I threw that bitch probably like 25-30 times. I was just on like the hottest roll, couldn't hit a seven. I was making like so much fucking fake virtual money, but like ever since then, dude, I've been like just itching to go to the casino and be like, dude, I'm gonna I'm gonna on some Chris Tucker shit in rush hour. I'm just gonna fuck up the crap stable. I wanna go so bad. Have you played craps?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I told you.
SPEAKER_04Lost all my money. The Nugget has been sending me uh comp two nights stay every month.
SPEAKER_06Can we please take advantage of that, dog? We'll share one day.
SPEAKER_04So I'm waiting on I'm waiting on the June one to come in, and once it does, um that's I know you're not doing shit for Father's Day. Uh that's what uh you you need, yeah. Dude. Oh crap. Oh are we gonna finally do a casino uh podcast while we're there? Yeah. If it were more established now, that we could yeah, I'd love to like finally put on the bathrobe and just like sit in the cook table. Three bathrobes. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Just on the in the fucking yeah. Did they let us do it at the roulette table? No. Bathrobes? In bathrobes? They'll definitely let you gamble in bathrooms. I don't know if that's what we're doing.
SPEAKER_04We should do it at like uh what the sportsbook restaurant.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That'd be sick. I doubt they'd allow it. They wouldn't fucking allow shit. They don't have I don't think they'll allow cameras anywhere near. I try to record like my first ever bet in a casino to see if I hit on roulette and they're like fucking jump my ass. They're like, no phones, no phones. Was that on a table or virtual? It's on a table. Okay, okay, yeah. But I see videos like on YouTube all the time of like people gambling. Is that what it is? Yeah, but everybody knows what they look like.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, but they know that it's content and it's kind of like promoting the casino. They're doing it like professionally.
SPEAKER_06They don't know that shit, dude. If I could count cards, bro, and have the Ray-Bans glasses, I'd be so fucking rich.
SPEAKER_00I want Ray Bans.
SPEAKER_06You know, you learn how to regular count. They're expensive as fuck. I can even count on my fingers, dog. It's 20. It's 20 all day. But I do want to go play craps now. I want to go do like the crapless craps, like the little machine one. Because I didn't even understand the machines. You know, like the one with like the little dice or the thing, you just bubble the button. Yeah, the little bubble ones. Did y'all play those? No. No, no, I don't I don't play craps. Do you know how? Nope. Buddy, I'll teach you. I'm the fucking I'm a pro now then.
SPEAKER_04From what I've heard, uh my coworker plays craps and he says he enjoys playing it, but there's no money at it at the casino.
SPEAKER_06What do you mean there's no money at it? That's where everybody has the best time winning money. People put in the city.
SPEAKER_05If you are winning, it probably is the most fun game. You can lose money fast for sure.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, you lose money fast, but it's not like 20 to 1 odds, like a roulette table or anything like that. The advice I got baccarat, where all the Asians hang out, that's that's the best idea. I want to I want to post a game.
SPEAKER_05I want an Asian squat on a fucking stool. Yes. I want to have a cig in that. Literally just chase. You would never see me talking without a sig in at the back a rat table and just Asian squat. Just post up.
SPEAKER_06You want to put back a rat too?
SPEAKER_05No. I'm saying, but I want to learn. I want to learn for that. I'd be willing to learn that. I want to China magazine. I want a China magazine.
SPEAKER_04That's it?
SPEAKER_01That's it.
SPEAKER_04Oh, it's another complicated game. At all. So the dealer and the person rolls. You bet on the player, does everybody take a turn rolling or what?
SPEAKER_01No, like you just bet on the player or dealer. They basically do it like blackjack.
SPEAKER_04Is the player me?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So you do the player, you bet on the player, or you bet on the dealer. And whoever's closer to nine wins.
SPEAKER_04So I can roll but be betting on the dealer.
SPEAKER_01No, it's just cards. It's like blackjack. It's like you literally like they throw decks of cards away because you could tear the cards in Baccarat. It's weird. It's a weird thing. I can tear up a casino card about it. You could tear up a casino card, yeah. Oh, dog.
SPEAKER_08Yeah, I'm there.
SPEAKER_06Well, what about the virtual? Is it the same thing? It's the same thing. Bro, dude, I was at the casino one time. I saw this Asian dude just, I'm talking about honky, like Donkey Kong smashing the fuck out the machine, just hitting the fuck out the button. Just bam, bam, bam. Playing baccarat, dude.
SPEAKER_04I don't know if he was winning or losing. It takes a lot for an Asian to like crash out in public.
SPEAKER_06Nah, bro. You go to any gas station and you'll fucking see him crash out. I've seen so many Asians crash out of the gas station. I've never seen an Asian crash. The gas station right next to my uh my work over here. That was a Mexican you thought was Filipinos. No, dude, that guy is so uh it's it's like a have you heard like the they're all Asian. I think I'm pretty sure it's like a family. They like take turns like running the shifts there. Either that or they just look like family. But like they'll fucking they'll pull up and she has like the same cadence. She's like, hi, hi no. And she says the same thing every single time. She's like, okay, you'll give me enough high dollar 20 please. Just like serious on here. Yes. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bro, if a group of young leagues like running there while they're working, they fucking pocket watch them as they're like circling the thing, and they get so mad, they'll be like, What are you doing behind you? What are you doing behind you? I've heard them, bro.
SPEAKER_03I've heard them spaz out on people.
SPEAKER_04That's amazing.
SPEAKER_06It's so fucking funny. That is fun. If I had Ray Bans like that's like the video ray bands, I would go in there with those because I 100% would get a clip for it. I've seen them spaz out like a three, three or four times at least. Beautiful. And I know that's not the only Asian ran gas station where they get pissed off at the clientele. No. 100%. They're just I don't know. And they do have like the little slot machines in the back. You know how down bad in life you have to be to be gambling on the gas station slot machine?
SPEAKER_04So, from what I've heard about the gas station slot machines, is that you can't win anything on it unless you're a regular and you know, like they know that you're not gonna tell on them. They'll start paying you out of the registration.
SPEAKER_06They're in every gas station now. How many times?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, you can go play them, but you have to go there regularly and like show them that you're not like a cop or some shit, because you're not supposed to be able to win off of them. I'm I'm messing up the whole game for them. Hold on.
SPEAKER_06Well, is it where you just get like in-store credit at the gas station?
SPEAKER_04I think until that you become like familiar with them, yeah. Really? Yeah, you're just winning gas money. That's actually not terrible.
SPEAKER_05That's actually five dollars into a full tank, dude. Yeah, they put the card in and you're going to Cold Stone Creamery.
SPEAKER_04I looked up uh I'm sure you guys have seen like different like poker houses in the area.
SPEAKER_06Like I don't understand those either, because there are local poker houses. I don't get that shit.
SPEAKER_04The house isn't allowed to profit from the game, so they charge you a membership fee and an hourly fee from being there. Well you blame is just against the players. So it's like if you went to your buddy's house and played poker in the garage, you're taking your buddies' money, so you're taking strangers' money, but to be there with all of those people, you pay a membership fee and an hourly fee while you're at the poker house. That's how it's legal. It's a loophole because they're not profiting off the game, they're profiting off of a membership.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, it's literally Dallas Buyers Club. You paid a membership and you got the AIDS medicine. This is fucking the Houston Gamblers Club. Yep. Yep. We're from starring Jerry Let Go of Your Money. It's fucking. Ha ha.
SPEAKER_06I'll play Bacchara. If the banker andor player hand has a total of eight or nine on the first two cards, no further cards are drawn. A player hand having zero to five must draw one card. A player hand with six or seven must stand.
SPEAKER_05Where's people?
SPEAKER_06I want to see people tearing up a card. Dude, this is the thing too. This is why I'm such a hands-on learner, because I just read that shit and I immediately forgot what the previous sentence said. Like as soon as I read it, I'm just like, yeah, I don't know. I've been zoned out. I'm such a hands-on learner. That's why I try to watch so many videos of craps, and I'm just like, what the fuck? Are they just they're just throwing dice? I don't understand it.
SPEAKER_04Games are easier to learn, like just playing them. What's the way you go?
SPEAKER_05If like like what like which which way of tearing the card and back a rat is like has the most aura.
SPEAKER_06Also, I don't know if Donovan's for real about that. I've never seen anybody tear up.
SPEAKER_05You just make it rain. You just make it rain. I'll just pocket it. If you're allowed to tear it in half, why can't you just pocket it? You just take like five minutes tearing them into tiny little pieces each time. Yeah. I would just start pocketing cards.
SPEAKER_06It looks like bending cards. You can bend them.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but like you bend the card to where like you can't use that shit again. I'm talking like people.
SPEAKER_05No, I've seen them do that. You said they're doing origami. That sounds racial, Donovan. So we were telling me they're making a paper crane out of the fucking card.
SPEAKER_06I don't know, dude. I'm like itching to go to the fucking casino now, dude. I'm itching every single day. I was talking to Ant about it too, and he's never been to Vegas, which is fucking crazy to me. I've never been to Vegas. Probably for good reason, honestly. That's what he said too.
SPEAKER_05He might he'll never come back.
SPEAKER_06Because he's like he was like, dude, I have no self-control. He's like, I know if I go to Vegas, I'll either like leave owning Vegas or like be one of those people who have to stay there forever because they lost everything. Like living under a bridge or something. Well, they do have a nice tunnel. They do have a nice tunnel, bro. You don't have to you don't have to weather the elements, you can just live in a cave. They have a tunnel that goes to LA. Yeah. It's like from Vegas to LA. I know nothing good happens under there.
SPEAKER_05Nah, that's because that's 250 miles.
SPEAKER_06I don't I swear they have one. I swear they're just like that. There's a 250 mile tunnel. I'm almost positive.
SPEAKER_05I think Elon has something to do with it. Oh, like the boring, the more but I feel like they they never finish that. Elon Musk never finishes anything.
SPEAKER_06He finishes fucking, dude. He's got like 15 kids, bro. That's true. He does finish that, dude. And but I'll tell you what, I bet they die. I bet the girls do not ever finish.
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_06Donovan look that up. Did I just make that up? I'm pretty sure there's a tunnel.
SPEAKER_04Go ahead and look up did Elon Musk ever make any of his partners come?
SPEAKER_05I calculated the exact amount of strokes needed to make you come.
SPEAKER_04Look up Elon Musk Girl come. There's no.
SPEAKER_06Alright, I just made all that up, I guess.
SPEAKER_04I trained from LA to Vegas. Yeah. Good luck, sir.
SPEAKER_06Damn, dude, did I just pull that out of my ass? It makes you think of- I could have sworn. Fucking is Joe Rogan lying about everything he says? No, I think I think you just made that. I didn't make that up, bro. I swear I heard that somewhere.
SPEAKER_05270-mile underground tunnel would be big fucking news.
SPEAKER_06I yeah, I feel like I would have.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, why? Hey, how about just a fucking road? Why are we going underground? Well, there's already roads that can get you there.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, like an above-ground bullet train. A bullet train, yeah.
SPEAKER_05I feel like he probably didn't say that he was building that, but he's full of shit.
SPEAKER_04Bullet train goes, get one from fucking every major city in Texas to Lake Charles or Oklahoma. Oh, bro. Because you go to these casinos, they're all Texas licensed books.
SPEAKER_06Actually, that's a bad idea because I've got on the fucking weekdays and it's too busy as is.
SPEAKER_04Dude, I'm but I want to get there. I want to be able to get off. I don't want to just go to the bar. I don't want to go see live music. I want to go to the casino. 30 minutes, dude. New Orleans. And then also I can fucking get home.
SPEAKER_05A day trip to New Orleans.
SPEAKER_04Dude, think about Ubering from my house to whatever bus stop, going there, coming back drunk as hell, getting back in the light time to my house. Yes. It's like time for me for Tita. Why don't we do New Orleans for your backmanship? That's what that's what I want to do. That's what I want to use the two. It's two consecutive comp nights Sunday through Thursday. In New Orleans? Oh no, no, no. This is like Charles.
SPEAKER_06But isn't there a LaBurge in New Orleans? There is. There's two biggest.
SPEAKER_04These are nuggets. Damn it. But I mean, I'll spend a room. Good little road trip. If we're all splitting a room, yeah.
SPEAKER_06Split a fucking room, bro.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, dude. Split a fucking room.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, just go. Yeah, I gotta split a fucking room, dude. Are you kidding me? All three of us? Yeah. If we're going on a fucking boy stress, definitely. Yeah. 150? Well, you're probably inviting more people. No.
SPEAKER_04It wouldn't be more than this room. I don't really hang out with anybody else except for those. Let's invite Dante. David? Yeah, Dante. Dante and David. Let's invite Dante. Dante would be a good one. David's definitely not allowed to go.
SPEAKER_01David will be in bed by eight.
SPEAKER_04We'll tell David it's somebody else's bachelor party because he wouldn't be allowed to come to mind.
SPEAKER_05Dude, David's gonna be wearing you know those fishbowls that you get like those big bunches. He's just gonna be wearing it one hour after being there.
SPEAKER_04It's just gonna be all fucking red. Fucking David, man.
SPEAKER_06Bro, I don't care what the fucking function is, like, David is gonna pass out like before the sun goes down. So I've learned about him. That's Pooh Bear, dude. The motherfucker loves sleeping.
SPEAKER_04If we brought David to any kind of like casino type thing, he would be our Doug in the hangover. I'll tell you what, I wouldn't look for him.
SPEAKER_06Oh, dude, I'd search Dude, I would high and low, bro. Every floor. I'd put the world on fire for David. I'd set the world on fire. That is a fun very high before. If you get high and just look at David, dude. It's the funniest fucking shit. David, on some real shit.
SPEAKER_04David is one of my favorite people ever. Like David, he does something to me where it's like I'm like 15 and smoking weed for the first time again. He just makes me like giggle like a like a bitch.
SPEAKER_06I'll tell you the first time. Nice, dude. My first time ever doing like dabs was with David. Oh my god. Bro, it was a terrible experience. Because like I would like I smoked like uh I smoked like weed a couple times. Like when I say a couple, I mean literally like two or three times. Yeah. And you did dabs? Well, he was like one of my like closest homies at work. Yeah. And he was like, Oh, you smoke weed now? He's like, bro, come hang out with me. Like, let's smoke weed. I'll like he's like, I'll I'll fucking I'll smoke you out. Like, that's uh, but also I always thought smoke you out sounded so sexual. It literally it it is sexual.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, smoke you out. I've never said that to a boy before.
SPEAKER_05But that's David. I've received that invitation for a dude before, and like that is I'll smoke you out? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He told his tongue.
SPEAKER_04But if you're gonna smoke it with another guy, just be like, hey, come over, smoke. I got you. Yeah, I got you. I'll spot you. It's matched. Matched. It's matched. Holy moly.
SPEAKER_06Never seen him without a beard, huh?
SPEAKER_04Why does he have oh my god. He's always had the same stupid ass bowl coat.
SPEAKER_05You remember when he said, like, uh, if you ever get your hairline fixed, you're gonna have your shit right here. Yeah, it looks like you're wearing a fitted.
SPEAKER_04Is that his pinned at the top? Does he have anything pinned? Go to the top. Oh no, I thought he had his car pinned uh in front of that's just timeline.
SPEAKER_06But uh he he was like, come on, bro, like like let's smoke, right? So like okay. So I went to go like hang out with him at like one of his um buddies' house. It was our buddy Moises, it was his house, and I was like a bunch of his friends went over there, and they're all gonna smoke and watch Star Wars together. And I have never really like watched Star Wars before. And um I go into the garage, dude. And keep in mind, like I've only like ever like hit out of a pipe or like smoked a joint at the time. And then like they like were in the garage with less smoke, and they pulled out like a dab rig and like a fucking torch and shit. And I was like, Oh, we're doing drugs. I was like, We're doing fucking drugs, bro. And like I hit it and I took like a baby hit at first. You know, David. David's like, nah. I took like a and I'm like, all right, I'm good. He's like, nah. He's like, I hit that shit. So I took like a rip of it. Oh. And it was like third time smoking was just like dabs. Like, and David has good shit. And um, I smoked that shit, and it was like, I'm talking like within a minute, I felt it. Like immediately. Like it hit the shit. Yeah, once you get done coughing on dabs, you're out of your fucking thing. Immediately, I felt like I was on a boat and I was just like moving. Like I couldn't keep, I felt like I had vertigo. And like I like went upstairs and uh, let's go watch Star Wars. And I'm like, okay. And like we go up to the room to watch Star Wars. And we go into the room. It's like it's just like five guys, and like go into the room, close the door, big ass TV, loud as mu loud as fuck, dude. Like as loud as you can play the movie. Yeah. And they just like pitch black in there. And there's like air mattresses on the ground, like to sit on and like watch this shit. And I remember I was just like having like the craziest panic attack, trying to focus on Star Wars, and all these potheads around me were just like, whoa, whoa. And I'm over here trying to focus on my breathing, dude. I was like freaking the fuck out. Dude, yeah. I was so scared.
SPEAKER_04The first time I did dabs, me and my buddy paid $10 each to go to this guy's house, an upperclassman's house, and he had dabs. And he showed up to his house and he's like, Alright, hit this. We hit it, and then we left. Um he dabbed you out. But he dabbed me out. He dabbed the fuck out of me. But I coughed for like 10 minutes. Immediately, like I like felt like I couldn't breathe. Like I was like choking myself out in this guy's attic. And then uh more sexual by the minute, dude. Like, I don't know what the fuck was going on. Oops. Uh he drove us back to his dad's house, and there was like a wreck, and there was like a bunch of cops up there, and I was like, bro, Alan, calm down, chill out, chill out. And like was like almost about a cry. Alan? No, me. Oh, yeah. I was like freaking out. He's like, bro, shut the fuck up. I were eating. I was so high.
SPEAKER_02And then we got back to the back.
SPEAKER_04Is it like the worst high? Yeah. It was terrible. I was awake for like another hour. And in that hour, I was like spazzing in the car, got to his dad's house, threw up, and fell asleep on the floor. And that was the only time I ever did dabs. Oh, you've never done them again? No, I did watch I watched our class president do dabs and get too high. And just he like laid down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. That's crazy.
SPEAKER_02I think I did too much.
SPEAKER_04Very presidential about it. He's got his fingers crossed. Yeah. Just like no, literally, he was playing, he had his fingers crossed on his belly, and he was like, No, you guys, I'm you guys go downstairs without me. I'm gonna chill here. David was uh go ahead and pull up the lightsaber stuff with David Beatrice.
SPEAKER_05Oh, no, alright. Open a new tab. If you could, if I gotta interject for a second, open a new tab, pull up Mr. Beast. Does David look like Mr. Beast? I'm trying to see something. He kind of does. I'm trying to see something. Okay, now go back to David. Go back to David. Find one of David smiling, please. We can find David smiling. It's fine. Let's go with that one right there. I have the body of a god. Go back to David. Let's let's find David David. Let's find David smiling. You don't want to see it.
SPEAKER_04We need to go to looks looksmatch.com and put their pictures together and see what the percentage is. Is that a thing? Looks match?
SPEAKER_06Yeah. Yeah. Joe Jonas? Happens all the time.
SPEAKER_05JoJo? Jojo? You're gonna get fucking Joan Rivers, is what you need to get. There it is. Oh, you gotta take a picture of yourself and then I'll show you. While Don works, I can't wait till looksmax.com. It's gonna be like it's gonna like you put in case and it's gonna give you like uh like the looks max version. Like it's gonna be like Ryan Gosling and Place Beyond the Pines. Well just Gage's wife. Fuck.
SPEAKER_06We talked about that yesterday. Yeah. We went and fucking we did a bag workout yesterday. And we were talking about that shit. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, you look like Ryan Gosseline, you kind of sound like him too. I wonder if you fuck like him too. Hey.
SPEAKER_05I'll never know. The place beyond the pussy, dude. I would if I was trying to live, I would just watch the first like 20 minutes of that movie and just like that's that's that's your North Star. Which I guess we do come. This is this is what I could be.
SPEAKER_04I used to. I used to. Before the mustache and before the the beer caught up with me.
SPEAKER_05I I re-watched that movie recently. It is it is tragic. Yeah. I've never seen it. The Place Be on the Pines?
SPEAKER_04Oh yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, that movie's so sick. James McCann is the man.
SPEAKER_05James, yes.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_05It's a Ryan Gosling movie. It's actually I think it's worse.
SPEAKER_04Where he met his wife. It's the I'm sure you have it.
SPEAKER_06I know I have it. I know what it's like. He has like face tattoos and shit. Yeah, he's like super cycle guy. Bradley Cooper's in it. Yeah, I never seen it. Oh, dude, watch it. Is it good? He's good. Well, you just love Ryan Gossling, though. It is a good movie. Ryan Gosling is kind of he's kind of he's a great actor. I enjoy his movies a lot. Dude, I bet he eats box nice. He does. I bet he munches box, dude.
SPEAKER_04Alright, cut the shit out. Take that down. Take that down. Take that down. My friend Robert used to want to take pictures of me.
SPEAKER_05Oh, yeah. Is that who dabbed you out? Yeah.
SPEAKER_04No. No. Different upperclassmen. I was getting hoed out by the upper class. They're really taking turns on your little ass, dude. The upperclassmen look like totally. This is another Robert picture. I oh, yep.
SPEAKER_05There we go. I mean, Robert's doing you a solid.
SPEAKER_04They're kind of tough. It's kind of like the uh what do you guys? It's the lazy eye, the natural lazy eye, and then my like crossfaded lazy eye and all of these pictures is uh what does it was at Cinemark during the daytime. We didn't buy movie tickets, we just went to the parking lot. That was fucking Ryan silly. Yeah, dude. I used to be on some gay shit. Let's change the subject, man. Nah, this is gay as fuck.
SPEAKER_06Hey, pull up a video of me skating. Uh the one with the middle of the light. Bro, Kate, but yo, David used to be able to skate his fucking ass off. I bet when you were in your prime and David was in his prime, I bet he could outskate you. No. I bet money, bro. Not Vert.
SPEAKER_04Not Vert. He might be able to like outstreet skate. No, not even street skate. Dude, I was uh okay. He had sketchy landings on both of those.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I'm on a fucking half pipe that we built a couple hours ago.
SPEAKER_04David's a big guy.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, but you could fucking skate, dude. I'll watch videos of him hitting tray flips.
SPEAKER_04I think I have some more skate videos on here.
SPEAKER_06I then I used to have a video of you hitting a tray flip, though.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Donovan used to skate pretty good, too.
SPEAKER_04Did you go down some? No, I don't have any more skate videos. That's the only one I think that made it. Just you hitting an Ollie? No, that was a heel flip. That's an Ollie. But whatever. Alright, we're going down too far. Go back up. Yeah, I guess that's the only skate thing. All my skate stuff was on my my other Instagram in iSquires. Oh hey, click on cool stuff. This was not too long ago. I did a heel flip in my garage. Pretty cool.
SPEAKER_06Like five years out of the game. That's pretty nice, dude. Nice. Yeah. Yeah, as kid was just like blocking the view. Did she dab you up?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, she dab me up. That is the one thing I'm excited for is teaching my son how to skate.
SPEAKER_04Dude, what if he's gay? Hey, whatever you do, let me know. I'm gonna bring Reese out and we'll teach them together. That's gonna be fun.
SPEAKER_06Dude, Reese would fucking you think she would shred?
SPEAKER_04What's she just picked up? Look at her long, curly blonde hair. She was made to shred. Yeah, dude. She's gonna fucking shred. She's gonna be the most degenerate lady ever. How about it? She's not exactly like me.
SPEAKER_06Her car's gonna smell like cigarettes in high school, dude. Probably. She's gonna be just crushing camera.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, dude. She's probably gonna start smoking spliffs. Weed and tobacco.
SPEAKER_05At least, like, you know, at least you're like, hey, well, my daughter's she's being productive. She got some nicetine year system. Dude. Yeah, she's steezed out. Yeah. That's well, honestly, I feel like that would like she's it's more likely that she's gonna intimidate dudes that like that are gonna approach her in high school because you're like, it's not like she's just gonna be impressed by a heel like a fucking like Ollie. No, not even close to an Ollie.
SPEAKER_04No, fuck no, she's gonna be heel flipping. Yeah, she's gonna be heel flipping. Yeah, dude, she's gonna be funny. She's gonna scream. Reese is gonna be fucking funny, but Reese. Dude, her facial expressions. I still don't know what she's saying. What was she talking about? What was she saying? I pulled up YouTube and it had like uh some like sing-along videos, and she's like, no, I want fruit dick. And I was like, what? She was like, I said fruit dick. She's like double down. Yeah, and I was like, I don't know what the fuck. I don't think you know what you're talking about. I said it to my mom because she watches it. How you call her buddy is so funny. Dude, I literally I tell Kenzie all the time, like, dude, like she would love you. Just like treat her like a buddy. Like, I that's just my best friend. Yeah. Fucking three-year-old girl. As dude, we do everything. Wanting fruit dick, dude. Yeah. It's only a matter of time. Stay out of the words, buddy.
SPEAKER_06Then we go to the third. Oh, man. Dude, she's so funny, bro. When she like the facial expressions that like she'll make, or dude, she'll like uh we were on the like the patio, and I said something to her. She looked at me, she was like, like side-eyed the fuck out of me. Like I said, just like some outlandish shit. And I'm pretty sure I just asked her if I could have like whatever she had in her hand.
SPEAKER_04She was like, what the fuck? She's so fucking standoffish, dude. She's so funny, bro. Did you talk to you? Like it literally takes, yeah, it takes like me. I take a while to warm up the people before I can be that comfortable around them. It's just anything for her, yeah.
SPEAKER_06I was talking to uh I was talking to my fucking Dustin and Michelle. And they're insane. We were there talking about how they watched the last podcast. And uh they're like, I'm so happy that like I heard Casey's point of view because I thought that he was just like kind of a standoffish, like weird person. And I was like, I was like, no, he was just super baked. Yeah, yeah. No, no, not at all.
SPEAKER_02You're just so baked.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I was baked as fuck. And also, the whole the only way I could get like unbaked was getting drunk. That's so funny. So that was that would have that's what happened. David had the same theory. Sorry, Dustin. Yeah, David just went to sleep. David had the same theory. Yeah, he gave it because I was having the whole thing. I was like, man, I gotta go to bed. Like, I'm gonna go back to the BNB, so bed. But then I started drinking and I was like, dude, this is fucking sick. Like, it really cured it? Yeah, that's crazy. I was sipping on a one mickel up for like an hour and a half, and I finally finished it, got another one, and I was like, alright, it's time. Like it's it's go time. But yeah. That is the cure to like if you're too high, just get drunk.
SPEAKER_06I don't think that's ever worked for me, dude. Dude, you'll either like what's what's what's the one you don't want to do first? You don't want to get drunk first?
SPEAKER_04I always get uh I don't get drunk first, but I my rule of thumb for if I'm gonna smoke like more than two or three hits, three beers and a joint. Is that three beers and a joint uh smooth? I don't have to better rolls. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05I'll always if I'm doing like a solo like trip on like mushrooms or something like that, I'll like always have beers just in the like I haven't ended up like reaching for them until I was like had completely come down. Or like uh or like there have been times where like I came down and I'm like, oh I friends hit you up or whatever, and you're like, oh, I'm gonna go out while I just came down. That's the best. Yeah. But like they're around just like alright, in case I start spiraling, let me just like beer is over-the-counter anti-anxiety medicine.
SPEAKER_04That's that's what beer is. Like that's not it's just to me, it just helps me go to sleep, I guess. Beer?
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Beer, like is I just get super sleepy. Uh dude, I like come alive. Really? Yeah. Well, I guess it depends on where I'm at when I'm sleep uh. I'm a little bit like socially awkward, but it takes it all away. Like I talked to anybody. If I have a couple beers, I'll talk to anybody. That's fair. That's my problem. That's why you're always using fucking hammering. Yeah. Yeah, the more I have to talk to people, the more I drink. I'm finding myself talking to a lot of people.
SPEAKER_06Uh you inject Bluetooth into the rest of your body? Look at those dit vans. Come on, huh? This is good? I thought we're good. I mean, I'm down for more. We do have to pick one episode this month that has to be an hour because I looked at the uploads.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_06I d I never was like into the I need to know this. Is Shia the Buff Jewish? If mom's Jewish, that means Jewish. Yeah, because it comes from your mom, right? Yeah, yeah. It's like that's how it works, it comes from your mom.
SPEAKER_05It is crazy because they're insinuating, like, whoa, your mom could have cheated. Or like, yeah, like you're What do you mean? It's the the it has to be Like if your mom's Jew, that's how it works.
SPEAKER_06Like if your mom's Jewish, you're ethnically Jewish.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, whereas if only your dad is, then they're they're like, Whoa, you know, the wife could have fucked somebody else. So we know we know he's Jewish because he's from the mom.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, but he talks about being a true Catholic now.
SPEAKER_04He's been doing both. He's Jewish, had a born mitzvah, grew up both ways, and was also baptized as a child.
SPEAKER_06Nobody's a blood and a crib, dog.
SPEAKER_04Uh click show more. Does it say his choice?
SPEAKER_06Is he circumcised? Shallabof circumcised. Pull up Shia Buff's dick, please, on images. I want to know if he's Jewish.
SPEAKER_01Conversion to Catholicism in 2023.
SPEAKER_06Hey, your boy chose the fucking light, dude.
SPEAKER_05Catholic?
SPEAKER_06Your boy chose the light side, dude. Yoda for the win.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, he went from uh from biting the foreskin off with his teeth to just straight up sucking them off.
SPEAKER_06To what? That's Catholicism. Yeah, Catholics. Oh, to straight up sucking him off, yeah. Hey man, well, at least he's not really hurting him. You know what I mean? He's not a biter anymore. At least I'm not hurting him, you know? There's a joke. It's like uh the priest is talking about like fuck, dude. I'm gonna butcher it. I don't know the whole joke, but it's like basically talking about like a priest that like does a whole bunch of shit to like a bunch of little kids at like a Catholic school. The guy's like, yeah, I went to Catholic school, but like I like my parents like pulled me out, like it's just crazy. Like, like that's what I could have become if I would have become a priest too. Like it's like talking about like fucking with the kids. I fucking butchered the joke, bro. But like the joke's really good.
SPEAKER_05Well do you ever wonder if like if all like if a lot of like the nuns and a lot of like the uh the what's it called, like the the Catholic clergy or whatever, if they were gay? Because like if I was like if gay being gay was like a crime, like if like being a girl and liking box was a crime, I would just like go into hiding and be like, oh no, I can't get married. Oh no, darn.
SPEAKER_06Yo, you think all the nuns are gay?
SPEAKER_05Oh, I can't fuck guys. No, I'm not saying all of them, but that that would be a pretty high IQ move. That is pretty high IQ. If I like if I like titties, Catholic dykes. Yeah, if and then you're like, well, and I don't want to marry a dude, and I don't want to have like kids or something like that. I don't want to have kids with a dude and be like, uh just become a nun. Catholic dykes. I'm gonna go Catholic? Is that what you said? Catholics. Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna become a nun until I can just get into like a lavender marriage with like with one of the gay uh priests or whatever who also can't fuck. Technically.
SPEAKER_06No, the gay priest can fuck, dude. Just kids. Yeah, but they can fuck, dude. I promise you, the gay priest can fuck.
SPEAKER_05I I feel like that like that's probably the move.
SPEAKER_06Like you just Who are the best Catholics out right now? The Shane Gillis count? Hardcore Catholic, right? Yeah, yeah. I don't know, I would say hardcore. Dude, Mark, Marky Mark, Macky Mac. Marky Mark's the Catholic, yeah. That's the face of the Catholic Catholicism right now.
SPEAKER_04Got on all this designer drip drip.
SPEAKER_06Mark, Marky Mark kind of pisses me off.
SPEAKER_04His later I haven't watched any of his later stuff, but they're all they're all pretty bad.
SPEAKER_05They're not good.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I don't watch it on purpose because I don't want to ruin the reputation of like the cool actor he was when I was a kid. I kind of just want to still perceive him as that.
SPEAKER_05Did he did he like convert later in life?
SPEAKER_04No, he's been beating up Chinese people for a long time.
SPEAKER_06I'm pretty sure like he was like raised Catholic. Well, I'm just talking more so about like his movies. They just all kind of are they're not good. Yeah, the other guys is okay. Yeah, that was a good guy. That was a good guy.
SPEAKER_04It's okay now, but when it came out, that was funny as shit. That was funny. Survivor is okay now. When it came out, it was awesome. Yeah, it is it is okay now. It doesn't really like live. He's an actor of the 2010s. It does suck. He's one of the actors of the 2010s. Mark Wahlberg was in almost every two guns? Cool as fuck. What's the movie about him? Uh him with the gym. What's what the fuck was that movie? Pain again, yeah. Awesome movie. Him and the rock. Both Ted movies, awesome. Daddy's Home, one and two. Funny family movies.
SPEAKER_06I don't know. Okay, wait, hold on. Is Mark Wahlberg the man?
SPEAKER_04Shooter's fire, dude. I haven't seen Shooter. Shooters are fucking that's an awesome movie to watch on DVD at your fucking house. Transformers, those stuff. Transformers, yeah, Invincible. Awesome movies. Uh Four Brothers. Four Brothers, dude. That's his best work. Awesome movie. Mark Wahlberg. That's a good movie. Young Monkey Mark and Pipper was fucking good.
SPEAKER_06Boogie Knights of Fighters. Fuck Boogie Knights, dude. I fucking hate Boogie Knights, man. What else is there? I'm Boogie. I'm Boogie E.
SPEAKER_04He did Max Payne? Yeah. Never heard of it. I'm gonna have to watch that. Max Payne. Oh, that was based on the video game? Yeah, I played the games. I never knew Marky. Alright, bro.
SPEAKER_06Maybe Marky Mark doesn't suck that bad. Lovely Bones was good too. Lovely Bones is awesome. The father is good.
SPEAKER_04You know Ryan Gosling was supposed to be the dad in Lovely Bones, but he got too fat? No way. Look at that fat Rossling guy, yeah. Rossling guy. Rossling guy. Hold on. Mitch a lot of time. Ryan Gosling. Sorry, guys. That was crazy. I thought you were doing a bit for a second.
SPEAKER_01Not even fat. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04This is basically what happened to me from 18 to 26. I know that clip. I know that clip.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. I know that clip because we all share an algorithm now.
SPEAKER_04What do you mean?
SPEAKER_05Like if I go in the room tip. Do you like slide on um?
SPEAKER_04I try not to watch reels on there. Yeah. Every time I find myself like accidentally watching reels on there, I switch accounts. Just dog shit. Do you want me to put my algorithm on uh the Instagram please?
SPEAKER_06Oh dude. I brought you ever since you like mentioned the pineapple thing to me, like they keep popping up on my shit and they piss me off. There's one of those like little white boys. Dude, have a good time. There's like one of this little white boy like Eden, he goes, Oh, de big gay.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04As far as social media algorithms go, what is the alternative to watching like funny retarded shit? Dude, mine's like straight government shit. Alright, I'm picking funny retarded shit.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, for sure. There's funny retarded shit, and then there's Donovan's timeline, and it's just I just cut off work, it's time to watch the government. Donovan's timeline is like cancer.
SPEAKER_04Donovan, yeah, Donovan's worse than mine. The videos you see me, I have a hard time even like watching.
SPEAKER_05Yours is government shit and like semin retention. You're like, no, babe, sorry, I can't. I can't come to someone.
SPEAKER_01I felt it in my soul when Huey was like, I'm gonna have to sign with Casey on this one. So I was like, I gotta film my timeline real quick and say your timeline is like I don't understand. What's crazy is usually pretty normal. Yeah, fucking right. I've never taken me long to get to where it is.
SPEAKER_05I feel like your timeline is like it's like idiocracy. No, it's it's like it's like Florida. It's fucking Florida Jit curriculum. Like what your timeline is like taught that's like uh you know when you like go into middle school and they have like enrichment period for the first like 30 minutes or whatever, where you like you just line up in the bleachers, like, hey, we're doing a little assembly thing. That's they just show Donovan's timeline. You'd be like, all right, here you go, kids.
SPEAKER_06Dude, Donovan's timeline is it's and the funny the funniest part about Donovan's timeline is like he'll scroll for six videos straight, and all of them have like sub 40 likes. So he's like literally the only person watching this shit. He's like the only fresh off the press. Yeah, only person watching this shit. Yeah, he's picking strap in.
SPEAKER_02He's like, ha ha ha, and just like on to the next one.
SPEAKER_04Those are the best. I get a uh every once in a while I get like a schizophrenic 13 likes, and they're just like losing their mind. Driving around with like 50 rocks in their backseat. Yeah, there's one lady, she's not on my timeline anymore, but she was you might have you might know this lady. She had uh it's I think it's called a parasocial relationship where you like imagine a relationship with a celebrity. Yeah. Uh it's her and Johnny Manzel. Mike Wiley. She went, she went to college station around the same time as him and like lost her mind on drugs, and she like lives at her mom's house or whatever now. Johnny Manzel sounds familiar. Yeah, Johnny, like her and Johnny Manzella are like fighting against sex rings and the government.
SPEAKER_01Yes, yes, yes. I know exactly you're talking about that.
SPEAKER_06That lady, dude, she's fucking crazy. There's one girl that was like there's like a white girl who's like had like a face tattoo, and she was like clearly super on some type of drugs, and every time she Would get on there, she just kept talking about how Eminem was her dad.
SPEAKER_04Was this the same lady as the the pumpkin pumpkin spice latte?
SPEAKER_06I don't think so. No. But she gets on there and she's like, Yeah, Eminem's triple black like owes me a lot of money and he's a deadbeat motherfucker, and like this and that.
SPEAKER_01Uh my favorite thing with two was I need to find the video. I thought about it today, actually. Was whenever uh my Insta or my TikTok live would be that level of like three viewers, four viewers, and I would get them to wish Alec a happy birthday.
SPEAKER_06Dude, he got for my birthday one year. He got like it was probably like a two-minute video.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it was like at least 40 people that I got to like wish you a happy birthday.
SPEAKER_06Wasn't one of them like why the fuck would I wish anybody a happy birthday? What's the point of wanting to be alive on this planet or some shit? Like just guy just started fucking death spiraling. Bro, do you still have that video somewhere?
SPEAKER_01I gotta find it. That shit was so good.
SPEAKER_06David like helped you make it. David like helped you make it. Like he screen recorded a couple of them too.
SPEAKER_08Really?
SPEAKER_06Yeah. I remember because he screen recorded one and it was like kind of dog shit, and you're like, this is the only thing I could get. And you're like, that's fucking way better than anything I have. It's like fucking, and that was like some like legit retard. Oh my gosh. Bro, you gotta fucking find that shit. That was one of the honestly was one of the best gifts ever. That shit was so fucking funny. There's the uh you remember EDP 445? Yeah, the pedophile. Yeah, the uh he's like Philly fan. He's like, shut the fuck up, Alec. You minuto eat motherfucker or some shit.
SPEAKER_08Like yeah.
SPEAKER_06He is a Philly fan. Um did that make you feel better. He's dead. Is he dead? EDP 445's dead?
SPEAKER_04No, he's not. Natural cause, yeah. He got like a like fat disease. Like, was some he got some kind of condition from being super overweight? When the fuck did this happen? It's a couple of years ago.
SPEAKER_06No, he's not dead. Don. Pull up EDP 445 from me, please. He is not dead. He's definitely dead.
SPEAKER_05He got stage five gout.
SPEAKER_06Dude, I saw some crazy gout today. Is EDP 445 is an American, meaning he's still out there. Wait, pull pull up.
SPEAKER_05I feel like I know this guy actually. From back when I actually like not dead.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, dude. Oh, ongoing internet death. I got tricked. Alright, so he's just keeping a low-key shade with the kiddos. Okay.
SPEAKER_01It's alright. He got caught up a few times.
SPEAKER_06Alright, enough. He got caught up a few times with the children, too. Yeah. It wasn't like a one-time everybody makes mistakes kind of shit. Dude, I actually thought he died. I got you. Is he in jail? No, he's free. He's a free man. No, this is pretty much like you can do whatever you want and get away with the kind of country now.
SPEAKER_04Yes, yeah, it is.
SPEAKER_06Maybe he's Jewish. Maybe that's what he's doing.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, he's an Israelite. That motherfucker ain't light.
SPEAKER_06We said about full home and forty five. Once again, we have we have Don just looking for away, though. Oh dude, pull up uh pull up heavy D. Pull up Heavy D. Oh, dude, heavy D. Well, heavy D, I fucking love heavy D.
SPEAKER_01I found the birthday message. You did? Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Pull the shit up, bro.
SPEAKER_02Holy shit. He looks like a gnome. Brian Gnome.
SPEAKER_00Is that motherfucker eating raw meat?
SPEAKER_06Is he eating raw meat?
SPEAKER_05Go back. Go back to that. We'll get to it. We have a dude, I forgot about this video.
SPEAKER_04Wow.
SPEAKER_08Birthday.
SPEAKER_00Birthday.
SPEAKER_03Oh.
SPEAKER_04Birthday, buddies. That guy's popping right now. That's the guy with the belly. That guy's like famous. Wow. Wow. Where's the capture card when you need it? We gotta run this back next week.
SPEAKER_02Quite a bit of the bug.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, next week we or yeah, put it in the video. That was crazy. Show uh show Huey Heavy D, please.
SPEAKER_06Specifically the one where he's talking about eating pussy. I watched opened up Instagram today and he was like, You girls are fucking up out there. I got good dick. I can give you some good dick now.
SPEAKER_02What's that fucking uh that Joshua Joshua Black?
SPEAKER_01Is that the guy who liked the like running around and drinks a fucking time?
SPEAKER_04I like BBW. Oh, dude, yeah. Who's that? Joshua. That's what it was. It's the white version of that guy. Dude, bro, yes. He'll just like he'll get on, like, smoke a joint and be like, I was fucking this one, big bitch.
SPEAKER_06This motherfucker kills me, dude. Heavy D and golf. I'm not gonna be able to put all this in the you guys gotta look up heavy D. Not this one, next one, next one, next one. You gotta go through his shit. This is just somebody watching him. Bro, go to the go to the go through the group chat, the ones we send. Because this guy posts like fucking a hundred times a day. Half of them are nothing.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Fuck, dude. Do we not have uh figured out Don? Do you remember King Dave?
SPEAKER_05Smoking I'm smoking doinks. Yeah, big doinks and Amish. Smoking doink's and Amish.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, big doinks and Amish. Amish.
SPEAKER_05That guy sucked too. Smoking big fucking doink. Hey. Respect on King Dave's name. That guy sucked too. I didn't like that. Nah, dude, nah, he died. Did he?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, yeah, he died a long time ago. Smoking big doinks and Amish. Is this another internet rumor? Is this guy smoking?
SPEAKER_05No, he like he was actually dead. Like he uh he was big. He was bigger than that EDP 245, whatever. He was a big guy. Is this the one who's like I know I'm fat white trash guy?
SPEAKER_03Stop calling me fucking fat.
SPEAKER_05Is that that guy? No, no, no. Okay, Donovan. We can save it for next one. Pull up big doinks.
SPEAKER_04Shut up, bitch. That's a good video.
SPEAKER_06Pull up. Yeah, bro. Fucking heavy D, bro. That motherfucker. Heavy D is funny as shit, dude. Golly. It's so funny because it's just like everything that that guy says is like 100% a lie. Yeah. He was like, man, I'll tell you what, I was fucking this one girl last summer. I know I talked to this story before, but I'm gonna tell you again. I was fucking this one girl. What was her name? Um man, what was her name? Uh Melissa. That was her name. It's just like man, I was one of those.
SPEAKER_04Like some of his videos will get like 30k likes. Some of them will go crazy. Dude, my favorite one is He's the blue shirt. There's one with the blue shirt that goes, do the 420 one. Right there. Let's see what he's talking about here.
SPEAKER_06What this one? This one?
SPEAKER_04Oh, this only has 14 likes.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, but he'll have one. He was like has one where he's like uh I was fucking his 50-year-old MILF on the tailgate of my car, and I mean I was fucking her. I put my dick out, she like squirted and everything everywhere.
SPEAKER_04He's just repeating stuff, his black coworkers say he's like, yeah, he's he does everything with like a black scent too. Uh he's living.
SPEAKER_05I think he's in like Kansas. You remember that Dollamite movie that was uh it was like uh about the basically the guy who kind of like like invented rap. It was a Netflix movie. I forget who started it. Oh, Soja Boy? No, it was like it's it takes place in the 70s. There's a real guy named Dollamite, and he was kind of like a like a spoken word comedian, but he would rhyme a lot. They were saying like that was kind of like the beginnings of like rap music. This is like the 70s. Really? But uh he kind of stole like his initial bit and like character from like some like crackhead, like homewards guy with a lot of charisma that he ran into. And I'm just picturing like heavy D as like a coworker who's actually living out the shit he's doing, yeah, but is just like living his life.
SPEAKER_06He's the one I sent there's the screen recorder, the screen recording too in the messages where it's like he's praising God. I didn't watch that. Oh, dude.
unknownYears ago. I remember I remember uh it was this uh uh what was her name?
SPEAKER_05This coworker Darnell. Melissa.
SPEAKER_07Melissa, you were dead on him for a while.
unknownLike it wasn't just like a one-time fuck being a robot robot.
SPEAKER_04A one-time fuck. So the guy fucking this lady for a while.
unknownSo I remember one time I did this baby shit, bro.
SPEAKER_04It's like you know he was lying to me. This attention Dave was on the morning that we left on your bathroom. He's got that look in his eyes where it's like you could probably throw a bunk inhead. Like he's got the look where it's like he's definitely this guy's not normal.
SPEAKER_05Every time I see a character, I have this problem where every time I see a character this ridiculous, I I want to believe that they're a comedic genius. You think it's a bit? I want to believe I want to be like I want to believe uh clavicular is It's like Zacharific. Dude, I saw it's like it's like it's fucking uh uh Norm McDonald's. I want to believe Clavicular is fucking Norm McDonald's. He's just Norm McDonald's. He's like, I'm gonna be I'm gonna be in this bit until I make $10 million, and then I'm just gonna be normal. Yeah. And I'm like, I was like, hey, remember that two years where I was fucking putting a hammer to my face? That was crazy, dude. Anyway.
SPEAKER_04I saw a video of Clav today on TikTok. It was like an emotional like edit of Clav. Oh. Yeah, it was like him like trying not to cry while I was talking about getting bullied and had like a sad song. He was? Yeah. It like actually got to me. And I was like, oh, dude, this is so gay.
SPEAKER_06He's such a mocker, bro.
SPEAKER_04You're such a clav fan.
SPEAKER_06Well, like, oh he was talking about there's a video of the guy who was like, stop giving Clav a hard time.
SPEAKER_02He's going through a hard time.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I thought about it. I was like, I'm gonna give him his uh leave Brittany alone moment. Yeah. I was watching, I was like, you motherfuckers.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, dude, I would fucking bully Clav too if I went to high school with him. That guy's clearly gay.
SPEAKER_04No, he was ugly as shit, and he just like looks max his way to the top. So was he used to be ugly? He got bullied in high school for being ugly. That's all that's what the whole interview I was watching, or the clip of the interview I was watching was about. They were like, what would your 14-year-old self think about you? And he was like, um. And he was like excessively bad. Biking tears? Yeah, he was like fighting back tears. Mentally, like, nothing's changed for me.
SPEAKER_06That guy's gonna kill himself. I think so. That guy's gonna kill himself.
SPEAKER_04I think he is. I hate to say it. Yeah. Hopefully, uh before he gets the charge on Florida. Uh, I think he beat the case. Did he beat the case?
SPEAKER_05I'm pretty sure he beat the case. Wow. That's a fair game in Florida, shooting an alligator.
SPEAKER_06No, hey, if you shot definitely not the worst thing that's got shot in in Florida. If you should if you're gonna be. Well, I think uh Kodak Black got shot once there.
SPEAKER_05Kodak. Trayvon Martin got shot there. Pretty sure that's right. Yeah. It's just like, hey, at least you didn't shoot the alligator ten times, alright?
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Everybody forgets about the Mexican on black crime.
SPEAKER_05Clavicular. He's fucking like 21, 22, or something like that. Well, he just needs his frontal lobe to develop this all.
SPEAKER_04Bag of Skittles. Do you guys remember that? Yeah. What the f- Oh, yeah. Donovan remembers this. Yeah, Arizona Skittles. Donovan went to the parade. Did you? You're the one that threw the Molotov cocktail. What the fuck are you trying to? I don't have a keyboard. Dude. How old is uh Clavoxular? Oh, is uh How old is Plavix?
SPEAKER_03Just type Clav. Clove. Holy shit. Clav. Holy shit. What are those tanks?
SPEAKER_02Oh my god! He gotta figure it to fucking.
SPEAKER_04How old are the Cleveland Cavaliers? There it is. That was nuts, bro. He is 20! Clav is 20. Clav's stunning on us, dude. It's like he's fucking punching the keyboard. Oh man. 20 years old? All the bitches, all the money. Oh man.
SPEAKER_06I'm gonna hang out with Heavy D so fucking bad. Oh, dude. I would love to hang out with Heavy. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Do you think his name starts with a D, or do you think his username is?
SPEAKER_06I watched a video of him breaking down how he got that nickname. Is it Heavy Dick? Yeah. Well he said back when one of the first, he's like the first time I went to jail is how I got my nickname. Supposedly he gets arrested like every Thursday.
SPEAKER_05He's going to prison like his Wendy's.
SPEAKER_06A cop showed up talking about I was the last person seen with a girl who's missing now. And like, and then after that he started rapping Jesus afterwards, and everybody's like, yo, he definitely killed me.
SPEAKER_04I did peep the Jesus video, and everybody was like, What the fuck are you doing? Jamaican newborn are you guys fans of uh what's the white Jamaican guy who raps? Ripper? No, no, no. Uh gosh damn it. Oh. Pussy to re M.R. Yeah. M. R.
SPEAKER_05Oh, uh Steven Zegal had a reggae song.
SPEAKER_06Did you ever hear that? No. Alright, we'll watch this after you guys say goodbye. We're gonna we'll call it here then. Sayonara.
SPEAKER_03Right. There we go.
SPEAKER_08Keep it kosher.