Willem DaFoo - RTB Ep. 21

Soccer is on the tv and there's beer in the fridge. Go grab one and let's hang out for a bit. Or don't. Who cares. See ya next Monday.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:07

What's up, guys? Bienvenidos al mundo de football. World Cup.

SPEAKER_04 0:15

It's modello time, bro. It's World Cup time.

SPEAKER_01 0:19

It is World Cup time.

SPEAKER_04 0:20

Casey got me on soccer. Yeah. He hasn't completely got me on soccer. I'm not gonna No, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:25

We went to go watch soccer at a bar where everybody was there to watch soccer, and Alec just kept on uh saying how fucking gay and retarded it was out loud. Yeah, I wish she didn't go soccer whole time. Soccer does suck.

SPEAKER_04 0:38

The most American thing about me is the fact that I think soccer sucks, bro. Soccer does suck, dude. It's just hard for me to like fathom the idea that like there's a sport where you have to fake an injury to buy more time, and there's a sport that also exists in the same world at the same time where you have to get an injury to fucking end the game. Like there's UFC where those guys are in the octagon and they're tired in the cage together, and it's like one of you is leaving alive and the other one is leaving dead, and neither one of them want to quit. They both want to kill each other to leave, and then you throw on soccer, and it's like if you shoulder check somebody on accident, mind you, they act like they just got shot. It's so fucking hard to do.

SPEAKER_01 1:14

We're talking about the same tournament where the US and Iran are playing in the same tournament. So I think there's definitely people that want to kill each other. Dude, it's a sound. It's just uh what you're allowed to do and what you're not allowed to do.

SPEAKER_03 1:25

I mean, of the countries that the US and the and Iran wanted to kill each other, they don't have like as much bad blood as say like um Croatia and Serbia playing each other. Like one they tried to ethnically cleanse the other one in the 90s, and they've done that multiple times in the past.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

Like I can tell you what, Croatia's playing in the World Cup, Serbia is not. Oh, okay. All right. Seriously not.

SPEAKER_04 1:46

Is India playing in the World Cup, Casey?

SPEAKER_01 1:48

No, I heard uh there was uh they uh declined the offer based on fear upon a uh Gatorade bath. So they're not gonna be there. They're gonna stay high and dry in old India.

SPEAKER_04 2:05

Yeah, dude, I hate soccer, bro. I have a co-worker. I don't hate soccer. Okay. I I just like I hate the fact that everyone says like it's like the best sport, and it's like it's not the best sport, dude.

SPEAKER_01 2:18

Well, that's what's cool about America, is there's so many immigrants. Most of the people you're talking to are watching soccer, and that's their favorite sport. No, they're not from America. It is a poor man sport. Uh well, depends on if you're watching or if you're playing, because I'm watching and I'm betting and I'm poor. It's a poor man's sport. If I was, but if I was playing, I mean they get paid the best. They get Saudi Arabian like oil money to get away.

SPEAKER_04 2:40

I'm not saying like soccer is like easy. I'm not saying that. It's definitely hard. Like you have to be athletically in shape for sure to play soft.

SPEAKER_01 2:48

But also, it is very entertaining. We're sitting here watching Scotland versus Haiti, and it's a one-point game. Dude, you put this shit on. I didn't put this shit on. I'm sitting here watching Haiti if it was up to me. I'm betting on this. Um, but I mean it's everybody's in it all the time. You don't know who's gonna win at all.

SPEAKER_04 3:05

I just like, bro, it's also it is funny how you point it out like this is Scotland versus Haiti, and we're watching in America, and they only have it on in Spanish. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

Shout out to Peacock, you fucking dickheads over at NBC. Just yeah. Fuck it. I guess we'll watch it in Spanish.

SPEAKER_03 3:21

The rest are only communicating in sign language. Whatever.

SPEAKER_01 3:23

You know what's cool is probably the percentage of people watching the World Cup in the US is probably majority Spanish, so they probably made a pretty fucking good deal. I mean I'm not gonna lie to you.

SPEAKER_03 3:34

And all the white people watching are they watching in a bar, so they can't hear the audio anyway.

SPEAKER_01 3:38

Yeah, too. And I will say, most of the a lot of people here in the United States that are watching the World Cup are are not very well off. The white people, white people that watch soccer are usually like to watch soccer as like a family, are usually like rich. They're like paying for their kids to be in like thousands of dollars of clubs, stuff like that. The Mexicans are like they're being the best at the fucking the goddamn YMCA.

SPEAKER_03 4:02

You're telling me their kids aren't uh aren't in in intersections asking for money to go to the city.

SPEAKER_01 4:06

The good thing about being in a third world country is you can raise your kid up to be a superstar in soccer. In the US, you cannot, because who gives a fuck about MLS? And no one does. Nobody does. Everybody that's good at soccer in the US plays in Premier League in uh the UK.

SPEAKER_04 4:20

That's funny. Yeah, if I was from another country, I probably would be like, this is the best sport ever.

SPEAKER_03 4:25

Well, because other countries like they use like they literally use soccer to like, I need this to escape the pain of daily life. I'm gonna dribble this ball all the way to work. I'm gonna I'm gonna dribble this ball all the way to work so I don't kill myself. That way I'm just gonna keep my head down. I'm gonna dribble this ball that way I don't get shot up in the favelas. We're like, we're like, here's like, I think I'll try T-ball, actually.

SPEAKER_04 4:52

I think T ball is that's the thing, is like T-ball is so much better because like if the kid does have talent and he just hammers one straight back at the pitcher mountain, you'll actually see blood. Like that's what's kind of dope about it. Like, somebody can actually get hurt in T ball. I don't think there's even even there's not even injuries in soccer, dude.

SPEAKER_01 5:09

They're all faking you will not find more than a lot of things. It is bro, it is Broadway theater.

SPEAKER_04 5:14

Dude, it's Broadway. Soccer is Broadway theater. It's like everyone's just faking being hurt the whole time.

SPEAKER_01 5:20

Well, this is you can say that about the NBA. It's just it's flopping for a strategical advantage. That's all it is. Nobody's actually.

SPEAKER_04 5:26

Yeah, but in the EBA, when you flop, you actually get two points afterwards. The fucking highest scoring soccer game of all time is four to two.

SPEAKER_03 5:32

I was pretty hurt when my dad didn't show up to my soccer games, honestly. When I was like five, that hurt. You played soccer? Yeah. Oh gosh. I just played. Everyone played soccer. I don't play fucking soccer, dude. Really? No, dude. Fuck no, bro. That's like what you just you just try your kid in that. That's like a very American thing. Like, all right, we'll do what one year of soccer, we do one year.

SPEAKER_01 5:51

I did I did the YMCA soccer for like three years, and that was it.

SPEAKER_03 5:55

All you gotta do is buy them shin guards.

SPEAKER_01 5:57

That's it. And like cleats, Walmart cleats. That's it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:00

It's very like I said, it's a poor man's sport. Wait, you literally just need a ball in a net.

unknown 6:06

That's right.

SPEAKER_04 6:06

I guess basketball's a poor man's sport, too. It's like something actually, yeah, it's a ball on a net. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:13

Um, yeah, you don't need shin guards for basketball. Yeah. Uh most of the time you need like a bulletin's hoop shoes. Depending on where you're playing. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_04 6:20

Hoop shoes. You need a bulletproof vest depending on where you're playing a pickup game.

SPEAKER_01 6:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:25

I don't know, dude. I'm a hater. Yeah. Did you say it?

SPEAKER_01 6:28

Yeah, I already said that. Oh, I didn't hear you, didn't? Okay. Sorry, bro. I'll cut it. It's alright. I'm not. I mean, it hurt my feelings a little bit. You've done that to me a couple times. What happened to you?

SPEAKER_04 6:37

Actually, I'm gonna cut out when you said it, and I'm gonna keep my part in.

SPEAKER_01 6:40

I'm gonna burn your house down right now.

SPEAKER_04 6:42

Bro, speaking of burn my fucking house down, I got a new neighbor. Golly, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I already ranted to the guys about this, but I'm gonna fucking water hose McGee? Bro, Waterhose McGee, dog. That's the new title. That's the title of title of this episode.

SPEAKER_03 6:57

Part of you is itching to have a new op, though.

SPEAKER_04 6:59

Dude, part of me is it, bro. I'm not gonna lie to you.

SPEAKER_01 7:01

Like, you need somebody to be mad at that.

SPEAKER_04 7:02

I do need somebody, but I'm pissed right now, bro. We got like a I got a new downstairs neighbor. I live in a duplex. I live in a I have a new downstairs neighbor. And uh I met him for the first time today. Peyton like had to go shoot a wedding. And like he parks his keep in mind, like the landlord tells us, hey, hey, you're getting a new neighbor soon. Like, he'll like keep we were cool with our landlord, so it tells us like when you're getting a new neighbor. I think the reason he tells us that we're getting a new neighbor is because the last time we had a new neighbor and he didn't tell us, they turned out to be like fucking crackhead drug dealers, and we heard like 12 gunshots one night and we were like, hey, what the fuck's going on? I pay a lot of money to live here. So he like keeps us up to date with the new like fucking neighbors that we get. So he tells us we're getting a new neighbor. And he's like, uh the neighbor said that one of y'all can park in the garage because he has a big truck and a work van that he's gonna be parking in the driveway. I'm like, alright, cool. So I meet him today and he has his truck parked directly in front of the garage, which right away, retard red flag. Like you live in a fucking duplex. Clearly, there's other people that live here. Why the fuck would you block the garage? That's stupid of you. That already pissed me off. Because I had a knock on the door and asked permission to leave my own house. That pissed me off. So I'm like, knock on the door, I'm like, hey, nice to meet you. I'm Alec. I live upstairs. You mind moving your fucking truck in front of the garage? My wife has to go to work. And he's like, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like shakes my hand. You said fucking? In my head, I said fucking. In my head, I said fucking, dude. That's what counts. Anyway, no, I try to be neighborly. So I'm like, Move your freaking truck. Yeah, move your freaking. That's how I do the subtitles on like other clips. But uh, I was like, Yeah, man, you might move in your truck real quick. Like, my wife's gotta go to work. He's like, Yeah, nice to meet you, yada yada. Hey, by the way, don't want to start off on the wrong foot. Which, by the way, if you fucking say, don't want to start off on the wrong foot, you have every intention of starting off on the wrong foot. Yeah. Every time, yeah, he goes, Don't want to start off on the wrong foot, but I don't want to have to deal with this every time I try to walk into the house. And he points at the water hose that's like hooked up in front of his house, and there's just a puddle of water, like one foot-size puddle of water. He's like, I don't want to have to walk through water every time I come into the house. And in my head, I'm like, okay, that's valid. But then whenever I ran this story by Casey, Casey made a good point. He was like, dude, you pay to live here. That's a fucking landlord problem. And I'm like, that is a fucking landlord problem.

SPEAKER_01 9:22

$50 will get squared away. That is a landlord problem. Squash the beef. Dude, squash the beef.

SPEAKER_04 9:26

That is a landlord problem. For him to take it up with his neighbor to be like, what's up with the fucking water leaking in the driveway? I'm like, dude, fuck you, bro. And I'm like, all right. Yeah. So he's like, I don't want to have to walk through water. I'm like, okay, yeah, I'll whatever. Yada yada. He moves his truck and he leaves. We go to fucking watch the soccer game. I come back like two hours later. And like the two and a half hours that I was gone, he comes back, unplugs my fucking water hose, detaches it from the house, moves it, puts a plant in front of the fucking water hose spigot so I can't plug it back up and like leaves. He doesn't even live here yet, dude. He moves it next month. So he's just coming to renovated.

SPEAKER_03 10:02

For the puddle to dry up, it takes at least a month for the dry up.

SPEAKER_04 10:04

Whenever he told me I didn't want to walk through water to get in my house in my head, I'm like, what the fuck are you gonna do when it rains, dickhead? Who are you gonna take that up with? You're gonna start off on the wrong foot with God?

SPEAKER_01 10:13

The big man upstairs. The big man upstairs. Hey, what's up with these puddles, big man?

SPEAKER_04 10:17

Dude, yeah, bro. I texted Peyton, I was like, this motherfucker, he unplugged the fucking water hose and moved our shit, yada yada. She was like, I'm gonna bake him a loaf of banana bread to start off on the wrong, the start off on the right foot. I was like, fuck him. Yeah, I've been living here for four years. This motherfucker wants to move my shit around before he moves in. Fuck this guy.

SPEAKER_01 10:36

I don't want to get off on the wrong foot, but this banana bread tastes like shit. It's disgusting.

SPEAKER_04 10:42

Dude, that would be so funny. He leaves a note on the front door. Your banana bread fucking sucked, by the way.

SPEAKER_01 10:48

He's gonna catch you on your way to work one day. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, I didn't uh I don't mean any like uh your wife's really nice. Like I love her. Oh. Tell her not to give me any more food.

SPEAKER_02 10:59

It's uh she's not a very good cook, and I don't mean anything by that. I don't mean to get off a lot of food.

SPEAKER_01 11:03

I don't want to waste any food. If she gives me more food, I'm gonna put it straight in the trash. I don't want to waste any food. Tell her to fuck off.

SPEAKER_04 11:12

Don't want to start off on the wrong foot. Dude, when he told me I don't want to start off on the wrong foot, I was like, this motherfucker better walk in a different direction than, dude. I got time, dog. I got nothing but time, dude. I mean, that's gonna be a problem, dude. Yeah, I don't want to start off on the wrong foot, but I got a fucking problem with you, dude.

SPEAKER_01 11:28

That's when you do like the fucking.

SPEAKER_02 11:29

Wait, can I tell you what I don't like about you really fast?

SPEAKER_01 11:32

It's nice to meet you. I don't like you. You bitch. No, dude, having neighbors is the worst. I live in a subdivision, and uh I've I'm in my second subdivision. This one's better than the first, whatever. Both subdivisions, I've never talked to a single neighbor one time. Once. That's the way it should be. I'll do like the hey, and like look away while I'm getting my trash cans and bring them back. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to swing with you and your wife. I don't want to fucking I don't want your kids both mine. Your kids are fucking retarded. I've seen them play outside. Uh I don't stay over there. Stay over there. I'm only here until I can get out of here. Leave me the fuck alone. You kids honestly suck at playing outside. Yeah. No imagination.

SPEAKER_04 12:12

Don't want to start off on the wrong foot, but I saw your kid hitting uh lefty. Maybe he's a righty. He's a fucking retard.

SPEAKER_01 12:18

Yeah, kids suck at playing outside nowadays. They all just kind of uh beat up white kids. Did for the most part. I'm about to beat up a white old man, bro. I mean, I'm not I'm not trying to be whitey here, but most of what I see of kids playing outside now is just uh black kids beating the shit out of like Piggy from the Lord of Flies. That's all it is, dude.

SPEAKER_04 12:38

Uh yeah. That shit did piss me off, dude. Like I'm okay, uh I'm in the same boat, dude. Like I don't want to start off on the wrong foot either, but if you haven't paid your first month of rent yet and you're already unplugging my shit, it's gonna be problems.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

Yeah, I'm like a my one of my neighbors stole my Home Depot bucket, not said anything about it. I've taken it back from his house. Uh he left it outside in his yard. I brought it back. Uh we both are terrible at mowing the grass.

SPEAKER_04 13:01

Maybe he actually thought it was his Home Depot bucket. There's not a chance. There's no way my neighbor thought that my water has been a little bit more than a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 13:06

It's a white guy with a black wife, three mixed kids. I don't think he's stepped foot in Home Depot. I think he's more of a Lowe's guy. Uh definitely not a Home Depot guy. That's my bucket. I reclaimed it. Whatever. Who gives a fuck about the bucket?

SPEAKER_04 13:18

Dude, that shit pissed me off. I was fucking working.

SPEAKER_01 13:20

Neighbors, neighbors suck, dude. Have a neighbor suck. That's why I want to move somewhere where uh like not straight up into the country, but like like acre lots where your neighbor isn't fucking your your brick is five feet apart from each other between the AC units. Yeah, like a decent amount of space.

SPEAKER_04 13:34

If it was up to me, like me and all my like me and you would like pitch in for a piece of land and just build two houses on it, I'd be cool with that.

SPEAKER_01 13:41

Let's, yeah, dude. Let's what do they call it? Uh like I forget what they call it, like sanctuaries or something where a compound. Let's build a compound. I live in a fucking nut house if I have to. Like like they get I live in a nut house. Compound check my black t-shirt something.

SPEAKER_03 13:55

You said you weren't swinging though. So a compound, I feel like that comes with the territory.

SPEAKER_01 13:59

Ah, it might. Yeah, you gotta, yeah, you gotta probably put up the.

SPEAKER_03 14:02

Well, what happened? You have to bring in a third guy. That's how you beat that. You have to bring in a third guy, you have to bring in a third couple, and then you and Alec fuck his wife. Oh, dude, true. That's we built a compound. Because otherwise, if it's just y'all two, someone's gonna y'all gonna end up fucking it's just it's gonna be a mess. So you have to you have to bring in like a like a yeah, dude. If you took my home deep, I'd be able to do that.

SPEAKER_01 14:22

God damn, my house is dirty as hell. You have to bring a sacrificial couple in, you're like, all right, yeah, he's the golly, bro.

SPEAKER_04 14:29

Yeah, neighbors, dude. Fuck neighbors.

SPEAKER_01 14:30

Fuck neighbors, dude. Neighbors, it's the most unnecessary thing where like have to be respectful of these uh respectful of these people. And it's like, I didn't ask for you to live next to me. That's what I'm saying. Dude, if you didn't want neighbors, you should have bought a piece of land. You chill at your house, I'm gonna chill with mine. If I don't bring my fucking trash can in, it's crazy, bro. It's crazy. People talking about uh there was somebody posted a picture of my cat on the neighborhood face Facebook page. Oh pussy pig. Um my cat is like half indoor, half outdoor. He's sometimes he's inside, sometimes he's outside. I don't really give a fuck. I try to keep him outside, I don't want him anymore. But some old lady posted a picture of my cat on her Facebook and said, Can somebody help me wrangle this cat so I can call animal control and get this cat out of here? And someone, like a complete stranger, commented and said, Leave that cat alone. And she said, He's scared and hungry. I'm reading this, I'm like, dude, that cat's big as hell, he's not hungry at all. And he looked at it and like, wait. I looked at it and I was like, That's Mac. That's my cat. She's gonna call animal. Is it back home since? Yeah, yeah. I'm actually getting really paranoid. He hangs out outside my house. I'm very scared someone's gonna see that it's my cat. Uh but whatever. You say he hangs out outside your house.

SPEAKER_03 15:44

Like he's got a big cat, like smoking a menthol. Yes. That's the outside. He'll hang out on my porch.

SPEAKER_01 15:50

He's probably still gonna be like, oh I'm gonna go pet Mac. He's a bad boy.

SPEAKER_03 15:55

He's been hanging out with the wrong crowd lately. We try to get to him, we try to talk to him, but he's just been hanging out with too many of those orange cats.

SPEAKER_01 16:02

Yeah, but I mean, I feel like street cats are a part of a neighborhood. I mean, it's not nothing to freak at. I mean, if there was 30 of them, I guess. I'd be annoyed. But a single cat in your backyard, I don't think is really gonna kill you. HOA sucks a cock. Neighbors suck cock. I think I'm gonna move to an island by myself or something.

SPEAKER_04 16:24

Dude, I've been throwing hands, bro. I'm I'm ready to put the paws on this guy, bro.

SPEAKER_01 16:27

You're gonna fight this guy? I can take him. You take him? How old is he?

SPEAKER_04 16:30

Uh I don't remember because whenever he said that shit, I just saw red, so I don't even know like what.

SPEAKER_01 16:36

He introduced himself instead of his age.

SPEAKER_04 16:38

No, dude, I like he didn't. Yeah, hey, I'm Mac, I'm 74. No, that's what I was thinking. I was like, no, dude. I was just saying, like, whenever he said I don't want to start off on the wrong foot, immediately he felt steam coming out of my ears.

SPEAKER_03 16:48

What was his what was his name? I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 16:50

I'm terrible with names, bro. You could fucking tell me your name at the same time. I just wouldn't remember anything about the blowjob. Like that shit. I might not even remember the blowjob. Because I'm pretty good at it. That's why. I'm terrible with names, dude. I'm so bad with names. He could have had the same name as me, and I wouldn't have remembered.

SPEAKER_03 17:08

You call Damn. You called him the he called him the wrong name to his face. That's why he's I'm gonna start doing that. That's why he's feeling like he needs to assert dominance over you.

SPEAKER_04 17:16

I assert dominance, bro. He's lucky we don't share a bathroom, bro. I'd piss longer in the urinal next to him. I'd fucking know. I don't know. I was just using fucking reference. You said Mac, that was the first time. I know an older gentleman named Mac who lives in the Paralleland. His name might be Mac, bro. He talked like Mattress Mac.

SPEAKER_01 17:31

Okay. Alright, let me know if it's him or not. Is he a big guy? I know one. Fuck no, dude. Oh.

SPEAKER_04 17:36

He's like tiny, bro. He's like Casey size.

SPEAKER_01 17:40

Does he wear like fishing shirts and jeans? No, dude.

SPEAKER_04 17:42

Okay, I don't know. I can't even tell you what he was wearing. There's a white dude with like a boxer dog. The dog was nice. He gave me licks whenever he opened the door.

SPEAKER_01 17:51

Why don't you call him real quick and ask him what he's wearing? I think you guys will be best buds.

SPEAKER_04 17:56

If he smokes weed, him and my girl will get along for sure. If he doesn't smoke weed, that's two problems I already gotta fucking figure out. He was blow you? Did he blow Did he blow me? Did he? You said you forgot his name.

SPEAKER_03 18:10

Yeah, he said you forget.

SPEAKER_04 18:13

Is that what you asked? Did he blow me?

SPEAKER_03 18:17

No, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 18:18

I don't think I that's a good one.

SPEAKER_03 18:19

Open invitation. Hey. Uh man. Well you can do upstairs neighbor shit then.

SPEAKER_04 18:25

Bro, I'm telling you, bro. That's what I told Casey. If he pisses me off enough, I'll play 12 monkeys in the bed, dude. I'll be jumping up and down all night. I don't do that.

SPEAKER_01 18:32

You should turn this get rid of this hallway, turning it into uh a bowling lane. Bowling. That'd be awesome.

SPEAKER_04 18:38

I'll put a golf stupid. That's true. Dude, just start shadow boxing with tap dancing shoes. Yeah. What a piece of shit, dude. That pissed me off so fucking bad, dude. I hate neighbors. Bro, whenever I lived at home growing up, we had like a really fucking bad neighbor. And I remember my dad like threatening to beat his ass to his face like three times. That's the fucking funniest shit. The guy was like, hey, I'm just saying you're mowing your grass too early. We're trying to put our kids to bed. Wait, too early. He's putting his kids to bed at like 7 a.m. What? No, it was like fucking. Bro, the sun was still out. Dude, what if you like maybe it was too late.

SPEAKER_01 19:21

Just to like kind of like get at him a little bit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 19:24

Alright, I gotta cut this.

SPEAKER_01 19:28

Everybody knows that. Everybody knows that. Yeah, dude. The immigration here is top notch. Scotland and Haiti. Yeah, dude. And I'll tell you what, Germany's gonna be in Houston tomorrow.

SPEAKER_04 19:38

Ooh, should I dress up like one of the uh SS soldiers and go out there and support the team? I say you blitzkrieg.

SPEAKER_01 19:44

You get a couple high fives. Blitzkrieg your fucking name. Or should I say high nines? High nines, dude fucking. You get a couple high nines out there, bro. I can't wait for the German, uh, the German to meet the Houston blacks. Uh uh they'll be conflicted for sure. That's a fucking party. I don't think they know about them. I don't think they know they exist until they're I don't think the Germans know about the blacks at all, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:03

You think they're pissed off about the Jews? Wait till they fucking find out.

SPEAKER_01 20:07

There's a group of Jews here in H Town. Uh and they hang out around the financial district if you. Where's uh is it at Energy Stadium where the where FIFA's playing in Houston? I don't know. It is? Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 20:21

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_01 20:21

It's Relying again now. It is Relying again, which I'm very glad for, but it we also kind of backtrack with the whole Dyking deal instead of Minimade. Yeah, that should be. But now we got Dyk in a set of Minimade uh here in New York. And it's oh speaking of New York, have you guys seen We've also we're not watching it, but the game five of the uh the NBA finals is on tonight. Have you guys seen what the uh who cares? It's probably already on, huh? Yeah, it is already on. This is better. Um the uh what the Knicks fans are doing to the Spurs fans in New York. Have you guys seen this? Throwing eggs? Worse. Well they did hit Wimby in the head with an egg. I wouldn't sure if that was the guys, there's like San Antonio Spurs fans going to New York to watch the game. As soon as the game ends, the Spurs fans are just like leaving the stadiums, going back to their hotels, back to their cars. Gangs and like crowds of Knicks fans are straight up just beating the fuck out of Spurs fans. Like Bro, they're up 3-1 right now. Where the fuck are they doing that for? They'll see a Spurs jersey and they go try to rip it off your back, and then they'll also like punch you and kick you while you're on the floor.

SPEAKER_04 21:33

Dude, I'll take back everything I said about wanting to be born in Haiti instead of the Middle East, though I think fucking New York might be the worst place all the time. New York's being born thumbo.

SPEAKER_06 21:43

That fucking sucks, dude.

SPEAKER_04 21:44

Yeah. What a hellhole.

SPEAKER_03 21:46

You're just trying to return home to your torta and you some guy just beats the shit out of you.

SPEAKER_04 21:51

Yeah. That fucking sucks, but you can't even rep another team, man.

SPEAKER_01 21:55

I saw a guy who was running for his life in his Spurs jersey. He was like throwing Punches while he was running. And he like did a decent job fighting everyone off, but somebody grabbed the back of his collar. Ah, horse-collar. Hold him to the ground. Horse-collar him, pulled him to the ground. I mean, you got your upstanding teenagers in New York kicking him in the head on the floor. You know they got Tim's on. Ripping the jersey. Ripping the jersey off his back. Like straight up, like uh like jumping him in, but he's just like a Spurs fan. Dude, that fucking sucks. Dude, imagine like if I went to a Cowboys game at like Rams Stadium or something, and they just like saw me and beat the fuck out of me. Like, dude, I would hate to go watch a baseball game.

SPEAKER_03 22:33

Is it like a purge? Like, do you have to like do you have to like convert on the spot? That's end of the world type shit.

SPEAKER_01 22:41

You have to pledge to being a Knicks fan. Yeah. I mean, it's it's kind of disgusting. It's end of the world type shit. It's also very funny. Like that basketball is happening like that, and then also like nobody's talking about it. It's kind of just fine. Like, oh, it's basketball, whatever. People are like getting beaten into comas in New York. It's like Mexicans from San Antonio. God, you know. That's what I'm saying. They save that's the whole life savings to go there, too.

SPEAKER_02 23:06

Wow, it's so cool.

SPEAKER_01 23:07

The lights are so bright. They go from the lights in Times Squares to like the uh lights out, hospital lights. Seeing actual stars, waking up in a coma in the hospital.

SPEAKER_05 23:18

Concrete jungle ain't no joke.

SPEAKER_01 23:20

What's nice about being from San Antonio is the only time you can really see another Mexican is if you get knocked out by a black guy, you go to the hospital, there's a Mexican nurse. Mexican Spider-Man. Just a Spurs fan that gets knocked out. Long way from home.

SPEAKER_06 23:42

That's the fucking Spurs getting that's such a good idea. Long way from home.

SPEAKER_01 23:47

Spurs fan keeps getting beat the fuck out of in New York. It's a Tubman McGuire Spider-Man suit that's all ripped up and shit when he's by the Green Goblin. It's like halfway on fire.

SPEAKER_02 24:04

You're a long way from your home. They killed my father, Willem Defoe. I'm gonna kick your fucking ass.

SPEAKER_06 24:12

Willem de Foo.

SPEAKER_03 24:14

Oh, dude, what a bit. Hey, fool. Misery, misery, misery.

SPEAKER_01 24:24

What's up, fool? It's like, Willem? He's not here. Willem de Foo? No, dude, my name's not Tad.

SPEAKER_04 24:32

Yeah, dude. I think New York might be the worst place to root for another team on the plane.

SPEAKER_01 24:37

I've said this before, I'll say it again right now. If a uh for whatever reason any type of like government official wants to reach out to Philly's bad too. That's where I'm going. Philly's bad too. If any government official ever reaches out to me and gives me, for whatever reason, gives me like puts me in charge of like a nuclear bomb. That's for sure gonna happen soon. I'm hoping. I'm hoping. I'm doing it really my campaign's going well. Um I'm dropping a bomb on Philly. Yeah, sure. Dude, I'm not going Middle East, I'm not going is how is uh is this thing on?

SPEAKER_02 25:11

Uh I'm dropping that hoe on Philly, dude. I'm fucking blowing Philly up. Everybody there, dude.

SPEAKER_01 25:19

You got an Eagles jersey on, you're done. Yeah, bro.

SPEAKER_02 25:22

Fuck that.

SPEAKER_03 25:23

It's like uh you know how um like whenever they do like a um like an airstrike? How like they throw like the laser? Yeah, like like the laser or like the uh the smoke. The smoke is like Philly eagles green.

SPEAKER_02 25:38

Yeah, drop it on the Keller Green smoke.

SPEAKER_03 25:46

Got that leave it in.

SPEAKER_01 25:49

My bad, guys.

SPEAKER_02 25:51

I'll leave it in. Who gives a fucking? I can't leave it in. That's my bad.

SPEAKER_01 25:54

I didn't I didn't mean to say that part of it. I was going somewhere good with that and I fucked it off. Uh you're gonna do that on stage one day. Oh, I will, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_05 26:04

Yo, you ripped the band-aid off.

SPEAKER_01 26:06

Dude, like uh We did it all. We all three of us. Huey's been ripped the band aid off. Me and Alec did it. Huey did it also with us. It was very fun. I uh we went to two places. The first place I went to, I got too scared, and I sat outside. I took a shot and I drink a beer. I called my mom and I said, Hey, my friends are in here doing this. Uh I saw I saw the people going upstairs, they look like normal people. I thought it was all gonna be freaks. I can't perform in front of normal people.

SPEAKER_04 26:33

Dude, normal people is better than performing in front of instead of freaks, dude.

SPEAKER_01 26:36

I'd rather perform in front of the freaks.

SPEAKER_04 26:37

I like the freak.

SPEAKER_01 26:38

Oh, I like the both, but I like the freaks. Dude, I saw like blonde ladies walking upstairs. Dude, that's I walked in. You told me I made the thing and I saw three blonde ladies walk upstairs. Immediately I turned around and went to the bar.

SPEAKER_04 26:48

Dude, bro, it was so funny, dude. I was sitting upstairs. I have your location. That's what I'm scared of. Dude, I had I saw that.

SPEAKER_01 26:54

I thought about lying to you, and I was like, yeah, he's gonna know.

SPEAKER_04 26:57

I was like, if I turn off my location, he's gonna know. I had Casey's location. He had an Uber to the fucking to the comedy club because he got off work late. He gets there, they call us, and they're like, or they they give out the list or whatever. We all three made the cut. Like, we have to do a set, right? I start texting Casey because I see he pulls up and I started texting him, I was like, hey, come upstairs, like I got you a beer. Uh we have to all three do a set. We all made the list, yada yada. Dude, 20 minutes goes by, he doesn't respond. I like triple text him, doesn't respond. Bro, I called his ass, doesn't respond. And I'm like, bro, what the fuck is he? I know he's here. I have his location. What is he doing? Bro, like 30 minutes goes by, he finally texts me. He's like, dude, I'm kind of freaking the fuck out right now. I don't know what to do. I went to the bar, I tried to get drunk, I ordered shots, I chugged a beer. Like, can I give you some insight?

SPEAKER_01 27:41

Yeah. I got there, I saw the blonde ladies walking up, and I turned around and said, What the fuck am I doing here? I went to the bar, I got uh beer, and I got a double shot of vodka. And I went and I sat at a table, I took the shot of vodka, I started coughing everywhere. So then I went outside and I was like, I was really like, dude, what am I doing? I'm embarrassing myself, and I'm not even on stage, like I'm coughing everywhere off the shot. I had to go outside. I go sit down and then like I guess the comics that went on before, for whatever reason, they decide it's two people, they sit on both sides of me and are having a conversation this way in front of my face. So I'm like drunk, and I'm like, I gotta get up and move. But then I'm also drunk and I'm like, how do I get up and move normally? I get up and I trip over an extension cord that's like plugging in a light or something, and I move, and then I immediately I'm like, I gotta call my mom. And I call my mom, she's like, hey, what's up? I was like, I'm at the comedy club.

SPEAKER_02 28:37

She was like, Oh yeah, I remember you said you were gonna do that. How's it going? Did you do good? And I was like, I gave up already, like I didn't even do it. And I was like, I don't know what to do, mom.

SPEAKER_04 28:47

I don't know what to do. I just I feel like you want to pick immediately.

SPEAKER_01 28:51

See, I'm talking to my mom, and uh she's like, Oh, you can do it, you can do it. Uh and I'm telling her, like, I'm supposed to be doing it right now. My friends are upstairs. They told me they bought me a beer. Uh like they're expecting me upstairs, and she's like, Well, maybe just go on at the next place. And I was like, I'm gonna do that. And she gave me this like whole pep talk, and I got hopped up, like hyped up outside. I was like, Yeah, I'm gonna do the next place, I'm gonna do the next place. And then uh I proceeded to get so drunk that uh by the time I got to the next place I I had 20 seconds of material, and yeah, yeah. I got way too drunk with the shots and the beers, dude. I got uh I still had fun. It was a good time. I it wasn't I didn't do as well as uh I wanted to, but I I had fun and I got uh like I'm not scared to do it anymore, especially at the place where I did it. Um the first place, I'll probably wait a few months to go on there. No, dude, no, I'm gonna I need to build myself up there. Bro, don't rip the band-aid off, bro. No, no, no, no. I I like the secret group. I'm gonna go there. I'm gonna build up like a solid if I can work on they give you three minutes. If I can work on three minutes, then I can have a really, really nice one minute. Like I I don't wanna go over there and like I don't want to work my way through a 40-person crowd. I'd rather work my way through a 10-person crowd, figure out what 10 people will laugh at. Gotta work my way up. And then also, like, I have like I'm like a little bit socially awkward, so like it helps me with less people there. And then also the people there at that late at night, like I think I could go up there and say anything, and uh like those people are laughing at everything. There was stuff that wasn't funny that was said that was laughed at. That's fair. That's bro. That's the place where I can I can build up my confidence on stage. But if it's funny, if it's funny or not, but I don't I don't want to go on stage in front of 40 people and be awkward. I want to get comfortable on stage before I go up in front of 40. First of all, it was like 60 at least. Certainly not. I was in the I was in the back of the room. Dude, it was definitely at least. You're not gonna lie to me. I did go to the bar. There's people up against the basket wall, there's people in the bar.

SPEAKER_04 30:53

There's people like sitting right there. It's definitely like 60.

SPEAKER_01 30:55

No, maybe maybe 50, including comics. That was the fullest room I've done.

SPEAKER_04 30:59

How many people do you think it was, Huey? Uh let's say 50.

SPEAKER_01 31:02

I've seen that place in a full house and there wasn't 60 people there. We'll call it 55. That's where I go to watch comedy. But you've got a remote off.

SPEAKER_03 31:10

I did I just like the idea that like what set Casey off was like seeing those girls go upstairs. It's like the verbal meme of like Casey.

SPEAKER_01 31:17

Dude, I saw like SUC blondes go upstairs. I was like, I'm not, I'm not gonna go perform up there at all.

SPEAKER_03 31:23

Casey and like an like an NFL draft picks family handshake emoji, terrified of white blonde ladies.

SPEAKER_01 31:31

Dude, I live with one and I'm still scared of them. I'm scared of the one I live with. She has the potential to ruin my fucking life. If I mess up on here, if we post the wrong thing, oh dude, God forbid. She wants to come to one of my things so bad. And I I got to tell, like I told her, like, they expected three minutes out of me. You expect two minutes out of me. I can't even do that. Come on, that's finishing early.

SPEAKER_03 31:56

No, you did like a minute 30 uh in dude, like the like your your joke was good. Like your joke was good. It was a very, very good joke, and like it landed that well, and and you didn't even deliver it as well as I've heard you deliver that joke. So that's how it's it's just straight up. Like, you can go a long way just by being a better writer than a lot of people.

SPEAKER_01 32:14

There's like a lot of people I blacked out like on adrenaline. That's why when I got off, I came up to Alec and I said, like, did I get laps? Because I had no idea. Like, I remember like the premise of what I said, but I like I have no recollection, and not from like drunkness, because I remember everything else from that night. Um it was just being on stage. From the stage time, I like I can't like I don't have a memory of me being on stage like firsthand, like it goes by quick, dude. Yeah, like I I blacked out from a journalist.

SPEAKER_04 32:41

Bro, I went when I would did the when I did the ride. I went up there and like when they when they were told me like I was out of time, I was like, fuck, I I have like 30 more seconds that I could do. I was like, damn it. And I was like, all right, that's my time, and I like walked off. I was like, Yeah, it went by like that. Like it was so quick.

SPEAKER_01 32:54

Dude, I'm down to do I'm I'll hit the secret group every Wednesday if y'all are down. I'll go every Wednesday for as long as it has.

SPEAKER_03 33:00

That's when I usually go. I I've been going Sunday or Monday nights and Wednesdays.

SPEAKER_01 33:05

I'm not gonna hit the I'm not gonna hit the riot for at least like a month or two. I wanna I really wanna just I'll do the riot again. I I want to get comfortable on stage before I go up on the riot. Just because I'm I'm I'm not I'm not like you guys where I can like I'm not public, I'm not a public speaker. In high school, all the presentations I took zeros on. Like this is the being funny part is like cool, but the being funny in front of people thing is like it's new. Like I've not done that before. I've done it for you guys. Like it's my friends. I do, I to an extent I do. Because you kept telling me you're like, dude, I'm gonna wing it.

SPEAKER_04 33:41

You're like, I'm gonna go there, I'm gonna wing it. I'm like, dude, don't do that.

SPEAKER_03 33:43

You have like you have material written, that's what was fucking crazy to me.

SPEAKER_01 33:46

I have a well, I I come across funny ideas, and if it's funny enough in my head where I can like take a few alleys down, I'll put it in my notes. But then I get home from work, and then I've got the kid, I've got dinner, and then I've got a shower, and then it's fucking 11 o'clock, I gotta be up at six.

SPEAKER_04 34:00

Like it, I but if you could just write 10 minutes a day, you could figure bro. If you write 10 minutes a day in a week, you'll have four or five minutes.

SPEAKER_01 34:06

That's the trouble I have with writing, is I look at this idea and I say, Yeah, this is a funny idea.

SPEAKER_04 34:10

Yeah, but like to write, I've gotta get drunk, and I like a but you like when you're out there and you know after like 30 seconds, you went uh you said, damn, I'm up here for another two minutes and 30 fucking seconds. Alright, what the fuck? Like people laughed at that too. So like your delivery is good.

SPEAKER_01 34:26

I think being awkward helps me a little bit to where I've got like the uh Do you have like Mark Norman? The same way that like Michael Sarah's funny. Yeah, I can be funny in that funny. Well, I don't know. I think Michael Sarah's pretty funny.

SPEAKER_04 34:38

Dude, no, you're fucking bro. Casey, I'm telling you, you're the funniest fucking person I know. I'm telling you, you could do it.

SPEAKER_03 34:43

I think Michael Sarah's more accurate than Mark Norman. Mark Norman just has like awkward gestures because he's autistic.

SPEAKER_01 34:49

But Michael, no, I'm fucking. Casey don't fucking sit here and say I'm you're gonna sue me down. I'm gonna kill myself. Casey, you are. Stop saying I'm autistic. If you tell me I'm autistic again, I'm like, if I find out I'm autistic, I'm gonna kill myself. I'm not being autistic, dude. I'm not, I'm a regular guy. I've got so many problems in my own head about myself. If I find out I'm autistic, that's it. I don't have room for anything else wrong with me, man. I'm fucking, that's it. It's a struggle. I'm not being autistic, I'm not being black. I'm not gay, I'm not black, I'm not, I'm not autistic. Uh I'm none of the I'm there's I've got enough on my plate. There's arguments to be made for all those. Of all those, you believe that. I feel up my gas $15 at a time. So it might be black. I don't know, dude. You know, I might be Mexican too. I drink them every day. After work. Who knows, dude? That might be my actually I know that I am Mexican. My great grandma's actually. I might be Hispanic. Well, literally, you guys came to my daughter's birthday. I think I just got drunk with you guys. Your dog is.

SPEAKER_04 35:56

You said you came at your daughter's birthday.

SPEAKER_01 35:59

Did you?

SPEAKER_04 36:05

Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 36:06

Who knows, dude? I mean, who the fucking knows? I'm gonna keep on trying it. I'll I'll get good at it when I'm gonna do it.

SPEAKER_03 36:12

Honestly, I we should stop like giving it because I'm not gonna do it.

SPEAKER_04 36:15

No, we don't secretly just trying to give him enough advice to do the riot because I think he could do good at the riot. I think I think he keeps saying, like, oh, I want to do a couple months until I should do the riot. Bro, do the riot. But that's what I'm gonna do.

SPEAKER_03 36:25

I'd rather him do secret group every Wednesday and like than not at all, though. Like if anything like that. That's what I'm comfortable with with. I could keep doing Wednesday shit.

SPEAKER_01 36:32

Yeah, and then follow up at Secret Group, we'll meet Casey there. It's easier for me to show up later. Like, I've got the kid, I've got to get off work, I've got the kid at dinner. Like, it's easier for me to show up at the time I did. Even if I get off late, I can be there at that time. If I get off early, I can spend time with my family and then be there at that time. That makes sense. And then once I get comfortable, I can say, okay, I can go on out the ride. This is nothing now. Like I can get to a point where I can be like confident and I can go up there and I can do my because if I go up there in front of 60 people, my jokes that are funny are gonna sound like it's not gonna be fun. My delivery is gonna be retarded and it's gonna suck.

SPEAKER_03 37:05

It's it is a good crowd in the sense that like a lot of those people who are in that their industry, their work service, they're like they're bartenders, they're waiters working late and shit like that. Maybe drug dealers, I don't know. But it's still like a like a lot of time like a good crowd fun to fuck with. There was like one time I was up there and like this guy like looked like he was like looking to start shit with somebody. On stage? No, like he was like in the audience, and he just like kind of like looked like he was he bald?

SPEAKER_04 37:30

Nah, he was just uh was it the dude that went on after me?

SPEAKER_03 37:34

No, no, no, no, fuck that guy.

SPEAKER_04 37:36

Did you hear that shit too?

SPEAKER_03 37:38

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 37:38

Oh yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:38

I was back. I didn't even hear it.

SPEAKER_01 37:40

That guy heard strange shit about him backstage. He heard me. And he made a comment. That guy, yeah. I was like, I was gonna beat that guy's ass. I didn't even hear it.

SPEAKER_04 37:50

I didn't know about this until Peyton told me afterwards.

SPEAKER_01 37:54

Yeah, that guy, he was pulling. It's hard to tell if he like does this so much where he pulled like cards against humanity to try like I'm just gonna see if I can do some shit on the spot and be funny, or if he's like straight up just a fucking retarded bald wide counter's like, this would be a funny idea. I couldn't figure that out. No, I I I would see him there like every Wednesday that I that I don't know. So he's trying to, he's working out by pulling cards against humanity.

SPEAKER_04 38:18

So wait, okay, so did he because bro, I'm he's a fucking hack. He's a bald but like I still really don't know what he said. Peyton like didn't reiterate like everything he said like up on stage. Did he go up there and just make fun of me? Or like what he called you a faggot.

SPEAKER_03 38:36

And he did like three, like more or less just like making like it about like your guy free. Really?

SPEAKER_04 38:41

Yeah, that's kind of sick. If that was my first time going up there and the next guy just had nothing to talk about but mindset, that's pretty that's a good sign.

SPEAKER_01 38:49

He never has anything to talk about though. Yeah, it's my okay, so he's like gonna dog out your wife, you're a faggot. Did he really say all that shit?

SPEAKER_03 38:57

Yeah, did he really say all that shit? There was uh he he made There's your answer. What do you say? You say dog out your wife. That's that is like the hands no I'm gonna do that. That's what he was saying.

SPEAKER_01 39:08

Because he heard me say, like, I don't want to give this guy so much fucking air time.

SPEAKER_03 39:12

Because like I could we could talk about this off camera because I I've been around this guy like a.

SPEAKER_01 39:16

I didn't realize how theater kids stand-up comedy was.

SPEAKER_03 39:20

Was it the green?

SPEAKER_01 39:22

Like it's a lot of the people in it are like the gay weirdos who hung out with that really hot girl who would like uh uh theater kid. Like uh it reminds me of uh we'll cut this name, but fucking f yeah, yeah. I don't know how to do it. Gay, but not but like has his way into the thing where he is gay also. How are you?

SPEAKER_04 39:49

I don't mind the gay theater chill. I'm pretty sure he fucked my ex-girlfriend. He did.

SPEAKER_01 39:52

I told you he did. I told you that he told me he did. He told me he told me in confidence he got drunk and he told me that he did, and uh the next day I texted. I told you this. Why did you tell me this? The next day, I texted you. I think I told you in person. I think I saw you. I was at a block and I was at a nest's house and uh we got fucked up and it was like, hey, don't tell Alec, but whatever he thinks happened, happened.

SPEAKER_02 40:16

Yes, and then I told him I cut all these names out, but then the next day I was like, hey, whatever you think happened, happened. What a from who's out of like your ex got fucked by a gay guy?

SPEAKER_04 40:26

Dude, my ex got fucked by every guy. She weren't fucked. I was hitting that shit right, dude. I was hitting that shit right, but so was everybody else. You know who's hitting the fucking side? Well, she was just for the squad. She's just an easy toy. She was for the team, dude. She was for the squad.

SPEAKER_01 40:41

Well, I the only person that's hitting it better than somebody that's hitting it right is somebody who fucks assholes on the regular. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, if you're fucking buttholes on the reg, you just gotta be decent. Yeah, well, because he's I mean, if you got a small dick and you're fucking beeholes, kind of just like taking a shit. If I mean, yeah. I mean, there's a difference in like when you take a good shit, it's like, wow, like I really needed this. You take a regular shit, it's like, all right, let's get this shit over with. I'd imagine that's kind of like uh girls fucking.

SPEAKER_04 41:12

I'm not saying I'm mad because I'm not, but I did know. You you you're saying I knew because I know she fucked like four other guys.

SPEAKER_03 41:18

You're saying, you're saying this guy by fucking guys, he leveled up in his pussy game. Is that what I'm gathering?

SPEAKER_01 41:24

He might have, uh he didn't say he might have fucked her in the ass. He didn't say whether he went vague lead. He might tell me that. This might have still been gay sex.

SPEAKER_03 41:36

He's like, well, that's still be Junior. Like, well, I don't even go in there. Yeah. He's like, you might as well have just gone into like it's a fucking poopo loophole. We've never been to Virginia. That's like if a guy did a B and E but he only went into your attic, and you're like, I don't even go up there. Yeah, dude. I think he I think uh I had an attic.

SPEAKER_02 41:55

What do you mean? I'm not gonna lie. I think that uh the gay guy had gay sex with their girlfriend. Fuck, dude. Dude, that's not cheating, bro.

SPEAKER_01 42:02

He owns me. Now that I think about it, if your girlfriend cheats on you with a gay guy and gets fucked in the ass, she had gay sex. That's the same thing as her like scissoring. If your girlfriend has anal with a gay guy, it's the same thing as a scissoring.

SPEAKER_04 42:14

That's just fishing with different bait, dude.

SPEAKER_01 42:15

That's not a thing. I don't know, dude. I mean, if you live with a girlfriend for so long, you start to like uh you live with her long enough to uh I didn't live with taking short at all. We were like 17. Like I've I've lived with Kinsey long enough to wear like anal's off the table. Like I've anal's never off the table, buddy. No, dude. I've smelled the shit that she drops. I'm not going there. Uh if a gay guy wants to go there, what do I care? I don't know. I smell the shit that Peyton drops every day. I still go there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 42:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:46

I mean, dude, who gives a fuck?

SPEAKER_04 42:49

You're not- You don't love your wife if you're not.

SPEAKER_03 42:51

You just you just scrutinize her diet a little more. Like it's uh Would you guys let a gay guy fuck your dog? Maybe throw in a cliff bar. All right? Maybe a little fiber wouldn't hurt you. Okay?

SPEAKER_04 42:58

Yeah, dude, loosen up a little bit. I'll leave, bro. Fuck your dog, he said.

SPEAKER_03 43:04

Would you let a gay guy fuck your dog?

SPEAKER_04 43:06

If you know a gay guy, he can fuck my downstairs neighbor's dog. I'll tell you that much right now. I'm trying to piss that fucker off. And then I'll bring the water hose inside and help him spray down whatever mess he left.

SPEAKER_03 43:15

Oh, he got a boxer? I'm a boxer too. I knew the gay guy once.

SPEAKER_05 43:26

I knew the gay guy at once. Great guy. We gave him a terrible lover.

SPEAKER_01 43:32

Good guy. Yeah, his Mohammed. Shit, I'm assues. We stopped talking.

SPEAKER_04 43:40

I started reading a book today, Huey. Are you proud of me?

SPEAKER_01 43:43

Yeah. What did you read? The book of Eli?

SPEAKER_04 43:47

Yeah, no, it's Kama Sutra, dude. Kama Sutra? Fuck no, dude. I told you I started reading the road. You know, the inner colour. Cor Cormac McCarthy? Yeah, Cormac McCarthy. Same guy that left the No Country for Old Men. Blood uh Blood Meridian, too. Yeah. Have you read The Road yet? Uh have you seen the movie at least? No, I haven't done either. Both are depressing as fuck. Don't watch either. He's that type of rider. Dude, the I watched The Road. Um I love post-apocalyptic movies. And like The Road is like a post-apocalyptic movie. It's like it's like the utter like theme of the entire movie. It's just no hope. Zero hope. It's not like Walking Dead where it's like, oh, these zombies are slow, we'll live forever. Like we'll die of old age in this apocalypse movie. No, dude, it's like zero hope, bro. It's like everyone wants to rape and kill you and eat you, and you're dying of starvation at the same time.

SPEAKER_02 44:41

That was Europe?

SPEAKER_04 44:43

What?

SPEAKER_02 44:43

Europe? No? It's based off of modern days.

SPEAKER_03 44:49

Everyone's wearing Knicks jerseys in this reality San Antonio Spurs fan. That's what the road's about. It's about being a Spurs fan in the U.S. Don't tell anybody. He's like that's like one of Stephen King's favorite authors. Is it really? Yeah. Yeah. Like like he's he's always been in the game a long time. So like uh like I I imagine his portrayal of like a shitty post-apocalyptic world where you're like, why doesn't everyone just kill themselves?

SPEAKER_04 45:32

Yeah, dude, and that's kind of like what the I don't want to spoil it for either of y'all, but like it's kind of like around like suicide as an option, but there's a reason why he never does it.

SPEAKER_01 45:43

Is there some kind of like vaccine where everything's gonna make it okay?

SPEAKER_04 45:47

I'm telling you, there's no hope. Like in this book, like in this movie, there's no hope. So it's like killing yourself would be doing you a favor in this movie.

SPEAKER_01 45:56

Kind of like like uh Haiti versus Scotland.

SPEAKER_04 45:58

Exactly. It's literally the road is based off of Haiti versus Scotland in the World Cup.

SPEAKER_01 46:03

That's kind of what I figured. I've been watching this game and I've been thinking uh I'm saying, but if I was around for 77 minutes, it's one-nothing.

SPEAKER_04 46:09

Soccer fucking sucks.

SPEAKER_01 46:10

It absolutely does not suck. You know why? Because Haiti's been doing shit all for seven minutes.

SPEAKER_04 46:16

And Scotland's been doing one point better than shit all. That fucking sucks. Yes, but a goal changes this whole thing. Bro, in football, in football, you go against a dog shit team, you put up 70 points. In baseball, you go against the top dog shit the team, it's fucking six home runs, 15 runs. You just prove yourself wrong. In soccer, it's one point.

SPEAKER_01 46:34

Somebody can play a perfect game and be up one-zero, and one-one can destroy a perfect game to where the everybody on your team can play perfect, but that other goal that makes it one-one destroys all the narratives where like so-and-so play good, so-and-so play good. Soccer's so bad that at the end of the game.

SPEAKER_04 46:50

Nobody gets more depth and soccer. Hold on, hold on, dude. Soccer is so bad that at the end of the game, if the score is one-one and nobody can win, they said, fuck it, everybody line up, everyone gets 10 free shots to score a goal because nobody can in the actual game. Everyone gets free kicks. Everyone gets free kicks. I'm not gonna. When you stand 12 feet away from a gigantic goal to gig a free goal, it sucks.

SPEAKER_01 47:10

There's a bit of uh contradiction there in the new uh overtime rules. Uh, especially college football starts off at a 20-yard line, and uh they get a couple tries to score a touchdown. It's literally the same thing. And uh the NFL is gonna adapt that rule because the overtime games suck ass in the NFL. They want to make it more exciting.

SPEAKER_04 47:28

It's crazy to see like a country that has no food or electricity and they have enough energy to run for 90 minutes. That's kind of insane.

SPEAKER_01 47:34

Well, yeah, they came to America, they give them bananas and coconuts. Oh, they stood at the fucking uh hotel before breakfast. Yeah. Complimentary breakfast for uh the Haitian team here. They they're actually playing bad because their bellies are so full from the complimentary breakfast.

SPEAKER_04 47:50

This is the first time they ever had to play this game like that. They've never had pancakes before.

SPEAKER_01 47:54

Their room and board was that Golden Corral? The Belgian waffles have the Haitians bloated.

SPEAKER_04 48:01

Every four years, the athletes of your country get the feast off some room.

SPEAKER_01 48:04

Yeah, you got the Scots who had straight up fucking raw potatoes for uh breakfast today. They have a black pudding or whatever. Yeah, I don't know. Black or white pudding, I don't know. I'm not really into race.

SPEAKER_04 48:18

English breakfast or Scottish breakfast or whatever? English breakfast. English breakfast, that's just taking a fucking uh Pakistanis knife to the mouth.

SPEAKER_01 48:27

Yeah, I mean, you're not lying nowadays. It is. I'm a big fan of Mexican breakfast. I really like a breakfast taco. That's I prefer that much more than a knife to the mouth. Oh, you Haitians. Come on, now that's a slur in itself, Haitian. Haitian? Is that a slur? Haitians. I've been Haitianly waiting. Hey, I've been Haitianly waiting.

SPEAKER_04 48:49

Haitiently waiting. That's going to be. Oh, who's that? Is that Donald?

SPEAKER_05 48:52

Is that the title?

SPEAKER_04 48:54

Haitiently waiting. Just waiting until it's a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 49:03

Though I've I've bet Scottish here. So uh if you if you watch the podcast regularly, you can follow me in my betting journey to taking $50 to as much money as possible. I'm down 87. Uh if Scotland wins, I'll be up 60. Funding your mail campaign. Yeah. Polymarket. Also, polymarket, how about you scousers fucking me out at $36? You fucking fucks. I bet on uh the Qatar game earlier for a tie. Qatar ties it in the 80th minute. Polymarket goes down. The app's not working anymore. They're not paying out any bets. That's cutter. Yeah. My uh cutter.

SPEAKER_04 49:46

Yeah, it's the name of the country.

SPEAKER_01 49:47

I barely know her. Obvious. Obvious.

SPEAKER_04 49:53

That's every Muslim's fucking cutter.

SPEAKER_03 50:00

I know so little about Qatar, but like just when I think of Qatar, I know I imagine a place that I'm more of a drums guy. Well done. Well played, sir. Thank you. I had to get it in before it passed. I'm sorry to interrupt you. I feel like guitar is like a place that like if you accidentally give someone the wrong directions by accident, like they'll cut your hand off.

SPEAKER_04 50:20

Yeah, dude. It's a fucking thing.

SPEAKER_03 50:22

You should have her hand off.

SPEAKER_04 50:24

It's like wearing a Spurs jersey in New York, bro. They'll beat the fuck out of you.

SPEAKER_03 50:28

You should have thought better. Honestly. That was kind of fucked up how you told them to go the wrong way by accident. Yeah. Guitar your head off.

SPEAKER_01 50:37

Cut her head off. Hey, I didn't say it. Hey, did oh, I was about to say the N-word. I thought Hey Shad Squirt. We're all good.

SPEAKER_03 50:48

Scarlin's okay. Uh that Casey, I always say he missed on one of the funniest bits of the night uh by not going upstairs. That one guy who had the bit about working for an Indian like sneakerhead. Like he worked, I think he said he was from Chicago. Sneakerhead off her shoulders?

SPEAKER_01 51:06

That's almost anything I've ever heard.

SPEAKER_03 51:07

No, I he he he's a he worked, he worked, uh, he worked at like a like a like a like a boutique like shoe store in Chicago, and the owner was uh was the Indian guy who was like and he was like one of those people like he was like Indian guy who like just gave himself the N-word pass. He was a nav I saw he was doing a he was doing a whole like this black guy was doing a very, very because he worked for this guy. He was doing an impression of his old boss and like doing an Indian accent very well, but he just keeps dropping the N-word. He's like he's like he's like, we'd let him say it. Like that's another thing I was saying.

SPEAKER_01 51:44

Speaking English is the funniest, funniest thing ever. I saw a video earlier. It was uh it was some lady who was making a video and it was the line the the topic was you farted in front of this person and she responds in white, black, yeah, Chinese, and Indian. She's like, why are you making farting? What the fuck? Why are you making farting? Oh my god. Oh my god, bro. That's med like shit. What are you making? Whoa, what the fuck is that noise? Are you making farting? What the fuck are you doing? That's not Indian at all. I'm rolling ours like a first one, the first one sounded like Bay Area Latino, like like Bay Area Latino.

SPEAKER_03 52:23

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 52:26

What the fuck are you doing? What the fuck are you doing? Why the fuck did you better your money in Baracco, babe? What the fuck are you doing? No Brazil is so good.

SPEAKER_03 52:38

You just talk like Mexican OT. Just roll everything. I've been thinking a lot about Nepo babies. Nepo babies? I'm Loki, nepotism, alright. I if I'm the recipient, I'm all for it. If I'm not, I something's afoot. I don't like it at all. Yeah. Uh as far as it it is interesting that we touched on it previous episodes, but it feels like, you know, a lot of actors were like it was like like subtle nepotism. Like, alright, someone's uncle was a producer, or maybe they were like a high up in like a you know, in like a marketing firm or something like that. Um they had some kind of ties to the industry, whereas like now it's just straight up like the leading man and the leading woman had a fucking like daughter. Yeah, like the fucking uh Maya Hawk. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_04 53:36

Ethan Hawk and Luma Thurman.

SPEAKER_03 53:38

And it got me thinking of like who are if we're gonna choose like ones that are actually good though, like who are like the the best Nepo babies in Hollywood under 40? And so I'm gonna run down this list and just just get you guys thoughts. Alright, so starting off uh Wyatt Russell, Kurt Russell's kid. He's like Captain uh he was like the the Captain America spin-off on character.

SPEAKER_01 54:08

Was that in uh uh the new Marvel movie with the shadow guy?

SPEAKER_03 54:13

Yeah, the Thunderbirds or whatever the fuck what's it called? Thunderbolts, yeah. Thunderbolts, yeah. He's been in uh bad. Yeah, the first time I ever saw him, he was in Black Mirror. He was in a Black Mirror episode. It was like one of the That was like the only episode of Black Mirror I ever saw while I was like on an edible. It scared the shit out of me.

SPEAKER_01 54:30

Every episode I've seen of uh Black Mirror, I was high.

SPEAKER_03 54:33

I haven't watched it since I was so I associate just Wyatt Russell's face with fucking utter terror.

SPEAKER_04 54:39

Dude, Black Mirror sounds like so scary to watch high. I mean, yeah, imagine being black and looking into a mirror. It's gotta be scary. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:47

You're mugging me, you're me. How are you gonna mug me? Whatever.

SPEAKER_03 54:53

Uh Zoe Kravitz, I forget, dude. She's great.

SPEAKER_01 54:58

That's that's a great lipo baby because the way she's catwoman. Catwoman. And also, dude, it's a great baby. Huge, huge, huge Linny Kravitz fan, dude. Yeah. Lenny Kravitz has some fucking bang or something. I like Linny. I don't even, and you know what's the craziest thing? I don't even know who he fucked. I don't know who her mom is. No. But uh, all for it, dude. Zoe Kravitz, your dad gives you the sure. You get along. Yeah. Citizen for sure. Great. Yeah, no, I fuck with Zoe. You can play on the U.S. national team if you wanted to. You can't fuck with Zoe. Promise you.

SPEAKER_04 55:29

So far, I'm gonna put her in second place. I don't know who's the first one.

SPEAKER_01 55:32

I'm putting her at one so far. So he uh Zoe, I'm putting it on.

SPEAKER_04 55:35

Not behind Maya Hawk, but like just in general, because I don't know who else is on this list.

SPEAKER_03 55:39

I'm gonna go out of order here because it's good. I want to challenge your number one. Bill Scarsgaard. There's a lot of them. Uh, what's the one?

SPEAKER_01 55:47

Uh what's the one? Did you watch Succession? He's the Pennyweiss one. Oh, fuck. Okay, not that one. That's not what's the what's the one that's a little bit older who was in Succession as like the Swedish billionaire? Uh you know what I'm talking about?

SPEAKER_03 55:59

Uh not Stellan. Stellan's the dad. Uh he's in a bunch of he's in Alexander Zoolander. Alexander, he was in Atlanta. Yes. He was in Atlanta playing uh uh Loki playing um what the the action that played the um that one's he's he's playing Army Hammer, whatever that Army Hammer scandal shit was going on with him actually secretly being a psycho, he would that was what he was supposed to be.

SPEAKER_01 56:20

I really think he's the best, and what what sold me on that was his very small role in succession where he's talking to Roman, uh they're they're in like the Swiss Alps or whatever, and he's like, Yeah, success doesn't thrill me anymore. Like he's talking about gay corporate shit. That that's all different me. That was I think he's the best. I mean, the other one's got all the horrors, like uh Pennywise, he's got the uh the other shit. Um what else? He's in uh what's uh that one movie The Barbarian. Yep. He's got the barbarian, he's got Pennywise. He's I mean, he's kind of solidified himself as like a horror movie guy. But I like his older brother more, and I think his older brother is also in Neppo, no?

SPEAKER_03 57:07

Oh, it's like someone brought up like it it is like yeah, yes, because the one who like who like you know led the whole thing. And he's a really good actor. He was in uh uh Baron Harkonnen in Dune. The bald guy. Yeah, he played the serial killer in that uh Daniel Craig um uh it's like a thriller movie. Uh Knives Out? No, not Knives Out. He might actually Daniel Craig thriller? Daniel Craig thriller movie where uh they're like kinda trying to solve like a murder mystery, and it turns out Stellan Skarsgard is like a full ass.

SPEAKER_01 57:47

Glass Onion? Uh is it in the Knives Out universe at all?

SPEAKER_03 57:51

No, it is not.

SPEAKER_01 57:52

That's the only Daniel Craig I know of murder mystery.

SPEAKER_04 57:54

I literally only know him as uh Penny Weiss. I don't know him in anything else.

SPEAKER_03 57:57

No, uh Stellin Scar is so Bill Skarsgard was Pennyweiss, and Stellan Skarsgard is like his father. That's the one that plays Baron?

SPEAKER_04 58:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 58:05

Okay, I only know him from old movie from Dune. Um who else? Lulu Rose Depp, Nosferatu. Johnny Depp's daughter.

SPEAKER_01 58:15

I never watched that movie. Me neither. I saw the faces she made. I'm gonna put her at last place. Um I'm gonna put her at last place on my personal list. I'm gonna put her at third place on the things I like to look at list. I won't I won't uh tell you guys what I like to look at list uh is. But I do like to look at that. I like to see it. Very cool, very nice. Who's next? Alright. I'm waiting for fucking uh polymarker to pay me my fucking money still.

SPEAKER_03 58:53

Emma Roberts? Yeah, well she's uh she's related to Julia Roberts. No way, really? Julia just like you know, megastar. I'll fuck with Emma Stone.

SPEAKER_01 59:05

I'm still I got Zoe A1 still because she's been very not only does she look the way she looks, she also is very good in her roles, and also Lenny Kravitz is her dad. Uh cool guys, your dad is hard to beat as Nepo baby, and she's doing the best job so far. Insane genetics, also.

SPEAKER_03 59:22

Just like I bro.

SPEAKER_01 59:24

Yeah, I mean she's got the Blazion thing going.

SPEAKER_03 59:27

Dude is shredded still. Yeah, you brought up a good point. Like, I have no idea who the fuck her mom is.

SPEAKER_01 59:32

I don't, I know Lenny Kravitz is uh, dude. Lenny Kravitz, I get in a certain mood. Uh Lenny Kravitz is he's on the radio. Um that's it's nice. Margaret Quali. That's the one. Um Margaret Quali. Once upon a time in Hollywood.

SPEAKER_04 59:51

I might have her at one, dude. I don't know who her mama is. Well, who is how is she in Neppo?

SPEAKER_03 59:56

She's uh both her parents are actors. I've got Zoey. Andy McDowell and Paul Quali.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:00

Yeah, I'll fuck with Margaret Quali. I'll fuck with the Zoe. Margaret Quali.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:04

Um John John David Washington. Nope. He's got some good roles. He does. This is Denzel's boy. Yeah. Yeah. He's got a couple good movies. Is he not is he is that I mean, I can get in real racist trouble here, but is that not the guy in the F1 movie?

SPEAKER_03 1:00:24

That is not. That is I just help his son. Cut that two days. All right, John David Washington is uh is that uh that's in the equalizer movie. Black Klansman. Black Klansman. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:38

Okay, we'll put him at three just because he's in some uh some more I don't remember the order. No.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:44

Uh Tenant. He was in Tenant. Uh oh, okay, okay, okay. He was in that robot movie that I thought it was kind of made, but it wasn't his fault. Let's put him at two.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:52

Because if I don't know enough about him and he's Denzel's boy, he's got to be a pretty decent Nepo baby, especially to do Tenet. Uh I'll put him at two because uh Quayley or Qually or whatever her name is, is uh she's getting there off her looks. And it's kind of like the LA vibe of ladies.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:07

What about Leo being Jack Nicholson's son? No one knows it.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:11

Leo? Hmm. Jack Nicholson's son.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:15

If Leo comes out and it's proven that he is Jack Nicholson's son, he is the number one Nepo baby. Well, no doubt. How much older For sure. Yeah, what would we mean too?

SPEAKER_01 1:01:24

If that's true. Oh, but also, like, I've always wanted a brother. So I don't know. Maybe I'm number one.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:31

Patrick Schwarzenegger? Nah, that's lame.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:34

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's lame, dude. No, no, no, no. No. And uh White Lotus, he was fantastic. Yeah, no one's fantastic.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:42

Really? What? No one's watched White Lotus. Everybody's watching.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:45

You might be the only person who has not watched White Lotus. You don't watch White Lotus? You guys both saw Cockaduke. White Lotus is actually like peak TV. It is. Like as far as like dramaticized TV goes, you cannot get better than White Pocket.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:56

It's the same thing where they have like a different set, different cast, everything.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:59

We gotta get past season one. Season one is also season one's great.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:02

It's shoulders above most TV, and it's it is the worst season. I think we talked about this exactly.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:07

We have talked about this. Sydney Tweeney's acting is not great, but it's phenomenal. Yes. Yes. And her jeans. Yes, and her jeans. Don't forget about her jeans. Yeah. Sydney Tweenie's got to be Tweenie boobs. Alright, yeah, yeah. We got we got uh we got we got tits. Um we got boobs and tits and nipples and cleavage and boobs and tits and nipples and cleavage. But uh her role was to play like an annoying teenage daughter. She can do it very well because of how unlikable she was in the show. I mean, she was unlikable, but I'd be honest with her single thing. Like it's gonna be unwatchable and unlikable. That's she did a good job. And that's all of her roles. It's like, hey, the audience doesn't want to see like a hot white girl be cool and likable. Can you be like lame as fuck? Like, can you be as corny as possible? Can you just act kind of like a porn star? And she does it.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:03

Well, the thing is, is porn stars are the worst actresses. That's what everybody skips. That's what I'm telling you.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:07

That's why that's why she's so bad, is because that's the that's the route she's going. That she's she's leaning towards almost like the uh like the Paris Hilton route where she's kind of selling her body for sex, but not totally. Paris Hilton's Nepo baby. Oh, yeah? Yeah, Paris Hilton's probably the number one Nepo baby of all time. Yeah, how she could have fooled my ass. Well, still off of name and brand, that's that's way, way up. That's like a messy Ronaldo level Nepo baby. Yeah, that's pretty good, Bear. Um, but uh White Lotus, you've got to get the literature.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:40

His dad was the president, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:42

Corey. Corey, what's his last name? Um this is ringing a bell. Baxter? Corey Baxter.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:49

I think that's what it was. Something Baxter. I'm almost positive. Back, back.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:55

Usually black guys back, Baxter. Usually it's black guys and back shots. I've not heard of black guys and backster before. Um I know this because I know it is Cory Baxter, isn't it? I'm pretty sure it's Baxter because Patrick. I think it's uh what is it? Corey Baxter into a corner and do and beat her up. I think. Is that uh my sister had all these bruises? I'm just going off memory. Um poor girl. Uh she was talking crazy though. Watch your mouth around Corey. Who's next, Huey? Cooper Hoffman.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:29

Dustin Hoffman? Philip Seymour Hoffman. Philip Seymour Hoffman. He didn't know movie about it.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:34

What's in that movie he's got out about sex? He's just kind of in a weird. I want your sex.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:39

I want your sex.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:40

That sounds like it's fucking not hot enough to be in a movie only about fucking get the fuck out of here. They're trying to do they're pushing the netbo baby hard with this one. So I'm gonna put him last on the list. Also, uh Philip Seymour Hoffman. Jack Quaid. He was good as a very Jack Quaid's a great netbow baby, thanks to the boys. But his movie, what was the movie he had about like getting hurt? It was terrible. You couldn't feel any pain.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:04

That movie fucking sucked, bro. I forget the name of it. It was how bad it was.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:07

Yeah, it wasn't a it didn't suck.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:09

It was dude, that movie sucked, bro. It was with the fat dude from Spider-Man, the sidekick from Spider-Man. Yeah, the Hawaiian-looking kid. Yeah, yeah. Dude, that movie was dog shit.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:18

That's the smallest Samoan I've ever seen in my life.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:20

It is the smallest Samoan. Also the fattest Samoan. Most Samoans you think look fat, but they're actually not fat, they'll whoop your ass. That one's just a fat Samoan.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:27

We talked about the race changer machine, and uh, it feels like uh like you know, like uh you know the movie The Fly where like the guy's trying to teleport or whatever, and a fly gets in there and he merges with it. It's like he was in the machine in uh in like a Guatemalan snuck in and he was like, fuck! And he's turned out to be the smallest Samoan ever created. I told you to keep him out.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:48

How'd you get in here?

SPEAKER_01 1:05:49

You're so good at hopping borders. Well uh tell me Samoan about this. Uh Raven's. Philip Seymour Hoffman was a very sad man, his son. Also looks quite sad, even though the new movie of him coming out is just him having sex. He still looks sad in it. Yeah. I'm putting him at last on the list. He was in Licorice Pizza though. With PTA film. Yeah, go fuck yourself.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:09

He was pretty good in that. Dude, I know Philip Seymour Hoffman died until literally like last week. Oh, he was Seymour.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:16

Sad, sad, sad, sad guy. I didn't know he was. I saw there was a I saw a clip. Someone said, What's the movie with uh it has Philip Seymour Hoffman and it also has Paul G Paula Giamatti in it? There's a movie with both of them, and somebody said, Alright, that's enough. Like these these guys are too sad. I'm not watching this movie.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:33

Feel good movie of the year. I feel good about myself that I don't look that sad.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:38

Yeah, Philip Seymour. My uh three-year-old or one and a half-year-old nephew, uh I mean, he's barely got hair. He kind of looks like he's already bought. He looks like Philip Seymour Rothman. That's what I call him.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:54

You know what's funny about that?

SPEAKER_03 1:06:56

Is that your favorite person is in that film? Who's us? You know who it is. Who's us? You know who it is.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:01

Knock knock. Who's there?

SPEAKER_03 1:07:03

Ryan Gosling.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:04

What what movie is this? Is it Clavs of Clavicular? Yeah, it's clavicular and Ryan Gosling, actually.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:09

Ever since the nose job, I'm out on Clav. It's the the The Ides of March. I want to watch that. That's is that the one with George Clooney in it too? That's the one that Phil Dude, this is a cast. Isn't Clooney in that? This cast is actually insane.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:20

That's the one where the movie poster is uh it's time. It's a time that yeah. Okay, so yeah, that's a Clooney movie. I'm not saying that. That's that's all I've got.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:28

Ryan Gosling, George Clooney, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Paul Giamatti, Marissa Tomey, Jeffrey Wright. Riladino. What the fuck? When I see a movie with that stacked of a cast, I'm like, what? Either Oscar season was a right around the corner or they're trying to push something with this movie. Yes. Because that's what the fuck? Stacked cast for no reason.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:50

Speaking of stacked cast, I watched Train Wreck last night. You have seen Train Wreck? With Amy Schumer? Is that the Bill Hader or Amy Schumer movie? Dude, that movie's funny as fuck. LeBron James is in that interview. LeBron James is in that movie.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:00

Yeah, he's Bill Hader's like his A.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:01

He's like his best friend.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:02

Yeah. Yeah. I'll tell you what.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:04

Um That movie's fucking funny. Hey, Casey, don't hate on that movie right now. Is it? The movie's funny. Like, should I watch it? Bro, I'm not even lying. That movie's fucking funny. Like, should I watch it? Yes, dude.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:13

I should watch that movie with Bill Hader and are you gonna show some dumb shit right now, dude?

SPEAKER_04 1:08:16

I'm gonna say I'm asking you about the movie. It's funny as well. Can you go?

SPEAKER_02 1:08:19

Stop me. So calm down. The way you were smirking at me, I feel like you were just like, No, no, I'm just asking, like, should I watch this movie with Bill Hader and uh and Amy Schumer? You think I should watch that movie with Amy Schumer? Should I? Should I watch it? Yeah, you fucking dick. Yes, bro. It's funny.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:38

You know, I've been thinking, I've been hearing a lot about Amy Schumer. I was like, only if there was a good movie for me to check out. Are you telling me this is a good one I should check out of Amy Schumer? I've heard that she was like a fat fucking cunt bitch.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:49

Should I watch this movie? She is a fat fucking cunt bitch, but she's funny in this one.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:52

I heard that she was like uh I heard she was like the uh the antichrist of being funny. Should I watch this movie?

SPEAKER_03 1:09:01

It's funny? Seeing the Scotland games just turn Casey into a cheeky cunt. A royal cheeky cunt.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:08

You're gonna come over here than my fucking country and do something like that.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:12

I'll be a Scott, I'll boycott a movie with the fucking lead female as a comedic actor. I'll be a real thing.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:17

I'm telling you, bro, she's funny. She's funny in this movie at least.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:19

I actually oh I haven't seen that movie, but I I have heard despite her, it is actually a funny movie. It's fucking good, bro. It's fucking funny.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:26

It gets a lot of hate because of fucking idiots like you. But like Idiots. Retards.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:32

Retards. Yeah, I'm a retard, not an idiot, dude. Hey, don't be. I'll tell you what, uh, I've heard uh I've actually heard a lot about Amy Schumer's movie and the reviews left by retards and cunts and idiots, and I've I've heard it did really well. So uh I'm I'm very happy for her. Dude, I'm telling you, watch the movie, bro.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:49

That's pretty funny. Hey, uh do what you normally do with drink 12 beers. You know what I'll do?

SPEAKER_01 1:09:55

I'll tell you, uh hit me up next week. I'm gonna tell you I watched the movie, and I'm gonna say it's really good and it's really funny, and I'll I will have lied to you and I will have not have watched it.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:03

That's fine, bro. That's fine. Whatever.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:04

That's fine. No, I'll watch it.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:06

Ryan Gossing was in it, you'd watch it.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:08

So yeah, I'd watch a Ryan Gossing movie over uh this the cast is stacked.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:12

Like every scene, every next scene, there's somebody else in it. It's like stacked. It's by uh who directed like fucking Judd Apatau. Judd Apatow, dude. He's fucking great.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:22

His daughter's doing movies too, apparently. Another Nepo?

SPEAKER_04 1:10:25

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:26

I didn't really put it on the list because she didn't really know.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:27

I'm gonna go ahead and say that I think Zoe Kravis is a little bit. Zoe Kravis stalled it. I think she takes the list, but I think so.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:32

Is it Catwoman also with Catwoman? But it helps that you have Pattinson as Batman with a Catwoman. It works in like a I mean this is as indie as Batman's ever gonna get, is Robert Pattinson. This is as uh I mean this is the best Batman. It is Robert Pattinson is the best. You know what? And I'm finally I I'm glad I can agree with you on movie terms because we don't talk about Amy Schumer anymore. Um I'm good Robert Pattinson is by far like I like him better. Like I think he's a very good Bruce, because they went back to like the detective route instead of like the rich billionaire. And I really like that. I think it does the comics justice. Yes, and I think it really does the character of Batman justice. Though but also you get like the uh you still get the detective, but you get like the rich billionaire, but at a younger age where you're like doesn't give a fuck about the money at all, like as like a teenage, not teenage, but like uh I'm assuming this Batman is like 25, 26, 28, like somewhere in his like mid-20s, yeah. Like he doesn't really give a fuck about the money and wants to solve the crimes. You know, I think that's cool.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:38

Um dude.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:39

He's I think he's the I think he's the best Batman. I like it and and being a better bat Batman than uh Christian Bale is uh it's tough.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:46

Honestly, I don't think it is that tough. His Ben Atlas enough the worst to swerve somebody away like from that. Would you use auto tube?

SPEAKER_01 1:11:53

Pattinson's the best dude I mean they're like T Pain Wee and Batman would go crazy. Pattinson's voice acting uh is crazy. Yeah, like Mickey 17. He does uh he did an anime cartoon.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:08

Yeah, he's uh uh how is moving something in the swan or something? Yeah, uh the the blue heron. The blue heron. The boy no the boy in the boy and the heron, yeah, yeah. Oh, the boy in the strip pajamas. Yeah, it just makes a ghibli.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:19

Or like uh boy in the strip pajamas.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:22

His voice in good times was funny as fuck. I haven't seen that one. He's he's not done a movie with his original voice since Twilight. Everything else has been like a rendition. Dude, it's funny because Robert Pattinson like openly says how much he fucking hates like the fact that he had to do Twilight too. He's a great actor that got him paid, and that got him in the position to do what he's gonna do.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:41

I'm sure.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:41

And then the bitch cheated on him with Yeah, he yeah. I I heard Robert Pattinson's girlfriend said that she did what she did with him. Um whatever. Who gives a fuck now?

SPEAKER_05 1:12:54

Casey I wish you would have fucking told me that, dude. Also, I don't remember you telling me that. Who cares?

SPEAKER_02 1:12:59

Your girlfriend cheated on you, whatever. We have a podcast now, dude. Yeah, folks, she's a fucking loser.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:06

If you can you can have you can have gay sex as a straight woman uh with a gay guy. Yes. That's all you're gonna do. And it's still not morally permissible if you're if as long as as long as your partner is not using that hole.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:21

Yeah, fuck, dude. This is you guys are making it worse by the minute I'm using that hole, dude. I'm putting birdie on that hole.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:27

You're putting birdie on the ass.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:28

You weren't you weren't at the time. It was unvacant. Yeah, like I said, it was that's fair.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:32

Yeah, dude, I'm not gonna lie, I've not teed off yet on the ass. Um you know, I'm c I'm kind of uh kind of like what I'm doing at the secret group. I'm kind of building myself. I'm trying to get better at this. I'm trying to get better at fucking pussy before I fuck butts. You know what I mean? If I'm gonna fuck a butt, I damn sure better not a fuck a pussy. You know what I mean? Delayed gratification. Boy do I. Yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna put my penis where your poop comes out. If I uh God forbid I embarrass myself in your butthole. Uh hope it's more listening to this. If I'm gonna embarrass myself, I'm gonna embarrass myself in some veg. I'm not you gotta Once you start fucking the ass. I mean, you got the stroke game's gotta be there, you gotta keep going, or else it's kind of like, all right, like this kind of hurts.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:18

Let's do this. You gotta you gotta stick it out.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:19

You gotta you gotta master the kitty slope before you move on to the brown diamond of the uh of the s of the snowboard.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:26

Yeah, the ski turns for all you Colorado ass fuckers. Yeah, but Logan, shout out Logan. Oh, the other Colorado ass fucker, Logan.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:35

Log dog. Log dog, I heard that boy's bagging.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:39

Dude, that wouldn't surprise me. He's Logan would not surprise me.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:42

He's not a that boy's a bottom. G Shepard shout out from Logan. He is a offense by that. One second shout out for his tribute on the bottom.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:50

Hey, I love bottoms, dude. Yeah. Power bottom. Bottomless. He's a power bottom. That's a bottomless pit. Don't drag my boy, all right? Power bottom. He fucks back. Yeah. Shout out, Log.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:03

Shout out Mike Wiley, too. Shout out Mike Wiley. Shout out to Mike Wiley. You motherfucker. I know you're listening right now, Mike Wiley.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:10

We love you. Mike Wiley. Last time I linked up with him, boy. Lady Shot Man had a good time. Mike Wiley. Man, if it wasn't for my wife. Man, that's all I got to say. Mike Wiley. Mike Wiley. We'll just leave it at that.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:30

You use your imagination, you sick fuck. Mike Wiley's licking the sugar off of a margarita right now, listening to this podcast.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:37

Mike Wiley.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:41

There's not a single little dollop of sugar on the rim of that. Fuck no, dude.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:46

Yeah, absolutely not. Dude, the sugar's gone. It's just a spit dripping down the glass afterwards.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:52

Oh, yeah. He's halfway down his forearm. Margarita. Alright. Great episode, boys. Let's go to timeout. Let's go to fucking. Fuck you guys.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:04

We're done talking about it. We're going to go get drunk.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:07

We're going to go throw darts at a Mexican waitress's head. Let's go to timeout, boys. We're going to shoot the cue ball into a Cuten Man's book. See you guys.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:18

We're going to ash, we're going to ash cigarettes into the ash Thursday.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:23

You're going to drop acid at the I'm going to drop acid at the pool tables for my company. I haven't quit my job yet. I know I keep on saying I will. Stay tuned. They paid me over time for uh whatever. I like my job again.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:36

I still might quit. I still might quit. Mr. Mark, if you're listening, we gotta talk.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:49

Keep it kosher, boys. Iranian teams in the United States on September 13th. Everybody, watch out.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:54

And fuck Haiti.