Diners, Drives, and DUI's - RTB Ep. 24

GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS! have a beer with us :) good jokes in here

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:03

We are back. We are back. You know, for three guys who probably got diagnosed with some type of learning disability in middle school, we fucking show up. Hey. We're episode 24, baby. 24, dude.

SPEAKER_04 0:15

The only thing I'm ever on time for. I'm late to work. I'm late to drink. You are.

SPEAKER_02 0:18

You know what? I will give you props. You are on time for this every week, bro. I'm like, I'll never be late to drinking beers. This is the most consistent you've been on time to something ever. In my life, yeah. Yeah. I'm punctual. Cheers, dude. Cheers. Fucking cheers, boys. Cheers.

SPEAKER_05 0:32

Cheers.

SPEAKER_02 0:33

Dante, get in on this. Cheers. That's a black arm right there. In case you guys were questioning Dante's ethnicity.

SPEAKER_01 0:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:39

Fucking punch.

SPEAKER_02 0:40

Oh, man.

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Punctual Pete when it comes to drinking beers.

SPEAKER_02 0:43

Dude, I can't wait to swerve my fucking helicopter on Kobe Bryant, episode 24. Hell yeah. RP Kobe. RP. Oh man. R.I.P. my fucking bank account too, bro. Peace be upon him. Peace be upon Kobe. Peace be a con peace be a punkie. Bro, I've been uh I've been a gambling demon again. For the longest time, I would only gamble on football. Calci conquist at the moment. Non gambling on football, bro. Like I'm fucking I'm all across the board, bro. I'm I'm a I'm a what'd you say a calci conquistador? Calci conquistador. I'm a demon, bro. I'm a fucking demon on Calci. I think that's a title. Calci conquistador. Yeah. I fucking love it. You guys gotta hop on Calci though.

SPEAKER_04 1:20

Yeah, we're joking about this, but I'm like actually literally addicted to betting on the World Cup. It's bad. And I think it's gonna carry over. The other night, all the soccer games ended. It was like midnight. Uh on Polymarket, I just was looking at random markets. There's a Japanese baseball game going on. When I typed in there, no, I typed in there, I was like, what the fuck is this? It was like it was like Pablo Sanchez, little cartoon baseball guy character was like one of the team logos. And I was like, what the fuck is this sport? And someone was like, It's Japanese baseball, dickhead, pay attention.

SPEAKER_02 1:47

But you were like, bro, you're saying that you are you talking like the chat on the channel?

SPEAKER_04 1:51

I'll talk in the chats all the time. Dude, I got I got uh actually pretty popular in one chat when US played Australia. I typed in there, I'm stroking my shit to US men's team's highlights. Everyone was boosted. I got like five likes on it. But the chat likes comments, yeah. The chat goes so fast, it's hard to get one like. I got five. It was cool.

SPEAKER_02 2:07

It's actually like I was talking about I was talking about like betting on everything with Peyton and like have you seen Idiocracy? Yeah. Okay. It's like that's where we are headed, like 100%. Yeah. Bro, you can gamble on fucking anything now. I looked at the game the other day, it was like the USA game, or I think it was the USA game. There was like there was like seven billion dollars worth of money being gambled on the bread.

SPEAKER_04 2:31

We've as a society added bread and circus to the bread and circus. Like what comes after that? I don't know, bro. Like after after betting on the game, like eventually the dopamine from that's gonna go away. Everybody's gonna be rich as fuck. Obviously, nobody's gonna lose their money.

SPEAKER_02 2:45

Dude, we are we literally are becoming idiocular.

SPEAKER_04 2:48

They're having fights on the White House lawn. Yeah, and fucking you're you can gamble on it. Terry Cruz was the president.

SPEAKER_02 2:54

Terry Cruz is president in 2020. It's just gonna be like Bonnie Blue is the high the halftime show. Uh it's just gonna be just a bunch of goonies. Is it on the TV? On the 50-yard line. I don't know what's going on here. Yeah, the leave the remote up there.

SPEAKER_04 3:09

The uh yeah, Bonnie Blue versus the Dallas Cowboys.

SPEAKER_02 3:15

Uh we'll figure it out anyway. Um, yeah, dude, that's a it's a fucking problem, bro. I've been it's but you know what, it's not a bad problem because I'm up, dude. And all my homies are up.

SPEAKER_04 3:23

Exactly. All my homies are up right now. Yeah, and what's cool about all your homies being up is that you have no choice but to believe them, but I know there's at least a few of us that are lying and are losing a bunch of money. And I'm I'm not gonna say his name.

SPEAKER_02 3:36

Yes, okay, yeah. Dude, you can say his name, bro. You can say his name. I've talked enough about it. Yeah, he knows he has a problem, bro. Yeah. He's a gambling, fucking you know, it's like I th I talked about this last time, too, but like I'll double down on it. I won't take advice.

SPEAKER_04 3:51

Like you're at a party, everybody's betting on the game, you go to the bathroom to deposit more money into your game. Yeah, it's a good bet with your friends. Yeah, yeah. I don't want them to see.

SPEAKER_02 4:00

Eh? I mean I don't know. I no, definitely not. He would have told us. He would have sent a picture. Yeah. 100% he would have sent a picture. You always brag about your wins. You don't bring you don't brag about your losses.

SPEAKER_01 4:11

Right.

SPEAKER_04 4:12

I try to be up front. If I'm if I'm not commenting on a World Cup game, I lost. If I am, I won.

SPEAKER_02 4:18

He definitely is down. He has to be has to be. I mean, that's what I would imagine. I mean, what he's probably not like down overall because he hit fucking sixteen hundred dollars on single bingo the other night. Are we kind of gambling? Oh, yeah. That's the thing, is he gambles on everything. He gambles on everything. We're like, well, that dice game that he did in the back alley in fucking Greens Point. Like, yeah, he's up on that. He's got guns point. I did I took a piece of his advice because like I I put money on Switzerland to win. Ended up cashing out because the profit was pretty nice. I was like, fuck it, I'll cash out. But on the side, like what I learned what Ant does is like if he bets on one thing to happen, he'll double down on the opposite with like more reward in case he loses. So he's like, so I'll cover myself or I'll break even. So it's like it doesn't make sense because he's just like he's like breaking even at least every time. So it's like he's literally just gambling for no reason. He's covering both sides. It doesn't sound very fun. It's bad, dude. I don't know. I couldn't fucking I can see how it becomes a problem. If I hit a 26,000 win.

SPEAKER_04 5:26

Yeah, if you're gonna bet against your bet, you might as well just not place the first bet. Just kind of just enjoy the game. That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_02 5:31

Like he told me this the other day. He's like, Well, why don't you just bet on it? I didn't cover it. And I was like, is this how your mind fucking works? I don't know. I don't talk. It's like you're just you're just betting just to bet at that. It's like yeah, there's like no positive. Yeah, it's being a gambling gooner, like literally like having like all he's like in a goon gambling goon game. You have like all the different screens up. I'm like, dude, just watch porn, man. Alright.

SPEAKER_04 5:55

Honestly, yeah, I think it maybe if he jacked off, he wouldn't bet. I did get the test. I'm not gonna. I know I took a shower this afternoon and I didn't jack off on purpose because I knew I'd be watching soccer and betting on it. I wanna get it. You're already sweating the juice though. I needed a test for the game.

SPEAKER_02 6:10

I can't do it in the shower, bro. I just can't do it. I can't. You're not holding anything. You never tried it. I'm just like no, I've I'm sure I have, dude.

SPEAKER_04 6:16

I was a teenager at one point. Like it sucks for me because my shower is like a glass shower. Anybody walks in your place? Yeah, if anybody walks in, yeah.

unknown 6:26

No.

SPEAKER_02 6:27

I feel like it's an open invitation. You're just beating it in the shower. Dude, yeah, next time I come over. It is an open invitation.

SPEAKER_04 6:33

Like at the beginning of relationship, yeah, but like six years into it, it's like, what the fuck are you doing, weirdo? Like, I don't know, because like I just got done cooking dinner in here jacking off.

SPEAKER_02 6:42

I feel like it's more it's embarrassing. Like if you got caught like watching porn, it's like it's like, you know, like you know, you gotta close the laptop, fucking block out, all this shit.

SPEAKER_04 6:50

But really, like long-term relationships work. If you're just standing beating the shit to your imagination, well then so next time I start off in the space, it's there's gonna be an assumption that I'm thinking about porn or something like that.

SPEAKER_02 7:01

You could be like, oh, I'm I'm I'm thinking about you. Yeah, easy out right there. Yeah, good luck.

SPEAKER_04 7:06

Good luck ever trying that. Tell somebody that they're gonna tell you fuck you to your face. That's even weirder. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:12

You fucking sicko. Yeah. You definitely like it. You think about I'm not gonna talk about this anymore. Oh goodness. Bro, I forgot actually, I was I was re-editing, I was editing last week's video, and we talked about how you're getting pulled over uh like two episodes ago, like three weeks ago you got pulled over. And like I never talked about it to Dante last time he was here, but when y'all told me like Dante pretty much assumed that you were going to prison and didn't get you food on my wedding trip. This is funny as fuck. He got the live text. He got the live text. He's like, he's like telling him that, uh, scrap, I'll make that three McDoubles actually. Dude, yeah, how was that, bro? You should have like brought food for everybody, was like, yo, you yeah, you got pulled over.

SPEAKER_03 7:54

My whole my whole thing, I was like, dude, we're all drunk. We're gonna have to go pick him up. Might as well go with full bellies, you know what I mean? But not go satisfied. Yeah, dude. You thought it was toast. You're not gonna greet me with a McDouble's over. We we drank so much. But it's so funny.

SPEAKER_04 8:14

We would have taken you afterwards. Yeah. I was talking like you would have had to sober up before we went to the police station to get you. Oh, you think Huey was like all your drunk friends both?

SPEAKER_03 8:21

Like, I know you had a lot to drink.

SPEAKER_02 8:23

Yeah, or I I you know, I I paste it and then and then Adderall as well. Uh yeah. So I was I was like back to basically one beer. Yeah. Like it's so funny, like that has to be like just how the black mind works. It's like our homie got pulled over, see you, Sayah, Nara. There's no way there's no way he's getting off. He's getting McPenetrated tonight. He's getting McPenetrated. Yeah, bro. I thought it was fucking rap. I like the he like poured out like a little bit of Dr. Pepper. Like, dude, Dallin called me, I swear to God.

SPEAKER_03 8:56

I was like, no.

SPEAKER_01 8:58

Why? Yeah, I know it was.

SPEAKER_04 9:00

Dallin called me and gave me the news. I was like, nuts. And like I started tearing up in the passenger seat. He's like, uh, Kins' like, what's the matter? It's like one of the co-hosts of the podcast is gonna go to jail. What am I gonna do? Fez did a sweep.

SPEAKER_02 9:15

You're like choking up the funniest part was like could you play could you play Fez Did a Sweep, please? The funniest part was how like you said you had like five pieces of wedding cake in the passenger seat. Dude, that wedding cake was so fucking good.

SPEAKER_01 9:32

Bro, it was like it was like the best cake I've ever had.

SPEAKER_02 9:34

It was the to-go bot size. So, you know, like when you get like an entree to go, it was a good to-go bot size of like full of wedding cake. But he dumped it in a trash bag and just like left the house with it. Bro, that was a good cake. That was a really good cake. It was very good. I offered some of the yeah, I was like, I was like, you would have taken more. I would have took it. If I'm a cop and somebody pulls me over, they offer me wedding cake. Because wedding cake's not like sheet cake, dude. It's like, well, bro, they paid $500, $600, bro. People pay thousands of dollars for the wedding cake. Yeah. I'm taking some of the cake, bro. I could have pawned that shit. It's phenomenal. That's fucking that's top dollar cake right there. It's great. This ain't no punk cake. That is top dollar cake. It was fucking gas, bro. I would have took that shit. I would have took it and ran. And you probably still would have got a ticket. Me, my petty ass, uh, you still would have got a ticket. There was like a split second where I was like, does it look too like, does this look like fucked up behavior? And I was like, I can't put it in the glove box. Put cake in the glove box. And it's all in your car forever. Casey's like, oh, these cops are gonna think I'm a fucking fag if they see all this cake in my side.

SPEAKER_04 10:45

If you get pulled over too much cake, you're I mean, that's store in my life to me.

SPEAKER_02 10:50

I always get pulled over with too much cake.

SPEAKER_01 10:53

The cop just like judges you he pulls you over, what are you some kind of fucking cocksucker? What's up with all this wedding cake? Casey's like, fuck.

SPEAKER_02 11:03

He's like a big Liver King guy. He's like, that's not primal at all, actually.

SPEAKER_01 11:06

No, Casey's like like so embarrassed of the cake that he's like, no, I'm actually am drunk as fuck. I'm not eating that cake.

SPEAKER_00 11:13

I stole this cake. It's like he's like all in his mustache. I was this is cum.

SPEAKER_02 11:25

No, I'm not eating sweet stuff. I just gotta finish sucking a dude off. That's good.

SPEAKER_04 11:30

I'd rather get caught sucking a dude off than in cake.

SPEAKER_02 11:33

Come is savory, okay? It's more of a salty venture. You'll never catch me. This isn't buttercream. How dare you? Butt cream. I'm gonna need back up.

SPEAKER_01 11:45

You guys gotta come see this shit. It's okay, dude. I mean, it's so fucking funny.

SPEAKER_02 11:53

Like the way Casey's mind works.

SPEAKER_04 11:55

I mean it's so fucking funny. What are you gonna do, dude? I mean, yeah, I'd rather get pulled over with a few beers. Like in the cup holders and like a sleeve of cookies or something like that. This is a man's man, dude. Yeah. It's like uh you can understand, like pulling somebody over with beer, like you can understand pulling somebody over, like actively eating sweets. Like, bro, what the fuck are you doing?

SPEAKER_02 12:15

I've can't eat and drive. I don't know if it was like a like a comedy bit that someone had, or it was like something like a saw or something, but it's like one of the like the gayest things that could possibly happen to you is like leaving dairy queen getting pulled over and you have a cone melting in your hand.

SPEAKER_01 12:29

Like look at that shit while the cop's talking. I'm thinking about it now.

SPEAKER_04 12:33

I think uh I think eating and driving is more dangerous than drinking and driving. Oh bro, try sleeping and driving. Like some people like be on a road trip, pull into a a drive-thru, get like a meal, like burger, fries, yeah, like eat it while they're driving.

SPEAKER_02 12:47

Yeah, it's like bro, but do you ever like it doesn't make any sense? The way you are with like sweets, I'm like subconsciously the same way about food. Like there's some times where like I won't eat all day, and I'll go to the gym, have like a really good workout. I know there's dinner at home, but I'm fucking starving, so I'll like hurry up and hit Chick-fil-A before I get dinner.

SPEAKER_01 13:10

And like I'm like, there's a like sometimes I'll turn my location off so no one sees I'm at Chick-fil-A. That's crazy. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 13:17

Well, the thing is, is like, bro, that's crazy. No, no, you gotta hear me. I mean, the same thing I'm doing, but it's he gotta be turning up my location to go to Chicago. Because Peyton will like, bro, I was one time I was like Christmas shopping for Peyton, and I like pulled into a place and I was in there for five fucking minutes. And if she would have seen that I was there, it would have been a dead giveaway what I was giving her for Christmas. Yeah. And I as I was leaving, she was like, Oh, you just left so-and-so, they have the best yada yada there. And I was like, Holy fuck. Did she just sit at home watching my location? And there's been two times where like I'll go get food, and like I'm in the driveway, I'm in the drive-thru for like two minutes. I get my food, it's fast food, I get my food and I leave, right? And like in that two to five minute time span, she's like, You know what, you know the McDonald's and get me anything? And I'm like, Holy fuck, how did you see that? Yeah, so it's gotten to the point where it's like, I think she just sits at home and watches my location. You might have a PI on you, dude. Yeah, you might have a PI on you. So I'll go like grab food, and like there's been time like the way you talk about like eating and driving is dangerous.

SPEAKER_04 14:17

Yeah, there's been times where like I have a 10-minute car ride home and I have a s to scarf down like a Chipotle bowl, like on the way home, because I don't want to like get in trouble for like eating food without the McDonald's kids' meals now, you can get extra fries instead of apples. It used to be just apples or fries, now it's fries and apples, or you can get extra fries and apples. And every time I go through the drive-thru after daycare, we're just like, I don't want apples. I'm like, relax, you're not getting apples at all. I'm gonna eat your extra fries right now. Yeah, and you can have the regular fries too. But that's the only time I really eat and drive. This is the mini fries? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:50

Well, fries are eating I guess just yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:53

Yeah, I'm gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_02 14:54

I'm offering down a double potwey bowl. Oh, eating with a fork, but driving with my knee, bro.

SPEAKER_04 15:00

It's safer for you to like you should like a bottle of liquor and drive. It's safer. It's safer, yeah. It's safer. As long as it's like a short distance from home.

SPEAKER_02 15:08

The way the shit is going, like eventually it will be like frowned upon to be eating and driving over drinking and driving.

SPEAKER_04 15:16

A boy can only hope, dude. I'll look that'd be magnificent.

SPEAKER_02 15:19

I looked over the other day and this lady was eating crawfish. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Can you imagine eating crawfish and touching your steering wheel? Uh I'm saying that's crazy. Driving with your wrist. The wheel slipping everywhere. That'll see you. Eating fucking crawfish. What's the most dangerous food you can eat? It's gotta be crawfish. That has to be dangerous skills.

SPEAKER_00 15:42

I don't care how efficient you are, how surgical you are with your crawfish eating skills.

SPEAKER_02 15:47

You just look at you got the fucking butter.

SPEAKER_04 15:52

Somebody in Louisiana is definitely eating crawfish and driving. Oh, dude, those kunasses, they're crazy. They're probably also drinking and driving.

SPEAKER_02 16:02

No, she'd she had a full boil situation. I'll look over. I'm like literally sucking the head of a crawfish. Holy shit. No, I'm I'm I'm not kidding. You didn't take a picture? No. If I see somebody eating crawfish driving next to me, the first thing I'll do is taking a picture of me. So I am I am tor terrible about eating pictures. I was like, I did double take, I was like, what the fuck? The bitch is eating crawfish. Was she she was eating crawfish, bro? Oh, I was gonna say, was she black? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That was more impressive because her nails are long as fuck. That's why black people have their nails so long. So they can get all the shit. They they don't waste any crawfish. Yeah, it used to be for holding the blunt, now it's just forgetting the craw seats. Yeah, forgetting the crawfish. Holy moly. Yeah, this the the red fucking seasoning is just getting all over your seats. I know she had cloth seats. I know she had cloth seats. Oh my goodness. The odor is in there. My goodness. That's why you gotta smoke menthols to get the odor out. I think you gotta balance it out. Let me smoke new ports in the car. Yeah, black people like cools because it overpowers the smell of seafood. Yeah, exactly. The natural enemy of crawfish. I remember when Dante was like, one time we went to the fucking baseball game together, and like that's where Dante goes, nah, actually, I quit vaping.

SPEAKER_01 17:29

I don't vape no more. Like, I don't like it no more. I don't vape. Let me leave the game. He like pulls out a pack of cigarettes and he's like straight smoking cigarettes inside. But that is I think the younger generation has headed back to six. I think six might be better for you. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 17:48

Have you seen the the vape shot? Like the vapes that come from China, they're like hitting them and then putting them in the box to make sure that.

SPEAKER_02 17:56

That's definitely the gave us covet. Yeah. It turns out saving your aura is better for your health.

SPEAKER_04 18:03

Do you think the the jerseys that I got from China, like every jersey they make, they try on first before they put it in the box? Yeah. Just work shirtless and put on a bunch of jerseys.

SPEAKER_01 18:12

They do suu in the fucking workshop. I like this one. I record this one.

SPEAKER_02 18:19

Christiano Ronaldo. Doctor is hey yo, I'm tired of using technology. He's going full analog with the cigarettes. I gotta circle back, bro. I've like you know what? Uh since this is going on the internet, like I'm gonna let everyone know. I I'll never talk shit about soccer again. Thank you. I'll never talk shit about soccer again. And I'll even post a picture on our Instagram story letting everyone know, like, hey, I was in the wrong.

SPEAKER_04 18:43

Yeah, dude, because I saw you post that story like soccer's gay. It was for the UFC fight. You're like soccer's gay, UFC is.

SPEAKER_02 18:49

I wasn't on board yet, dude. I wasn't on board yet. I'm on board now. Good. I'm on I watched the USA game, bro. Dante, how do you feel about the red card?

SPEAKER_04 18:56

Oh, dude, yeah, rip it, Dante. Rip it.

SPEAKER_02 18:58

Dante, let us know, bro. War crimes.

SPEAKER_03 19:01

I've ever seen in my life, boys. I've seen a lot of shit. Let it rip. Tell us. I've seen bad calls.

SPEAKER_02 19:06

Dante was spazzing talking about I want that guy hung. Dante was waging war on countries.

SPEAKER_03 19:13

I might have said some rather risque things. But we'll say I was very drunk.

SPEAKER_04 19:19

Hey. That's all.

SPEAKER_03 19:21

Something has to happen in that ref, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 19:24

All is fair in love and war. He's gotta be from Bosnia.

SPEAKER_03 19:26

He's from Bosnia. Yeah, I mean, that was an unfortunate.

SPEAKER_04 19:28

He's from Brazil, and he has a history of allegedly. He went uh actually, there was like an investigation into it, and he like showed up in court for it for rigging games with red cards in Brazil. Well, that's all you need to know.

SPEAKER_03 19:42

They stick him in there to ref a goddamn World Cup knockout game. And it just happens to be USA. Just happens to be against the USA.

SPEAKER_04 19:49

For the final, the NBA finals, the Super Bowl, they get the best of the best refs every time. For the World Cup, we got guys that are accused of rigging games with red cards, and the first thing he fucking does is rigging with a fucking red card.

SPEAKER_02 20:00

And then there's no backtracking.

SPEAKER_03 20:01

They got Irbean in there. Yeah. I think Erbean. Not even just him. I mean, there's been so many bad calls this whole tournament. I mean, we just saw one. We just saw one with Portugal.

SPEAKER_04 20:12

I mean, that offsides.

SPEAKER_02 20:15

I don't know enough about balls, so I'll let you guys dupe this one up. I'm very happy y'all's best.

SPEAKER_04 20:18

I mean, to me, but I'm so sad that Luca Modric had to end his career off of a bullshit call when it should have gone to at least an extra 30. Maybe I would have loved to see a game where 41-year-old Ronaldo and 40-year-old Modric are shooting out PKs in the World Cup. That would have been sick. That would have been sick.

SPEAKER_03 20:36

I would have lost my bet, but I don't care. That would have been sort of.

SPEAKER_04 20:39

Like I said, I'm happy you guys won your bets. I'm happy. But for for soccer, I felt like the man.

SPEAKER_03 20:43

Yeah, I felt bad for my. I mean, I bet Portugal and I won quite a bit of money. You did. But I mean, I felt bad for Modrics. I love Modrich. So do I. You know, it's one of those E's.

SPEAKER_02 20:53

All-time fave. I thought I was gambling demon. Dante, you're a gambling fucking demon right now. Yeah, hell of a run. Right.

SPEAKER_05 20:58

Dante was talking about he put 1600 on USA to win. A Patriot.

SPEAKER_02 21:01

That's fucking Patriot. Patriot. Balls on the fucking table. That's like a day's worth of work for me.

SPEAKER_03 21:08

Balls all on table, bro. Right.

SPEAKER_02 21:10

He texts us and he goes, uh, what'd you say? Yeah, bro. I was so hype I picked up the chair and I slammed it on the ground a couple times.

SPEAKER_03 21:15

Yeah, I took off my shirt and slammed my chair. No, actually, I didn't rip off my shirt for that free kick goal, but I did rip it off when Balagoon got called off sides.

SPEAKER_02 21:25

You got so mad you ripped your shirt off? They probably thought you were bossy if it's a good one.

SPEAKER_03 21:29

I got I got so hype, and then the flag came up and I couldn't believe it. I wish I was a fly on the wall.

SPEAKER_02 21:38

Bro, when Dante gets mad, it's the funniest shit. Dante is funny. There's a story that Dante, I don't remember the whole details of it, but like in high school, like right after high school, you like pulled up to someone's house with like a fucking cart strap and try to beat their ass. You were there with me.

SPEAKER_00 21:56

You were there with me.

SPEAKER_01 21:57

I must have been fucked up.

SPEAKER_04 22:01

Dude, you were there with me. You and Alan. I swear to God. That sounds right. That sounds like something. So I'll tell you the story.

SPEAKER_03 22:08

So we I don't remember what happened exactly, but like I I wasn't I didn't have my car at the time. And we planned on like smoking. Did we go in the in Alan's? So hold on, let me explain. Let me explain. So we we planned on smoking, but you were saying that y'all wanted to go to the gym. And we happened to be hanging with y'all that day, and we were riding around in Alan's car. So me and Alex stayed in the parking lot. We all went in the gym to work out. And we started hitting up plugs to, you know, score some bud. And it happened to be Jacob Harris. We hit up a little cool guy, so at least. And we I texted him and he I asked him for some bud and he's like being weird about it. He's like, I don't know, maybe he's like, can you come take me to the gas station to like get some drinks or something? I was like, I was like, yeah, sure, I guess. Maybe those a few bucks for gas because gas Alan had no gas in the car at all. He hardly ever did.

SPEAKER_04 23:04

Yeah, we didn't leave town much. And he was like, you can't even do it. He was like, you can't even do it for me.

SPEAKER_03 23:11

Like, what kind of fucking like person are you? I was like, dude, I have no gas just. I don't even have my car right now. You know what I mean? And I was like, bro, I was like, you can't just do me a solid and let me come pick up some bud real quick. And he's like, no. And I was like, I I thought you were my friend. He's like, dude, we've never fucking been friends. Like you're a fucking dickhead. And this was like out of nowhere. I never talked shit to this guy in my life. Never talked shit to this guy in my life. Like I thought we were boys. Like I had just hung out with him like a week or two ago. Yeah. So he says that, and I was so I was so mad that I went inside and like grabbed y'all mid-workout. And was like they were at the back working out, grabbed the big workout. I was like, yo, get the fuck out of here right now. We're going to beat this fucking guy's ass. He's talking shit. Was it were we at Planet Fitness? Yes. Yeah, okay. I remember this. Bro, I'm not Alan. Didn't even re-rack his weight. He got up immediately. Alan, I swear to God, dropped the fucking bar and didn't even put up the weight. He didn't even ask who.

SPEAKER_02 24:10

Sound the local arm. Didn't even ask. Sound the local arm. I need to get the boys together. And Alan was like, let's go. Let's go right here.

SPEAKER_04 24:16

If you gave Alan the option of free $500 or get to fight this guy, he would pick get to fight this guy.

SPEAKER_03 24:22

He like didn't even like look over. He like didn't even break eye contact. He like dropped the weights and we just walked out. It's like, okay.

SPEAKER_02 24:31

Some like middle-aged woman.

SPEAKER_04 24:33

Bro, literally the most bounted guy I've ever met in my fucking life.

SPEAKER_03 24:37

Everybody. But anyway, so they leave it, and I was like, I was like, you're a fucking pussy. I'm gonna fucking see you soon. And so we pull up, we pull up to his house, and remember we had been working at H E B and they give you that cartoon. It's like a fucking rope with like a little turnbuckle at the end. Yeah. So I was like, I walk up to his door, I like wrap that shit around my fist. I was like, I was like, now I remember this. I was it was dude, this was late at night. This was like 10 30 p.m. Is this was this in your current neighborhood where you live in the house? No, no, this was uh like a little bit down the road next to that church right there. What part of Manhattan was this? No, this was in fucking God damn it, dude. God damn it.

SPEAKER_02 25:22

I gave you an out. Don't believe about the location. This fine. Is it back in Lower East Side Manhattan? I'm remembering. You beat this guy's ass at 11 p.m.

SPEAKER_00 25:34

Continue.

SPEAKER_03 25:35

Yeah, so I pulled up on the door, I knock on it, I'm like, get the fuck out here. I'm gonna fucking beat your ass. I can't fucking believe I can't believe you call me a pussy. Like, I can't believe you could be such a fucking dick. Like, I'm gonna fuck you up. And his dad, like, answered his door. And his dad was such a fag, bro. His dad was such a fag. I always fucking hated his dad. Every time I would go over there to hang out, he would always have something to fucking complain about. Fag dad? Fag dad.

SPEAKER_01 26:05

Fagpipes from Fag Dad.

SPEAKER_03 26:06

Anyways, he answered the door and he's like, go the fuck away or whatever. And I was like, where the fuck is your? He's like, you're not fucking talking to And like that was pretty much the end of it. Like after walk away.

SPEAKER_01 26:19

I just remember hearing that story for like the for a long time. Like, yeah, bro, Dante like wrapped like a card strap around his I just remember like because I knew Dante worked at HEB at the time.

SPEAKER_02 26:29

And like whatever they said, uh, because someone who didn't work at HEB was like, yeah, he had like some tool with him.

SPEAKER_01 26:35

They say he like wrapped it around his hands. It was like a strap. I was like, knew immediately. Oh, I work at HEB, I got a cart strap in the car right now.

SPEAKER_02 26:42

He he he made boxing, make makeshift boxing hand wraps. He did, but that's that's what it was. Yeah, it's like a long would be a hell of a weapon. It's yo, yeah, bro. Hell of a weapon. Like, I'm I'm trying to picture what it's just like a it's like a long, like um, you know, like the tactical belts, not like leather, but they're like uh like seat belts almost. Okay. It's kind of like that. They're long, and at the end of it, it has like a just like a metal hook.

SPEAKER_04 27:05

Like a like the part of a ratchet strap with the ratchet strap. It has like a ratchet strap hook.

SPEAKER_02 27:09

But it is kind of like like like boxing hand wraps a little bit. Yeah, the same is like the metal hook, yeah. A lot tougher. But the actual, yeah. Yeah, so you're like fucking Altair, you're like Etsy O out of the world. The funniest part was like he definitely only had one rap, so he's like, I'm only throwing rights, like whenever I find this guy.

SPEAKER_04 27:25

I have so many good memories with Dante, but two of the best were uh after Harvey when your house got flooded out, and the upstairs just turned into like uh I don't know, like Wiz Kalifa's apartment or something. I don't know how to do it.

SPEAKER_03 27:40

We pretty much took everything that got flooded from downstairs and like all the valuable shit and took it upstairs, so like all the random shit.

SPEAKER_04 27:46

I remember one time we we got like an O or some shit, some shit crazy. We we were all staying the night upstairs. We smoked a bunch and then we went to Waffle House and got a bunch of waffles. Came back to your house and ate them, and everybody just kind of like looked at each other, and then we all went back to Waffle House and got more waffles.

SPEAKER_03 28:04

Like literally an hour and a half later.

SPEAKER_04 28:06

Yeah, dude, Waffle House used to be the fucking spot.

SPEAKER_02 28:08

When we were younger, bro, we were at Waffle House like four times over.

SPEAKER_04 28:11

Do you remember when the the the cop came in there and started asking for police reports about that lady that got hit by a fucking thing?

SPEAKER_02 28:16

Yeah, dude, it was me and the me and Dante were in the I bro, we were driving towards Waffle House. This lady was like frantically running away down the street, like in the opposite direction of us. I don't know what overcame me, because I never in a million years would give somebody like a random person a ride. Yeah. But as we drove by, I asked Dante, I was like, yo, should I give that lady a ride? And he was like, nah.

SPEAKER_01 28:38

Yeah, that bitch was two minutes later, she was dead, bro. Two minutes later she was dead. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 28:44

I was like, nah, that bitch is probably fucking crazy.

SPEAKER_01 28:47

Yeah, dude, he was yeah, he was like, bro, this is probably tweaking on something, bro. Because it was like midnight and she was running down the road. And I was like, should I give her a ride? I feel like I should give her a ride. That's what I was like, nah, that bitch is on something.

SPEAKER_02 28:59

Everyone she was on the run, do it. She's like, she over. She's like lightly jogging. No, dude, her boyfriend was like leaving Waffle House. We we pulled up her boyfriend. He was carving up. Dude, he ran her over, bro. He fucking killed her.

SPEAKER_03 29:12

Yeah, so we show up to Waffle House and like we just hung out there for like 10-15 minutes. Yeah. And then helicopters. Then comes a cop.

SPEAKER_02 29:19

Helicopter. No, well, first it was like helicopter cars like helicopters. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:23

Helicopter cars. Then all of a sudden a cop comes in and he's he starts talking to the staff. Yeah. And ask him a question. Then he comes over to us and he's like, hey, did y'all see anyone like leave this like area? Pause real quick. I'm gonna pick right back up. So the cops pull in, ask the staff a few questions, and then they come to us. They're like, hey, did you see anyone leaving this restaurant? Like in a like a I don't remember the color of the truck, but it was like a F-150 or some type of truck. And we're like, no, like uh like what happened? And he was like, uh some lady got like ran over down the street. I think it was the w worker that told us it. I don't think the cop actually told us what happened, but yeah, apparently someone got ran over down the road, and it was the same lady that we just saw walking or jogging down the road, I guess. And it was some guy. Apparently they got in an argument. It was her husband or boyfriend husband or something, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 30:12

They had their kid in the car.

SPEAKER_03 30:13

Yeah, yeah. They got an argument. She stormed out of Waffle House, I guess, after being threatened, and started running away for her life, pretty much, and he like chased her down.

SPEAKER_05 30:22

And fucking ran over like by where the the auto parts is down the road. With the kid in the car, it was a baby, like a yeah, it was like it was in like a car seat.

SPEAKER_03 30:30

Judging by where we saw her, so we saw her like by the light like Newport. So like she got hit by auto zone, right? Like that's about a few minutes later, like right after we saw her.

SPEAKER_05 30:41

It was crazy, bro.

SPEAKER_03 30:42

Crazy. It was nuts.

SPEAKER_04 30:43

And I'll never forgive Dante for that shit because I could have saved the life. Even if even if your guys picked her up and brought her back to Waffle House, he would have came back and took her home and probably killed her at the house.

SPEAKER_02 30:50

The thing is, too, is like I I've also at the same time, it's like somebody who's like willing to kill their wife, like the show would have killed my ass too, if like I was in the car with her.

SPEAKER_04 30:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:58

So like Dante might have in a way saved my life.

SPEAKER_04 31:02

If you're gonna kill your wife in front of your kid. You don't give a fuck at all. Running her over is probably the least dramatic thing you can do.

SPEAKER_01 31:10

Yeah, because the video here's like, fuck this. Yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_04 31:14

I mean, that's that's so terrified. Um man, that makes me feel like yucky. I don't like this. He's just playing playing like baby shark and the kid.

SPEAKER_02 31:28

It sucks to joke about it. It is a funny thing.

SPEAKER_03 31:30

To be fair, if you if you're running away from your life, why the fuck are you running down goddamn the highway? On a belly full of waffles also on a highway. On a belly full of waffles, too. There was literally a neighborhood right there.

SPEAKER_02 31:40

There's worse last meals you could have than Waffle House before you get like. Well, I think Waffle House might be the best last meals. Before you meet your maker, I think Waffle House is actually a pretty solid. Dude, I'm gonna be honest with you. Like last meal type shit. I I don't know why this has crossed my mind ever, because I God forbid, I hope I'm I'm never going to prison. But I always think of like, yo, you know. You have prison face. You're like that's fine. Why? Wait, so so I always think of like what your last meal would be. I dude, Waffle House crosses my mind every time. I'm like, bro, I would just bro bring me 12 blueberry waffles in a fucking hash brown bowl. I'll fucking it all. I think of like law-abiding citizen. You like you find a way to like blackmail or some shit. I would get framed. I'm letting though right now, if I'm ever in prison, I didn't do it.

SPEAKER_00 32:28

You're getting like Michelin star restaurants or something like that, and like you're just bringing in just obscene amount of the Waffle House.

SPEAKER_02 32:34

Yeah, you bring the fry cooks in there, he's like, oh, I've been in jail before. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 32:39

I'm doing milk and cookies in private. For sure.

SPEAKER_02 32:43

You bring in Waffle House as your last meal. That is a the definitely, oh, this motherfucker definitely did it. I'm pretty sure. He definitely did it. He doesn't even want steak and eggs. This guy definitely did it. But Wagu was an option. He got he picked Waffle House. This guy's guilty.

SPEAKER_04 32:59

I wonder if like Guy Fieri's ever cooked anybody's last meal.

SPEAKER_02 33:02

Guy Fieri?

SPEAKER_04 33:03

Or Gordon Ramsey or somebody like that?

SPEAKER_02 33:05

That would be so fucking funny. Cooking your last meal. Such a funny sketch. Bro, that gangster right there. Whoa! This is gonna be fucking shit. You killed your wife. Oh man. Oh, yeah. My wife's a bitch sometimes, too. Wow, this flaymols to die for. Am I right?

SPEAKER_04 33:39

Killed his family. I killed it in the kitchen. Something. I don't know. That's so fucking kid that would that fly.

SPEAKER_00 33:44

Actually, it wouldn't be a good dude. That's a good sketch. That's a good sketch. We can do that. We can do that. It's your last meal.

SPEAKER_04 33:50

Bring it guy fieri. Dude, imagine like you're about to get put in the electric chair and some guy just keeps doing this to you. My nell already? I'd rather Gordon Ramsey.

SPEAKER_01 33:59

Are you the devil, Guy Fieri?

SPEAKER_04 34:01

Gordon Ramsey?

SPEAKER_01 34:02

You fucking taunt.

SPEAKER_04 34:04

No, actually, like that'd be killed. Imagine, I'm already gonna die. Why do you keep insulting me?

SPEAKER_02 34:08

Funny end to the sketch is like like like like Guy Fieri like breaks like the like the fourth wall, and he's like, I was sent here by Satan. Guy Fieri might be the devil, dude.

SPEAKER_00 34:19

His his uh his like fucking frosted tips suddenly just kind of form my horns.

SPEAKER_02 34:25

Bro, I've eaten at Guy Fieri's restaurant. It's just the it's Brad Robin.

SPEAKER_00 34:29

It's just that's what you would expect from a guy's hamburger. His palate is so fucked from like everything he's tried, dude.

SPEAKER_02 34:36

It's like, oh, fried hamburger.

SPEAKER_04 34:40

Isn't that trying anything like cool? Well, it's like cool, but nothing like uh it's not fancy shit at all, dude.

SPEAKER_02 34:46

He's like no he he his restaurant looks like a menu made by a guy who paints the bowl every time. Bro, you get like fucking sliders in a Balenciaga price tag. It's fucking ridiculous, bro. I hate they're in Vegas. Granted, it was in Vegas, so it's probably a little more expensive.

SPEAKER_00 35:04

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:04

But like I remember like we ordered like an appetizer and it was like jalapeno poppers. These motherfuckers I was expecting like I don't know what I was expecting, but it was like three jalapeno poppers like this big. They were like fucking 30 bucks.

SPEAKER_04 35:18

I feel like the the food he serves at his restaurant is just like the the frozen meal section, TGIF Fridays meals. Right, it's just Tyson. Yeah, it's just Tyson shit. Chicken nuggets. It has to be or boneless wings or whatever. It's fucking bro, he's just drop shipping food. He's just drop shipping, bro. He has to be.

SPEAKER_02 35:36

That fucking sucks, dude. Another thing that pisses me off too about all like the big cooks and shit, is like I'm a big dude, bro. If I'm paying top dollar for some food and you bring me out a little Sam's Club sample size, like this much food on the plate, you know how fucking livid I'm gonna be. You know what I mean? Like every single time you see like the Michelin star restaurants, they bring you out the food and there's like this much food on the plate, and the drizzle across it looks all pretty. That's like a sample.

SPEAKER_04 36:01

I don't think the attitude that these Michelin star chefs have. They walk around like they're like fucking Tom Brady or something. Like and have this like attitude of like, I'm the fuck like bruh, you cook the fucking medium rare steak and like put some sauce on it. Like, I don't understand. I've been fucking up medium rare steak since I was 19. You cooked really good, chill the fuck out, dude. Stop being so mean. They they I don't understand why they also have such an attitude. When you're probably they expected you to eat Chick-fil-A beforehand.

SPEAKER_02 36:29

They're like, when this guy clearly ate Chick-fil-A. If I'm going for a five-star experience, I'm probably gonna get Chick-fil-A. This guy, this guy for sure ate Chick-fil-A in five minutes. They should scarf that shit down.

SPEAKER_05 36:39

I've had to eat, dude.

SPEAKER_02 36:40

I don't know. I I to your point, like I remember uh the Gordon Rand, like I actually I listened to like his like like his like uh it was like a like a biography, like memoir type shit or whatever. Yeah. It's like I think he wrote like this one came out in like 2006, so he obviously got bigger since then, but this is like he had clearly made it since then. It was like him working with uh Marco Pierre White. That shit's always interesting. Marco Pierre White's such a fucking asshole. I don't even know who that is.

SPEAKER_00 37:04

That was like Gordon Ramsay's uh like mentor who was like way more of a dickhead.

SPEAKER_04 37:08

Why is there mentors for fucking cooking? Yeah, like it brought my mentor for cooking is my fucking grandmother.

SPEAKER_02 37:15

Well, you mentor cooking was YouTube. Like for I mean for that high of level to where you're gonna be like, you know, you could potentially be worth tens of millions of dollars. It makes sense that you would have like a mentor in the past. I get it, but you say you say mentor, and I think of like the ninja turtles in like master sensor. Master Splinter. To me, like the best food I've ever had is always Master Salt's salsa. Yeah, master salsa, master salsa. That well, I mean, like I don't I don't get it either. Like I'm fucking I'm from a working class family. Like I don't uh maybe at some point in my life I'll I'll I'll fuck with a Michelin star restaurant now that Manhattan has a decent amount of Michelin star restaurants. But like they do. There's so many good restaurants that you you can eat at at the price range of like all right, two people is probably gonna be 60 bucks a person. You can get a phenomenal meal. I don't understand the um you know $200 a person tasting menu.

SPEAKER_05 38:04

It's like not really my like I fucking No, because if I really like something, I'm gonna want to taste it more.

SPEAKER_02 38:09

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I get like you know, like you go to one of those nice types of restaurants and you're like, alright, like the bill is gonna be somewhere between 100 and 150 bucks. We're gonna get a really good appetizer, cocktails, entree, maybe dessert.

SPEAKER_00 38:21

And like it's it's hard to see like something's gonna be that much better than that. You know what I mean? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 38:27

I can get like the taste to stuff with like if you're like for like a night out, I guess like when you hit 40, it's like maybe we'll go to this tasting or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I don't know socially, but I would never go by myself to like a $300 tasting. Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_02 38:45

But this is like the gluttony in me speaking. When it comes to food, I'm like a quantity over quality guy almost, bro. I love the feeling of being full. You have gas station taste buds, bro. Yeah, I fucking fight, bro. But you know what? I have Japanese gas station taste buds. Like my I'm eating good. I'm just also getting quantity. Nah, dude, you're you're in Little Caesar's fucking uh nacho sauce pieces. In Little Caesar's slaps. Top of Lil' Caesars don't slap it. A five dollar hot and ready, great. It's hard to beat, bro, especially when a bitch in your ear talking about this shit in the ass.

SPEAKER_04 39:15

The best food I've ever had is always like uh like some type of like foreign food or like a hole in the wall place that's like barely staying alive. Yeah, mom and pop shops.

SPEAKER_05 39:22

Yeah, mom and pop shops are the best.

SPEAKER_04 39:24

Indian food, Thai food. Like I ate at a fucking Thai restaurant that was inside of a gas station in Galveston. Or I'm sorry, Indian restaurant that was inside of a gas station. That sounds foul.

SPEAKER_02 39:34

That sounds so.

SPEAKER_04 39:35

No, it's a good thing. No, I bet it was gas. I bet it was gas. Literally, probably like top three Indian places I've ever eaten at that. It's inside of a gas station. Inside of a but they've got so you got the gas station side, and the other half of the gas station is a restaurant. This shit was like fucking $30. Like it was still very expensive.

SPEAKER_02 39:58

Dude, delicious. I don't know if you're gonna be honest with you, I eat on Indian food. I don't think I've ever really had Indian food. I'll take it easily. Your whole that explains everything, bro. Your whole attitude will it'll change, but it'll fit you up. You think it will?

SPEAKER_04 40:15

There's I mean, there's a fire, bro.

SPEAKER_02 40:17

You know, you know, that's fair because I don't like my Mexican family, but when they throw down on the food, I'm like blind for the case. You act a certain way if you're like actually fucking people's taste buds up like that, you'd be like Well, it's yummy, and it's even yummier when you realize that they're cooking the food and they wipe their ass with their hand too while they cook it, and you don't even realize probiotics seasoning yellows yummier, bro. It's good. Everything comes in like I'll try it out of a fucking gas station.

SPEAKER_04 40:42

Every meat comes in like a bowl of sauce, and they give you another thing of rice. But the naan, the garlic naan. Oh, dude, not bread's fire. That dipping that in the sauce of whatever meat you got, there's no there's nothing to do with it.

SPEAKER_02 40:53

It's fire, and like that's the most that's that's the least flavorful thing you'll eat in that meal. Exactly. And it's that good. Exactly. So Indian food really stops like that? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:00

It's good shit.

SPEAKER_04 41:01

Yeah, plus chicken tiki masala. Bro, just try like chicken berry honey. Chicken beryani, bro.

SPEAKER_03 41:06

Keep it simple. It's it's like Indian chicken fried rice.

SPEAKER_04 41:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:08

It's like chicken and rice.

SPEAKER_04 41:09

It's really fucking good. It's really fucking good. If you're not busy this weekend, I'm not busy at all. Well, you are busy this weekend. Uh don't eat Indian food in San Antonio, please. I'm not gonna do that. No, wait. Are you coming back on Sunday? I am, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:23

How do we not put that on the fucking missed that on the Don't worry, bro?

SPEAKER_05 41:26

We talked about it last week.

SPEAKER_02 41:27

I mentioned it. You're gonna go okay.

SPEAKER_05 41:29

Yeah, I'm seeing Kanye, bro. I'm seeing Kanyezy.

SPEAKER_02 41:31

I'll tell you, I'm probably gonna wear mascara so everyone knows I'm a true fan whenever I cry. Just the mascara just leaking down my face. He comes out if I just fuck this model. And she just bleached her ass hard. I've just got mascara fucking running down my face though. Out of all the bars, it's the one that makes you crazy. If I hear him play Come to Life live, I might cry, actually. You might come? I might I'm gonna come.

SPEAKER_04 41:52

I was like sending that song to my family members, expecting them to listen to a Kanye song. Never even replied to me. Yeah, that song when it first dropped got me pretty nice.

SPEAKER_02 42:00

Dude, that song made me emotional as fuck when I heard that song.

SPEAKER_04 42:04

Gosh, bro.

SPEAKER_02 42:06

I don't give a fuck, bro. People say what they want.

SPEAKER_04 42:08

I do, yeah. I mean, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:09

Someone out there, their favorite band is you two. So I don't give a fuck what they have to say about me liking Kanye. I mean, Kanye's the best rapper of all the years. He's the fucking greatest. He's the goat. I think so.

SPEAKER_04 42:19

I told one of my coaches that uh Oasis was my favorite band, and he said, Oh, that's kind of gay.

SPEAKER_02 42:24

Is that like a right now thing? Also, that is kind of gay. That's why I'm asking if that's a right now thing. No, it's not gay at all.

SPEAKER_04 42:30

Appreciate it. But uh No, I love Oasis too. They're my favorite. Like all to like not like my I don't think they're the best band of all time, but my personal favorite, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:38

Really? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 42:39

Oasis? Oasis, yeah. They're gonna come to North America in 2027, and I'm going, dude. I'm going. I mean, I'll go with you. I feel like uh, I mean, I don't know. I like the way that they do things over there. It's like work, don't even go home, go straight to the pub, get hammered, go home, go to work, and then do the same thing the next day. They're born in Ireland, but they were brought up like in the UK. Uh I don't know. I just like that that aspect of European lifestyle where it's like, alright, work's done, we're gonna get fucked up now, all together at a pub. If there's a soccer game on, that's cool. If not, we're still gonna get fucked up. I think that's I don't know. I think that's cool. There's a lot of that here in America, but then there's also like a lot of wives that are like, what the fuck are you doing? It's clear, it's normal.

SPEAKER_05 43:19

There's something in the water because over here, like Americans, like they do the same thing, they get fucked up, but they only live till they're 50 something.

SPEAKER_04 43:25

Exactly.

SPEAKER_05 43:26

Why do they over the 90s still drinking?

SPEAKER_03 43:28

What the fuck's going on? Walk to the pubs. And they smoke. They actually move around.

SPEAKER_02 43:34

Move their body, bro. Yeah. They actually go out. Yeah, that's why they're running through public transport. I am Irish.

SPEAKER_04 43:40

You're not fucking Irish, you're brown.

SPEAKER_00 43:42

Uncle Ruck. Get this fucking. Don't ever tell me I'm away from me.

SPEAKER_04 43:45

I'm Irish, dude. You're not fun. Don't ever fucking say that.

SPEAKER_02 43:47

I can do that fucking Macarega accent like nobody else. I do not care.

SPEAKER_04 43:51

Well, I can't fucking Irish, dude. Shout out to my boys in Belfast.

SPEAKER_02 43:58

I fuck with the Irish people.

SPEAKER_04 44:00

Irish is awesome.

SPEAKER_05 44:01

I do fuck with the Irish people. Are they in the World Cup? Nah.

SPEAKER_02 44:04

Ireland Ireland was tight. They didn't really. You been to Ireland? Yeah. I've been fucking World Cup. I was ready with that tight comedian, right? How many countries have you been to, Huey? Dude, in the last year, I think it was like five. Holy shit. Damn. Yeah, dude. This is gonna be at the end when this year is all sudden done, this might be probably the best year of my life. Passport Jimbo, dude. Passport Jimbo? Same.

SPEAKER_04 44:24

Yeah. It's a great year. 2026 has been a great year. As an adult, this is like adult 2016.

SPEAKER_02 44:30

Yeah, we killed Iran. Let's see. What else did we do? We killed Palestine.

SPEAKER_04 44:34

Everybody's getting rich off of it.

SPEAKER_05 44:36

Continuous scroll. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:37

This is our 2026 2016. We get to get out of here. You know what? I'm not. This has been a great year.

SPEAKER_02 44:42

I got married. I'm seeing Kanye. I'm going back to Rotan. I'm going to Iceland River Trip again. Uh. I guess that's fucking about it. I don't really do much. The World Cup is. No, from this time last year, like I feel like it kicked off. I went like out of the country. Started the podcast. We started the podcast this year. I went out of the country for the first time in like last June. Like around like this time. Like it was I went to Belize. And then fucking had your birth your bachelor party. Yeah. And then went to Europe. And then fucking met that comedian. Who still actually I still do want to hit up. And he was down to do. I mean, obviously there's a big time difference, like six hour time difference. Yeah. That guy actually was fucking funny. Like really. Tell him, bro. Like, hey, dude, if you ever come to America for any reason, you're in Texas. Bro, I took your advice. We started a podcast. You should come crash the podcast. Yeah, bro. He would he would he would crush. Uh fucking get him on, bro. A black guy that sounds like Shrek, that sounds like the fucking best time ever. At Black Irish Comic. Dude, shout out Black Irish Comic.

SPEAKER_04 45:39

Dude, uh Would y'all be down to go to Vietnam?

SPEAKER_02 45:42

Fuck no. It's also like a little bit.

SPEAKER_04 45:47

I mean, yeah. But look up like travel videos from Vietnam. Yeah, you get it. And then and then let me know.

SPEAKER_02 45:53

You have to watch where you step a little bit. But other than that, it seems like a cool place. Hanoi Vietnam. What is Vietnam's all the biggest hold on, bro?

SPEAKER_00 46:01

Hanoi, dude, fucking Hanoi Hannah. I was not aware of this lore. I guess it was like it came right up whenever I looked on YouTube, but someone was telling me about it.

SPEAKER_02 46:10

Like whenever the soldiers were in Vietnam, you know, in the jungle and shit, they would just put speakers and play this woman, Hanoi Hannah, saying, Defect, G.I. Your government has abandoned you. Your government gets rich while you die in the swamp. You're gonna die, and they're gonna give you a medal afterwards. And no one will remember you. Yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_04 46:35

She said GI after every phrase she said, she said GI GI and die.

SPEAKER_02 46:39

Like consistently there's like rhymes throughout the fucking thing.

SPEAKER_04 46:42

It's very like eerie and scary. It's very, very eerie, very monotone. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:46

Like it's meant to sound like very robotic.

SPEAKER_04 46:48

It was like I'm not gonna lie, she sounded hot as fuck. It was AI.

SPEAKER_00 46:53

If you see a picture of her, dude, the way she's pic like the way she's posing for like that sound bite, it looks like it's like a greatest hits album that you would see like on like those infomercials where like oh Reba McIntyre.

SPEAKER_02 47:06

Reba McIntyre greatest hits, volume three.

SPEAKER_00 47:10

And she's just like posing fucking sideways. And she's just saying just like the most terrible, like or not she's like she's saying things object objective truths, actually.

SPEAKER_02 47:20

Yeah, she's saying objective truths to these like military. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. Like most of that shit, she was right, she's just spot on.

SPEAKER_04 47:26

I mean, it was kind of almost like uh like a sincere thing. It was a scare tactic, but it was also kind of like uh I mean your government is like fucking it, like I've I've a like uh interesting idea.

SPEAKER_02 47:36

Like, who would uh if we got invaded, like who would our Hanoi Hannah be? Would it be like Sabrina Carpenter? Yeah, please, please, please stop invading. That's Caitlin Jenner. It's Caitlin Jinner. Who would be our Hanoi Hannah?

SPEAKER_01 47:54

Knock it off. Cut it out. I am a woman. I am Hanoi Hannah.

SPEAKER_04 48:00

I mean, I think it's gotta be Sabrina Carpenter. I would think she has like a very light voice, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:06

And she's like, yeah, she's like like a big enough star here. Like her or like I don't know, like fucking Hannah Montagne. But the thing is she's Hannah Montaine would have to come back. Bro, if Miley Saras told me I was gonna die and my coach is gonna hate me. I'm like, well, bitch, so be it. You should, bro. And I'm gonna go out like a hero. This bitch is annoying. We need to take this place out. Yeah, dude. Fucking drop the bomb, bro. It's like uh it's like Meg the Stallion. Oh, dude. Just a GI at the end of it. Give up.

SPEAKER_05 48:35

Your country hates your ass.

SPEAKER_00 48:39

You ain't getting 722, you ain't getting 72 virgins. Yelling at like fucking uh like radical, like radical Islam insurgents.

SPEAKER_02 48:50

That fucking sucks, bro. Bro, that's the last thing I don't want to hear, bro. Muhammad the Pebpa.

SPEAKER_01 49:03

I hate Muhammad Ali.

SPEAKER_02 49:12

I don't know who it'd be. It probably most likely would be a transgender though.

SPEAKER_04 49:16

You really why?

SPEAKER_02 49:18

It just goes like that's the most the what?

SPEAKER_04 49:20

The Bud Light girl guy.

SPEAKER_02 49:21

Oh, yeah, Dylan Mulvaney? Yeah. Is that his name? Did I get that right? I think so. Who's the who's the uh uh drinking jack off by my father? Ella Langley. Oh, dude. Oh, dude, she's for sure.

SPEAKER_04 49:32

Southern accent? Yeah. Yeah, she's gonna be able to do that. We'll save that one for when uh another civil war. She's for sure gonna be the uh Hunua Hannah. Hey, the US men's team listening to Ella Langley on the bus. Well that bro. We're bringing it home. I don't give a fuck.

SPEAKER_02 49:49

We're doing it.

SPEAKER_04 49:50

Ugh. We're doing it.

SPEAKER_02 49:52

I'm excited, dude. Um I'm I honestly I can't lie to you. Other than there's a part of me that's kind of upset that I'm gonna go see Connie, I'm gonna miss some of the World Cup.

SPEAKER_04 50:02

Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, until the World World Cup is over, I think uh I don't think I'm gonna be worth anything on this podcast because uh it's all I've been thinking about. I know that we have about 13 minutes until the next game starts. Yeah. So constantly I'm I'm counting down every five minutes on my in my head.

SPEAKER_02 50:16

You're gonna be able to pay you're gonna be able to talk on the mic still while the game's on, or I need to put that on pause.

SPEAKER_04 50:20

Yeah, are we gonna do another 30? You know, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I just need to I feel like something's missing, and I don't feel like myself. I need to game. Was a void? Yeah, the FIFA World Cup is filling it. Yeah. Well, I was exactly right. There is 13 exactly 13 minutes until the game comes on, by the way.

SPEAKER_02 50:37

I was right. Before you go into the concert, you should just like and then you before you like, you know, stop going on your phone, like just put on like a fucking crazy bet. Yeah. All the endorphins coming back from Kanye and then just imagine you get a dub. Yeah. In the worst case scenario, like I lose 20 bucks. No, I'm talking about like a fat bet. And you and you're just gonna you're like, you're already gonna have so many endorphins that's gonna be like, and then yeah, either you won't care or riding that, you'll feel like you're on like fucking cocaine. I can't bet on something if I'm not watching it though. Alex, that's stupid. That's stupid.

SPEAKER_04 51:08

So you know you're more likely to hit your bet if you do not watch the game.

SPEAKER_02 51:10

Who said who the fuck said that?

SPEAKER_04 51:12

Look, there's a study on it. Look it up. I swear to God. Yeah, pull up.

SPEAKER_02 51:15

Dante, pull it up. Pull up PubMed. One time for you.

SPEAKER_04 51:18

Look up uh is your bet more likely to hit if you do not watch the game? And don't pull up like the AI answer. Go to like some shitty ass fucking betting website's answer.

SPEAKER_02 51:26

Go to go to PubMed. Public medical journal.

SPEAKER_05 51:31

It's like medical journals.

SPEAKER_02 51:34

This isn't even a medical journal. This is a scholarly ass podcast, bro. Alright. We read PubMed. We cite our sources, we use MLA format.

SPEAKER_03 51:44

That's such a retard question. And AMA format. That is a retard question. No watch, not watching a sporting event. Well, is this the answer from Google? Who's telling you this?

SPEAKER_02 51:57

You're gonna keep searching until you find the answer you want. No, just go to a betting website. They want you to bet more.

SPEAKER_03 52:07

They want you to believe in dumb shit like that. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. I mean, it says no. I mean, it just a bunch of bullshit about shit. You just pull that out of your ass? Yeah. Hey, I respect it.

SPEAKER_02 52:17

I respect it. I did. You almost got me to double down on my bet tonight and just go to sleep.

SPEAKER_04 52:21

No, don't go to sleep, stay awake and double down. Because it just got proven wrong. So if you watch it, you're more likely to win, is basically what that's saying. Where are they playing tonight? I don't fucking know. Probably Mexico or something.

SPEAKER_02 52:31

I feel like they've only been playing like four different cities.

SPEAKER_03 52:33

They've been playing all over the place. Really? Yeah. I've seen Atlanta. The U.S. team is is really only US team's all West Coast.

SPEAKER_04 52:40

Yeah, Seattle, California, San Francisco.

SPEAKER_03 52:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 52:44

For the time zone.

SPEAKER_03 52:45

They make it the distance.

SPEAKER_05 52:47

Bro, USA, you think well, okay, be honest, not so. You think we got the next game? Without Balogun?

SPEAKER_03 52:51

Yeah, yeah. I think we definitely have a chance. 100%. It's Belgium. Belgium.

SPEAKER_04 52:55

Belgium, yeah. Belgium. Belgium. Who's looked mid all tournament?

SPEAKER_03 52:58

It sucks because I mean last week. Easily the best thing that this U.S. team has seen. His name is Balaboom. Balagoon.

SPEAKER_04 53:08

Balagoon. Balagoon. Balagoon. Flo.

SPEAKER_03 53:11

Falarin Balagoon.

SPEAKER_04 53:13

A Nigerian American striker. He's nice. He's nice. Beautiful. Absolutely world-class talent. Unbelievable. I mean, he's gonna, after this World Cup, whatever team he's playing on now, he will not be playing for them anymore.

SPEAKER_03 53:26

No, no, no. He's pretty yeah, he's playing at Monaco right now. He's going to like a big club. Yeah, he's gonna be at a club.

SPEAKER_04 53:33

Yeah, he's gonna be like a FIFA pack pool for sure. Or I'm sorry, FC 26.

SPEAKER_02 53:37

You think he's going to Real Madrid?

SPEAKER_03 53:39

Uh I don't think that big. I mean, Mbappe's there. I don't think there's room. I mean, he'll he'll go to a nice club. I like to see him. He'll go to like a top European club.

SPEAKER_04 53:47

And maybe like Tottenham or something.

SPEAKER_03 53:49

Yeah, something like that. He'll go to like a top Premier League club, top La Liga club. Yeah. He's gonna go to a like a good team. Who is he playing right now? AS Monaco.

SPEAKER_05 53:58

Oh yeah. This is all new to me, bro.

SPEAKER_03 54:01

Yeah, is that the same? Is that not the same?

SPEAKER_04 54:05

AC Milan or the fuck? Yes.

SPEAKER_05 54:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 54:08

So I mean there's a lot of talent over there still, but a lot of it is like not guys on their way out, but guys on their way out before they go on their way out to MLS. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 54:17

Kind of like like no, are you talking about the league that they're in? Yeah. No, it's the Italian league. Like, you know, it's you have five main leagues in the world. You know what I mean? Italy, Spain, England, Germany. Germany. Um forgetting one.

SPEAKER_04 54:34

Um France.

SPEAKER_03 54:36

France, yeah. Those are the five main soccer leagues in the world.

SPEAKER_04 54:40

It sucks that MLS is like a retirement home.

SPEAKER_03 54:43

It is.

SPEAKER_04 54:44

It really sucks. I feel like but I also feel like the MLS is gonna trend upwards after this World Cup. I think there's gonna be a lot more fans. Maybe. Not like up to the top five level, but I mean we've got we we got fucking messy.

SPEAKER_03 55:00

I mean, that's huge. That is huge for the MLS. I don't even watch MLS, though. I don't even watch it.

SPEAKER_02 55:06

I don't know. Alright guys, enough with the fucking soccer talk, dude. This is like this is not Telemundo. This is room 10 beers. I mean, it might as well be telemundo. They're talking about the fucking Italian Gabagul League? I don't know what the fuck. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 55:18

Liga Laga? What do you call that shit? Legal Liga what?

SPEAKER_02 55:21

La Liga. Lapaliga. La Liga.

SPEAKER_03 55:24

Shit, dude. Sounds like what if there's like a random like European soccer fan watching the shit? He's like, fucking hell yeah, dude. Yeah, I'd rather be a little bit more than a little bit.

SPEAKER_04 55:32

Those two guys on the couch are fucking scallywild. We can talk about eating box for sure. We can talk about eating in the penalty box.

SPEAKER_01 55:42

Oh!

unknown 55:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 55:43

Yeah, that's just when you eat somebody out on the period.

SPEAKER_00 55:47

Nice.

SPEAKER_04 55:48

The red cards for sure.

SPEAKER_06 55:50

Hey, red card. Hey, that was actually that was, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 55:55

Accidentally funny on the podcast where I'm supposed to be purposely funny. That's good stuff, man. Fuck this fucking shit. That was funny.

SPEAKER_02 56:02

You know what pisses me off is uh I've been trying so hard to go make this podcast go viral. And uh Peyton went viral on behalf, it's on the like on behalf of me, she went viral, and like it's just like not in favor of me. Could it could it be that she has 20,000 followers? I guess that has something to do with it. And it could it be that a lot of her views probably already get or a lot of her videos already get like way, way, way, way, way more views.

SPEAKER_04 56:29

How many followers did Judaism have in the Old Testament? How many followers did Christ have? We're gonna beat her in the end. That's fair. We're gonna beat her in the end. That's fair, dude. In the end we win. Yes. Except the Israel can't beat her. Israel wins written. The Jews are still winning for now. But we're gonna play this out.

SPEAKER_02 56:46

Yeah, dude, she went she went fucking ultra viral on a video, and like all the comments were just talking about how fucking gay I am. Because there's like a two-second video of me licking cake off my finger. Have you seen the video yet? Yeah, yeah. I thought it was hilarious. I don't remember that. Oh my god, it's funny. I was just like, dude, the comments are just tearing my ass apart. Yeah, it it it's it really the other half of the comments are saying she should die for this. Yeah, you're seeing your death threat is a good thing. That's all your Muslim fans. That's your Muslim brother. That's the Muslim caliphate. Yeah, bro. Going to bat for you, dude. They're like, what look what? What have you done? My brother, dude. They're like, brother. First of all, this man is gay. Second of all, you should die and be stoned to death. Yeah, bro. Get these thumbs from the lake. And you know what? None of the comments that were calling me gay were even like pissing me off. And so they started saying I was a twink. And I'm like, yeah, I'm a fucking bear, dude. Dude, if it makes you feel any twink, brother, you're big to me. You're a whole ass ladle. All right. Don't let anyone tell you differently. Yeah, dude. Super gay. Uh well, you know, whenever you see shit like that and you actually know the person and you're like, damn, like, let me go through like, I wonder if I've ever reacted. Like, or even if you didn't comment, because once you comment, that's like, alright, that's super lame. But like, if you've ever just thought, like, oh, this person thing, I'm like, I wonder how many weird out-of-context shit that I've seen. I just literally don't know the whole story. I'm like, yeah. I mean, you do get pegged, but like, it's not like no. Uh that's what the comments were saying. The comments were saying, like, she definitely pegs him and all types of shit, bro.

SPEAKER_00 58:22

I'm like, no, it's it's the it's funny, like knowing you the juxtaposition of like this man like has hands.

SPEAKER_02 58:30

That's what everybody was trying to make me feel better. No, no, no. Like, if only they knew Alec in real life, if only they knew it. I was like, yeah, but they don't. And now there's eight million people who think I'm a fucking just cocksucker, bro. Like this fucking.

SPEAKER_04 58:44

If it makes you feel there's three people in this room who also think you're a cocksucker. Who know? They know you're a cocksucker. Those eight million people are not alone.

SPEAKER_02 58:55

All right, let's take a break. I wanna go smoke a smoke a stove. Let's put the game on, smoke a stove. We're back. We're back to soccer. We're back. We're back to the soccer's on. Soccer goonies.

SPEAKER_04 59:05

I've come to life. Oh, I have a beer. Here we are. Hey, they're right here. They're right here, brother. Does anybody need a beer right now?

SPEAKER_03 59:16

I think we're good.

SPEAKER_02 59:18

Switzerland's up, dude.

SPEAKER_05 59:18

I cashed out on my bet earlier too.

SPEAKER_02 59:20

You guys were like, yeah, you should just cash out on Switzerland. You know, it actually tossed me another beer. I would have made another $90 if they win.

SPEAKER_04 59:33

Algeria's gonna score very soon.

SPEAKER_02 59:35

I took both teams to score. I'm gonna cash out, bro. Not not like actually cash out. Like I meant like I'm gonna like I'm gonna fucking. You're gonna bankroll, yeah. I'm gonna hit that shit. I'm gonna hit that John Doll for real. Yeah, man. I'm a soccer fan now, bro. Like, I mean, it takes a lot for me to admit it, but you know what? I got the balls to admit it. Cashing out by cash out still growth. I get it.

SPEAKER_04 59:57

Hey, it's pretty awesome.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:02

Yeah, I'm uh I'm a fan. I I love the just like the the you know the patriotism of every country.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:07

Like I even if I don't like a country, like I respect it.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:10

Like, with uh with Premier League, you have Brits wanting to kill each other over like patriotism over what part of town they live in.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:19

That is crazy too.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:20

Like everyone they will like shut down like public transport for the opposing team to try to keep them separate from each other so they don't fucking hurt each other. There's a video I'll send you, but there's a moment of silence for like a fan or something that had passed away from an opposing team at a moment of silence, and the other team starts yelling from the bench. Like saying the brawl almost breaks out from across. Awesome disrespectful shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:41

Yeah, holy shit, dude.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:42

It's like bloods and grips over there.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:44

It literally that's well, aside from like the machete murders and stuff, the closest thing to a gang is is soccer over there.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:50

Yeah, they have like a word for it. Hooliganism or whatever.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:54

Yeah, something, yeah, yeah. Yeah. There were cartels in Mexico that threatened the Ecuadorian players.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:59

Oh, I get it from like yeah, they hit up five different players. Yeah. I understand it from Mexico. Yeah, Ecuador comes out looking lazy as fuck, fucked me on my cash. There was another team. There's another South. Yeah, Ecuador's a major underdog in a market where it should have been more like 6040. I mean, Mexico whooped them, but I mean, if the cartel said they were gonna cut my head off if I won a soccer game, I'd I'd bro.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:22

If I was Hispanic, bro, like if I was like representing the Hispanic team, I would be scared. Yeah.

unknown 1:01:27

Fuck.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:28

There's another South American team that, like, the president or wherever the leader is the country cancelled the players' flights. Yeah. And like made them figure out their own way home.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:39

That's fucking bro.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:40

Soccer's like the military, bro. You gotta hit the plane. This is war.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:45

This is literally war. Can you do that?

SPEAKER_03 1:01:47

How are you allowed to do that shit? I don't know. I don't know. I mean, you found a way. I think it was like Guatemala, some shit like that.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:52

Oh, the short guys that were never gonna win. They're like, fuck this. Fuck this, man. If Guatemala has to go against Norway, they're fucked. They're like everybody's six foot eight over there. All the Vikings going against the little Guatemalans, dude.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:08

The Netherlands are so fucking dude. That team is such a big thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:11

I always heard the Dutch were like super tall too.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:14

Yeah, the Dutch. Is that the Netherlands?

SPEAKER_04 1:02:18

And also, I fucking hate Morocco. I've got like the Netherlands, right? Yeah, I've got like personal beef with them. They're I think like Islam or something like that. They're one of their goal celebrations was slit in the throat, pointing up to the sky and saying Allah Wakbar. Really? Yeah. I told you who. Yeah. I told you who can't point finger guns. Switzerland. Thank goodness.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:43

Oh goodness.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:45

But I mean some of the go some of those guys are cool, but most of them are not. Whatever. That's beside the point. But I've got I've got serious beef with uh Morocco right now. Which is the same as saying I have beef with the Netherlands since the majority of Morocco lives in the fucking Netherlands now.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:59

Did they actually?

SPEAKER_04 1:03:00

Yeah, those are whole things. So a bunch of Morocco lives in the Netherlands on like refugee stuff, immigration stuff. And uh the Moroccans had a big like a big like in-the-street parade after Morocco beat the Netherlands. In the Netherlands. Moroccans that live in the Netherlands had a big parade. Nothing but just like Dutch police beating the shit out of people with nights sticks. So like brown guys in dresses and stuff. They were beating the fuck out of them. But honestly, like to me, I mean, I don't know. Refugee immigration, if you're gonna go somewhere, act like don't represent like where you're fleeing, represent where you are. I mean that shouldn't be a hot take, to be honest. I think uh if you're seeking refuge somewhere, your country's not safe, it's probably time to stop repping them and rep the people that gave you the World Cup safety.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:51

I don't think they're you think they're repping their laws in the Netherlands?

SPEAKER_04 1:03:55

Uh yeah, I've actually been reading up on it uh for my own reasons, and they are. You're still trying to go there. Yeah, Sharie law is yeah, but then also there's like Dutch guys. Uh I don't know. Same thing as here, really.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:08

Wait, why is it why are they called the Dut the Netherlands? Why is it Dutch? Why is it the same thing? They're Dutch.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:14

The Netherlands?

SPEAKER_05 1:04:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:15

That's the You know the Netherlands has a higher English speaking rate than the United States does?

SPEAKER_05 1:04:19

How the fuck does that make sense?

SPEAKER_04 1:04:20

93 to 91.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:22

We have a lane we don't have a 91% English speaking rate? Yeah. In the United States? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:27

No way. Netherlands is 93.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:29

No fucking way.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:30

Look it up. As of 2026.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:32

I'll look it up. Dante, give that a goog. I'm not buying it. I'll look it up.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:36

I mean, you don't have to buy it, I'm selling it. Somebody will.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:40

What about C Netherlands? Yeah, it's like half of Morocco like speaks French.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:48

This was confusing to me.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:50

Wow. Netherlands has the highest non-native English proficient proficiency in the world. Did they all learn English just to spit on you and let you know that y'all ain't shit? In contrast, approximately 82% of American United States.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:04

Hey, look up uh look up if uh the Dutch accept American immigrants. Because they do at a very high rate.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:10

Well, no, but but yeah, just to let y'all know, like y'all ain't shit.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:13

No, the Dutch love Americans. You think so? Absolutely. That's there's Daft, the Dutch American Friendship Treaty. They have a long history of being friends. Politics aren't the same, but AI says yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:28

90 days without a visa.

unknown 1:05:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:31

They give you uh uh Well, let's go to the Netherlands. I am. I am gonna be here, it's very chill. It's official? It's with with the immigration included in this, it is still the safest place in the entire world to raise a family, yeah. So it's official. I mean all all but, yeah. There's Skype, there's all kinds of uh guys could basically get a uh if you get plane tickets, you have a free vacation.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:56

How long is the plane right there?

SPEAKER_04 1:05:58

Not that long. But you know what is You know it's a really short plane ride from the Netherlands. I can pretty much travel everywhere I want to go for like $180 a ticket round trip.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:06

That was the crazy shit. It was just like a day trip. It was like going to Austin. It was like going to the Bronfels. Yeah. Like uh I was talking to this this lady, uh it was this girl and her mom. And uh I remember I just I remember it specifically because her name was Frankie. I was like, I know a Frankie. Her name was Francesca, but she went by Frankie. And her mom was Shabon. Like Shibon, like uh like from Succession. Like Shabon. Shiv. Yeah, Shiv. Yeah. She was like, How do you know that name? I was like, uh fucking TV. Yeah. Uh Ken Roi's sister? Are you kidding, bitch? I was I was talking to her, I was like, I was asking like what part of the UK they live in. Cause somehow, like, we we're just covering a bunch of topics. We talked about like, oh, how was your lockdown? All this shit. She's like, honestly, lockdown for us wasn't that bad. Like, obviously, the UK was like pretty crazy. Um, Spain was like fucking crazy. Like, you know, like curfews, and you like you couldn't go outside like certain times, and like you literally had to like prove like where you were fucking going and stuff. Like really, really locked down. And she's like, honestly, like we're like out in the country, like well, actually, where we're from is like where Hitler wanted to reside after after he was done with it. Like, that was like where he wanted to have his Thanos moment of like just letting the like like he had you know how like the the Germans are bombing all of the UK and everything? Like they were having these big bombing campaigns. He specifically asked they didn't bomb this certain, like like imagine like you're like where was this? Where was this person from? They speak 93% English. It was UK, but it was a certain like uh like borough of the UK, like it'd be like all right, UK countryside or something like that. Yeah, like away from the city. We're bombing like all of uh the lower Manhattan side, but we're leaving um we're leaving Rosharian alone. Yeah. It was shit like that. And uh and what's it called? Yeah, and like yeah, that's where we're at. It's pretty nice. I'm like, okay, you guys are low.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:02

You're going to go in Hitler's paradise. No, you're going to come to the Netherlands and have fun.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:07

Dude, it's great. If you move to the Netherlands, bro, I'm going to kill myself.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:10

Dude, it's literally, there's a it's called Uricht. It's like Netherlands, but without like the tourism and stuff. It's just Netherlands, like a smaller version of it where you still get like the canals and the river houses and riverboats. I feel like it's in its own like little private sector away from Amsterdam.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:24

I'm not I'm not opposing you moving. I'm just saying I feel like you're looking at this through rose tinned glasses to wear the same people who look at like Japan. Like you're you're being people over there that want to come here and like. You're being a you're being a Netherland weeb right now. Dude, Casey.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:37

You're being a weeb. I mean, I'm not like I just need a change of scenery, honestly. Whether it's here or Santatonics, I don't even give a fuck where I like I I just gotta go so and and also the thing is it's uh it's like a a trial thing to where like I'm gonna go over there for a few years and if I don't like it, I'll come back. It's not that big of a deal.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:55

You won't be your friend anymore. Yeah, you will. If you ever stop being my friend, then I'm not gonna be your friend. I'm gonna dude. If you ever move the Netherlands, I'm not gonna be your friend because I'm gonna be dead. I'm gonna kill myself, dude. I'm telling you. Don't kill yourself.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:05

I'm sure.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:07

If the Netherlands is anything like Iceland, they probably have a pretty high suicide rate. So you could probably do it there. Oh, I'll tell you what, the suicide right here is gonna bump up a percentage if GC moves. Just a tiny bit, one big one just one extra person, dude.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:18

One yeah. Well, that's the plan for now, is is like next year. What time next year? Around this, like exactly like almost a calendar year. What if we blow up? Then I'll say, I can't. Then you say what? Then I can't. Dude, we gotta blow the fuck up. I can't.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:33

I mean, I can't leave behind like a this just gives us like a permission to grind harder. We gotta grind hard. I'll quit my job. I mean, yeah, I've I'm I got I'll I'll I'll empty my 401k, I'll enter my Roth RA, and I'll we'll just have like a hype house. I'll go on Phil Tony. We'll just live together. Live together and just generally.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:49

But like for me, like the only way I'm gonna get rich here is is pretty much from plumbing, and that's gonna take me eight years. Plumbing isn't licensed or regulated over there, so I can go and like start a company now.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:59

That's insane. It has to be regulated to some degree to to fuck with their pipes.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:03

I mean, like by the law. It would be like it would be like you would actually not to sl but it would kind of be like India, I imagine, if if there was no regulation.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:13

If it was just like, all right, fucking anyone can just slay bikes.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:16

There's regulations, but it's not bound by the law. Like here, you can you can lose your license for doing shit wrong here, but over there, you can just fuck up nonstop. It's not bound by law. So people can stop using you and like leave you bad stuff, but I mean you won't be out of like your your company still stands.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:35

What if you get over there and like everyone just starts fucking your wife?

SPEAKER_04 1:10:39

Obviously, I'll I'm gonna come back home after I visit the red light districts. I'll figure something out.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:44

Yeah, I had to give my my my get back, but he gets over there and he's like, Yeah, dude, fucking 12 Norwegian guys just came over and just fucking Wait, that's not that's Norway. Yeah, yeah, that's Norway. I'm not good at geography, dude. That's okay. You don't have to be. Actually, you know what? I'd rather you move to Norway, dude. Their chant for the FIFA World Cup is so fucking stupid.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:03

I'd much rather move to Norway, but it's like pretty much impossible to move to Norway. Why is it impossible? I mean, you can go there on like a one-year work visa and that's about it. They're they're very strict.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:11

They don't accept it? That sounds like the country you want to live in if they don't accept it.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:14

I do, you know, Poland.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:16

Poland is the bro, Poland's gotta be close to the world.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:19

Poland has not led one single Muslim into their country at all. Zero. Zero. Zero. You're gonna take the wall to Poland. Poland. What are they? I don't know if it's like the president or prime minister, whatever they call him over there. He's the fucking man, dude. I see him give like give speeches at the EU. It basically everybody shits on him, and he's like, hey, there's no terrorist attacks over here. These are your guys' stats. Zero. Like we have no problems at all. We don't need your doctors or engineers. We're doing good. These are your statistics. We're the top of everything. It makes sense. He just owns it. They all shit on him for not accepting immigrants. They haven't taken that country out yet.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:53

We're doing good. We're doing perfectly fine. I'm surprised they haven't dropped a bomb on fucking Poland yet.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:58

I think does Poland have a nuke?

SPEAKER_02 1:12:00

I don't yeah, they definitely have a nuke. Can you give the links out? I'm pretty sure Poland's like one of the countries that has like one of the most nuclear bunkers, too.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:08

I think Poland, if anybody fucks with Poland, I think the entire world will end. Oh that's like the last patch of grass that hasn't been stomped on yet. No, I'm pretty sure. I'm talking about who's stomping on the gas. They do not have nukes.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:23

It's kind of like that point where like, dude, everyone has guns, let's just throw hands. Like I think like like everyone has nukes. Like the a nuke is never gonna get fired again. It's just not. Because then like everyone's just gonna start firing out nukes. Yeah, well, yeah, if one goes off, they all go off. Yeah, it's like like we're we're at a stalemate, everyone has nukes. Like, let's just go back to just regular ass, like, alright, we're gonna do co-op cool shit. We're gonna do rainbow six shit on each other. Fuck yeah. Kind of like uh you know the house party, everyone just pulls out their fucking Glocks, you're like I got boxing gloves. Yeah, yeah. Guys, let's throw hands. Yeah, and you know what? Pol the polar, the Pollocks, or like probably like some of the last people you want to throw hands with, too. Scrap, yeah. They love scrapping, bro. They get there's some feasty feasty boys over there. Fucking pollux, dog. Fucking pollux, bro. They don't fuck around, dude. The Dutch, bro. Oh, dude, they'll fuck your wife. 100% they'll fuck your wife. You should never move to the Netherlands. Yeah, that's what they'll yeah, they'll fuck your nethers, dude. Dude, they'll fuck your nethers. This is the nether world, dude. You got caught up in the nether? Holy shit, bro. Well, Casey's contemplating right now, it's working, it's working, dude.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:31

No, I'm not. I'm trying to figure out a way to say it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I mean, if somebody fucks my wife in the Netherlands, I'm just gonna fuck somebody from the Netherlands. It can't be that hard. They I can I can pay to do it legally.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:45

So Dang, that's legal over the two, bro.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:47

We gotta fucking blue. I went to the red light district.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:50

It's cool as fuck. It's just like bartenders over there. Yeah. They need bartenders. I bet you nobody in the Netherlands knows what a good margarita is, but I'll probably make so much. That's what I was just saying. You introduce a you introduce limes to them. Yeah, I wonder if I could be like species. What is this? Is this a sweeten sour? Have you seen like I remember uh whenever I went to Belize, someone was trying to bring in fruit and like they got it they got like seized on like as if they were bringing kilos of cocaine. Is that bad? Because like they like they don't want invasive species like fucking up like that. That's exactly how Iceland is. It's the same thing. Do not bring your fucking get your fucking papayas out or whatever. Get your type of papayas out of here. We have our own papayas. Get this shit out of here. It was like the drug the drug the dog, like they might as well they could have been pulling out fucking fentanyl and they're like, get uh it's like the opposite here too. I remember like our when we were coming back from uh Rotan and we landed here, I could have smuggled whatever I wanted in here. I they just like let me through. Like they did not care at all. Probably uh because that and also like they know it can't grow here. Oh buddy. Whereas like the the tropics, like it can like you can grow like anything all the fruit there, you know? So what's the big deal? It's not a fucking animal, it's fruit. I I don't I don't know how like e I fucking ecosystems like how that affects their ecosystem if you invite like a a type of they cap it on their science. A type of fruit. They're capping on their side. I don't animals work that way. I it would make sense that produce would work that way. Marshall Obama is a man. What happened to that guy? I'm pretty sure they killed Josh O'Keeck. Dude, the fucking uh the chain being taken off, he was like Yeah. Let me take my chain off real quick. Bro, supposedly Shane Gillis didn't like that joke that he said. Yeah, why would he? It's fucking great. Why why would he like the joke? Bro, someone had the balls to say it on the White House lawn, you gotta chuckle. I think uh I remember he had a bit with uh with like Matt McCusker where they're like I've never I've never seen uh an episode of Matt and Shane Secret Podcast. What? Never mind. Yeah, it's such a good podcast. Never in my life. Um but uh there was a they had a bit going about like um they're like she seems like low-hanging fruit for like like if you were if you were looking for a nominee to be like she's like a way better, more popular fan fake uh fan pick than like Kamala Harris. Yeah. They're like, there's gotta be something. Like they're like, it there's gotta be something. Like it's gonna maybe she is a man. Like, yeah, I guess that's pretty that's a layup. That was that was the whole bit. It was like, dude, like uh something's gotta be holding it back. Yeah, dude, it's m it's uh it's Obama. It's Barack.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:41

Obama. Barack's holding them back, bro.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:45

I don't know. I thought the joke was funny. I laughed.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:49

Tim Dillon said that uh I didn't see it live because it fucking they put it on a fucking Sunday night.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:55

What do you mean they put it on Sunday night? On a Sunday night.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:59

I watched a little bit, but I got sleepy.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:01

Oh dude, it was such a fucking good fight card.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:03

Some guys gotta work.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:04

It's such a fucking good fight card.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:07

I'll tell you what, I've I've been late to work every single day since the World Cup started. That's why you guys that's why you're trying to plot to the city. They finally told me something about being late to work. What'd they say? What'd they say? I said, hey, we're gonna start writing. How late are you? Like 30 minutes. You tell me. It's the same shit. Yeah. If the company fails, I could not give a fuck. I have no I have no loyalty to it. I like my coworkers, it's fun.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:34

But I mean, I don't give a fuck. I was like, I I work at a small company, I would feel some type of way if like if like we went under. I would be like, that'd be crazy. It's like it's 20 people. I'm like, oh damn, that's crazy. You you're pretty cool with everybody too, where you work, yeah. Yeah, I I know like about their personal lives and shit like that. Dude, there's like so many guys. Shout out Matthew who listens to every episode. Shout out Matthew. Matthew.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:57

Also, uh Mike Wiley. Mike Wiley. Mike Wiley. Mike Wiley. Mike Wiley. I can never forget you, Mike Wiley.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:07

Oh, dude, I was talking to Mike Wiley the other day, and he said uh something about like, yo, Mike Wiley, if you're still listening to the end of this podcast and you told him you were gonna give him a blowjob. He's like he's like antsy about that now. He's like, is he actually gonna give me a blowjob? This is why he's fleeing the Netherlands. He's like, I have to blow him. This is why you gotta get the fuck out of here, bro. Mike Wiley's waiting on some top, dude. Some heavy D style top, dog.

SPEAKER_05 1:18:30

I meant he probably shaved all the time.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:32

Heavy D posted a video where he said he was being questioned on the death of a young girl. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:37

Yeah. I'm starting to believe all those pussy stories are true. Yeah. And I think they might have not. He didn't he never he never said they were alive on all those stories. Dang, bro. He never did.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:48

He never did. Dang. He sure didn't.

SPEAKER_05 1:18:52

Heavy fucking D, bro. If we could get Heavy D on the podcast, I would be bro. I would have a field day if Heavy D was in here.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:57

I would just get him to tell us about like all. I would I want to hear his stories in person. Just see if they line up with the Instagram videos.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:03

I'm not gonna lie, if Heavy D comes on the podcast, I'm gonna I'll probably assault him.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:07

I'm fanboying. I wouldn't let you hear. I would treat Heavy D like clef. I would hurt his feelings for sure. You would? Yeah, absolutely. What would you say?

SPEAKER_00 1:19:14

I don't even know.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:15

I would just call him out on it? He would find my aura offensive. You would call him out on it? I wouldn't call him. I mean, I wouldn't just like come out swinging about like he would I don't know. Like if I bro, you think he's coochie captain? Yes. Bro, you think heavy D is coochie captain?

SPEAKER_04 1:19:30

Heavy D's not fucking Mills to the point of squirting. I mean, this is crazy because I'm not doing that to my fiance. Like to your Mills. Then making them squirt. Bro, there's guys out there with that talent, though. Nobody posting videos of them shooting three pointers by themselves is making anybody squirt. Nobody's playing basketball drivers. The lunar phase has changed.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:53

That's how long it took him to make another three. He's also fatter than I thought.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:02

I know he's not fucking like that.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:04

He's not only fat, but he's the type of fat where he's fat with no ass. And stroke game, stroke game comes from the glutes. Yeah. Is that true, bro? I gotta start doing hip thrusts. Any any ball knower will know this. Fuck, bro. You just put me on? I think so.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:19

Yeah, we we know from Pin's Instagram that Alec is a ball knower. Oh, I'm a ball knower, dude.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:24

Yeah, ball knower, ball enjoyer.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:29

He does enjoy some frosting.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:31

Oh, fuck, dude.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:32

That does, bro.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:34

It's like actually, like, how does it feel to be perceived by the masses as gay? I don't care, dude. I'll fight the masses, bro. Fight the masses, dude. I didn't know you hated Catholics.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:46

I'll fight the fucking masses, bro.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:48

Mark Wahlberg's gonna have a field date with you, dude.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:50

Fucking bro, the the thing where Mark Wahlberg's saying, like, if he was on the plane for 9-11, it would have went it would have gone down differently. Yeah. That's the fucking shit. Yeah, him and every other 11-year-old boy. I think I want to say like that, like the same interview is the same, like he said he like he did he like he's never jerked off. That's what he said? Like in that same, like in the same interview, he's like, Yeah, I don't know. If I was on the plane for 9-11, flight 93, it wouldn't have gone down that way.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:14

Also, I've never jerked off.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:16

Also, just definitely was not jerking off in the bathroom on the flight of 9-11. Pusky just finds me. What's crazy is that he's probably definitely jerking off to the thought of beating up a terrorist at 9-11. Like, yeah, patriotism nut. Yeah. Just patriot nut. Do you remember? I mean, we were all probably around the same age when uh was it what's it called? The Lone Sniper. Yeah. What's it called? Is that what it's called?

SPEAKER_02 1:21:41

Lone Survivor?

SPEAKER_04 1:21:42

Lone Survivor. No. What am I thinking of? Survivor? Chris Kyle. What's it Chris? American Sniper. American Sniper. When that came out, I remember leaving the movie theater and like being like 13 and like just like quietly riding home in the back of my uh my parents' truck. I'm thinking like, I'm gonna be a fucking marine, I guess. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Yeah. I watched that and I was like, I'm gonna guess I gotta kill brown people.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:04

Yeah, dude, it's like at the same time. You go home and you play Call of Duty, and like PTSD, like you don't know as a thing yet.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:09

Yeah, I was watching that and like I was thinking like, man. Um yeah. I I think I have to avenge Chris Kyle.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:18

Everyone's had that, but I remember I watched Lone Survivor and like uh like how the guy like was the only like the whole the moral the like the whole thing of the story was like dude someone's gotta survive to tell the story. You know what I mean? Like that's kind of like what the thing was, like someone's gotta survive. Yeah, yeah. The Marky Mark one. And like also like that movie was fucking badass the first time I watched it. Yeah, hell yeah. And then I watch it now and I'm like, This fucking sucks, dude. I would hate the D. Like it was it's a little hard to believe. I read the book. Yeah, it's a Modern Warfare 3 campaign mission. I mean, they they put Oscar worthy shit into it.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:53

Well, like supposedly like uh like the translator that he saved or whatever, like a fuck Taliban. Fuck the Taliban like that guy. I I think I believe there's some like controversy with that. You know how like the the people that housed him, he like made sure they went back and saved? Yeah. There's something, I don't know the details of it, but apparently that's like not true at all.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:12

Yeah, no, fuck no. Yeah, there's not a lot of cabin like this.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:15

I think that guy got killed by the yeah, they beheaded as soon as they got Marky Mark out of there, they chopped his head off.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:21

Um what's it called? Like the the the whole like like other Navy SEALs were talking about like Chris Kyle's memoir, and they're like, there's so much cabin. Really? Yeah, dude. It was like a Chuck Norris joke book. The shit about like supposedly the government hired him to like during Hurricane Katrina to like snipe looters, and like that never happened.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:40

He said that shit. Who the fuck would Pitt who said that shit? That makes no sense.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:45

Chris Kyle said that shit? He said that, yeah. Holy fuck, bro. Claiming that is. Did Heavy D write his memoir, bro? This is fucking retarded.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:56

Dude, that's an heavy DS story, bro. Heavy D's a ghostwriter. That's fucking so ball cap, bro. Oh yeah, Obama reached out to you and said, uh but then you go out there.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:10

It would have been George Bush at the time. That is a little more believable. Okay. Well, if it was George Bush, then yeah, I'm on board. We got a little bit of a problem here. George Bush reaching out to Chris Kyle to kill the looters. We've got to stop the terrorists. All that at the same time of like uh watch this. And then cut to Kanye watch this snack. Cut De Kanye mean like George Bush doesn't care about black people next to fucking Mike Myers.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:37

There's some guys stealing TVs in Louisiana. We should have a U.S. Marine kill them. That's what he's saying.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:49

Are they looting or are they robbing? Are they surviving or are they looting?

SPEAKER_04 1:24:52

That's the best.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:54

Well, how do we know there's not stereo speakers inside those loaves of bread?

SPEAKER_04 1:25:00

Oh, dude. That's such a great show. Or at least once upon a time. Alec put me on that show.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:05

Did I really? Yes. I don't remember really watching that show too much. I think I watched like the first three seasons of it. I think I watched I'll watch probably at least five seasons. The theme music will still make me laugh. Like, just just if I just hear that somewhere, I'm like, oh, the ball knowers. Yeah. That showed I love the it's like condescendingly funny. Like it's like, look at this asshole. I love the theme music for uh trailer park boys. Yeah, that's pretty much. It's so peaceful. It's almost ASMR-ish. Yeah. You know what I mean? Give my fucking head back, Ricky. If I hear any of those, I'm like, someone's up to no good. Uh oh man. That's so fucking funny, dude. Thinking like of Chris Chris Chris Kyle right in the book, talking about like, yeah, President Bush reached out to me to have me kill the fucking Nolans.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:50

And other Navy SEALs are like, no the fuck he wasn't.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:54

I love how they also wait until he's dead to come out and say, like, hey, by the way, Chris Kyle's a fucking purple heart purple heart liar.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:00

They didn't want to get fucking sniped. That's what it was.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:04

Yeah, you can't go after the OG like that, but it's like he got CTE in there, or was he just like a fucking lunatic already? That's so fucking funny.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:16

It just terrible. I gotta read his memoir now. I wonder what the fuck else he was capping about. As a non-fucking veteran.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:23

It goes back. This is this is Donovan's grandpa type shit. This is Donovan's grandpa. Donovan's grandpa's a giant capper, and like the only one buying it is fucking Donovan, dude. Donovan hit in the back with a 50 cap. Donovan's like, tell me more. Tell me more. He's had back problems. I'm like, is he two pieces? He walks with a limp. Is he two pieces? He's fucking Darth Maul. And your granddad Darth Maul. He's had back problems.

SPEAKER_05 1:26:53

Oh, he's got back problems. Yeah, but I got back problems.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:56

His legs are separated from his body, but uh, I think we're at time, boys. Uh he goes to the chiropractor all the time. Keep it kosher. Never kill yourself. Never kill yourself. Epstein did not kill himself.