PolloMarket Parlays - RTB Ep. 25

It's Monday. Need I say more? Enjoy a beer or 8 with us. We don't judge. Thanks for watching, come back next week to do it again!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Howdy. What a dope. Bien Benidles. Hello, hello. What it do, gangsters. Hey, what's up? What's up? We're back. Episode 25? 25. There are 25 episodes. Still not making a buck.

SPEAKER_02 0:17

Not a single fucking dollar. Not a single fucking dollar. Oh dude. I come here, I spend money on beer. You leave, and then I spend money on food, and then I go home. Every podcast costs me like $25.

SPEAKER_00 0:27

I spend I spend like $1083 per podcast. If I buy a Sixer, it's like a $40 subscription doing this fucking podcast at this point. Hey man, you guys can stop coming over. I'll just record here with myself. That's so funny, too. Is the other day is uh I don't know what the occasion was for, but I said fuck it, I'm gonna take a hit of weed. And I had already been drinking a little bit. Yeah. So like talking about us doing this podcast, like reminded me of this scenario, and I totally forgot about it until we started talking about hey and brothers, we're not making a dollar off this podcast. Is uh the other night I took a hit of weed and I was laying in bed and I was talking with Peyton and I was like thoughts were just running through my mind, and I was like, Am I a fucking loser? I was like, Am I a fucking loser? Because I'm posting Can you imagine if this podcast doesn't work out, everyone's gonna be like, Yeah, you remember when her fucking dumbass husband started a podcast?

SPEAKER_02 1:20

Yeah, I'm not gonna- I've been kind of battling with that too.

SPEAKER_00 1:23

Uh I think I think that's honestly healthy because I think more importantly than just having a North Star to run towards, you need something to run away from also. Yeah. The thing is, is like I have no intentions on running away from it. I actually think we're gonna make it. So that's what that's that's what I'm saying. Like you need you need something to run towards. Yeah. Like, like you're like, like, I don't know, it's a horror movie. I don't know why this is the first analogy that came to mind, but like it's a horror movie. You're like running to safety, you're running to the police station, but like fucking Michael Myers is chasing you. Yeah, I'm like that's like the loser shit. That's like, alright, if I quit, I'm will like not only do I not like have the follow-through, but also like I I'm just showing this is gonna affect other endeavors. Yeah, whether this works out or not. I'm just gonna be a guy who doesn't follow things through. That's the thing, too. That's why I'm like, I can't quit, because I started. There's that that's that's what's on my mind. I'm like, I started, I can't quit.

SPEAKER_02 2:18

Running from is like a steady job. Yeah, like that's what's behind me. If I quit this, it's just my regular life, just without this. I thought you were gonna say gay thoughts. Yeah, yeah. It's just I go, I I just don't have anything to do on Thursday nights anymore. Yeah, that's it. But I want to have the Joe Rogan mentality.

SPEAKER_00 2:39

You're running away from like what is the Joe Rogan mentality? I don't give a fuck if people don't listen to this.

SPEAKER_02 2:44

Oh, yeah, I don't give a fuck about that. I just I don't know. I have the same thoughts as you like when people are seeing me repost this to the like how gay am I coming off?

SPEAKER_01 2:55

Nah, bro, people laugh though.

SPEAKER_02 2:57

Yeah, I have a hard time distinguishing like laughing with and laughing at.

SPEAKER_00 3:01

Well, people are laughing with me. They're laughing at you.

SPEAKER_02 3:04

They might be.

SPEAKER_00 3:05

Everyone keeps telling me how gay you sit on the podcast.

SPEAKER_02 3:07

I know. And that's you know, that's fine because you guys have me in a fucking lawn chair in a corner. Bro, so next episode is doing a switch and get it.

SPEAKER_00 3:14

Do you want to switch this episode?

SPEAKER_02 3:16

No.

SPEAKER_00 3:16

Okay, then don't bring it up.

SPEAKER_02 3:18

No, relax.

SPEAKER_00 3:19

Now I feel bad. Relax. You should. Look how you guys got me. Hey, do you want to do a podcast? I wonder when he said he wanted to record crisscross episodes on the ground.

SPEAKER_02 3:29

We should. We shouldn't have any furniture. We should just lay on our bellies. We should have no furniture at all.

SPEAKER_00 3:35

Kick our feet up. Yeah. World Cup is on pause today. What's up? That would be horrible for the amount of burping we do on this podcast. The amount of burping? Yeah. Dude, this room would stink if we were laying on our bellies. It would just be like, you know, when you like do the feet to the kid and make a park and shit?

SPEAKER_02 3:52

People just come in and start patting our back.

SPEAKER_00 3:54

Hey, he passed me a beer and he like has to roll over. Get out of the fridge. Looking at Somersault back to the mini fridge. Yeah, that's to be grateful for your chair, dude. We could be laying on the floor. I'm grateful for my chair. One day we're gonna have a studio.

SPEAKER_02 4:09

Don't complain about how I sit in this chair.

SPEAKER_00 4:10

I wasn't complaining, but I was saying other people have noted it. He's sitting more masculine than print, like he's sitting like like we do now.

SPEAKER_02 4:17

Oh yeah. Yeah, I just have to have my foot on the couch.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

I've spilled a keg of beer on this body. He's getting a deep glute stretch at this point. Just fucking ever since you told me the stroke game came from the glutes, bro. You've just been hit just hip thrust. I've been coming even faster. It's been like I'm like, yo, I have no ass game, bro. It's nuts. No ass game? That all came from uh saying heavy D, like just seeing how he's actually built. Oh, he's fatter than no ass. Yeah. Fat guy with no ass is.

SPEAKER_02 4:48

I wonder how heavy D's like being accused of murdering somebody is going.

SPEAKER_00 4:54

I think he fucked her to death. Yeah, if you ask him, I think he'd say that.

SPEAKER_02 4:59

For sure. That was crazy. I'm used to just seeing him tell like sex stories, and then a video in between he was like, Yeah, I'm getting investigated for like this missing girl, this and that, and then the next video is him like the Lord's prayer.

SPEAKER_01 5:13

Yeah, bro.

SPEAKER_00 5:14

It's like it's gotta be like a guilty conscience too. If like you're talking about I'm on the run or I'm being investigated for a murder, and then the very next scroll he's like their heavenly father. Yeah. I'm like that. You'd be like, uh, I don't know, this is like some talented Mr. Ripley, like fucking uh. Yeah, it's like if you're making a profile for like a murderer guy, you'd be like, alright, compulsive liar. Yeah, well, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:43

It's just heavy D.

SPEAKER_00 5:44

It's the heaviest D, bro. The heaviest D. D stand for diabetes, dude. That's a fat boy, man. He's a big big fat. We gotta get him on the pod, bro. I would love to have heavy D on the. I know you said that y'all would flame him, but I'm not gonna lie, I would treat that shit like a Dr. Phil interview. Like, I was I want to know everything that's running through the internet.

SPEAKER_02 6:00

Inside the mind of Heavy D. I'm very interested in his legal name.

SPEAKER_00 6:03

60 Minutes, bro.

SPEAKER_02 6:05

It's it is it is funny enough, his name is David. 60 Minutes of Making MILF squirt all over the place. Yes. It's gonna be fucking stupid. My favorite thing about Heavy D is that he has a merch website and on there he sells a basketball jersey, and the graphic is just a picture of him uh shooting a three-pointer on the basketball jersey.

SPEAKER_00 6:28

He didn't even like remove the background.

SPEAKER_02 6:31

Yeah, but it's crazy because like famous like LeBron's never done that. Kobe's never done, like, sold a jersey of them. Dude, he's the neighborhood in the barn where he's from, though. He has to be big in Nebraska. I guess Indianapolis is a very good thing. He's always like anywhere.

SPEAKER_00 6:46

Yeah, so heavy. Indianapolis, the Joe where he's like, that boy can eat corn on a cop through a trailing fence. He could. I fucking love Heavy D, bro. You guys gotta stop talking shit about Heavy D.

SPEAKER_02 6:58

He's a great young man. Um upstanding young man. Yeah, he's a man of character.

SPEAKER_00 7:05

I was scrolling on uh YouTube, all the my whole my whole timeline has been infested with World Cup and like soccer shit now. And uh there was like a video that popped up of like Holland, like it was called Flow Boys, and he was like rapping with his friends when he was like 15 or 16.

SPEAKER_02 7:23

Yeah, don't mention that to me.

SPEAKER_00 7:25

You you found it too, you know what I'm talking about?

SPEAKER_02 7:27

No, I'm talking about never mind. Um yeah, but I I do know the video you're talking about. It sucked. I liked it.

SPEAKER_00 7:34

But he would ball, bro.

SPEAKER_02 7:36

I like the hoodie with just the 100 emoji on it 500 times. Yeah, dude. Pretty cool. Pretty cool.

SPEAKER_00 7:42

There's no soccer on today.

SPEAKER_02 7:43

It sucked uh when the USA got booted. Yeah, bro. That I went home and I put my AirPods in, like I was telling Dante earlier. I was drunk enough to just listen to music in the dark. I put my blanket over my face and I listened to uh Country Roads like ten times because that was like their theme scene. You did that too?

SPEAKER_00 8:00

I did it like I listened to it like twice after we lost.

SPEAKER_02 8:04

Bro, I was like fighting tears under the blanket. I think I was like hyperventilating. I think Kinzie noticed.

SPEAKER_00 8:10

Dude, after we after we got that tying score.

SPEAKER_02 8:14

Bro, Tillman. I went nuts. I was in public and I went nuts.

SPEAKER_00 8:16

I never for like the however long, however long it lasted, like a minute.

SPEAKER_02 8:20

It was literally like a minute. He scored the free kick. I watched the replay. I went inside to go get a bar, and then on the TV in front of the bar, it was 2-1. I was like, what the fuck? It's crazy. So quick. You went inside to get a bar? He was doing Mexico. Oh, yeah. Oh, oh, it was like he's doing fucking Xana. My bar deserved.

SPEAKER_00 8:40

I need to come down on this high round. Well, it sucks too. I was like, I don't even give a fuck about soccer, and like I was so invested into the World Cup that like I reconciled with my father and was like, you guys gotta come out. USA's on top of the world. We gotta watch this game together. And then they fucking lost.

SPEAKER_02 8:54

Did you watch it with them? Yeah, dude. It was so embarrassing.

SPEAKER_00 8:56

Not only did we lose, but we got fucking shit on. We got shit on, bro.

SPEAKER_02 9:00

We looked terrible. Yeah, you got fucking fat ass Lodoku coming off the bench to make it 4-1. That was the worst part. No other team this World Cup got embarrassed. We got embarrassed. Do you remember round one when Germany beat, I forget who they were, but it was seven to one.

SPEAKER_00 9:16

Yeah, that was that was rough.

SPEAKER_02 9:18

That was group stage. But as far as just the hype behind the team and that outcome, and then all the hype around the red card and the red card being suspended. They're at home.

SPEAKER_00 9:28

Exactly. Yeah. We never left. You know, that's damn right. Yeah, we've always been here. Bad home field advantage. That does suck, bro. Yeah. I thought they were gonna at least make it to the quarterfinals.

SPEAKER_02 9:41

Not a single host team made it. They all got eliminated in the round of 16. Canada, Mexico, and us.

SPEAKER_00 9:48

Mexico too, bro. I can't bro. That was a beautiful game. It was you would have thought that like Mexico got nuked the next day at work whenever I went there. All the Mexicans at work, they were just like slower than normal. Oh, the cooks? Just fucking moping around, bro. Moping around, dude. There's like a 70-year-old like tortilla lady that like moves in neutral speed on flat ground. And like the day like the after Mexico won, bro, that bitch was doing laps. She was like so excited. And then she was back to slower than before whenever they lost. She aged overnight.

SPEAKER_02 10:19

Being Mexican and Mexico looked because you know they got fucking hammered either way. Oh, 100%. Like before the game hammered, they lose. Lose or win, they're gonna get way drunker than they already were.

SPEAKER_00 10:29

Well, they're morning, they were morning drunk. Yeah, they got sad. Because I know the whole team got killed whenever they went back home.

SPEAKER_02 10:34

My Mexican coworker, I checked his Snapchat story, he posted a video of his daughter crying in the backseat of a car.

SPEAKER_00 10:42

She's crying because like her father took out a credit card in her name. Put it all on fucking Mexico. My credit score is fucked, and I'm not even five years old yet. You know, I know gambling is a problem. There's like a huge language barrier at like my work between like the kitchen and like the servers and stuff. And uh we were like closing the bar and I was watching the game on, and um one of the mech one of the Mexican dudes came out of the kitchen and he overheard me talking about my bet on couchy and he was like, Cauchy? He's like, Do you bet on Cauchy? He's like, How much you got on Cauchy? I was like, $100. He goes, Oh, you're going to make money? And I'm like, yeah. I was like, you bet on Cauchy? He's like, yeah, but only five dollars on couchy. On couchy. Yeah, well, on Couchy, bro. Couchy. I was like, fuck, this is a problem, dude. That is, yeah, that is. Those are hard workers, man. They just spent that's a fifth of their paycheck. That five bucks, that's gone.

SPEAKER_02 11:43

Yeah, they don't get paid that much.

SPEAKER_00 11:44

No. No, dude. And it's straight to couchy.

SPEAKER_02 11:48

Straight to couchy.

SPEAKER_00 11:49

Straight to cauti to couchy 6ix9ine. Hopefully he came up though. That'd be nice. You bet on you you bet on pollo market in in pollo market on Micho Kanda? Yeah, it's a problem, bro. This country's going fucking nowhere fast.

SPEAKER_02 12:19

Yeah, I mean, where's not though?

SPEAKER_00 12:24

I saw Kanye, boys. I can officially die. Kanye is the greatest. Bro, I I'm so I'm like uh you ever get like post-concert depression? Because you've never seen Kanye.

SPEAKER_02 12:39

Yeah, I'm usually like relieved that I can go home.

SPEAKER_00 12:41

No, dude, the next day I was just Also, uh, I feel like if you ever go to like a huge concert where there's like 60,000 people there, it 100% is it just like energy harvesting like event. It could be. I felt drained as fuck the next day. I was like I was almost it was like noon driving home and I almost fell asleep like three times. Damn. It was so fucking bad. I was like, how long did you stay up? It sucked actually because uh the concert was fucking badass, first of all. Best concert I've ever been to. It's fucking phenomenal. Leaving the concert, there's 60,000 people leaving at the same time.

SPEAKER_02 13:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:18

And it's at the Alamo Dome. We parked close to the stadium, which means we're like one of the last people to leave the stadium. Pros and cons. And uh we waited in the parking lot trying to leave for an hour and 30 minutes, like just trying to get out of the parking lot. We saw a car accident right next to us. But everyone's dickheads. Also, like San Antonio, Mexicans just spawn there. They're just everywhere, bro. Like, everywhere you look, there's they're up to no good, also. Yeah, they're fucking mean over there, bro. I felt like it was like shit, it was like sketchy as fuck everywhere in Mexico. And the the Hilton hotel that we stayed at was like graffiti top to bottom. Like it was fucking, it was just like in the slumps of uh San Antonio. And when we were leaving, bro, I mean, they were all super fucking aggressive trying to get out of the parking lot.

SPEAKER_02 14:08

Yeah, I mean, but you gotta think like you you're Mexican and you live in a place where you see the Alamo every single day. That's gotta suck. Yeah, it does have psycho. They took that place over, but everyone else is not called Texas. They're never gonna forget about the Alamo.

SPEAKER_00 14:23

No, nobody at the end. But after when the concert started, they sang because it was on 4th of July, so they sang the national anthem before the concert started, and it was just Mexico chants throughout the entire stadium. I was scared. Wasn't there a Mexico game on? You I don't know. You're a daywalker, though. This was easy. I blinked in. You could use code switch, yeah. Alright! Okay, yeah, no, I blunt in, but I was at the same time, like the deepest, like inside of me, I was like, Mexico has to lose. They have to lose, bro. I understand I'm in Mexico right now, but they have to fucking lose. Yeah. On 4th of July, you don't do that shit here.

SPEAKER_02 14:59

Yeah, true.

SPEAKER_00 15:00

Anyway, we saw a car accident leaving the uh the parking lot, and this dude, like, he like everyone's like cutting each other off, which is like you're stuck in the same spot trying to leave the parking lot for 40 minutes. Like you're not moving. So, like, what is the big deal? If one car cuts you off, they're also not leaving right now. Just like let people fall in line. Yeah, just one by one. Yeah, and they these people in front of us was not letting anyone like get in front of them. They're like getting closer and trying to cut them off. Yeah, one dude got pissed off and went too far and like hit another guy's car. Oh, and like they went and like crashed right there. It's a car away from us. We like watch the whole thing. The the passenger gets out, comes around, goes up to the window, and he like wouldn't roll down his window, and they're like, Oh fuck, like something something's gonna someone's gonna get shot, like something bad is gonna happen right now. And I'm just like listening and shit. The guy's like yelling at him through the window, and he's like, Are you from here? Are you from here? Oh, fucking typical. You don't know how to drive. The stereotypical, you have to stereotype, you don't know how to drive. And Peyton's like, Oh, is he Asian? And like, then and the guy's like, from San Antonio, San Antonio drivers don't know how to drive. And I looked at my fayton, I was like, Wow, you're so racist. I was like, wow, dude. Immediately she was like, Oh, he must be Korean. A nice Korean guy just came here for the World Cup. He's like, Oh, I'll go see Kanye while I'm out here. I'm here to see a Kanye West. It was so fucking funny though. She was like, He must is he Asian? That would be a fucking nightmare. If I was like in a like that far away visiting a country and I got a rental car and I just can do a car accident. I'm not I'm just abandoning the car. Yeah, I'm leaving it there.

SPEAKER_02 16:36

That's pretty scary.

SPEAKER_00 16:37

I'm not coming back here. Dude, if I get a rental car in South Korea, yeah, can I crash that bitch? Oh, you stick out. I'm setting it on fire. Sore thumb, you're sticking out, bro. They know they're gonna find you. It was fucking sick though, dude. Oh, yeah, bro. Pictures really don't do justice of like the performance that he put on. We're talking about this. That's the fucking orb that sucked up all your energy. Yes, bro. It was the energy harvesting. And you're cum. It looks see how it's all cloudy like that? That's for sure everyone's nut. Is you couldn't spit when you left that concert, probably. It was so fucking sick, bro. When he played all of the lights, I felt like I was gonna have a seizure, bro. Like the lasers went everywhere.

SPEAKER_02 17:18

I wonder if let's see, he's got the earth spinning around. I wonder if at any point his two feet were on top of Israel.

SPEAKER_00 17:24

Is that like towards the end? Where is that? All the lights. It was probably closer. It hasn't tied on in the left, in the bottom left. I think it was closer to the beginning. Like if you like scroll, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was it wasn't that early on, it was it was around there, though. On site was pretty fucking sick. This is AI generated because Kanye would be standing on flat Earth. Yeah. That's incredible. There it is. There it is. It does look like a big fucking flying saucer situation. There we go. Yeah, yeah. Bro, it was so fucking badass, dude. I was in awe. I was like watching it and I thought I was gonna have a seizure. Like when I left, my eyes were like pulsing. Dude, think about how much more fun you would have had on Mike Boshrooms than being here. Before we went in there, um Peyton like has like this like disposable like weed pin. And like just fucking hits hard, bro. And um she was like scared to bring it in. And at first I was like, bro, you can bring it in, no one's gonna give a they don't give a fuck. Like you can bring it in, you can bring it in. And then right before we went in there, I was like, actually, maybe don't bring it in. Cause like I don't know how the security is. I don't want to like get kicked out. I was like, just get high real quick and leave it in there. She was like, okay. She leaves it in the car. We go up there to get in, we'll go right through the security. They didn't give a fuck at all. They just went right through there, and then as we were getting ready for the concert, I was like, fuck, dude, I wish you would have brought your fucking weed painted. I'm gonna get so ripped for this right now. Why did you bring it, you dork? Yeah, I was gas later. Don't ever fucking listen to me. You never listened to me. You listened to me this time. I was so pressed. I was also very impressed, dude. It was the best concert I've ever been to. Yeah, that looks awesome. It was so fucking sick. And we ran into Andy, bro.

SPEAKER_02 19:11

I saw that. We ran into who? I saw that.

SPEAKER_00 19:13

Our buddy, my our buddy Andy. Uh the concert? Yeah, Andy and his little brother Ty was there. And also, quick shout out to Ty, bro. Because as we were standing in the in the line waiting to go into the concert, I brought up the podcast to Andy and he like asked about it. And I was like, yo, why don't you tap in? He like asked me a question that I knew we talked about on the podcast. I was like, see, this is how I know you're not tapped into the podcast, Andy. Yeah. Because if you was tapped into the podcast, like you'd know this already. And Ty was like, Yeah, I already knew this. And he like pulls up his YouTube. Ty's like watched every video, bro. He's like tapped in, bro. What's guys? It was fucking sick. Yeah, so I ran into them. First time I'd seen them in a long time. Or first time I'd seen Andy. What what obscure fact was it? I don't even remember. It was like I don't remember really. It was something that I had to do. Who did Casey punch that one time? Yeah. It was who was Dante Dante punching? What was it punched C anybody? An Amazon delivery driver. Was it B, his mom?

SPEAKER_02 20:10

Was it C, oh, I did punch my sister in the belly. I forgot about that. I was gonna say that I don't think I've ever punched anybody. But I did punch my sister. Yep. She deserved it.

unknown 20:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:23

I want to go back, bro. If con supposedly there's like rumors right now that Kanye is gonna drop like a ton of like tour dates soon. I could see that. He's kind of doing like a mini tour right now, right? If he comes to Houston, I'm going again. Yeah, I'd I'd go. I'm curious like what made him pick like San Antonio. Me too. I wonder why he didn't pick Houston in the first place. He raps about Houston in a couple of his songs. But he picked San Antonio.

SPEAKER_02 20:47

Beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 20:48

What's this one? Oh, just I don't know. Just I saw this the other day. It's pretty funny. Hilarious. But if he comes to Houston, like you have to go.

SPEAKER_02 20:58

Oh yeah, I would the only reason I didn't know is because I was in San Antonio.

SPEAKER_00 21:01

Yeah. If he comes to Houston, Huey, you you gonna go? Um I could be I could be swayed. You're not a big Kanye fan? No, I am a big Kanye fan. It's just a matter of like all the travel and then dropping more 300, 350 bucks on a ticket. The tickets are actually like pretty affordable, all things considered. Yeah, no, for Kanye, that is like a that would be the biggest concert I've ever been to. I'm not a big like you like smaller concerts? I like smaller venues for I like small concerts.

SPEAKER_02 21:30

I don't like that I would do it, but like I Kinsey made me go through to like a weekend concert. There also like Playbook Cardi was there, and it was like four hours long. Really? At fucking NRG, and it was fucking like I wanted to leave so bad. The first hour was cool, and then he kept like teasing like ending the concert and would not stop fucking. He was holding you off. I kept like, I was like, all right, I'm gonna do another beer. It seems like it's about to be over. He would like talk for like five minutes and seem like he's rapping. It up like I love you, Houston. I love you. Can't wait to come back and then sing another song. Really? Like five times. You get pissed off. I was getting, yeah, I was getting mad. It's the same thing as like all the Mexicans in San Antonio. You know Mexicans love the weekend. So it was a bunch of like Mexican couples like dry fucking at NRG Stadium. It was like fucking fuck out. Yeah. The fucking my stomach hurt.

SPEAKER_00 22:26

That was terrible.

SPEAKER_02 22:26

My stummy hurt. That was terrible. The only big concert I've been to that I liked was big. It was at Toyota Center. It was Deftones. That was cool. That was like the goth Mexicans, like we talked about last week. They weren't dry fucking. They were like sad. They were dry. Yeah, they were there. Yeah, lots of denim, lots of fucking what's that hair gel with the fucking gorilla on? Coco de Loco or something. Loco Loco or something. Yeah. It smelled like that.

SPEAKER_00 22:53

I imagine a Deftones concert is like seeing like the walking dead zombies in San Francisco. They're all there, just like listening to the music, all vented out. Someone said someone said Deftones is uh is radio head for people who have sex. Pretty much. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:07

I've never fucked a radio head. Boy, you haven't fucked in. Oh, I fucked. But the so the opposite child.

SPEAKER_00 23:15

I got I got like the opposite experience with you with Kanye because like the one bad thing I can say about Kanye's concert is it was done in like two hours. So it's not ended reasonably.

SPEAKER_02 23:25

That's reasonable. And also that someone you can do.

SPEAKER_00 23:29

No, but when you're Kanye and you only do four shows in America, and this is the first time you've done it in five years. I hate to like bring this bitch up on camera right now on our dub on our podcast, but Taylor Swift went on an Aeros tour for like fucking two years straight, performed every day, and every single show was four hours long. And Kanye came out for the first time in years and did a two-hour show. And also how you were like, I love you, Houston. Also, like it's Kanye, so I don't expect a lot from him, like speaking wise.

SPEAKER_03 23:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:56

But he like, whenever he was done, he didn't even say he was done. He literally just went into the stage and went, and that was it. He's gotta go hit the laughing gas backstage. Yeah, that was it, dude. That's what I was like, was that it? He also didn't bring anybody out. I thought he was gonna have a feature.

SPEAKER_02 24:11

No, Kanye, like that's that's somebody who's not really gonna like fuck with it. It's kind of like alright, I'm done.

SPEAKER_00 24:17

He's gonna do what he wants.

SPEAKER_02 24:17

I'm done, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:18

Yeah, and I that's why I'm like, alright, look, I understand it's Kanye.

SPEAKER_02 24:21

Yeah, like I get Kinsey loves the weekend. So I guess like if you're a big fan of the person, a four-hour concert where they won't shut the fuck up ever, yeah, is really cool. But if you're not a big fan, this shit fucking sucks. Imagine fucking sitting down in front of somebody and having a conversation and like alright, it's time to leave the restaurant. Yeah. And they just won't let you go. But they're also fucking singing. Yeah. It's like, alright, that's enough. It's like, okay, I'll quit singing.

SPEAKER_00 24:48

And then also in the booth next to you, like there's two Mexicans dry humping. Yeah, fucking blood cock. She took you to a Playboy Cardi in a in a weekend concert. Yeah. So the Playboy cards.

SPEAKER_02 25:02

We've been on social media. But I mean that's a bumble relationship, dude.

SPEAKER_00 25:09

You gotta get out of here. Yeah. Suck. You've got to not take balls.

SPEAKER_02 25:15

I mean, the weekend's got some decent songs. It was cool for like the weekend was cool for 30 minutes. Flip recording was cool the whole time, obviously. Was Flavor Cardi like was like 50-50? No, it was like probably like 1575.

SPEAKER_00 25:30

Oh shit. Yeah. You mean 2575?

SPEAKER_02 25:32

Yeah, whatever the math is on that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:36

I think 8515, is that correct? I would enjoy a weekend concert because I I I've heard I've seen like live performances and he sounds good live. You're a freak, dude. It'd probably be like you would leave there with two extra bodies, bro. You're of course you would love a weekend concert.

unknown 25:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 25:52

You're a fucking freak, dude.

SPEAKER_02 25:55

Freak bull. You're a freak bull, bro. Show us your dick.

SPEAKER_00 26:00

Let me see what it looks like. Dude, you he's at the fucking weekend concert. Talk about, you know, thrust game actually comes from your glutes, right? I have a good I'm a good I have a good tent setup, like it's a like a like a high school like science fair. He's got like a trifold fucking poster.

SPEAKER_02 26:19

That's another thing about the weekend concert. He was wearing a robot mask with like lasers shooting out of his eyes, singing about sex and like coke. And Kinzie, the whole way there, I was like, this like I just like this is gonna be fun, but like I'm just not a big fan. Like I don't like listening to the artist's music on the way to that artist's concert. It's like I'm about to hear it. Yeah, you wanna be surprised? Yeah, I'm already like we're gonna go listen to it. Like calm down.

SPEAKER_00 26:44

If it was Radiohead though, it'd be completely different. It's so that's what you said, what you're saying. Like, if it's a if you're a fan of the artist, yeah. Because that was the opposite. It was a three-hour drive there to San Antonio, it was Kanye the whole time.

SPEAKER_02 26:53

I'm sure, yeah, that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 26:55

And then on the way back, it was a little bit of Kanye. Oh, yeah. She like kept referring to him as like Abel. And it was like, hey, get all my stop it, knock it off. Who the fuck's that? That's good. People refer to like artists as like their first name, like their actual first name. Oh, like when people call Drake Aubrey or Audrey was his name. Yeah, like Aubrey. Aubrey, yeah. Aubrey Graham, I think. Abel's vocals are just like, you know, shut the fuck up. What groupie was saying? Who groupie was calling the weekend Abel? I'm I'm just picturing like oh that's how Kinsey's talking.

SPEAKER_02 27:25

Well, she was telling me she was like, he's like a reformed Christian now, like he has a bunch of gospel songs, and the whole time he just was shooting lasers out of his eyes and talking about coke and sex.

SPEAKER_00 27:34

Did he bring out the suicide boys? Yeah. And the altar boys.

SPEAKER_02 27:38

Yeah, altar boys. Yeah, that's yeah. Hopefully, she doesn't listen to this because I told her I had fun.

SPEAKER_00 27:44

Dude, 100% somebody combed there. For sure. Definitely somebody combed at the weekend concert.

SPEAKER_02 27:49

Yeah, I'm sure multiple people scummed at the weekend concert. Maybe on the ride home. Yeah, tons of tons of weeks.

SPEAKER_00 27:56

I'm not gonna lie, I think I'd rather go to a telephone concert than the weekend. Oh yeah, there's his there he is.

SPEAKER_02 28:00

I for sure see he was wearing like a weird robe and he had these red people like the one you went to? Yeah, yeah. He had like these people dressed in red robes. Yeah, you can see him at the bottom left. It literally seemed like a demonic ritual, the whole fucking four hours. Yeah, dude, they all are. Dude, it was nuts. Skip forward a little bit. Go go back to where that cross was lit up with all the fucking red people.

SPEAKER_00 28:20

Was he like promoting that dog shit show that he put out where he's supposed to be like a cult leader? Because that was like a that show got a lot of shit. I kind of want to watch it just to see how bad it is.

SPEAKER_02 28:31

It was scary. Were you high as fuck, dude? No, I was drunk as hell. I was pretty much like my mentality at this weekend concert was like Hank Hill. It's like this shit's fucking gay and demonic. Get me the fuck out of here. Damn it, Peggy. Yeah, it was very and look, it's like he keeps looking like he's about to end. There's still fucking two hours left of the video. That boy ain't right.

SPEAKER_00 28:56

He's also got like a starboard, dude. He's also got like a goddamn starboard. What I'm telling you. He's also got like a Catholic like priest robe going. Yeah, it's weird as well. That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_02 29:06

I'm telling you, it was weird as fuck. No, I think And I stood up the whole fucking time. Kinzie kept on saying, like, it's alright if you want to sit down.

SPEAKER_00 29:15

Like, no, it's not gonna look like I think I think Jared Little is like living the life that he wants to live. Because Jared Little's actually doing the cult thing. Yeah. And doing music and doing movies, and like he's trying to get in the movies, and he even had like his sh his TV show, which I haven't seen it, but I want to watch it because it got so such bad reviews.

SPEAKER_02 29:34

Was that the one where he's like really possessive over his girlfriend and like slaps that guy? Yeah, like a terrible acting. He's like a cult leader.

SPEAKER_00 29:41

Yeah. There's some some uh some Nepo baby actress was in there. Oh, Lily Rose Depp. Yeah, yeah. That time. After eating pussy on a night out, you go home and you greet your boss with like a French kiss. Oh, that morning. That just that very morning. I would brush my teeth. I would do nothing about this right here. A French greeting? Yeah, on the way to work. I mean, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:02

It's like, oh man, my hands still smell like pussy, but your hands are just by your mustache and really just your mustache is fine.

SPEAKER_00 30:10

Typing with type people with one hand, just like no one.

SPEAKER_02 30:14

It's one of those doing the slime celebration.

SPEAKER_00 30:18

It's one of those smells that other people know exactly what it is. Yeah. And and but they can't call you one, otherwise you're a pervert. Yeah, yeah. You're like, this it smells like come here. Yeah. I don't know how to describe it, but it smells, but I'm not gonna address it because it's the fucking yeah, because it's gonna be what are you the fucking nut whisperer?

SPEAKER_02 30:33

Like, yeah, someone's gonna come tap your shoulder at the water cooler. What is what'd you fucking eat?

SPEAKER_00 30:37

Some pussy or true detective when like Woody Hurlson's like cheating on his wife, and then he comes into work the next day, and uh McConaughey's like, You got some pussy on your lips still, you might want to go wash that up. I was like, Oh, that dude's been there.

SPEAKER_02 30:50

That's the most believable thing in the world is that Matthew McConaughey can smell pussy on other people.

SPEAKER_00 30:56

It's like very believable. Matthew McConaughey for sure can smell it, and then like the other guy having like acid reflux, so he's just burping pussy. And then the gay guy that you also work with is like, what the fuck is that smell? What do we say about bringing fish to work? If you brought fish to work, you eat at room temperature. Okay, room tip fish? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:20

Oh. Room temp box. Yet again. I love eating pussy, dude.

SPEAKER_00 31:27

Why don't we just talk about eating box, dude?

SPEAKER_02 31:31

Bro, that clip was too early on.

SPEAKER_00 31:34

But I've no uh that needed to be today. Um yeah, I'll just repost it. Fuck it. I was listening to uh Pat and Shane's like one of their podcasts the other day on the way home from San Antonio.

SPEAKER_02 31:43

Was it the Goodweed Man or whatever?

SPEAKER_00 31:44

I don't remember, but the whole time they were talking about like jerking off and shit. Oh yeah. And uh this is how I know Peyton like wouldn't actually enjoy watching our podcast because like I was laughing my eyes off and I was like, ha ha, this is funny and shit. She's like, You turned this off. I don't like them, I don't like what they talk about. I was like, oh, you would fucking hate our podcast.

SPEAKER_02 32:01

What's funny is that to Kinsey, Matt, and Shane from a out-of-context clip or not clip, but like section of the podcast we were listening to on a road trip, uh, to her they are pedophiles. Yeah. Why did they do? They were they're making fun of pedophiles and talking about, oh I'm not gonna say it. Was it the volleyball shorts bit? It was something right, they were making fun of like people who find adolescents attractive and but they kind of put themselves verbally in their shoes. Or kind of if you listen to it without knowing the context of that, they're they're gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_00 32:37

It's like this sketch that he's like whenever they're trying to come up with the law for age of consent. Yeah. Yeah, one of them's like 12, and Shane's like, ew.

SPEAKER_01 32:46

So why did I have to go first?

SPEAKER_00 32:48

Well, uh J John Marco Sarisi has like a funny bit about like uh it was uh uh R. Kelly. Like Ted Hilly wasn't a pedophile. Because like if you're a pedophile, that means like below a certain age, and then like from this age you have like hebophile, and then from this age you have another thing. And it was like the problem with that is it's like once you start breaking it down like that, you really sound like a big thing. Yeah, I was just about to say, dude, I was like, this guy definitely is a pedophile for sure. He's like, no, I'm not, dude. I'm a groomer, there's a difference.

SPEAKER_02 33:17

I'm not a pedophile, I've owned my craft.

SPEAKER_00 33:20

How dare you? Yeah, I don't fuck with the peds, dog. Peddle my ass downstairs. I ain't good. I ain't hit the gym in like five days. I've been lacking on the gym, dude. I've been grinding out fucking clips. Same.

SPEAKER_02 33:38

That'd be like a funny movie instead of 28 later being like a zombie film, like 28 days after not hitting the gym. Yeah, it's just like the beginning you ripped and at the end, like fat.

SPEAKER_00 33:48

You know, it's so funny, too. It's like uh no bullshit. Like if you're in the gym enough and you take a week off, you feel like you feel like you got fat as fuck. Like all your gains are gone. You feel fat, like your endorphins are just fucking down, and you just uh your cardio goes to shit so quickly. Quick. But you do come back and you feel stronger in a weird way when you do go back. Your body does need rest.

SPEAKER_02 34:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:08

But like one rest day turns into three months if you if you aren't like locked in.

SPEAKER_02 34:13

Yeah, you just that's exactly uh T, yeah, three months.

SPEAKER_00 34:17

Dude, if bro, I'm telling you, I know I put this on the table not too long ago. If you want to switch gyms, my little brother Carson, like, I like gave him some shit the other day, and I was like, bro, start working out with me. Like, like come come hit the gym. And like he texted me yesterday. He's like, I think I'm gonna get a membership at Sanctuary if you guys want even to start working out with me.

SPEAKER_02 34:32

Oh, dude, your dad is pissed. Why? He fucking you're just not back in his life and you're already costing him $40 a month. Come on, dude. Ever since I came around, everything's expensive again.

SPEAKER_01 34:45

Dude, that's so funny because we went to Labrisa to go watch uh the World Cup game, and like I'm sitting down, everything, everything he talks about has stuff to do with money.

SPEAKER_00 34:56

And like that's I can still like I remember that as a kid, and I remember I see it now, and I'm just like, dude, it's all he talks about is money. And uh he's like, hey Carson, you hungry? Like you want something to eat? Carson's like, yeah. And he goes, check this out. And he like pulls the menu of them. They serve these uh section of his quesadilla with rice and beans for $17.99. But if you look at this side of Quesad Diaz, it doesn't have rice and beans, and it comes with this instead, and it's $16.99. Doesn't make sense to get $16.99. You gotta either look at Peyton, I'm like, dude, it's non-stop. But he's like $16 in hungry, and I'm like, bro, like he's breaking down the price of the fucking price.

SPEAKER_02 35:30

Undercover boss, undercover Jew. Alex Jewish death.

SPEAKER_00 35:34

That's why whenever I first started like bringing up all the conspiracy theories, like around Israel to him, he was like, Well, hold on. I was like, yo, no fucking way. He's like, Are you well? How much is the war actually costing? He's got like a ledger out. He's like, I can't believe those Palestinians cost Israel that much fucking money. $10,000 a missile. Holy shit.

SPEAKER_02 36:02

Just gets back in his truck, puts Yarmica on before he goes out.

SPEAKER_01 36:06

The funniest part about it being $10,000 a missile is the fact that Israel is making our ass is doing it. They're like, we're gonna start this war, but also we're not paying for it.

SPEAKER_00 36:16

Yeah, that's yeah, that's why the United States is gonna do this for us. You know I'm good for it. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Then my pops finds out, he's like, wait, we're paying for it? I don't know why you're looking at me. I I paid for lunch, right? That's so fucking right. He uh sent me like um monies for I was going to the Kanye concert. He's like, Here you go, like for your early birthday present. Like get you something. Everything's so fucking expensive. He sent me a hundred bucks and I'm like, oh sweet. Like maybe I'll give me a t-shirt or two. Dude, it was like $120 just for the parking at the hotel and the parking at the hotel? Yeah, because it was valet. So the hotel we went to was valet parking only. What the fuck?

SPEAKER_02 37:00

Yeah, so well, and I don't know. Bro, I self-park at the damn casino where it's free to valet. Like I've never ever paid for valet at the same time. It's free to valet at the casino? Yeah. I would no the fuck it's not. Yes, it is. No way. Yes, it is. You're expected to tip, which I'm not going to, which is why I self-park. But I mean, it's literally like a fucking 20-foot difference.

SPEAKER_00 37:21

Fuck, dude. I know.

SPEAKER_02 37:22

I mean, you look like a bum getting out of your car carrying all your own bags and shit instead of the fucking Mexican with the cart. Yeah. But gives a fuck. And a casino all I'm trying to do is free. I don't want to spend extra money on fucking valet parking. I knew you can just self-park. No, I always sell more. I self-parking. If you want to go to the casino next door, then you gotta pull your fucking car out. Tip again. Drive over there, valet that bitch again.

SPEAKER_00 37:44

Why you just walk over there?

SPEAKER_02 37:45

It's no joke, like a minute walk.

SPEAKER_00 37:46

The sidewalk connects. I'm a yeah, I'm walking sex as Ranger, bro.

SPEAKER_02 37:50

Like trying to gamble.

SPEAKER_00 37:51

Yeah, bro. I love walking when I'm fucked up, dude. That's the best time to walk. When you're just fucked up.

SPEAKER_02 37:54

I mean, it was nice actually on the back part. I forget about that. Yeah, dude. It's like a long time. In my mind, you I walk around the parking lot.

SPEAKER_00 38:00

Yeah. Yeah. That was the one where whenever you were getting cheeks. Yeah. It was like three in the morning. I I sprinted. Also, I didn't get cheeks. We went straight to sleep that night. Really? Yeah. Honestly, dude, I try to like text it up.

SPEAKER_02 38:12

So it's like, she knows if you're still up.

SPEAKER_00 38:14

I try to like nut it out and like wait till she fell asleep. Because I was like, I'm gonna go gamble with Huey. But I was like dog tired. I for sure thought I was giving you a lob. You were. But she was like, oh, it's fucking. I have a headache. You know how it is, bro. I don't, you don't know how it is, bro. Huey's not a cage man.

SPEAKER_02 38:31

No bitch. Huey's everyone the fuck has ever had a headache. She's had a pussy ache. Needs to be fixed.

SPEAKER_00 38:37

With your penis. He's like, fuck this. Hey, should we play try not to eat challenge on YouTube? No, Huey, Huey's the one with the headache in his relationships. Oh.

SPEAKER_01 38:46

Again?

SPEAKER_00 38:47

Did you end up getting up that night? Or like were you down still pretty bad? I I lost $100 trying to get you cheeks. That's pretty. I what's funny though, like that back part, I sprinted. I sprinted from like our hotel to that one. Sprinted. Sprinted. I was like, I was hauling ass. And I for sure came up behind someone to start the fuck at somebody.

SPEAKER_02 39:06

Well, yeah, at three o'clock in the morning, sprinting outside a casino.

SPEAKER_00 39:10

You were up to no good. You're drunk. They're like having a cigarette or whatever, and they're put up the fucking wooden planks to do the boom, boom, boom. Why were you sprinting, bro? I was so fucking excited. To go to the casino?

SPEAKER_01 39:24

The one he just left, bro. You know what's so funny? I know he was excited too. I don't know why he thought it was time for bed, too. Because like we were both like, we're gonna go back to the other room.

SPEAKER_00 39:32

Do you want to go to bed? And he came with us, and like as we were walking by, we walked by like the LaBurge casino and he goes, like looks at it like at me, and I was like, you can go play. You can go. It was like about three in the morning. It was fucking bad. I was like, all right, Alex is about to get some buns. I thought, I thought what I was your girl climbing on top of you. I was like, all right, I'm I'm out of here. I I'm gonna do the respectful thing. I'm gonna let my boy at the end of the day, like I've known pain longer, but like you're my boy. So I'm like, all right, get in there. Nice, dude. In fact, I I I forgot my key card for a second, and I went back in the room and I thought I heard giggling. I'm like, oh, they're for sure. This is coital activities, right? We were giggling, yeah. And uh, and I was like, all right, I'm gonna bounce, I'm gonna text KC, and then sprint, fucking sprint.

SPEAKER_02 40:19

I got that text, and then I showed it to Kenzie and just now. Why don't you just fucking do it? Oh, okay. See, well, that was a good ending for you. Dude, I knocked out after that.

SPEAKER_00 40:28

I was up too. Like I had a perfect excuse to keep gambling because I was up. But I I just fucking dude, I was up big time actually. But I was it I did fucking hot when we went and played real life. But I was up like $400 in like 30 minutes. Yeah, we what the fuck, dude? This is a suede. What? You just rip ass.

SPEAKER_02 40:46

I'm not on the fucking couch, I'm on the chair. I can do whatever I want.

SPEAKER_00 40:48

African barking spider. Yeah, that's so far. If I could go, we gotta do another casino trip soon. We should.

SPEAKER_02 40:55

We absolutely should.

SPEAKER_00 40:56

There's no reason not to. I'll put aside a couple hundred bucks. We got a river trip coming up, end of the month. Are we gonna float? We're gonna get in the water. There's not really like a float in the at the Frio. I've I I I I knew there was gonna be water activities, but I wasn't sure if we're actually gonna float. No, like the the frio, like there's there's a couple parts that you can float, but it's like always so shallow, and like the spot where their house is, there's like a ton of like swimming holes and like rope swings and shit. Okay, so alright. Definitely I want to keep the vibe going from like your bachelor, like just games going on. Yeah, dude. But there's gonna be cornhole, yeah. Yeah, washers. Anyone have baseball gloves? I'll bring a glove. Dude, we'll get a triangle going. Just I'll bring a glove, dude. Throw some fucking baseballs around. I got a vortex. Spike ball, bring a spike ball if I have to. Piss missiles are gonna be thrown. Dude, I want to get another one of those little whistling nerf footballs. Yeah, that's vortex. Oh, that's what it's called? Yeah. Okay, you do have one? Yeah. Fucking perfect, bro. This is gonna be the best strip. This is fucking sick. Dude, that like that's one of the most nostalgic sounds. Oh like my like Oh, you want to get us two beers, man? Yeah. Uh that's like that and like the fitness grand pacer test. Sounds of my childhood. Bro, when I was in elementary school, I used to go so fucking hard on the fitness grand pacer test. I thought I was actually gonna get like the most pussy in fifth grade. Like, I'm not even joking. I remember like that. Dude, I used to go, I mean it's so funny. Like, whenever you're like in elementary school, you think like, oh yeah, the fastest kid in here is like definitely gonna get a bitch pregnant, like for sure. Yeah. I remember just like hauling as as hard as I could for like a fucking seven minute, 40 second mile, whenever I was in elementary school. Yeah, yeah. And like I would still always come in like second or third place. I'd be like, fuck, dude. It's never good enough, bro. In elementary school, if truly, if you are not first, you're last, bro. Field day comes around and like no one wants to fuck with D for the slow guy. That was the fucking that was the Olympics. 100%. Fill Day was the shit, bro. I remember Sack Race? Remember the Sack Race?

SPEAKER_02 42:48

Fuck yeah. I was already hanging with uh the wrong crowd by then. We were walking in the back. The smoking sticky nose. You're a fucking wrong field. We used to smoke paper towels.

SPEAKER_00 42:58

Dude, that's how I know you're a bad kid. Yeah, we smoke paper. I was a bad kid, bro. My fifth grade, I had to uh sit out on field day for something. I don't even remember what I did, but I I I had like you probably bit somebody. I thought I don't know what it was. I think I like got in trouble with saying something smart to one of the teachers, and I like I couldn't go to field day because of it. And um, it was like the tension for me during field day, and all my friends were out having like it's just a fucking eight-hour recess, bro. Like it was just the best day ever. And uh I'm inside, bro. And I remember at one point I was like so bored. I used to always chew on shit as a kid, like bottle caps and stuff, and I fucking almost choked to death on a Lego. Whenever I was like inside, like there's no teachers in there, also. Like it was me and like five other bad kids in like in the classroom, and I was like chewing on a Lego, and I like straight swallowed it. And like, still to this day, I don't think I still don't think I've shit it out. Like I choked on this Lego and I was like rendered.

SPEAKER_02 43:57

Joking to death in front of bad kids is funny as fuck because they're Definitely not gonna try to save you. Yeah, well, yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_01 44:02

They're like, wait, didn't that fucking facket get the second slowest mile time?

SPEAKER_02 44:05

I'm not helping them.

SPEAKER_00 44:06

He's already choking.

SPEAKER_02 44:07

Let's choke him out.

SPEAKER_00 44:09

It's like it's just like guarding like your appendix. It's like a sentry. Just pubs it up outside. It's like uh like like Lemmy Winks, yeah, from fucking South Park. You see like the the meme of like the X-ray of someone took off the stomach, they have like a toy car in their stomach. It's like I know like inevitably, whenever I'm like old enough and I have to have a surgery for some reason, it's gonna be like a fucking piece of Lego in my intestines. Lego Hon Solo in your kidneys. Oh my goodness, bro. Getting suspended from field day, that's like worse than Balogun's race. It's the fucking phone. Oh, the amount of FOMO, you might as well like like missed out on like a three-week vacation. It was like the third tower got hit. It was like fucking bullshit. I was so upset.

SPEAKER_02 44:57

That wasn't even allowed to do fucking recess. You weren't allowed to do recess? No, I was sitting on the bench. What do you mean you weren't allowed to do recess? Me and Kevin Castillo and Angel Catalan Diaz had to sit on the bench for pretty much a whole year during recess. What did you do? We didn't do any schoolwork.

SPEAKER_00 45:15

They just made y'all watch the other kids play?

SPEAKER_02 45:17

Yeah. But they passed us, but our punishment was like during recess, we didn't get to do shit. You're like, we had this, like, and if we stood up, they would tell us to sit down. That makes it sat next to the teachers.

SPEAKER_00 45:27

That's gonna make your ADHD worse. It's like I can't even burn like burn off the like activity. Like the like, you know. Bro, I just know Casey was sweating in a beanie at recess just like watching the other kids play. More of those two kids is dead. No.

SPEAKER_02 45:40

You're just playing with lighters, probably. Yeah, we were you know, trailer parts fidget toy is just a lighter.

SPEAKER_00 45:52

That's so fucking funny, dude. I wish uh I everyone talks about how like they hate high school. Like, looking back on it, bro. I loved like all my school experiences because I just didn't care about school and I just fucked off and played sports and shit. But I think elementary school was the funnest. Elementary school was so fucking funny. Yeah, do you remember like whenever you found out like middle school doesn't have recess? You really I didn't get to play. I don't I don't have to like I don't just have to watch people we're all riding the bench in middle school.

SPEAKER_02 46:25

Yeah, trading out recess for advisory is gay as fuck. What the fuck is advisor? Everybody's just like playing Halo. Playing clash of clay and shit. It's like a catch up time to do the homework for next period that you didn't fucking do.

SPEAKER_00 46:38

That's exactly what it was. That's when I first started. And your ass still didn't catch up. I know you didn't do your homework in there. Advisory is where I first like was shown gore videos. You were showing what? Gore videos. Oh, this is that was like the Don't get me started, dog. Yeah, that was bad. I've I had zero business. And we had some sick motherfuckers at our fucking stuff. Bro, Alex. Alex was the one that like showed me most of them. Yes, bro. It was Alex. Yeah, I know you were talking about, right? He's the one I remember being like in seventh grade and like he like came and hung out with us to play like football. Bro, like we were all playing football and shit one day. Seventh fucking grade. This dude like pulls out his phone like while we're walking in the park or whatever. He's like, check this out. And it's like a video of like a Mexican kid getting his head chopped off. And he's like, isn't this crazy? Yeah. And we're in seventh grade, bro.

SPEAKER_01 47:27

I was like, why the fuck are you? This is scary as shit, bro. You like send me this stuff all the time. Like, this is such a dude.

SPEAKER_00 47:34

I swear to God, we'd be he would be like showing it to you with a grin on his face. He's such a stick fuck.

SPEAKER_02 47:42

Bro, there's there's nobody's laughing. I miss his laugh so much. He had the best laugh. Do you remember the video of him playing like just dance or something when he was a kid that his sister took? It was like Bard, Bard, Bard. Bard is the one.

SPEAKER_03 47:56

Yes. Yes, yes, I do.

SPEAKER_02 47:59

Man, it's crazy because him as a kid looked exactly like him growing up, but just in like a bigger body. Yeah, it's like a mustache. Still had like a faint mustache. The same haircut, same glasses. I remember in like his mom called me. He had a full mustache.

SPEAKER_00 48:13

That that was like that is like very like uh Manhattan codied as far as like it seemed like you have like a large Hispanic population. And so like obviously the girls hit puberty first. Yeah, their mustaches early. And then so you yeah, and then and then it was all the Hispanic dudes. So it was just a bunch of just like like Hispanic and white girls like dating all the Hispanic kids, and like the white and black kids were like, ooh. It was just like like white like girls like towering over dudes with mustaches. Yeah, and they were like all in relationships. You're like, oh fuck.

SPEAKER_02 48:45

Well, the Mexicans Armando hit first, dude. There was a relationship in elementary school where the teacher forced a couple to break up and the kid like stood up and like threw a fit and was like, I love her. And like in the middle of class in fifth grade. Like they were they were fucking at Funmax, where they used to be by Specs Liquor. FunMax.

SPEAKER_00 49:07

Oh, you're talking about the trampoline place?

SPEAKER_02 49:08

Yeah, bouncing jungle. Jump and jungle. It used to be called FunMax. She's my dependent. And then now the gym. Now it's uh 12-year-old. Planet Fitness.

unknown 49:20

Ah.

SPEAKER_02 49:21

But yeah, they used to fuck in there. Hell yeah, dude. Fifth grade will dry hump at least. Fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:25

What am I gonna do about the insurance policy? That reminds me of the video. How you said like the teacher made the breakup reminds me of the video. Every time I see this video, I laugh so fucking hard. Dude, yes, bro.

SPEAKER_01 49:38

Yeah. Bro, Dante, please pull that shit up, though. You know what I'm talking about? Just look up. So why the fuck are you talking to her for? Yeah, the top one, the top one, the top one.

SPEAKER_00 49:51

Yeah. There it is. Oh yeah, this is a banger. I mean, bro. Stay the fuck away from her. Dude, I got some little girl in my ear. Hey Zack, what the fuck are you talking to her for?

SPEAKER_03 50:06

Oh hey, hey. Pull up uh put an edit on it.

SPEAKER_02 50:12

Pull up Cristiano Ronaldo watching 9-11 happen. Oh yeah, yeah. This was funny. This was funny. This is very good. This is very it's the funniest reaction I've ever seen to 9-11 in my fucking life.

SPEAKER_03 50:42

That's it. It's it's it's a good thing.

SPEAKER_02 50:49

Like stop like to me, like why is there a video like a live video of Cristiano Ronaldo reacting to 9-11 in real time? It's like on the news. What the fuck? Yeah, like well there they were who gives a fuck what Christian like what why is that a video?

SPEAKER_00 51:03

He like stubbed his toe. Yeah, he wouldn't he didn't even give a fuck about the uh what's up. That makes me think of the uh the Adam Ray uh Jason Statham reaction. Ah I'm pretty good at impressions. Here's an impression of me doing uh Jason Statham.

SPEAKER_02 51:24

After the podcast, I have to show you guys a video of someone doing a uh Christopher Walken impression.

SPEAKER_00 51:29

Seeing the fucking uh the plane coming.

SPEAKER_02 51:32

Yeah you just spilled coffee or yourself. We throw this on as background noise, Dante. Will you put on that Holland nine goals nine goals one game? Just scroll up a bit, it's already on there. Just as background noise to oh the Erling Holland?

SPEAKER_00 51:45

No, do you have a fucking you need to tap in? I remember these. I remember these.

SPEAKER_02 51:52

This is a professional game? Uh maybe semi. I've yeah.

SPEAKER_00 51:56

My favorite athletes are just self-aware shit posters. No.

SPEAKER_02 51:59

Yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_00 52:00

This looks like a like a have you seen Talbot vlogs? Oh, yeah, it's no. They're fucking hilarious. Is he hanging out with Frank Ocean at all? Um, I think one of them. I think one of them is just vlogging and beating people's asses on the side. He'll vlog, beat their ass, he'll show like other shit he's working on. Like he'll just be playing like fucking guitar hero. Or whatever, like he's like like him like DJing or like uh uh skateboarding. Just the coolest gay guy. There's just different random shit that he's doing. Isn't it Payton Talbot? Yeah, Pintalbit. The the UFC fellow. His uh yeah, his vlogs are fucking funny. I don't know. You were tapped into Peyton like that, bro. Dude, I'm interesting. That is my probably one of my favorite fighters. Behind like Corey Sanhagen, I would say. Oh bro, McGregor and fucking McGregor, Max Holloway. Finally, bro, finally an easier opponent than cocaine addiction.

SPEAKER_02 52:50

I'm looking at I'm looking at the odds on that, and uh Holloway is obviously favored, but probably wants to take McGregor, but he can never bet it's a good one. The rest of me is saying like this is like the retirement fight. Because if he beats Holloway, then what? Then what? Was he gonna come and fight somebody else?

SPEAKER_00 53:04

Who's got the lightweight? I don't think so. Islam? Gagey. Gagey does. I could see that.

SPEAKER_02 53:09

I could see that. But also I think Gagey would fucking smash him.

SPEAKER_00 53:12

Gagey has never fought Connor, huh? No, I don't think so. Okay. Imagine McGregor comes in there, somehow, somehow, beats the fuck out of Holloway, right? And he's like, Gagey, I'ma fucking take the belt back. And he goes in there, and this is his retirement fight where he fights fucking Gagey next. Imagine if they set up, he's like, look, we'll get six months. Would it be a fair shake for them to give him only like one fight to the title, though? It's McGregor, dude. You know Dana would do it. That's like if John Jones came back and they said you have to earn your way back to the title shot.

SPEAKER_02 53:41

What about Taporia though? I mean, if anything, he deserves a rematch over there.

SPEAKER_00 53:46

He didn't fight. No, no, no. I don't think he deserves a rematch immediately, though.

SPEAKER_02 53:50

Not immediately, dude.

SPEAKER_00 53:51

Deiji beat the dog shit out of Taporia.

SPEAKER_02 53:54

I mean, yeah, he did, but he deserves it more than McGregor does. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:57

Yeah, he does, but you know Dana White and you know McGregor, and you know it's gonna be the biggest selling fucking event ever.

SPEAKER_02 54:02

I think he's gonna fight Holloway and then go to like some like exhibition fights boxing again.

SPEAKER_00 54:07

You think he's gonna do BKFC? Isn't he like the president of it or some shit? Yeah. There was one promo where he's like clearly coked up. That one pool where I found where he was like, yeah, yeah. So that was part of a whole montage, beautiful montage of him just being coked out. And there's one where he's he's promoting he's supposed to be promoting two fighters, and he just ends up just talking shit to both of them, saying, like, one of you is gonna have to fight me. Not even making it about them anymore. So I think he is like an invested partner in BKAFC. I'm not sure if he's the owner. No, I think he's like the president or like like the face of it, if if you know what I mean. Maybe the face. For sure. For sure the red bloated face of the city. Yeah, dude, he's so coked up still, bro. How has he never failed the drug test? His heart rate is insane.

SPEAKER_02 54:55

Isn't he running for something in Ireland?

SPEAKER_00 54:57

Yeah, he's trying, he's talking about gonna be the president. It's like when Kanye said he was gonna become the president. I can believe you know they fucking hate him in Ireland too, right?

SPEAKER_02 55:05

Some do. Some do the lads don't. The ladies hate him. They had like that rape case.

SPEAKER_00 55:11

That's that's he did start ripping Jesus, bro. How you say it, bro. Like every single time like a celebrity comes out.

SPEAKER_02 55:20

Yeah, turn to the the leading religion in your country, and and uh yep. I mean that's a that's a thing, but also I I can't discredit that uh I won't give him the benefit of the doubt because the Lord and Savior.

SPEAKER_00 55:31

Heavy D's pointy D's point. I know this is what I was gonna bring up.

SPEAKER_01 55:35

This is what I was gonna bring up. Because that fucker for sure did that shit, dude.

SPEAKER_00 55:38

Yeah, what in Heavy D's hands were dismember. Just for sure cut a body in a fucking. Dissolve. Maybe this is our big break.

SPEAKER_02 55:47

Maybe we can crack the case like uh Heavy D already cracked it.

SPEAKER_00 55:51

Like Patton Oswald, like Pat and Oswald's like wife, like figuring out some like fucking California uh serial killer. Like where we actually we actually look into this murder. We solved the heavy D murder. Like on the side, like That's what I'm saying. We have to get him on camera. Let's just start pestering him with questions. Can we pull up details of this case actually? What's the movie where Jake is probably happin' about that? He's probably definitely not.

SPEAKER_02 56:15

Just look up Heavy D. What's the movie with Jake Jill and solving the uh what's that famous murder who never got caught? And from California. Zodiac? The movie where uh Jake Gyllenhaal is trying to like catch him or whatever with Robert Downey Jr., they never do. Oh, prisoners. I think it's called Zodiac. Oh, Zodiac. You're talking about Zodiac, yeah. We need to make an edit of Jake Gyllenhaal seeing Heavy D at the hardware store instead of that bald guy.

SPEAKER_01 56:42

Is this it?

SPEAKER_00 56:44

No, he's not famous. Nah, I don't think he's like that. I think he's capping, bro. I think he's capping about the murder case too. How much time we got? What a wild thing to 233. We got two minutes? I got last two. I'm about to shit my pants. You gotta shit, boy? Dude, that is shit so bad. Can we cut it off at two minutes early? I gotta shit, bro. I gotta hold it.

SPEAKER_02 57:05

This is so. It's warm. I thought I would drink it faster, so I kept them all down here.

SPEAKER_00 57:13

I just wanted a new one just guys. I don't want to say it's easier to say it's warm.

SPEAKER_02 57:22

This one isn't.

SPEAKER_00 57:25

You say it's room temp, or would you say it's warm? It's warm. It's warm. You motherfucker, dude. What'd you just say? It's this one isn't hot as shit, bro. It's been so much. The boys are traveling, dude. The boys are traveling. We're fucking jet setting, bro. We are traveling. Are you driving or are you are you fine? No, we're fine. Oh, yeah, you're fine. You're fine, yeah. Yeah, uh, you know, I you might have to do it. It would be a pretty drive, probably. It would be a pretty long issue. But you know what? I always thought like when I got older, I was like, I'm gonna love driving. I'm gonna love road trips and shit. I'm a big guy. Sitting in the car for that long, my back hurts after like two hours. So I'm like, I this sucks. I get road tripping ass cramps and shit. Road tripping is about the people that you ride with.

SPEAKER_02 58:02

Yeah, road tripping with your friends is probably the funniest and most fun thing you could ever do.

SPEAKER_00 58:07

That's why I was saying, like, bro, can you please carpool with us if we go to the river Thursday night? Because like I don't want to fucking drive up there just me and Peyton. Because like she always falls asleep in the car. Like, it's not like I hate riding in the car with Peyton, but she falls asleep in the car. And if I have no one to talk to and I can't listen to the music, and I'm just driving while she's sleeping, I there is a good chance I one day we're gonna just hear that we just died in a car accident on a road trip. Because I'll pass out. Like straight, I start getting heavy-eyed, bro. And then it makes me think of like when I went on road trips as a kid, like how my we would go on 17-hour road trips to Florida or Tennessee and like drive straight there, and like I would pass out, and like my dad wouldn't pass out driving. I'm like, how did he do it? Because like I I I feel I dude, I had a four-hour drive from San Antonio and I felt like I was gonna die three times. And fucking like original, original formula monster. Yeah, bro. So anyway, figure out if you can come with us. Okay, I'm I'm gonna see what my PTO looks like. I'll be honest. Like, I've been burning through that shit. Burning through it. Anyway, are you going to Boston? Yeah, going to Boston for uh a fucking uh day party. A fucking day party at fucking Boston? They're a they're a day party city. Like like the bars, like I think they do technically close at like at like one like one p.m. Like they close earlier than Texas, but they really like on their own discretion, places will shut like shut that shit down at like 1 p.m. or or one a.m. sorry. 1 a.m. uh they'll like shut that shit down. So earlier, earlier than uh than Manhattan, but uh like on their own discretion, like bars and restaurants and clubs and shit like that, they'll kind of close it up at like 11 30. Really? The last call because they're they like to be like a like a day party, like or you come out like yeah after work, get fucked up during the fucking day. Fucking happy out, yeah. Yeah, uh go over to the package. Go to the fucking packy, get some nips and get fucked up. You feel me? Uh well yeah, it's like a day party situation, go see my boy and uh just get fucked up with some Boston. Is this the dude that follows us? Yeah. This is oysters, real oysters or whatever? Yeah, okay. Yeah, that's the guy who like who put me on to the um the the digi mics. Okay, we had that like that creative thing where he's like, all right, like post-wedding, just doing like a live like man on the street, like clavicular fucking live streaming people at the wedding. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:26

Do y'all know followers on Instagram real time hockey or some shit like that?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:31

No, I don't, but I saw that you follow him back. I think he just fucks with us, bro.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:34

Bro, yeah, he requested to follow my personal.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:37

Yeah, he requested mine too. Yeah, I let him follow him back.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:40

Yeah, and I was like, he's kind of just like one of the bros now. Yeah, no. Shout out, shout out, bro.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:46

If you're watching this right now, the only reason I didn't let you follow me is because I it's my personal. I only let people I personally not follow me. But one day, one day I got you, dude. Fucking real time hockey.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:57

He's a blue-collar boy. I think he works HVAC.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:59

Really?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:00

I think, yeah. Seems like a solid guy.

unknown 1:01:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:03

Do you know his real name by chance? Can you pull up his account, Loki? Actually, I wonder if this is a guy that I fucking know. Because there's a dude that's a regular at my bar and he does HVAC and he says he watches our stuff, and I hope it's not him, dude. Because then I'm gonna feel like a dickhead. Wait, is he a hockey guy? I mean, I feel like you can't be a casual. If your name is if your name is real time hockey, you can't just be a casual.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:27

Real time. Come the fuck on. I hope it's not him, dude.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:32

There's the other guy who who fucks with us. I think he also works a trade job, but uh, he was the when we made the clip about the Asian squat thing, he said it's called a Slav squat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is you just have a tracksuit. Okay, that's not the guy I was saying. Either of these guys? No. This is him. Oh, shout out old boy, dude. We're gonna get him on here. Shout out the boy. I'll fuck with him, yeah. Just uh working on ACs. Are you gonna do some some crunchy granola activities up in Wyoming? No. Are you gonna have a creative breakthrough? Like uh whenever that's when Ye really. That's what I was gonna say. I'm I'm gonna go there. I'm gonna take a picture where Ye took his album picture in my Kanye West merch. Yeah. That's about that's like the only thing on my itinerary. I plan on getting on the water. Bro, Peyton's like spazzing the fuck out. She keeps saying, like, we need to get bear spray, we need to get bear spray. Because she's like, yeah, everyone keeps saying, like, the way that she's been talking about this trip, I think like every time she opens up like TikTok, she's seeing like a bear like maul somebody alive in Wyoming. She's like, we have to get bear spray. Yeah, I mean we have how much of an investment is bear spraying. What's it like 30 bucks? 30, 40. It's probably a good thing. No, that's what I'm saying. Like, I'm not I'm not like opposed to getting it. I'm gonna get it for sure. Because I'm not about to fight a fucking bear, dude. Yeah, it's like a it's a such like a low investment for like what you you have everything to get from Yeah, but because of the fact that she's like telling me that shit, I've thought about nothing else, and I'm like, fuck dude, are we gonna get like ran up on some bears? Like while we're out there like the body and just it, dude. What is it? What's the saying, Dante? Is it if it's if it's black, fight back?

SPEAKER_02 1:03:00

Which by the way, if it's brown, lay down. If it's brown, lay down. Which by the way, dude, I'm all on board. I don't know what it is, but yeah, yeah. If it's brown, you lay down. If it's black, you're you I don't know. If it's brown, lay down, which means uh they might just leave you alone. If it's black, they're they're gonna try to kill you.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:17

Yeah, if it's black, it smokes crack.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:19

Yeah, that's the thing, I think. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:21

I think that I think if it's brown, get out of town. Like a quarter of the size. Dude, that's such a that's a funny sketch, too. You're talking about like the slogans for like bears, but it's it's just a racist guy, like relating it to like minorities in your neighborhood. Yeah. If it's brown, get out of town.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:35

Yeah. Yeah. If it's black, attack.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:42

That's good. It's fucking black bear stole my bike. If it's white, it's alright. It's fucking polar bear. Fucking polar bear. The most aggressive bear is the polar bear. Stained white blood.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:01

Yeah, every like National Geographic picture of a polar bear is like stained red. Yeah. Yeah, it's scary.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:06

Who's the comedian? It's like, yo, I thought they drank coke. They're just fucking killing everything. They're fucking snowboarding and shit, just having a good time.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:14

The videos of them getting those baby seals are sad. Oh, dude.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:17

I don't like them. It's gonna tug them out. I don't like them.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:19

Yeah, the seals are so cute.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:21

They're like, yeah, it's like a it's a polar bear fucking eating a baby seal like feet first. It's like the slowest awful way. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna start from the back. Work my way to live. Yeah, dude. Wyoming's gonna be sick. It looks super fucking pretty. Um, Wyoming is supposed to be beautiful. I've never been. I've realized I've been to like 15 states though. Which is kind of sick. Yeah. I feel like it's a good number. Okay, whenever it comes to like, have you been to this state? Like, if you touch down like a like a layover flight and you touch down an LAX, does that count as going to California? No. Okay. And I wish it did, because then I could be like, oh, I've been to Germany. But like I was just dicking around the airport there for like six hours. Yeah, she's like Payne goes, uh, yeah, we have a layover in Minneapolis for like four hours. I was like, well, are we gonna cruise around? Like go see what's up if we have four hours. Not worth it. But also, yeah, it's Minneapolis. I'm like, it's not a well, it's not a it's not a bad airport. I've been in that airport a shitload of time. It's a very uh my fucking uh divorced dad uh visiting there as my childhood fucking solo. I used to navigate that shit solo when I was in second grade. Uh you're from you're down to Minneapolis? They have no, but it was layover to go to North Dakota. Oh, okay. They have a little lounge, it was like the fucking divorced parent lounge where it's just smoking. Yeah, well, it's like they had like uh they had PS2 games and shit like that. Oh fuck yeah. Yeah, they had Halo, and you just meet someone else who's like their parents weren't on talking terms and move clear across the country and you just chill with.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:49

Where all the bastard kids go.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:51

Like legitimately and like uh they would always have yeah, like video games and like candy back there. So it was like actually a sick setup. I I knew my way there at a certain point like I didn't need like the fucking go see dad I I get to go to the Minneapolis airport yeah but no it's not worth like uh it's it is a pretty fucking big airport it's not worth like just leaving and like coming back and seeing the city I figured I mean I didn't think we were going to but like whenever we went to like on the Alaskan cruise we stopped in Portland for a minute uh or for a day we were there for a day so we like I think it was Portland. Yeah it was I think it was Portland. Yeah maybe it was Seattle. What a big Seattle city either one either one I mean like they're gonna like yeah it's like the northwest like awesome there's gonna be a good like size like fucking homeless population. But as far as like the actual like city like I'm sure it's like there's fucking cool spots. But we landed in uh Seattle and we had like a because our crews left the next day so we had like the evening there and we like walked around like the little because it's a walk around town to walkable town. Yeah we're like going around there dude it is like the end of the world there it's like everybody's fucking standing up and their heads are touching their knees. I thought the fin I thought the Fenty fold was like a meme for like a long time. Like I didn't think it was like legit that bad god forbid someone does some outdoor yoga. You know I saw that shit and I'm like it has to feel good. It has to feel so much oh dude their fucking posterior chain is stretched out it has to feel so good. Their hamstrings are so fucking ready to go dude you just get so fucked up you're like fuck it I'll literally nap right here. Like I don't care like it look it has to feel so good. What do you think like like after being locked in that position for that long what do you think your knees feel like whenever you finally I'm worried about my back I feel like your back would be fine. Loose like loose your back is fine I feel like your knees being locked out that long just finally folding for the first time dude there was a part where like we couldn't find like parking in on the street so I just like stood in the empty parking spot and I just did a fintyfold so no one took the spot to the pulled the car up I was just like there like in in character I was like yeah they're not gonna steal my parking spot I'll do the fifty fold right that was like a like in Assassin's Creed when you would uh when you'd blend into like the the monks put your head down your incognito mode yeah yeah that's that place was like it was a really pretty town too also didn't rain once while we were there you know this could have been really really nice yeah it could probably could have that's what I always hear about San Francisco too. I mean I guess at the same time you're if you're gonna have a nice town if you're a homeless person you are still gonna be drawn to a nice town like if a place like looks like shit like you're not gonna be like there's not gonna be all the homeless are gonna be like alright let's take the first bus to fucking Tuscaloosa yeah to Biloxi Mississippi yeah fuck this dude if I'm going off the deep end i better I better have a beachside fucking view you know it's gonna be temperate like you know I'd be a fent addict in LA for sure I'm not gonna be a fent addict where there's a 110 degree heat index that's why there is no fent addicts in Texas bro there's so many I haven't seen any fent addicts well I probably there's a lot like quick because it's so hot you never hear about it. A girl who like works in the psych ward and like works like in the hospitals and shit like that has done ER shifts apparently it's a big PCP town. This is Houston yeah Manhattan yeah we're we're a big like which shocked me because I feel like like it makes your body super hot like why would you want to how do you know this what PCP? You know PCP like from uh like bad boys I never I've never seen bad boys hey he he he gets wet you know and then he starts like sweating and he's like a shower to cool him down yeah okay I'm like why would you I would I feel like that's a Detroit drug it's fucking cold out like let me I'm sure it's big let me yeah let me push a little P. Let me go let me hop into a P hole P hole you have a K hole you get a P hole and you just warm up like fuck a trash can fire I'm gonna do PCP have a good time. I didn't know that there was like the side effects were like that crazy of it. Also I was talking to uh this girl I work with mentioning like how we talked about doing lean and stuff because she had like brought it up the next day. Yeah and uh I was talking about how like you said like it made you the and she was like bro dead as it literally does do that. Like I don't know what it is but she like said like you're spot on whenever you described that fucking yummy dude is it really that good bro it's good as fuck. We gotta get fucked up off lean next episode dude we gotta just pour up a pint dude I mean Dante how much for two lines dog I don't know how much we need more than two lines for sure it tastes really good. I mean you put it with you mix it with like the best sodas like that you're just a sugar rush. Yeah you put Jolly ranch in the thing people are putting poppy in their fucking lean now they're doing putting like well I gotta balance it I gotta put prebiotics in it you know like the fat fuck you're talking about your buddy puts cane sauce in it cane sauce in lean so he usually has dipping sauce that's like Rick Ross like for sure it's like he's like lean it's like a it's like a skinny mark but like for lean dude Rick Ross it's Rick sauce yeah Rick Ross he spells it like sauce R A U C E it's like uh uh he makes like a like a Saskatchewan type of sauce like it's already sweet he makes like a I got sweet I got sweet and spicy lean sauce what are you pondering about Casey you are in deep thought about it I'm really just drunk and sleepy to be honest with you tiled today bro this is why you said you want to move to Wednesdays? Yeah because you're tired on Thursdays? Yeah music yeah I'd be more tired tomorrow than I am now I want to dude Casey looks like I I want to tuck him in so bad right now dude I'm gonna try to drive home and I'm gonna go straight to sleep he looks so tuckinable right now. Tell me like a scale of like one to ten how tuckinable is Casey that's an 8.2 tuckinable right now 8.2 there's just no World Cup games tonight that's it that's what it is that is what it is bro case isn't fucking like we've literally been watching the World Cup for the last year. Yeah I do feel a little sad today I'm not gonna lie 27 days when the World Cup's all said and done bro you you're not gonna you know what this would be the year I'm gonna over this is gonna be the year I'm gonna take you over in fantasy football. I mean you never will you never will bro I'll never fucking forget when Casey beat me in fantasy when we were on vacation in Tennessee. Oh that was that was alright. We were both in the championship for fantasy football and we were on vacation together in Tennessee and like I won I couldn't talk shit to him because like he was on vacation with me and I couldn't talk shit to him and I know he wanted to talk shit so bad so I purposely didn't talk shit to him during the fantasy week because I was like I'm so happy we're on vacation together and then afterwards he was like dude you know how fucking much it sucked win in the fantasy league and I couldn't even talk shit to you because we were on vacation together like I couldn't brag about it or anything and I was like yeah no I did that shit 100% on purpose because like on paper his team was beating the fuck out of my team and he like I at one point this was like how old were we like 19 at the time we were like kids still and he was like bro I have to win fantasy football because I have no vacation money dude I'm waiting on this if I win fantasy football like this vacation money will hit and I'll have fun the rest of the time we're here.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:57

Bro and I was like dude I hope you win bro I hope you win I went to Tennessee with a paycheck my dumbass like I just didn't cash it I just brought a fucking check to Tennessee and uh so we went to this place called checkmore a place called like cash check out this place and I'm like I want to cash this check and they're like we don't do that here dude turns turns around yeah she goes I want to cash my check casey turns around and looks at the sign when they told him no they're like we don't cash checks or he like turns around and looks at the sign he's like you don't cash check at check cash dude it was crazy I didn't go to like some other place and I wanted to take like a was it because you're from a different state or something I don't know what the what the fuck do they do there if they're do not cash checks yeah that's straight up that's I don't know I guess it was like a loan place or something maybe in case you got in the car he was so an FBI or a fucking place where case in the car he was like they need to change their motherfucking name dude this is that's like when you stop trusting the government you're like things aren't what they seem all right this is fucked up I gotta check uh cash at like Fidelity like some fucking random aspect no we tried a Kroger but I think it has to be in state account you took like a payday loan by accident I got the money and then I got the fantasy money and everything was from there but the first like three days of the vacation everybody just kept talking about like oh I can't wait to do this and can't wait to do that and I was like fuck you took out like a 200% money like APR payday loan that's what we did the what was the family guy drinking game we did too that was oh yeah we like we were first of all how did we get alcohol you were of age was that 21 you were 21 I was 20 okay okay we were that was a sick tongue when Alec was 21 and we weren't yeah it was yeah I remember I told you to you went in the liquor store in Tennessee I was like just get a bottle of Jim Beam it's like 20 bucks and I think I gave you 40 and you were like all the hell it was like Jim Beam black and it cost 40 dude bro yeah YouTube we do not condone underage drinking we do sure we do sure we do if yeah yeah he was also it was so funny like being like 21 Casey's was like get Jim beam I just wanted beer like get Jim beam but yeah I did my my living out this went by quick I was drinking uh I was drinking like a handle of Jim Beam a day I remember you're depressed bro what was going on all kinds of stuff man all kinds of stuff I just punched my sister in the fucking belly dude that just made me think of like uh I think that's silver that's crazy like I have you have either of y'all ever taken out a payday loan before no payday loan I've cashed I've I've had like four or five different PS4s that I've taken to the pawn shop and pawn them multiple times that was like white hood broke was like taking your PS4 to the pawn shop and like what can I get yeah electronics we'll give you 200 bucks it's like alright cool like alright like how much is it gonna cost when I come back and get it like very concerned about it and then never fucking going back for it just let them have the PS400 bucks and go. And then getting on Facebook Marketplace buying another one three months go by pawning it quit my job already pawn it again same thing. Luckily I had one during Harvey uh the great Manhattan storm oh yeah but yeah that was man yeah I used to I used to white kid board I literally I always had a job but I always also quit my job like immediately so I would drive I had a 89 Chevy blazer and I would drive it to the coin of no gas where I'd be like finally I would like scrounge up some coins in my house and drive to the gas station like the bitch was like damn near cutting off and I had to pay I remember going to the gas station and paying coins and the cash register guy was like oh I've been there before and I was like not ashamed of it at all I was like 17 I was like dude what the fuck are you talking about I found this oh you've been up to your neck and pussy yeah ride don't look like it fucking so I got that sir at this shit it was so cool we're not the same sir I've been there before oh you can smell my mustache huh I have a I have a shirt that has Osama bin Laden it has crosshairs on it and it says Payback's a bitch and we're going to skate one day and I just like threw a random shirt on it happened to be that one and me and my boy stopped at the gas station to get beer before we hit the skate park and we're checking out and the guy was like oh I'm so scared I was like what the fuck and then I got in the truck and looked at my shirt and I was like oh was he Indian dude he thought I was like trying to intimidate him with my t-shirt you're like yeah let me put on this fucking t-shirt go to Valero this is my daily mission that's like him meet I can give you 20 bucks Indian like it's not not even the same thing like he he he doesn't even know himself no he just saw an Indian guy in the shirt because he didn't know who it was he thought it was him he thought it was him for sure he was like did you print out a picture of me a beer hand me a beer bounce oh yeah what time we got Nante What time are they got four minutes all right we're gonna cut it earlier I gotta hit the road we're gonna do it do a set tonight beautiful boys brrrrr this is a fun week um we want to talk in case we're gonna we're gonna we're gonna tuck him in nice and tight let's do this again next week guys what do you say we're gonna do this next week I don't know we'll see all right whatever keep it kosher with that keep it kosher never kill yourself never kill yourself Michelle Obama is a man