Blink 180 Temu - RTB Ep. 26

We had some more laughs. Beers were drunk. Jokes were told. This should be a weekly thing at this point.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Yeah. You should do a weekly pick. And if I'm like above like 40%.

SPEAKER_03 0:10

That's a dub.

SPEAKER_02 0:11

I feel like.

SPEAKER_03 0:11

And I'll I'll place actual money on your weekly pick. Are you gonna start gambling whenever football comes around?

SPEAKER_02 0:16

No, I'm not gonna gamble. No, you're just gonna give up football. I'm not gonna I don't need another advice. What if we do a fantasy football? I'll I'll I was watching this this video. There's this channel that I've kind of been liking recently. This guy's name like Sam Hyde, and it was just talking Sam Hyde? Yeah, yeah, he was just shitting on kind of Dave Portnoy. Yeah. And the name of the the title of the video or the little like essay, I guess, or whatever it was uh America's Tumor. Who's it about? We Dave Portnoy. Oh, okay. We're literally like we prop this guy up and uh he's just encouraging like gamble gooning, essentially. Gamble gooning. Gamble gooning. Are you jacking off while you're betting? No, like I I you just have so many bets going on. You're just in uh in a in a because like gooning is you have all these screens open. You can't even pay attention to all of them. You can't even get all the dopamine out of each single.

SPEAKER_03 1:08

Oh, I just like gooning was just beating off.

SPEAKER_02 1:11

Yeah, but gamble gooning is having money on it. Gamble Gooning, you think is that Gamble Goon It's like what? Are we recording already? Oh, we're live. Oh shit. What's up, guys? Isn't that what Ann does? Okay. Gamble Goon Goo is what Anne does, yeah. Skip that. No, we'll keep it. No, we do our regular welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome to the Gamble Goonies. Welcome back. We're fucking back like Connor McGregor, dude. Oh gosh, darn it, dude. Don't even give me fucking stuff. So the childhood, I think I've officially became a man after Connor did that shit. It was like it was like the last ounce of childhood in me was like ready to see Connor fight again. And then that happened, and immediately it was like everything's a lie. Everything's fake as fuck, bro. So upset. It was like you got molested a second time. It was literally like the third time. Yeah, it was ridiculous, bro. Not this again. Not again, dude. He didn't even buy me dinner before he fucked me, bro. This is ridiculous. It was crazy.

SPEAKER_03 2:06

I mean, as a Dallas Cowboys fan, you'll grow to like the molestation. Bro, being a Conor McGregor fan fan has to be what it feels like to be a Dallas Cowboys fan. Not even close, brother.

SPEAKER_04 2:14

There's nothing close. Nothing close to it.

SPEAKER_00 2:18

The kick that destroyed his knee, he threw it a second time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:22

He was like, ah, fuck it. I thought it'd be a fucking other leg.

SPEAKER_00 2:26

A real Irish lad. Throwing naked kicks like that, like with no setup.

SPEAKER_02 2:30

Bro, when I first watched the fight, I thought he slipped at first. And like I thought there was like, oh the octagon's wet. I was like, he got back up. I was like, all right, we're good. And then he did it the second time, and I was like, this is not good. I was like, this is not good, brother. God give me everything. Connor McGregor's playing guard now. Bro, I was so upset. He's butt scooting. I was so upset. The worst part about it was I was in uh I was in Wyoming. So, okay, so Peyton had to do a wedding in Wyoming. And we're in the fucking also, I don't know if you guys knew it was like on the border of Wyoming and Idaho. For the longest time, I thought Idaho was just like flatland, known for potatoes, nothing there.

SPEAKER_03 3:05

It's beautiful. Bro, it's so beautiful, dude. Dude, it's beautiful. Kenzie told me she was like, we should move to Idaho. And I was like, shut the fuck up. And you look at pictures? Yeah, she sent me a video. I was like, you're falling through like tricks on the internet, but it's real. It's Idaho, Utah.

SPEAKER_02 3:20

Also, Dante, none of your people are there. It's even fucking cheer. I'm not, I'm gonna pull up some pictures.

SPEAKER_03 3:26

Yeah, well, we're from when their people are there, they say Utah. Utah. Yeah. There's no Idaho's there. Bro, it's accountability.

SPEAKER_02 3:33

It's it was so pretty. But anyway, we're uh Peyton was shooting a wedding. It looks like Europe. Dude, it's gorgeous.

SPEAKER_03 3:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:41

I guess it looks more like Canada than Europe. It's literally gorgeous, bro. We took some really good pictures. So Peyton was uh it was Saturday night, and it's like uh it's like an hour ahead, maybe two hours ahead. I don't remember the exact time zone from time zone from where we are, but it's like an hour or two ahead. And um it's an hour behind. Behind. Yeah, hour behind, that's what I meant. Yeah, and um standard time. Yeah, yeah. So we were MST. Everyone's like watching the fights, and like my messages were working, but like my internet data like wasn't working, like none of the websites would work. I could send messages, but that was just about it. And like Instagram and shit would work, but like anytime I try to use the internet, it wouldn't work. So I kept trying to like stream the fight, and like there was four fights left, and I was like, she's gonna be done in like 20 minutes, and it's like a 40-minute car ride back home. I was like, I'll make it in time for the last two fights. And like the streams wouldn't work, wouldn't work. Finally, like she's done. We get back in the car, I'm like hauling ass through the mountains, right? And like I'm like trying to get there. I keep telling them, like, keep pulling up the stream, see if it works on your phone. Wouldn't work, wouldn't work. But my text messages were still working. We're like 25 minutes away from the Airbnb. Patty, the patty fight starts. And I was like, Alright, I'm gonna miss the patty fight, or maybe I'll catch the last end of it. And I was like, Well, the patty fight just started, that buys me 25 minutes, right? The patty fight's over in a fucking minute. He submits them in like the first minute of the first round. So I'm like, I'm gonna miss the fucking McGregor fight, bro. The the second the co-main event's over in a minute, I'm gonna miss the fucking main fight. Haul as up the mountain and shit. We finally get there, pull up to the Airbnb, I get to stream up and like McGregor's walking out, and I'm like, oh fuck. I'm like, thank God. I get to watch the McGregor fight. I'm like super hyped up. They showed us like hype video and shit, and I'm like, I'm so ready, I'm so ready. And then that bullshit happens, and the whole fight's fucking over. I literally missed the entire fight card, and I was like, at least I get to watch the last one, and the last one was the only one you should you could have missed, and I was so fucking upset, bro. I was I literally felt like a little kid that like like when I imagine like whenever a kid finds out Santa isn't real, or like WWE isn't real, that's how I felt, bro. I was like, you gotta be shitting me. I was so fucking mad, bro. This all of my friends put money on it too. And everybody, I guess, cashed out because nobody thought McGregor had a chance in the first place. Yeah. So everyone cashed out, but I was so pissed off.

SPEAKER_03 6:00

Well, even the people that bet McGregor. Most sportsbook completely refunded everything, McGregor. Really? Yeah. That's kind of nice. Yeah, they refunded it. So if you did bet money on McGregor, then you got avoided, but if you bet money on Holloway, you kept it. Yes and no. It it depends on on what you use and on. There was a guy I saw on Twitter who was using a bookie who bet Max, and the fight happened that way, and his bookie says he was voiding everything and not paying out Max's win. But I think everything pretty much got voided as aside a max win. I feel like Max wins paid out. Connor McGregor loss got voided for the game.

SPEAKER_02 6:36

If it would have been voided as like a uh like a stoppage, like an injury stoppage, I should I feel like it should have been voided, but they called it a TKO. Well, I think doctors and I thought doctor stopped stoppages usually are TK. Yeah, doctor stoppages usually voided. But they called it a TKO, and I feel like that wasn't a TKO. Certainly not. Who is it on the internet as a TKO? Is that a TKO? I'm not the expert at all, but I I I would have thought because I I fell asleep before this shit happened. I literally passed out of the case. Quick crazy.

SPEAKER_03 7:05

I made Kenzie stay awake for this. I was like, oh, you gotta watch it, you gotta watch it.

SPEAKER_02 7:09

I slept dumbest fucking look ever. I fucking slept through it, dude. I was hammered. I think like something similar happened to O'Malley one time. And it got voided. Exact thing happened to McGregor last time. I think it was even longer. Like I think O'Malley like went even longer.

SPEAKER_03 7:23

Well, yeah, O'Malley was trying to I think he was trying to get the loss off his record whenever it happened whenever he got injured. Like like uh because he was undefeated at the time and he got injured and lost. Expunged. Yeah, he was trying to get it expunged pretty much. But I mean he he clearly lost the fight, but I think he had a lower leg injury. Yeah, but at least there was contact in that fight. Exactly. Like in this fight, there wasn't even the first round. This is off of a misfortune.

SPEAKER_02 7:48

The first time wherever he broke his foot, yeah. I feel like that that for sure should be a TKO because uh he broke his foot because of contact. Because yeah, that wasn't like Dustin Fourth Round. Yeah, yeah. Like they fought for a minute. Yeah. Whereas like this was, I mean This was immediate. Like immediate, and it was so immediate that even Holloway was like, I'm not gonna hit him. Like he's can't fight. He did like Holloway didn't even want to hit him. He was like, He's he's hurt, like I'm not gonna hit him. He kept looking at the ref like, do something, like stop it, yada yada. I think Holloway landed like one or two like minor shots and then they called it.

SPEAKER_03 8:19

Just you and afterwards they're like hugging when Holloway was like, What the fuck did you come back for? Did he really say that? You're lying.

SPEAKER_04 8:25

No, that's not really saying it's just so fucking funny.

SPEAKER_05 8:29

And McGregor's like, Your wife is in me, DMs.

SPEAKER_03 8:32

McGregor, isn't McGregor running for to be like the president of Ireland or some shit?

SPEAKER_02 8:36

It's like when I think we talked about this last episode too. Yeah, it's like when Kanye ran for president.

SPEAKER_03 8:40

It's like that's how I vote on politics, is who wouldn't fight? That's why you voted for Biden. Yeah, Mitch McConnell and Grincy. Did Lindsey Graham just pass away?

SPEAKER_02 8:48

Yeah, he got shot in the fucking head.

SPEAKER_03 8:49

What?

SPEAKER_02 8:50

Yeah. No, it didn't. Yeah, he got shot in the head. By who? Trump. Trump like literally went to his house and shot him in the fucking head.

SPEAKER_03 8:55

It's the first time hearing of this.

SPEAKER_02 8:57

Was you didn't hear it from me. So like but that is what happened.

SPEAKER_03 9:00

I heard it from you. Just heard it from you. Uh I'm gonna pass that on. My grandparents will be devastated.

SPEAKER_02 9:06

Duels would be sick.

SPEAKER_03 9:07

Dude, honestly, if you put like gold to like president, but also imagine like Imagine like the worst guy ever winning the duel and being like, oh fuck. Yeah, dude. He's probably gonna fucking shoot us, too. It's just fucking Pete Davidson is really good with quick draw. Quick draw Pete Davidson. Dude, that would suck. That would suck.

SPEAKER_05 9:26

That's why he got rid of all of his tattoos, but he's about to run for office.

SPEAKER_03 9:30

Oh gosh. Maybe like a high school office or something.

SPEAKER_05 9:33

That is what we need. We need a comedian in an office.

SPEAKER_03 9:36

We have a comedian in an office. It's not going well. The straight up for moves is gay. That's far from straight.

SPEAKER_02 9:44

Alright, yeah. See, bro, presidents used to get Andy Jackson.

SPEAKER_03 9:47

What do you call it? What do they call it 20? They call it a dub. A what? A dub.

SPEAKER_04 9:51

A dub?

SPEAKER_02 9:51

A dub. Dubs. Shit, straight dubs on dubs, dubs.

SPEAKER_03 9:55

Most gangster president of all time.

SPEAKER_02 9:56

That is kind of weak for that time. Why don't they just box? Like, why not just just throw hands? Oh yeah, Lincoln used to wrestle. Yeah, Lincoln was like a like a legit wrestler. Teddy Roosevelt used to wrestle with himself every time you looked in the mirror. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:10

Teddy Roosevelt's eye, his bad eye was from a professional boxer. He challenged him to a fight and the boxer punched him in the face and his eye went bad. And then did Teddy like beat his ass afterwards? Mm-mm.

SPEAKER_02 10:19

He said never to talk about it. Damn, that sucks. I used to fuck with Ted up.

SPEAKER_03 10:23

Look up Teddy Roosevelt, boxer, bad eye. Teddy Roosevelt. Yeah, he did that shit though. I mean, like, that's like the type of thing.

SPEAKER_02 10:28

By the way, Alec, George Washington was also another one that would challenge people to duels. Young Washington. How about that movie? Well, you saw the shit, um Would you say look up? Yeah, fuck it. I I'm I remember boxing hearing this book where it was like uh uh apparently uh Abraham Lincoln before he was in office, he was just like a kind of like a like a political like commentator. Like he'd write like articles, yeah, like scholarly articles, and um, and he was very, very intelligent, but he would write like scathing shit about if someone criticized one of his uh his opinion pieces, people would like or he would just crazy, right?

SPEAKER_00 11:06

He would just do distracts on people basically. Just just say like very, very inflammatory shit to people.

SPEAKER_02 11:11

Yeah. Uh because he's like very, very gifted with his words and like very intelligent. Uh and then finally, somebody was like, nah, I'm like, I'm not letting that slide. And it turns out like this guy was uh like a like a decorated general or something like that. Like had been like groomed in combat like his whole life.

SPEAKER_00 11:28

And uh and they're like, How do you like alright, how are we gonna settle this? You want guns or swords? And Abraham Lincoln's like, I don't want to get shot, so uh fuck it swords, swords on horseback. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_03 11:40

And uh Abraham Lincoln starts like his argument was that he he didn't want to get shot, so he wanted to do swords?

SPEAKER_00 11:46

Yeah, he's like, I feel like I have more of a chance with swords for some reason. So I never get shot never fought with swords, so he starts like getting lessons on how to sword fight to this guy who's been doing it his whole life. Some John Snow shit. He's like, Well, I I'm like like, and then uh at the like the last moment, like before this duel is like gonna happen, and like Abraham Lincoln's already accepted, like, I'm gonna fucking die via sword. Why did I sign up for this? This guy's gonna fucking kill me. And uh, and the other guy just decides to let bygones be got bygones. Well, he was capping. It was literally just to decide by like, eh, I got over it. I gave it a few weeks later. He was capping, dude. He's like, I sat on it a few weeks. But it's the India and Pakistan.

SPEAKER_03 12:23

What's crazy is they don't actually have news.

SPEAKER_02 12:25

They're just like, ah, that's just fucking.

SPEAKER_03 12:26

Lincoln got shot anyways. He's like, I don't know. He's still like, I don't want to kill this guy. Yeah, it's dick. He got out of it and was just like watching a play. And then I guess maybe that guy came back.

SPEAKER_00 12:38

Well, that was like a turning point in Abraham Lincoln's life, because like he was like, that was like the huge like humility lesson. Like I was literally, my words almost got me to get fucking killed on horseback with the sword.

SPEAKER_02 12:48

Bro, it's so funny. Like back in the day, like you had a yeah, you're talking so much shit, you're like, oh fuck, I guess I have to start practicing sword fighting. This guy's gonna fucking chop me in half, bro. I just was running my mouth, and he was like, on God.

SPEAKER_00 13:02

Yeah, like you're uh you were talking shit to Alex Beheter.

SPEAKER_02 13:05

Alex Beheter, like fucking, oh, oh, for real? Yeah. And then you're like, I'm gonna I'm gonna do wrestling for a few weeks. Like, dude, he's like, fuck that, I gotta free the slaves now. He called, but he just called my gangster, bro. I gotta free the slaves.

SPEAKER_00 13:21

Your trainer's like, you're fighting who? Alright, man. I'll tell you, I'll teach her to sprawl, I guess. That's what it was.

SPEAKER_02 13:29

Wyoming was beautiful anyway. Um I mean, like transition. Fucking Wyoming, dude. It's oh dude, we went and saw we went to Yellowstone too. Yeah. Yeah, we went and saw Old Faithful. It was like, I don't know if we just didn't catch a good geyser. It was kind of underwhelming. It's not all that. It was kind of it was kind of underwhelming. Yeah, there's like geysers that are in the world. It was cool to see it's cool because it goes off like every hour, like on the hour, damn near. Yeah. It's like like every hour and like 20 minutes it goes off.

SPEAKER_03 13:58

Yeah, it's cool if you're like a geologist or something like that. If you're just into like drinking beer and sports, it's kind of fucking a little bit more.

SPEAKER_02 14:03

It was like walking through quema, you know, like where the water shoots up at quema. Yeah, I was like, that's like all it was.

SPEAKER_03 14:07

I think Yellowstone has less Mexican kids though. Dude, there's no Mexicans at all. Not a single wet white hand system. Wine drunk mom. Yeah. There's no Mexicans at the white the white t-shirts being wet at quema is a real thing. And it's just fucking disgusting. I hate it. It's like ever since I grew up, like once I got old enough to like take myself places, I've never taken myself to Kima Portal.

SPEAKER_02 14:32

I don't think I would go either.

SPEAKER_03 14:34

Not once. I mean, why the fuck would I go back to?

SPEAKER_02 14:35

Do you remember when we went to Kima to go watch that like Blink 182 tribute band? Did we do that? Maybe it wasn't. It was with Dallin. I went with Dallin. That's what it was. Yeah, that sounds more correct. It was like Blink 182 and Green Day, and it was the same band. They did Green Day and then Blink 180. I thought it was like two different bands. Yeah, they just switched their accents from like American Midwest to English. They just switched shirts and took a symbol off.

SPEAKER_00 14:59

Oh, you fucking saw like Blink 180 T Mu. Dude, it was definitely what it was.

SPEAKER_03 15:04

Blink 180 T Mu. It was bro, it was Walmart. Dude, there was episode episode name for sure.

SPEAKER_02 15:09

I was like excited as fuck to watch them. They were so fucking trash. I was like, this and then they were selling like merch. Oh. Imagine like being in a tribute band and you're selling like merch. Or just bought all the shit off the guy at the outside of the stadium. I think their name was like Blink832, 832. Oh. Yeah, bro. Which is like clever, but like you better be able to hit the notes. No, Blinker. Blinker Blinker, yeah. Blinker 832. Was that good at this? No, dude, none of it was good.

SPEAKER_03 15:36

Jeez, it's so hard to sing that bad.

SPEAKER_02 15:38

It was so bad that we went and saw how many Mexican kids in white t-shirts were running through the water instead. We're like, fuck this. Fuck this concert.

SPEAKER_00 15:47

I'm going to the wave pool. It was terrible. You can see the nipples through the shirt. Oh dude. Yeah. It's just it's just like in some fat Hispanic's belly button.

SPEAKER_02 15:59

That wasn't good, bro. I wouldn't see him again.

SPEAKER_03 16:03

No. No, I'd hope not.

SPEAKER_02 16:05

How was Boston? Boston, dude. I went to a fucking dotty. Uh it was a day party for my former roommate from years back and one of my friends from high school. His I mean, I guess it was kind of her birthday, even though her birthday was the following day. But it was just like a I literally just went out there for a day razor, basically. You were roommates with a girl? No, with with the with the dude. Oh my friend. My friend Kwana. Actually? Yeah, no, dude, he met his wife by like his wife's birthday? Yeah. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 16:35

That's where I got lost. He uh he he met his wife while he was in Houston because he was using dating apps and he just changed his settings. Yeah. He'd be like, I'm in Boston. And he's smashing with girls in Boston before he moved there. Smart move. Just do a recon.

SPEAKER_02 16:50

That's pretty good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:51

And then he actually like met up like, hey, when you get here, like let's like hang out. And then like it was a rap for my guy. You have to have a VPN to change your settings on Tinder? No. No, that's not that difficult. You literally just change your. I thought it was like your location type shit. We could y'all, I mean, it can go like that, or you can change it. Dude, I'm gonna make a I'm gonna make an Alec profile. Oh, dude, please get me in trouble. Please get me in trouble, dude. Dude, go ahead and make me one too. What do you do if you find out if you just see who fucks more? Yeah, how upset would you be if like you like made me a a profile and I got just way more bitches than you? That would be I mean 6'4. 6'4 would definitely help you on there. That's pretty nice. Yeah, I have a couple pictures with my dick print, it looks crazy too. I can send you those.

SPEAKER_00 17:39

6'4 conservative. It all goes down.

SPEAKER_02 17:43

Yeah, just bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. Yeah. Uh no, I'll put you as trans conservative. Oh, it'd probably be even loaded more. It'd be even loaded. Fine, just niche, yeah. For sure. No, it'd be funny because you'd look different in every single picture. I do look different in every picture. Curly hair, no beard. I use a photo of you from like 2021. Uh where you you have like a full head of hair. And then yeah, I I would I I would gradually make you like less hair. Yeah, every time I scroll, I get older. Well, actually, I I would do that, and then at the last one you have hair. I'm like, did he get did he get a transplant? Yeah, what the fuck did he do? Yeah, did you just the bio just would be like I went to Turkey? It's just like that's it. And then the pros.

SPEAKER_03 18:25

I think we're selling military jets to Turkey right now. Yeah, we are.

SPEAKER_02 18:28

We're about to go to like a full-blown war.

SPEAKER_03 18:30

Israel is saying, hey, don't do it. They're a Muslim brotherhood and they want America to die. Yeah. And Trump is saying, I'm gonna sell these jets to the Turks. And uh I don't know. Just fun fact. I guess that's just what I know about Turkey right now.

SPEAKER_00 18:47

Is is Turkey like super Muslim? Uh, I'd like they're not like covered in the world.

SPEAKER_03 18:50

I didn't think that they were super Muslim. I thought they were uh just like chill.

SPEAKER_02 18:55

Just like like um like like loose, like practicing muscles.

SPEAKER_03 18:58

Because I feel like they're not like covered up wearing the yeah, I've had family that went on vacation there and they're they came back with a full head hair.

SPEAKER_00 19:05

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:09

I hate doing this during the episode. What can you pass one too? Can we pass me two beers so I don't have to ask you again? Can you pass me six beers? It's like give empty the fridge on the floor, please in the middle of the floor. It's a privilege. That's what we need a giant bucket of ice and says here we're selling on them F-35 stealth stealth fighter jets.

SPEAKER_02 19:23

Yeah, yeah, no, we're actually about that shit, bro. The Turks are about to go crazy. Thank you, sir. Well, the Israel's over there talking about like how they're an enemy now.

SPEAKER_03 19:30

It's time for a new Middle Eastern country to do something because I'm tired of hearing about all the fucking eyes. Israel, Iraq, Iran. Get them the fuck out of here. Let's get a T in there. Let's get Turkey.

SPEAKER_02 19:40

Let's get a Qatar.

SPEAKER_03 19:41

Yeah, give yeah, give me Qatar. They just hosted the World Cup. They're civilized now, they can fucking go to war. Tucker Katarson. They got nice they don't fucking have anyone there though. A Qatar? They don't have very. Well, I think everybody died building the stadiums for the World Cup. Yeah. That's what I saw. I'm I'm curious. I think they like legit used slavery to build the stadiums for the World Cup. 100% did.

SPEAKER_02 20:02

They have that in Dubai and shit. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:04

Like they actually still have slaves over there, which is crazy. I'm getting blamed for that today still. I've never had a single one except McKinsey. Except Dante.

SPEAKER_02 20:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:13

Dante, look that up. We give him beer and cigarettes, dude. Well, he gives us cigarettes. We give them beer between Dante's more of an intimate.

SPEAKER_02 20:19

Between 400 and 500 migrant workers died building the World Cup Stadium.

SPEAKER_03 20:23

Imagine getting a work visa with a lot of people. Yeah, I'm going to Qatar, bro. It's going to be sick. I'm going to spend a year over there on a work visa. I'm going to come back and tell you about it.

SPEAKER_02 20:29

That's fucking insane. Like you're over there just kicking a soccer ball and like 500 people died on that turf, so you can kick the soccer ball from the city. Yeah, we're not talking about like look, all the footballers are. Bit of a disclaimer, bit of a disclaimer. It says only 37 deaths directly related to stadium construction.

SPEAKER_03 20:45

That's still very high. If a company has like an OSHA-related death, that bitch is shut down for a minute. Yeah. They had 37 people die and it all got built up. It's just next man up. Yeah. It's just next man up. Yeah, there's people on the way that's to build a stadium.

SPEAKER_02 20:59

That's how it is in Rooten. When we went to Road 10, bro, it was like they don't have like OSHA. They don't have any regulations over there when they're building shit. It's literally just like Mexicans and flip-flops that need needed some money for the day. But at one point I was like on vacation. I was on vacation there and um looked outside the window, just thunderstorming out the as. There's a kid, like they don't have scaffolding. So they had like a ladder, and then there was like a like a like a rock that was sticking out from the side of the house, and they just put like a two by four between them. It was like walking back and forth, like 40 feet up in the air. Wow. Like walking back and forth, like hammering shit. And I'm like, this is fucking insane.

SPEAKER_03 21:39

Everybody wants to complain about like OSHA violations, OSHA regulations, until someone asks you to do something like that.

SPEAKER_01 21:45

They don't complain over there either.

SPEAKER_03 21:46

No, they don't. And over here, it's like I'm not getting up on that ladder, it's too high. Yeah, OSHA wouldn't approve. It's ninety degrees outside.

SPEAKER_01 21:53

Yeah. It's fucking hot.

SPEAKER_03 21:55

Don't be gay, dude. There's there's foreigners walking across forty foot tall. Bridges that is a two by four rocking a ladder. It's crazy. But they don't get they didn't care at all. That's crazy. Yeah, they don't give a fuck.

SPEAKER_02 22:05

It's literally next man. Bro, there was like five times we were driving around.

SPEAKER_03 22:10

I'd be grateful to fall off the ladder there.

SPEAKER_02 22:12

There's like five times we were driving around the island, and like there's just someone like died on a motorcycle, like laying on their side, and whatever, and people just drive by. They're just like you saw that broke. Bro, I think they just let him, I think they just let him decompose there. Like, I mean it's literally next man up, bro.

SPEAKER_00 22:28

You drove past a dead body in Rose?

SPEAKER_02 22:30

At least two of them, I think. Bro, there was one that was bro. Peyton's dad is like, I guess, so used to it that at one point it was like middle of the night. We were driving back from like one of the bars, like to go back to his house. And it's like through like not there's no street lights or anything there, so it's just like dark, and like you're on like gravel terrain and shit. And we drove past uh a motorcycle that was like clearly like wipe out wreck in the middle of the road, and the body was nowhere to be seen. So I we think he like either flew off the cliff or into the trees or something, and we just smooth drove right past it. And Greg was like, Yeah, that shit happens all the time.

SPEAKER_05 23:12

He's like and he's just high as fuck, like yeah, no, that happens a lot. Just smooth kept driving, bro.

SPEAKER_00 23:23

I think that does get high as fuck. I'm thinking it's more like someone just set their bike down rather than fucking cartoonish.

SPEAKER_02 23:29

It was like wipeout, bro. Like it was like clear as day wreck. Like the handlebar was crooked and shit. There's glass on the road, like they spun out, bro. Like, uh and there was nowhere, there were nowhere to be seen. Like they're in the trees, they're like in the back of the house. In the ditch. I'm surprised like a little kid didn't come out and just take the bike, was like, oh fuck, free loop. Like, there's next guy. Yeah, that's how it is, bro. Like over here, bro, they'll try to like save your life.

SPEAKER_03 23:57

It depends.

SPEAKER_02 23:58

Like, they'll resuscitate you if like even if you have a tattoo that says don't do that shit.

SPEAKER_03 24:03

No, they can't. They legally can't.

SPEAKER_02 24:05

I don't think tattoos alive, they don't think they hold up. If you have a tattoo that says do not resuscitate, I don't think they give a fuck about that.

SPEAKER_03 24:10

You have like a whole contract like printed on your fucking sign here. No, yeah, you can sue if they resuscitate you. Someone saves you.

SPEAKER_02 24:17

Imagine getting I saved your life and you're getting sued for it. That's definitely happening. It has to be like super visible, right? Like you're not gonna do it. I think so.

SPEAKER_03 24:23

Like crossing on your somewhere like visible, like unclothable, I guess would be the word. I don't fucking know. Also, anybody that has that tattoo should probably fucking die anyways. That has a tattoo? If anybody that has a tattoo that says, Don't fucking bring me back to life if I die, better off with Adam. Yeah, fuck it, dude. You don't want to be here, dude. Fuck it. I don't give it. Don't be here. I don't want anybody that doesn't want to be here. Get off my team. You're on my team. Yeah, you're not playing. Dude, technically don't act like you don't want to be here.

SPEAKER_00 24:49

You yeah, you probably you're not it's not a very pragmatic tattoo. Like they have a good you're like the guy the guy, your actuary is the guy handling your life insurance policies.

SPEAKER_03 25:00

Anybody with the tattoo that says do not resuscitate is the same thing as like a diva wide receiver. I'm not getting the ball enough. Like, all right, go join another tattoo. Go play for the Browns, you'll get the ball a lot over there. Go get the fuck out of here. Go to hell, kill yourself. I don't give a fuck. I don't I don't care where you go. You're still not getting the ball. Stop crying about it, bitch. Play your role. That's I mean, bro, somebody give me a team, please. I need to be handed a sports team. I don't care about the team. Come root for the Texans, dude.

SPEAKER_02 25:26

Come root for the Texans. No, no, no. I'm talking about no, no, never. Ew. Come on, dude. Ew, dude. Head coach mentality, bro. Like, you really are. You might be Roation, dog. Just next man.

SPEAKER_03 25:36

All defense, no offense. Couldn't I mean that's it's a great formula for a team, but watching it boring is funny. Defense wins games, buddy. Unless you're the Texans. Defense wins games. Don't put asses in seats, though. I mean, watching like shootouts between the Texans and the Colts is I I mean, I'd like I'll I'll just start going to Reese's gymnastics.

SPEAKER_02 25:57

That's but I remember I remember whenever like you put Reese in gymnastics whenever she was like four or five months old or some shit.

SPEAKER_03 26:04

And you're like bitching about it because it was a hundred dollars a week, and they were like forcing her to do flips. They were just like holding her and flipping her, and we'd like clap, and it was like, alright, what the fuck is this? I could do this shit in my living room. Yeah, we yeah, we can do this at home. Get a Matt off Amazon, I'll fucking flip her anyway.

SPEAKER_02 26:18

I was giving you shit to like uh uh Kenzie was like, yeah, she's been in gymnastics for like two months. I'm like, yeah, hey Reese, do it, backflip.

SPEAKER_03 26:25

She still can't. She just started doing Gnostics again. That's what she calls it as Nastics. She's got like eight leotards. It's whatever, I guess. I don't even know. I went one time to watch and she wouldn't do it, so now I'm not allowed to go anymore. Dang, she's got a stage fight. Yeah. Yeah. Probably because you knew you were gonna fucking if you don't want to be here, fuck off. If you don't want to be here, get the fuck out of here. Somebody give me the reins of a sports team again, please. Let me turn the franchise around.

SPEAKER_02 26:51

If you could right now, if you could uh coach a soccer team or a football team. Football. All right, I'm just hyped up on soccer.

SPEAKER_03 26:58

Yeah, uh soccer's an awesome sport, but I know way I know way more about football.

SPEAKER_02 27:02

Can you even coach a soccer team really? Casey, we can like watch the Premier League this team and like pick a team.

SPEAKER_03 27:08

That's what I'm gonna do. Right now, I mean, just because of like Holland, I'm leading Man City, but then also it seems gay to pick one of the better teams, so I'm kind of I'm thinking about picking like a mid-team.

SPEAKER_02 27:17

I mean, uh pretty much all the teams in Premier League are like decent.

SPEAKER_03 27:21

Yeah. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 27:22

I thought it was Premier League. Premier?

SPEAKER_03 27:25

Premier Premier. Yeah, it's like you say like one of them. Yeah, it's like Lamin Yamal versus Lamin Yamal. The British people say Yam all. It's crazy. Premier League. How crazy is it that he got to uh World Cup final without scoring a goal? He didn't score a goal yet?

SPEAKER_02 27:39

He scored a goal in the World Cup, I think. Was it the penalty? I can't remember. I think it was a good one. Because if it wasn't the penalty, I don't think he did. It was from the wing, like he came up like from on the byline. I could have sworn I got caught for all sides, though. I saw him.

SPEAKER_03 27:49

He did get caught for offsides in the last game. Yeah, I don't think Laminia Mala scored a single goal. Really? That's been like a discourse. This is a perfect thing to Google during the break.

SPEAKER_02 28:00

Yeah, that was first 30 already. Yeah, to be fair, you ordered that jersey before Erlen Holland blew up.

SPEAKER_03 28:06

Well, you before he blew up. Yeah, before he blew up here. Now he's like, I would I would go as to far as to go as far as to say he's almost like uh an American staple now. Like if you ask any American, like the best soccer player in the world, it's either gonna be Ronaldo, Messi, or Holland, because that's like the only three names over here, to be honest with you.

SPEAKER_02 28:26

Well, yeah, because he kind of like ingratiated himself because he like doesn't take himself too seriously.

SPEAKER_03 28:31

Yeah, and he was also like he spoke very highly of the US, like he didn't come over here saying like he obviously had a great time, bought a bunch of raccoon um stuffed I don't even know what that shit's called anymore. Taxidermy. Oh yeah, he bought a bunch of raccoons like holding liquor bottles and squirrels holding liquor bottles. I saw he spent $10,000 at a Westernware store in Dallas. Uh he just really he came over here and he had a he was pretty much on vacation. He knew the Norway team wasn't gonna win it all, he just had fun. And I think uh did you all see his post-game interview?

SPEAKER_02 29:02

No, dude, he's so humble. He's such a Brazil, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:07

To be honest, I didn't think we would beat Brazil.

SPEAKER_02 29:12

I mean, it's just cool. That was a really good club. It's cool, dude. It's cool. He's like Clav, he's like Clav of the Thief World Cup.

SPEAKER_03 29:16

His dude is so much better than Clav. Yeah, he's so much better than I would actually Clav's dick now. I would yeah, the pleasure of kissing the tranny really did it for me. Uh yeah, that that turned me off for sure. Dick on soft for sure. Uh but Holland, dude, I'd follow him into fire for sure. For sure. And also after visiting Norway and experiencing a Norwegian that cool. I mean, it can't get any better. Being welcome home with like they had Norwegian fighter jets flying beside the team plane. Welcomed home to like almost every Norwegian ever waving Norwegian flags. It's the American dream happening in Norway.

SPEAKER_02 29:53

That does sound nice. Yeah, it's fantastic. It's like post-9-11 stuff.

SPEAKER_03 29:56

It's gotta be so cool to like be allowed to be proud of where you're from.

SPEAKER_02 29:58

I know, bro. It's gotta be awesome.

SPEAKER_03 30:00

If you're proud of where you're from here, somebody's gonna shoot you in the back of the back with an unregistered firearm.

SPEAKER_02 30:05

Cowardly.

SPEAKER_03 30:06

Yeah.

unknown 30:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:07

I mean, it can be cowardly, but most places it'll be like national pride.

SPEAKER_02 30:12

Like, the bigger a country gets, like, it's hard to have like when the Patriots China has it. China has national pride?

SPEAKER_03 30:20

Fuck yeah, China has national pride. Yeah, but they're not allowed to not have national pride. That's fair. That's fair. But it's like when uh the Patriots were good. Everybody hated the Patriots, and everybody who was a Patriots fan was proud to be one. The Patriots are the best, this and that. Like, man, fuck Tom Brady, fuck this and that. But I mean, it goes down in history as one of the best sports teams of all time.

SPEAKER_01 30:39

Dynasty.

SPEAKER_03 30:39

For sure. And uh the USA is definitely the biggest dynasty of all time. The biggest. The biggest. The biggest dynasty? Like I would I would say so, yeah. I think we almost well, I mean, in history, we know who has complete control of the world, but I can tell you who's the longest.

SPEAKER_00 30:58

Yeah, I'm like, they like literally have a legit like whole ass like thousand-year family dynasty.

SPEAKER_02 31:02

China's been like around like it's like the longest reigning country that's never changed.

SPEAKER_03 31:06

Yeah, but they're poor now.

SPEAKER_02 31:08

China? Yes.

SPEAKER_03 31:10

China's not poor?

SPEAKER_02 31:12

China's not poor.

SPEAKER_03 31:13

China's not poor, dude. We're in debt to China. What is what is it called? The Wong? What's their currency called? I'm trying not to be trying to be rich.

SPEAKER_02 31:20

Have you seen China? I'm talking about their currency.

SPEAKER_03 31:23

Their currency is what I'm referring to. It's called like, what is it called? I mean, yeah, we I mean we got them, but like they're still they got paid.

SPEAKER_00 31:31

We well, I mean I guess we're paid. To be fair, like we are we are definitely a dynasty to say the biggest I mean like you could uh Roman Empire and shit like that. Like you like the I'm not yeah, I'm not necessarily talking stats, I'm talking about status.

SPEAKER_03 31:44

Like we're flying directly into the sun. Icarus, Icarus, however the fuck you say it, the wax wings, they're gonna melt eventually. I'll be long gone before then.

SPEAKER_00 31:54

They're gonna melt and then we're gonna smoke it in vapes.

SPEAKER_02 31:58

That's another that's the next thing China's. We're gonna have one Chinaman still alive to test all the vapes before you smoke to make sure they're safe. You know what?

SPEAKER_03 32:06

Fuck it. That's a good job. I'm glad they're so good at creating jobs in China. That's a job, it's to hit a vape.

SPEAKER_02 32:12

No, that's slavery, dude.

SPEAKER_03 32:13

Like those those guys, poor guys, to like being like, Oh, I'm not addicted to vapes, I don't smoke, I don't drink. It's like, well, my job is to test vapes. You take a puff of fucking thousands of vapes every day, you're worse off than any of us here. Yeah. It's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 32:29

I know a couple guys are definitely on par with a Chinaman factory worker, though.

SPEAKER_03 32:33

Oh, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 32:34

Right, I know plenty of guys. Oh, for sure. Yes. Yeah, like when I've always insane. Like when a person loses their vape, like how they fucking feel it's like you think you lost your child. I couldn't imagine.

SPEAKER_03 32:48

I haven't lost her yet, but if I do, I'll freak out. That's what happened. You where's my geek bar? Where's my geek bar? Just uh prisoners break in the sink. Where's my geek bar?

SPEAKER_04 32:58

In the fucking hole. Somebody's retarded something.

unknown 33:02

Where's my geek bar?

SPEAKER_04 33:04

Oh no! I didn't have it. My aunt has it.

SPEAKER_03 33:10

Remember when uh my my mom and stepdad confiscated Devin's vape, but it turned out to be his older brother than he would just hit me up once a month. He'd be like, Can I have my brother's vape back? And I'd be like, dude, I think they gave it to their friends. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 33:24

Bro, they were definitely ripping that shit bowling O's in their bedroom.

SPEAKER_03 33:27

They gave it to this guy named Craig. Why? Because he vaped. That's so funny. And they took it out of my truck. My parents were crazy. Well, my mom and my stepdad were crazy. They would they would pull up on they had my location, they would pull up on me to see if I was locking my car or not. And if it wasn't locked, they would steal it. They stole my truck. I got stranded, like I got stranded and I didn't put it in. We were swimming. It was after Harvey, we were swimming at the baseball fields because the baseball fields were flooded. It was like a pool. We were swimming. Walked back over and my car was gone, and I called my mom. I was like, hey, my car's gone. She was like, I know, get your ass over there. I was like, how the fuck do you want me to get over there? You took my fucking car. And they picked me up and they showed me the vape, and I was like, that's Devin's. And they're like, alright. They just stole it? They didn't even give it back to Devin's parents.

SPEAKER_04 34:13

They had Devin's glasses. They stole his glasses. Fucking Velma ass.

SPEAKER_03 34:19

He's got his glasses back. But I remember for the longest time. Whose glasses are these? No, that's my mom. Was like, dude, that wasn't his vape. Like, he needs it back. It's his brother's brother's probably whooping his ass right now. And she's like, we don't have it anymore. Your parents are just blowing clouds.

SPEAKER_02 34:31

That's what I'm saying, bro. They're definitely like locking the door at night, just turn the fan off.

SPEAKER_03 34:37

Actually, it turns out they were locking the door at night and uh getting into crazy arguments and abusing each other. He's like, dude, yeah, your dad's like, I don't want to give the vape to Craig. Why do you like Craig so much? Why do you want to give DM so much?

SPEAKER_00 34:51

Two middle-aged parents like arguing and be like, pass you the vape.

SPEAKER_02 34:55

Dude, that's gonna be us like as parents. Trying to raise your kid and you're just like mid-argument just.

SPEAKER_03 35:02

If Reese, if I ever catch Reese with a vape, Kinsey will be the last one to know. Oh, dude. Because I'm pocketing that shit so quick. So quick. Because eventually we'll get like shared bank accounts. How else I'm not gonna explain 26.99.

SPEAKER_02 35:13

Well, what's funny is like the situation that you're in, your Reese is gonna be like, well, you're not allowed to vape either. So if you don't give me the vape tag, I'm throwing it away. I'm gonna tell mom you have a vape.

SPEAKER_03 35:24

Fuck it. I'll take I'll take her phone. I'll take her teleportation device. Whatever is out by then. That's so good.

SPEAKER_02 35:33

I'll tell everyone that you're going out with that one guy. I'll tell mom you're shopping at Zoomies again. Some had rumors about your dog. Zoomies.

SPEAKER_00 35:43

Just watching like a just a like a middle-aged like parents like fight while vaping. Why do your parents have been moving with us? Why can't they move with your older sister? She's a practitioner. It's fucking ridiculous.

SPEAKER_04 35:55

Your sister's a bitch. She went to vape.

SPEAKER_03 36:00

You know, like if you hold it and you get a deep voice when you talk about it.

SPEAKER_04 36:04

A bitch.

SPEAKER_02 36:05

I was talking about this with Peyton the other day. Uh we were on the car ride in Wyoming and like driving. I bought a vape before we did stand-up last week. I bought a vape. And uh I was I don't know why. I was like, I just fucking wanted the vape so bad. So I bought one before we went and did stand-up. Then I took it with me to Wyoming. So me and uh Peyton were just like ripping that shit the whole time of the car. I turned the AC off and I was like hitting ghosts and shit while I was driving. Peyton was like, How do you do that? And I was like, yo, you know who has a shit ghost? Dante. I was like, when we were in high school, me and Dante used to snapchat each other all the time of like ripping the jewel, like hitting ghost. Like Dante would like Dante figured out how to make his ghost like sit there and like spell something out and then suck it back in. We were just fucking bragging on our high school vape tricks.

SPEAKER_03 36:48

Dude, high school vaping was the best. It was the best. I remember we had uh we had a buddy who had a Toyota to come up and he had LED lights in it. And part of the night we would have on the weekends was uh we would turn off the AC and roll up the windows and blow vape smoke and the LED lights would and we listen to like nav. This was a good time, dude.

SPEAKER_02 37:11

LEDs like match the beat. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:14

It was fun, like blue, dark blue lights, vape smoke, nav. What a time, dude. Texting people if they knew where to get weed. No, nothing. We don't know.

SPEAKER_05 37:24

You know where you can get a geek bar for the low.

SPEAKER_03 37:27

Yeah, that was back when like vape mods were a thing. Yeah, like hitting this big, like beer can sized vape. Yeah, yeah. Well, we were taking those to school. Yeah, dude. I remember in the cafeteria that my button got stuck in my backpack, started smoking. And I somehow nobody ever noticed, but it my backpack smelled like shit forever. I had to throw it away. It was like you're at a rape for like burnt on my backpack. You remember changing coils in the vapes? Oh, yeah, dude. Do it a prime for a little bit. Yeah, go to Izzy. Go to Izzy's, get a coil, some juice. That fucking retard with the nose piercing would never idea. What a guy, though. He really hooked it up. He got me addicted to vaping. What a fucking nice guy. Fucking faggot, dude. That's so gay. You got a bunch of high schoolers addicted to vaping. What a guy. That was a snow. I hope Frank is happy. Yeah, I remember Frank. Yeah, you remember Frank.

SPEAKER_02 38:20

Man, I mean, you would do the same shit.

SPEAKER_03 38:22

He turned out to be gay after a while. He actually like turned out to be real gay. Like, actually gay. Was he like OJ gay? Yeah. He was trying to get you nickets. He was like a nose piercing that like connected to his ear piercing. It was crazy. Oh, he's one of those, bro. Wait, he had what? Connected? He had a nose piercing that had like a chain that connected to his ear piercing. So it was like a chain that went around the left side of his face.

SPEAKER_02 38:41

You think everybody was eaten subway and he accidentally bit his chain?

SPEAKER_03 38:46

Like that.

SPEAKER_02 38:46

There's something happening. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:49

Lettuce, tomato?

SPEAKER_02 38:50

Is it was it on both sides or just one?

SPEAKER_03 38:52

Just one.

SPEAKER_02 38:53

Oh, he was gay then, yeah. Everybody knows if you have an earring chain on one side, it's good.

SPEAKER_03 38:58

I don't know if that was like a vape style. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 39:00

Probably the same shit. Put an air tag on your vape. Where's my vape? What's going on, dude? Do you need to leave, Casey?

SPEAKER_03 39:09

No. I was getting text messages about the dog shit on the floor. It's good. It was a kind of text message. I think she wants you to come home and pick it up. I'm not picking up anything. The only thing I'm gonna pick up is water breaker and more beer. That's it.

SPEAKER_02 39:23

I'm not a fan of the guy. But like it's cool as fuck that like we ran into him and I was like, yo, I'm like one person away from this dude now. That's kind of fucking sick.

SPEAKER_03 39:31

It was a cool fucking experience. I feel I mean, I don't like his music, but I feel like Ed Sharon has to be like a cool guy.

SPEAKER_02 39:36

He is a cool guy. I watched a couple videos of him. You know? And nah, he was he was talking about how like uh there was like a video of him talking about how he's like, Yeah, I was trying to lose a lot of weight. I cut off 35 pounds just by just like cutting off beer. And Letty was like, Wow, really? Was it hard? He's like, No, not at all. I just replaced it with vodka.

SPEAKER_03 39:54

There we go. Alright, he lost me, he found me.

SPEAKER_02 39:57

But it was cool as fuck, though. It was like a dope ass experience.

SPEAKER_03 40:00

Yeah, that was very cool. That is also huge for her because that is it literally is just a click away. So that makes a bunch of things.

SPEAKER_02 40:06

Dude, yeah, like they're they're fucking leaked. But he was a he was a cool fucking dude. He was asking me about guns and shit, and he was like, Yeah, people ask, like, make stories and ask about like like London life, and like they think like this, that, and the other. And then, like, I was like, Yeah, I always wondered that too. And then he started asking me about guns. He's like, Are you guys like big on guns? And I was like, Yeah. And they're like, Really? And I was like, Yeah, if I was back home, like I don't go anywhere without a gun. I have a gun in my car at all times. I don't go, I don't go to work without a gun on me. And he was like, That's mad, isn't it?

SPEAKER_03 40:37

Speaking of, I've been battling with that, like watching like the crime on Twitter and stuff. I think like, uh maybe should keep my gun in my car. But I I drink so much that if I had a gun in my car, I think I'd have to go to prison. Uh I think it I'd with my luck I'd get pulled over drunk and also have a gun.

SPEAKER_02 40:56

The video? So I kind of can't. The video from Gillian Keeves, or uh, he's like trying to apply for the job or whatever, and it's like with Matt. Yeah, it's like he's like kills that kid. Shane Gillis, you get pulled over by the cops, and he waves his gun out the window. He's like, You guys are making a fucking huge deal out of this. Yeah. That's you at what a perker.

SPEAKER_03 41:16

It's soon to be. But I mean, uh getting getting pulled over drunk with a firearm is an automatic felony. Is it really? Yes. Like it's on you? Or like in concealer? Anywhere in your car if you're drunk. Like if you get proven to be drunk with a gun in your car, you're going to jail and you're getting a felony. Yeah, it fucking sucks. It's retarded. Dude, I'm a walking felon. That's what I'm saying. That's why I don't keep it in my car. I keep it in my pants.

SPEAKER_00 41:40

I told you you have prison face, bro. Driving around Upper Manhattan with a fucking gun. Is it lunacy, bro? No one's gonna run up on you.

SPEAKER_03 41:51

I'm I don't know. I bring the pole downtown, I'm not gonna lie. If I go downtown, I go to the pole. Uh and I I've never had the up it or anything like that. But uh thank God. Because it if I killed somebody, I don't think I'd ever sleep again. I mean, it'd be cool to like defend my family and this and that, but then also I'd like no matter how the bit like how bad the guy was, like, watching someone's life go like because of me. Well I could, I could, but I would just feel really bad. The police showed up. I'm too sympathetic.

SPEAKER_02 42:27

The police showed up because we were poor sideways.

SPEAKER_03 42:29

Yeah. This is not yeah. And then also after I killed somebody, they find out like I'm downtown drunk and I shot somebody. I'm done. Self-defense or not, if I was drunk and I'm going to be. If I'm downtown, I'm fucked up. Nah, self-defense is still self-defense. If I have a gun on me while I'm drunk and somebody tries to kill me and I shoot them, you're supposed to just let them kill me. I'm not supposed to have the gun on me.

SPEAKER_02 42:48

You think I'm gonna let you kill me, John? I don't know. You should try it.

SPEAKER_03 42:52

There might be a loophole there wherever maybe maybe I can drive drunk with a gun on my car if I give somebody like road rage and have them flip.

SPEAKER_02 43:01

So how does that work if like you're a woman and you're hammered as fuck, but you also have a license to carry and 12 guys pull up on you trying to like DUI and a weapon that you can have.

SPEAKER_03 43:11

But this is what you're done.

SPEAKER_02 43:13

But you definitely is definitely a loophole because self-defense is self-defense. If you're a woman and you got like pulled up on, you're hammered, you're leaving the bar or something, and like guys pull up on you and they try to like assault you and take advantage of you, but you defend yourself, they go, Wait, but were you drunk when you defended yourself?

SPEAKER_03 43:28

You'll you'll get like house arrest or something. No, think so, bro. Because you cannot have you cannot be in possession of a gun while you're intoxicated. I get that. But DUI is one thing. But self defense is not a good thing. If we're looking at the law, there's laws within the laws. If I fucking like if if it's a clear self defense case, it's still gonna be investigated and still gonna go to court. Like I'm not sure. That's what I'm saying. So I'm saying like if if I kill somebody. Killed somebody and I'm acting drunk, they're probably just gonna assume it's like adrenaline or like something crazy.

SPEAKER_02 44:04

Casey's right. Yeah. No fucking way. In most jurisdictions, it is illegal to carry out or be in physical possession of a firearm while intoxicated. But I'm talking about like if you were to like this scenario of like I don't think there's a look that up.

SPEAKER_03 44:20

I think that everything will be immediately left. I'm gonna pull up the bigger. Like if you're getting like majorly assault, like okay, still against the if if I'm intoxicated and kill somebody due to self-defense, will I get in trouble because I'm intoxicated?

SPEAKER_00 44:37

Do you have enough tabs open in fucking chat GPT, right?

SPEAKER_03 44:46

If if you get in an accident that's not your fault at all and you're hammered, you're still gonna get a fucking DUI and go to jail. But insurance will still cover you.

SPEAKER_02 44:55

You can still claim self-defense, even if you're intoxicated, ChatGPT says.

SPEAKER_03 45:08

It's not impossible. You might get like probation or something like that, but you're not that's bullshit.

SPEAKER_02 45:15

It is bullshit, but also that's bullshit. There's gotta be a way you can buy it.

SPEAKER_03 45:19

But think about how many drunk people throwing a gun on them and cause a problem, and somebody tries to whoop their ass and then they shoot them. No, that's a good thing. There's too many different point like every law, there's so many different ways to do it. There's a lot of variables. I mean, I've I've thought about this. It's yeah, I mean, you have a good point. You have a good point. Dude, I'm not gonna I get drunk, I have a gun. Whatever. Whatever, who cares? I don't have it on me today, but I think I'm in the dirty pee, I don't need it because I'm known around here.

SPEAKER_02 45:49

Like let's say let's say, like Alex situation, like it's like some intoxicated chick and some guys at the bar being some dicks and try to make a move on her, and she goes back to her car and that's where she has the gun. Yeah. And they follow her to her car, and that's whenever she has to, you know, defend herself.

SPEAKER_03 46:08

Well, then there's an argument of the car wasn't started, maybe she didn't plan on driving home, maybe she planned on leaving her, and that's the lawyer's job. That's when the lawyers come in. But it still is illegal, and there's a bunch of different like I said, there's a million different ways to look at it, a million different loopholes. That's when the lawyer comes in and says, This is the story, you say this, or else you're gonna fucking.

SPEAKER_02 46:27

See, this is why we just need to have our guns taken away. Like, this is why not.

SPEAKER_03 46:31

They just let the woman get raped, like fuck it.

SPEAKER_02 46:33

Yeah, bro, fuck it. Definitely don't let that lady. Especially if they're drunk. That's fucked, bro.

SPEAKER_03 46:39

Oh man.

SPEAKER_02 46:39

We bring out katanas. I mean, pepper spray might probably could do something, but like pepper spray don't do shit. If someone really wanted to do it, let me pepper spray you real quick. I got pepper spray. I got a heart on, I'm in the middle of something, bro. You pepper spray me, I'm getting my nut before I get a fucking tissue, dog. I promise you that.

SPEAKER_03 46:59

Pepper spray is full, bro. That shit.

SPEAKER_02 47:02

I've got to be able to keep the blaming on it.

SPEAKER_03 47:04

I mean, think about like spicy food. Like, some foods can be way too spicy. Imagine getting it all just in your eye, and it's like way, way, way too spicy. It's it's crazy. That's when I got my gun and I can't. And also, like, bitches are bear macing people now, not just regular, but also regularly carrying bear mace. But think about that.

SPEAKER_02 47:21

Let's say think about a situation where like a woman's like running into a car, like trying to get away from someone. Yeah. And she doesn't have time to like get the pepper spray out. Maybe she could like barely spray a little bit of it, but they already got a hold of her. But the blamie, nigga, you pull out the blamie, you already got that bitch cocked.

SPEAKER_03 47:38

Well, that's a mistake a lot of people don't make with common like gun safety now. They're saying don't do that. Always, every time I have my shit, even at the house, like in the thing, or in the chamber in my pants or always one in the chamber. Why is one in the chamber? Yeah, I'm gonna go. Because I'm not trying to cock my shit like this. I'm trying to buy it like this.

SPEAKER_02 47:56

Yeah, but discharges are a thing. You get into a G3C. I got the most reliable contact. If you're downtown, some guy has a fucking knife or something, he's in your face already, boom. You gotta be able to, if you have it on you, you gotta be able to pull that bitch up and shoot right away. I'll go, I'll go. Like, if someone's from this distance with a knife and you have to draw and cock, like that can cost you your life. Yeah, because it's gonna be. Because all it takes is one to the neck, yeah, somewhere, and you're gonna bleed out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 48:26

You gotta be able to- You might eventually shoot him and kill him, but then you're also gonna die. The police keep one in the chamber. I'm going to keep one in the chamber. That's 100%. Whatever they do, I'm gonna do. I'm gonna keep one in the chamber because I'm scared.

SPEAKER_02 48:37

No safety. I'm gonna be asleep. No safety. I feel like I'm gonna be asleep one day. I have a Springfield XD 350. Does that have a safety on it? Nah.

SPEAKER_03 48:44

Then you should not keep one in the chamber. If you if you don't have a safety, you should not keep it. At your home, if you're carrying it on you, I don't know. It has a grip safety on it. Look, going somewhere where you think you're gonna need it.

SPEAKER_02 48:53

It has a grip, it has a grip safety. Okay. Look, even at home, it's a trigger safety too, doesn't it? Not mine doesn't have a trigger, trigger safety. Even I know this is room as a trigger. We're like active self-protection out here, but even if you're at home, like you should probably still keep one in the chamber. I keep one in the chamber at all times. Why? Because if you're in the middle of the night and someone does break in, you gotta go get the shit. Someone's gonna hear that. Yeah, that's they're gonna run their ass back out the house, too. Yes. No, I'm not trying to have anybody running. Let's say no, someone doesn't care and they just run in. You know what I mean? Yeah. You don't want them to you want the surprise effect because you know your house. But you hear a 12-gauge cock dog. That's a fucking that's the warning shot. For sure. That is the but let's say someone thinks otherwise, and like it's not like you have like some mansion, like it's not a huge place. Like, let's say someone busts in, breaks that glass, runs in, you wake up, dazed. What the fuck's going on? You just heard you probably barely heard it. That happens a lot. It probably woke you up, and you probably don't know. You probably don't know what woke you up. You just hear something like running towards your fucking door. Yeah. You're like, what the fuck is that? That's fair. You want to be able to grab that shit, not let them know you're there. I just did. Like, my my honest, honestly, like the only reason why I don't keep anything in the chamber is because like I'm scared, like I'll be asleep one day, and like that shit'll just pop off. No, well, you need to keep you need a holster, yeah, and you can put it away, but also you need to don't put it at yourself while you're sleeping. Well, I usually go to sleep with it in my mouth. That's the thing. Um, that's that's a little tougher. Well, I don't have a beaky anymore, so I just think my skin killed.

SPEAKER_00 50:29

I'm not gonna put it in a zin while asleep. If something's stuck on, yeah, you can swallow a zinc. You can't swallow a pistol. Believe me, I've tried.

SPEAKER_02 50:41

No, you see. Honestly, y'all's self-defense strategies are all fucking wrong. All right. Let's hear it. Let's hear it.

SPEAKER_00 50:50

Around the bed, Claymores. All right.

SPEAKER_02 50:53

There we go. There we go.

SPEAKER_03 50:55

Yeah. Tripwire. Why the fuck? Could you imagine like rigging up some explosives before bed and like forgetting to undetonate them before you leave for work? And just like you're like, bruh, just I don't want to go to work. I don't want to get up. And you tell yourself, like, nah, like you took off a day last week, you need to get up, like you need a good check. You go walk out your front door and fucking explode.

SPEAKER_02 51:14

Or you know, whereas like it's like a five minute, like, it takes five minutes to rig these explosives before I go to sleep. Yeah. And then I set them all up and I go, I done lock the fucking door. You gotta fucking take it all back down. Fuck that. Let them plug in and explode.

SPEAKER_00 51:30

Someone, like, for sure, they they go, they go to like grab their shotgun and they're like, they still have like a boner. God damn, go down. Go down. It's like one of those ones that won't go away until you pee. I don't have time for this right now. Like, they're doing that shit where you have to like the boner's so aggressive, you have to like front lean, sort of.

SPEAKER_03 51:55

Yeah, yeah, the mahogany wood on the shotgun and teak wood on your dick. It's beautiful, dude. Morning wood. Also, morning wood goes away. Every old guy tells me, like, enjoy morning wood while you can. It's like, what do you mean enjoy a boner for no reason while I wake up while I can? What are you talking about? But then also, like, it's just kind of like a sign, like, oh yeah, my shit's still good. It's like checking the dipstick on the oil in your car.

SPEAKER_01 52:22

Engine's still running, baby. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Alright, that's time. That's time.

SPEAKER_02 52:27

Okay. I actually. Alright, so on the subject uh on the coattails of uh of Ed Sheeran. I I I never met Ed Sheeran. I've never been in a room with Ed Sheeran, but I did have an interesting story.

SPEAKER_00 52:40

When I was in when I was in college, uh just being a 20-year-old shithead working in Austin, Texas, at a at a barbecue restaurant where I waited tables and bartended. Uh a little backstory about this place. So if you were there was no bartender in the morning shift, which went from like 11 a.m.

SPEAKER_02 53:03

to 4 p.m. There's no bartender. So all the waiters make the drinks for their tables. So you just have free reign over the fucking liquor. Oh yeah. This place kept no tabs, and we didn't have to mark any bottles or anything like that.

SPEAKER_00 53:17

We didn't have to there was no like tracking the pores of any kind.

SPEAKER_02 53:23

And everyone on the staff like worked uh was they were either at UT or at Texas State. That's who's running the fucking bars is anymore.

SPEAKER_00 53:34

Yeah, dude. And uh, and I remember uh I worked a double and going to the evening, and I was like, fuck it, you know what?

SPEAKER_02 53:42

I'll close. I gotta make some more money.

SPEAKER_00 53:44

And uh the last table of the night, and I hear I'm starting to hear like whispers. I'm like, oh shit, you see you see Huey's last table, like, oh who's his last table? And I was like, whatever. Like, who who is it? Like, because it's Austin Westlake.

SPEAKER_02 53:58

Like, I I know whoever it's gonna be, it's gonna be like a well-to-do family. Like, I'm not worried. I don't think the whole time I work there, no matter how dog shit of service I gave, just being hung over, like driving up to Westlake from from St. Marcus on like three hours of sleep and shit. No matter what dog shit service I gave, always 25% tip. Beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 54:19

No one ever fights no no split no split checks. Like nothing. Like it was honestly pretty cake job. Uh and uh they're like whispering about a table or whatever, and I'm like, dude, he's got he's got Alex Jones. And this is 2016, 2017.

SPEAKER_02 54:38

I really don't know who the fuck Alex Jones is. Like I've maybe I'd probably heard sound bites of him, but I didn't associate that with Alex Jones. Yeah. And I I I I wait on uh he's with his family.

SPEAKER_00 54:50

It's at like 9 o'clock at night, 9 30 on like a Thursday.

SPEAKER_02 54:55

And uh and they get like a it's a barbecue restaurant, so they have like the platters and whatnot. Like right off the bat, which that's money. Like if they just get the platter, you don't have to take everyone's individual order, whatever, you just bring the fucking plates out and you bring all the shit out. And uh they got like the I don't remember what their fucking order was, but it was just a whole bunch of shit. It was like the most expensive platter that they have there. Yeah. Uh and you really just gotta just all you gotta do is just grab any bar drinks or like refill the drinks. It's awesome. And uh immediately go to the table.

SPEAKER_00 55:28

Whenever he orders, I'm like, holy shit, this is a radio voice. Like he really sounds like that. He just walks around with that fucking voice. What's your special of the night? Yeah, and super nice though. Like, super nice. Say please for everything. Yeah. Uh Southern gentleman. Tip 50%.

SPEAKER_03 55:49

What a fella, dude. How are people talking shit about this guy?

SPEAKER_02 55:53

Like, very, very personal, very nice guy. Uh very red in the face. Yeah, dude. High blood pressure. What would you look like if you saw what the elites were doing? Extremely red in the face.

SPEAKER_00 56:08

Like Gage's dad cannot hold a candle. Oh wow. How fucking red this man's face is. Oh wow.

SPEAKER_02 56:14

But I don't know like if he how many kids he has or whatever, but it was like him, his wife, and like four other people. Maybe like one of his kids' friends or something like that. I don't know. I don't know how many kids he has. But he's like a very, very nice guy.

SPEAKER_00 56:30

Like, whether all things aside, like how that is like a a big red or green flag of just how people just treat like white staff in general.

unknown 56:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 56:40

Yeah. Absolutely. Like, if if you've worked in any kind of customer service and you could be on a date with just the baddest chick, and she's like rude to white staff. Yeah, that's you're you're going a little soft.

SPEAKER_02 56:54

Yeah. You're going like I didn't like that at all.

SPEAKER_03 56:57

Still fucking though.

SPEAKER_02 56:58

Yeah. You're still listening. You're a prisoner. You're a prisoner to your own meat. But he like spew any conspiracy shit on you?

SPEAKER_01 57:07

No, literally nothing. I'll take a diet, Dr. Pepper. Also, do you know about the Jews?

SPEAKER_03 57:12

Well, didn't have no fucking diet, Dr. Pepper. I promise you that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 57:15

Can you explain to me what comes on this barbecue platter? Slow slow. I'm a little I'm a bit of a retard.

SPEAKER_03 57:21

He was drinking the top shelf of a fucking barbecue restaurant. For sure. Oh, well 100%. He did get a drink. I want to say whiskey.

SPEAKER_02 57:30

Yeah. For sure. What do you order? He got whiskey. Um we weren't like that like high quality or whatever. Like we didn't have like some like whistle pig or some shit. Some buffalo trace. It probably was like buffalo trace or something like that. Or like makers. Or you know, like we didn't have a super Jack Dan's.

SPEAKER_03 57:48

Was it on the rocks? Just neat. Neat. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 57:53

No, I think it was on the rocks. Yeah. I think it was on the rocks. Like, no, it don't make sense.

SPEAKER_03 57:57

That's a good whiskey, man. Yeah. You let it water down for five minutes and you sip on it. It's a guy who's had enough whiskey to argue with his wife about drinking whiskey. That's that's exactly where it was. I promise you.

SPEAKER_02 58:08

He's doing his whole bit when he comes back to this the table, too.

SPEAKER_01 58:10

I'm taking a look at your kids. They look a little retarded. Frogs are gay.

SPEAKER_03 58:16

Frogs are gay, barbecue straight.

SPEAKER_00 58:19

Well, we did have this platter called Dino Ribs. It was just it was just the beef ribs, and it came out on like a massive plate and has just like a giant knife stuck in it. Tell me about this. Dino ribs. Fucking dinosaurs are fighting. Everything they told you. The turn of the dinosaurs gay.

SPEAKER_02 58:37

I remember working at that restaurant and uh there was like a for whatever fucking reason, there was a there was like a vegan girl who worked there. What the fuck?

SPEAKER_03 58:46

I'm like, what all the people degraded everybody else with their wood just crying all over the place? Like, what is she doing?

unknown 58:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 58:53

Can I get the pork ribs? Wow, really? Are you serious? Even people I worked with who shared her political views were like, Why like why is this silly bitch here?

SPEAKER_00 59:02

Like you're you're carrying a tray of like literally half the side of a fucking cow, and there's like like a basically a fucking machete driven in like like Excalibur.

SPEAKER_03 59:13

She's like, type of person that like only listens to like sad music. Yeah, just like wants to be sad. She's weeping every time she passes out the deck. Was she a goth Mexican by chance?

SPEAKER_00 59:24

She was not a goth Mexican. That's a white girl. Was she blonde? She was a the goth white girl. It was a white girl, yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 59:29

Yeah, goth girls. She's probably hot as fuck, too, dude. If I had to guess, huh? She was she was cute.

SPEAKER_00 59:35

She was cute.

SPEAKER_02 59:35

I remember her being cute, but it's just like by Huey's standards of cute, she's probably the hottest bitch in Austin at the time. She was like, uh, but yeah, that's insane. Like, why I mean, even like she could turn it and she's like, listen, the tips here are pretty good, though.

SPEAKER_00 59:50

Like, yeah. No one ever fights over the bill.

SPEAKER_03 59:54

Fuck it. That was like money's money. Yeah, it sells out.

SPEAKER_00 59:58

That that that restaurant was interesting because like most restaurants like don't operate on just being a really good restaurant, they operate on like having good systems in place.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:06

Uh, because everything's just margins. Whereas like they had no systems in place. That place was like literally falling apart. So like the food's good as fuck. People are gonna come.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:14

The food was good and the real estate was insane. Like they they and also the servers were in charge of the liquor.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:20

How's that place to live? You're putting your back into every portion. There's just no way the place is. Yeah, yeah, it's the real yeah. Bro, if the servers are in charge of the liquor, that place is has to go under.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:28

County line barbecue. But no, it was just the fact that the barbecue was fire. The barbecue is tremendously fire, and uh the the land in the building that got in like 1969 or something like that, and it like overlooks like all of Austin.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:43

It has a patio that like literally overlooks all of Austin.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:46

People that are dining in Austin, it's very important to them that they like overlook something while they eat. Yeah, important uh like uh the Oasis restaurant overlooking Lake Austin or Lake Travis or whatever the fuck you call it. They would they want to overlook something while they eat. If they're spending that much money, they need to be looking down on something.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:06

They need the open air so they can fart and smell it still.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:10

That too, yeah. The boys in Austin got nasty farts. Bunch of cattlemen.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:13

Yeah, a bunch of cum.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:14

Bunch of cattlemen and calculus. Yeah, yeah, no.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:17

For Austin, it was like there's like the parking was like phenomenal. Like it was literally just location and the fact that they like the restaurant in Austin with their own parking is crazy.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:30

That's yeah, like you want to eat there.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:32

Yeah, it's definitely popping.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:34

For sure.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:34

Bro, Casey.

unknown 1:01:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:36

Can you please tell me about your experience with your family at this junction? Tell us about your broken family, please.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:42

Uh I went to I went to my youngest baby's not baby, my younger sister's baby shower. So I've had a couple beers, I'm sorry. Uh there were four or five different family feuds going on there. Uh what was that? What was this hand gesture you guys are doing?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:58

He's like, I've had a few beers. You're like, it's a little bit of towel. Yeah, the podcast isn't done until we get to the show. He's fucking playing Lincoln Logs with his course light.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:08

I had a couple beers at dinner before this. Um talking about my fucking fat ass bitch sister, whatever. Nice. Um, not the one I'm talking about, not the one that had the baby shower this past weekend. But there's like four or five different family feuds going on. There's uh my mom and her ex-husband, which is my stepdad. And then my mom's husband is there, so there's two feuds between just three people. Me and my middle sister hate each other. There's that. Um my stepdad brought his girlfriend. Uh, my little sister's family hates my family, and my stepdad's family hates my mom's family. It's everybody there hated each other. But everybody just kind of got like drunk as fuck. And we're like lightly talking shit about each other. Somebody needs to put her in her place. I heard that a couple times. Um uh my grandmother, my step-grandmother, I guess you'd call my stepdad's mom. She said that my this so this is where it gets crazy. My stepgrandmother said that my ex-stepdad's girlfriend, and this this lady that said this is almost 80 years old. She said it looked like she was ridden hard and hung up wet. Uh, I looked at her and said, What did he say? And she said it again, and I said, Wow, ridden hard and hung up wet. Yeah, so this is my my mom's ex-husband's girlfriend. My mom's new husband's mom said this about her that she was she looked like she had been ridden hard and hung up wet. And then one of my mom's friends over there, referring to the same lady, said, I follow her on Facebook, she wears the same outfit all the time. What's wrong with this bitch? Like a Meg Griffin. She she called her a bitch and said, I have to leave. I've got to go. And I said, Alright, see you later. And then obviously, I mean, I'm drinking, I'm having a good time, so I make amends with everybody that I have a problem with there. I'm like their best friend. And then I uh I go home and I hate them again. But while I'm there, I had a good time and I love them so much. But I once I get home, I hate them again. But yeah, it was just it was weird. It was a bunch of people that hated each other celebrating a baby shower, and then everybody's just talking shit about everybody. It was it was very weird. At least it was drinks. I was talking to my uh my step-grandpa. The second, the first one? Yeah. Uh I've got so many steps. Thanks, Mom.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:42

He's like he's like got a family equipment small.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:44

Yeah, three-story house. There's too many steps.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:47

Was there anyone there who's like uh like someone close to their age of like that's my aunt?

SPEAKER_03 1:04:53

No, this is my aunt, but she's like, But I was I was talking to my ex-stepdad's dad, so my ex-step-grandpa, whatever the fuck you want to call it. He was telling me he's 75 years old, but he's in really good shape, and he's like in the dating scene still, and he's telling me, like, all these ladies I date are like falling apart in front of me. And uh he was saying, uh, this one lady he went on a date with was like in charge of like a law firm or something like that, but she had these panic attacks where I think she like thought she was dying. And they went to a restaurant together, and then he made a point to mention that she ordered $50 scallops, and he like said that it was crazy. He said that was crazy. He was like, That's $50 scallop. I was laughing, and then he was like, Yeah, and the food comes and she has one of these panic attacks, and her face turned red, and she's just like staring at the food and not eating. And the waiter came by and was like, Hey, is there something wrong with the food? And he was like, I was like, No, no, no, everything's fine. She's not allowed to eat until I'm done eating. What the fuck? The waiter left, and then he was like, Yeah, she was still like panicked and crazy. I had to carry her out of there. It looked like she was. Fucking hammered.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:01

So yeah, you had to he had to carry her out of there? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:03

And then he was there was uh on the other side of the family. My sister's boyfriend's grandma was there, and she's a very frail old lady with like these like glasses that are like as thick as Coke bottles, and she was standing in front of us at one point where we're just like bullshitting. I hadn't seen them in years. We just talk, we talked for like two hours, and eventually this old lady stands in front of us. She's gotta be like 80, 85, 90, like up there. She looks fucking insane. And uh I ignore it. I'm like, oh, this poor lady, like, I'm not gonna look at her because it's kind of funny. And then we're talking, and he looks at her and he just like starts laughing in her face. And it was very funny. That's that I hope you guys meet him one day. Grandpa Troy is the funniest guy of all time. Being on the dating scene and being 75, yeah, and he's like dating girls that are like going through chemo, and he's like, Yeah, they're just like falling apart, and so they treat me like it's my fault, it's not my fault. I'm like, Alright, brother. There used to be he used to have this girlfriend called Gigi, and she was literally like a fucking blind dog. She couldn't see. But he would like take care of, he's very nice. He would like meet a girl, she'd fall apart, he'd take care of her for the rest of her life. Every girl falls apart. Bro, he's dating. Well, that's what's nice about him is he's dating in his age pool. Like, he's not dating 30-year-old women, he's dating women his age, and he just happens to be in good shape. This one that for all of my childhood he was dating this lady named Gigi, and she eventually went blind. And he would just like make these jokes all the time. He'd be like, Gigi would be nowhere to be found. He'd be like, Hey, where's Gigi? I'm like 12 years old. It's like, oh, yeah, we're playing hide and seek. I put her in the closet, she's she's looking to be found. And like eventually, this lady died under the care of him. He has like a disability. He's like a disability.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:55

This guy's like a disability king. He's like, uh, I think on chemo?

SPEAKER_03 1:07:58

Yes. But also, he's literally the funniest motherfucker in the entire world. Like, he's and he has a laugh that like every time he laughs, it makes you just crack up. Like Devin's laugh. More.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:11

He's like, he's like looking up med charts to see, like, oh, this bitch got Alzheimer's. No, I'm not fun with this. She's gonna forget how bad my dick is.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:20

Everybody. I remember there was one, he told me the same day at the baby shower. He told me, like, yeah, this one lady I was dating had a 12-year-old kid, and she was like wanting to get married, and then he like tapped my shoulder and he's like, I'm gonna marry someone with a fucking 12-year-old. 75 with a girlfriend with a 12-year-old. Maybe you're not dating in your age pool. Like, I don't know. And then yeah, he kind of went away. And he's got some his girlfriend now is like a fat 40-year-old lady, very obese. 40. Hey, bro, he's not dating inside of his pool then. Yeah, he's he's a little he's taking care of old ladies and dating. I don't know. Enough about this guy. Bro, it's funny. This deal is like, you he's a phenomenal person. Like he's retired and just works on like old hot rods. What's hard and takes cares? He takes cares, uh, takes care of old ladies that are like dying. He looks fixed rubbers. He's the funniest guy of all time. He's real big into restoration. You talk to him, he's he's the funniest guy. That's so funny.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:26

You said even like the girls that he's dating that's not inside of his age pool happen to have like a disability. He said his current girlfriend's fat as fuck, probably doesn't have much time left.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:35

There you go. He solved the puzzle.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:39

He does have a disability kink.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:40

Yeah, I think he just wants to be needed.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:42

On his Tinder profile, it says much must not have much time left.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:46

I don't think he's on Tinder, I think he's on frail. Oh, he's on holy frail.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:54

Whatever he's going on.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:56

I'm not gonna lie, he's he's bagging. He's he's getting hoes for sure. But I don't I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:01

He's shopping on on holy frail.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:03

Yeah, the legalities of it I don't care to know. But funny guy. If you guys ever get to meet him, um bro, your family like it's a real treat.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:11

My situation is so funny. It's so funny. I can't wait to get away from those motherfuckers.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:16

Everything's away, except for my mom. I love my mom, but everybody else can honestly kiss my ass. They all see that. Yeah, your mom was the cool mom, bro. I used to do it. My mom is probably like my second best friend. Really? Yeah, who's your first? We're not gonna talk about that here. Alright, sorry. That's probably you.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:33

I just want to I just want to hear it here.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:36

But yeah, my mom's coolest house. She's always done a drink with me, dude. It's awesome.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:40

I remember like being 17 years old and like drinking at your house.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:46

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:47

It was the shit, dude.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:48

Yeah, my mom was drunk and lonely and looking for people to hang out with. So me and my friends was good enough. I remember that too.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:57

Whenever we went to uh the the Green Day uh Fallout Boy Weezer concert, yeah. Mom like bought me like a few drinks, bro. They did a weezer too. Yeah, weezer was there, yeah. They just kept changing shirts. Oh no, this was the real concert. This is the real concern. Yeah, this is the real concert. We went and saw Green Day, Weezer, and Fallout Boy at midnight.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:19

I literally thought this was the cover band doing all the fucking Weezer cover band. I go downtown and like bar hop with my mom. That's cool as a dude. The young moms are the best. She's an awesome person. Young moms are the best. I'm not I'm not sucking my mom's dick here. But the but she's an awesome lady.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:36

Talking about so because like your mom always like supports us on like like Instagram and always likes the shit. The other day, uh the video of you talking about uh eating a girl out on a period, and that's the penalty box. Oh gosh, does she like that video? I don't know, she probably did too. I'm not worried about that one, but like Peyton's grandma liked that real.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:52

Oh dude, she's she's baby something like it. She's like some of our most out-of-pocket clips, dude. I don't know what the fuck's going on.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:58

The other day they came and picked us up from the airport and coming back home from Wyoming, and Peyton's grandpa's in the fucking front seat talking about, well, how like you're on YouTube now. And I'm like, am I? And he's like, Yeah, you're you're on YouTube now. I was up in the morning, six o'clock in the morning. There your videos started playing on YouTube.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:16

I watched the whole thing, and I was like, oh I was like, I was like, stop watching that shit. I was like, you gotta stop watching that shit. Thank God we cover we cut from an early episode.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:25

Because uh thinking back on that, that's one of the funniest, funniest topics we've we've hit on. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:34

They've liked some of like he her grandma is like some of our most out-of-pocket shit.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:38

Yeah, I know, bro.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:40

I know, yeah. When Peyton's mom followed me on Instagram, I was like, oh no, she's seen the podcast, it's not good.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:46

Well, it's it's it's like I know, like, supposedly like Gage and Peyton both told her, like, hey, don't watch their stuff. Like, they talk about way different humor stuff that's like not, you've never heard them speak like that. She's like, Well, I don't watch it, I just turn the volume down, I like it just to support it. And I'm like, Yeah, fuck it. Right. She's definitely listening to that shit.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:08

Two vibrators deep, listening to room 10 beers.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:10

I just imagine walking in on your grandma and she's like on Instagram talking about listening to some guy talking about eating a girl out on her period.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:17

Imagine like an old couple, like, ah, I'm trying to see, boys.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:21

She's like, it's room 10 beers. Turn it down. Actually, I have to like make eye contact with her, and I'm like, fuck, dude, she's heard someone's grandma saying something about room 10 beers would be a killer intro. Oh, it would be so sick, dude.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:36

You heard the new room 10 beers?

SPEAKER_02 1:13:39

I feel like that we get Ma to do it. Oh, we can get her. I'm like that or like Reese. Yeah, it'd be kind of funny. On some South Park shit, the little little girl.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:50

What's the most what's the craziest thing we can get her to say? Uh she said crazier things than whatever you're thinking for sure. So she repeats.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:59

Let's get Reese to talk about the Israel-Palestine conflict right now, what's going on.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:03

Dude, I uh so the other day me and Reese were playing Pretend, and I was being a wizard, and she was being the Grinch, and we were fighting. And then uh she was like, I want to watch a wizard movie. So I Googled Wizard movie. Like Harry Potter? No, I Googled Wizard movie cartoon, and this movie came up just called Wizards on Amazon Prime. And so we're like getting ready for like laid down in bed. I'm like, alright, watch this, I'll watch it with you. We're gonna go to sleep after this. Dude, the fucking fairies had their tits out, there was Nazi flags, the whole bad wizard army was rotoscoping of the Nazi army. Yeah, don't tell anybody. Yeah, but like she doesn't know. So, like, I was like, this is all going overhead. It's like uh when when my youngest sister was a kid, they my parents, I remember specifically, they watched the hangover with her in the room and just made her face the couch. It was crazy. I was like, Why is she lost? She was right after jackass forever. And uh they made her face the couch. So I'm thinking, like, she doesn't know what a Nazi flag is, she doesn't know what these fairy tits are. Like, they weren't like like it wasn't like bare nipples, it was like a hella cleavage, and I was like, this is weird. But I watched the whole thing, and it ended up being like an anti-fascism, like adult movie. I was like, what the fuck is going on? I looked over, Rhys was awake the whole time. It's like actual like footage of like Nazi Germany like marching and like chanting. You got quite spells and like tits and like all this stuff.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:39

I'm like, this is gonna be like a canon event for her. Like this movie's gonna be like an eighth of her personality.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:44

There was uh there was a red wizard in the movie, and the next day my mom is watching Reese. And the whole time we were playing, I kept telling her I was a wizard, and she kept saying, Lizard? Lizard, I'd be like, no, wizard, and she's like, What do you mean, lizard? I was like, No. And then the next day, my mom texts me and it's like Reese's trying to watch some movie with the red wizards fighting. Like, what is this? And I was like, Oh, don't water like Star Wars. It's a crazy movie. Like, it's you let Reese watch this? Yeah, it was crazy. I I was well, I honestly like I was so intrigued that I was I watched the whole thing. I didn't know. Yeah, yeah, I thought she's definitely asleep by now. Wizards with Nazis. Like, I'm gonna watch this, obviously. It turned out to be a phenomenal, phenomenal movie. For research purposes, who was it was it was really good, and it was anti-Nazi. I'll say that now. It wasn't pro-Nazi. Don't fucking kill me. Um, please, please, please. Uh everyone knows the fairies are pro-Israel. They Zionist fairies. Yeah, it was an anti-fascist movie. Back then Nazis were fascists, and now fascists are Nazis. I mean, that's a whole fucking circle. But yeah, it was crazy to watch that. Uh it's from 1977. Warner Brothers produced and cut the guy's budget so he resorted to rotoscoping Nazi armies into his film instead of animating uh wizards and fairies fighting. So uh I don't know. I don't know. Whatever it was cool, but then also like I I really am hoping that like that doesn't stick in Reese's head. Like I'm hoping about it the next day. When she gets like seventh grade history and sees like a Nazi flag, it's not like some kind of like flashback. She's gonna have like some that's so ravens. That's good. That's okay, dad showed me this. Like, raise her hand.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:37

Like, I think you guys got it all wrong. I was like the the the met No, that's not how the US didn't the the fairies came in, the wizards.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:45

Did you know what the guys were doing that he was trying to get rid of? Who? Yeah, I know you're talking about. I think I know who you're talking about. Yeah, I was talking about from his perspective perspective. Oh yeah, and uh history class.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:59

Those are actually bad guys. I'm some little wizard myself. He starts drawing fucking the symbol and her over papers. Dude, instead of the S, it's just the straight swastika every S.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:10

She's like, I like magic. I Voldemort was a Nazi.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:20

I'm a wizard. I'm I'm Harry Potter with that stick. What's happening with that? Three minutes. Harry Potter with that stick boy.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:35

Imagine if Harry Potter said a lightning bolt that was a Nazi symbol. The movie would be so different. Like you can't like the movie would have to be political, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:18:46

That's to be what?

SPEAKER_03 1:18:47

Political?

SPEAKER_02 1:18:48

Everybody. Yeah, Harry Potter has like the Nazi. Harry Potter is political.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:51

It'd be such a different movie, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:18:53

Harry Potter's political. Harry Potter's political, you think? Definitely. Definitely Harry Potter's political. He comes from a poor family. He's the chosen hero and he comes from the poor family. The people who are surrounding friends are also poor families. They always become the heroes.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:10

It kind of just sounds like a biopic of Stephon Diggs. To be honest. That's every NFL wide receiver.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:17

The boy who lived, the boy in striped pajamas.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:19

The boy in striped pajamas, dude.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:23

Gosh, bro. I fucking try to have sex with that movie. It's not fun.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:27

That's not bad, though.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:28

It's not the worst nut you'll ever have.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:30

Well, it's not fun because they get mad at you for coming so fast.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:34

Yeah. I mean, the kid tried to tell you that don't come over here. I'm telling you, it's a bat over here.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:41

Alright, uh, we're gonna go do comedy tonight. We're gonna go do another set. Let's fucking what's bomb hard as shit. Let's go bomb. Let's go bomb, brother. Let's go bomb. Katie coming? You're gonna think our uh we work for Raytheo.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:54

Fuck it, dude. Let's go. Let's go, dude. Let's go fuck it, let's go! I have nothing prepared. I'll go bomb. I'm gonna piss my pants on stage. What time do you guys plan on doing back home, by the way?

SPEAKER_02 1:20:03

Do I?

SPEAKER_03 1:20:04

What time do you guys usually get back home?

SPEAKER_02 1:20:06

Like one?

SPEAKER_03 1:20:07

Jesus Christ. Alright, that's fine. Alright. Fuck it. Keep it kosher.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:10

You see that fucking tower? Never kill yourself.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:11

Hey, wait, wait, wait.