The Empowerment Trap

The empowerment movement came from somewhere real. But somewhere between the Spice Girls and the slogan T-shirts, something shifted. In this episode of Cup of V, Victoria Katheryn explores the hidden message underneath the girl power movement, and asks whether we're truly empowering our girls, or fast-tracking them into a world that still hasn't changed. From the weight inside the slogan, to the mental health cost that gets lost in the celebration, to the collusion course ahead, and the simple radical question: why can't girls just play? 

Transcript

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Hits are a children's clothing store with two rows. On one side the girl's side, colour matched, and full of clothing with impermanent slogans. On the other side is the boys' clothing, full of gendered clothing with a lot of dinosaurs. Each row deciding before a child can even walk, what kind of future is available to them. By the time they see what's underneath, it's too late. Welcome to Cup of E. Pour yourself something good. This one's for you. So the empowerment movement came from a good place. A generation that fought our way through to girl power, through to creating language that embodied a new way of women commanding presence in the world. Phrases like you can do this, you've got this, to be happy. These messages have now been translated into empowering a future generation of girls with confidence and language previous generations didn't have. And look, the Spice Girls weren't wrong. Girl power was a movement. It just didn't come with a manual for what happened next. But something has shifted. The empowerment slogan is everywhere now. On the t-shirts, the lunchboxes, the water bottles, the tote bags. Honestly, if it has a surface, someone has put you've got this on there. And we have to ask ourselves: are we empowering our girls with these messages? Or are we fast-tracking them to a set of expectations they never asked for? You can do anything, sounds empowering. Until you realise the hidden message underneath, and you'll have to do everything. Because here's what we're not really saying out loud. The world these girls are entering hasn't changed. Having a busy, high-paying career still penalises motherhood. The invisible labour nobody sees is still there. The juggling still happens, the closed doors are still there. The gender pay gap is still here. The empowerment slogans just got an upgrade. The world didn't. Girls were already outperforming boys before the slogans. Without girl power branding, they were already developing skills, resilience, emotional intelligence. More doors are open now more than ever, which is real progress. But with the current trajectory, we're at risk of sending them through those doors carrying the weight of the slogan and the weight of everything that hasn't changed. And something has to give. We're already seeing in this generation. Women are juggling themselves to exhaustion, the wishing for a soft life as a cry for help, the glamorisation of the 1950s housewife returning as an answer to girls who were given new doors to open, the burnout from juggling emotional needs, busy careers and children. And underneath all of it, there's a burning question. Not many people are asking our girls, do you actually want this? Or did we just tell you that you did? The dinosaur shirt gives boys something the empowerment slogan doesn't give girls. Permission. Permission to be messy, to be loud, to play, to just be a child. No expectations are on the front of their jumpers, no roles assigned, no future to live up before they can read. Why can't our girls have that too? Why can't she play in the sand without the weighted expectations already on her back? Why are we in such a rush? Is it really so radical to just let her play? Are we masking the real conversation, the hard one about the world they are actually entering, with a slogan because it's easier? Because selling girl power is way more attractive and comfortable than admitting that the world has some traps set out for them in the name of equality. The weight of expectation on girls has a cost that gets lost in celebration. A generation of women were told to go out and get it. Career, achievement, ambition. And many of them did. But a lot of them now want to put something down. Many of them secretly want the soft life. And they are not the generation that grew up with the empowerment slogans. Now we have a generation of girls growing up with the slogans and the same pressure, but louder and faster. Everywhere they look on social media, someone is doing something, being something, achieving something. We're not giving them a moment to figure out who they are before we've already decided what they should become. The choices that come with a you can do anything slogan are real choices with real consequences. A high-flying career and motherhood can be juggled, but at what price? And some will only realise what they traded when it's too late to go back. We're packing them off for a marathon without telling them what's at the finish line, or that they can even stop at the finish line. The race number is being put on them before they can even walk, and we're putting the be happy and you've got this on five-year-olds and clapping our hands with delight as they enter the ring of fire unwittingly. The boys meanwhile are in the sandpit, and there's a fence around it. But not the kind anyone talks about. It's the fence of permission. Boys will be boys, stay in there, play, you'll be fine, and the assumption that when they grow up, the world will still be arranged for them. Meanwhile, the girls have the open sand pit. No fence, no boundaries, endless horizon. Which sounds like freedom until you remember it comes with everything we've talked about. But here's what the fence actually costs the boys. The girls that they're growing up alongside are louder, more capable, more qualified than any generation before them. And rather than rising to meet that, some of them are blaming it. The GCSU's results come out and suddenly it's the poor boys being outstripped. As if girls doing well is the problem. And this isn't about blame. Everyone in the story is a consequence of the system they were handed. We need to let our girls play, and we need to open the gate for our boys. Both things at the same time. Because if we don't, the collision course is already set. Fast forward to a woman at 28. Grew up being told she could do anything, and she did. She excelled herself. A career, ambitions, life. A man at 28 told nothing. So he did. Nothing different than all the generations previous. She's exhausted from doing everything. He's lost because no one showed him anything. They're not on opposing teams. This isn't a love story gone wrong. This is two rows that were never meant to meet. And somewhere in the background, a little girl in a you've got this t-shirt is watching. We know loneliness is a disease. We're raising boys and girls on different planets. Girls are heading to space. Boys are left on Earth. And when they finally meet, if they meet, will they even speak the same language? And these are just the two rails I can see from here. And if you think the empowerment trap is hard for girls, or the lost road map is hard for boys, imagine being a child who doesn't fit either rail. No slogan, no dinosaur, no messages at all, because no one thought to make one. They are growing up as onlookers, navigating a store that was never stocked for them. And somehow, when they don't fit, we act surprised. The rails were never built for everyone, and the ones left without one pay the highest price. The children who don't fit the binary aren't breaking the system, they are revealing it was broken all along. So one thing I do know is that we have to ask ourselves our own questions whilst the world's still in this space. What world were we preparing girls for? The one that exists, or the one the slogan promises? When did empowerment become another thing for girls to carry? Two different rails, two different messages. You've got this girl underneath, you're going to need it. And a dinosaur jumper that says, you're free. Just be. By the time they see what's underneath, it's too late. Unless we decide it isn't. That's all for this week. Next week I'm going to be discussing titles. See you next week. And until then, don't forget use the free to cast.