Hello Hoovers

Basket Full of Eggs: The Wild West of IVF

• Brooke Eden & Hilary Hoover • Season 1 • Episode 8

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On this episode, the Hoovers chat about egg retrieval, giving shots in a Domino's parking lot and the rest of their IVF process 

#HelloHoovers #WLW #BrookeEden #Hilaryhoover #Relationships #lgbtq

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Hello Hoovers is a refreshingly candid new podcast from country artist Brooke Eden and her wife, Hilary Hoover, a powerhouse couple whose love story has quietly reshaped what authenticity looks like in country music and beyond.

Brooke is known for her commanding vocals, fearless honesty, and groundbreaking visibility as one of the first openly queer women in mainstream country music. Hilary is a former country radio executive turned real estate investor and LGBTQ family advocate. She brings the kind of calm wit and lived experience of someone who is both behind the scenes and in the spotlight.

Together, they take listeners on wild ride navigating marriage, music, motherhood, and modern queer life in Nashville with the same warmth and humor that made fans fall in love with them in the first place. No topic is off limits —from coming out in a conservative industry to balancing career and parenthood, no conversation is too real, too funny, or too tender to share.

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SPEAKER_04

Hey y'all, I'm Brooke.

SPEAKER_03

I'm Hillary. And we're the Hoovers. She's a singer. She's an entrepreneur. We're wives, we're moms, and a whole lot of other things.

SPEAKER_01

And this is Hello Hoovers.

SPEAKER_03

Is the um room still shaking?

SPEAKER_01

My room is my room is definitely still like this.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. My my sea legs are good now. The first day we got back, I was like, whoa.

SPEAKER_01

You were struggling at the time. It was struggling. I was better. We just got back from a cruise. Um, I was singing on a Vicaya cruise. And I mean, I feel like while we were on the boat, you would be like, oh my gosh, the boat is moving. And I couldn't feel the boat moving for a lot of it, which was really nice for my shows. Because when I was watching other performers, I went Ginger Minge played, and two of the amazing actors and singers from Rent played, and we went to their shows. And for Ginger's show, there was like this specific moment when like the whole boat kind of like went like that for a second. And I was like, ooh, this is gonna be fun with Corey. But I actually didn't feel it like after the second or third day.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, you all of a sudden were just like I don't know what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Yeah. And now we're home and I still feel like I'm on a boat. Don't you ever forget.

SPEAKER_03

I know. I was rocking for like the first day. I'm convinced that Beckham became a better walker because of he was on the boat and he had to like strengthen his little walking body and his like little core. Yeah, his little core got strengthened from like walking on the boat, and now he's like a pro. So I'm convinced that it helped him.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, he came home running through our house, like literally all over the house. He had been running. It happened so fast. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

I feel like we should dig in about Bex and how he got here and just that whole scenario.

SPEAKER_01

It's such an experience. We also got a message, and you know, I think that for me, like the most important part of doing this podcast is like helping people through this journey. Because I think that for the two of us, that was like one of the hardest things was feeling like we didn't have people to kind of look to.

SPEAKER_03

Um, and so not a lot of I mean, there are resources I'm sure, like that are like websites or blogs or whatever, but sometimes it just feels like so much information. I'm like, I just need somebody to just break it down for me. Yes, yes, exactly. And um, when I feel like when we started this podcast, a lot of our uh DMs have been filled with asking about IVF. So as much as we've like had a lot of other stuff to talk about or our story, I just am like it's been on my mind that I'm like, I really want to touch on this first. But do you read or do you want me to read?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, well, we we did touch on IVF on episode four, but I feel like it's time to like really dive in and give a lot of details. Okay. So Ashlyn wrote to us and she said, Hey guys, I hope you're doing well. I wanted to see if there is any way y'all would touch on the conception process with Beckham. My soon-to-be wife and I are looking to start a family in the next year, year-ish, and we have no idea where to start for donors, what to look for, how vetted these sites are, etc. So I'd be curious to hear about what that process looked like for y'all.

SPEAKER_03

Well, it's funny to see the line that says conception process. Yeah. Because like a straight couple would hear that and just be like, really? And and I laugh because I'm like, with us, like, you don't have to wonder if it was an accident. Like, you know, it's like people are like, How did this baby come to be? You know, it's it's just like a whole different world that I, you know, I didn't none of us had like a handbook for it or anything like that.

SPEAKER_01

So I mean, even straight couples who are dealing with, you know, not being able to conceive and you know, dealing with like their fertility and figuring all of that out. Right.

SPEAKER_03

Um I'm just saying that it's more of a topic, I think, in the queer community because you're not, you don't have to hold back from asking a queer couple, how did your babies get here? Totally. Whereas a straight couple, it's like very split on if that's an appropriate question to ask. But with us, it's like, well, there's gonna be a story there, you know? So um it is interesting too. It's like I feel like something that bonds our community quite a bit too, because when we were on the cruise and we had our baby on the cruise, I had a few people obviously ask questions, and then also um the Anthony Rapp from Rent, he has his two babies, and so very quickly we got into a conversation about like adoption and IVF and just decision making it's in decision making, and it's just like definitely an unknown world, and it's the wild, wild west, so it helps to have some people that want to dig in.

SPEAKER_01

But um and I think what's really cool about the queer community and how we conceive our babies and you know how they come into our lives, um, is that there are so many different options. Yes, like we really do have so many different ways that the stork drops our babies.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, you know, totally the stork, at all stork.

SPEAKER_01

I know, but that's another thing is like, you know, we were on the cruise and you were figuring something out logistically, and I was over on my phone, I think responding to comments or something, and this sweet, sweet man, he was probably around 90 years old. He sees Beckham. Oh, that's what I was doing. I had Beckham and I was strolling him around, and um this sweet man came up to me and he was like, I have four kids and 30 grandkids and 60 great-grandkids and one great-grandkid. And I was like, Whoa, and here we are, you know, we are on this gay cruise, and this man is older, so there wasn't, you know, probably adoption and all that. So I said, How long were you married? And he said, I played around with the boys when I was younger, but I knew that I really wanted a family, and I knew that my only way of doing that at that time was to marry a woman. Which was true.

SPEAKER_03

It's very rare the people that we meet um before us, you know, a generation before us, it's very rare that these are same-sex partners that are able to go through an adoption process or an IVF process. It's more common, I feel like, that they would like marry um the opposite sex or have just have babies with the opposite sex in order to be able to have a family. So it is great. Like we were born in the right generation that you and I can get together and have babies, you know, together and have those options.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's really, really wild. But I just I kind of like listened to his story and I started to tear up a little bit because he was like, I, you know, I met this this country girl, and we, you know, had four beautiful babies together and we had a life together. And, you know, even though I was with guys when I was younger, I committed to her and I stuck to that commitment and I and I meant it and I loved her very much. But, you know, she passed away of cancer, and you know, then I met the the love of my life who was a man, and it just like hit me so hard that you know we get to have these options that so many generations before us didn't get to have. Totally.

SPEAKER_03

Well, I think that's why so many people reach out to us because they are like, where do you start? And that's so cool that we have all these options, but I need to know where to go from here.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. Well, let's get to it. All right, let's get into it. Okay, so we had the same fertility center, the same fertility doctor, and we are nine months apart in age, and yet we had two extremely different experiences when it came to IVF. Totally.

SPEAKER_03

Well, I kind of wanted to dig into like our decision to do IVF, you know. When we met each other, we very quickly like we fell in love as humans, but it was also very quickly to go like you're a mom and I want you to be the mother of my children, you know.

SPEAKER_01

I asked you on day one if you wanted to be a mom.

SPEAKER_03

Right, right, right. So that's why I'm like it that was that part was easy. The whole like let's have babies together part was easy. Like as soon as we got together, it was like we're gonna have a family, you know, it's just gonna be a matter of how many babies that we have, you know. And I know that we discussed adoption and we discussed IUI, and we ended up going down the IVF route. I don't remember exactly how we landed on it, but I think with IVF, I felt like there was a little bit more control than with IUI. And also, for those of you who don't know, um I've IUI is like insemination, artificial insemination, yeah. And then IVF is actually making the embryos in advance and then implanting them.

SPEAKER_01

And making the embryos with your eggs. We both had egg extractions, so both of our eggs and a sperm donor. So that's how that works. But I think also we chose IVF because of the number of kids that we wanted. Yeah, we really want three kids. That I don't know why that's like our magic number.

SPEAKER_03

And I think another reason why um we wanted to do IVF was because we knew that I would be the one to carry, and that was the way to do that. So for me to carry both your embryos and my embryos, IVF was I think the right decision for us. So that's how we landed on that. But we can dig now into kind of like your egg retrieval, my egg retrieval, and how that went.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Well, for the record, before we get things started, I think it's really important to figure out your fertility center because every fertility center works a little bit differently. So for us, we really just went to one specific fertility center because we had talked to some other parents who went there and really had a good experience. And then, of course, there's so many different doctors within that specific fertility center, and we had heard so many good things about our specific doctor, so that's how we ended up there. They will do a lot of testing at the beginning to like check your fertility and check your uterus and all the things. And for me, I am actually not able to carry children, so that was a big part of us choosing IVF, was because I can't carry. So there wasn't a way that I could do IUI with like my egg.

SPEAKER_03

I really like your clip about your life hack.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, yeah. My life hack is marry your surrogate, it's like the best thing in the world.

SPEAKER_03

And you were talking about how the strangest part about your medical journey is that if you were married to a man or if you were trying to have babies with a man, you wouldn't have been able to without fertility treatment or a surrogate. So the fact that you married a woman actually made it easier on you being able to have babies than it would have been if you married a man, which I think is hilarious.

SPEAKER_01

It's literally like the universe, God, like whatever you believe in, it's very that. You know, it's very like I always knew that I wanted to be a mom. I wouldn't have been able to carry my own child. I married my surrogate. I mean, it's a good hack. It's a great life. Yeah. Yeah. For you, for for me, sorry, baby. Yeah, I'm sorry, baby. No, it's okay. But I do think it's really cool that even before we knew that information, we were talking about who would carry, and you were like, I really have a desire to carry. So once we decided on our fertility doctor, we both go in and we're having like two different appointments. And Hillary would always pop out of her appointment and be like, Oh yeah, everything was great. How was yours? And I'm like, they don't see any follicles. And my numbers were really, really low. And your numbers being like um the AMH, I think a Yeah, it's basically like your egg numbers, like how many follicles you have in there, and like, you know, your the opportunities that you have to create eggs from your follicles and all that.

SPEAKER_03

And I remember our fertility doctor, she was so sweet about it, but she was like asking what we wanted as far as carrying and stuff. And we were like, we don't really care whose DNA is in these babies, but Hillary will likely carry. And I remember her, she was sweet about it, but she was like, Thank you. And we're like, okay. She was like, if you were the only woman in the relationship and you really wanted to carry, I would work really hard to make that happen for you. But Hillary would probably be an easier person to carry. And we were like, that works out well with us and what we want. Yeah. And I think for us at that point, it was like, now we just gotta figure out if we can get eggs out of both of us, which would mean then embryos out of both of us.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Well, a little backstory. I had a ruptured appendix when I was in the fourth grade. And so that's why my uterus is kind of like it's she's been through some stuff. She's she's been through some hard stuff. Yeah, she's a little battered and bruised. So I like our doctor was like, I could try, but it would take like surgeries and all these things. Right. So I also have ovarian cysts, which is definitely more difficult in retrieving eggs and all of that as well. So we had so many hoops to to jump through. So Hillary did her egg retrieval first.

SPEAKER_03

When I went through egg retrieval, it was very straightforward. Um, so egg retrieval is when they basically go and they like pump your little ovaries with drugs to make multiple eggs ovulate at the same time. So the whole concept is if you extract uh eggs at a certain point, then they will be ready for fertilization. So they have to extract them from your body.

SPEAKER_01

So for us- One thing that I didn't know about ovulation is that in a normal ovulation cycle, you produce a lot of follicles, but only one actually comes to the surface and lives. In the egg retrieval process, what they're doing is stimulating all of your follicles so that they can get many out at one time versus just one. And that's how you end up getting like a a basket of eggs, you know, instead of just one egg. Right.

SPEAKER_03

And so when we went through that, um, I I don't remember my exact numbers, but I had plenty. I had probably I think you had like 16. Yeah, I think I had about eight on each side, and they'll tell you through the process on each side of your overdose. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so they'll they'll um tell you through the process. So I was getting shots every single day, um, injections, yeah. Every single day. And it's for these are belly shots at this point. Yeah, these are the easier ones, but I mean, it's still obviously hard to have an injection every single day and the doctor's appointments, and you definitely feel your body going through something.

SPEAKER_01

Well, let's tell them about, you know, kind of what the doctor's appointments are. Just about every other day, you're going in for doctor's appointments so that they can check in on the follicles and see the sizes. They want the best case scenario is that they get a majority of your eggs to the same size at the same time and extract them when they're like perfectly mature. So they're checking in on all of your hormone levels just about every other day. So every other day you're going in and usually getting your blood tested. Um, and every night, every single night, you are doing one to three injections in your belly. So there's a lot of needles in this process for it. I mean, it it depends on your specific body, but from around 10 to 15 days.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. So for me, I think it was about 11 days. And the first few days, I was totally fine. Like the injections were what they were, but like my body felt totally fine. And then towards the end of the week, um, I would recommend if you are doing this, I would recommend like you don't have to be like sitting on a couch the entire time, but towards the end of your process, like just take it easy. So for me, I was, I think, on day eight or nine, and I'm your tour manager. So we were uh at a show in Louisville, and I just pushed it too hard. I was doing too much that day.

SPEAKER_01

I was playing Kentucky in a pride, and you know, it's the middle of June, so it's hot, and you were working my merch, and it was right after Outlaw Love came out. So, you know, all these people and couples that had seen us on TikTok were coming to the merch line after the show to do meet and greets, and everyone wanted you in a picture, or they were buying shirts, and you were just hustling, and I kept on being like, babe, we have other people on the team that are here right now. Let's like, you know, hand off some of the like front work, and you were like, I'm good.

SPEAKER_03

It's hard, it's just that's part of the gig. So that's just what I'm used to doing. Yeah, and so we had driven to Louisville like late the night before, had a full day, and then I was like, we can do it, we can drive home that night. Meanwhile, I had to do an injection in a Domino's parking lot.

SPEAKER_01

Because if you see us in the Domino's parking lot with like a syringe, yes, and like a tube, you're probably not like, Oh, those girls are doing IVF.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, they were definitely being judged. But but yeah, so I had to do it wherever you are. Like, so keep that in mind as you're doing yours. Like, yeah, if if you're in a dorm domino's parking lot at seven o'clock, that's where you're doing the shot. If you're in a hotel room or just at a restaurant, you know, you just have to find a place to go and do it. So it's only it's less than two weeks, but you just have to keep that in mind that that's part of the process.

SPEAKER_01

And then you have to do it every single night at a specific time, depending on you know, your specific body and your specific protocol. So yeah, just know that that week you are very much dedicated to those shots at that time. And I also remember during your egg retrieval, I was playing the today show. Yeah. And you had to fly home after the right after the today show um because you had a doctor's appointment the next morning, and I had to stay because I had press the next morning, and you flew home and you had to inject yourself. Yeah, that was not fun. No, I still remember that feeling.

SPEAKER_03

If you can get somebody else to do it, I don't care if it's a partner or or who anybody else, but um, we went through the process and we had there was a few times where I had to have some friends step in and give me shots, and um obviously like some people do it themselves and more power to you if you can. But yeah, so I had to be like, Hey, meet you at seven o'clock, or you're coming over at seven o'clock to help give me injections because trying to do it myself was the only night that I was like, like, I think I like cried because I was just like, it hurts and I can't do it and it's hard. And um, but also take it really easy towards the end of that process. Yeah, so they actually by the end of the week, they usually tell you like what to expect on how many eggs that you're likely gonna get, and then you go under. I mean, it's it's a minor surgery, but it is a surgery, so they I don't know what they knock you out somehow.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, they put you under anesthesia. We had an anesthesiologist that came in, and it is a very quick process, it's nothing to be scared of.

SPEAKER_03

20 minutes, maybe.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it was really, really quick and easy. Um, and then it's just like a waiting game, you know. But I did want to go back to the the Domino's pizza story. Yeah. Because we were driving home from Louisville back to Nashville that night, and you felt sick the whole way home because you had done so much, and you ended up can I say? You can say okay, you ended up throwing up in the rose pepper parking lot.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, not rose pepper, must tacos tacos parking lot. I pushed it, I pushed it. And so the yeah, the piece of advice I would give would just be to like just take it easy because you're gonna hear different versions of differ from different people on like how hard it was, and you know, just take it easy, just be good at good to yourself and just lay in bed if you can for the last few nights. And then um, yeah, and then I did the egg retrieval, and then I think the doctor came in and said these are how many eggs we get. And there's there's several steps from there as far as how to see how your eggs and embryos are doing, and and you went through your process, which we'll talk about as well.

SPEAKER_01

But well, you're basically waiting for your eggs to mature over the next six-ish days. So you really want your eggs to, you know, like fully form, and so that is like such a waiting game. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Well, and I want to sidebar it and say we are not in the medical community. Right. This is just our experience. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Like this is what we've learned from the medical community during our process, but we are no like doctor nurse.

SPEAKER_03

I wanted to expand on it because we never had anybody to look at to talk about it like this in this way, where they're like, this is what I went through. But I do want to reiterate like we can give you, like, obviously our experience, but consult with a doctor and stuff on like exactly what your process will look like. But for us, they took my eggs out and then they told me how many were mature, how many they were able to freeze then after that. So your number kind of starts to go down. So you might start with 20, and then they might be like 15 were mature enough to freeze. And then after that, they might be like, okay, 10 of them um went through genetic testing or were inseminated and became embryos, and then eight of them passed genetic testing, or whatever your numbers may be. But so just know that you kind of start at a certain point, and as it goes through the process, it like narrows down and narrows down, and you really just hope that you got enough out to have enough at the end that passed genetic testing, and you're so you're able to do it do the transfers. But I do want to talk about your experience and just how you know I had gone through mine, and so you thought you knew kind of what to expect. Obviously, you knew that you had had some medical issues in the past, but yeah, just what that looks like for you.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Well, while her process was very like traditional, mine was very much not. I had Had low follicle counts, low egg counts. And so I had to be stimulated three times the amount of medication that Hillary had to be stimulated. So not only was that more medication, but it was like three times the amount, like dollar-wise, than Hillary's was. Um, and her process was 11 days to be fully stimulated. Mine was 15, which is like actually more than like the normal process is supposed to be. It's supposed to be like a max of 14, and um, my eggs were fully stimulated at 15 days. The process I feel like wasn't as grueling because I didn't start with as many eggs. So I didn't feel like I was necessarily like waddling at the end because I wasn't walking around with like basketfuls of eggs on my ovaries.

SPEAKER_03

I was like that you call them baskets of eggs. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

It's like a it's like an Easter hunt.

SPEAKER_03

Like you're like Easter hunt. Like a chicken coop or something. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. It's very Easter. Um, but yeah, I mean, my process um was, you know, the same as yours in the sense that like I had to do my shots at the same time every night. Um, but mine was just like three times the amount. And I'm a big baby, whereas you're really brave.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

So every night, um, as soon as I was done with my shots, you would come, I would go get in bed, put a heating pad on my belly, and you would bring me an Oreo and milk. Yeah. And that was like my present for the shot.

SPEAKER_03

This is so irrelevant to the actual medical process, but I will say it is not fun to put um needles inside of you. And so I feel like you have to find ways to make it cute and fun. Like we would play this song by LMFAO called Shots, put it on the Alexa, and it would play, and we would just like sing and dance while we were doing the injections. Yes. And then we'd I'd bring you an Oreo and milk and we would just like make it cute because it it sucks. Like, there's not, I'm not gonna act like it doesn't suck, you know? Yeah. But obviously, we just like found our little routine. Yeah. Um, we were not sure when you went to get your egg retrieval done. And and keep in mind, I mean, I'm sure we'll talk more about this as well, but it is not a cheap process. Um, if you have insurance for that, then you are very lucky. Oh my god, take full advantage. Um, but obviously, like when we went through this, we're going through it twice as two women.

SPEAKER_01

And and we're both uh self-employed, so we did not have insurance for it.

SPEAKER_03

So out of pocket, and and it was important to us. And if you want babies, then it's worth it. Um, but I remember when we were going through your process, the medication was more expensive, and we were going into this surgery, not sure if you're gonna walk away with any. And um, spoiler alert, we did, and so we were very happy that we both walked away with some eggs. Um, and then we luckily we were able at the fertility clinic to kind of put our eggs in one basket. Yeah. And um, that's kind of how they treat our file. And so what's cool is that from there forward, it was really just like through the genetic testing, it was like, how much do we have? And it felt very much like a group project at that point.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Um everything is just like hoover embryos together.

SPEAKER_03

Totally. So it's really fun. So um, once we both did egg retrieval, we chose a sperm donor. And I think that we've touched on this a little bit before, but um, we decided to do a donor from a sperm bank. Um, our choice in that was we went back and forth on that too. We really just I mean, make sure that before you start this process, discuss everything. I mean, everything from, you know, obviously IVF to IUI to adoption to surrogacy, and then also like the DNA aspects of it as well. And the more that you can have these conversations early on, yeah, the better it's gonna get later on because you can sit with those decisions and know that that's what you wanted to do. And luckily, we were we were sure we wanted to do a um donor from a sperm bank, and we have touched on this, but we found the right guy. He felt like family to us, and um, it felt like exactly what was meant to be in our family. So what they did was they took then our eggs and they inseminated them in a petri dish. So once we we get our egg numbers back and then they inseminate, and then you get fertilize, fertilize, and then you get your embryo numbers back. So luckily, after this process, they came back to us and told us that um I believe between the two of us we had like six or seven genetically sound embryos, and we were like, that hopefully should do it.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. Um but that's a that's a thing as well. Like you can choose to go through genetic testing or not go through genetic testing. For us, it was important to go through genetic testing at the beginning so we could kind of see what our numbers were and plan accordingly. Um, that also is another extra cost. So depending on where you live and insurance or not insurance and your specific fertility center, um it can cost uh a range of different prices. So make sure that you talk about those costs up front because it is something that can kind of like creep up.

SPEAKER_03

We that I will say that's one thing that like we thought we knew what the numbers looked like at the beginning. We were like, okay, it'll be a few grand here and a few grand there, and it'll just kind of eventually, I think we have an idea of what it'll be, and it ended up being quite a bit more than what we thought. Um, we made a few mistakes along the way, not knowing exactly what the costs were gonna be. So if I were to go back and do it again, I would just get like a breakdown of every step, like not an overarching loose number, but a breakdown of every step and what the cost would be because it it it started to be to the point where we were like, oh, wasn't expecting that and wasn't expecting that.

SPEAKER_01

And the reason that we decided to do genetic testing is because if you have sound genetic, like if you have sound embryos that are gen have been genetically tested, um you have a much higher rate. Success rate. Yes, you have a much higher success rate during the transfer process. So it's like more money up front, but later on it's could save you some money. Yeah. Yeah. You really do always finish my sentences, don't you?

SPEAKER_03

Just if I know where you're headed. Spoiler alert, we uh did our first transfer, and it's Beckham, it's our son. And so we can't speak for everybody in what decision's right for them. Like to other people, the right decision might be to to have a known donor. The but right decision might be to not do genetic testing or to do IUI. And I totally understand that is this is not us saying this is the right decision to make, it's just the decisions that we made. And for us, Beckham was a successful first transfer, so I can't really like go back and regret genetic testing or regret any of the steps along the way, and that is what worked for us. But I do understand, like for some people who are like, I absolutely do not want to pay for genetic testing, then that's okay, you know, and you may have a perfectly successful first transfer and it'd be perfect, you know. We just I guess we went into it kind of wanting to know more information and just get as much know as much as we can at the very beginning, you know.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, we have three different lesbian couples that we talked to before we got started that already had kids and two actually all three of them tried IUI first, but um, it is a much cheaper, you know, way of doing it. And um we have friends who've only done IUI and they've gotten pregnant on the very first transfer. We have another lesbian couple who literally tried nine IUI before they did an egg transfer with an embryo. Yeah, and they got pregnant on the first transfer after nine failed IUIs. Um we have another lesbian couple who did one IUI, it failed. Next IUI, they have a beautiful three-year-old little girl. Um, so it it totally depends on your family and your decisions. And a lot of this is like physical, but even more of this is emotional and a lot of decision making, and you know, just a lot of choices. You have to make a lot of choices.

SPEAKER_03

But I remember there was a few different times when we were just had analysis paralysis because we were like, How many decisions are we gonna have to make? And just when we thought we were done, there were more to make.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god, if it were up to me, I would probably be childless for my entire life because I have such analysis paralysis, and you were so good about like helping us get to the next step and somebody had pushing us forward.

SPEAKER_03

Somebody had to. I was like, All right, we're never gonna get there if we don't just like make a decision. Make a move. I was probably pushy in some of the steps, but it was just because I was like, I'm ready, we gotta figure this out and let's keep moving the train forward. Cause it can get to the point where you're like, what do we do now? What's next? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Well, speaking of what's next, we now in this process that we're at right now, we have six or seven embryos on ice. And at that moment when we, when, you know, we went through egg retrieval and we were there, we weren't exactly right then ready to do a transfer, which is great for, you know, being able to freeze our our embryos. Um, but I do remember the process of like when we were like, okay, we wanna, you know, start the process and do a transfer and and hope and pray that we have a baby. Right.

SPEAKER_03

Well, and for and also just keep this in mind as well if you if you do do IVF. So you did we did the egg retrievals, we got the sperm, we got the embryos, but then it comes transfer time. And for us, it was like about a seven-week process from okay, I'm ready to start this, and then to doing the actual transfer day. And that was another thing where we really had to get like our friends involved and everything like that, because there were times when you went out of town and I was like, I need some help, I need some friends to come over. So um I did I did bring in two or three different friends to say, All right, you're injecting me, and like sorry and thank you. And it's just like real intimate, but it's like I don't know, it's it definitely felt like our village was starting between that, and then also like, like you said, talking to the lesbian friends. And if I were to go back, I would say like dig even if you have queer friends that have been through something similar, and obviously we're telling the story like from a uh two female couple um perspective, but like if you have any queer friends that have kids, like take them out to dinner, just like pick their brains as much as you can because the more information you can get at the beginning, the better, because there's so much to figure out. Um, but you lean on your community a lot and don't be afraid to ask questions because um there, I I mean, I'm sure there are some resources, but there's nothing like sitting down and going, What did you go through? You know?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and it was also really cool because our best friend Vina was going through her egg retrieval at the same time. Um, and to just kind of toss information back and forth with each other was super helpful because she was getting some information that we weren't getting and we were getting some information that she wasn't giving getting. And so we to just be able to like group things on that a little bit was really, really helpful in our our in our journey. But yeah, I mean, for the the transfer process, it's a seven-week process. We start with patches, right? It was birth control and then patches, birth control and then patches and then shots. And these are the shots that go in the buttocks for our next transfer.

SPEAKER_03

I I think about that a lot. I just am like, oh, those thick needles for the transfer process.

SPEAKER_01

I know. And I gave them 97% of the time, and I hate needles, and I really hate pain for you. Like I think about it constantly.

SPEAKER_03

What about next time around? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And so, you know, you do kind of get good at it though. You like you kind of get into this, like, you know, of putting on shots by LMFAO was very helpful because it kind of like just gets you in the zone. You're just like back there, and you're like, I can do this.

SPEAKER_03

Well, and we think I I used to play that song when I was in college and taking, you know, shots of alcohol, and it's just like not quite as fun.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I was a bartender in college at a tequila bar. Yeah. And on Sundays, we had Sunday Fun Day, and every hour on the hour, we gave out free tequila shots to anyone in the bar. So my job as and they played shots whenever we were doing that. So my job as soon as that song started playing from like the age of like 19 to 21 was to just pour an endless supply of shots. So I had a little bit of trauma from that experience. So to like bring it into this experience and be like, no, we're not just getting people drunk, we're making a baby. You know, it's like a very different, uh, a very different journey. Different party, a whole different kind of party. A whole different party. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Um, it's it's interesting too because we were kind of quiet about our timing, like we didn't tell a whole lot of people, but then at the same time, like we needed help from friends. So I was like kind of awkwardly vague about like I had our friend Ford like help uh help with a shot. And I was like, we're not like transferring yet. Meanwhile, I think I was like pregnant, and I was like, We're not transferring yet.

SPEAKER_01

Oh yeah, because after you get pregnant, you have to do progesterone, is that right?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, more shots, more shots, yeah. And so it's like kind of funny because you need to lean on your village, but also if you're being kind of quiet about it, then it's like hard at the same time, you know. But um, I do think though that you forget you forget what you went through. Because I'm over here, like it's fine, we'll do it again, no big deal. Meanwhile, needles that were this long were like, you know, going in my back. So yeah. But there was one time when you were out of town, I think you were in London, and I needed to have my shots done. These are the ones I could not do myself, like they were like going in your back, and they're like oh, and we were pregnant, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, so so this is basically to like keep your baby holding on, like to keep the embryo holding on to your uterus, yeah, it like keeps those certain hormones like injected or whatever.

SPEAKER_03

And um, I asked our friend for it. I was like, all right, can you come over? At and it had to be like at seven o'clock. And I think he got stuck in traffic or something, and I we had another friend that was luckily over, and I like needed to get her to step in and help out. And she was like terrified, and she was like, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't do either, I don't do anything. And I pretty much looked at her and I was like, Well, listen, it needs to be done at seven, and it is 6.59, and you are injecting me, whether you want to or not. And I remember she was like, Like, I see her like gearing up, and she's like, Okay, I guess I gotta do this. And I'm like trying to explain it to her, but it's like on the back of my body, so I'm just like, I don't really know how to do this. And next thing you know, she's just like, I just like remember like looking over my shoulder, and I just like see her like coming at me with a needle, and I'm just like, we're doing this, like, okay. And I mean, obviously, like everything was fine, but like I didn't tell them that I was like already pregnant and just like how important the timing was and how important the shot was to keep the pregnancy. So it's just like chaos and needles and just like too much going on, but at the end of the day, you just like gotta power through and do it, no matter like how comfortable you are with needles and how comfortable you are with like the entire process, you just do it. And I swear there's something that like makes you forget what you went through and like makes you not realize like that. I don't even know how many times I was injected with stuff, and at the time it sucked, but now I'm like it's fine, let's do it, let's do it again. It's cool, no biggie.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's wild to me. You are very brave and you have a very high pain tolerance. Um, and so all of this is like I am such a baby when it comes to needles.

SPEAKER_03

You're not a fan.

SPEAKER_01

I am not a fan. So every time that you take a shot to like help create our family, it like really gets me. Aww. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

It's cute. Cause you know, you know it ain't fun.

SPEAKER_01

And I every single time, it is funny too, because we have, you know, been there, we're in the kitchen, your like pants are halfway down your butt, so I can give you this injection. And I am like, baby, I'm so glad that this isn't me. And you're like, I'm so glad that I'm not you.

SPEAKER_03

Like, well, because you got good at giving them. Yeah. Yeah, which is good, because hopefully we're about to do it again and you know, at some point this year. And so you better be ready because you're the one that's gotta do the be be nurse, nurse brook.

SPEAKER_01

You just turn on LMFAO and I'm back in the zone, baby. It's like that's like my fight song. You get in like worry warrior mode. Yeah, exactly. That's like my wrestler, like when I'm like, you know, like the the running out song. That's it for me. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

You're like coming through the tunnel.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Um, I was thinking too about how it's kind of strange the way you build build a community during this time because we have like our besties, right? That are like in our everyday life. And then we'd have like a few um queer couples that I became like social media friends with. Meanwhile, we're not telling family, we're not telling friends that we're doing an injection, but I'm telling like a random girl on Instagram that I've met never met in real life. We did our transfer today, Alex and Whitney. Yeah, because I was like, I wanted input from somebody who had been through it, yeah. But I was we weren't ready to like talk to the people closest to us. And so I remember like there's an old wives tale where you um eat French fries, hopefully McDonald's French fries that are extra salty right after you do a a transfer. There's an old wives tale that's something about the salt, or I don't know what what it is.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it like keeps the the baby holding on, something like that.

SPEAKER_03

So we did it, and obviously it was a successful transfer, so I would highly recommend it. But I remember being in the McDonald's drive-thru line. This was so crazy. And I'm well, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

We had we had just left the hospital and we are driving through the McDonald's drive-thru, getting our salty, salty french fries, and of course I had to eat them with you. And you were like, I'm pregnant. And I was like, What? It was an hour after the transfer.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, and you're like you're not really pregnant yet at that point.

SPEAKER_01

Like, also, I didn't realize this, but I got to be in the operating room when they were doing the transfer, and the embryo is so so so so small that it's actually microscopic. So they have to literally check in like the tube that they use to make sure with under a microscope after they do the transfer to make sure that the embryo came out of the tube. That's how small this little organism is. And but the way that you were talking about it was like this little embryo was like a monkey, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Hanging on.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. And so in my brain, Beckham, who was unnamed at the time, was like this little monkey holding on to your like uterus branch tree, you know?

SPEAKER_03

It felt that literal for me. I really for some reason just felt like it's happened. I'm pregnant. And I remember messaging a few people on Instagram that I had talked to and been like, does it feel like this? Because I feel like I'm pregnant. And a few of them were like, Yeah, that's what it felt like for me, too. So I was like, kind of kind of funny how like random people knew that I was pregnant before we had even told anybody else that we had actually done a transfer. It just felt like there was something in there that hadn't been in there before, which is weird because, like you said, it was microscopic. But do you um I don't know if you've ever really described. So you got to be in the OR with me.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

And will you describe, because I didn't see it, obviously. Like I'm not looking, but you got to watch the screen and you got to watch the actual transfer happen. Will you describe that?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. So there's this little monitor that shows your uterus and it shows the the catheter going into your uterus, and they the nurses and the doctor said, watch for a shooting star. Because the embryo is so small, so you can't actually see the embryo going in, but there's this little gas bubble that comes right after the embryo that they call the shooting star. So I got to watch the little, the little bubble that comes right after the embryo going into your uterus, and it was just like this wild little magic moment. And I remember our embryo was transferred at 1111. Yeah. And I was like, this is just like it felt so right.

SPEAKER_03

Well, it's kind of wild. I don't think I expected that you would get to like see me get pregnant. Mm-hmm. Like you literally watched me get pregnant.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. And you couldn't watch it because you were laying down and the monitor was like closer to the doctor and the doctor 'cause they needed to be able to see it from their angle.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. And the doctor, I mean, our doctor literally had a had me come right next to her. And as she was doing it, she was like, Watch for the shooting star. So that was a it was a very like I felt like I was like watching God, you know, like it just happened.

SPEAKER_03

My wife just got pregnant. Yeah. Bam.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Yeah. So cool.

SPEAKER_03

It was such a a cool, cool moment. So we talked about the egg retrouva process. And then for the transfer process, we've talked about that some, but I did want to expand a little bit on. Um, so we did do injections leading up to that, and then we went into our appointment, our transfer appointment. And I remember like, so you have an embryologist that walks in and is like, we um, so they have to like thaw your embryo. Yeah. So you know, we had obviously like only thawing. We were doing one one transfer, one embryo, and we go in and we get like um there's like a picture. Yeah, we like get in our little Oh, we get all suited up for the OR. And then the embryologist comes in and is like, okay, so we have thawed an embryo because that is part of the process. Like, yeah, it's only like one percent or something, but only one percent of embryos don't thaw successfully. So she came in to confirm that ours did thaw successfully, and then she showed us the picture. Well, our embryo was almost fully hatched, which means that there's basically like it's basically like an a shell of an egg, and then you're like the picture like breaking the egg open, and then the inside is like coming out, and that's what they're transferring into you. Well, it kind of looks like two, which I Brooke was very concerned then that they were putting in twins that day.

SPEAKER_01

I didn't want to make like a stink about it, and I didn't want you to worry, and I just wanted you to be like completely stress-free. But I'm over here looking at the picture of this embryo, like they're putting in twins a hundred percent. Like, that is not one embryo. That is one embryo split into two embryos, we're having twins.

SPEAKER_03

Well, and I knew it was only one, but it makes me laugh that you didn't bring that up and say like.

SPEAKER_01

I didn't first of all, I didn't want to stress you out, and second of all, like if we have Olson twins, it's fine.

SPEAKER_03

Just the fact that you were like, what if they put in twins? It's not a big deal, but they might have.

SPEAKER_01

I did I would rather not stress you out and have twins than stress you out and have one baby.

SPEAKER_03

Gosh, well, I it was just funny getting out of the OR and you being like, Hey, by the way, I think you asked the embryologist, this is just one, right? And she was like, Yeah, it's just one. Like she it's just one, it's just hatched like very good. It's meant to be kind of looking like two, two bulbs, if you will.

SPEAKER_01

She was like, Yeah, that's kind of like the inside of the egg, and then that's kind of like the shell of the egg. And I was like, Oh, thank God. Like, I'm over here, like, you know, two Dunas.

SPEAKER_03

While we're sitting there doing the embryo transfer.

SPEAKER_01

Is all that we want during this process. Totally. But I did want to like kind of go a little further on the shots that you were taking before the transfer. Those are also to just prepare your body for pregnancy. So I don't I don't actually know exactly what it does.

SPEAKER_02

Again, we're not in the medical community.

SPEAKER_01

Right. But I know that we there's like a certain hormone level that they want you to be at. And um, there are shots after you get pregnant, and those shots like literally help the baby stay attached to your uterus.

SPEAKER_03

Um so they're trying to get the embryo to attach to the uterine lining, and the way it attaches the uterine lining is to have a certain thickness and to um I'm not gonna word this correctly, but to keep the thickness of your uterus to be at the right place. Progesterone is the hormone that is um keeps it nice and sticky. Nice and sticky. There you have it. I think that's what they say in the medical journals. Yeah. Um, so what we did, which this is again, just you know, do not always do what we do. Just want to clarify that. Um, so we, even though I was like sure I was pregnant, obviously you don't know. And what happened, at least for us, I believe there was a blood test um about 10 days after the um transfer happened. And we you're supposed to, they they tell you, they don't give you the option. They tell you, do not take a pregnancy test before you come in for the blood test because the way that the injections work and the hormones work, like it might show that you're pregnant and you're not actually pregnant. So just to not make it convenient.

SPEAKER_01

False positives and false negatives both exist.

SPEAKER_03

Like if you test too early, you might get a negative and you're positive, and vice versa. Yeah so um they say not to test and you just wait until the blood tests. Well, maybe when did we test? I think it was day five. It was day five. And um they didn't told us not to, and I did it anyway, and we saw a faint uh pink line. It's such a little line. It's such a little line. We set up a camera and everything, and I just had a feeling, and I was like, I just want to do it.

SPEAKER_01

And you were so confident that you were pregnant, which is crazy, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Because like I've never been pregnant before and I didn't know.

SPEAKER_01

Also I didn't know like you are aware that your body feels different than it did five days before, you know? So your confidence, yeah, your confidence made me confident, but it was so funny because you had been doing so much research, so many, so much Googling.

SPEAKER_03

I was very nerdy about the whole process.

SPEAKER_01

Like it was probably you probably read a million Reddit, like it just you were just always on trying to figure out, you know, what was coming next and what to expect, and you're really good at that. And you were like, even if we have the faintest line, we're pregnant. And it was the faintest line.

SPEAKER_03

I don't even think you really saw it. I I looked at it, I saw it, and I showed it to you. And you were like, is it there? And I'll say that.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, you really had to like get it in the perfect light to be able to see it, and you were like, No, that is pregnant, and you were so confident about it, and then we're like crying and we're jumping up and down, but I am also like that. And you're like, that's and every day just got darker and darker.

SPEAKER_03

And I I had a onesie that I brought you once it was positive because I was so excited. But that is what you're supposed to look for is well, you're not supposed to do this, so don't do this. But if you do, if you do, then um the lines are supposed to get darker and darker every day. So they did, and we like kept them out and just kind of got to look at them. And um, we then by the time we went to the doctor, I'm pretty sure that I like fake act acted surprise. Like I didn't want to tell on us for the fact that we cheated and we tested early. But um, and then we got the call, and I think they did two blood tests because I think they want to make sure that your numbers are going in the right direction. So um, luckily we had a confirmed pregnancy, and then um at that point it was like we looked at each other like, okay, we did it, it worked, and I don't know how confident we were that it was going to. And at that point, it was like, when do we tell friends? When do we tell family? And obviously, everybody does that in their own way at their own time. But we had a plan to wait until I don't even know.

SPEAKER_01

I think it was 12 weeks because that's like you know, you're past the first trimester, and your your chances of having a miscarriage drop drastically once you're in the second trimester.

SPEAKER_03

And we were like, step one, step two, and I looked at a hundred thousand Reddit things, and then I remember looking at you and being like, wait, we're pregnant, like that it's done. Like, we did it, you know, and it's like now what? Like now, now there's a baby coming. So it's like a whole new world opened up when we once we could like shift our brains from like fertility clinic IVF to like preparing for a baby, like from the the entire process of getting pregnant to being pregnant.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, yes, and that's a whole new story for a whole nother.

SPEAKER_03

I'm glad that we dug into this IVF stuff because like it's not always like the most fun topics necessarily, but we've had a lot of people reach out. Like, one of the biggest things that people have reached out to us about has been expanding on our IVF journey and everything like that. So I'm just glad that like we're hopefully gonna be able to be a resource for people to ask us questions, you know.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, we want to hear from y'all like, what do you want to talk about? What do you want us to talk about? We want to hear your stories. Like this community to us is more than us talking at camera. Yeah, we we love to hear your stories, we love to hear your journeys, and it's really important to us that this is a a two-way street here and that we're communicating with you and you're communicating with us too. And I do want to read a message that we got because it it really warmed my heart, and it's just like this is why we do this, this is why we sit here with our team and we, you know, have these conversations. But um, this person said, Thank you so much for starting your podcast and for sharing your story, your love, and your family and how you've built it along the way. Hearing how you have struggled throughout your journey has meant more to me than I can explain. I'm relatively new to the queer community and I've been struggling a bit to figure out where I fit and how to truly find myself. Listening to you has made me feel safe and comforted in a way that's hard to put into words. The way you speak about your life and your journey gives me hope and reassurance. And first of all, I do want to like touch a little bit on like finding that community because I feel like for me, finding my community made me realize that I was not alone on a deserted island. You know, I really did think like, oh, I'm the only one who like has this specific journey. And yes, everyone has a whole different experience, but you are not the only one who feels this way. You're not the only one who's questioning, you know, how to come to self-love or how to freaking find someone who is going through the same things that you are, or you know, has gone through that and can kind of like hold your hand and get you through that journey. So this communication that we're having is so, so important to us. And hearing your stories um along the way is what will fuel our podcast. What will fuel this conversation is y'all, you know, your emails, your DMs. Um, and if you do want to like email us a question or tell us a story, we love stories. Um, you can email us at hello at hellohoovers.com. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

We started this just because we had like wanted to feel closer to our community and our people. It's so good to hear from people because at the end of the day, that's what it's all about is about being with our people and getting to know what's going on with you guys and not feeling like we're alone either, you know? So um I would love to hear more from people. We're we're getting to chat with people in our comment sections and in our DMs and um getting to take some polls and hear what people think about our stories too.

SPEAKER_01

So it's just I know where you're going with that, Brick Eden. Yeah. Uh-huh. Brick Eden herself is here. Yeah. 80% of you thought that they that you were on Hillary's side versus mine in the brick throwing story. And to be fair, looking back, I'm also on Hillary's side. But don't tell her that. And I stand behind most of my actions back.

SPEAKER_03

Most of your actions. Well, 80% of you stand behind my actions. So all that to say, it's been really fun to just kind of get to banter with you guys and and hear what's going on. So we'll keep that up. We'll read your emails. Um, hopefully, we'll get to chat with some more of you guys in our DMs and our comments and and emails. So it's gonna be fun. This is just the beginning.

SPEAKER_01

Love this community.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god, we gotta go. It's time to go.

SPEAKER_03

It's time to go to sleep. All right, we'll see you guys later. Bye. Bye.