Mama's Still Got It

The Hoovers spill on how their social life has changed since raising toddler and life hacks on self care.

#HelloHoovers #WLW #BrookeEden #Hilaryhoover #Relationships #lgbtq

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Hello Hoovers is a refreshingly candid new podcast from country artist Brooke Eden and her wife, Hilary Hoover, a powerhouse couple whose love story has quietly reshaped what authenticity looks like in country music and beyond.

Brooke is known for her commanding vocals, fearless honesty, and groundbreaking visibility as one of the first openly queer women in mainstream country music. Hilary is a former country radio executive turned real estate investor and LGBTQ family advocate. She brings the kind of calm wit and lived experience of someone who is both behind the scenes and in the spotlight.

Together, they take listeners on wild ride navigating marriage, music, motherhood, and modern queer life in Nashville with the same warmth and humor that made fans fall in love with them in the first place. No topic is off limits —from coming out in a conservative industry to balancing career and parenthood, no conversation is too real, too funny, or too tender to share.

Hello Hoovers - New Episodes every week. 

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https://www.hellohoovers.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey y'all, I'm Brooke. I'm Hillary. And we're the Hoobers. She's a singer. She's an entrepreneur. We're wives. We're moms. And a whole lot of other things. And this is Hello Hoobers. Well, hello. Hello. Okay, so. We did not get ready together this morning.

SPEAKER_01 0:19

We're in matching outfits. I'm so embarrassed. Okay. So Brooke was at a cow gays interview and event, and you guys did some content, and I didn't know what you went in, or either that or I wasn't paying attention. That we we saw each other. You kissed me goodbye. No, I wasn't paying attention. And then I get ready.

SPEAKER_00 0:38

This is shocking, Hillary not paying attention to what I'm wearing. I know.

SPEAKER_01 0:41

So then I get ready and I'm like, I'm gonna throw on these just like kind of like flue pants. Yeah, and this white shirt. But they're not the same. But Brooke walks in the door, and I'm like, I'm like, this is what I'm wearing to the rest of the day, and to do the podcast. And you walk in the door, and I'm like, oh my gosh. And my first thought was, I need to change. And then my second thought was like, you know what, this is just how it is.

SPEAKER_00 1:05

It's literally so lesbian. I know. Actually, I think it's just like couples in general. Like couples in general start to just like think like each other. And so all of a sudden, like you walk out, like you're getting dressed, and kind of like we were this morning, we're like, we're just like kind of passing ships, like you're making breakfast, I'm getting ready, whatever it is. You have Beckham, somebody has a kid, like something's going on, and you're just not fully like zoned into what the other one's doing. And then you walk out and you are wearing the same thing or like the same coordination or whatever, and you're like, cool, let's go take Christmas pictures.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

I think that I think that the straights do it sometimes, but I definitely think it's more often in gay and lesbian relationships. And I don't know why, but I I've seen it like on social media too. Like I've seen, especially with guys, like, think about it. Like a lot of them have like kind of like a uniform, yeah. And they like kind of wear the same few color shirts and the same few colors.

SPEAKER_00 2:00

Yeah, and a lot of them will like oh, I've seen so many videos of like the gay men couples that I'm like, wait, which one is which one is which? Like it is such a thing, and I do think again, that is the same for like all couples, but who has not seen the lesbian couple on Instagram that they look like they're sisters? And that is the problem with this community when people come to you and they're like, Are you guys sisters? And you're like, No, we're wives. You look like twins, right? Right, right.

SPEAKER_01 2:32

We've seen that a lot with like male couples too. Like, I don't know what it is, I don't know why it's such a thing. But you have you seen the are you talking about the Instagram where they say, Oh, you're that's a specific couple.

SPEAKER_00 2:42

I'm just talking about in general, like there's so many couples.

SPEAKER_01 2:45

You know, there's an the Instagram account called siblings are dating, and they put the pictures up because it's so true. Because and they put the pictures up, and you have to vote on what you think, and then on the next post they reveal whether their sisters or the sisters or brothers or siblings are dating, and like it just proves how often that you accidentally date people or marry people that you look like, which I don't think we didn't, I don't feel like we did at all.

SPEAKER_00 3:11

I don't think we did at all either. However, I think that people like I think your sister and I get like mistaken a lot, not for each other, but uh get mistaken a lot for sisters. Yeah, like a lot of times people will be like, Oh, are you guys sisters? Right, which is especially her her daughter looks so much like her daughter.

SPEAKER_01 3:30

My sister's daughter is Brooke's twin.

SPEAKER_00 3:33

We took the girls, Hill and I took the girls to go get uh their nails done last week, and the little five-year-old Harper is truly my mini me and identical. Yes, and all the girls in the salon were like, Oh my gosh, your daughter looks just like you. And I was like, Oh, she's actually my niece, and we're not blood related. And they're like, niece.

SPEAKER_01 3:55

Right, and when you say niece, they're gonna assume that you mean like your sister's daughter. Yeah, it's like, no, actually, this child is identical to me, and I have absolutely no like blood relation to each other, but yeah, I mean, us looking like it's just like sadly somewhat par for the course. So here we are. It was on accident, and also we didn't realize this, but Beckham is dressed pretty close to us, too.

SPEAKER_00 4:16

He also has blue pants and a gray shirt on.

SPEAKER_01 4:18

Yeah, well, we took a picture, so we'll have to just showcase that. But yes, um let's talk about the fact that our son, um, this is not gonna be like all about, you know, just our son being crazy, but uh this is this episode is Mama's still got it, honey. Right. But I'm saying that like we just have to start with the fact that he's a menace.

SPEAKER_00 4:38

He's a menace right now. I will say this. We were the moms that were like, okay, if he wakes up in the middle of the night, like we're gonna go, we're gonna give him a bottle. Oh my gosh. We've recently stopped doing that because he was supposed to sleep through the night like a long time ago 12 months ago or something. And he's finally now sleeping through the night. Yeah. Like which is amazing. 8:30 to 8:30. We are literally getting like nine hours of sleep a night. It's been life-changing. Yes. And then he's also been contact nap boy for a while, like his entire life. He just wants to sleep in one of our nooks at nap time. And I was gone one day, and I came home, and Hillary was in the barn and Beckham was nowhere to be seen. And I was like, Where is our son? And she was like, Oh, he's in his crib napping.

SPEAKER_01 5:26

Two hours, like a full two hours. And like to some parents, they might be like, Okay, well, yeah, that's normal. That should have happened a long time ago. But for our household, that's a really big deal to have. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, 17 months sleeps through the night and two-hour nap in his crib a day, just like pretty much no protesting.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

Yes, like really just goes down, like, oh yeah, I am tired. Your mom called me today. We're just like chit-chatting. She's like, Where's my baby? And I was like, He's asleep in his crib and he does this every day now for two hours. And she was like, Yeah. And I was like, Why did you not haze us into putting our baby in a crib so that we had two extra hours of sleep? To be fair, of like two extra hours for us to do things.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

To be fair, she mentioned it a handful of times, but I think she was trying really hard to like not be like, This is what you should be doing.

SPEAKER_00 6:17

Well, she did say, she's like, Well, I didn't want to make you do anything, like I didn't want to like force it upon you. Okay, I did think that you would just have some more time.

SPEAKER_01 6:26

Yeah, that's a that's I mean, she's really sweet with the grandparenting because she a few different times has been like one time when she was babysitting, she did it, and she's like, I just wanted to see if he would do it, and then maybe that you guys would get an hour or two in the middle of the day. And I remember being like, That's great, he just won't do it. And then I've heard her mention it a few other times, but like very like sweetly and subtly, and then it's almost like we had to like learn it on our own, and then now we know.

SPEAKER_00 6:49

Oh, yeah, having to learn things the hard way. How new!

SPEAKER_01 6:54

But I at the same time that he's giving us a lot more sleep, he's also becoming a wild child. And I've heard this thing where like we have our newborn, and newborns can be hard, and then you think about toddler ages, which is like terrible twos and terrible threes. And like I had heard those like um like reputations for those ages, but one to two has not been talked about enough that they are little gremlins that like run through your house and throw things, but you can't like fully communicate with them yet. It is the wild, wild west over here. Oh my gosh, giving us the gift of sleep, and um, during the day we're chasing a drunk gremlin around our house.

SPEAKER_00 7:31

His favorite word right now is no. Yeah, and it's not like no, it's like no. Oh, that was a good impression, right? That was good, and like it's like a whole face, like pouty face, or it's no, no, no, no, like chanting the word no. So that's the stage that we're in right now, and we are fighting for our lives. Yes, we are truly like, I always like I kind of felt in the beginning, and maybe this is because Beckham has two moms, right? But I kind of felt in the beginning like, you guys, this is not that hard.

SPEAKER_01 8:03

People are gonna murder you. I'm wrong for that.

SPEAKER_00 8:06

So very wrong. Like I said, there's two of us, and we also work from home.

SPEAKER_01 8:10

I also think that you look back on every age as like when you're in it, you're always fighting for your life. And then when you're away from it, you're always like, oh, that was the perfect age. That was a lovely age. Like, we weren't sleeping anyway.

SPEAKER_00 8:22

No, I didn't feel like I was surviving, or I didn't feel like I was fighting for my life until he was 12 months old. Yeah. And then I was like, this is really hard. Like 10 months is like the golden age.

SPEAKER_01 8:36

I always said that the babies don't scare me, the toddlers do. I've always said that. Because I've always been like a baby, like, even if they're hard, they're like angelic and like so sweet. But like when a kid is like going against every single thing that you're doing, I just knew that I would be like, Well, it's hard because he has so many opinions, but he can't tell us.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

The only thing he's really good at signing, we taught him more and we taught him all done. So sometimes he'll just come up to us and like sign more, more, more, more, more, and we're like, more what, baby? And we're like bringing him to his water, bringing him to a snack choice, like bringing him outside.

SPEAKER_01 9:12

Well, we were the other night, we were at our best friend Ford's house, and he was like like kind of throwing him around, like playing, playing with him. And then Beckham was just signing, like, more, more, more. And Ford looks at us and is like, more, more what? And I'm like, I think more of just what you were just doing. So yeah, that's we're fighting for our lives here. But I do want you to talk about what it's like being an artist. Like, because we've talked about being moms and all that, but like we haven't really dug into like what you're like, what's changed for you musically, like what daily looks like, what it's like being a working mom. Just I want you to expand on that.

SPEAKER_00 9:49

Yeah, I mean, obviously, so much has changed when it comes to just like time, you know, like the the time that it takes to write a song and do content and do interviews and do podcasts and like all the things, those are usually that's time, you know, away from Beckham. And it's like this is my dream. And I think that it's kind of like, can you have it all?

SPEAKER_01 10:14

You know, and I think I'm a age-old question.

SPEAKER_00 10:17

Yeah. And like I want our babies to grow up in a household where they see their mom is working. Like, I want them to know that everything that like we have and like all the experiences that we get to have are because we've worked hard, you know, to get them. And I want him to see that. And I think that what's so interesting is like when I get a show booked now, my immediate reaction is like, oh, I'm so excited. Like, and then I'm like texting anybody in that city. And then my next thought is literally like, okay, we have to plan back up now. Yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_01 10:55

Well, and we also have to talk about because obviously I'm your tour manager, but that is a privilege. Like, that's not something we can necessarily plan for forever. It's not necessarily like I'm gonna be gone and you're gonna be gone. It's kind of like, can I do this one? Can I go to this one? And if so, what's going on with our kid? Like each and every show. Yeah. And so it's strange. And I think some people are like, how do you guys do it? And the answer is like, we don't know. It's just literally one show at a time. Where is it? How long are we gonna be gone? Is it anywhere near where we have family or somebody to help with Beckham? You know, so there's that.

SPEAKER_00 11:30

Can we like fly a grandma or a papa or a gunkle or an auntie like with us to where we're going so that they can take care of Beckham while each of us are working? Or like, is there too many logistics involved? And is it easier for him to just be home with an auntie or a grandma or a papa or a gunkie?

SPEAKER_01 11:52

What about the like mental part of it though? Because like obviously the logistical part we do together, but the mental part I feel like has changed for you as well.

SPEAKER_00 12:00

Yeah, I mean, the mental part of it is very like, you know, I want to be like a very involved mom, but also I want to continue making my dreams come true and like have Beckham watch his mom do what she loves to do, you know? And so there's always this kind of like uh like trapeze that I'm playing with, you know, where I'm like, okay, I feel like this is a comfortable amount of time for me to be gone from him and be able to do, you know, all the work that I need to do. And then this is like the balance on the other side where I'm like, okay, I feel like it's important for me to be home for these things. Right. And it's also, you know, when you have a baby, it's just like very normal and natural to like put your baby's needs first. So especially for moms. Especially for moms. And so, like, a lot of times, I mean, I have my vanity that you got me for Father's Day, which is hilarious. And I will sit there and I'll do my makeup with Beckham on my lap. And, you know, he's like taking my brushes and he's like, ha, like he, I have a drawer of lip liners that he like throws on the ground at any point. And a drawer of lip liners. Look at you. Yes. And it's literally that's so funny. It's in your bathroom and you don't even know.

SPEAKER_01 13:28

No, I'm laughing that you say I have a drawer of lip liners.

SPEAKER_00 13:31

Lip liners, lip glosses, lip stuff. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 13:35

Like I would think like you have a lip liner and you have a lipstick, but you're like, oh, I have a drawer of lip liners that he throws around.

SPEAKER_00 13:41

Yes. I mean totally normal.

SPEAKER_01 13:43

Totally normal.

SPEAKER_00 13:44

Listen, I'm a girl and sometimes you don't understand that.

SPEAKER_01 13:48

And sometimes a girl has a an entire drawer of lip liner.

SPEAKER_00 13:51

Yeah, sometimes, sometimes she does. Moving on. But with that being said, like there is just like, you know, I may have gone to get a facial way more than I do now that we have a baby, like or a massage, or like just more like self-care.

SPEAKER_01 14:11

Well, you also have me who works as well. And so it's it's funny because I feel like I used to be like, go have fun, cool, see you later. And now I'm like, hey, like I when I'm home, like I cannot do anything with him here. So like my whole work and everything goes on pause. Like it's very important to me that I'm present with him when I'm like one-on-one with him. And so anything that's on my to-do list is on pause, like when you go off and work. And so, like, sometimes you'll get texts from me that you never would have gotten pre-baby that are like, hey, have you wrapped up work yet? Like, are you kikiing? Are you like, which you're allowed to do? But also, like today, if it like hits sometimes, if it hits like three or four hours and I'm like, hey, FYI, like I haven't showered and I have a to-do list and I'm trying to clean the pool. Like, okay, today's a day where like if you're just kikiing at this point, like mama needs you home. And like, that's just stuff that I never used to do. I used to be like, see it later.

SPEAKER_00 15:11

Or like today we were celebrating something earlier with the cow gays, and Adam was like, Oh my gosh, we're going out after this, right? And I was like, Babe, I gotta go record a podcast. And also, like, do you think we gotta did you think we gotta sitter? Who is who's like our magical like babysitter nanny?

SPEAKER_01 15:31

Like, we have to plan that in advance.

SPEAKER_00 15:33

Yes, I need like a babysitter fairy.

SPEAKER_01 15:35

Yeah. I'm not saying we don't have access to help, but there's this insinuation that like the hangs are open-ended, you know? Yeah, it's not necessarily that we don't have people that help us with Beckham if we want to go out, it's just that like that needs to be planned in advance. Like, we can't be just like chilling and then be like, oh, we're gonna go bar hop after this. Like, that's just not where we are.

SPEAKER_00 15:54

Well, and we have plans on Friday. Yeah. So usually it's like we pick a day during the week where we can have a babysitter and we go out and do a thing.

SPEAKER_01 16:03

Usually it's like once a month. Like, this is not something we're like multiple times a week that we're like grabbing a sitter.

SPEAKER_00 16:10

And that's the thing with our group of friends, we really do have like such a amazing group of friends that love Beckham and they like love to be a part of his life and like get in and be auntie and be gunky or unky and like you know, they love that they have like this bond with him. Um, so he kind of gets like integrated into the friend group. You know, we do a lot of house hangs and stuff, and it's not like we're like partying all the time, like we're kind of past that in our life. But it there are times when our friends want to party and like we would party, but we like have a baby. Yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_01 16:46

I also think something that even some of our closest people probably wouldn't know is like I used to go to a lot more things, but and you could argue, like, okay, so Hillary goes to half the things and Britt goes to half the things, but a large majority of our things involve music or involve your career. So, like you will be going to something like uh, like let's say you're um doing a like jumping in on a song for like an artist's show that we like love or whatever, and all of our friends are there, you go and because you have to go because you're the one jumping on the song, but then you'll go and hang for a few hours after, which again you're allowed to do, but then I get jealous because I'm like the FOMO. Well, because I'm like over here, like we most other people, right? Most other couples would be like, all right, honey, you take Friday night, I'll take Saturday night, and I can go out with my people, and Saturday, you'll go out with your people. Well, our people are your work people, like it's the Cowgays, it's our friend group. And so a lot of times you'll be like, Oh yeah, I sang at eight, but like you didn't get home till like 11:30 or something. And I'll be like, Oh, like I would have loved to have gone, but like I can't because you needed to be there at eight, but then you're like, whatever. I I saw this person and I saw that person, and we sang and we did this, and then we ended up having a few drinks, and I'm like totally have gotten into this place where like my FOMO hits because I'm like, Well, I would have loved to go to that. Like, I'm I haven't kikied once since Beckham's been born. You know what I mean? Like, hello, Ivy.

SPEAKER_00 18:08

No, it's a dog party. This is our friend Ford's dog. Yeah, we got two dogs now. This is not our dog. Somebody asked that on a podcast in the past. I'm like, oh yeah, we don't have to. Might as well be. It's okay. Yes, she comes and hangs out a lot. Um, but yeah, I mean, and I feel bad too. And not only do I feel bad, but like I want you to be there. I know. You know, I think that's the hard part.

SPEAKER_01 18:30

Like you joked, like, you joked, like, oh, do I not get to kiki anymore? And I'm like, well, I don't. Well, you just have to make plans. No, no, no. Like, I'm doing plans. I'm saying Kiki, like, after like you get to like do your work and then kiki.

SPEAKER_00 18:45

I mean, make plans. What do you mean? I don't know. I'm just saying, like, you're allowed to like make plans with our friends and be like, hey, you have Beckham tonight. Or also, if we're doing something, yes.

SPEAKER_01 18:58

I do not. Yes. Also, I okay, I want this to go on record that Brooke just said, I can make plans. Yeah. And say you and Beckham are staying home tonight and I'm going out with our friends. If you want to, yeah. Guys, there's no way.

SPEAKER_00 19:13

Okay, but also, like, if there's there are things that you want to come to that are like at night, we can get a babysitter. We can do that. Okay. Yeah. I think sometimes you don't realize that you're gonna have FOMO until I come home and I'm like, that was so fun.

SPEAKER_01 19:29

And then you're like, Well, I don't have FOMO because you're like, I gotta go do this work thing. And then you come back later, like, oh I had some drinks and I saw some friends and I had so much fun.

SPEAKER_00 19:38

And then I'm like, oh, I thought it was like a lot of things. I actually never drink because if I'm going out, I'm driving. So I usually don't drink when I'm doing those things unless I specifically Uber, which I haven't done that. So Or you have a D D come pick you up. Yeah, who? No. But here's the thing I miss going out with you. I miss like being able to go out and kiki with our people on a whim, but like that's just not our life anymore. So, like, if we want to do that, like we're doing on Friday, we just have to get a babysitter, and that just is what it is. But all that to say, like, I understand the FOMO. I also would love for you to be there. Everyone would love for you to be there. Also, it's annoying because every time I go out without you, everyone's just like, where's Hillary?

SPEAKER_01 20:26

It just would be a lot easier for me if your work was not with all of our besties. Because if you were going to do work, I'd be like, cool, see you later. But I know that I'm like, oh, there's like so much fun happening in between the work. The problem is that my work is fun. I know.

SPEAKER_00 20:42

That is the problem.

SPEAKER_01 20:43

That's what you did right in life is pick work that's really fun.

SPEAKER_00 20:46

Yes. And so at the end of the day, if I'm working, I'm funny.

SPEAKER_01 20:52

Yeah, I know. That's the problem.

SPEAKER_00 20:54

It's a problem for who?

SPEAKER_01 20:56

Especially when you're such a brat. Especially when you'll call me after and be like, hey, and then the first thing that you hear is like, and it's like Beckham tantruming in the background. And you're calling to be like, Hey, how's everything going? And then you hear a screaming child behind me, and you're like, Oh, okay, um, on my way, headed to you soon. And I'm like, Yeah, uh-huh. Sounds good. Then a thing. How about writing songs? Do you feel like that's been different since you've had a kid? Like you're what you write about or how you write?

SPEAKER_00 21:31

Um, I think that there's obviously like a different perspective as a mom, but I also feel like I've always been like a mama bear. Even like before I was a mom, I was I've always been like a mama bear. So I've always kind of like written from that same perspective. But again, it's really just like a time thing. Like I used to like Kiki at the beginning of my writes, like longer, and now I'm like, okay, let's write the song today. You know, like I'm a little More like business. Yeah. But I still like to have fun. Like that's part of our job.

SPEAKER_01 22:04

Is like But do you feel like what you're writing about? Like, do you feel like you can't write about certain things? Do you feel like you can't say certain things? You don't feel like your writing has changed at all.

SPEAKER_00 22:13

No, and I think that that is what I love about like being a mom in today's generation. Is like you can still do all the things that you wanted to do, but it it is limited. Like, like we said, we're not being able to like go out on a whim and like party with our friends. However, we can plan it out where we can still party with our friends. Right, right. I'm never gonna say no to a gig because Beckham can't come. We just have to figure it out. It's all like for a dandelion sunflower like I am. I it is hard for me to plan constantly, but it's probably good for me because I am such a like, oh, you want to go and do that? Cool, let's chase that butterfly.

SPEAKER_01 22:58

Well, I would love to, yeah. I mean, that's the ideal situation. I'm like, I would love to be a what do you say, dandelion butterfly? Something like that. Something like that. I would love to be a dandelion butterfly, but that's just like not the reality anymore.

SPEAKER_00 23:12

Yeah. I think that also, like on the days that I'm not working, I'm usually like makeupless, like underwearless, brahless, like probably in a robe at 5 p.m. And I get uh like I'm not gonna lie, last week I felt so drab, like girl, when was the last time that you like took care of yourself? Like when was the last time you put on mascara, sis? Like, I'm like looking in in the mirror, like, ooh, girl, like you can tell that you have not been self-caring. Like it shows. And y'all, I went and just like got my hair done, which I hadn't got done in five months, which is a long time for a blonde. And I literally walked out. I like got a little bit of like layers, like some angles in my hair. And y'all, I walked out of there like, let's go, girls. Like, I like felt so much better just to like have my hair dyed. And I'm like, oh my gosh, that is such a like life hack for moms, is like just give yourself a little bit of self-care, and it like refuels you to like be a good mom and also like just not hate yourself.

SPEAKER_01 24:28

So it's funny that you say that because Heather McMahon, I think she has them pinned at the top of her Instagram, but she has like a little spiel, and she's not a mom yet, but she has this thing about she's like, you're allowed to like be a slob and you're allowed to just like sit at home or like just like not take care of yourself for a few days. But she's like, sometimes, like if you wake up and you're like in a bad mood or you're like just not wanting, or like you have like work things that you need to get to and you're just not feeling it, she's always like, just like take a good shower, like do your makeup. Well, her whole thing is like, she'll be like, go get like like book a dinner that night and like get done up. And then she like has a whole order of like the drinks that you order. She's like, okay, first you do the espresso martini, and then you do, she's got a whole thing and it makes me laugh because I'm like, she's kind of right though. Like, if you're kind of just like off for a few days and you like book a nice dinner and you like get dressed up, you can all of a sudden be like, I got this and I'm honest and let's go. And I'm like, there is something to like getting dressed up and just like once like just being like, let's go out, you know.

SPEAKER_00 25:28

Well, I think that's something that like our parents' generation has like really honed in on. Like my mom, for example, will not go to the grocery store without a full face of makeup on. Like, my mom doesn't like have it picked out, like she's not wearing sweats. No. My mom doesn't have like a like a daytime makeup and like a party makeup, like it's just always like mom blend.

SPEAKER_01 25:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:53

And so, like, sometimes she'll be like, oh my gosh, you like I'll FaceTime her in the morning with Beckham and she'll be like, oh my gosh, I haven't had a chance to put my face on yet. And I'm like, mom, you're my mom. Like to FaceTime. You don't need to FaceTime me with makeup on. I know what you look like. I know what you look like. Also, I have your face. Like, I look at your face every day in the mirror. And it's funny because I think that in my mom's head, she's like, Yes, I could go to the grocery store with nothing on, but I'm gonna feel so much better if I go to the grocery store looking good. That's definitely a generational thing for sure. I mean, Sal would do the same thing. Your mom. Yeah. I mean, she's not as much, but she's not gonna go to the store without makeup on. She's just not. True. And I do think that that is such a thing. Like our generation, especially after the pandemic, was very like sweats. I don't need makeup, I don't need my hair done, like da-da-da-da. Like that is like kind of like, you know, the epitome of like having a self-care day is not doing any of those things.

SPEAKER_01 26:55

Right. And I feel like that was kind of like the point of the Heather McMahon thing is that she's like, you can, I'm not telling you not to be a slob, but like sometimes if you just need a moment where you feel better, just like get done up and go out to dinner. And it's true.

SPEAKER_00 27:07

I think it's like a consecutive thing. Like if you haven't put makeup on in like four days, for me, is like that's when I snap. Like, that's when I start like itching. I'm like, oh my, oh my gosh, I need to do something.

SPEAKER_01 27:20

I need to like look nice. Like, I hate to go on a feminist rant here for a second, but like to me, it is so wild that like like think about the fact that like we have to do that, but like men don't have to like put on a face of makeup to feel like but to go in public, we're well men might feel better if they could put makeup on their face too. Look at Adam Mack. I'm saying that if you go to the grocery store, yeah, and you see a man that's not wearing makeup, you're like, that's a man. And if you see a woman that's not wearing makeup, you're like, that's a woman without makeup.

SPEAKER_00 27:52

I would never judge.

SPEAKER_01 27:53

Most most people, especially we're talking about our mom's generation, would judge. Most people would be able to tell the difference if somebody was done up for the day or not done up for the day. And a man walks in and he's done up for the day or not. Do you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_00 28:07

I don't know. I think that the thing with men is like their beard, their facial hair, like they're upset when they walk. I'm saying that men don't have to get right. But I'm saying, like, with their beard and their like their beard, their facial hair, like the way they style their hair, that's their makeup. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 28:24

But that doesn't, that doesn't take much time.

SPEAKER_00 28:26

Sure, but like you can tell if someone, if a man has like put himself together that's that morning or not. I think. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 28:32

I just think it, I just think that women get judged a lot more if they show up without makeup and men don't have to. That's all I was saying.

SPEAKER_00 28:38

Yeah, sure. But like, all I'm talking, I'm not even talking about them. I'm talking about how makeup makes you feel as a person. And I think that that's something that we talk about sometimes too. It's like, you're like, I don't care about new clothes. Like, that's not something I care about. And I'm like, it is not for other people. I get new clothes so that I feel confident. Because also being moms, like we are home a lot and we do our work from our phone. So, like a lot of times we are, you know, in sweats, feeling like a slob, you know, doing our thing throughout the day. And just to put on like a nice curated outfit that like is like a new set and it's like fresh, and you like put a little bit of makeup on, it does kind of like bring you out and go like, oh, I feel good today. Like I can be like a better person. I can be a better wife, I can be a better mom. I can be a better friend, I can be a better daughter, I can be a better, you know what I mean? Because you're like, I feel good, like I feel confident, and I don't, I don't do it for an anybody else. I do it so that I can feel like I'm me right now. And literally fuck what other people think.

SPEAKER_01 29:47

Right. It's just that we are expected as women to and like as mother, it's the whole can they do it all? Like it's the expectation that like you have to like do you have time in the day to be a good mom, be a good wife, get yourself together physically, take care of yourself, and also do a full-time job that makes money for your family. No, that's a lot of expectations to put on one person. Men are expected to show up, not put on a face of makeup, grab whatever's in their closet because uniform and usually expected to work, but aren't expected to be like over the top spectacular dads. It's just there's just more on our list.

SPEAKER_00 30:32

I could not agree with you more. I'm just saying that for me, it's fuck everybody else. It's not about what other people think. It's literally like my own confidence of like showing up in like an outfit that feels like me in the confidence of this is who I am. I also saw this quote the other day on Instagram and it's like stuck with me so much, but it was like your child's childhood will be as good as your motherhood. Right. Like, if you are having fun being a mom, your kid is gonna have fun being a kid.

SPEAKER_01 31:07

I do feel like our algorithms are a lot of motherhood and a lot of babies, and I do feel like that has been a thing lately where it's like, yes, like do this for your kid and do that for your kid, but also like sometimes I have to remind myself, like, if Bex is happy, like I can go do me for a little bit. And like I'm obviously within sight of him. I'm not saying like leave him and go, you know, to another room or whatever, but like I don't always have to like I used to think like I always have to have the rec next activity ready or the next entertainment ready. And it's like, oh wait, I'm gonna go like grab some makeup and like put it on in this mirror right here, or like I'm gonna go like put a few things away or just like make the house feel better or something because he's happy, so I need to be happy, you know. Yeah, like I need to like take this time to take care of myself.

SPEAKER_00 31:51

Yeah, and and I like I think that's like so something that like I'm better. I'm better at self-care than you are. Like in general, I will like do my face, you know, my skincare.

SPEAKER_01 32:06

You're better at being like, hey, I'm gonna go do Pilates, hey, I'm gonna go do a facial. And like sometimes I'm like, oh, we can do that. You know what I mean? Like sometimes I'm like, oh, I can go book like a hair appointment for myself. Like sounds cool.

SPEAKER_00 32:20

When you say, like, oh, I'm gonna go do a massage, I'm like, yes, baby. And you're like, but you like kind of say it like, so I was thinking I would go do a massage, and I'm like, is there anything on my calendar at that time? And you're like, no, I checked your calendar. I'm like, go, baby, go.

SPEAKER_01 32:34

I know, but I it's still like like I still have a hard time putting myself first. Fully don't. I fully don't every single day. No, you don't I get to the end of the day and I realize that I didn't put myself first, or not even first, I didn't put myself on the list the whole day. And that's totally something that I'm struggling with. Is like like you want other people to take care of you, but you have to take care of yourself too, you know? Yes, and that's what I struggle with a lot is that I'm a year and a half in and I'm still like like, oh wait, I exist, you know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:02

How do we how do we pull you out of that?

SPEAKER_01 33:04

No, no, no. Still working on it.

SPEAKER_00 33:07

I think that like getting out and going to the gym would help a lot. Yeah, totally.

SPEAKER_01 33:11

Because I I enjoyed it a lot before. Yeah. Um, okay, so as we like, we are not announcing a pregnancy, nothing like that, but as we prepare for like having a conversation about having a second kid, like how do you feel about that with your work and your life schedule and trying to like mama having it all?

SPEAKER_00 33:34

Yeah, mama still got it. Someone said recently that one baby is an accessory, two is a lifestyle. Yeah, things don't change. I already thought that we were living the lifestyle. Yeah. So the fact that uh it's just an accessory, like Beckham is just an accessory right now, one baby's an accessory, that feels a little scary because I'm like, whoa, that's crazy. However, I'll always go back to the fact that there are two moms. Yeah. And I'm not saying that dads aren't as equal parents as moms. They absolutely can be.

SPEAKER_01 34:10

And some are like at home dads, but just that natural maternal instinct and just kind of the way that our brains work definitely feel like they're on the same page as being a mom. Yeah. Okay. To wrap up this episode. True or false? Moms can have it all.

SPEAKER_00 34:29

Ooh. Oh shit. I do think it's true, but I do think that that is not taking away from the fact that there are sacrifices. I think that you can have a stellar job and be a stellar mom and a stellar wife. Why am I using the word stellar? I don't know. But like, and you know, keep on reaching for your goals, but that's not without sacrifice. Like, you're never gonna probably like I'm not gonna be able to put as much time into being a good mom because I'm being an artist. I'm not gonna be as good of, not that I'm not as good of an artist, but I'm not gonna be able to put in the time that it's taking maybe the mental space for it as much as I used to.

SPEAKER_01 35:22

Because you're still doing you. I mean, you're still fully doing it, but it's more just in like a mental space.

SPEAKER_00 35:27

But I think that it's like, it's like a restructure of your brain, you know, like you, I'm now um prioritizing time and energy and where I focus that more than I used to. And I used to like kiki a little bit more in times when I was out, you know, out and about and like making music and like whatever. I'm not going to happy hours with people in the music industry anymore. I'm not like going to shows unless it's like my best friend's shows in Nashville anymore. Because like that is time that I'm probably we're probably putting Beckham to sleep, you know, or you know, having time for the two of us. Yeah. And I think that what do you think, babe? True or false? Women can have it all.

SPEAKER_01 36:11

Well, my biggest thought that came to mind when I was thinking about this question is yes, but, and my butt is a little bit different than yours because yes, I agree on the sacrifices, but for me, it's more about the planning. Like I'm like, yes, but like purge your house to make everything a little bit easier on yourself so that you're not spending as much time doing that. Outsource things. If you are working, hopefully then you have some space in your budget to outsource either some some like laundry or a housekeeper or obviously some childcare. To me, like yes, but plan, outsource, and pivot, pivot, pivot. Like every few weeks, I feel like we're pivoting, changing our schedule, changing our priorities, changing our whatever it is that we realize that we need to shift in order to feel like we're checking all the boxes. So that to me is it's about constantly being ready to shift to make sure you're making space for things and outsource if you can. I mean, try to find space in your budget, even if it's like cutting a night out or whatever, like find space in your budget to like take some things off of your plate so that you can enjoy motherhood, so that you can enjoy working. I think you can, but don't expect it to just like happen. You have to really work in order to get to that.

SPEAKER_00 37:27

That's such a good point. And to all the mamas out there who are like feeling like it's really, really hard. You are absolutely not alone. We're all going through the like we're surviving and we're trying to keep our babies happy and alive. And like at the end of the day, if you can take some time for yourself, you full fueling yourself makes you a better mama.

SPEAKER_02 37:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:50

So enjoy motherhood and your babies will enjoy childhood. And like, I do think that's something that like I always try to remember on hard days is like if I'm having fun, he's having fun, you know. So, like, if I need to like take a step away so that I can like refuel, that's the best for everybody.

SPEAKER_01 38:08

To bring your best self to our little menace. Yes, yeah. But I think um I think mama still got it, you know. We're just trying to just trying. Just trying. Mama still got it. I mean, there's definitely an Instagram versus reality on the the perfect child, perfect marriage, perfect work life balance. So yeah, we're all just getting by, but yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:31

Mama still got it, you still got it. We'll see you next week.