Am I Still Your God?

Comforting words mean the world to us, especially when we need to hear them. But, what if God doesn’t offer comforting words  but a soul searching question.  “Am I Still Your God?” 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hey friends, thanks for tuning in to Unfiltered with Jessie B. I mentioned a few episodes back that I had woken up to a Kathy Tricoli song just out of the blue that I haven't heard in years, and it was titled Parade. And that also prompted me to do a bit of research on her. The Holy Spirit often speaks to me through music, and the fact that this song was brought to mind after so many years on this particular week of all weeks was no exception, and I will share a bit more on that later. In my research on Kathy Tricoli, I noticed that she has written several books, and one in particular caught my attention, detailing some of her personal struggles and things that God has taught her through suffering. This particular book is titled Am I Not Still God? And I highly recommend this book, and I found it on Amazon. The question, Am I not still God, is a stop you in your track sort of question. She outlined how she heard this very question from God while she was in the hospital chapel after learning some rather distressing news about her mother's health. Through the tears, anger, and emotional breakdowns, she said, It would have been great to hear comforting words from God such as, I love you and everything's gonna be okay. Your mother will be healed and everything's gonna work out the way you want it to. And we can all relate to this. What were the things that you might have wanted to hear from God during a crisis point in your life and didn't? Now certainly there may be times where God comforts in that way, and it could be through a change in thought or a peace that's just unexplainable that comes over you. Maybe it's the Holy Spirit when the Holy Spirit brings Scripture to mind. And then there are times when he comforts with silence, perhaps for the reason to search our own hearts and motives while we seek Him out through prayer and Scripture. Or, as we have seen throughout the Bible, God will in turn ask us questions that can be summed up in, Am I not still God? As Kathy said, that he asked of her when she was in that hospital chapel. She related this and the story of her road manager to the study of Job. And I do agree with her that the book of Job is not a particular book of the Bible that people want to study. It's not very popular because we don't want to think that God Almighty would allow his children to suffer as Job did. In fact, I'm reminded of the verse or the question that Satan asks, have you considered your servant Job? Now, what would happen to us if he said, Would you consider your servant Jesse? or insert your own name into that and see how that makes you feel. We don't really like it too much. And it's true, and I mean I think that we all want to believe that Christianity always has this happy ending, or, you know, of course we know it has a happy ending, but that once we become a Christian, that it's living happily ever after until God takes us home. We like to think that our lives would look like the next new script for a Hallmark Channel series, or at the very least, a Werther's Candy Original commercial. Big beautiful houses with picturesque lawns, plenty of money in the bank account, cookout sunsets, lemonade in the summer, hot chocolate, fresh homemade comfort foods, warm blankets and jammies in the winter. We want to indulge in the simplicity and the good things, always praying for that hedge of protection to surround us from the bad things. Not only for us but for those that we love, and if that were to happen, life would be great. But what happens when life changing events strike? Is God still God? Better yet, is God still your God? You see, Job lost everything, his livelihood through theft and disaster, his children and extended family through a freak accident, his servants, his health. He lost his social standing and his reputation, his mental and emotional stability, and then his friends failed him, even accusing him of hidden sins. Even Job's own wife advised him to just curse God and die. I admit that there have been many times throughout my life that I've felt that way, and I will confess, even this week, when the job that I was sure I was going to get, which would have doubled my salary and helped me move along a lot faster with personal goals and needs, and yet there I was again, feeling like the kid who never gets picked to be on a team. Sure, I had my expressive, colorful language and insights, and those of you who know me can only imagine. I shook my fist at God in anger and in tears and asked how could he once again let me get my hopes up for something I really needed and it wasn't meant to be. And I too thought that maybe I should just curse God and die. Maybe not to that extreme, but I will confess that I did tell God I would rather die than to see another day like this. Then here comes the book, dropped off by the Amazon driver, and I had actually forgotten that I had ordered it, but I remove it from the package and there's the title, Am I Still God? And then the question brought to my spirit by the Holy Spirit, Am I still your God? Now talk about making it personal. What Job demonstrated was his devotion and faithfulness even when he had every reason to turn his back on God. He didn't. Many of us, including myself, have been ready to throw in the towel over one or two incidents. It doesn't mean that Job didn't question God, it doesn't mean that Job didn't have his opinions, thoughts, or emotions over what he was going through. But then in the last chapter, God finally responds to Job, not with comforting words, but with questions. In fact, Job thirty eight, two through three, God says to Job, Who is this that obscures my plans with words without knowledge? Brace yourself like a man, I will question you and you shall, and the word shall is a mandatory requirement, legally binding and not open for negotiation. I will question you and you shall answer me. With every question God asked, I wonder how little Job really felt. As I was reading these questions, I could feel myself shrinking smaller and smaller while God was getting bigger and bigger. Why I was allowed to interview twice for a position that I couldn't get, I have no answer other than a few days before I had prayed, Lord, if it's not meant to be, then shut the door. Make sure it's closed. And maybe that was it, maybe it's not. But why does it seem like two steps forward and one step back for everyone around me? But for me it's one step forward and two steps back. How many more friendships are going to become strained? How long will I have to work for those who barely even recognize when I'm there half the time unless I do something wrong? Or by the time things do work out, like maybe a book will get picked up by a publisher or a known artist wants to record one of my songs and send it to number one status, or I find my career niche, will I even have the sanity to recognize it in the emotional ability or stability to enjoy it? If I have learned anything from this is that suffering is not indiscriminate. After all, we are told that the rain will fall on the just and the unjust. Bad things happen to good, obedient people. Trials are not always direct punishments and gain is not always from God. Even when facing hardships as well as seasons of plenty, holding on to principles and integrity is important. God is sovereign, even when things are in complete chaos and unfair. Being able to trust God in the midst of the pain is important. God sees the entire picture. I cannot. I don't have to waste time trying to understand, and I don't have to agree or even like where I am in life, but the fact is God is still God, he is still sovereign, and this life, though it seems long, really isn't. A security guard will often ask me how I'm doing. My answer is always one more day closer to retirement or the grave. Either way, I'm at peace because God is still God. Job 13 15 says, Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him that I will maintain mine own ways before him. Thanks for listening. Love you guys.