S1E9: Parashat The 23rd

Now wait, don't melt down that menorah—or hanukkiah—too fast with your golden olive oil (definitely in a glass bottle). This week the Maccabees are bringing down the hammer on the Seleucid Empire and John Hanukkah. Step on your soapbox as we talk about holiday branding, diversity, assimilation, light vs darkness, and gold... GOLD.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hold on to your anatomically correct stuffed hearts and get ready to light the menorah. It's Parishat the 23rd this week on Jew Girl. Hello and welcome to Jew Girl, a New Girl podcast for the Jew Curious, in which I make my brother watch my favorite TV show, New Girl, for the first time and learn some stuff about Judaism. My name is Robin.

SPEAKER_03 0:34

My name is Jay. And Winston's name is not LeBron.

SPEAKER_00 0:39

Oh my god. Yes. I was like, this kid gotta put some of his uh, you know, uh, not turbine allowance.

SPEAKER_01 0:46

He's gotta put some of his allowance money into the douchebag Tedaka box for that one. Come on, kid.

SPEAKER_03 0:51

Come on, kid. That kid went on to be someone, right? Like he he's got one of those faces. I feel like he has an older child actor.

SPEAKER_01 1:00

He does have one of those faces. I Googled him. I listen, I was admittedly just Googling to see if he was Jewish. So I didn't do too much follow-up when I figured out the answer was I don't think so. Um, but I don't know. I wasn't seeing any like huge things, but he's good. I think he's really good. So I feel like I hope he went on to do many a thing after this.

SPEAKER_03 1:22

Hey, I didn't even Google him to see if he was Jewish. So I did no research on that front. I think my wife was like, oh, it's that kid.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

It's that kid. She's just seen this one episode of New Girl a million times. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:36

That's what it is.

SPEAKER_01 1:37

Well, on that note, let me do a recap. It's almost Christmas, and Jess doesn't know what to get Paul. They end up exchanging wildly mismatched gifts, and Paul ends up saying he loves her and just does not say it back. Well, well. Then they all go to work, uh, Schmidt's work Christmas party, where Schmidt is always forced to dress up as sexy Santa. But eventually, by the end of the episode, he has confronted one of his bosses about that and refuses to do that anymore. So that's good for him. Nick at the party, he accidentally spills the beans to Paul about Jess knowing she's not quite in love yet. Um, and Paul ends up dumping Jess for wanting to move slower than he does. Meanwhile, Cece's boyfriend Kyle sucks. He's really just no fun, didn't get her gift. Um, and so we really see her appreciating Schmidt and the gift that he got her, which was personalized perfume that he designed, uh, even though it smells terrible, apparently. In Winston Land over here. Winston's still bummed out about needing to get a job, but he ends up bonding with Schmidt's boss's young son at the party. And at the end of the episode, he sort of offered a babysitting job from that. And then it's two in the morning when they finally rush out of the party, trying to get Nick to the airport in time for his flight, which apparently he misses every year. But Nick sees how sad Jess is, and he detours them to the Christmas light strewn candy cane lane that Jess had really wanted to see all lit up. Unfortunately, they are too late for the lights, so the whole gang yells a lot in the street to get the houses to turn their lights back on for Jess, which they do, and it's very sweet. And Nick does miss his flight. That was this episode.

SPEAKER_03 3:24

Yeah, very sweet ending.

SPEAKER_01 3:25

Yeah, it really was. Yeah, and so speaking of sweet, let's pass around the feelings shtick. And why don't you tell me how you felt about this episode and if you have any feelings or thoughts or your favorite moments?

SPEAKER_03 3:37

You know, I think one of the things that this episode has really solidified for me is that the writers were really good about, in a short amount of time, setting up a small detail earlier that is like the emotional payoff at the end, Candy Cane Lane, in this instance, right? And it it's a lot more similar to those first few episodes, like the dinner when Jess gets stood up at the dinner, right? And they all run in and they sing that song that they teased earlier, right, because of the movie. And they did that again and again in the first few episodes, where like, you know, they cue up this little detail, and then the guys at the loft make just feel better by using that detail at the end.

SPEAKER_01 4:20

Yeah, the chicken dance.

SPEAKER_03 4:21

The chicken dance. That was another one.

SPEAKER_01 4:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:24

Which is a really good format, honestly. You know, it's it's it's good and makes me think about how I would go about structuring stuff in my own creative pursuits.

SPEAKER_01 4:35

Yeah, that's really awesome. I love that you picked up on that. That makes me appreciate that sort of format. I'm gonna watch for that going forward.

SPEAKER_03 4:43

Yeah, yeah. Other feeling shtick, you know, Nick should not have tried to comfort Paul on the balcony to begin with, is my is my opinion. That's my hot take. But I do recognize that that viewpoint that he shouldn't have tried to comfort him at all, comes from the perspective of like thinking that Nick also likes Jess, right? If I think Nick also likes Jess, he should not have gone out there. He should just be like, take the inner win that okay, Jess is now single again, right? But I guess maybe from like a regular viewer point of we don't technically know that Nick maybe has feelings for Jess, then you know, from that point of view, okay, I can see how it's just him trying to be a nice guy and and help Paul out, you know, comfort Paul. But from the perspective of thinking that Nick does like Jess, it's kind of like a jerk move that he's like even going out there to be like, oh sorry, man. Like that's not how he's doing it. But you know, like kind of a little bit like if he were on Am I the A-hole, it kind of would have been like it wasn't your place to be out there in the first place. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 5:50

Yeah, no, I can see that. But I feel like he's so wholesome in those moments too, though. I yeah, nothing seems duplicitous about it to me. So it just seems like he feels bad.

SPEAKER_03 6:00

He's I mean, he's a jerk to Paul in every other episode, so it is actually kind of out of character that he would suddenly feel for the guy, but and maybe maybe that's also informing why I think Nick just like shouldn't have gone out there at all. I don't know. But yeah, that's a good point. He was that's true.

SPEAKER_01 6:18

It's not like he has a relationship of trust with this guy to start with.

SPEAKER_03 6:22

Right, right. Anyways.

SPEAKER_01 6:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:24

Also, uh in in all caps in my notes, I wrote, so long, Justin Long.

SPEAKER_01 6:29

Oh, so Justin Long.

SPEAKER_03 6:32

Bye-bye, Paul's actor, canonical Jew of Jess's heart.

SPEAKER_01 6:35

That's right.

SPEAKER_03 6:37

How about you? What were your feelings for this episode?

SPEAKER_01 6:40

Well, you know, my feelings sort of tie into a couple of my favorite moments, if we're gonna dovetail into that. My overall feeling is that I feel like there were a lot of heartwarming, wholesome moments in this episode. And like two of my three favorite ha ha moments, I actually one of them is not even ha ha. I love at the end. It's like cheesy, but I love it when everybody turns on their lights. Like, I don't know that I loved it the first time, but as I re-watched it to draw all my connections that I'm gonna talk about later, I just kept being like, oh, this is actually kind of nice. It's kind of getting me. But the other one is, and this one is funny also, in addition to being heartwarming. In the beginning, I love that all three of them are wearing the roller skates that Jess got them, and you don't even know it at first because Nick and Schmidt are sitting at the table, and like, you know, Nick is like, guys, don't do your you're in roller skates, and then he gets up and he's also in roller skates trying to break up the whole thing. I just feel like it speaks to the whole the cute little whimsical influence that Jess is having on all of them, and and just knowing how cute it is and like trying to take a photo of them wearing their gates. It's just so wholesome. I love it so much.

SPEAKER_03 7:52

Yeah, it's a very that was a very sweet, cold open.

SPEAKER_01 7:55

And while we're here, my third funny ha ha favorite moment is when Nick is trying to cover when he's out there and has accidentally spilled the beans, and you know, I was like, what? He's like, Yeah, I know. Guess what, Paul? Don't even think right now. I'm drunk. He's just like, he's saying these nonsense. Shut up, you goofball. He's just scrambling. This whole scrambling, I think it's so funny. How about you? What were your favorite moments?

SPEAKER_03 8:20

I I mean, I really liked Nick scrambling. I also liked when Nick was on the phone with his ma, just when he was like, No, Ma, I'm not high. I'm done with that phase.

SPEAKER_01 8:30

Not high.

SPEAKER_03 8:30

Just like line to drop. I love that the door locked on Nick and forced him onto the balcony. I did not see that coming, and that was just like Chef's kiss.

SPEAKER_00 8:40

Like I was like, This is my nightmare. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:43

I loved that Schmidt said that he killed Santa as the boy walked in the room and the boy screamed and ran away. That's so good. And and on a more touching note, I really liked Winston's bond with that kid.

SPEAKER_01 8:57

I know, it's so cute, right?

SPEAKER_03 8:59

Yeah, yeah. Heartwarming.

SPEAKER_01 9:01

Very heartwarming. Speaking of that kid, I said he had uh, you know, clink, clink, clink, put his allowance money into the douchebag todako box for calling Winston LeBron. You got anything else for the douchebag todako box today?

SPEAKER_03 9:13

That was that was top of my list. I was like, wow. Winston black man joke, just calling him LeBron. The kid doesn't even know that Winston does play basketball.

SPEAKER_00 9:23

That's right.

SPEAKER_03 9:23

He doesn't even know that coincidence. That's right.

SPEAKER_00 9:26

Good point. I hadn't even thought about the basketball connection.

SPEAKER_03 9:29

Right. I suppose that on some level this is the show's revenge for Winston calling that black teenage girl WNVA.

SPEAKER_00 9:38

That's right.

SPEAKER_03 9:40

You know, earlier. So I wonder how many more jokes like that we'll get. Also, just all caps, HR with a lot of exclamation points. You know, Schmidt's work is so wild.

SPEAKER_01 9:51

We need to be the ring ring ring, HR. The number of times we call HR on this show.

SPEAKER_03 9:56

Right. HR.

SPEAKER_01 9:57

Need to start calling the HR person by name.

SPEAKER_03 9:59

Right. But also that kid just wanted to give him an honorable mention for uh for actually calling Schmidt a D bag. That's right. He's like, mommy says he's a D bag.

SPEAKER_01 10:11

True.

SPEAKER_03 10:13

And I was like, oh well, have to mention that.

SPEAKER_01 10:15

So yes. Yeah, HRHR, all around. Also, Schmidt dishing it out to Kim back to see how she likes it. It's like, oh god, the HR mess that we're getting ourselves into just on every angle. And then the only other one that I wrote down at the last minute, I was like, you know, I don't know what Schmidt would do to dress up as sexy Martin Luther King Jr., but I can't imagine it'd be great.

SPEAKER_00 10:40

They don't say, you know, nothing overtly there. Sure, sure. Too shbaggy, but one can only worry about what that might entail. But I do like he's like, I never felt like I had the authority.

SPEAKER_03 10:54

Yeah, yeah. I couldn't remember what he said.

SPEAKER_01 10:56

Well, I've only got one tiny bit of trivia this week because that kid wasn't Jewish. I guess none of the other side characters I looked up seemed to be Jewish. And of course, you'll have picked up on this as well. The song at the end, I'll Be Home for Christmas, is of course being sung by Zoe De Chanel as part of her. I guess she's got a musical singing duo in which she does the vocals called She and Him. So that's them. That's her singing at the very end when they're all lighten up Candy Cane Lane.

SPEAKER_03 11:28

I did not even pick up on that. It completely went over my head what the music was. But I have a feeling I know what I was what I was focusing on that distracted me from the music.

SPEAKER_00 11:39

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:40

Well then that ties into my Jay's Oive Edit Bay little notes. Perfect. Very small things. Just in that last scene with them going to Candy Cane Lane, I really liked the detail in that first shot as they pull up of the snowman deflating.

SPEAKER_00 11:55

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:56

Like a lawn ornament. Just to really show they did just miss all the lights turning off. And they do it again after everyone, you know, they've turned the lights on and then they turn them off again and they drive away with two more inflatable, I don't know, like elfs or something in the foreground.

SPEAKER_02 12:14

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 12:14

And I really liked that those ones were almost bowing to the car how they were deflating. The small detail, uh, they couldn't really control it that much. But uh, you know, I like to think there was some intention behind it.

SPEAKER_00 12:26

That's cool.

SPEAKER_03 12:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:28

I like it.

SPEAKER_03 12:28

I also wonder, just in that scene, like how hard it was for them to get that neighborhood. Because they have a decent number of houses and a decent number of, you know, lights and ornaments.

SPEAKER_01 12:38

That's true.

SPEAKER_03 12:39

I wonder what the production struggles were like for that.

SPEAKER_01 12:42

That's a great point. I guess I never think about like a real outdoor scene like that that involves houses and stuff. That's yeah, that must be a whole thing.

SPEAKER_03 12:54

Yeah. I guess so. I didn't look up any behind the scenes. Cool, cool, cool. There probably isn't even behind the scenes for that level of detail. You know what I mean? Like I don't think they were making a documentary about this show. The behind the scenes of New Girl. But anyways, I did not observe that song in that scene.

SPEAKER_01 13:17

And that means that it is time for the segment that we call Observant Jews, in which we two Jews are trying to observe certain other things, even if you didn't observe that song being sung by Zoe. We are trying to observe any Jewish jokes or content in the episode, and we are trying to observe the bear of the episode. So, Jay, did you find any Jewish content, perhaps, in this Christmas episode?

SPEAKER_03 13:51

Judaism, son.

SPEAKER_00 13:53

Judaism, son, this is the episode. He says it, it's that gift.

SPEAKER_03 13:59

And also, uh, when either his boss or coworker says, Santa voice, Schmidt, this isn't Temple.

SPEAKER_00 14:07

This isn't Temple, I know, right? Oh my gosh, okay, geez.

SPEAKER_01 14:13

There's also in the very beginning, um, Schmidt's complaining about hating Christmas because it always means Hanukkah's over. He really emphasizes the, I think, too. The Hanukkah's over. Which by the way is not always true. I looked it up. It's not always true. In 2024, for example, it started on Christmas. Hanukkah started on Christmas and lasted into January. So Schmidt, it doesn't always mean the Hanukkah's over. And there was another one at the very, very end when they're all hugging in Candy Cane Lane. Jess, you can hear Jess wishing Schmidt a Merry Hanukkah.

SPEAKER_03 14:46

Aww.

SPEAKER_01 14:47

She's like, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Hanukkah.

SPEAKER_03 14:50

I think that's the most Jewish jokes in one episode we've gotten. And it's the Christmas episode.

SPEAKER_01 14:56

The Christmas episode. But for us, Jay, for us, it's the Hanukkah episode here on Jew Girl.

SPEAKER_00 15:02

Just in time for St. Patrick's Day. We got the Hanukkah episode. Shout out to everyone who's listening to this nine months late. Yeah, right. Um, it's perfect timing.

SPEAKER_03 15:14

Just wait, just wait for Christmas and then listen to this episode. You can just stop listening now, come back to this one later.

SPEAKER_01 15:23

Put an alert on your calendar. Anyway, oh my gosh. What about the bear? Did you notice a bear?

SPEAKER_03 15:29

Nope. I did not. Was there one?

SPEAKER_01 15:31

Nope. Nope. I did not notice one. Uh looks like I did look this up on Reddit, and obligatory cow, the Redditor obligatory cow, tells me that Build a Bear can be glimpsed when Winston and Schmidt are going down the escalator in the mall. Count it. I did not rewatch to confirm that. They make it sound like it's very quick. Whatever. I'll take it. Bear.

SPEAKER_03 15:56

Bear. Confirm.

SPEAKER_01 15:57

Deck bear of the episode. Oh, but I'm glad we I'm glad we observed so much Jewish stuff. Let's let's get into some more Jewish stuff, shall we, with a little with a little schmidbit in this segment we call Schmidbits. We're gonna talk about a little juicy little tidbit of Jewish knowledge based on something that Schmidt, our canonical Jew of the Loft, said or did this episode. And of course, we gotta go with a ho, a menorah. Right right before he says Judaism Sun, that is the lead to the famous Judaism Sun, he says a menorah. So we are talking about menorahs today. Or if we want to be typical, we are talking about menorot because that's the plural of menorah. I can't remember if I was telling you on or off air last time, but if uh if a Hebrew word ends in ah, then to pluralize it, it becomes hot. So anyway, we're talking about menorahs. And menorah just literally means lamp in Hebrew. That's the word for lamp. We are of co of course most familiar with the Hanukkah menorah. If you would like to be fancy, again, you could use the word Hanukkiya. That is a word that specifically means the Hanukkah menorah. Now, I always thought that, like, oh, I'm so smart. I know the word, it's a Hanukkih, technically. Apparently, this is a modern word, like late 19th century. They invented this Hanukkiya word to differentiate it from well, from a couple things, I mean, from the other famous menorah, and also I guess just from the word lamp, if you're maybe you're just using the word lamp, but you want to be specific about it. So the Hanukkiya, the Hanukkah menorah, has nine branches. Of course, you know this. We grew up with menorahs. This is one thing you are familiar with, and so there's eight branches on the side and then a center one. But, and I I sort of alluded to the fact that there is another famous menorah here. We've got an ancient temple menorah. The menorah that was in the ancient temple, okay? And that one looks basically the same, except that it has seven branches total. It has six on each side.

SPEAKER_03 18:19

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 18:20

Sorry, not each side. Not each side, you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_03 18:23

Three on each side.

SPEAKER_01 18:25

Yes, yes. Yeah. The Hanukkah one has four on each side to make eight. This one has six on each side. You mean three on each side? Three on each side to make six. Yeah, I'm just all over the place. Oh my god. Anyway, the ancient temple one, six branches. We're just gonna call it six branches, and the Hanukkah one, eight.

SPEAKER_03 18:42

Okay. So with a center one still, right?

SPEAKER_01 18:45

With a center one still, yes. So technically seven. Technically seven on the ancient one. Okay. And technically nine on our Hanukkah one. So this ancient temple menorah, it was a thing. It was a big thing, okay? So there were instructions given in the Torah in the book of Exodus, instructions on how to make this lampstand, is how it's sometimes translated into English, that is hammered out of pure gold. It's like in one solid piece. It specifies three branches on one side, three branches on the other side, with cups shaped like almond branches. And that's right, cups. I said cups because this menorah used oil, not candles, like we often do today. So the oil sat in cups at the top of each branch. But some people actually do still use oil conukias today as well. In fact, we own one, but I just I've never gotten around to figuring out how I would actually use it. What am I gonna get? Wicks? I don't really know. I haven't looked into it enough.

SPEAKER_03 19:44

So what kind of oil would you even use? Could you use anything?

SPEAKER_01 19:47

Yeah, I would I don't I'd Google olive oil, menorah oil, and then see what the internet told me. So anyway, since ancient times, this this temple menorah with the six branches, seven technically, has symbolized the Jewish people, actually. So those instructions were given because it was originally constructed for use in the tabernacle, which was uh, if you imagine the Jews wandering around in the desert after they fled Egypt in the story, they've got this portable tent basically that they cart around with them, and they think of it as the dwelling place of God on earth, and it holds the Ten Commandments and stuff like that. So that's the tabernacle. So the menorah was originally constructed for use in that tabernacle. But then once they had the temples in Jerusalem, they were used in the temples. And interestingly, this is really cool. Rome, it's uh Rome destroyed the second temple. That's not what's really cool. I didn't mean to say that that's really cool. So, Rome, this is the fact first. The fact of history. Rome destroyed the second temple in Jerusalem in 70 CE. You've heard me mention this like four billion times, so there will be a quiz, I guess.

SPEAKER_03 21:00

What happened to the first temple?

SPEAKER_01 21:02

Yeah, what happened to the first temple? It was also destroyed, but I know less about that destruction. Click, click, clack, click, clack. The Babylonian army. Nebuchadnezzar.

SPEAKER_02 21:11

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 21:12

The Babylonians destroyed it.

SPEAKER_03 21:14

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_01 21:15

You you know how it goes.

SPEAKER_03 21:17

Okay, so the Romans destroyed the second temple.

SPEAKER_01 21:20

Correct. And they took spoils, and that included the menorah, the temple menorah. And you know how we know this? How? This is what's cool. We know this because it is depicted on the Arch of Titus, which is still in Rome. I saw it. You can go to Rome, you can go to this Arch of Titus, and it talks all about oh, look at us doing things in the world, being a badass army, you know, kicking ass, taking names, taking spoils, and it's got a bunch of the bunch of the Roman soldiers carding off all the goods, including they're holding a big menorah, a big six branch menorah that was for. When they sacked Jerusalem.

SPEAKER_02 22:02

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 22:03

So that's really cool. It's like really old, really neat. It's there.

SPEAKER_03 22:08

Are there archaeologists like theorizing what happened to it? Like, would it have been melted down for the gold?

SPEAKER_01 22:15

Yeah, yeah. I think that is probably the theory. Melting it down. I forget, but yeah, I've I feel like I've read somewhere, you know, oh, what happened to it? And it's like, well, it's I don't think it's just hiding for us somewhere. Right.

SPEAKER_03 22:28

Like, why would they keep it in that format?

SPEAKER_01 22:31

Yeah. And one more thing about menorahs before we leave the Schmid bit segment corner here. In a lot of homes, it is common practice for every person to light their own menorah. I know we didn't really grow up doing that because I think we only owned two.

SPEAKER_03 22:49

So and one we never used. So we never used. Is that true? I remember using both. Oh, really? Is the is the second one that you're picturing, does it look sort of like a fence?

SPEAKER_01 23:02

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 23:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 23:03

Yeah, that was my favorite.

SPEAKER_03 23:04

Yeah, it was it's interesting.

SPEAKER_01 23:06

It's cool. It like folds out. I think we lost it eventually. I haven't seen it in quite some time.

SPEAKER_03 23:11

I bet it exists. Oh, you know what? Dad told me he melted it down for the metal.

SPEAKER_00 23:18

That's good, Jay. That's good. I'm filing that one under good jokes Jay made.

SPEAKER_01 23:26

Oh man. Well, are you ready for a Drosh?

SPEAKER_03 23:30

I am ready for a Drosh, but before the Drosh, do you remember that time when Google was like advertising that it was Hanukkah on like the calendar or something? And I took a screenshot of it because it was only using the six-stem menorah. Six stem with the seventh middle, you know.

SPEAKER_00 23:48

Yep, yep.

SPEAKER_03 23:49

And I do you remember this? No. And I screenshotted it, and I I don't know if I'd like tweeted it at them or something back when Twitter existed. Yeah. But I said something. I feel like I added them and was like, what are you doing? You you have no juice on staff to tell you this is the wrong one.

SPEAKER_00 24:04

Yeah, true.

SPEAKER_03 24:06

Maybe it was an emoji limitation. Maybe, maybe they don't have a Hanukkah emoji. Maybe they only have a menorah emoji.

SPEAKER_01 24:14

That's a good question. I thought there was a Hanukkah one. You know, that's interesting that you did that. This is that's not the first time in my life that somebody has latched on to like, bra, your menorah has the wrong number of branches. Like I had a friend who saw Hanukkah socks, and again, they were only using the you know seven branch version. And oh, we were on Etsy. There was like a cool blanket that was a Hanukkah blanket, but it was only using the seven branches. And like in both these cases, I think, you know, we reached out to the people. And it's tricky because I think the problem is that a six-branch version exists and is like a legitimate thing, right? So you can Google Jewish menorah and you'll see both variations, which are both real. I think maybe if you're not, you know, clued into the fact that there is this other older version, it's easy to be like, what is, you know, you're just flat out wrong. It's so wrong. But you know, it's like, well, it is wrong. It is absolutely definitively wrong in the context of Hanukkah. It's just, you know, tough on them because if they Google it, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:24

Right. I did just Google it.

SPEAKER_01 25:26

Click, click, click, click, click, click.

SPEAKER_03 25:27

And apparently there is a Hanukia emoji to help differentiate. But I'm seeing one that does have eight with the ninth middle. Uh okay. So I guess it exists in some Unicode spheres.

SPEAKER_01 25:42

Nice. Judaism, son. Well, on to the Drosh. On to the theme here. Today we are going to have a Drosh on not just one theme, actually, today. We are doing as our theme the many themes of Hanukkah. Okay? Hanukkah episode, baby. Hanukkah.

SPEAKER_03 26:06

Hanukkah episode. All 23 days of Hanukkah.

unknown 26:09

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 26:11

First, I'm going to tell you the story of Hanukkah. Because, you know, at least speaking for myself here, for a holiday that I've celebrated every single year of my entire life. Kinda hard pressed to like lay out the story, you know, beat by beat here.

SPEAKER_03 26:27

Oh, should I? Do you want to try? Yeah, I feel like I should try just to see how big the gap is, right? Because once you tell me, then I'll know.

SPEAKER_00 26:34

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 26:35

Until I forget. No, just kidding. I probably won't forget it this time. So here's what I think I know. Okay. I think I know that it had to do with the Maccabees, which I think I know were a maybe militant branch of Jews. A little bit. A little bit militant. I don't know. They were warriors, I think. Yep. And there was a temple, maybe the temple, I don't know. The second temple. You got it. Okay. Yeah. They were like under siege by someone. And so they were like held up in the temple, maybe as like a fortress, I guess, like fending it off. And they needed to light the menorah either for ceremonial reasons or for light. I have no idea. Reason. I have no idea why they need to say but um and then and then they only had enough oil for I want to say one or three nights. Okay. I don't want to say two. I feel like the answer wasn't two. One or three.

SPEAKER_00 27:36

I think it's a one. I think it's a one. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 27:39

Uh, but the story goes that it lasted for eight nights. And so that was the miracle of Hanukkah that then eventually was passed down in stories and fable, and then was commercialized by people wanting to have a commercial holiday for the Jews in the United States.

SPEAKER_01 27:58

We gotta get a Jewish Christmas up in here, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:02

Yeah, that was really good, Jay. That was really good. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 28:05

So what's the real story?

SPEAKER_01 28:06

Let's see. Let me flesh that out a little bit. So first I'll say this story comes from um books called First and Second Maccabees, which are non-canonical, uh, depending on who you ask. They are apocryphal. So, in other words, they are not included in the official canon, the official list of writings that we consider, you know, this sacred set of books, whatever.

SPEAKER_03 28:32

Okay. Wait, hold on. Would would you say that it's fanfiction?

SPEAKER_01 28:36

It's kind of fanfiction. Don't tell the Catholics that, because I'm pretty sure I'm pretty sure the Catholics include these in their canon.

SPEAKER_03 28:46

So Oh really? Wait, so hold on. Is it in like the Catholic Bible?

SPEAKER_01 28:51

Yeah, I think it is. Oh. Let me Google that to make sure. Click, click, click, click, click. Yes. Oh, and Greek Orthodox and Russian Orthodox. Shout out to the Orthodox Christians. Not talking about you enough, are we? Um, yes, so for them, it's canonical. But these are books that were written in uh late 2nd to early first century BC, is what I'm seeing here. So Okay. So the story is set in Second Temple period. You were correct, around 2nd century BCE. And at this time, Jerusalem and Judea, that area, it's all part of the Seleucid Empire. And the king of the Seleucid Empire, named Antiochus, sends his soldiers into Jerusalem. Now, why does he send the soldiers? It's kind of like, uh, it may actually be. Some scholars think that it may actually be because he was intervening in a conflict actually between two groups of Jews. There might have been like a little civil unrest there, civil war-ish kind of thing going on, because there were these sort of two sets of Jewish people in Jerusalem at the time. There were the Hellenized Jews, in other words, Jews that were sort of assimilating to life in a Greek world, basically. That's what you know Hellenization is. Sure. And they might have even been sacrificing to Greek gods in the temple. And then there were the Jews who were resisting that assimilation to Greek culture and obviously that act of sacrificing to other gods in the Jewish temple. So the king comes in with his troops, sides with the Hellenized Jews, obviously, and uh outlaws Judaism and Judah Jewish practices. Okay. So basically Jews, not for the first time, are offered a sort of like convert or die, little ultimatum there. And the temple is desecrated, is the word you'll hear thrown around a lot. It's desecrated, and they officially set up altars to Greek gods in the temple, or idols, as you know, the hardline uh Jews might have called them, idols. So we've got the Jewish resistance, and that's the Maccabees. And yes, they were militant. So they fight back like with force. And although they are greatly outnumbered, they do eventually win the battle. They take back the temple from the, you know, these Seleucid forces, the Greek stuff. And then they purify the temple and they rededicate it to the Jewish god. Hanukkah actually means dedication.

SPEAKER_02 31:29

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 31:29

So that's why it's called Hanukkah. It's about the rededication of the temple after they managed to take it back from the Seleucid Empire.

SPEAKER_03 31:36

Is that the like still the modern Hebrew word for dedication?

SPEAKER_01 31:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:42

Well.

SPEAKER_01 31:42

And so then the the other part of the story that you know well about the lights, that's actually a later legend. That comes in much later, not until the Talmud. So hundreds of years later. So for a while, the story of Hanukkah is just that. It's just the military thing going on. The troops come in, they're like, no, don't do that. And then they take the temple back and they rededicate it. So this is the part we all know about with the oil. Hundreds of years later in the Talmud, when the Maccabees re-enter the temple, so goes the story. They needed to relight the eternal flame, which in Judaism and Hebrew is called the Nertamid, the eternal flame, which was always burning constantly in the temple. So it was a big thing. But they only had one jar of oil, enough for one day. So they sent somebody to go get more so that they could light that neertamid, that that uh eternal flame. And it took eight days for him to get back with the consecrated oil. So that one jar ended up lasting those eight days until somebody came back with more oil. So there are several themes in this whole story which I will elaborate upon now in relation to each theme's parallel in this episode of New Girl. Okay. If you'll allow me. Sure. Theme one of Hanukkah. Religious freedom and a minority resisting assimilation. So in the story of Hanukkah, we have the Maccabees, that small resistance army. And they were the ones who did not want to assimilate into Greek culture and worship other gods. They resisted, they won the battle, even though they were greatly outnumbered. And in the episode, Schmidt is our little Maccabees. Schmidt is outnumbered in his office as the only man. Right? Yeah. Giant forces of women outnumbering him. And our little Jewish resistance fighter, he stands up to that majority. And he refuses to worship other gods.

SPEAKER_00 33:44

And by worship other gods, I mean dress as sexy Santa. Sexy Santa. Santa being a symbol of another religion. And he prevails against all odds.

SPEAKER_03 33:56

Schmidt, our canonical Maccabee of the Loft. Our canonical Maccabee of the Loft. Why were they called Maccabees?

SPEAKER_01 34:03

Oh, uh, that was somebody's name. Judah Maccabee was sort of the resistance leader. Oh, actually, that might have been his nickname because I think Maccabee means hammer.

SPEAKER_03 34:13

The Jews were like, time to bring the hammer.

SPEAKER_01 34:15

Honestly, yes! Honestly, yes. Okay, yeah. It was a nickname for Judah Maccabee.

unknown 34:23

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 34:23

Because he was bringing down the hammer, leading that revolt. Neat. And another example of resisting assimilation, by the way, if you will, is Winston not wanting to get an office job. Yeah. Res resist that desk life.

SPEAKER_03 34:36

Heck the man.

SPEAKER_01 34:38

Heck the man. Theme two.

SPEAKER_03 34:40

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 34:41

Theme two of Hanukkah. Light overcoming darkness. So we've got that myth of oil lasting a miraculous eight days. And it may be a later edition. But it is what Hanukkah is best known for today. Agree? True.

SPEAKER_02 34:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 34:58

And so we call it the festival of lights, in fact. And it also does fall in the darkness of the winter nights, you know, deep winter dark. And that has become a metaphor that really speaks to people for obvious reasons, symbolizes hope and warmth. Right in the midst of that dark time, I guess, both literal and figurative dark times.

SPEAKER_03 35:21

People really made the holiday mean something with time. They really forced the holiday to morph into something that actually worked for them and meant something more to them.

SPEAKER_01 35:32

Absolutely, absolutely. And by the way, the the um the reason one some people think that the sages in the Talmud introduced this fable of the light is because they were uncomfortable with the super militant anti-assimilation message of the original story. So exactly to your point, they took the story and they sort of tweaked it to make it what they wanted it to be. Um, and I can't remember if it was because they didn't want to go on record with such a combative story when they were living in, you know, under foreign rule. You never want to be like, we have a great story and a great holiday celebrating, taking down the man, and then the man is looking over your shoulder like, what now? So could have been like not wanting to ruffle some feathers. Interesting. Um, but could could also very well have been a product of, you know, a lot of these sages were to one degree or another Hellenized, you know? This was the culture that they were intermingling with. So they were going to Roman baths and things like that. So yeah. So there has there is a tradition, I would say, of being uncomfortable with the story in its original form. How militant it is, how anti-assimilation it is. I mean, and you can look at that both ways, right? Assimilation, you can look at it positively, or you can look at it as like, yeah, good for them for wanting to maintain diversity, right? Is sort of something we might feel now in our culture in our particular moment. Sure. But anyway, you're exactly right, is that over time this holiday has been reinterpreted and and looked at through different lenses that sort of suit the moment. And so right now, for better or worse, everybody in America treats it as Jewish Christmas and draws that parallel that it's like, oh, light and warmth and happiness in the deep dark middle of winter.

SPEAKER_03 37:27

And why shouldn't people be able to make holidays that's right create meaning and spark joy, you know?

SPEAKER_01 37:34

Absolutely. Absolutely. By the way, speaking of sparking joy, I know we're doing white and blue as the Hanukkah colors. Can I who can I write to? To whom can I write a strongly worded letter about my proposition to change the Hanukkah color to gold?

SPEAKER_03 37:50

I think you have to take that up with John Hanukkah.

SPEAKER_01 37:53

John Hanukkah.

SPEAKER_03 37:54

I think if you write to John Hanukkah.

SPEAKER_00 37:57

Jonathan Hanukkah. Um, I'm gonna write to John Hanukkah and tell him it should be gold.

SPEAKER_01 38:03

And here's my soapbox. I didn't write my notes down. I wasn't planning on getting on this particular soapbox, but here we are.

SPEAKER_03 38:09

Get on the soapbox.

SPEAKER_00 38:10

Oil! Oil is gold. Okay? Well, flame. Flame are gold.

SPEAKER_03 38:17

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 38:18

Oil is gold.

SPEAKER_03 38:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 38:19

Google oil. Google oil right now, Jay.

SPEAKER_03 38:22

You're gonna tell me that.

SPEAKER_00 38:23

Well, not that oil. Google Google the Google cooking oil.

unknown 38:28

Click, click, click, click, click.

SPEAKER_03 38:30

Okay, I no, in your defense, when I Google oil, most of it looks like olive oil.

SPEAKER_00 38:35

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 38:36

Even the motor oil kind of looks a little bit more golden. Only some things are showing like crude oil that's like black.

SPEAKER_01 38:45

Okay, I just Googled it. The menorah in the temple, olive oil. So I assume that means we would also use olive oil in our olive Hanukki Yote today. All you listeners who actually use oil Hanukkiot instead of candles, hit me up. Tell me all about your oil supplies and what color it is to prove to my brother that it's gold.

SPEAKER_03 39:07

Okay, real talk. I was thinking about this earlier when I was cooking dinner because I was using olive oil. Like, how in ancient times did they manage to collect enough olives and and press them in whatever devices they had to like create meaningful amounts of olive oil without electricity and like what bottling it? You're gonna bottle it in glass back then? How are you gonna you're telling me that you're not getting the outside of that glass also coated in oil somehow when you're doing this back then? I mean, I don't know. Like, all credit to ancient peoples, you know, humans are very people are smart, and so I'm sure that they did it, but like I just I can't picture someone 2,000 years ago holding a glass bottle of olive oil the way that I was holding a glass bottle of I can't even speak, a glass bottle of olive oil like an hour ago. Make it make sense too.

SPEAKER_00 40:05

I'm not sure. I'm not sure they were putting them in glass bottles. I don't know when a glass bottle was invented, but they were maybe using like, you know, clay jugs and stone. I don't know. If that helps you visualize something a little better, maybe don't imagine a glass bottle and quite the same with the fancy little pore top that goes flup-fluff-fluff glug glug.

SPEAKER_01 40:30

But no, I mean the point about how do you get enough oils, that's legit. Right. That's why oil that's why olives were one of the seven species. Remember that? Mmm, the seven species. Because I guess they grew in abundance, maybe.

SPEAKER_03 40:42

Yeah, I I guess if we know anything about ancient cultures, it's that they really liked olives.

SPEAKER_01 40:47

That's right. They did. Mediterranean, crazy about this stuff.

SPEAKER_00 40:52

Also, guilt. Guilt is gold too. Sorry, back on the soapbox. Guilt is gold, oil, flame.

SPEAKER_03 41:01

You're right, you're right. I you know, if you asked me what the colors of Hanukkah were, I would say blue and white. But I think the I think the third answer would probably be like gold or yellow for that reason.

SPEAKER_01 41:12

That maybe maybe that's in your head because I'm trying to make it happen. I've been subliminally planting that, been decorating in gold. Plus, gold is warm. You need that warmth and the light, you know.

SPEAKER_02 41:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:25

Okay, climbing off my soapbox, click, click, click. Those are my heels.

SPEAKER_03 41:30

Climbing onto your soapbox. You know, I I always try, I always try to go for those multicolored candles on on our menorah. You know, I don't know. Add some. Oh wow, are you judging me?

SPEAKER_01 41:44

YOLO, YOLO. No, no, no. I mean, chase your bliss. That's good. We we we always do too. But I kind of like it. I feel like extra fancy if we ever get a box that's like all white or all gold or something like that. It's like, ooh, I'm an adult. What do you mean? What am I am I in a pottery barn right now? You know?

SPEAKER_03 42:05

Yeah, or like silver. We had a box for a while that was all blue and all silver. I don't know how bad it is to breathe in a candle that's been coated in something to make it look silver. But we went through a box one year.

SPEAKER_01 42:22

Sounds nice.

SPEAKER_03 42:23

All right, well, yeah, yeah, yeah. Take that up with John Hanukkah and um let me know what he says.

SPEAKER_01 42:28

I'll let you know what he says. Okay, yes. So, this whole theme of light overcoming darkness in the episode. The episode ends, ready for this, with a festival of lights to triumph over the darkness of just getting dumped. And even the miraculous nature. It sort of mirrors the miraculous nature of it because instead of keeping the light on, it's turning the light on, but the lights were out. They were too late. Okay, so yes, it's turning them on instead of keeping them on, but they were too late. They didn't get there in time. But with their yells, miraculously they kept the Christmas lights burning into the night. Just like the eternal flame in the temple is kept burning. Yay!

SPEAKER_03 43:16

The Maccabees of the Loft stormed the temple of Candy Lane.

SPEAKER_01 43:21

That's right. Candy Kane Lane.

SPEAKER_03 43:24

That's great. Yeah, what that's a good connection.

SPEAKER_01 43:26

That's a good one, right?

SPEAKER_03 43:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:27

Okay, next one. Publicizing the miracle. Now, this might have something that is new to you. Yay, a new thing to learn. So technically, we are supposed to display the Hanukkah lights where passers by can see them. Did you know that?

SPEAKER_03 43:42

To some extent, I, you know, have seen a lot of imagery of people putting it in the window.

SPEAKER_01 43:47

That's right. So a window is a good example, and then even outside the door is something that's thrown around in like Talmud words or something. So, in the episode, the game. They're passers by on the street, aren't they?

SPEAKER_04 44:03

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:04

And uh when Nick is on his mission to get them to turn on the lights, he's like, Why would they turn them off? It doesn't make sense to me. You spend all this time to show off and do it. So show off. You got an audience. Show off. Y'all show off, so turn on the lights. It's all about showing off, having an audience, which is you know similar to the need to publicize the miracle, put the lights where people can see them. By the way, I think we see nine houses light up at the end, like the nine branches of Hanukkah. It's tough to tell. I watched it so many times trying to count, but there may be nine lightups.

SPEAKER_00 44:43

So I like four.

SPEAKER_03 44:45

That's funny. If you had asked me, I would have been like, yeah, I think they had like four houses or something. So, you know, I'm just gonna take it at your word that there were much more than that.

SPEAKER_01 44:55

It's even more magical than you remember, Jay. Okay, one more big one, if you'll allow me.

SPEAKER_02 45:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:00

And then maybe a secret little tiny end one, but one big one. Gradually increasing the light.

SPEAKER_02 45:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 45:08

In the Talmud times, our main men, Hillel and Shammai, remember them?

SPEAKER_03 45:15

Throwback.

SPEAKER_01 45:15

That's right. They're back.

SPEAKER_03 45:17

They were great guests on the pod.

SPEAKER_01 45:19

That's right. We loved having them. Have them back anytime. They had a disagreement. Surprise, surprise, about the manner in which you should light the Hanukkiya. Shammai said that on the first night, kindle all eight lights. All on the first night. And then with each passing night, gradually decrease until you're at one light on the last night. But Hillel says on the first night, kindle one light, and then gradually increase with every night. And who wins? Whom does the Halaha follow, Jay?

SPEAKER_03 45:56

Hillel. He was a better marketer.

SPEAKER_01 45:58

Always.

SPEAKER_03 46:00

He was like a psychology professor or something. You know what I mean? Obviously, you should increase with time because that's more exciting. More better. More time.

SPEAKER_01 46:11

More better. Yeah. And that's exactly his rationale, basically. His rationale is that as a rule, we are meant to increase holiness, not decrease. And you can replace holiness in, you know, whatever good feeling stuff you want to do. But yeah, we're increasing the good stuff, not decreasing the good stuff. So Hillel wins.

SPEAKER_03 46:32

That's savage.

SPEAKER_01 46:33

Yeah, yeah. So we've got gradually increasing the light in our Jewish tradition. And in the episode, not only do the house lights come on one at a time, yeah, yeah, yeah, obviously. But I see a parallel in Jess's story with Paul. In that, you ready for this? She wants a slow burn.

SPEAKER_03 46:53

Oh, I see what you did there.

SPEAKER_01 46:57

That's right. On the menorah of their relationship, we're gonna call it that. She wants to start slow and light one candle at a time. Not jump to heaven the whole thing, burning hot right away. She's not there, you know?

SPEAKER_00 47:13

She's not totally like on fire for him yet. Jess is Hillel. I guess that's what I'm trying to say. Jess is Hillel.

SPEAKER_01 47:20

She's like, let's take it one step at a time. Let's let it build up to that. But he's Shemai. He's the little bitch. He's like, You're not on fire right away. You're wrong. But of course, the halaha follows Beit Hill, and Jess is the one we sympathize here with. You know, we're like, why can't she just have a small bear? By the way, I had to like revisit the plot line a couple times to figure out, was just trying to dump him. I don't think she was actually trying to dump him. I think she was trying to tell him, I'm not there yet, let's take it slow. Like I revisited all the dialogue, and that's actually what's going on. That's why Nick is like, come on, Paul, you don't need to break up with her over this. You know what I mean? It's like it really is. She just wants to take it slow, bro. Like, what? Come on.

SPEAKER_03 48:06

Yeah, that's a good point. It did seem like if Paul had been willing to accept this truth about how Jess feels and still be comfortable in being in a relationship with her, you know, they didn't have to break up.

SPEAKER_00 48:21

They didn't have to break up. He's like, I can't do that with you. I love you too much. It hurts too much.

SPEAKER_05 48:26

He's like, my name is my name is Justin Long. I follow Beth Shemai.

SPEAKER_00 48:31

Shammai! Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 48:35

And lastly, I don't want to leave CC behind, okay? You ready? Alright. Little little addition at the end. Oil working a miracle.

SPEAKER_00 48:42

And by oil, I mean perfume. And by miracle, I mean endearing Schmidt to her, even though it smells terrible. That's the miracle. Even though it smells terrible, she liked it.

SPEAKER_03 48:55

What do they say?

SPEAKER_00 48:56

Like appreciated it.

SPEAKER_03 48:57

Damp towels or something like that.

SPEAKER_00 49:02

Yeah, just terrible. Yeah, true.

SPEAKER_03 49:04

She was not uh totally put off by him, despite the bad gifts. Right.

SPEAKER_01 49:08

A miracle through oil. And that's it. Those are the many themes of Hanukkah and how they all connect to this episode.

SPEAKER_03 49:15

Great.

SPEAKER_01 49:16

Happy Hanukkah. It's March. But we're ready.

SPEAKER_03 49:20

Happy Hanukkah.

SPEAKER_01 49:21

Catch me in nine months.

SPEAKER_03 49:22

That's great.

SPEAKER_01 49:26

Oh, I want to thank everybody so much for listening. Jay, I want to thank you for hanging out with me and talking about my favorite show. If anyone wants to get in touch with us out there, you can email us at JewGirlpodcast at gmail.com. And I invite you to join us next time, in which we will take a Bolivian Diet pill and remember that?

SPEAKER_03 49:49

Is that in the episode?

SPEAKER_00 49:53

Yeah, it's what CeC is doing at her model shoot. She's the after for a Bolivian Diet pill.

SPEAKER_02 49:59

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:01

Oh yeah, the girl who's like, I'm the before. I looked her up too. Also not Jewish.

SPEAKER_03 50:05

She's got a good actress. They look very similar.

SPEAKER_00 50:07

They really actually do look shockingly similar. Next week we'll take these Bolivian Dietpills while we roller skate around the Arch of Titus.

SPEAKER_03 50:17

Join us next time when we melt down the roller skates to reforge the second temple menorah.

SPEAKER_00 50:26

Tune in next time when we have John Hanukkah on the show to discuss the sexy Easter Bunny. Tune in next time when I will paint everything gold and be really militant about it. You walk in here with a blue shirt. No. Gold. Gold.