Episode 10 – The First Money Talk… and the Alarms Get Silenced

In this episode, I take you to the moment when money first enters the relationship — and something doesn’t feel right.

By this point, the connection feels real. Trust has been built. The relationship feels genuine. But when money is introduced, the first alarm bells start to go off.

They’re not loud. They’re not obvious. But they’re there.

And instead of stopping, I explain how those alarms get silenced — through trust, emotion, reassurance, and the belief that “this is different.”

This is not where the scam starts.
 This is where the first real test happens.

Understanding this moment is critical, because this is where people begin crossing a line they may not be able to come back from.

If you or someone you care about is involved in an online relationship where money is being discussed, this is the point where you need to stop and take a hard look.  A VERY hard look...

Transcript

How Money Enters the Relationship

The Scam Starts at Hello

This "person" is Part of Your Inner Circle

Its not Because You are Weak

FBI Rules...Pay Attention Here Please

There is a Story...Pulls at Who You Are. They Know You Now

Share This With you Because I Love You. I Want to Help You, Like Someone Helped Me.

Trust - Such a key Word

Danger of Losing Everything...Everything

You Simply do Not Know the Game. They Count on That

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Hey, good afternoon. Thank you for taking the time to listen today. I truly appreciate you being here. I'm Michael B. I'll be your host. And this is The Anatomy of Modern Romance Scams. It's a podcast series where we break down how these scams really work, how trust gets built, manipulation happens, and how people are pulled into financial traps before they realize it. I know this because it happened to me. My goal is very simple to pull back the curtain, expose how these scams work so you can recognize them before they recognize you. I apologize for my voice today. Kind of got the gunk that's been going around. So I'm hoping that you can overlook that and we can go down through this podcast and continue to educate ourselves on how these how these happen. Today, as promised, we're getting back to the mechanics, specifically when money first enters the relationship. Now you ever notice how the talk of money changes a conversation? It's about to happen here too. Okay. Oh, I love that car. It's it's how much? Oh, okay. Well, maybe I don't love it quite that much, right? Because you you know, your alarms, your alarm bells go off. Your can I afford that? Your rational head starts really thinking about it. Okay, and that's about to happen here in this relationship, but this is not where the scam starts. Okay, the scam started when you with your first answer to their ping, their first ping to you. Hi, I can this is thus and such. I was just looking for some new friends, and you know, I really liked your post. It can it it's an open-ended invitation to respond. And as soon as you do, it's game on. Okay, so I I want to be clear, this is not where the scam starts. The really the relationship is in place, it's been built, and it's strong. Trust has been already firmly established. You have really let this person into your inner circle, your closest relationships. The connection feels real, it feels very good, but this is a key turning point and a strong test of where you both are. This is another shift that's about to take place where possibly the first real test shows up, and again, that test is money. So when money enters the relationship or the conversation, the alarms go off. They do, they may not be loud, they may not be obvious, but enough that you notice them and you think, wait a minute, here we are on the internet, and you know, we're talking about money now, and the red flags start flying. So, does this make sense? Should I be doing this? That's the moment. These are the alarms, and what happens next is everything because almost immediately you're gonna turn around, and these alarms are gonna get answered by your co-pilot. Hey, I'm just trying to help you. Don't you trust me? And why are you testing me? I love you, I wish I was there with you. Those messages are gonna come in a crescendo. All right, where's the trust? I thought you loved me. Uh why are you questioning me? I'm doing this for you and for your family, okay? And it works. It's not because you're weak, it's because you're already emotionally invested. Okay, up until this point, everything's been about connection. Now it's become about trust under pressure. So I want, I really want to give you something very simple. If anyone asks you for money on the internet, that's a massive red flag. If they say they can teach you, that's a massive red flag. If they say they can teach you how to invest or make money or invest in cryptocurrency, that is a huge, massive red flag. I've talked to a lot of law enforcement, and quite honestly, I have to tip my hat to law enforcement. They have been the most empathetic people that I have spoken to during this whole journey that I've started for myself, unfortunately. But the FBI rule number one is no one can teach you about investing in cryptocurrency over the internet. And FBI rule number two, you probably guessed it, is read FBI rule number one again, which I will do. No one can teach you about investing in cryptocurrency over the internet. They can't, it's a farce, it's all fake. But here's the problem: this doesn't feel like someone on the internet now. This feels like someone you know, someone you trust, and somebody that you care about, and that changes the entire game. Because now the story evolves, okay. You may have already heard about their past, like I did. They set you up, they have a broken marriage, they struggled, they tell you about their hard times, and maybe uh maybe they tell you I had nothing, I was alone, I didn't know what I was going to do. In my particular instance, this person said, My husband left me standing in the rain with no coat and nothing to my name, and took my son from me. Okay, there's a story, there's a hook, they're looking for your empathy, all right? But there's something more to this, and I need to we need to go into it, all right. But something happens, someone helps them, they found a way out of the situation, and it's only been like maybe two years, and now they're doing really well. I mean, really well. You see it in the pictures, in the lifestyle, in their confidence. Yeah, I'm I'm waiting for my driver. Wait a minute. I thought you were I thought you were broke, I thought you didn't have any money to even just two years ago. Okay, so at some point in time, you might ask that question how come you have a driver? How come you have a chef? Your mom has a chef, your mom has a private airplane. How did that happen? Well, mom was the one who helped me. She finally realized that I needed help, and so I turned to her and she taught me how to do this, and now I was going to teach you because I love you. You see where I'm going with that. But again, you might ask those questions how did things turn around so fast? And that's when the door opens. And it doesn't matter if you open it or if she opens it or he opens it. This can go so many different ways, okay? But what you're gonna get is well, I can share it with you, but only with you, because not everyone has access to the tools, not everybody knows about this, and it sounds reasonable, it doesn't feel like a scam, it feels like an opportunity. That is the trap. Because now your alarms are still there, but they're quieter, not gone, but you silence them, or she silences them. Okay, you just hit the button, the alarm goes quiet. You're still in danger at some point in time. That airplane is gonna have problems, and you just silenced something that is gonna trigger that will keep whatever it is from manifesting itself. Okay, so all you're doing is procrastinating the inevitable, okay. And when you silence those, you tell yourself they wouldn't lie to me. This relationship is different. This makes sense, and I can trust them. Trust is a huge word, it's gonna get batted back and forth and back and forth. Okay, and that's how it happens. Not all at once, but with not with one decision, but in a moment like this. Moments like this. This wasn't the beginning and it wasn't the end. This was the moment I stepped up to the line. We talked about money, we talked about engagement, and how did you get this done? How did you do that? Let me show you, Michael. Let me show you. I love you, you're special, and you're one of the only ones that I would trust to show how I made it back, and I want to share that with you. That's when I should have stepped back, and I didn't. And I want you to understand something very clearly. If you're at this point, you're at risk of losing a lot. And when I say a lot, I mean everything. You should be asking yourself, is this putting my finances at risk? Do I understand the consequences of what I'm about to do? Can I live with those consequences? Because I can tell you from very unfortunate experience and things that I'm still going through, there are consequences that you don't even see yet. These are the things that cost you, your relationship, your home that you had paid off, and now it's refinanced, your future, and it all starts right here. When the first money talk happens and the alarms get silenced. I don't think I'm dumb. I don't think I'm stupid. I didn't I was obviously an idiot. Yes, I will wear that hat, not with pride, but I will wear it. I just hope that you'll continue to listen, that you'll continue to share. And I want to thank you for listening and spending a few minutes with me today. This has been the Anatomy of Modern Romance Scams. And I hope that if this episode helped you better understand how these scams work, please share it. Awareness is one of the most powerful tools we have to prevent others from becoming victims. I'm telling you right now that the people who are scamming you know the game, know the rules, and we just don't know what it is, and we don't know how to play, and that costs us dearly. And I hope that you'll join me the next time on the next podcast. I want to thank you again for listening, for sharing. I appreciate your comments. There's anything I can do to improve or something that I haven't addressed. If you'd like to be on and speak up about your situation and teach us about that, a flavor of scam, we can set that up, and that would be that would be awesome. Until then, please stay aware, stay protected, and always, always stay safe.

SPEAKER_01 14:02

This is Michael B.