Episode 1: Taking Out The Trash | Season 2 Premiere

Welcome to Season 2 of the II Dope Chics Podcast.

The wedding is easy to celebrate… it’s the day after where real marriage begins.

In this episode, we sit down as II wives and get honest about what changed once the celebration ended and real life set in. The permanence, the adjustments, and the everyday work that doesn’t make the highlight reel.

We talk about why we chose to publicly celebrate our love, not to show off, but to honor our journey, represent Black love, and create space for real conversations. Yes, we get into the pressure of being labeled “relationship goals” and why love isn’t perfect.

From navigating different personalities to building careers and supporting each other through uncertain seasons, we break down what it really takes to make a relationship last… without forcing roles that were never meant for us.

Because let’s be clear… there is no “man” in this relationship.

…except on trash days.😂

New season. Real conversations about love, growth, culture, and building together.

Subscribe, share, and tell us… what part of marriage gets real the fastest for you?

Transcript

The Wedding Ends And Reality Starts

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Here we are. After the wedding, we gave him the fairy tale. We gave them the vows. All the behind the scenes. Now what? Well, now it's time to get the money. We do the work. Because marriage is every single day. Marriage is work. So now we do the work. So let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. Especially coming off of the whole wedding, because people was literally asking questions like, Why did y'all want to put the wedding on display like that? Why did you want people to publicly see your wedding? Like some people felt like it was being kind of braggadocious. And you know that we're not those type of people. So I guess, how did you feel about us publicly displaying the wedding?

SPEAKER_01 1:31

Well, I mean, I thought it was important for people to see, uh, because it was a celebration of our love. And everyone has to understand everything that we did with the wedding was literally for us. It was not for show or anything like that. It was literally a celebration and symbolism about um our love and our journey. So uh we wanted to share that with um since we got so many questions and so many inquiries about it, uh, it was just best to go ahead and share it with everyone. And hey, give them an opportunity to ask their questions. Uh we're kind of an open book, so um, we just wanted to make sure that we were available to uh share our experience.

SPEAKER_00 2:13

Yeah, for me, I felt like visibility uh was important, um, especially not just same-sex love, but love. Love with the other couples that were there. We celebrated black excellence, we celebrated community, community support. Um, so for me, the wedding just kind of represented all of those different things. So that's why I felt like the visibility was important.

From Bride Energy To Wife Work

SPEAKER_01 2:43

Yeah, yeah, definitely. We got so much great feedback, just uh people just being super proud of um seeing us come together, seeing our village. And I think it also, you know, it just restored hope. And and those who are um pursuing um this type of of joy and happiness and and union. So um that was it was it was wonderful to be able to be an inspiration to others that way.

SPEAKER_00 3:12

Well, now that's behind us, right? That's behind us. So here we are. Two dope chicks we're married now.

SPEAKER_01 3:24

Yeah, yeah, it's real, real.

SPEAKER_00 3:26

And now we're moving on to the real work, the everyday work, the work that matters, because everybody seems to want to focus on being a bride, but now the focus is being a wife, is transition, is the shift. The shift has occurred, and here we are looking at each other every single day.

SPEAKER_01 3:51

Yeah, and that's you know, I think that that's deep and that's that's really, really real, you know, is one of the things that sat in for me was just the fact that now everything is is permanent, um, is no more of, you know, I'm just gonna run back to my house or anything like that.

SPEAKER_00 4:10

Oh yeah, because you're notorious for that. You get mad. I'm going home. Where are you going?

SPEAKER_01 4:15

Um, this is home. Upstairs. So we gotta work it out. Yeah, exactly. Upstairs. Exactly. I'm going to the garage. Go and take a walk. But yeah, is is when we when we set our vows, um, that was something that was a solemn moment, a solemn moment. And for me, that means serious and also, you know, it's that commitment that it's it's holy to. So it just means that we're here for each other uh for life, and we're committed to uh working things out, good and bad. So it's it's it's real, real.

The Pressure Of Relationship Goals

SPEAKER_00 4:57

Yeah, it's real, real. And now we have people coming at us like, oh, y'all are hashtag relationship goals. And I don't know how that makes you feel, but for me, it's like it's the pressure of being relationship goals. Like, I'm like, do y'all know how much we argue behind the scenes, how much we like go at it? Relationship goals, how? Like, how did we become hashtag relationship goals?

SPEAKER_01 5:26

Yeah, I don't know about that. You know, um, I think when people say stuff like, you know, relationship goals, they don't have the well, before the podcast, they did not have the ability to see the behind the scenes and really realistically how we interact and the real stuff that we go through. Um, you know, because when we come out the house, boom, everything is peachy, peachy. But when we in the house, there's, you know, we're not gonna always agree. So um when I hear things like relationship goals, I just want everybody to understand literally, um, every single moment is not going to be wonderful. Every single moment is not gonna be, I absolutely am in love with this person. Um, there are gonna be times that we love each other but don't like each other or don't like what the other person does. Um, so you know, if that's what people mean by relationship goals, you know, I guess I'm with it as long as they understand that that it's not it's not perfect all the time.

SPEAKER_00 6:36

But I think when people for me, when people say relationship goals, I don't think they're necessarily looking for it to be perfect, but I do think that they're looking at couples saying, you know, they can work together, they can live together, um, they travel together, they can do all these things and still coexist in a space where, you know, it feels comfortable that they can actually do it because there are a lot of couples out there that can't do what we do on a daily basis. I mean, on a daily basis, we may be mad at each other in one second because of work stuff, firm administrator to attorney. Then we could be mad at each other about two dope chick stuff, but then we have to turn right around and still just be Millicent and Shantae, Shantae and Millicent. So that's how I feel about relationship goals as far as when they say hashtag relationship goals. And also I think they look at the time. Like, oh, they've been together 15 years. Like, I don't think relationship goals just because somebody's been together for a long time, because there are people that have been out there together for a while that are absolutely miserable. Yeah, all they have is time, all they have is time, they have nothing else, and so I don't ever want that to be the hashtag relationship goals of oh, they've been together forever.

SPEAKER_01 8:07

No, no, so no, we definitely not that, you know, and I've seen that too, is those folks where, you know, they say they've been together for X number of years, but literally you're you're going to bed and waking up to a person that you don't like. That's true. Um, which is why people tend to seek things in other people outside. Don't go there, yeah, outside of the relationship in order to satisfy those needs. But yeah, is uh I've enjoyed, although we have had challenge, um, we overcame that challenge together.

SPEAKER_00 8:42

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 8:43

And that was a choice, and that was commitment, and that was love.

What Got Heavier After I Do

SPEAKER_00 8:47

So the wedding was kind of like our, I guess you could say, like our highlight reel. And I feel like coming back with the regular podcast now, I feel like it's our duty, it's our responsibility, it's our job to give people healing. So, yeah, they say, oh, the wedding was expensive, but I feel like the commitment is priceless. So I just been, you know, thinking after the wedding, now what? Um, what changed like for you after the wedding, after everything was said and done? Like what changed? What got heavier? What got lighter? What got quieter?

SPEAKER_01 9:31

Uh, what got heavier and got real was just the the fact that to me it felt permanent and it felt official. Um it's different when it's fiance or girlfriend or boothing or boyfriend or whatever, whatever. But to actually have that title as wife spouse.

SPEAKER_00 9:53

Well, what what made that different though? Because we were already like, we were already together, together.

SPEAKER_01 10:00

Yeah, but it's different. It's different, it's different. Um from the moment of saying those vows, to me, that was like a public declaration of a promise to you. Not only a promise to you, but a promise to, you know, our kids, a promise to our families, um, a promise to our village and community that we will continue to strive to overcome. Um, and I think more of a just a promise to God. So that made it real serious. I mean, it's it's more than going together.

SPEAKER_00 10:33

We go together. We go together. I think for me, it was just making those um, you know, just major adjustments. Uh, we had a lot going on after the wedding, moving into our new home. Uh, everything just felt new, revived, that was fresh for us. Yeah. And I knew that that was very important for us. But I guess it was the, yeah, just thinking about the responsibility of it all. Like, this is not something now you can say, oh, she just pissed me off. I'm not calling her tomorrow. I'll see if I'm gonna call her Tuesday or Wednesday. It's like I got to face this person. I got to look at this person. Um, but I do know how I felt. It's like as soon as everybody went home, which was probably like that Tuesday after the wedding. I just remember looking over at you and I was like, man, I really get to choose this person and look at this person every single day for the rest of my life, the rest of my days. And I don't know how long that is, but however long it is, you're gonna be looking at me. I'm gonna be looking at you. Facts, facts, facts. So that's that's just really, you know, how it felt for me. The adjustments, the overwhelming feeling, the all of that.

SPEAKER_01 11:58

And I agree, you know, as we sat, you know, and we are we are always our true selves. Um, so for all of you know, the glam or whatever, whatever, when it came down to the wedding and the wedding events, um, that Sunday night. Yeah, that Sunday night after a weekend full of events, after our farewell brunch with um, you know, a music group all the way from London, we sat at one of our favorite restaurants in Orlando, uh Hot and Juicy Crabs.

SPEAKER_00 12:34

Hot and Juicy Krabs.

SPEAKER_01 12:35

Yeah, we literally sat with our friends doing something that really we did at the beginning. So it was so reminiscent and it was so it was so wonderful because to me it felt like a grounding experience of for all of everything that happened with the wedding. Um, we sat with our friends at that restaurant and just ate crabs, you know, and talked and laughed.

SPEAKER_00 13:02

Our pound and a half. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:04

With some shrimp. Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, with uh extra sauce on the side.

Dropping The Mask In Marriage

SPEAKER_00 13:09

I think what couples have to realize too is that you're not always on, you're not always in the spotlight. So when the plots and everything just kind of fades away, fade in the dark, all you have is each other, and that's when the real work hits. That's when it's time to like really work on you. It's not about like I think for me, I grew up where um everybody knows I'm a PK. So I grew up in a situation where it was like when we got to church on Sundays, it was like game on. Yeah. You know, we're the first family, everybody's looking at us. So I just felt like, man, I always have to put on this face. And sometimes putting on that face wasn't easy because sometimes you're trying to portray certain things that's that's really not going on. And so I just always keep in the back of my head for us, for our relationship, is that when I come out and that face is on, I always want that to be the real true face. I don't want to feel like I'm acting, I don't want to feel like I'm putting on because trust me, I have a now, I have a hard time putting on a face. If I'm pissed off, you know I'm pissed off.

SPEAKER_01 14:28

Oh yeah, oh yeah, I know, I know, I know. Um, and and I think that's how you said it. I know, I know. I already know. I don't even want to get you amped up because your eyes was getting you amped up. So uh, but I I think that that we have really focused in our relationship on making sure that we do always show up as our transparent selves. Um, I don't care what title we have outside the house, I don't care what event we're asked to come to, I don't care how many awards or whatever, whatever, is at the end of the day, it's Millicent and Shantae.

SPEAKER_00 15:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:07

And so it's literally a mask-off moment of showing my true self, what bothers me, what I may be hurting about, what makes me laugh, what makes me cry. And we always make sure, I think we do a good job of testing each other, making sure that we always show up in this as our true selves.

Two Personalities One Strong Union

SPEAKER_00 15:31

So I guess for me now, okay, we're both accomplished. You know, now we have marriage, now we have business, now we have no, we had that before. I mean, uh, besides marriage. But I'm saying, we're two black professional women. And although we don't realize it sometimes, I guess we forget, we don't look in the mirror often. We're two black female women. You know what the word is, right? I mean, we are we don't like to, you know, say it often, but I guess you can say we are a part of the LGBTQ community. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that makes our plight sometimes even more difficult because now you have the marriage, you have, you know, the businesses, you have the legacy. Everything is like building on top. So how do we just continue to to move where we're still trying to build our legacy, we're handling all of our businesses, we're trying to manage marriage, we're trying to continue to make sure that we're always staying true to our brand. It could be a lot. It is, it is, and I know you wear it sometimes more than I do because you're the you're the worrier, you're the worry wart. I'm more of the if it works, it works. If it don't, it don't. I'm more of the yeah, if you don't give it, I don't give a yeah, that's me. Yeah, but you know, I'm getting better with that.

SPEAKER_01 17:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:17

So how do we just continue to like work through all of those things? Because it could be a lot.

SPEAKER_01 17:25

So I think that again, this is one of the things that makes our relationship so unique is for all of our similarities, um, we have distinct differences. Is you right? You are the person who is just carefree. If it works, it works. If it doesn't, it doesn't. I'm the person who is going to worry through the whole situation, be anxious about it, and have about 10 million what ifs. Um, and I think that that's the beauty of our of our union. I think that's the beauty of the the diversity of personality, um, the diversity of of just how we are wired. And and I I think within that, that's the thing, one of those intangibles that makes us um so much stronger. Uh, because there's been time after time after time uh where I've been, you want to try something, I've been amped up about it, of coming up with probably about a million excuses of why this isn't a good idea. And you said, let's just go with it and let's just try it, and it worked.

SPEAKER_00 18:40

But that's what I love about us. Like, I know people always ask me, like, how do y'all like, what's the dynamic? Like, who leads? Who, and that always bothers me. Who the man?

SPEAKER_01 18:52

Like, who the man?

SPEAKER_00 18:52

Yeah, because right now I feel like they're trying to ask, like, who the man? Who the man is the one? Who is no man here? Nah.

SPEAKER_01 18:59

Except on trash days, you know.

SPEAKER_00 19:04

I'm not saying about the trash. But like for real, for real. You the man, no, for real. Um, it always like bothers me when they say, Well, well, who who leads? And I'm trying to take out, you know, that thing in my head of who's the man. But I think with us, there is no who leads. Like it just really depends on the it depends on the situation. It may be something that I feel like you're stronger in. So yeah, yeah, naturally, you're going to lead. Um, and vice versa. If if it's me and you feel like, okay, Shantae, that's your wheelhouse. I'm gonna lead. Yeah. Um, there is no there's no tug of war.

SPEAKER_01 19:47

There's no tug of war, you know, because again, when you put the union first, okay. The union.

SPEAKER_00 19:58

I felt like you was about to say a scripture. I know, right?

SPEAKER_01 20:00

That thing will well, you put the union first and and then the family is part of that, then that is incredibly sacred. So with that, you don't have that that all that ego attached to you lead, I follow, and it's none of that. Is in this moment, you more comfortable with this. So you lead, and out of my respect for you, again, because part of our relationship, and I can't say this about every relationship, but part of our relationship is a significant amount of mutual respect. Um, out of respect for you and my love for you, I'll I'll follow because I know that you're not gonna take us into a trap or a bad place. And the same, you know, in the reverse of if it's something that I may be more comfortable with, is you will go ahead and you'll follow. No questions asked.

Leading Without Ego Or Roles

SPEAKER_00 21:02

Yeah. So do you think that we do a good job with I guess coexisting as far as you know, not putting ego and all of that in in our marriage? Like, I know for me, I always feel as though I'm your biggest cheerleader. I want to see you do well, I want to see you um succeed, but I do know sometimes in relationships, there's like this like competition going on. Even in relationships, people compete.

SPEAKER_02 21:37

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:38

And so I feel like with us, it's like it's iron sharpens iron. You always trying to encourage me and push me to do things. And where, you know, I see you, you may be weak in an area, I'm gonna jump in and help you because it gives me great joy seeing you, you know, rise. To the next level. And so when people ask, well, you know, how do you all coexist as far as, you know, without ego? Um, I don't know. Cause honestly speaking, I do feel like earlier on in our relationship, we did go through this little time where, and you know, we we keep it, we keep it real.

Sponsor Message

Bitterness To Pivot Through Support

SPEAKER_01 22:22

I don't even know where you're going in. I know where you're going in this moment, but I'm here for it. No one ever expects to be in a car accident, but when it happens, you need someone who stands on business. I'm Millicent Daniels, and this is my city. I fight for my people. I am your attorney. Scan below, save the number, and if ever in need, call.

SPEAKER_00 22:42

So I remember like this was probably back in 2016, 2017. I was struggling bad because, as you know, I walked away from my career as an educator. And it was hard for me during that time because when I walked away, I didn't walk away voluntarily. I walked away because of the situation with Shemaya, and I needed to be there and take care of my child. And I just remember uh one day we got into this argument. We were on the road, driving to Atlanta, and you know I remember Elephant Mind, Elephant Brain. And you said you need to stop being bitter and stop having a chip on your shoulder because of your, you know, situation. And that that hit me in that moment because I was like, I don't want to be that person.

SPEAKER_01 23:42

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:43

But I internally I didn't realize that I had not emotionally dealt with the fact that I did walk away from my career, and I had to leave my career at a time where I felt like I had just got to where I was trying to go and to and where I wanted to be. And then bam, life happens. And so in that moment, it's like I gotta shift. Yeah, now I got to continue to cheer you on, applaud you, help you, and right, right, here I am. So I did go through through that little time.

SPEAKER_01 24:24

Yeah, yeah. No, I I remember that. Um, and I remember how that felt. I remember how I looked. I remember that that trip.

SPEAKER_00 24:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:34

Um, and recognizing that in you of I knew how you must have felt of right at the point that you are at the point in your career where you're about to move to that next place, and this is what you've always worked for. You know, you spent the past 15 years working for this, and then life happens.

SPEAKER_00 24:56

When I look back on that time now, I was mad at everybody. Like I even I remember waking up one day, I was mad with my ex. I'm mad with him because he never, you know, stepped away from his career to, you know, come and help. And it's like I'm watching everybody just escalate and evolve. And I'm just sitting there like, okay, God, did you forget about me? Like, but now I look back on it and I say, you know, the person that you're with can impact your ambition, your drive. Yeah. Because in that moment, I could have just given up during that time. I could have just been like, oh, well, I'm not gonna do anything else. I'm just going to. But the person that you're with can really and truly influence who you are and who you continue to evolve in because I really found me. I found my person. Like, I didn't even know she was out there roaming looking for me, and we ran into each other, like, hey girl, okay, we together now. So, but it took that whole situation to get me to that point. So I guess I could say, shoot, I thank you for continuing to be that iron that continued to sharpen me, and you gave me the space to grow and continue to flourish.

SPEAKER_01 26:24

And and I think also, and and this is one of the things that you've really challenged me to do because I did not grow up in a way where we had honest conversations. I think now 40 plus, I can say that. Probably if this would have been 15 years ago, I would have been in denial about it. But now looking back at my upbringing, um, it wasn't necessarily where we were taught to be honest and true to others and to ourselves.

SPEAKER_02 26:57

To yourself first.

SPEAKER_01 26:58

So in that moment, um, I appreciate you allowing me to be honest with you as far as what I was observing and what I was feeling. Um, I think in response, and this is just something that I, you know, share it out with with, and I haven't thought about this in a long time. I'm glad you brought this up. But you know, thinking about how you felt during those years of feeling like you know, everything caved in. You had missed your come up, you know, you had missed your opportunity for promotion. Uh and everybody else uh everybody else's life is going on. I remember what you did. Yes, you were bitter. Um, yes, you were angry, uh, but no bitch, I was mad.

SPEAKER_00 27:50

You're mad.

SPEAKER_01 27:51

But but but but I remember when you decided to pivot. And it was just like you dug your heels in and you said, okay, I have licked my wounds, I've cried, I've cussed, you know, I've cursed everything. But now it's time for me to pivot and figure this thing out and figure out the what next. And that was the moment that literally you decided that you was gonna be an entrepreneur, you know, and my power back. And you you took your power back and you started style with pride, which was you know something that you've always enjoyed of fashion and fashion styling, personal styling, et cetera, et cetera. You started even um selling clothes. And and so I I remember in my support of you, um, of you would vend on weekends, and literally it would be like we would pack up all of these clothes like literally four day in the morning, and uh drive to wherever city that you were gonna vend in. And then we would have to take all the clothes out, set up the racks, put the stuff on display, you know.

SPEAKER_00 29:10

Just hearing about it, I feel like 12 years of slate.

SPEAKER_01 29:13

Yes, uh, yes, uh, you know, uh argue with people about what they were or were not gonna pay. And, you know, in that moment for me, it's like this duality of I had my own practice, I'm a lawyer. But in this moment, you know, I am here to support my spouse.

SPEAKER_00 29:36

This is not about and you did, yeah, and you didn't make it a power struggle, and I think we both learned through that that power wasn't about dominance. In that moment, it was like power is about discipline, yeah. And we both and support. Yeah, discipline and support. And so we came to that and was like, you know, we we both have the mindset to it's not a power struggle. You're not in charge, I'm not in charge. We are two disciplined adults that are here supporting each other.

SPEAKER_01 30:07

So and so literally, I remember sometimes coming back from it would be like a day full of vending, and you know how our people are, you know, and it's a fight, it could be a fight sometimes, and you know, literally paying$150,$250 as the vending fee, and more than likely not even making that. But look at us now. We did it with a smile. Well, we're moving on.

Dope Or Nope Marriage Rules

SPEAKER_00 30:42

So I know it's you know, this conversation could be touchy and feely and take us back. So I created a little game for us. Okay, all right. It's called Dope or Nope. All right, I'm with it. Let me see what you think about it. Okay, let's go. Joint bank accounts, dope or nope, dope. Oh, I was about to say, don't even play. See, see, see, you threaten joint bank accounts. I'm going in it. Sharing passwords. Dope. Oh, really? Full passwords.

SPEAKER_01 31:21

I don't have nothing to hide. You think everybody will share their password? Uh it's not about everybody. This is about you and I. And for us, if at the moment that we committed to each other, is it's full transparency.

SPEAKER_00 31:36

So I got a password that I don't want to share.

SPEAKER_01 31:39

Well, why not?

SPEAKER_00 31:40

I may, you know, just want to keep that thing. What hidden in your heart? Hidden in your heart. Deep in my heart, deep in my spirit. I don't want you to have it. For what? I mean, I don't know. It may just be something that I feel like, okay, yeah, we married, but do we have to share everything like absolutely, yeah, absolutely, absolutely. Every last single password.

SPEAKER_01 32:06

Uh uh, I'm not saying that I'm gonna tap into the account or whatever, but I don't feel like there should be anything that's like with restrictions on it, and you can't do this and you can't know.

SPEAKER_00 32:18

I just think that, you know, in a relationship, you can be with somebody, and because you trust them, you may not want or need access to every to everything. Right.

SPEAKER_01 32:30

But it doesn't mean that I'm gonna actually access it, but there should not be any type of, you know, you feeling some type of way about just saying what the password is.

SPEAKER_00 32:42

Well, I think for that one, I'm kind of like in the middle, so I'm gonna say I'm like, the nope. Uh posting every anniversary.

SPEAKER_01 32:56

Okay, so this is my thing about posting. Oh my god. This is my thing about posting is uh it's not, you know, I get social media anxiety in a way uh when it comes to posting, be a lot of overthinking in my mind. But my thing is this, okay, realistically, do we love each other in reality? Like for true, for true. In real life. And I should not feel hesitant about telling the outside world, I love you. And this is what you mean to me. Um, but sometimes I do know in the social media world that people who like they do all this posting and what's going on in the background is completely different than the post.

SPEAKER_00 33:41

I agree with that part, but I also can honestly say when people post their loved one on social media, I think for some it gives them some type of reassurance, like a reassurance, and this may sound crazy, but it gives some people this reassurance like, oh, she or he must really love me. Like he wants the world or she wants the world to know they're not ashamed of me, they're not hiding me, they're not putting me in the background because and think about the the woman's mind. If somebody says, I don't want to post you, or I don't want to post our celebration, or our anniversary, our birthday, what's the first thing gonna come to your mind? Just what are you trying to hide? What you trying to hide, and who else out there you seeing or dating, and you don't want that person to know that I exist. So it becomes this battle of yeah, we know we love each other, but I'm gonna be real. I want everybody else to know you love me too. So you're gonna post me on your anniversary. You're gonna post me even on your birthday. On your birthday, you're gonna tell them how much you love me on your birthday.

SPEAKER_01 34:51

I mean, it gets worse and worse.

SPEAKER_00 34:59

Oh goodness. So your answer for champ ass works is oh, I'm sorry. Posting anniversaries or any celebration.

SPEAKER_01 35:11

Your answer is no, it's fine, it's fine with me. My only caveat is this for me, it's fine because it's true. I can imagine my my my my comment to the outside world and to our viewers is this if it's not true, don't post.

SPEAKER_00 35:30

Oh, you just set some people up saying to thine own self be true. Therapy in one year, dope or nope. Dope. I say dope as well. Honestly, I say do therapy when you need it. It doesn't necessarily have to be one year because six weeks in, I you know, I could go through a phase where I'm ready to kick down the dough. And I may need to talk to somebody real quick. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:58

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The only thing is therapy by a trained person. If something were going on with your heart or you medically, I would not go to Homeboy down the street on my cousin and try to get a diagnosis from my cousin. So my thing is always just go to a licensed professional of this is what they've been trained to do. Because otherwise, it can be a situation of the blind leading the blind, and that's all I'm saying.

SPEAKER_00 36:27

Oh. So see a trained therapist.

SPEAKER_01 36:30

Right.

SPEAKER_00 36:31

What about arguing in front of family? Dope or nope.

SPEAKER_01 36:37

I feel like I'm being set up.

SPEAKER_00 36:39

Not a setup.

SPEAKER_01 36:41

It's not a setup. You know, uh, things happen. Things happen.

SPEAKER_00 36:47

Um but some families you got to be, you know. You gotta be real careful, you gotta be careful arguing in front of them, because you may look up and they knuck if you book.

SPEAKER_01 36:57

But no, not that. Um what I'm my hesitation is this. Um, you know, we all people, and things happen and our emotions flare and things like that. Um, I don't think it's a good idea to argue in front of family because they will hang on to your every word. And you know, things will be, you know, good with us. We make up and they still hanging on to something that was said or whatever, whatever.

SPEAKER_00 37:33

That's true.

SPEAKER_01 37:34

Um, so yeah, you gotta be real careful with that. I would say no.

SPEAKER_00 37:39

And see, for me, it's hard for me to hide how I really feel.

SPEAKER_01 37:46

Do I already know?

SPEAKER_00 37:47

And so for me, it's like it's back to you remember being little, your mama say where you act up at, where you show all that, that's where you're gonna get it at. So it's kind of like if I'm mad and something sets me off, I can't hold it in until we not around family. Because what if we around family for the next two, three days? I got to hold this in for 72 hours. That's when we meet in the battery. 48 hours for four hours.

SPEAKER_01 38:11

That's when we meet in the bathroom or the garage. No. And talk that thing out.

SPEAKER_00 38:14

But see, I know how you are, and I already talk loud anyway. You be like, bring it down some. They out there, they can hear us, and then that makes me mad. So now I'm times 10. So yeah, it's that's that's a hard one for me because I don't hide my emotions very well. I'm working on it though. Area growth, the area challenge. Hey, you're not perfect.

SPEAKER_01 38:36

I haven't improved, you're not perfect. You have improved, you have improved significantly. You have improved.

SPEAKER_00 38:43

Okay, I see. We need to move on because you said it's an area of growth.

SPEAKER_01 38:49

Yeah, you still, you know, you you are you're a knuck if you buck her. Oh, okay.

A New Era Of Hard Truths

SPEAKER_00 38:54

Well, thank you. So now we're moving into like this new era for us, this new era of the podcast. We've kind of like exposed ourselves. And I know this is new for you. Um, I feel like I've always been an open book. For you, it's always been, you know, very private, very secluded. Just I'm just meal, just trying to just marry, just marry, just marry.

SPEAKER_01 39:24

I'm just trying to work.

SPEAKER_00 39:26

I'm just trying to work and do my thing. Yeah. But now we see that there is a need for um our podcast to talk about a lot of different things, not just, you know, us being married, married couples, relationship goals, uh, but somebody got to talk about the hard truths. Yeah, uh, we got to have these serious cultural conversations, the things we've learned.

SPEAKER_01 39:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:51

Things that we've learned. The hard way. Hot topics. Um, we may want to talk about love, business, and ambition. There's a lot that I feel like this this whole new era of the podcast is going to cover and help people, as well as healing, because we know what we needed during our time. And we've had a lot of hurt and healing over the years, and hurt and healing over the years. And hurt and hurt and healing over the years. So I'm definitely looking forward to um this this new era and everything that we're doing because it's it's much needed. Yeah. Yeah. And I really feel like people are going to to benefit a lot from it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:37

So yeah, yeah. It's definitely, you know, uh a struggle for me to open up that way, uh, particularly given, you know, my background and my upbringing of kind of being really closed in. Uh, but I think that that's that's growth. Absolutely. Um, that's maturity. And I think that's all that's also responsibility, you know, of you come to a point in life where, you know, you've lived a bit of life, you've you've you've been through some things. And so, you know, it's time, it is time to kind of go tell it on a mountain. Uh, and just over the hills and everywhere. I know you were going there. That PK and you, but to be able to share out with people your experiences because a lot of folks are going through the same thing. So, you know, you're not alone.

Next Week Tease And Goodbye

SPEAKER_00 41:27

Well, the wedding was a chapter. Now, here's the podcast. The podcast is kind of like our book. So, next week we're gonna talk about some things that people try to avoid. People don't want to talk about, don't want to hear about, but I think we gotta talk about it. We gotta get into it. Yeah. So, next week we're talking about does success make relationships harder? So, stay tuned. Stay dope. Stay dope. See you next time.