Bare Minimum Or Real Effort

Bare minimum” is supposed to be a boundary, but what happens when it becomes a weapon? We dig into the real cost of treating every act of love as something you’re automatically owed and how that mindset kills gratitude fast. From paying bills to opening doors to random Tuesday gifts, we talk about why effort still matters when it’s freely chosen, and why feeling unappreciated can make even good partners stop showing up.

We also get into modern dating expectations and the way social media ramps them up: soft life fantasies, vacation pressure, push gifts, and the constant message that there’s always someone “better” one swipe away. That leads straight into transactional dating, perfection chasing, and shaky commitment, where people keep climbing floors looking for a flawless partner who doesn’t exist. The deeper fix is simpler and harder at the same time: honest communication, shared values, and emotional safety that lets both people be real without fear it’ll be used against them later.

Then we switch it up with our Dope or Nope game and debate big questions: Can you love someone and still not be ready? Does the right person require change? Should you ever feel confused when someone wants you? How you argue says a lot, and we unpack why words said in anger can stick for years.

If you’re navigating modern relationships, dating standards, and what respect really means, this one will hit. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave us a review with the hottest take you agreed or disagreed with.

Transcript

Bare Minimum Versus Choosing Someone

SPEAKER_07 0:01

Anything that I choose to do for you, that's not bare minimum. That's me choosing you. Because I could do this for anybody, but I choose to do it for you.

SPEAKER_05 0:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 0:12

So when you say bare minimum, if a man is going out every day working hard, paying bills, and you say that's bare minimum, well, get your f up and go live by yourself. And I pay my bills by myself, and I live by myself.

SPEAKER_03 0:52

Everybody has a different take on what a relationship is. Me personally, I don't cook. I I'm I'm not getting so I'm not getting in the kitchen.

SPEAKER_07 1:04

Those things we talking. Cooking is for me. I can't speak for every man because some men love home cooked meals.

SPEAKER_03 1:11

Well, and for some men, some women do. When I walk in my door, you respect me because there's a meal on the table. So you don't. You don't.

SPEAKER_07 1:21

It's a meal.

SPEAKER_03 1:22

But there, but there are men.

SPEAKER_07 1:28

The men's and the women's have to be fed. That's how I'm looking at things. You have to find someone that's like-minded.

SPEAKER_03 1:34

Because for some women, I'm gonna come in, I'm gonna respect you because you paid a bill today. So now, guess what?

SPEAKER_07 1:44

No woman, let me let me be careful on how I say this time. I don't think too many women nowadays respect a man that pays bills. I don't think so. Right now, everything is bare minimum. That's their favorite line now. Bare minimum, bare minimum. Nothing's bare minimum. It's a choice.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

Oh, wait. So you're saying, I want to make sure I heard you correctly. You said that you don't think women nowadays respect a man that pays bills.

SPEAKER_07 2:11

Why? Because everything is bare minimum. If you look at some of these interviews with these women, everything is bare minimal. Nothing is bare minimal. What you mean by that?

SPEAKER_03 2:20

I gotta disagree with that because I see a lot of women on social media. Everybody is talking about I'm in my soft girl. This is my soft life. Take me on vacation. So we're finna get a crazy crazy crazy play trip.

SPEAKER_07 2:31

We're finna get a little crazy. It's gonna get a little crazy.

SPEAKER_03 2:34

I'm confused.

SPEAKER_07 2:34

They'll say that soft girl era, and then be at the house terrorizing, and you're not doing this, and you're not doing that, you're not doing this, and you're not doing that. Nowadays, especially the younger generation, everything is bare minimum. And when I say when they say bare minimum, they had this little list a man paying bills, bare minimum, he's supposed to do that. A man doing bare minimum for the floor. I get what you're saying. I get what you're saying. He's supposed to do it. A man open the door for you, bare minimum. No, sweetheart, that's a choice. Because I choose to do that for you.

SPEAKER_01 3:11

And that's to to me, that's that's one of the you know, manifestations of love. If I'm if I'm out here hustling and I'm hustling the pay bills, you know, to I call them little Tuesday gifts just because, you know, and it's Tuesday, you know, you know, it's a little Tuesday gift, but you know, it's it's love. It's love. So that's not bare minimum.

SPEAKER_07 3:35

Anything that I choose to do for you, that's not bare minimum. That's me choosing you. Because I could do this for anybody, but I choose to do it for you.

SPEAKER_05 3:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 3:46

So when you say bare minimum, if a man is going out every day working hard, paying bills, and you say that's bare minimum, well, get your ass up and go live by yourself. And I pay my bills by myself, and I live by myself. Just like when you talk about just like the Tuesday gifts, you're looking at somebody on social media. Let's take go back. The push gifts. Let's talk about a push gift. I'm a little older. I ain't gonna tell you how old I am. You know you know.

SPEAKER_01 4:17

If you know you know, right.

SPEAKER_07 4:19

A push gift is like the standard now. So I'm giving you this expensive gift because you're birthing our our child. Sooner or later, that's gonna be a bare minimum. Yo, you're supposed to do that.

SPEAKER_03 4:35

Because I'm the birthday.

SPEAKER_07 4:36

Yeah, I'm I'm the one putting my life in danger and I'm doing all these things, and you just like, well, damn, what? I do a lot of things. You know what I'm saying? So most men nowadays, you don't feel appreciated.

SPEAKER_01 4:50

Yeah, so so okay.

Gifts Respect And Feeling Appreciated

SPEAKER_01 4:52

So don't you find that it aren't these some of the things that should be discussed, like in that introduction period of things, you know, and I know people put on they they mask, yeah, you know, of that first six months, year, I think two years is all fun, great. I think really after like year three, that's when the ish gets real, and you start seeing a little bit more of who actually they are.

SPEAKER_07 5:20

But you're again with me saying what I said earlier. Dang, I wanna be. I know y'all finna kill me in it. I gotta sit down and talk to you like a child. Oh, it's not talking to us like a child, bro. You know what we're doing. You know what we're doing. Like, I don't want to have to sit down and talk to this grown woman that understands life and we getting together to make life easier on each other. Now I got to sit down and explain to you how to make life easy on me.

SPEAKER_03 5:55

Do you think, let me ask you this, and hey, you know, again, this is to Dope Chicks Podcast. If you don't want to answer, just be like, hey, stop there. Do you think that it could be a generational thing and that maybe if you came back, came back to this generation, that things would be a little bit different.

SPEAKER_07 6:20

I was in IHOP just yesterday morning. Yeah, IHOP. I was in IHOP.

SPEAKER_03 6:28

I don't think she was talking about IHOP. That question.

SPEAKER_07 6:31

I hear, I hear you, and I'm with you. I was in IHOP yesterday morning, and I'm in IHOP right before class eating. And the lady behind me was in there by herself eating, and she had to be all of 50 plus. She's on the phone, and you would have thought if you didn't look back, you would have thought she was 20 years old how she was talking. I don't think it's a generational and the father and all that good stuff. That's what that is. And again, there's nobody on this planet earth that's perfect. But at the end of the day, again, you know what the hell you're supposed to be doing. Why do I you say you don't want me to treat you like my child, but I gotta sit down and have this conversation with you like a child. You're an adult. When you step into a relationship and you say you can you're in a committed relationship, you've been around this person for so long, you know this person like the back of your hand. Why do I have to tell you what you're supposed to be doing?

SPEAKER_03 7:43

Because sometimes you have to show people, model, um, explain how to, and and let's just be real. Our everything about us changes over time. Something that I may have liked last year, I may not like that anymore, but you may not know that I don't like it anymore. So you may still feel like, oh, you know, I'm gonna do this, and she may like that. And I'm like, uh, so I I've kind of outgrown that, but that's where the effective communication comes in at too. But and knowing your partner.

SPEAKER_07 8:20

I get it.

SPEAKER_03 8:20

Um because we we could we continue it to evolve.

SPEAKER_07 8:24

Yeah, women, y'all gonna be mad at me again. Y'all hard as hell. Okay. So for a man, we're simple. Some things is just gonna be the same, it's just simple. Y'all are changing every second.

SPEAKER_03 8:41

I think men um do as well. You you all just don't acknowledge it and you don't notice it as much.

SPEAKER_07 8:47

So with you saying that we change, and if we do, I'm not putting that burden on you. So for instance, if there's some new things that I like and you don't pick up on them, I'm not catching a fit because you didn't pick up on them. Right. Women will play a game with you, they'll do something to see if you picked up on it. And if you didn't pick up on it, oh you're not paying attention to me, you don't like me like you say you do, you don't love me like you say you do. It's this standing third. Men are so simple. When I'm I'm sorry, we are so simple.

SPEAKER_03 9:25

Y'all are so simple that you extremely complicated. No, y'all complicated. That's why you can left y'all. That's why I left y'all a long time ago.

SPEAKER_01 9:36

I feel like it boils down the communication. I think I think two things that I'm hearing here, okay. A lot of this really boils down to she, like, I'm not even gonna acknowledge it. I'm not gonna do it with you. I'm not gonna do it with you. Is it boils down to authentic, honest, transparent communication of mean what you say and say what you mean?

SPEAKER_07 10:03

Right. So when you're saying the communication, I agree with the communication. Okay, we can talk, but again, why some of these women not all of you, some of you. I'm a grown ass woman and I know this and I know that and I know this and I know that. Like I seen this this real the other day, and he was like, Your intuition can tell you when he's cheating, but it can't tell you when he's doing good things and he loves you and he's doing it. So you're gonna act when it makes you feel like well you have to turn that switch.

SPEAKER_03 10:37

You know, you have to turn that switch from intuition from positive to negative.

SPEAKER_07 10:42

They don't, it's always on negative, it's always on negative. Me, I'm I'm simple. When I say simple, my one of the things I say all the time, stop making life hard because it's already harder.

Communication Logic And Emotional Safety

SPEAKER_07 10:53

Stop bringing people into your life that's making your life harder because it's already hard. Why am I why do I have you here with me?

SPEAKER_01 11:02

Right.

SPEAKER_07 11:03

And I'm not gonna hit you with the black man. We got to go out here and fight against the police. I ain't finna hit you with all that because So do we.

SPEAKER_03 11:11

We do too.

SPEAKER_07 11:12

We all do.

SPEAKER_03 11:13

I mean, we fight against not just the police, against everybody.

SPEAKER_07 11:16

We all do it to a certain extent. So I'm not gonna hit you with that. What I'm saying is you can lose your job, you can lose everything.

SPEAKER_01 11:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 11:27

And the person that's supposed to be there for you. Oh, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:34

But you know what?

SPEAKER_01 11:35

This is this is, you know, this is this is what we do. This is about real talk because we real people, and we all have, you know, these personalities that, you know, are public personalities, but we literally are sitting grappling with real stuff, you know, just a couple of weeks ago as I share my real stuff of the things that, you know, I'm privately going through. Um, and so I appreciate your courage um because you know, there's men who are going through things that are being hurt, um, and you're just trying to do your best to figure it out.

SPEAKER_07 12:24

I won't even use the word hurt. You're just looking at things and you're saying, why? Why? Make it make sense. Like, what are we doing? And then when you look back at life, you're doing all of this and we've been through all of this. This should just make us even stronger. So when you say that in a relation, when I'm when I'm pertaining to a relationship, how can I say this? You don't I'm at a loss for words. You just it don't make sense. Like women so uh emotional driven and feel feeling driven, and it's just like where's the logic? Like you're sitting right here. This where's the logic? You're just feelings, feelings, feelings, feelings, feelings. You know I can wake up tomorrow and feel like shit. But I understand that this bill still gotta be paid, still gotta go get the kids from school, still gotta go do this, still gotta do that, still gotta do this. So guess what? I'm not finna I'm gonna I'm not gonna let that feeling control me or how I treat other people. I've I used to work with this this young lady and I always say, boy, I know I know that dude back at the highs going through it. Because she would get mad at work and take it out on everybody at work. Um this is when I was at Walgreens, lady would get mad at her husband and then come to work, and everybody under her would feel it. Um, and one of the comedians said it. If the woman's not, let's go here. Happy life. Happy life. Boom. That is not right. So when you think about uh, and I'm not finna hit you with the old men got the highest suicide rating, this, that, and third, some of us are stronger than others.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

And I think it's it's it's tougher for um, I don't know if it's tougher, but I think that society-wise, it can be more challenging for men to be very authentic uh because they are concerned about, you know, looking like they're soft. It's not about being soft, it's about being real, you know?

SPEAKER_07 14:43

It's not about being soft. We don't sit and say, oh, they're gonna look at me as being soft. You look at it and say, Are you gonna use this against me later on? Are you gonna throw this in my face later on? Are you gonna use it against me?

SPEAKER_03 14:57

No, you it's not a safe space then.

SPEAKER_07 14:58

It's that's that's back to that emotional safety, yeah. But you're thinking, okay, this is the this is my person. I can be open with this person, I can say things, I can cry in front of this person, but years later, it's brought back to use against you. And that's why men are like, I'm not telling you a damn thing. I'm a closed book because I know sooner or later you're gonna use this in some way, shape, or form to benefit you against me. So that's why, man, it's not about oh, I look soft and all this good stuff. You can display your feelings to a woman and in that moment, she may be like, it's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay. But as soon as, right, she's taking notes, as soon as things are not going exactly the way she wants them to go, you remember you said you just like, god damn it, I shouldn't have.

SPEAKER_03 16:02

I just want to see relationships again where people feel together. I don't think it's possible. Like you said, when you've lost everything, when I've lost my job, when my family's not talking to me, when I don't know where the next paycheck is gonna come from. How I feel, and I think we just had this conversation the other night. We were talking about how it's easier to get through stuff that's happening out here when home base is silent.

SPEAKER_01 16:34

It's it's it's the old expression of you can't be catching hell everywhere, you can't be catching hell on your job, yeah, in your house, you know, in your family is is there has to be a place of peace.

SPEAKER_03 16:46

If I'm catching hell on the job, I'm gonna come home to some peace, a shoulder to crowd, somebody that understands.

SPEAKER_07 16:54

I'm just a shoulder to crowd on. Just just just I know in this space I'm good. Your time in this space, I'm good. All in all, like I said, with when it comes to relationships, bro, you 2026.

Perfection Hunting And Transactional Dating

SPEAKER_07 17:12

I don't know if it's possible because I see young ladies post it all the time. Girl, always know it's something out there better. And I think that's the ugliest thing to say because you literally just That's so bad. It's I don't even know how to say this. You literally just if this person not doing it, another person will. Okay, so when this person stopped doing it, then you gotta go find another person. Then you just boom, boom, boom, and then you're not realize transactional, you're getting older. Yeah, you're getting older. So are you ever gonna, you know what I'm saying? And then what you have to realize is no one on earth is perfect. So you're right. If I pick you, if I choose you, I'm willing to deal with your imperfect ways and things of that nature. So women nowadays, and we're not just talking the younger generation, because the older generation is doing it too. It's not a generational thing, it's a woman like how you will raise your values, your morals. And I'm not saying it's like, oh, all men are just running around faithful. I told y'all off top. We meet you, we look at you, damn. I want to feel that. I'm trying to be PG. I want to feel that. Boom. We start talking to you, we end up liking you. Like you, but I don't know just yet. I don't know. Boom. Let me clear this roster because I'm gonna choose you. And if a man clears his roster and chooses you, oh, he's locked in. You can get anything from him, you can get anything under the sun. Women don't realize you pick me. That's what they say. I ain't gonna pick me, I'm gonna pick me. Y'all are the ones that like marriage driven. It's not a lot of men that's like, before I die, I gotta get married. Women, that's like a that's like graduating from college type.

SPEAKER_03 19:05

Some women, because I know a lot of women that's just like, you know, I'm good, I'm okay. Now I can take care of myself. Now um, I'm happy where I am. Now I do want company here and there because we all deserve some type of companionship.

SPEAKER_07 19:20

That's now that's most I say this all the time. When you see a pretty girl on social media, and y'all, I'm gonna catch flat for this. Every time I see a pretty girl on social media and she's single, I always say to myself, something ain't right. I always say it. If she's drop dead gorgeous and she's single, something ain't right.

SPEAKER_03 19:38

You made me cough on this one.

SPEAKER_07 19:41

Something ain't right.

SPEAKER_03 19:43

And I don't know what that is.

SPEAKER_07 19:44

If you see a pretty girl on social media and she's single, and she's single, something is not right.

SPEAKER_03 19:54

Well, you know, I'm gonna say this, because you know, I'm not gonna side with the female all the time just because I am a female, but I do know in the reverse, as a female, when we see males on anywhere, social media, out and about, and they're single, never been married, no kids, we automatically say they what?

SPEAKER_01 20:20

I don't say nothing. And that's a good thing.

SPEAKER_07 20:26

It is a problem. That's another problem in the world today where a man, I just saw this girl said, if a man uses his blanker when he's turning, he's gay. Gay, what that's how serious it is. So you mean to tell me just stick your arm out.

SPEAKER_02 20:50

This means left turn, this means right turn, and this means coming to a stop and slowing down.

SPEAKER_07 20:58

A real man ain't using no blank of the time. So what you gonna do?

Sponsor Break

SPEAKER_07 21:06

Bitch, it is. So you literally sit here saying, I am done.

SPEAKER_00 21:11

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The 10th Floor Myth And Commitment

SPEAKER_07 21:27

I I was just talking to my mom on the way over here, and I was telling her about I don't know if y'all ever heard the story about the like 10-floor building, and in the building, it's a it's a department store of men. And the women can go in a department store. And on each floor, the man gets better and better and better. And every woman went in that department store and wanted to go up to the very, very top floor.

SPEAKER_03 21:54

Oh, and they want to start from the bottom.

SPEAKER_07 21:55

And they just want it at the bottom floor, the man had a job, you know. Have no kids, he he just wasn't good at sex. Do you want to move to the next floor? Yeah, let's move to the next floor. And it just got better and better and better. And on that 10th floor, there were no men up there. All women went all the way to the 10th floor to be with themselves. Be with themselves.

SPEAKER_03 22:18

Because again, I found you on the 10th floor.

SPEAKER_07 22:22

Because they're literally looking for a perfect person. And you don't exist. They don't exist. So you're gonna lack somewhere. You a human, you can hear you. You write about that.

SPEAKER_01 22:35

You you you you write that that that there's like, you know, everything I'm hearing, I'm just listening. And to me, is I I just am one that's crazy enough to believe that for all of the things that have been taught, uh, for whatever reason, from you know, our churches to our families, uh, whatever, whatever is we uh are more alike than we are different. Uh and pain is pain, maturity is maturity, communication is communication, expectation is expectation. Um, but we just gotta do better by each other.

SPEAKER_07 23:10

I think nowadays is more of like you said, uh transactional, and they literally, you know, people, not just men or women, people literally see a person and say, What can I get out of this? You know what I'm saying? And then they get what they can get out of it, and then when they're done with it, they're done with it. But different people, different stuff where I put in all this time, I want to see something come out of this. So I'm going right back to DJing. Yes, I'm a very popular DJ here in Jacksonville, but the world needs to see me. You know what I'm saying? So I have to keep going to get there. I'm not just gonna give up because it's not happening for me right now, and I feel like, oh, it's not happening. That's the same perspective I use in relationships. Just because it's not happening right now doesn't mean it's not going to happen. It's that that story where they say you stopped and the blessing was finna come the next day, and you stopped. You just stopped.

SPEAKER_03 24:08

Or you drive behind the door, or you driving and you pull over because it's storming so bad. But if you would have just drove up one more little exit, rain would have stopped. Rain would have stopped, and there's the sunshine.

SPEAKER_07 24:19

So that's why I always say when I committed to DJing, it's the same if I feel like with my relationship. Like once I commit, I'm there. Yeah, we get it. Swag, you ain't married, you ain't getting no rain, this, this, that, and the third. I'm sorry, ladies. That is a title. That is a beautiful Cinderella, all that. We know that's what y'all, what really makes y'all feel good. I get it. But at the end of the day, can we rock together? Can we do this together without without the title and all that good stuff? Because again, when I get married, it's gonna be one time. So you can't wake up and say, you know what, I'm in a different place in life, and we just no, sweetheart.

SPEAKER_03 25:04

Well, I I did it twice.

SPEAKER_07 25:05

I I mean to you just on when I do it, it's better the second time around. It's over. I'm sorry, you here, sweetheart. You can't go nowhere. And if you try, I'm gonna make it hard for you. And you can call me psycho, you can call me crazy, whatever you want. But if let's be religious on this, we're standing before God saying we're gonna do this forever. And then we wake up the one morning and say, you know what? We're in different spaces in life right now. You know, we just need to, and people just make it so easy. Yeah, girl, you know, and that's the thing I I realize about women too. Y'all be telling y'all homegirls whatever they want to hear. Y'all homegirls come to y'all with it, man. Y'all, I mean, y'all look a little more mature and and and not to hear.

SPEAKER_01 25:52

Can't leave her right there, I'll leave her.

SPEAKER_07 25:55

Right. You go to your homegirl and your home true story.

SPEAKER_03 26:01

Oh Lord.

SPEAKER_07 26:02

I got a friend. She be on that craziness, right? When I say craziness, she meets a dude, have sex with a dude, now she in love with the dude.

SPEAKER_03 26:14

So we have a word for that, a vocabulary word for that.

SPEAKER_07 26:18

But it is what it is. Um she comes to me, she's asked me for my advice about a dude, and I'm keeping it blood raw. Blood raw. And homegirl comes over and joins our conversation. And everything that I'm saying, the homegirl is rebutting. No girl, you a girl. And that don't make it right because you a girl. You know what I'm saying? So you doing all that crazy stuff is pushing him away. And you trying to wonder why this man ain't messing with you, you trying to wonder why this man ain't dealing with you. I'm I'm a man. I'm telling you why he, because if it was me, I would be doing the same thing. Homegirl, nah, girl. You show him you what are you showing him? You crazy? So I'm sitting here saying, I end up talking to her by herself. I said, Your homegirl giving you the advice that you want to hear as a woman. Yeah, I'm giving you the advice that you that you need. And I see it all the time where they know their homegirl did as wrong, but they're gonna say that's not a friend. That's not a friend.

SPEAKER_03 27:25

I'm gonna say this, and because I know we're very mature, I'm just gonna say very mature, and we have some very mature friends, and there are still some good, wholesome, God-fearing, intelligent, sophisticated, fun, loving, loyal women out there that want and desire to be in a relationship.

Age Gaps Status Traps And Protecting Yourself

SPEAKER_03 27:54

However, they're afraid, they're carrying baggage, they're hurt. And also they're looking at the men now in today's time because women of a certain age may look a certain way or may not have the stamina or what all the, you know, the um men are saying, you know, I find it fun over here. It's more desirable over here, so I'm gonna stay over here on this side. So it's leaving these women over here that are in their 40s, 45, 50s. Uh where are the men at for them? Because the men that's 40, 45, 50, guess where they are? In the DM. No, tell me, guess where they are? They're with they're with the 20s. I wouldn't say they with 25. I'm not gonna say they're with. They're not with them, but that's what they're looking for.

SPEAKER_07 28:51

The babies. You're putting it on age. I'm gonna say this because my relationship has an age gap, a very big age gap. When I went into that, I didn't go into that saying she's young. I went into that saying I'm attracted to her. Simple.

SPEAKER_03 29:07

And the heart doesn't reason.

SPEAKER_07 29:08

Right. I I and then when when when you know you start sitting down thinking, damn, we are young older, we are, oh Jesus Christ. But not speaking for all men, because I know certain men really targets younger women.

SPEAKER_03 29:23

Um they want to feel young, or they can manipulate, they can control.

SPEAKER_07 29:29

That's wrong. Oh that's wrong. Stop it.

SPEAKER_03 29:31

Did he give me the finger? May have a few less stretch marks than he gets.

SPEAKER_07 29:36

I can go with what you said.

SPEAKER_03 29:38

Not all, not all marked moms that have stretched.

SPEAKER_07 29:43

You cannot control none of these women these days, none of these young girls will be controlled. They will get you. Look what they just did to Shannon Sharp. I said what I said.

SPEAKER_01 29:54

What they did?

SPEAKER_07 29:55

Time out. Let's let's get it done. Let me cross my legs.

SPEAKER_01 30:00

They did it.

SPEAKER_07 30:01

He was taking care of her, uh-huh. Right?

SPEAKER_01 30:04

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_07 30:04

Paying her a whole lot of money, uh-huh. Just as company. Uh-huh. When she felt it convenient, and I'm gonna say this because she set him up. You can say what you want, feel how you she set him up. I don't know how you looked at it, but that was a clean setup and a money grab. You ain't heard nothing from that girl. Don't don't give me a that's a little, that's a little, let's sauce, Santana. Um but she set him up for that money grab. And I'm saying this because I know I'm I hate that it goes this way. I'm a local celebrity, I'm a local status. I don't have millions.

SPEAKER_03 30:52

Yes, yes, yet.

SPEAKER_07 30:54

But certain females will do things to trap you and get you in a in a hole that you can't get out of. Oh, you're a grown man, you shouldn't know better. Yeah, we get it. But at the end of the day, if this female is showing me that she messed with me and she's showing me Shannon Sharp, I'm 50-something years old. I got this fine little white girl kissing, hugging me, making me feel good and all this good stuff. And this little $10,000 I'm giving her from here to there, it's not hurting me in no way, shape, or form. I bet that man never thought in a million years that she was gonna set him up like that. In a million years. So when you say manipulate, no older man is not not now, maybe back in the 90s, maybe back in 88. Now the women are seeing that they have that type of power. Where, and when I say power, boom, okay, I know I can get you. Shannon Sharp put himself in the hole that he can't get out of. That's why when you look at a Floyd Mayweather, I remember this like the back of my hand, came to Jacksonville, and he was he wanted to deal with this certain woman when he came to Jacksonville. He did not talk to her. He sent his manager over to talk to her. And the reason why I know this, because I'm I'm close to this young lady. He sent this manager over to talk to her. They were going to Orlando for the next stop. They wanted her to come out to Orlando and then they were going to fly to Bahamas, right? She had to sign an NDA and she had to do a background check. She's a felon. When her background check came back, can't go to Bahamas. You can't mess. I can't mess with you. That's what you have to do as a man nowadays, especially if you got some money or status, because you will genuinely think these women are messing with you because they like you.

SPEAKER_01 32:42

Oh, they're coming up on that. Yeah, messing with you because it's a it's a good giveaway. I mean, you literally got God.

SPEAKER_07 32:48

You um Jesus. Yeah. He got God. He got got. Well, at the end of the day, he's looking at it like, damn, I didn't, I can, I don't even know that man, but I can guarantee you he's sitting there saying, Damn, I never thought it would be you. I thought that's what we did. So those conversations you hear, because there's some women out there that like to be talked to like that turns them on. That conversation, that's probably what they do.

SPEAKER_01 33:14

Yeah, I think I think I just was on the transactional stuff.

SPEAKER_07 33:17

Yeah, that's what the world is now. That's what the world is now. So when you say we have the the church going women and all that good stuff, Hallelujah. Yeah, amen.

SPEAKER_01 33:27

Yeah, everybody can.

SPEAKER_03 33:28

I will say this maybe the problem isn't love, maybe it's just how we all show up in it. Yeah, so I know we've been talking a lot and we've been going heavy.

Dope Or Nope Relationship Hot Takes

SPEAKER_03 33:41

This is good. During our podcast, we always play this game, dope or nope. Dope or no or nope. Okay, and so we always ask our guests, or we ask each other dope or nope. Do you think it's dope? And if you don't, it's a nope. Dope or nope, you could genuinely love someone and still not be ready for a relationship. Dope. Dope. Dope. Dope or nope. The right person will require you to change. Oh, you set up on that one. Why is that?

SPEAKER_07 34:15

When again, when you with somebody that you really want to be with, you're willing to do whatever it takes to be with them. So if they need some things to be changed, and we're talking things that are not not you finna change my whole way of thinking. And you need some things to be changed, you need me to move a little different. Yeah, no problem. I can do that.

SPEAKER_03 34:35

Especially when you know it's for a good reason.

SPEAKER_07 34:37

A good reason. It's your growth. Right, right. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_03 34:40

You make me better.

SPEAKER_07 34:42

Yeah, there it is. Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_03 34:44

Dope and nope. If someone wants you, you'll never feel confused about it.

SPEAKER_01 34:48

Wait, if someone wants you, you'll never feel confused about it.

SPEAKER_07 34:56

Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.

SPEAKER_03 34:59

Why do you keep saying nope like that?

SPEAKER_07 35:03

Every day. I'm with you for 20 years. We're gonna have some days when we we we in this house, we chilling. And you may feel like I have no interest in you. No, bro, I love you.

SPEAKER_03 35:16

But today and you're gonna be able to do it. But today just one of them days.

SPEAKER_07 35:18

I just want to chill. I just want to sit out in this garage and just chill. It has nothing to do with you, but women, they tend to think, oh, he don't want me no more. Or they get in their head. He don't love me like he used to. We've been together for 20 years, baby. It's not gonna be like it was when we first met. And don't let these people lie to you on social media talking about, oh, we've been together for 20 years, and it's just like the first day we met. How? Lying. Lie. Right. So at the end of the day, no. If a person wants you, you're gonna be confused. Y'all get confused if the day ain't right. It rained outside. You don't want me no more, do you? I don't control the rain, baby. I'm I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 36:02

I need to record that because I just gonna say that.

SPEAKER_07 36:05

That's why I say for me, when you talk about a relationship, bro, you literally be in a blender. You be trying to figure out where to go, how to do, when okay. Yeah, oh may get crushed. Right, you feel me? So yeah, yeah, that's a no for me.

SPEAKER_03 36:21

Okay. Uh dope note men value respect more than love in a relationship.

SPEAKER_07 36:28

Respect me, don't love me. The nigga that you love, you hurt. Oh the nigga that you respect, you you you you respect him, you stand in front of him, you respect him. I just seen a dude yesterday, I forgot his name. He's a uh rapper from Atlanta. He said to his little friend, don't treat me like your man, treat me like your friend. But you tell your friend everything, you do everything in front of your friend. Yo man, you keeping secrets from that nigga.

SPEAKER_01 36:57

Oh wow. See, that's messy, yeah. You gotta unpack that.

SPEAKER_07 37:02

Listen, when he said it, I said, Well, and then it just goes right back to me saying, You know, that's crazy because I just saw something today.

SPEAKER_03 37:11

You just made me think about it. The lady was online and she said that she valued the fact that she was a side chick. She said it's side. They get the realness, the real person, authentic. Side chicks get the, and so I'm serious.

SPEAKER_07 37:31

Hold on, talking about.

SPEAKER_03 37:32

Oh lord.

SPEAKER_07 37:33

So when you say side chicks, side whatever, yeah, side whatever, because usually how it goes, if you for a man somebody said side piece, side piece, there it is. So usually how it goes, the man and or the woman, the main, the husband, the wife, or whatever it is, they getting the worst, the worst version of you. The side piece, that gets the fun version, yeah. Sex, freaky, laugh, everything that you say is the best thing in the world. You are supposed to be.

SPEAKER_01 38:11

Because because it's it's because it ain't real life. Yeah, but it's great. I did with you part-time.

SPEAKER_07 38:15

Yeah, that's great.

SPEAKER_03 38:16

But what happens and I know what voids to fill based on the conversations that we've had from your men, men dislike women, men gonna say what they missing and they marriage.

SPEAKER_01 38:29

She don't do this to me. Oh, definitely. She don't do so.

SPEAKER_03 38:33

But this lady actually said she was pissed when she found out that her husband and the side chick was no longer seeing each other. Because guess what? Now her husband was showing up at home, not happy, right, right, right, moody, yeah, because he was getting everything he wanted from the side chick. From the side piece. And she's like, what's going on? So here's the thing. I got the fix this, I need to go fix my husband's relationship.

SPEAKER_01 39:06

That void will get filled somewhere. Yeah, it'll get filled somewhere.

SPEAKER_07 39:12

For a man, we would rather be side pieces to a woman. Why? Because we don't want to deal with the BS that we know you're capable of. Because I'm gonna say this owe me. I'ma sit and listen to everything that you got going on with your man and be like, you crazy as hell. In the real in my head, I'm like, you as crazy as hell. And you wonder why that nigga like that. You crazy. But you're fun when you're not around him. Women I could be wrong, I could be right, but in my heart, I'm right. So let me go back. Don't with your heart. Explain this how I was gonna explain it. So a man is never going to a man's side piece is never going to out the woman. No, never.

SPEAKER_03 39:59

But we will.

SPEAKER_07 40:00

Right. So when you get a side piece as a woman, you better make sure she's married or she got something that she trying not to lose. Because if she just single and she's floating around, she finna set up everything that you got going on.

SPEAKER_03 40:15

David, blow it up.

SPEAKER_07 40:16

Blow it up because she's saying, I want him. So that's the difference between a man and a woman. A woman is be a side piece with the with the hopes and the dreams of being the main woman one day. A man, oh no, I'm good. I'm getting everything you get in here.

SPEAKER_03 40:32

Yeah, I just don't know if I would have hopes and dreams. You don't want to have you, you're not about you.

SPEAKER_01 40:38

You stay out of that.

SPEAKER_03 40:39

But it's not about you. I'm just saying, if I were the men. If I were a part of that, why would I have hopes and dreams to one day be promoted? Because then that now means that my position is vague. So you about to hire soon.

SPEAKER_07 40:57

But in like who who y'all live can all fairy tales sometimes. So y'all live and y'all be in La La Land, and y'all see some things that feel good, and y'all don't went on a trip and all that good stuff. So now y'all thinking, okay, I can he can be my man and everything can be all good, and this, this, that, and the third. And y'all not really looking at reality. And what you just said was reality. So yeah, yeah, that yeah, I I can love you every single day. And you may wonder in your head that I don't love you. When a man stops showing up for you, when I mean showing up, all the things that he does for you. When he completely stops and he's sitting on his hands, now you're in trouble. Now you need to start thinking.

How Arguments Reveal The Real Truth

SPEAKER_03 41:42

Dope or no, the way someone argues tells you everything you need to know about them and how they feel about you.

SPEAKER_07 41:55

Dope. Dope. You know how they tell you when you're drunk, you tell you. You know when they say you're drunk, you tell the truth? Oh, yeah. When you're mad, you tell the truth. Oh, yeah. Especially some people.

SPEAKER_03 42:06

But you gotta be careful how you argue with somebody because you can say some things that it cuts. It cuts, but you can't undo it. You can't undo it, you can't go back.

SPEAKER_01 42:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 42:17

Because you can say some things, and and I'm just speaking from experience, and this this was not I know it's not about me.

SPEAKER_01 42:25

Well, it is.

SPEAKER_03 42:27

Oh Lord. It is. We and I love you. Yeah. And you know where I'm going with this. Which one? We can see what you want. We got into an argument. This was a couple years ago.

SPEAKER_01 42:40

Oh, I know what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_03 42:42

Which one?

SPEAKER_01 42:43

Oh Lord.

SPEAKER_03 42:44

And I still, you know, remember it to this day. I I can tell you where we were, I can tell you where she was sitting, where I was standing, how she said it. Um, and it was dealing with some work stuff because you know we have to work together as well as um be in a relationship. And so I said to her, I said, um, the day that she told me what happened, I said, I told you that this young lady was going to do that. You know, I see the handwriting on the wall, the red flags is gonna be a problem. And she looked at me and she said, You are not a lawyer. And I was practicing law before I met you. And I don't need you to tell me she can say anything. And so I looked at her.

SPEAKER_01 43:40

I said, Okay. And you know what? In that moment, well, well, hindsight, you're not a lawyer, but you have a PhD in people. In people, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 43:52

It's some people that's a good thing.

SPEAKER_03 43:53

Well, it wasn't it wasn't even that, it was more of like human resource issues. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so it was a people issue. To her was that I don't have to have a degree in model to understand human resources because I had been managing a whole school of people for years. And you know people, but it was common sense.

SPEAKER_07 44:13

Certain people can see what another person can't see. And you know, uh what you get from me, what you get from me, another person may not get from me.

SPEAKER_03 44:23

You may I'm glad I thought about stay here and think about that shit.

SPEAKER_07 44:26

Right.

SPEAKER_01 44:26

Well, I was I was apologized for that before, but I'm just saying that's a good example. That's a good example, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:35

What I just say is sometimes when you argue with people, you just have to be very careful because in that moment, yeah, you're you're heated and emotions are high. And it may not even be just about that person, it may be about everything else. But you have to be careful what you say in that moment because I mean, look at us now. It's what was that? Trying to ten years ago. Yeah, and I still remember it to this day.

SPEAKER_07 45:00

It just sticks with you. If they the the person that you love says something that you thought they would never say to you.

SPEAKER_03 45:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 45:10

That's just like I hate to see moms argue with their daughters. And then it gets crazy. Yeah, it gets nasty. Nasty and the B word gets thrown out from the mom. And you're like, oh, how could you do that? Because that's gonna stay with that little girl forever. You know what I'm saying? So at the end of the day, yeah, you when you argue, you know, Anime told me a long time ago, boy, you ain't got nothing good to say, don't say nothing at all. But now with social media and everybody wanna be psychiatrists and stuff, oh, when he shuts down, he's hiding something. No, I'm trying not to hurt nobody. So I it's better for me to be quiet. It's better for me not to say a word. It's better for me to just leave it alone. You got it, I'm gonna let God handle it. So yeah, you gotta be careful with what you say.

SPEAKER_03 45:50

And that's what we're gonna do. We just gonna let God continue to handle it and move in our

Final Thoughts And Wrap Up

SPEAKER_03 45:55

lives. Swag, you know it is always, always a pleasure to have you and talk to you, although we talk all the time. Right, but we love you and thank you for coming to the Two Dog Chicks Podcast.

SPEAKER_07 46:10

I need some alcohol. Yeah, yeah. Jesus.