05 | Family in Flight | Military Family Community

Navigating Life as a Military Spouse

In this conversation, Chelsea Thomas shares her experiences as a military spouse navigating the challenges of geo-baching, where families live apart due to military assignments. She discusses the emotional toll of separation, the importance of community support, and the founding of her nonprofit organization, Family in Flight, which aims to assist families in similar situations. Chelsea emphasizes the need for understanding and compassion towards military families and highlights the unique challenges they face, including financial burdens and emotional struggles. The conversation also touches on the importance of asking for help and the value of community in overcoming these challenges.

Connect with Family in Flight:

Website: FamilyinFlight.org and e-book

Email: hello@familyinflight.org

Instagram: Family_in_Flight

Connect with this show on Instagram @wherewerisepod

Don't forget to leave a review on this platform!

Transcript

Khalila McCoy 0:00

Hi, I'm Khalila McCoy, and this is the show that helps build communities. This is Where We Rise. Hey, welcome to this week's episode of Where We Rise. I am excited for you to hear my conversation with Chelsea Thomas. We actually recorded this episode back in January, so you're gonna hear us start the conversation laughing and talking about the weather, but I promise that's not the focus, and we will get back on track. Chelsea is a military wife who founded her own nonprofit to support other families in similar living situations. Now, I knew, like most of you, that the life of a military spouse or family comes with its own set of challenges, but I had never heard of geobatching before I met Chelsea. So, listen in, get to know Chelsea, and learn how geo batching changed her life in more ways than one. Hi Chelsea, how are you?

Chelsea Thomas 1:02

I'm good. How are you?

Khalila McCoy 1:04

Good. I'm so excited that you're here today. We kind of just went through this before. Um but Chelsea and I were getting to know each other before we kind of jump into the podcast, and we already found out we have a small thing in common. Her mom is from the same city that I grew up in, so that's kind of exciting to already make a small connection with somebody. And Chelsea is in Florida, so it's snowing here today, and it's very cold. It says it's 22, but it feels like 11. So what's it like in Florida?

Chelsea Thomas 1:36

Oh my gosh, I think it's 80 out right now. And so we're I have like all my fans on because I was so hot earlier in my house. And I got a heat on, I got a flannel on, and she's gonna t-shirt. I'm like, yeah, t-shirt and shorts. I was like, I can't, and we're I was supposed to take down Christmas decorations today, and that was a hard pass. I was like, it is just too hot for that.

Khalila McCoy 1:59

Yeah, see, we're the opposite, and everybody in Ohio is like, it's too cold, I'll leave them up another day or so. It's supposed to get cold this week, and I love warm weather and the sunshine, so I wish I was where you were instead of here, but hello.

Chelsea Thomas 2:14

Yeah, and we're supposed to have like cooler weather this weekend, so we're all really excited for like 50 and 60 degrees. Excited for it. Look at us and our winter snap.

Khalila McCoy 2:25

That it would be a hot that would be a heat wave right now for us.

Chelsea Thomas 2:28

So gosh, no, but we're all gonna have like our parkas and flannels and heat, all the things will be on for us.

Khalila McCoy 2:34

Yeah, and in high, they'll be like shorts and t-shirts, it's finally 50.

Chelsea Thomas 2:38

Nope, not here.

Khalila McCoy 2:40

Yeah, I love that, just how different the weather is. Like, you know, we get a few inches of snow and we're like up truck through it, get your snow boots and other places like, shut down, what's happening? Oh, yeah.

Chelsea Thomas 2:51

Where my husband lives, which I'm sure we'll touch on this later, but where my husband lives, if it even flurries in the air, the whole city will shut down, schools are closed, like the whole thing. Yeah. They cannot handle anything. Yeah.

Khalila McCoy 3:07

So I like that you said, like, where your husband lives, because that's what we're going to be talking about today. So tell us a little bit about yourself and you and your husband living in different places.

Chelsea Thomas 3:18

Yeah. So um, I like you said, my name is Chelsea, and I'm a mom of four kids and three dogs. So we apparently really like chaos.

Khalila McCoy 3:27

Yes.

Chelsea Thomas 3:28

And um, I am a military spouse, and my husband is in the Air Force. And um, we've been together for several years, you know, and um I was kind of, you know, we were living together, we were going through deployments, we were going through short-term trips, and then all of a sudden it came up to him it was his time to move. And we knew from the very beginning, uh, because I have kids from a previous marriage, and so does he, that we were not going to be able to move together just due to our kids' situation. So we knew about this for a long time, but then the time actually came. And so my husband for the last four years has been living in Mississippi, and I live in Florida. And so it has been quite the journey to say the least, not just for me, but for the kids too, you know, just adjustments and everything that comes with it. Um, but yeah, so you know, we're going into year four this year, uh, in 2026, and Lord help us.

Khalila McCoy 4:32

Yeah, that's a long time. Now you said that you knew it was a possibility. So is it the branch that he's in or his job that that's a possibility?

Chelsea Thomas 4:41

So it's more so his job. I guess it's a branch and job combo of the two. So he's a pilot. Um, and so with that, they rotate bases roughly every three to four years on a good time frame. Some are shorter, some can be a little bit longer, but on average it's about three to four years that you're stationed in one location. And so we had those, you know, through I think he was uh in Florida for maybe four years.

Khalila McCoy 5:10

Okay.

Chelsea Thomas 5:11

Before he had to move. But you know, when you're with those together those four years, you're not you're including deployments, which, you know, are anywhere between four and six months. You're including these like short-term trips. So we actually looked at the data of it. And with him moving to Mississippi and us living apart, if I were to go up even once a month to go see him for a week, I would see him more while we live states apart than I did when we were both living in Florida, just because of like the job that he was doing in Florida versus Mississippi. Yeah, so I've actually seen him more the last four years than I think I would have if he stayed in Florida.

Khalila McCoy 5:48

So that's interesting. I would never have thought of that being.

Chelsea Thomas 5:52

Yeah, he can't they like tell him at the end, like, you were gone this many days, you were home this many days, you deployed for this many days, and so he added it all up and was like, Oh my god, this is depressing. You know, I think he's gone for eight months of the year when he lived in Florida, and now he's never gone in Mississippi. I mean, he's gone in the sense of he's not in Florida, but from his job and from our home in Mississippi, he's never, never really gone.

Khalila McCoy 6:18

Now you said every about three to four years it changes. So this is year four. Is he is there news yet? Do you guys know is he moving somewhere else?

Chelsea Thomas 6:28

So hopefully he'll be moving back home, which is super exciting. Uh however, with the military, you as a spouse, you kind of learn to not hold your breath with it. Okay. So we were told he could be home between like March and May, and we were super of 2026. We were super excited, and then it turned into June, and then it turned into November. And so it's like, yes, he might be home. He's supposed to, he's he's coming home at some point in the next year or so. Um, so it's just kind of amazing.

Khalila McCoy 6:58

And it's guaranteed like it will be Florida, it's not somewhere else.

Chelsea Thomas 7:01

Yeah. Yeah. So we were really excited because those odds are so, so slim. But I think that leadership really took into consideration our our position of it's called geo-batching. Um, and it's where your military spouse and family don't live together for an extended amount of time that is not what is called a TDY, which is typically a short-term trip or a deployment. Those are very separated from geo batching. Um, and so I think that the the leadership was like, hey, you've done four years apart from your family. We'll try to try to get you back. Try to get you back. Down in Florida was our goal, you know, but at least he's coming home. Last we heard was he was coming home home, you know, so not even just in the state. He'll be home with you guys.

Khalila McCoy 7:44

That's exciting. Yeah. So you said too, geo batching versus deployment. Tell us the difference between those two.

Chelsea Thomas 7:52

Yeah. So this is a really great, I love when people ask me this question because I think that geobatching and deployments, and like I said, TDYs and short-term trips um and short-term school stents, they all get kind of like lumped into one and they're so different. Um, you know, so in terms of deployment, which a lot of what it's what geobatching is compared to, um, it's very, very different. So when you are a military family and your spouse deploys, you are tied to the base that they are with. And typically you're living there with them. So when my husband would deploy, he would deploy from Florida, and I had a group of other spouses who were all in the same boat as me. Every spouse was deployed. We all were solo parenting for the four to six months, however long it was going to be. Um we did, you know, we had a big community. So we would get together so that our kids could play and we could catch up and just kind of have like a breath of fresh air so that we weren't doing this alone. Or, you know, during deployments, there's scholarship opportunities for your kids so that you can apply for funding to put them in an after-school care program, which will help you as the parent, you know, obviously, have a little bit more time, whether you're working or staying home or whatever. So you have scholarship opportunities. And then you have things like free child care nights at your base if you're if your spouse is deployed, which is wonderful. Like I used all three of those when my husband would deploy, and they were awesome services. And then they come home, and everybody comes home at once, the whole squadron, the whole you know, platoon, depending on what branch you're in. They all come home basically at the same time, and it's this beautiful reunification, and all those like really fun military reuniting photos and videos online.

Khalila McCoy 9:42

I love those.

Chelsea Thomas 9:43

Um, yeah, so we have lots of those, and so then you kind of go back to normal life, and it's wonderful. Um, and you've built these relationships and the bonds with these other spouses who just went through this like terrible deployment. Geo batching is so vastly different, it is wild. So when you're geobatching, I am no longer tied to the Florida base that I live next to. I have no support, I have no resources. I can go on base and do my shopping and things like that. But in terms of childcare, I don't have any more free nights. Um I don't have opportunities for scholarships for my kids for after school. Um, if I'm about to go through a hurricane, I have no support to help me with that. I have to do it all by myself or try to figure out how to get my husband home, type of situation, because I am tied to the base that he is at in Mississippi. So my, they call him key spouses or spouse liaisons. My go-to people are all in Mississippi. I don't have anyone here. So although I don't really yeah, and so that's like one of the big things that I don't think people really realize is that I don't have the support of the giant military base that I'm next to. And I don't have the resources that are offered during a deployment during geobatching. And honestly, geo batching is more expensive, it's more taxing emotionally, it's more taxing physically. There's so many different elements, and I want to make it very clear: deployments are extremely hard on their own. Geobatching is extremely hard on their own. They both come with their unique set of challenges and positives on both sides, but it's so different. So, like for people to lump in geobatching to deployment, I love when people ask, like, what's the difference? Because it's so vastly different.

Khalila McCoy 11:31

Yeah. And I would not have thought that like that support would be is the idea like they wanted you to move to Mississippi. So since you didn't, it's almost kind of like a you're being penalized in a sense.

Chelsea Thomas 11:44

Yeah, sort of. I mean, so the military, they recognize geo bouching, but again, there's nothing for it. So they don't the only branch that offers any additional type of assistance is the army, and they it's like additional housing. Um, but that is a lot of hoops to jump through in and of itself. So, like, in terms of like overarching military, geo bouching they would prefer it to not be a thing. They prefer the whole family to go and and you know be together, which every family geo bouching would also really like that.

Khalila McCoy 12:18

Yes.

Chelsea Thomas 12:19

You just can't due to a myriad of reasons. And um, so yeah, so it's like, well, you are on your husband's orders or your wife's orders, and they moved, so therefore you technically move too. So every like I had to keep all of I had to do so much stuff to keep my health care in Florida versus changing it all to Mississippi because that's where our in, you know, like just even stuff like that. It's like, oh my gosh.

Khalila McCoy 12:44

Right.

Chelsea Thomas 12:46

So yeah, it's it's a lot to go through when you're living this separated life, not by choice, because nine out of ten times it's not a choice. It's a right, it's a forced choice, is what we all say.

Khalila McCoy 12:59

And you said before, like you knew this was coming up, so you guys already knew like moving was not gonna be the in the best interest of your family.

Chelsea Thomas 13:06

Yeah, so for us, because I have kids from a previous marriage, we have split custody, and looking at the betterment of my kids, it was okay, I could take the kids either for the school year or for the summer, and then vice versa, they would be with their dad so that we could keep it pretty even. But would that be the best interest of my children to go through the fighting, to go through the battle, to go through the court and do all of that?

Khalila McCoy 13:30

Right.

Chelsea Thomas 13:31

To then uproot them for six, eight months of the year to then have them be uprooted again to go back to the other parent. And for us, that was never an option. Um, our kids, you know, were coming first in that specific decision. Um, you know, and their dad's a good dad, so why not let them be with their dad? And why take them from that? And why take them from me, you know, good chunks of the year? And so it was just one of those that it was never really an option, and we knew it coming into this. So we were able to prepare with like therapy and conversations and you know, really kind of, but not everyone has that, you know, they don't always think that this is gonna be a thing for them, and it kind of comes out of nowhere.

Khalila McCoy 14:14

So you were able to prepare a little bit better.

Chelsea Thomas 14:17

Oh, yeah, lots of therapy heading up to it of how do we make this work? You know, what is the best, you know, communication tips, or you know, how do we make it feel like we're still a priority for each other when we're not seeing each other and we can't physically be the priority, so we have to do it through phone calls or you know, things like that were really, really helpful for us leading up to this and leading up to him moving.

Khalila McCoy 14:42

What was it like for you when he first moved? And like you said, all that support dropped, even in the preparation. Did it hit you like, oh crap, like this is real now and this is really hard?

Chelsea Thomas 14:56

Yeah, we talk so um the nonprofit that I run, we have a support group, and we talk in the support group often about those like days and weeks and months leading up to the military service member leaving. And it is you can prepare all you want, and it's not gonna matter. At the end of the day, it is so sucky to say the least. And it and again, it's such a different feeling than a deployment. Like, I remember when my husband would go on deployments, and those first like week, I was like really sad, but I was cleaning my house, I was watching whatever show I wanted, I was doing all these things, and I would go on trips in the middle of his deployments and all of these like fun things to keep me occupied. And geobatching becomes your lifestyle.

Khalila McCoy 15:40

Okay.

Chelsea Thomas 15:41

So solo parenting becomes the norm for the next several years, you know, it's not just the next several months. Um, and you know, just even like traveling, I always forget to like get groceries on my way home from seeing my husband, and then I get home and my kids come and we have no food, and I'm like, crap, you know, like that's part of just being gone so often because I do have the ability to see him. But those first few days, I remember I was like, okay, this is no big deal. Like it's like he was on a trip, and I don't think it really hit me until we were like a month or two in of this reality, because it was like, oh, we've done a few weeks apart, you know, we've done even a few months apart with deployment, but it was just more eye-opening later on to be like, oh, this is this is long term, you know, like this is this is not ending anytime soon. He is not coming back anytime soon, you know, like it was just the reality check, and then that's when it all was like, oh my gosh, I hate this. Yeah, I don't want to do this, you know, but again, just really trying to reframe my brain of like this is for the kids, right? We're doing this for the kids, and this is short term. If you think about like life in the grand scheme of things, you know, three to five years, let's say, is it long? Definitely, yeah, very long, lots of milestones, lots of things missed, but then he's home, you know, and like we're like, okay, we can do this, we can make it through these three to five years. Um, and we get to go see him often because it's drivable, so it makes it a little bit better. So we can all hop in the car whenever we want and drive and go see my husband and hang out with him and then come on back. And not everybody has the ability to do that. Some people are literally across the country.

Khalila McCoy 17:27

And I'm sure that depends on too, like you have your own job. So depend depending on what your job is, if you financially can't afford, right? Like if your husband is across the country, I might not be able to afford to jump on a plane and see him frequently.

Chelsea Thomas 17:42

Yeah, so and that's really how our organization started was out of frustration of finances because I used to fly every other week. So I would fly to go see my husband. We paid for parking at the like a little off-site parking for the airport, and then I would drive to go see him because it you can't fly into his city. It's real fun. Um, and so I remember I was driving home. It was like one of the first several times I had driven, probably the first 10, 15, and it's a 10 and a half hour drive. And I was so mad, and I was like, there's gotta be an organization where I can apply for funding so that I can go fly and see my husband. Like, this is crazy. My kids never see him. You know, I was just really frustrated and upset at how expensive everything was. And then the more I looked, the more I realized there is no support for geobatching, and there is no travel grants that apply for it. And even the ones that are like, you know, scholarships for kids for deployed parents, geo batchers don't qualify for that, so we can't even offset those kid costs, you know. And so, um, yeah, so that's how family and flight started, honestly, was out of the finances of like, you know, and it's very much a real thing. There's so many families who are part of our organization who can't see their spouse except for maybe once every six months because they just can't afford it because taking off of work and kids' schedules and buying multiple tickets to fly across country is not cheap.

Khalila McCoy 19:12

Right. What was the process of starting Family and Flight?

Chelsea Thomas 19:17

So out of frustration, obviously, of just you know, driving and trying to figure out what I could do. Um, because again, the more I looked into it, the more I realized there wasn't anything to support families like mine, but there was a lot of families like mine out there, the more I did some digging. And so I decided, you know, I had started my own companies before, but never a nonprofit. So I did some digging on how to start that. I filed all my paperwork for Florida, did all of like the legal stuff, and I hit the ground running. So I do work a full-time job Monday through Friday, you know, but I have the beauty of working from home. Um, but every night for probably the first month of working on this, I was up, you know, until 11 or 12 at night filing paperwork, reaching out to people to see if they wanted to be on my board, coming up with bylaws, you know, like all the nitty-gritty stuff, and then just trying to figure out our mission and vision, right? Like, what are we doing? Like, what's the point in this and how are we gonna help? And so we originally started as a travel grant program. And the goal was to provide travel grants to families um so that they could see each other. So, like this past Christmas in 2025, we um were able to support a family, and they got to so the service member got to fly home and surprise the six kids that they have, and it was like the I mean, I was like sobbing at the videos that she sent me, you know. But so that was our goal. That was it. Like we were just gonna do travel grants.

Khalila McCoy 20:48

Okay.

Chelsea Thomas 20:49

And then nothing took off. And it was we had a lot of momentum, we had a lot of traction, but there was no engagement. And we were like, what is going on? Like we opened up applications, we had a little bit of money, like we were like, So you're saying people weren't applying for the grant? Nobody, nobody was applying, and so we were like, what is happening? So almost a year to the day that we started, we did a focus group and we pulled a bunch of our followers and we said, Hey, what do you need in this in this spot in life? And nobody said travel grants. So we sort of did a 180. Uh, I sat there and I could have taken it really hard. Um, I've learned. I would just kind of took it and was like, okay, great, what are we gonna do now? And so we have then since launched support groups. So everybody just said that they were lacking community, and that is what I felt too. Like, yeah, you mentioned that it was so hard to have nobody around and nobody understand what I was going through. And even my military friends, they're like, Well, why are you doing this again? You know, and right no hate on them, like they just didn't fully they weren't fully understanding why our family had. To do this and why it wasn't worth fighting, right? And so we swapped and we moved to support groups, which is like our main priority, is finding your community within family and flight. And those took off so fast. Those are, you know, the beginning of the month, every first Wednesday of the month, we have a virtual support group where all of the families who are geobatching jump on to have a community to be like, I'm struggling, I'm having a really hard time, or hey, I get to go see my spouse next week, and we all get to celebrate together, knowing what that means, you know?

Khalila McCoy 22:35

Yes.

Chelsea Thomas 22:35

Um, and then we also decided to start offering um commu it's part of our community program, and it's just gift cards. So part of geobatching is finances are really hard, but not in the sense of traveling, because again, PTO is really, you know, hard to come by. Kids get like there's so many different factors that go into just here's a travel grant, go see your spouse, you know. Um, and so we start offering gift cards. So Starbucks gift cards, Target gift cards, Uber Eats gift cards, just to offset, just even if it's a $25 thing. But yeah, like you gotta, you know, or like Starbucks, like I send it out and I joke almost every gift card I send. And I'm like, if today wasn't a bad day, either yesterday was or tomorrow's gonna be. So like So get yourself something. Yeah, call create that. Because you just never know with like the geo batching life. And so um, so yeah, so we really swapped and so we still offer those grants, right? Like we still have our applications open, we still have our committee to review, like all of that is still an option for our followers, but we really honed in on the community aspect, which is really what everyone was just so desperate for, and that is really where we've really seen growth and you know, where people are like, hey, we needed this. Yeah. And as much as they need it, I also need it, you know, like I need those support groups just as much as they do.

Khalila McCoy 24:04

Now, is this from word of mouth or are you able to ask the branches to advertise this for you?

Chelsea Thomas 24:11

Uh so we can ask our individual like squadrons, platoons, um, you know, whatever it is you might be part of.

Khalila McCoy 24:22

Okay.

Chelsea Thomas 24:22

And we can talk to our individual bases, you know, in terms of like myself, any of my board members or followers, things like that. But to get on the bases is extremely hard. Um and a lot of them want, you know, like funding for advertising. And I'm like, nope, every dollar literally goes back into helping our community.

Khalila McCoy 24:40

Yeah.

Chelsea Thomas 24:40

So we're not gonna spend for advertising. If you see us advertising, it's my own money that has gone into it to get the word out. Um, so no, it really is just by word of mouth and social media. Um, I think social media, as much as I might not like it personally, it really has done wonders for family in flight and just sort of getting our name out there.

Khalila McCoy 25:04

What is one of the most difficult parts of the organization or like running this?

Chelsea Thomas 25:12

All the ideas that I have. Okay. Um, I was like, like making time for them. Yeah, I was just talking to one of our volunteers earlier today, and uh, she was like, I don't know how you do it. And I'm like, I have so many notebooks, my notes app on my phone is full of you know, I just want to do so many things because this community is such a passion of mine. Yeah, not just because I'm in it, but because I feel for these people. Because fun fact, out of 40,000 plus military-focused and veteran-focused uh nonprofits, we are the only one that solely focuses on geobatching. So there are a very select few, limited amount that touch on geo batching, but they go, hey, here's the resource, go go do it yourself. Yeah, they don't offer travel grants community support, you know, they don't do any of that. Um, and so for us, it's like this amazing opportunity and also very overwhelming because Yeah, you're the only one, so everybody's coming to you.

Khalila McCoy 26:14

How many people would you say is are in your community?

Chelsea Thomas 26:19

Um, I would say probably a few hundred based off of just our platform. So we're still we're going into year two. Um, so we haven't been around very long at all. Like in August of 26, it will be two years. So it's really only a year and a half right now. But we've had such amazing opportunities at speaking at conferences, you know, talking about this. Um, you know, we've had fairly large organizations reach out to us and be like, hey, we really like what you guys are doing. Let's figure out a partnership. You know, so like it's one of those that really is taking off because a lot of the military community knows this term of geobatching, but a lot don't. So a lot of people are unaware they're even in this position. And then when they find out, they're like, oh, this is amazing, you know. Um so yeah, it's been um just a wild ride with just all the ideas that I have and want to implement. And it's really hard to like focus and be like, okay, what makes sense right now? And what do we like? Let's scale this out. It doesn't, it's not a race to the finish. We can, you know, slow it down and it's gonna be okay. I'd rather have quality stuff for this community than just slapping things on the wall like spaghetti.

Khalila McCoy 27:29

And then it burns out, yeah. It doesn't work. Can you share with us one of your ideas that you're excited about that might not be fully fine-tuned yet, but yes.

Chelsea Thomas 27:38

So we are almost done with, and it might be done by the time this comes out, an ebook um that families can download that is the real raw truth of geobatching.

Khalila McCoy 27:52

Okay.

Chelsea Thomas 27:52

And so I wrote an ebook to just kind of be like, hey, if you're thinking about this, here are some things to talk about it, you know. And if you are already in it, here's some ways to like push through. Um, and it's just it's, you know, all from my perspective and my journey and my story. Um, but it's very real. And so it's we like I don't sugarcoat in this, but I'm like super excited for this ebook to come out because I've been working on it for like, oh gosh, four or five months now.

Khalila McCoy 28:23

Yeah. What's it called?

Chelsea Thomas 28:24

It's called The Real Raw Truth of Geobatching.

Khalila McCoy 28:28

Okay, I'm writing this down. And you think it will come out when?

Chelsea Thomas 28:32

I'm hoping in like by the end of January. Okay. Um so we'll see. It's as much as I can get edited, and my brand director can, you know, have her editing eyes on it, and my PR can get, you know, like we got so many hands that need to touch it before we can officially publish it. But we're in the final phases, and I'm congratulations.

Khalila McCoy 28:53

That's really exciting.

Chelsea Thomas 28:55

Yeah.

Khalila McCoy 28:56

So you're a businesswoman, an author. What else are you gonna do?

Chelsea Thomas 29:01

Um, you know, I got my word.

Khalila McCoy 29:07

All of the things.

Chelsea Thomas 29:08

I'm like, I can hardly keep up either, but like, let's go.

Khalila McCoy 29:12

It's worth it, yeah.

Chelsea Thomas 29:14

Where it's nice too, like when we do have these support groups, like we have people coming on just in tears with being grateful with finding this organization, you know. And for me, it's not about the recognition of like, oh, look what I did. It's look what my team did, look what the community is doing, and just to be able to help that one or two, you know, new people that pop on or the recurring people who are there every single month because this is their lifeline. Like, I mean, I can't tell you how many times I've cried on these support groups, like and I'm not a crier. And it's just one of those, like, wow, it's really making a difference in this this geobatching community.

Khalila McCoy 29:56

Yeah. Tell us about a time that either you cried or you were just really happy for a family that you supported.

Chelsea Thomas 30:03

Oh, I think, like I said, I think I cry almost every support group now. I think it's just one of like this most recent one in the beginning of January of 26. I remember I was just really down. I had just left a visit with my husband with my kids. So we had that moment of like feeling like a full family. Um the normality of it. He was still working, I was still working while we were up there, the kids were doing their thing, you know, but just being nor a normal family. And when we had to leave, I was really on, I was just so mad that like this was our life. And um, I remember I almost canceled the support group because I lead it, and I was just like, I am not, I don't, I do not want to talk to these people. Like I'm not a happy person. Like, normally try to be positive and like real about it, but also like let's see the good about it. And um this time I got on and was like, guys, I'm not, I am not feeling it. And all of them were like, neither are we. Here's all of our reasons why. It was all basically the same reasons, and we all were like, Wow, this was really great, you know. And so, like again, just being able to talk to people who understand and to cry and say, I'm really sad that I had to drive back and leave my husband, you know, like my kids are really sad that they had to leave their stepdad. Like, it just sucks. And sometimes when you tell even military friends, you're like, Yeah, it sucks. And they're like, Yeah, but it's gonna get better. You know, you only have a year, and they mean well, and I genuinely appreciate when they are like, Yeah, but this is the year that he should come home, and this is the you know, like all those things. It's amazing. But in that moment, I'm like, I just need somebody who understands how that's exactly what you're feeling. Yeah, what's going on, and so I think again, you know, just every support girl. We have one girl who poor thing, she um they were geo batching uh because she is in school and he is at a base and she was finishing her program and in the middle of geo batching, he got deployed. So now she is dealing with that, and when you think of it in that, like when somebody goes through that piece, it's really hard when the service member comes home from deployment because it's not like if my husband were to come home, I would be ready and waiting, you know, because typically they call you 30 minutes ahead of time and you gotta like race to the base and get there on time. Really? Oh, yeah, it's like you don't actually really know when they're coming home. So you got you're on guard all day because you're like it'll be between three and six p.m., but you don't know exactly when.

Khalila McCoy 32:33

Okay.

Chelsea Thomas 32:34

So for her who lives hours and hours away, she doesn't have that luxury. So now she has to figure out where she's gonna stay because they don't have a place there anymore because he deployed and they got rid of it. You know, so it's all of these different things that nobody thinks about. Everyone's just like, yay, they're coming home for deployment. And she's like, I'm excited, but oh my gosh, like I have so much, you know. So just having her to be able to have that moment on the support group to like all of us cry and be like, we've been through deployments, we've been through geo matching, all of it just sucks for you right now, you know. She's like, What do I do? And I'm like, I have no answers for you, you know. And so it's just things like that where I yeah, I think I could keep going on story after story with these support groups on how everybody has a little bit of a different story and what it means and how important it is to have that community.

Khalila McCoy 33:24

So thinking about because even you talked about military families who just have deployment deployment, they don't fully understand geobatching, and then me as a just a regular civilian who didn't even know this existed before you came across my feed. Um, what would you say would be supportive? So, like let's say we're friends and you're telling me about this, you know, you don't want to hear, like, oh, it'll be okay, it's almost over. Like, how could you support a family? What could you say in that moment? Is it just being quiet and listening to their struggle? Is it asking them, like, can I do something for you? What would be supportive from somebody outside of this? Yes.

Chelsea Thomas 34:01

I think that like one of the biggest things that I always try to tell people, if you financially have the ability to help, send them a gift card. Like, I can't tell you how far that goes for a family in need, even a $10 gift card. Like a uh here's a $10 target gift card. That helps alleviate $10 of their finances. And it might sound not sound a lot to like the normal person or you know, somebody who is in the military and you know, all of these things, but would we're paying, because we for military families we get base housing allowance, but it's only covering for for one house. We don't get two of those stipends.

Khalila McCoy 34:42

That's true, yeah.

Chelsea Thomas 34:43

So we have two mortgages and two electric bills and two water bills and two like two of everything. So ten dollars might not sound like a lot to the normal person or even the military normal person, but ten dollars can go a long way for or honestly, that ten dollars can maybe give that that parent who is back home with kids or working full-time or going to school, we're not spending a ton of money on ourselves because everything is so expensive. And if you send me a $10 Starbucks gift card, I now get to go enjoy a lovely little cup of coffee, you know? But then if finances are not something that you can do, is just being there to, like you said, listen and to say, I'm sorry. Like, I'm sorry you're going through this. Don't try to empathize with them or sympathize, empathize. Either one both, be sympathetic, I guess, towards the situation, but don't pretend unless you've been there, what it's like, because that's the other thing that a lot of this community is like. Everyone's like, Oh, I'm so sorry. My spouse went on a work trip for a week, and I missed, and I'm like, girl, that is not the same. Right, that is so different, you know. Like, I wish I could go, like, my husband was just on a work trip for a week or two. So it's just things like that of like the listening and the apologizing for the situation they're in, and understanding without taking away the importance of those feelings, because this again wasn't necessarily a choice that we wanted to make, and most of the time it was a choice that was forced upon us. And so to just also have that understanding that this person didn't choose to live states apart, you know, it's not like they stayed because it was easier by any means, um but they chose to stay for either the better betterment of their kids, or some of these families have um children who have extreme medical needs.

Khalila McCoy 36:40

Right.

Chelsea Thomas 36:41

And when you like one one family that was on our support group, she um the reason they geobatched for two years was because her son had therapy Monday through Friday and it was three hours a day. And um, she the wait list at the new base was gonna be six to eight months for all three therapies. And she said my son could not go six to eight months without these, so they had to stay where they were or have their child suffer for six to eight months.

Khalila McCoy 37:10

So the obvious choices, yeah. Like what are you gonna do?

Chelsea Thomas 37:14

You're you're picking it for your kid, you know. So there's things like that, there's job requirements for some of these people, there's school pro like there's just so many different things that people don't understand. It's not like we picked this because we enjoy living apart from our spouse. So, like just being understanding of that piece of it too, is that sure it was a choice, but it was not a happy choice.

Khalila McCoy 37:35

Yeah. When you get to go see your husband, how many days are you guys together?

Chelsea Thomas 37:41

So I am one of the lucky few um that I get to see my husband almost every other week because my kids are with their dad every other week. Um, this is not the norm. So I want to make that very clear to anyone listening who's in this position. If you are not seeing your spouse that often, that is very normal to not see them. We just are drivable and my work schedule, I can finagle things around. So um I we try to see each other at least once a month, if not those two weeks a month. And when we do get like the ideal time, it's about 10 days a month that we get to see each other.

Khalila McCoy 38:18

Okay.

Chelsea Thomas 38:19

Yeah. So 10, 12 days, depending on kids and stuff. So yeah, it's not a ton, but when we don't get it, like right now we're in a a bit of a bigger gap and we're both like, ugh, this is dumb.

Khalila McCoy 38:31

Yeah.

Chelsea Thomas 38:34

So we try not to, because we've gotten pretty used to that every other week schedule.

Khalila McCoy 38:38

What do you feel like you've learned the most about yourself through starting this organization or just figuring it out without him being there?

Chelsea Thomas 38:52

Ma so growing up, my mom used to always say, You are the most independent little girl child I ever met, you know. And so growing up, like that's just what I always had in my head. I don't think I was as independent as she thought I was. Um, but it has very much made me a very self-dependent person. It also has taught me to ask for help, which I know those two sound contradicting, but I was not one prior to this to ask for help. I would just do it myself. I would power through. Oh, for example, this is my favorite story to tell. Um, in the beginning of our geobatching experience, um, in Florida, we have lots of leaves that fall. It's like like northern fall, but it's like much, much longer time frame where I am. And so our roof gets super flooded with leaves. And so my husband used to always do it. And even when he would come home to visit while we've been geobatching, he would blow the roof off. Well, for some reason, I don't remember the whole situation, but it hadn't been done in a while, and I was like, I'm gonna go do it myself. Like, how hard can it be to blow off the roof of leaves? Oh my gosh, I got stuck on my roof. I I climbed up my roof and I started blowing everything off. I did not bring my phone, I have an Apple Watch, so like I was still within range. Okay, but um my my leaf blower died, my battery died, and I was like, okay, I'll just climb down and grab the next battery and change it and charge and all these things. My ladder moved and completely shifted, and I was like, oh my gosh, what do I do? One of those silly cartoon experiences. It really was, and I was like, I just I was like almost like part way down and it moved, and I like climbed back up really quick. Oh my gosh, I was like, okay, I could jump into my pool and hope for the best that I like don't break anything. Um, I was like looking over one side of my house that's like really vegetative, and I was like, do we think it's soft enough if I just like jump off? I'm like, how willing am I to break a bone to get one embarrassed going through your head? And so finally I was like, these are all really dumb because if I do break a bone, I'm the only one to care for my kids, and like that's a whole different set of issues to deal with, and I don't want to go to the ER and all of this. So I ended up calling my neighbor and she didn't pick up, but I saw her husband was home. So I was like, Well, I'm gonna call him. And he was like, Hi, why are you calling me? And I was like, I need your wife because I see that her partner's home and I need one of you to come save me from my roof. And she um took a picture of me as she was walking by as I'm just like perched on my roof like a little bird. And so in that moment, I have learned to ask for help ever since then. Like, if I can't do it, I'm not gonna try anymore. I will pick somebody to come do it, or I will ask a neighbor, like I'm not doing it. So I think through this whole journey, it's been self-resilience of like I'm a lot tougher than I thought I was, but also learning how to ask for help. And it's okay to ask for help, especially in this situation. Like, I think everybody could use a little bit more of asking for help in life. And I just think that this really did, you know, teach me that. And no more roof for me.

Khalila McCoy 42:12

Yes, please stay off the roof. Now, whenever I see like ladders and stuff, I'm gonna think of you and just chuckle.

Chelsea Thomas 42:21

Happy to help.

Khalila McCoy 42:24

Have you accidentally like stumbled on anybody in person, like in your area that also is geo batching that you've become friends with, or are you kind of alone in your area?

Chelsea Thomas 42:34

So it's funny you say that because there was a girl who her husband and my husband were part of the same squadron when they were both in Florida. And they both moved at the same time. And so when you kind of move, if you're not like really close, you uh you don't you're not quite as like, you know, you're in the vicinity, husbands are you know deployed at the same time, you have spouse uh events, you know, like you do a lot when you're in the same town, but when you move, it's really hard. So I hadn't really caught up with her, and I she posted something like, oh my gosh, I think I was three years in, two years into this, and she posted something about how her husband was living in a different state and she and her kids were in Florida, and I said, Excuse me? I was like, You are doing the same thing as me. And she was like, Wait, you're doing it too? She was like, Why are we doing this? Um, you know, but she it was very different reasons, but it all she was like, we had to do this for my career. It was the next, is the only step that we could take, and it doesn't come around often. So, you know, and I was like, Girl, I get it, you know, like makes sense to me. Um and so I haven't met anyone, but it was nice to like reconnect with her through this journey, and both still being, she's a little farther away now, but both still being in the same vicinities is nice.

Khalila McCoy 43:51

So it does it, it kind of sounds like it's not really something like even when though you were in a community before, is do military. Really talk that much about like the changes that are coming up, or does it just happen so quickly? It's like this family's here now, but then they're gone.

Chelsea Thomas 44:10

So it's a little bit of both sometimes. So the way that it works is like it all is dependent on your branch, your spouse, your base, your you know, like there's so many variables. But for us personally, when um he was stationed here in Florida, we I was close with the spouses, but not super close because where I am in Florida is like really spread out where people live. So like you could go, you could be part of the same base, but you could live an hour and a half away from each other, type of situation from like another spouse. So, but in terms of like people moving, you generally know because everybody gets there at different times. Um, so everybody has a different leave time, but everyone's sort of talking about it. So, like my best friend, she's a military spouse. We met when she and her now husband were stationed down here in Florida. And her husband and my husband were a cycle apart. So we moved, he moved first, and they followed. But you know, you get to those people where you're talking about it, and even now, like in Mississippi, like we know a lot of people who are in the same cycle as my husband. So we're all talking about like, hey, where are you going next? What are you doing next? Are you gonna try and stay? Are you gonna try and move? Like all of those things. So I you know, for us it just kind of depends on who we've really connected with. Um, but generally speaking, you you kind of know who's coming up and who's leaving and who's new and things like that within your squadron or within your you know immediate group of coworkers.

Khalila McCoy 45:49

Now, with family and flight, do you guys look at that information as well, or do you kind of just wait for the families to come to you?

Chelsea Thomas 45:56

So we don't necessarily look at that data. Um, we look at more so of like different bases. So there's certain bases within each branch that have a higher probability of geobatching, and those are the ones that we target. So we look at that data. So like Virginia has a really, really high population of geobatching.

Khalila McCoy 46:20

Do you know the reason behind that?

Chelsea Thomas 46:22

It's dependent on the job. Um so it really like Virginia has a very quick, from my understanding, we've never been there, but Virginia has a quick turnover. So it'll be like a year or two, and families are like, well, we're not gonna move for that. We're not gonna uproot our kids halfway through the school when you're coming back, all of these things. And then a lot of times you go into it thinking that and then it extends. And so now you're doing two to three years of this, and you're like, shoot, I should have moved. I should, you know. Um, so it's just the job type in Virginia, but it's really great for your career advancement. So a lot of people will choose to do that. There's a school um also in Virginia, so that's like a year and a half long program, and it's super intense, so you barely ever see your spouse anyway. So a lot of the time the families will say, You go do the school by yourself. This way you can study, you can focus, you can do all the things, but it's a year and a half if they're on time. Um, so there's that with Virginia. There's another place in Alabama that has a really high population of it, and that's because it's a school base as well, and that's a two-year program. So we kind of look at things like that and then really try to focus on those areas. Um, and then obviously anyone can come to us. Like we have families from Idaho um who join our support group, North Carolina, Georgia, you know, so we kind of have everybody sprinkled all throughout the United States at this point, honestly.

Khalila McCoy 47:48

Okay. Now, so if someone's listening and they're like, hey, I Geo Batch, how would they find your organization? And then other people who are like, this is awesome, I want to support it. Tell us all about that.

Chelsea Thomas 48:01

Yeah. So across every platform, so Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, LinkedIn, website, everything is family in flight. Um, so you if you search us, we should be one of the first that pop up. Um, but you can also search, you know, Family in Flight Geobatching and you'll see a bunch of our posts, and it's a very quick and easy way to find us. If you are in this position and you want, you know, to see other interviews of people who are also going through this, or you want to hear stories, success stories, or have questions. Um, I always like to say that when you email us, which is at hello at familyinflight.org, you're actually talking to me directly. So I don't I don't source that out to any of my team or any of our volunteers. Um, that does come to me. So if you have questions or you need to talk about something and you're not comfortable online, feel free to email us and I am more than happy to chat through all of this with you. And then if you want to support, we would love volunteers, even if you're not military. You know, we need things like social media, like grant help or you know, support group help. So you don't have to be military to support us. Um, we also are always open for donations, and like I said earlier, like literally every dollar goes back into supporting these families, whether it's gift cards, whether it's travel, you know, whatever it might be, the the dollar does go back. Um and so you can find more information on our website, which is just familyinflight.org. And everything is on there. Um, and again, if you email me, it is going directly to me.

Khalila McCoy 49:38

Nice. I know this this might seem like a random question, but um, like, you know, you work with um not you specifically, but like food pantries and things like that, and they're like, oh, you know, Christmas is a really heavy time of year where we have a lot of need or things like that. Do you have that within your organization where you're like, hey, if you're thinking about donating, really, you know, send your gift cards or your financial support at this time of year, or is it just like anytime, always, it's pretty consistent?

Chelsea Thomas 50:08

It's pretty consistent because we have people who apply for random things. Like we had somebody reach out to us, it was like sometime in the summer, I can't really remember, but she her husband was graduating and she and her daughter wanted to go, but you know, the drive was gonna be too long, and hotel and car, like there was just so many factors. So, you know, she that was a summer one. We do always have an increase at Christmas time just because of the holidays. Everybody wants their spouse home for the holidays, but you know, we also had an application last February that was like, hey, we just want to go on a trip, or we're planning a trip so that our kids can see their dad, you know. So it's really pretty consistent and full year round um at that point.

Khalila McCoy 50:52

Okay, great to know. So the podcast is all about listening to other people, different unique situations and experiences. Um, and as you share, this is not an experience that most people would have or even knew about before. So now that we've heard your story a little bit about your organization, what would you want us to take away from what you said and how can we use this to help us rise?

Chelsea Thomas 51:17

Yeah, I think just honestly being understanding and like just in general in life, I feel like us as a society has really gotten away from understanding each other and truly listening. And I think that geobatching or not, everyone can really take that away, but especially in the geobatching community, try to understand why this person had to make this choice. Ask the questions, talk to them about it, listen to them, you know, really try to understand what is going on. And I think if we can start doing that, it will start adding more compassion and more grace into our conversations and our daily life, and we'll be able to move forward as a community, whether that's the geobatching community or the greater community, in a much better spot.

Khalila McCoy 52:07

Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. I really love that. And I really appreciate your time, especially hearing how busy you are. I'm sure you have like a million emails to get to and things like that.

Chelsea Thomas 52:16

And no, I love it. I love being able to share this community with people because you know, it is such a passion, so I appreciate you. Yes, appreciate it.

Khalila McCoy 52:25

Yeah, I've actually when I saw that and I like I said, um, I read about what you do, and I already went on your Instagram and looked at it. It's it's really amazing the things that you're doing and helping. And I know you say like you don't take the credit yourself, which is I think is awesome that you're not like, look at me. But I mean, I hope you do realize that you are starting something wonderful and you didn't take your own, you know. Um, you know, I meet so many different people, and sometimes we take our pain and we kind of just sit with it. But I always find it really inspiring, and I know the listeners do too, when you take that and you say, How can I help other people who are in the same situation? So I'm glad that you are one of those people to do that. I know your community appreciates you, even on the bad days. Yes, it's good to kind of sit with someone who understands. So I admire you for what you're doing and your whole team and everybody. And I mean, always thanks for the service for your husband, but also families give up so much, and that's easy to forget, especially if you're like here in America where we have so many privileges and things like that, we don't always see and understand what's going on around us. I will be very honest, it might sound a little ignorant, but I don't know all the things that are happening in the military as far as like requirements and jobs and things like that. So I am always in awe of the sacrifices people make for others. So I want to thank you as well. And your children too.

Chelsea Thomas 53:50

All the crazy children that we have.

Khalila McCoy 53:52

And the dogs. And the dogs.

Chelsea Thomas 53:54

I can't forget them. Well, I appreciate you having me on. This has been wonderful and always happy to share our side of things on the military world because I also was like you and didn't understand it until I was in it.

Khalila McCoy 54:08

Yeah. I feel like that's probably even harder for you because you're like, oh, this is what I signed up for.

Chelsea Thomas 54:13

Good to know. Like, I guess I love you. Yeah. You know, I will say too, um, that I did just see today that somebody said it was a military video, and somebody said, I did not make the choice to be a military spouse, but I did make the choice to marry my husband, and it was his choice, and I love him. And I thought that that was so beautifully said.

Khalila McCoy 54:36

Yes.

Chelsea Thomas 54:37

We didn't make the choice to be a military family, but we did choose each other, and he was already military, so therefore, by default, sure, you can say we chose military, but we really chose the individual, and I think that's it was very beautiful.

Khalila McCoy 54:53

I really enjoyed this conversation with Chelsea. She was so fun and easy to talk to. Doing this recording was the very first time we ever spoke, but it felt like catching up with an old friend. If you or someone you know is geo-batching, I highly recommend reaching out to Chelsea and being part of her community. She has built a beautiful thing, and she is absolutely the kind of person you want in your corner. Check out the show notes if you want to reach out or to support her organization. And guess what else is in the show notes? A link to Chelsea's ebook. It is out. It's called Geobatching, The Raw Truth No One Tells You. A survival guide for military spouses and families navigating life apart. Again, that link will be in the show notes. And to continue with the updates, I did just talk to Chelsea, and as of March 2026, she still does know that her husband's coming home this year, but still no word on exactly when. So, Chelsea, we are definitely thinking of you, and we cannot wait for him to get the news and to be home with you guys again. This week, Chelsea encouraged us to be understanding, compassionate, and to show grace. If we're honest with ourselves, that is something we can all always be working on. I love that Chelsea's focus is around community because sometimes being understanding, compassionate, and showing grace to those closest to us is actually harder than offering it to a stranger. We have different expectations for those that we know, so we often forget to slow down and to just listen and to ask what that other person needs. So I'm inviting you to be mindful of that in your own circle this week and see how you can rise. I've loved spending this time with you, but that is all for today. So as you move through the rest of your day and week, I hope you take a moment to listen a little louder to yourself, to the people you love, and to the things that connect us in ways we sometimes forget to notice. I'll meet you back here next time. See you bye.