17 | "What Do You Want to Do?" | Finding Your Purpose

In this conversation, Erica Lynn shares her journey of finding purpose through podcasting and motivational speaking. She discusses the importance of overcoming adversity, the techniques for healing, and the role of personal growth. Erica emphasizes the need for honesty, for building a support system, and for protecting one's peace, while encouraging listeners to pursue their passions and not be afraid to ask for help.

Connect with Erica: 

YouTube: Erica Lynn Speaks

Website: iamaricalynnspeaks.com

Instagram: @ericalynnspeaks

Connect with this show on Instagram @wherewerisepod

Transcript

Khalila McCoy 0:02

Hey, I'm Khalila McCoy, and you're listening to the show that meets you right where you are. This is Where We Ride. Hey friend, thank you for joining me today for this uplifting conversation with Erica Len. We are talking about walking in purpose. There are seasons when you find yourself just going through the motions, wondering if what you're doing even matters, or feeling like fulfillment is slipping through your fingers. And listen, we all go through it. Erica invites us to pause and ask, What do I want to accomplish in this life? What brings me joy? What lights me up? And then go after it. Whether you're trying to figure out your next steps or just need a little motivation to keep going when life feels heavy, guess what? You are in the right place. Erica, welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_00 0:59

Thank you. Thank you for having me on your show. I appreciate it. Definitely.

Khalila McCoy 1:04

Erica is a pro. She has her own podcast and she also helps other people build their own podcast. So, Erica, tell us a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_01 1:13

Well, my podcast is Erica Land Speaks Podcast. And uh I shoot it live. Uh so we're live on YouTube and um two different Facebook channels as well as LinkedIn. So though the concept of the podcast is focusing on what's next, right? So after people go through maybe their traumatic experiences, then they're at a place of stuck and you figure out what's next in your life. But there's people who've graduated from college and they they sitting there like, I don't know what's next in my life, right? And so the whole premise of the podcast is to help you identify what it is that's keeping you stuck so that you can move forward and discover what's next in your life because there's so many things out here to experience in the world. And so I hate to see a lot of people waste all their good years and not experience what else is out here for them.

Khalila McCoy 2:06

Yeah. What made you interested in starting a podcast without focus?

SPEAKER_01 2:11

Well, this is new the new season, which is what's next. But I've been doing podcasts since about 2018. And so every time I go on like a break and come back, then that's considered a new season. And I might change up the background or change up, you know, the focus. But as a motivational speaker, the whole goal of everything that I do is to motivate and inspire people to just move forward, right? Because how many people just wake up on a daily basis and they just like, I don't want to get out of bed, I don't feel like putting on clothes today. I just don't, I feel blah, right? So, how do you recover from that place of blah, you know? And so then I've developed some tools and techniques to help people move past that place. But then the continuation after that is what's also important.

Khalila McCoy 3:01

Yeah. So you know it's it's good to have the idea of what to do, but if you don't know what to do next, then you're just stuck with this great idea.

SPEAKER_01 3:08

Absolutely. What did they say? They always say if you hear a lot of the speakers talk, they'll say some of the greatest ideas are in the grave. Because people have never shared their idea. They never took that step of starting that business. They had an idea to write a book, but they never wrote the book. And so a lot of people pass away, unfortunately, before they, you know, before they even tell anybody what they wanted to do or share their idea with them. And so I encourage people, even if you just write the book and just share it amongst your family, that is such a stress relief. It also is you feel free because there's some things inside of you that you wanted to get out and you put it in book form, and then that allows you to elevate and move on to your next level.

Khalila McCoy 3:54

Nice. I like that. I think today we're kind of going back to that first step because you're gonna talk to us about finding our purpose, right? And how your journey of finding your purpose, and then giving us a little bit of tips on how we can find ours. So before we dive into your story, first of all, how do you define purpose?

SPEAKER_01 4:14

Well, purpose is that thing that you know, you like, I know there's something else out there for me. I know that like God has greater things in store for me. And it's like you you have that feeling that there's more to life. Right. Right. But then when you get it or obtain it, you feel so satisfied, the gratification of even if, you know, and I'm dating myself, but even like if having a paper route, right, for some, you know, person and they wanted to make extra money, and uh, so they go out, they do this paper route, and they get to talk to all the people out in the world and make friends. And at the end of the day, they come home and they feel so fulfilled from something as simple as a paper route. And that was the and the thing is the biggest concept of it is the people that they touched along the way while they were delivering that paper. And so their purpose is the lives that they changed in that process. And so when you discover that thing that makes you feel full, right, man. Oh, it's a beautiful thing.

Khalila McCoy 5:22

How would you encourage people to find that? What if they, you know, I mean, like they're just like you said, living life, maybe they're just going to work, paying the bills, or not feeling fulfilled, and they don't even know where to begin with that would be your suggestion.

SPEAKER_01 5:36

Well, my first suggestion would be to uh identify other things that you like, meaning so you can get a pencil and paper one day and just start writing down. I want to do this, I'm I I want to take a vacation, or I I want to travel around the world, uh, I want to play basketball, I want to dance, I want to sing, you know, I want to write a book, I want to do a podcast. You know, just start writing down these things, right? And I don't care how crazy or weird that it sounds, just write them down. And then begin to uh start doing these things one by one. Like you don't have to do everything, you know, that you write down, but at least write down all these thoughts that's in your head. And then start actually doing them. And as you're doing them, you're gonna start experiencing different levels of gratification, right? So uh, because when I did this, I said, I want to do a podcast, I want to be a motivational speaker, I want to be a transformation coach, I want to write a book, I wanna be a painter, I wanna like, you know, there's just so many things that I want to do, right? And believe it or not, I do all of those. Wow. Yeah, I do all of those. I don't do all well, but I do all of those, okay? So I got like this whole paint set, and then I stand in the window and I paint these pictures, and they look beautiful to me, you know. Or like uh two years ago, I had all the women come over to the house and I I went and I ordered paint brush sets for everybody, and I order like pre-outline uh paintings, and we all came, so we kind of had paint with your twist at home, but the experience of it was the community that I, you know, got from the ladies and how I was able to just motivate and inspire them. So, yeah, so I do that. Yes, I I uh speak on stage. I, you know, I write my speeches, I get up there and I motivate people, and at the end, I listen. Let me tell you, one time I did this speech, it was a work conference, so I learned my lesson from that word conference, and I'm motivating them. Like if you have this job or this idea that you want to experience, you do it. And so this lady emailed me. She said, You inspired me. I quit my I quit my job. You're a little too good. And I was like, okay, let me tone it back a little bit when I do work conferences. I'm supposed to inspire them to like do great for the company. Not inspire them.

Khalila McCoy 8:03

Don't send Erica Lynn here, please.

SPEAKER_01 8:08

That is too funny. Yeah, yeah. So I I enjoy it. So, but it's enjoyment. I I get enjoyment out of the things that I do.

Khalila McCoy 8:16

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 8:17

You know, even when I'm in the studio recording the spoken word uh album, I forgot to throw that in. I do that too. But I I get enjoyment out of that. But then I take classes regularly. Um I learn tech, you know, AI, how to code and AI, all these kind of things, um, help develop businesses. I can I'm great at billing and coding, management, but you know what I mean? I just do a lot. And uh I just enjoy, I try to make the best out of everything that I do. And so I might not do everything all of the time, but when I do do it, I enjoy it. Nice.

Khalila McCoy 8:51

Yeah. What was life like for you before you found this part of yourself?

SPEAKER_01 8:58

Man, I was all depressed. I was I was broke down, I was depressed. Oh, I was super depressed. Um, I think when I can look back at it now and maybe put one to identify it in one way, I had the empty nester syndrome. Okay. So everybody was gone. My kids, they were all grown, you know, the two oldest lived out of the country, and then the youngest moved with their father. And this race of raising kids, uh this cycle of working two and three jobs and taking care of kids and, you know, trying to figure it all out. Well, one day I found myself at home. Nobody was there. My finances was terrible. I couldn't pay a bill if you threw a paper at me. You know what I mean? And I was working two jobs at the time. Yeah. And um, I just totally hit rock bottom to the point where I wanted to commit suicide.

SPEAKER_00 9:56

Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 9:56

It was it was it was bad. And um, and it was just so interesting how God sent somebody to come and turn that all around, right? So it didn't happen overnight. Um, it took me about six and six months of crying and weeping and woo-woo woo. And then one day I um I was just like, oh my God, I'm happy again. I'm, you know, wow, I'm excited. And it was like, I knew this was always in you. I knew it was gonna come back. And they said, so now that you're here, what do you want to do? I was like, I want to do a podcast. I want to be a motivational speaker, I want to write a book, I want to be a transformation coach. And it was like, okay, do it. And I literally the next day announced to the world, my social media, everything, all of these things that uh I want to be, right? And the funny part about it is what I love about this story is I thought when you tell people that you're gonna be a motivational speaker, that your phone just instantly started ringing for people to like book you. So my phone was like crickets. It was like, you know, you're like, did I send on that post? Right, right. So I said, Well, if if they're not gonna book me, then I'm gonna create my own platform. And I start putting on my own events and speaking on my own stage and book and bringing other speakers in, and then that's how I caught on, and then people start booking me to come and speak at their events.

Khalila McCoy 11:22

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 11:23

Yeah, yeah.

Khalila McCoy 11:24

What do you feel like you had to either get over or let go of in order to put yourself out there like that? Or even in those months of crying and things like that, what made you finally ready to step into your purpose?

SPEAKER_01 11:40

Well, I had to go through the seven techniques. I wrote a book called Seven Techniques of Healing. Okay. And I had to go through all seven of those steps to uh identify what was even wrong. Because at the time, I didn't have an idea or a clue what was wrong. I just knew I was sad, I was depressed, you know. Yeah, I knew part of it was financial, but there was other things too, you know, from uh abuse when I was younger, then the abuse to my um my, you know, my ex with my ex-husband, and just all of the the things that came from this cycle of life that I lived prior. So it just finally all caught up with me because I just kept running from it, right? So you can only run from things for so long. And you just run and run and run until one day it seemed like you just hit a wall and you crashed, and and your foundation that was never solid in the first place, it just crumbled and you just hit the floor, you know? And so then you gotta figure out either I'm just gonna leave, throw in the towel and just leave it alone, or I'm gonna climb back up. But the most important thing is when you climb back up, you have to do it step by step while building a proper foundation. Because if you skip those one of those seven steps, then what's gonna happen is you're gonna fall and crash or burn again until you finally figure it out, like how to rebuild yourself and the things that you're going through so that now you're standing on a strong foundation and things can come your way, and you like, oh, that's nothing. I went through worse things, you know what I mean.

Khalila McCoy 13:18

Now I want to encourage people to check out your book. So I don't want to give too much away, but thinking of those seven steps you said, so do you feel like they're sequential, like you have to take them in order, or would you say, mm, one of them is a little bit more important than the other ones?

SPEAKER_01 13:31

Nope, take them all, take them all. And when I wrote the book, I wrote the book asking you specific questions, and I even put a few lines in there, and you can actually write in the book, so it's an interactive book. Um, but from the book, I end up uh creating a uh a whole Seven Techniques of Healing program to where um at that time I was teaching the classes to help people go through their journey of healing. Um but it it just this is how I know when people are reading my book that I know that was close to me, I would always get the phone ring and they'd be crying, how did you know? I was going through this. Oh my god, you help me. You know, I mean, I'm gonna tell you this one quick story. So I had a neighbor, um, and I just were always here just cussing and fussing out my bedroom window. They were new neighbors. And I was like, don't they know I'm old? I don't go through all this. What's going on? So one day I caught the young lady outside and I just started talking to her and asking her, like, what do you want to do with life? You know, is this uh necessary for you to go through all of this like abuse and these things that you're going through? And I said, and I just talked to her and I poured into her and I gave her a copy of my book. She read that book in one night. When I got home from work the next day, she literally was like standing on my porch and I invited her in and she said, Thank you so much. I wouldn't register for school today. And I put him out, you know. Good. Yeah, yeah. And so when I see her, when I go back to uh my other house and I see her, um, she she look like she's doing good, you know. Yeah, yeah. So it's it's you you have to go through the process. You have to shed some things, you gotta cry some things out. But most important is you have to be honest with yourself about what it is that you're going through so that you can identify what it is, so that then you can begin the steps to uh going through your healing journey.

Khalila McCoy 15:28

You talked about being honest with yourself. I feel like that's so hard for people to do in what you're doing and through writing your book. What do you feel like? Why is it so hard for us to be honest with ourselves? Like it's just me and myself in the mirror, but I will still, you know, make up excuses or lie to myself. Like, why do we as humans do that?

SPEAKER_01 15:48

Because the truth hurts. It's easier to live a lie than it is to tell the truth, right? The truth hurts, you know, and then you have to like face some of these things, right? So when we talk about the past, one of the things that was hard for me to face was okay, yes, I did the abuse, I was abused, right? But then after that, I abused myself, right? And and some of the things that came along with that. So it was hard to take uh control or responsibility for the things that I did. Because at the end of the day, I'm a human and I make my own decisions. So after the, you know, that was over, I still had a choice and a decision to make on some of those things that I did, and it would just make me cringe in my stomach thinking about some of the things that I did. You know what I mean? And so, yeah, so it's easy to lie to yourself to tell the truth.

Khalila McCoy 16:42

All that off. That's a good point. Do you encourage people to find like a community or that one person to talk to?

SPEAKER_01 16:52

You want to find whatever resource that's best for you, right? So that's that was part of um some of the things that I started doing on my coaching program. So I do do one-on-one coaching um with clients and help them go through that place of going through their healing joint journey and taking them past that place of being stuck. But then there's some people you might focus better with a group community, you know, or you might want to, you might need medication, you know what I mean? And I can't prescribe um medication, but you know what I mean? So it really all depends on what you need and what works best for you. Because I might be able to help one person, but the next person, like, yeah, no, she not a good fit for me, right? So you have to go to who you're called to, you know, and and and utilize that avenue. But when you one of so this is what I realized uh when I decided, because I had took a hiatus and I came back, and I wasn't gonna come back this time because I was like, dang, what I do is really heavy. I carry a lot of things that people bring to me. So I'm carrying their problems and their trauma and you know, just the stuff. And it's heavy sometimes. And I said, so, okay, God, if I'm gonna do this, then I'm gonna do it the right way. So one of the things that I do, if you ever watch some episodes of my podcast, I bring some professionals on there. I bring, you know, regular people on that want to tell a story, but even if that regular person has a story to tell and it's heavy, then I still offer resources for individuals to go to, right? So last week we did um domestic violence and sexual abuse, the sexual assault. And man, uh Dr. Ladonna Combs' spite, she was amazing. And when she left the podcast, she gave me some flyers and some things that I can uh uh pass out to people that I run into that might need resources, but we also posted that on social media. So I can't help everybody with everything. Right. But what I can do is if you come to me with your problem, I am going to take it serious, address it, and uh refer you to the best resource that I have that can help you in that particular area.

Khalila McCoy 19:05

So it sounds like your purpose is to listen to others to care for them and help them find what they need. Would you say that's what you feel your purpose is? Yes. And I got a lot of purposes. Okay, well, tell me some more. Go ahead. What are your other purposes?

SPEAKER_01 19:23

Well, but that's well because um, so now that I'm at the age I'm at, right? So I I've spent a lot of years learning things. But at the same time, I didn't get what I say good until my latter years, right? Uh when there was no kids in the house, because I had plenty of time to study and then learn things, right? So like I developed a podcast academy. The podcast academy actually came about because I love tech, right? So I studied tech. Um and um when I came back this time, somebody said, you know, everybody's gonna ask you how to do a podcast. And I said, Yeah, and you and you probably get the same question. Uh, so what do I need to do? How do I do it? And you spend your the time that you spend helping that person with that free information, they will suck you dry with everything in you. I bought this camera. This don't work. What should I do? I need that light. What should I do? Where do you get this from? What do you get? And you like, dang, I had to get all this information on my own. You got to do trial and error just like I did, right? Right. And so, because of that, and I do understand that a lot of people want to do a podcast. Um, that's why I created the podcast academy. I give you every single thing that you need to start a podcast from the content calendar, from discovering your niche, from what equipment to buy. Like that's so helpful. Yeah, and it's only and like I I did a done for you starter kit for $97. Oh, that's a really good price. Yeah. So everything is there you need, but then you have those individuals. You can give them everything they need. And they say, I I still need help, right? Then there are they can get into my level two program, which costs us a little bit more, but you can work with me one-on-one, and you can be in the group setting. Um, but then you have individuals that's like, okay, I just need you one-on-one all the way through. And then they can go to my level three program and they can work with me because some people have more money to spend, but they need a little more assistance. And so then we can create everything that they need based on their income, you know, as far as picking the particular cameras and the lighting and just, you know, in the studio designing and setting it all up. And so that's what they get when they go to the level three program, you know.

Khalila McCoy 21:40

So you do a lot of stuff, you have a lot of businesses, and you still, like you said, have fun with your paint and with your girls and things like that. And then I also like that you mentioned that sometimes what you do it gets heavy, right? You carry that emotional burden of what you're talking to with other people. So for me, I feel like what I'm hearing from you is even though it's your purpose. It doesn't mean it's going to be easy every single day. It doesn't mean it's going to be simple and everything's going to flow. Is that correct? That is absolutely correct.

SPEAKER_01 22:10

So when well last season, I used to always say the motivator needs motivating too. And so that was my way of being transparent, saying, okay, I can carry all these things for everybody, but then somebody has to help me carry my things, right? Or at least release. And so I like exercising. It really helps. Even if I'm in the living room, jumping up and down for 20 minutes, man, I feel really good after it. You know what I mean? It's like letting go of steam. So I had to begin to find ways to release the things that was heavy in me so that I can always stand up and be my best self for the next individual.

Khalila McCoy 22:53

Yes. I've heard you mention God a few times as well. Do you it's your faith play a big part in how you live your life and the work that you do?

SPEAKER_01 23:02

Absolutely, absolutely. Um uh I thought I didn't really look when I went back and listened to my uh spoken word album, I said, I talked about God in every sentence. Like, because I didn't even realize, because I think I recorded this album in 2019. I was like, wow, I didn't even realize that uh I did it. But yes, he plays a big part in everything I do. Um I try to start my day with prayer. And if I don't get my morning prayer in, like when I'm riding in the car, I'm talking to him like, hey God, you know, this this is what happened to me. I need you to fix this situation because I'm kind of tripping over here, you know. I mean so you would think he was sitting on the passenger side the way we put the conversation, you know. So yeah, faith plays a very big uh part in everything that I do because without God, I don't think a lot of the things that I've done that I could have accomplished on my own.

Khalila McCoy 23:56

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 23:57

Yeah, yeah.

Khalila McCoy 23:58

How do you encourage others, either like who might not have the same faith as you, how do you encourage them to move forward?

SPEAKER_01 24:06

Well, I want them to um one of the things that I do, first of all, I encourage everybody to go and listen to this one plea piece on my spoken word. It's called motivation into your purpose. And it's a seven-minute um spoken word piece. And I and I got the beats on there. I hired um uh uh a bass guitar player to come in and he played, and I just and I just spoke all the way through, right? And when you get to the end of listening to it, even to this day, when I listen to my own self, I still tear up a little bit. But by the time I get to the end, I because I say you just stand up and fight. And I feel it so powerful. So I encourage people to just stand up regardless of what you're going through. You gotta go through that thing. It ain't gonna stay, it ain't gonna go away, but you gotta go through it. But with prayer, God can lessen some of the attack on you. You know, sometimes things is just coming at you, and you just like, oh my God. And He can lessen it and start moving things out the way, but you gotta go through it. Because if you don't go through it, you're gonna have to experience again at another time, right? So you might as well get through it now so that when you get through the end and you look back, you go, Wow, I went through that idea that I'm amazing, you know. So I just encourage people to uh, even if they're not Christians, they believe in something, you know, whether it's the Quran or Buddha, whatever, you know, just know that you're gonna make it through it. And from my way, God is gonna walk with me and those who believe in God, He's gonna walk with you every step of the way. So uh don't stop. And when it gets heavy, like to where you feel like you're gonna stop, that's when you start pulling in your support system. You saying, Hey, I need a little push, push me, get me going. I need to go. You know, I'll I I can't stop here. And then the people that you surround yourself with, um, they will give you that initial push on days where you just don't feel you can go anymore.

Khalila McCoy 26:19

Yeah. What's your advice with that support system? Let's say, like, you know, I feel like I'm walking in my purpose, I'm asking my support system to help me, and then maybe they're not as supportive, right, as I would want them to be. How do you know when, you know, is that person just being a hater, or versus like, I need to move forward?

SPEAKER_01 26:37

Well, I'm gonna tell you get you another supporter.

unknown 26:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 26:41

Another supporter, yeah, because um, and not saying that they don't love you or don't want to be there for you, they may not know how to be there for you with that particular uh circumstance or situation. So then you surround yourself with someone else or another type of group that uh probably have experienced the same things that you have experienced, right? So I'll give you one. Um when I I'm out driving, probably about I leave here about five something in the morning. So I'm rolling, doing my thing. I'll be out hustling in the morning, okay? So um last night I went to bed at 10:30. I was like, no scrolling. I'm going to bed, I'm going to be. I'm going to be there. But my assistant, I learned how to find that uh that option on the iPhone where you can talk to your phone and it just sends audio messages, right? So uh I messaged her about like five, six, seven o'clock in the morning because by the time I finish driving and then get to my next destination, I might forget what I want to say. So I sent her this workout video. I said, I want you to start this workout video. It's a five-day workout video. The first video on it is 20 minutes, and each day is like 20, 23 minutes or whatever. I said, but I want you to start here. I said, I know you was going through like a little funk for no rhyme or reason over the weekend. I said, but I've been doing this video, so I'm not asking you to do something that I'm not doing myself. And so she messaged me back and she was like, oh my God. She was almost in tears. Oh my God, I needed this. Thank you so much for the pick me up, you know. And and she, and so then the day, she was like, I did day number one. And she was like, I love it. Oh my God. She was like, I was I too hard on myself that I wasn't doing the exercises right. I said, girl, you don't have to do them exercises right. Ain't nobody in the living room but you and the TV.

unknown 28:43

Right.

SPEAKER_01 28:44

And I so I'm telling her, I said, get ready before day two, uh, because you're gonna have to strap it down. She's gonna have you jumping up and down, so you gotta strap it up. You got me over here cracking up. And so, in the humor of making it fun and laughing about it, everything don't always have to be, you know, like crying and sad. And so, you know what I mean? So by the time I break up the monotony that way, I'm like, wow, okay, it works. And it helps me too. I'm encouraged because I'm encouraging someone else. So to see that them going through it, you know what I mean? So, yeah. So if that person ain't doing it for you, get you somebody else, or you can call me. I help you.

unknown 29:28

I like that.

Khalila McCoy 29:31

Do you find that the most people you work with, like, are they usually from a certain age group, a certain gender? Like, is it more like you know, women at, you know, 40 or something are usually trying to find their purpose, or is it just anybody, just whatever stage they happen to be, like, or whatever journey they're on in their life? Right.

SPEAKER_01 29:52

That that part is whatever journey they're on in their life. Because when I first when I first did this, when I first became Eric Land Speaks in 2018, and I posted on social media that I'm a motivational speaker. I didn't even have like good content. I because I listen, I hated social media. I only had like my immediate family, but then I was forced to start uh friending other people and stuff like that. And I made an announcement, and this lady actually came in my DMs and she was like, You just popped up on my, you know, popped up on my feed, and she was like, I need your help. And so my first client was actually 60 years old. Okay. Mm-hmm. Wow. Yeah, and so, and so of course, when you market, right, they teach you in marketing that you have to market a certain age group. Right. But really, it's w it is really where you at in life and what you need help with because you might need something that somebody your same age don't need, you know what I mean? Yeah.

Khalila McCoy 30:52

How do you help somebody who is, you know, lived longer than you to find their purpose? Do you find like, oh, we don't have the same lived experiences, or is there just a common ground for starting off?

SPEAKER_01 31:06

It don't matter what age you are when I help you, because um, before I can help you, I got to identify what the problem is or begin to dig deep. And so I do sign NDAs and non-disclosures, you know, um, with my clients. And um, so then they're more open to share, right? And so um I have to dig deep down, down all up in there and get all that stuff, you know what I mean, so that I can can identify what what it is. And then we begin to um I give like some assignments out, right? So that we I can test where they at and and understand if they're like some people are self-doers, some people need their handheld, you know what I mean? Right. But once I kind of once I identify what the problem is, then I began to help create um, I want to say content, but help create like a course outline for you that we're gonna walk until you get to that place that you need to be. This is a funny story. Um, at one time I I was uh I think I was charging like $2,500 this one particular time. And this lady, she came, she signed up, and she paid the whole $2,500 in full. We had one session. One session. That was it. And she called me and she said, You help me. And she never came back. But but I see her all over social media. Like I talked to her, you know, after that, but she didn't need to come back. Like we had that one session, and the thing that I said to her helped her really pass that place of where she is. And when I see she over social media doing it big, you know what I mean? So yeah.

Khalila McCoy 32:44

Okay. Mm-hmm. That's awesome. As you're helping people, and you like you said, you're helping yourself too, like you're growing. So, what is something that you're learning about yourself through this process?

SPEAKER_01 33:01

Let me see. Uh I'm learning that um that I like to learn. Um I this go round, things are not as heavy for me.

Khalila McCoy 33:17

Okay. Why do you think that's different?

SPEAKER_01 33:19

Because I've learned different techniques to use for myself that allows me to offboard, you know what I mean, opposed to onboard and hold it on, hold it in. And so I offload or offboard it, you know, and so I'm able to bounce back to this happy person that you see. Um, you know, so even when I'm going through things in my personal life, I will shut people out or shut things out, but not to go in a place of depression or anything like that. I put my my feminine energy music on and burn my candles, and I'm just like, woosa, you know what I mean? Like, uh, you know, because I learned that I have to protect my peace. Yes. And when you learn how to protect your peace, then you will learn and identify things that you need to do that will help you protect your peace, right? And so I've been listening to this one um feminine energy song all day, but it has me centered. You know what I mean? It has me centered. So you have to find that thing that you like or that helps you focus. You know what I mean? You don't want to find that thing that sends you to a place of depression. Because there are some songs and things you do that makes you sad, but find that thing that centers you but uplifts you at the same time. You know what I mean? Yeah. So, yeah. So I just we know when you learn, know better, you do better, right?

Khalila McCoy 34:54

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:55

Yeah.

Khalila McCoy 34:57

What do you think is the hardest thing for people to learn? Like you said, learn better, do better.

SPEAKER_01 35:04

Well, the hardest thing that I've noticed is that people are so hard on themselves. Oh, they are so hard on themselves. Right here. I'm kind of bad at that.

Khalila McCoy 35:14

Yes. Say I'm preaching to the choir. Yep. I guess we can go now.

SPEAKER_01 35:24

Yes. And then, but to be so hard on yourself is really not necessary because when you get out here, you realize there's so many other people just like you that's going through some of the same things, have some of the same experiences. And if you actually could talk to all of these people and say what you do, you'd be like, dang, I ain't even half bad. You know what I'm saying? So yeah. So stop being so hard on yourself and laugh a lot more. You know what I mean? And just be like, oh well, like if I could cuss, I'll cuss. You know, you'd be like, well, I effed up. Oh well, let it go. You know what I mean? So yeah, you gotta, you gotta let it go.

Khalila McCoy 36:02

Yeah. That's a big part of why I started this podcast was just for people to see like you're not in it alone, you're not, you're not the only one struggling, you're not the only one thriving or surviving, you're not the only one. Like, you know what I mean? Like sometimes you even in a joyful moment, you feel alone, like nobody else wants to celebrate with you because everything's so heavy. Like, I feel there's so many layers and wonderful parts of life and also sad parts of life that we need each other. And I love that, like, even from what you've talked about and finding your purpose, it's your purpose, but it brings something to your community, it brings something to your world. So it's not like I found my purpose and I'm happy by myself in my own little bubble, but it also supports somebody else to bring them to their purpose, to bring them to some type of joy as well. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 36:53

My staff, I do my staff that way, you know. They be like, my boss is crazy. But you're so fun to work for. They be like, Listen, sometimes I gotta remember that, okay, like this is uh, you know, a job setting, right? Even though I because I be like, oh, I didn't mean to cuss, or oh, I didn't, you know what I mean. But but like when we have our um team meetings, right? Um, I start every meeting with a prayer. But before I did that, I did ask everybody what was their religious belief. You know, I made sure of that. And they was like, okay. And so even when other people come in and join in our meeting, I'm like, making sure that's cool. So I start with a prayer, but then I start with three motivational quotes for that day. I might just Google, give me three quotes, right? And I go through each quote one by one and identify with it, you know, what does that mean for me or what does that look like? But then I go to each one of the staff members that's in the conference room with me and and ask they their stance on it. And the goal is not for me to just be the one to do all of the talking, but I need to hear from you too. And when you do little things like that, then you can understand how people think that you work with, and you can hear a little bit about what they went through or how or how they, you know, want to overcome it. And for me as a boss, I'm like, oh, okay, I could do this nice thing for them because this is something that they thought about. So I listen with intent, but at the same time, it frees them, you know. Right.

Khalila McCoy 38:27

Yeah. I like that listening with intent and purpose to move forward.

SPEAKER_01 38:33

Yes, absolutely. Absolutely.

Khalila McCoy 38:37

So as we wrap up our time, my question that I ask all our guests is now that we've heard from you, how can we rise? What do you want us to take away from this conversation?

SPEAKER_01 38:50

Well, that makes me think about Maya Angelo. Still I rise. I love it. What I want the takeaway to be is no matter what you're experiencing, what you're going through, how heavy it seems to be, you will make it through it. There is a rainbow on the other side, you know, and you will make it to it. You just gotta go through the thing that you gotta go through to get there. Um, and if you need help, don't hesitate to reach out and ask somebody for help because you don't have to always carry things on your own.

Khalila McCoy 39:31

Yes, that's so important.

SPEAKER_01 39:33

Yes.

Khalila McCoy 39:34

And if somebody wants to reach out to you, can you tell them how they can find you?

SPEAKER_01 39:38

Absolutely. They can go to my website, I-m erika lenspeaks.com. So that's I A M Erica Lynn E-R-I-C-A. I always had to spell that because I would have C and not a K. But anyway, Erica I-C A L Y N N Speaks, S-P-E-A-K-S.com. And when you go to the website, everything is there, even the social media. But you can also uh just Google me, Erica Land Speaks, and I pop up. But all of my social media handles are the same, Erica Lynn Speaks. And so if you type it in, I'll come up on social media. So I'm trying to build my YouTube uh subscribers because my Facebook and all that, that's all off the hand, you know. I have tons of subscribers. But I would love for people to come and subscribe to my YouTube channel because I'm trying to migrate people from off of the Facebook platforms and actually bring them to YouTube and so that I can, you know, just drop content like the videos solely on YouTube. Right, but I can't do that because I got like 7,000 people here, you know what I mean? But I try to like come on on over to YouTube. Get on over to me.

Khalila McCoy 40:50

So YouTube is where it's at. We will put that in the show notes for you.

unknown 40:55

Thank you.

Khalila McCoy 40:57

All right, Erica. It's been a pleasure talking to you and very inspirational. I love your spirit and your attitude and your smile. So it's been really great talking to you.

SPEAKER_01 41:08

Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate you.

Khalila McCoy 41:15

I really enjoyed talking to Erica Len and hearing her perspective. She had me thinking about my own purpose, what I do, why I do it, and how blessed I feel to be walking in it. As most of you know, I am a school teacher and I love it. I teach children and adults, and there's nothing like watching someone try something new and grow right in front of you. But, like Erica mentioned, there are other things in life that bring me joy and fulfillment too. She encouraged us to make a list, and I took some time to think about it and jot some things down. I'll share a few of mine with you. First is this podcast. Starting it was a huge passion project of mine and a huge step for me. My goal right now is simple. Finish season one and then step boldly into season two. Second, I want to get out into the world more, meeting people, talking to people, hearing their stories. Whether it's for the podcast or just for me, I love connecting with different types of people. Third, I want to write a children's picture book. Fourth, I want to travel with my family wherever the wind may take us. And finally, I want to spend more time giving back to the community. Growing up, every Thursday when I visited my grandmother, we would go and feed the homeless. I believe that simple act of service really shaped who I am today. So tell me what's on your list. Take some time to write it out, and like Erica said, start taking steps towards making these things happen. They don't have to be big steps or dramatic. They just have to be right for you. Alright, y'all. That's it for today. But as you move through the rest of your day, I hope you take a moment to listen a little louder to yourself, to the people you love, and to the things that connect us in ways we sometimes forget to notice. I'll meet you back here next time. See ya bye.