Finding Both Success and Fulfillment || Alan Lazaros

Ep 38: Finding Both Success and Fulfillment || Alan Lazaros

In this episode of Pebbles of Light, Anne sits down with Alan Lazaros, founder and CEO of Next Level University, to explore what it truly means to win the “game of life.”

After surviving a near-fatal car accident at 26 — echoing the loss of his father at age two — Alan shifted from climbing the corporate ladder to pursuing deeper fulfillment. Today, he leads a global coaching and podcasting organization and shares a powerful framework called the “Four Buckets”:

• Unsuccessful & Unfulfilled
• Successful & Unfulfilled
• Fulfilled but Broke
• Fulfilled & Successful

Together, Anne and Alan unpack:

• The difference between transactional and transformational growth
• Why success alone often leads to emptiness
• The role of regret in awakening purpose
• Leadership, credibility, and personal responsibility
• Why fulfillment must align with sustainability

This episode is for anyone who feels successful on paper but unsettled in spirit.

🔗 Connect with Alan:
Website: https://www.nextleveluniverse.com
Instagram: @alanlazaros

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@NextLevelUniversity

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

No matter how hard your past has been, no matter how hard your present is, you have a spotless future. And after this conversation, you can go on your own mission, your own hero's journey, your own adventure. And and it needs to be for something greater than just you. And then what you'll find is that it ends up being also for you.

SPEAKER_01 0:19

Welcome to Pebbles of Light, where we highlight the everyday people who bring hope, comfort, and light to others. I'm your host, Ann Maxon, sharing meaningful stories to help you find light in your journey. If the messages shared resonate with you, please follow, share, or support the podcast through Patreon to help keep the mic on and spread the light even farther. Welcome to Pebbles of Light. In our last episode, we talked about gratitude, influence, and using your daily deposit of 1440 minutes with intention. That episode's pebble was to write one handwritten thank you note to someone who shaped your life. A pebble of light, if you will. I hope that you're able to do that. Today's episode asks a different question. What do we do when success doesn't feel like enough? My guest today is Alan Lazarus. Alan's life has been shaped by two car accidents. One that took his father when Alan was two, and one that nearly took him when he was 26. In the aftermath of the second accident, Alan turned from a climb up the corporate ladder into a deeper search for meaning. Now, through next level university, he helps others pursue growth in health, wealth, and love. Alan, I'm so excited to have you here. Please take a moment to introduce yourself.

SPEAKER_00 1:33

Yeah, thank you for having me, first of all. I really appreciate it. Gratitude first, I always try to start with gratitude because I remember 11 years ago when I started Alan Lazarus LLC, what you'll never learn in school but desperately need to know, and it was crickets. So I'm grateful to be here. Thank you. Um introduce myself. So I am CEO and founder of Next Level University. It is a podcast with 2,350 episodes now, but it's also a company. We have something called Next Level Podcast Solutions that produces podcasts. We produce 86 podcasts now. And I coach 26 business owners. So that's the thing I'm most excited about is I get to coach pretty much six days a week now with people all over the world where it's deep one-on-one conversations. And the reason that's so exciting is obviously number one, the impact that you can have on other people, but I learn so much from different industries, different backgrounds, different countries. My global awareness has come through the roof over these last five years. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:36

And I love that you said not only are you able to have impact on others, but the impact that they have on you. And I've I've discovered that often happens. Yes. I will go and I'll attempt to try and serve somebody in some way. And I end up getting so much more out of it than I feel like I actually gave them. Same.

SPEAKER_00 2:53

As a matter of fact, I had a client reach out recently in one of our private WhatsApp groups and she said, Thank you so much. You've changed my life. And I remember thinking when I read that, like, you also changed mine. I coached this person for seven years. And uh, if I had never coached her for those seven years, there's so much less awareness that I would have now. So much less. So we said this on the pre-chat that we did. It's a Bruce Mao quote. I you cannot set a torch to light your own path without also, or light another's path without without also brightening your own. And I think that that's very true. However, we sometimes miss that. I've learned so much about myself, where I fit on the bell curve, you know, appreciating where I live. I'm learning about all these different economies all over the world, and it's just been awesome.

SPEAKER_01 3:42

So cool. So when you started kind of exploring this idea of personal development, what shifted first for you? Was it your habit, your mindset, your identity? What what did that come about?

SPEAKER_00 3:53

What shifted first was my my decision to reach my full potential. So trying to be as practical as I can with this. The car accident was 11 years ago. It was actually in the winter, so I think it was actually almost exactly. Okay. So yeah. Um, I'm 37 now. I was 26 at the time, so I say 11. Okay, so 11 years ago, dark winter night, I was supposed to yield and I didn't. Head-on collision, 30 miles an hour, both cars completely total. I hit a lift kitted pickup truck, big truck, and fortunately no one was killed. But I think what changed most in hindsight is I I had a ton of regret. I actually read a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying by a woman named Bronny Ware. You've heard of it? Yep. Yeah, cool. Okay, so I got to interview Bronny, and uh I have these tattered flashcards that I've carried around for years, and one of them is the top five regrets of the dying. They're all ripped up and tattered now. But the number one regret of the dying in her book, she worked in hospice for eight years with the terminally ill, and she noticed these same patterns of regret. The way they lived their life was suboptimal in hindsight. And so as a reverse engineer, I was like, okay, well, these people have the answers, so let's go there. And uh the number one regret of the dying is I wish I had lived the life true to myself and not what others expected of me. And I think that prior to my car accident at 26, my dad died in a car when he was 28 when I was two in 1991. So for me, this was 2015. This is the second chance my dad never got. And I was filled with regret. So of course I find a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, but I didn't really know what I regretted yet. Now I do. I regretted I did really well, I wasn't a bad person. Like people are always like, Well, what do you mean? You were so successful. Listen, I wasn't putting it all on the court, and I wasn't putting it all on the court. I was resting on talent. Yeah, I did real well in school and awesome, go me. I don't care. I was I was barely scratching the surface of my true potential. And I regretted wasting time and effort on stupid things. Genuinely. And you gotta explore, I get it. Like if you're young, you gotta experiment. But I'm 37 now, and now 11 years, I've been putting it all on the court now. So that's what it is for me. Is it started with that shift, and then the habits followed, and the mindset followed, and and the personal development, personal growth, and self-improvement followed. So what really shifted in me internally was the promise I made to myself, which is Alan, you will never again squander your full potential. And it was a little more hardcore than that, but I won't say those words. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:33

My inner dialogue is very hard on me.

SPEAKER_01 6:37

As you came to that understanding, how did you realize that you were the person to help share those tools with others as well with next level university?

SPEAKER_00 6:46

Well, first I was just naive. So 11 years ago, when I found personal growth, self-improvement, and personal development, I read every freaking book I could get my hands on. It was the Tony Robbins and the Stephen Covey's and the Jim Rohn's and the Augmandinos and the Wayne Dyers and the, and I just went down the rabbit hole of all these personal development books. And the majority of it, though, is probably not uh that sound. But uh I think at the beginning it was just naivete because I was a straight A student in high school, got to go to one of the best engineering schools in the world. It's called WPI Worcester Polytechnic Institute. And I say got to go because I got scholarships of financial aid, fortunately, because when my stepdad left, we were broke. But uh then I got my master's in business there. So I was this sort of straight A student, graduate with high distinction, my undergrad, computer engineer, master's in business, and I was always a very curious, existential learner. And it's when I found personal growth, it was like, okay, habits, self-discipline, self-efficacy, self-worth, vulnerability, courage, humility, character, time management, productivity. Like, where was this? And I still feel that way. It is like I do masterclasses every month. I have one next Thursday. I've been doing them for five coming up on six years now. And I did one on productivity last month. And there was probably 15 people virtually, they're private on Zoom. And I said, Anyone here ever take a productivity course in formal education? Is there anyone here who middle school, high school, college, whatever, wherever, because people, we have Canada, we got people all over. Has anyone here taken a productivity course ever in formal education? And no one, no one, zero. Productivity is the basis of your career. Like if you can't learn how to stay focused and be productive, you are in so much trouble, particularly if you own a company. But to me, I just saw that. So in the beginning, it was just naivete of thinking, number one, I was naive about how much I actually did know at that point. I realize now that I actually did know like a lot about the outside of personal growth. And it turns out that my education level was already really high, which I didn't really understand at the time. Now I do. And the second part was I actually thought people would care because I cared so much. Like when I found fitness and personal development, personal growth, self-improvement, mental health, I was like, oh, this is the this is the cheat code. These are the answers. I've been looking for these my whole life. I now realize no one else is, not no one, but a smaller percentage of the population even cares, right? They know more about Kim Kardashian than they do about their own personal development. And now that's been really depressing. I tell my business partner, Kev, I say, we are, don't get it twisted, man. We are selling kale outside a candy store. And nobody cares, unfortunately. But I got to keep doing it because kale's good for you and and it'll change your life. But yeah, I think mostly in the beginning it was just naivete. And now I think I understand the the hard truths of the world, which is you're pretty much gonna have to f miyagi people into caring about this stuff. You remember the karate kid, and he was teaching him how to wash cars, but he was really teaching him karate. That's so so to answer your question, I think my new baseline is nobody cares about personal growth. What they do care about is what they think personal growth can get them. So what I've found is people want to be successful. And and more importantly, they actually want to be significant. And so what I've learned how to do over time, showcase success of health, wealth, and love, and then point it to listen, these books, personal development, habit tracking, learning, like, because learning, nobody really learns for no reason. Like, if you if you know a lot about football, you probably are passionate about football, but you don't know a lot about the economy, or maybe you don't know about a lot about your health. What I've found is, and this is actually neuroscientifically proven, if your brain does not associate this learning with a goal, subconsciously or unconsciously, not necessarily consciously, then it's gonna shut off because there's too much information, especially in the 21st century. And that's actually one of the things I have to do better at. Like even in this episode right now, I'm thinking to myself, okay, why does anyone care? Right? Okay. I used to say if Tom Brady taught geometry in New England, we'd all know the Pythagorean theorem. And what I meant by that is Tom Brady was a big deal in New England, the New England Patriots. When I was a kid, I saw some of my teachers. I'm not trying to hate on teachers. I love teachers, that's not my point. But this teacher in particular, I remember thinking, like, why would I learn from you? You're divorced, you're broke, you're out of shape, you hate your life. Kids are smart, man. They can tell when you're miserable. Why would I listen to someone who isn't leading by example? And so for me, I try to live my life with number one, Alan, if you aren't doing it, you cannot talk about it. So do it first yourself, then talk about it, and then connect it to something other people value. And I think our values are messed up. Like it's crazy that we value some of the nonsense on YouTube more than like authors that have dedicated research for decades. You know, I I think it's very hard for me to see someone shaking their booty on Instagram get more attention than, you know, Dr. Stephen Covey, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, because only one of those is going to help you in your real life, right? So it's been really hard for me, especially for young people, to see I gave a speech at a career day to a group of high school students. And uh I it was like personal growth and podcasting and why it matters and how to have a voice and courageous communication. And and at the end, one of the young women in the back, she raised her hand. I thought it was going to be a great question. I was so excited, and she said, What do you think of what's going on with Kim and Kanye right now? I said, After that hour-long speech, that's your question. So I said, I don't think anything about Kim and Kanye. I don't pay attention to nonsense, and neither should you. The majority of what's on the internet that wins is actually really bad for you.

unknown 12:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:51

I've heard it described as like processed food for your attention, right? It's just similarly that whole foods are a lot better for your body physically. Whole, you know, things that you dedicate your time to is so much better than just processed foods.

SPEAKER_00 13:06

And you will feel the difference. You'll feel the difference. We have been getting Whole Foods literally from Whole Foods, but it's night and day different. And trust me, I understand. I used to eat McDonald's too. I get it. It's delicious. I get it. You gotta outgrow some of that junk.

SPEAKER_01 13:25

And it's a great metaphor. So I feel like what you've talked about too is how people kind of get caught up in a trans transactional change versus a transformational change. And what you want to get to is that transformational, but you may have to start with the transactional by helping them recognize what those outcomes are, those flashy things that they want. Yeah. But then eventually buying in and being like, okay, the effort is worth it. I'm gonna put in the deeper work. And in doing that, it leads to a transformation for them. How can you help people from that perspective of finding that being like, okay, it's okay to do the transactional at the beginning, but eventually I need to switch my mindset into a transformational mindset? Well, I think, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:07

I mean, whoever's the leader. To me, leadership is about whoever has the highest awareness and the highest capabilities. And that is rarely the person who's like the loudest.

unknown 14:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:18

It's actually almost never the case, which is actually part of the problem. Because there are some really loud idiots, right? Uh so I'll start there with you have to go into it knowing whether or not you're actually supposed to lead. So there's something in this. So right now I'm leading and I appreciate it. You're asking questions, that's great. Thank you. I'm the guide. But there's things that you are way ahead in awareness and capabilities, and I need to be aware enough to know that. So if there's something that you're really good at that I'm not, that I would I would turn into the student. And so the the best students become the best masters, but the problem is that you get perceived as a student. And that's actually one of the hardest parts about being a coach or a mentor or a guide or a therapist, is you're actually really curious, and I want to learn from you, and I was at a family gathering. Amelia and I, and she this was when she first met my birth father's side of the family. And when we left, she said, you know, all of them think that they're smarter than you now, right? And I was like, No. They couldn't possibly. She's like, Alan, you were the one asking questions the whole time. I was like, Yeah, because I like to learn. That's why I'm smarter. And she's like, no one's gonna connect that. She was absolutely right. She thinks that they think that when I'm asking questions, it's because I don't know. She was absolutely right. The person asking questions is perceived as a student, not a master. But in real life, the one asking questions is the smartest. So perception versus reality is the biggest issue. A perception is what people think of you. Reality is what you really are. So that's number one is lead by example. Number two is show something that indicates to others that you are actually credible in that arena. Most people fake that now, unfortunately. And then the third one is actually teach and guide and hold people accountable and lead. It's really lead. Lead by example, showcase that you actually have the results in the way they perceive it, and then actually lead others by influencing and helping them see a greater future for themselves. See potential in them they don't yet see in themselves, but it has to be real and it has to be something that you eventually get them to see over time. And that's a whole nother challenge. I mean, that's probably the hardest thing in the world. It's I think leadership is the hardest skill in the world. I also think it's the most valuable skill in the world.

SPEAKER_01 16:39

And fulfilling in its own way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. Yep. I've heard you talk a little bit about four different buckets. Can you can you share your thoughts about those those four buckets and and the progression from one bucket to another?

SPEAKER_00 16:52

I haven't talked about the four buckets in a while. I love the four buckets. Okay, so existentialist, 37 years old, my whole life I've tried to figure this game of life out because it's pretty alarming. It was for me growing up. It was very alarming. And in hindsight, it's it was pretty terrible, but it's gotten better. Okay, so the first bucket is where we all start, and this is definitely where I started. You're not successful and you're not fulfilled. I'm gonna use me as an example, but I want you thinking of you. I was a cart kid and a busboy for a golf course called Crystal Lake. Crystal Lake Golf Course. And I made minimum wage, I think it was$7.25 an hour. And uh it was not my favorite place in the world. And I didn't really like it that much, but I got to be outdoors a bit, whatever. So I was unsuccessful and unfulfilled. That's bucket one. We all start there. Everybody starts there. Bucket two, I finally got to. Stepdad left, broke as a joke, took 95% of the income with him. My mom trades in her BMW for a little Honda Civic. I get free lunch at school now because our income is so low. How am I gonna go to college? Rutrow. No trust fund, no generational wealth, no dad. I'm in some trouble here. I'm 14 years old, like kind of lost three families by the time I was 14 because my mom got in a fight with my aunt Sandy. We got ostracized from her side. We didn't associate with the McCorcals much, my birth father's side. My stepdad left and took his entire extended family with him. Never seen or spoken to a single one of them since. So 14 years old. I'm a freshman in high school. And it was like, okay, how am I gonna do this? So I went from unsuccessful and unfulfilled at that time to straight A's in high school. I got signed by George W. Bush behind me, the president's award, all the scholarships and financial aid I could get, got to WPI, Worcester Polytechnic Institute. It's like a mini MIT in Massachusetts, got my computer engineering degree, which was to this day one of the hardest things I've ever done. But anyway, so master's in business, boom. Corporate. Corporate, I thought was really easy. But again, I feel like I was geared for that. I rose quickly in tech, industrial automation, and I won that game. So now I'm in the second bucket. Now I'm successful and unfulfilled. So bucket one is you're unsuccessful and unfulfilled. Now you're successful and unfulfilled.

SPEAKER_01 19:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:10

Because you think wealth is gonna help, and it does a little bit. But I didn't have kids, I didn't have a mortgage. I was just like, I'll just invest all my money. Paid off 84 grand worth of college debt in a single year, had 150 grand in a Vanguard account with all tech companies that I knew would win. Now I'm in bucket two, I'm successful and unfulfilled. That's where a lot of people stop. A lot of people are still there. And that's when the midlife crisis comes. You either change your life or you buy a Ferrari, right? I'm kidding. Um, so I got kicked out of that bucket by my car accident. And then I flipped the script and I went broke. Liquidated all my assets, started my own company, thought people would care. They didn't. And now I'm super fulfilled. I am traveling, I'm living the dream, I'm happy, healthy, and productive, like on fire, reaching my full potential. But I'm broke. Now my income is low. I've liquidated all my assets, and it's like, oh shoot. So third bucket, you realize, okay, uh-oh. I'm in my passion and my purpose, but I'm not making any profit. Then you got to get to the fourth bucket. This is the bucket almost no one gets to. You are now internally fulfilled and externally successful. That means you have won the game of life. Keep climbing. The mountain gets higher as you climb it. It doesn't get easier, you handle hard better. But the point that I'm making is that fourth bucket, once you get there, you got to now keep it and not just keep it, but grow it. And then eventually you get to the fifth bucket that I never mentioned, which is you start helping other people get to the fourth bucket. And that's my world now. And I'm very grateful for that. So for anyone out there watching or listening, figure out which bucket you're in. Because step one is acceptance of what bucket you're in.

SPEAKER_01 20:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:50

Step two is learn about the next bucket and then figure out how to bridge the gap.

SPEAKER_01 20:56

Yeah. What I was going to say is that I think we talked when we talked previously about I have a health tech startup. And just this week we got some great news because we've been doing this pilot and we learned that it's working, it's helping patients, it's making a difference in their lives. Nice. And as we're getting that feedback, like I got choked up. And I was like, seven years ago, seven years, that was a long time ago. Seven years ago, I was kind of fed up and I was like, we need to do better for patients. We need to give them the support that we need. We need to help them be able to get answers to their questions faster when they have issues with their medications. And we need to do it in a way that's not a burden for their healthcare providers because they already have a lot going on. Nice. And so we we get this feedback that is doing what's supposed to, and it's helping the provider feel like they're able to be more efficient with their time and do all the things. And I was just like, it was so fulfilling, right? To be like, okay, we're there. So now we're like, okay, now we gotta get to the fourth bucket where we're actually making good money with this, with this process. But I just kept thinking about that when you were talking about the importance. Fulfillment. I was like, we did it. We we made it in a long time coming, but we made it.

SPEAKER_00 22:06

First of all, congratulations. That's awesome. Win win-win. I always say win for the world, win for the consumer, and win for the company. Also, win for the team, win for the owners, win, right? Win win win win win. If it's not fulfilling work, you're probably not going to win at it anyway, at least not long term. Because you can only do something, right? So, so my business partner and I, a good example of this. So, Kevin, we joke. I am a coach that tolerates podcasting. And he is a podcaster who tolerates coaching. Yeah. Yeah. Because I like one-on-one, deep, customized stuff. He likes one-to-many, wide net, capture a large audience. And luckily we both do both. But I call it the want-love-hate framework. I want more clients. I love one-on-one coaching. I hate social media. I want hungry body. I love fitness training, weight training, and I hate dieting. I do. I hate it. I hate it. Now, I just hate having to restrict calories. Love, I'm hungry right now. We're doing a 10-pound and 10-week challenge. I do. I kind of hate it. I like being bigger. I was tall and lanky, so I like being in a surplus. So the want, love, hate framework is a little anecdote for everybody. Everything you want is on the other side of something you hate. And people are like, well, hate's a strong word. Okay, then you strongly dislike dieting. Like, I've never found an exception. I think it's a law. I do. Everything you want has something in it you love and something that you hate that you have to climb over or go through in order to get there. I didn't want to get a therapist. Absolutely not. I didn't want to face all my atrocities of my past. But it's changed my whole world, right? So the gold is buried where you least want to dig. And if you're not in that fulfillment bucket, which you just got to, you probably won't sustain your passion and your purpose long enough to be profitable anyway. So if nothing else comes of this, I hope everyone out there, you don't have to love what you do every day, but it has to be meaningful work for you. Life is too short to do work that doesn't matter. And unfortunately, what matters most isn't always what the economy pays for.

SPEAKER_01 24:15

Kind of along with that, one of the things that we talked about before too is that idea of being driven by our childhood hardships. Cause I had kind of a similar issue where people didn't have a lot of faith in me to be able to become much when I grew up. And it will it was a driver from the perspective of I'm going to show them. But that's not fulfilling. And you may be able to be like, I told you so. But uh eventually you have to do it for yourself. You can't just do it to like shove it in someone else's face, right?

SPEAKER_00 24:42

What I um what I've found is, and I tell this to Kev too, because we both have chips on our shoulders, you did too. Um, I say, don't take the chip off. Just don't let it run you anymore. You run the chip. Yeah. You run the chip. Yeah. And the truth is I was miserable as well when I was achieving at the expense of meaning and to, you know, prove myself and prove my worth and stepdad and all that stuff. And I wonder if that's part of what is supposed to be in the growth journey, right? Were we just gonna skip that bucket? Probably not. So I learned a lot, and ultimately the drive was there on some level to prove your value or prove your worth. I think that's where it starts a lot of times, particularly for achievers. And then eventually that's empty and unsustainable. And then you have to transform it and alchemize it into meaning, purpose, values. And so what drives me now, we have these things called the five M's of motivation, next level M's of motivation. The first one is mastery, which is getting really good at what you do, and the process of getting better. That's my big one. I love it. I love getting better at things. The second one is marriage. So, or mating, which is love, marriage. A lot of people are driven by finding the love of their life. That was a big one for me. The movement slash freedom, movement, being able to do what you want, when you want, as much as you want, whenever you want, with whoever you want. That one's a big one for some people, autonomy. And then the the one that isn't for me, but it's big for other people is materials like nice car, nice home. That doesn't motivate me personally, but if it does for you, I found that one to be the big one for most people. And then the fifth one, and the most important one, is mission. Being on a mission. Be the change you wish to see in the world. That is the one that we were not taught. What happened? Like, where was the course on how to align with a mission? My mission to be the change I wish to see in the world is to spread personal growth, personal development, and self-improvement to the world, to try to help people work on themselves. Because when you work on yourself, you become better. The people you associate with become better, you inspire and motivate others to get better, the whole world gets better. If you impact a thousand people who impact a thousand people, thousand times a thousand, that's a million. So it's like, and then a million times a thousand is a billion. And there's only eight billion people on the planet. So you can change the world. You can, you just don't know you can. But mathematically you can.

unknown 27:13

Right?

SPEAKER_00 27:14

You don't have to be Oprah Winfrey to change the world. You can be whoever you are. And if we understood that, which we weren't taught it, so I don't I can't tell if it's the like, do I blame the individuals who stay ignorant, or do I blame the school system that obviously doesn't teach us anything well? Not nothing. They teach us some things well. And it's like honestly, I think it's both. But I the one thing that I would say is the individual is where I think it needs to start. And you, as an individual that I'm talking to out there watching or listening, no matter how hard your past has been, no matter how hard your present is, you have a spotless future. And after this conversation, you can go on your own mission, your own hero's journey, your own adventure. And and it needs to be for something greater than just you. And then what you'll find is that it ends up being also for you.

SPEAKER_01 28:02

Yeah. For sure. Awesome. Thanks, Alan, so much for being here. I've got one last question, but before we get to that, can you share where people can find out more about you, about next level university? What are those spots? And I'll be sure to put all the links in the show notes too.

SPEAKER_00 28:17

Absolutely. Thank you again. Start with gratitude, end with gratitude. I do Instagram and Facebook now. Those are the only ones. Instagram is the best one, if you want to DM me. That will be me, not my EA, not AI, me. Nextleveluniverse.com is the website. We do masterclasses. We have a book club. We we have a group coaching program we've done for 21 quarters in a row. So over five years. We we we do relationship stuff, I do health, wealth, and love. Um, and then the podcast, there's 2,350 episodes of next level university. Next level you, pun intended. Not next level Kevin, not next level Alan, next level you. Awesome.

SPEAKER_01 28:52

Thank you. So the last question is about the purpose of the podcast, which is to celebrate those relationships that have brought light into our lives. Can you share about one or two people who have placed a pebble of light in your path?

SPEAKER_00 29:06

Love this question. The way you framed it is different than I've ever gotten it, which I also love. The light of my life, the best light that has ever come into my life is Amelia Smith. She is, we we met six years ago, and I was the engineer trying to get this relationship. So success always came fairly naturally to me for the most part. Relationships never did. Relationships made no sense to me. It was like, this is awful. This seems awful. Because as an engineer, you're so rational, and it seems like people don't make any sense. And um it took me 30 years to figure this thing out. I I met her when I was 29, almost 30. And ever since it's been like she said at the beginning of our relationship we were never gonna fight. And where I grew up, I was like, not a chance. Are you kidding me? Uh, because my mom and stepdad did not get along. That's a polite way to put it. And she's like, No, Alan, when when there's a fight, there's a winner and a loser, and when you fight, no one wins. And so we're not gonna fight. We might have challenging moments and debates, but we're not gonna fight. Six years later, not a single fight. No slam doors, no yelling. I mean, where I grew up, whoa, right? This is the best. So the light of my life, Amelia Smith, the best thing that's ever happened to me. And then the other one that I would say briefly is Christine Pryor. She's my favorite teacher in the entire world. She was my AP Calc teacher, and she took me to WPI to the math meets, and she was there for me in a very dark time. I wrote her a letter in my twenties saying thank you, and she read it in front of the class and cried. So it was really special. And uh, I think we all have a teacher that that changes our life. And you know why, too? It's she didn't just teach AP Calc, she also let us discuss life.

SPEAKER_01 30:48

I love that. There's a number of times when I've asked that question, people have talked about a teacher, and I love that because for me, especially growing up, having uh some difficulties growing up, those teachers became just really important touchstones for me, especially those teachers who taught more than what was in the syllabus, right? Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 31:06

Well said. And shout out to the teachers who are doing that, by the way. I know your hands are tied with a lot of stuff, but getting kids to debate the existential conversations about life and politics and maybe not politics, but you gotta get them thinking about what they want for their life and debating. Like we used to, Mrs. Pryor, I would argue about does conditional love or unconditional love. Does unconditional love exist? And I'm I'm 14, 16 at this point. And I think no. She's like, I unconditionally love my husband. And I was like, if he woke up first thing and slapped you across the face every single day, eventually you'd fall out of love. She's like, no, I wouldn't. The truth is in the middle, it's duality. There are conditions to love, and there's such a thing as unconditional love that can live past those conditions. And I I think that now I understand that, but when I was 16, I didn't know. So but the cool thing was the debate, debate if it's healthy, is really important. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:02

Thank you again so much for being here. I really appreciate the time, Alan.

SPEAKER_00 32:05

And it was a pleasure. Absolute pleasure. I will come back anytime. Thank you for having me, and thank you for doing what you do in the world. And uh I look forward to seeing where this goes.

SPEAKER_01 32:16

This conversation with Alan wasn't just about success. It was about alignment, about living true to yourself. The pebble for this episode is to take five quiet minutes this week and ask yourself honestly, which of those five buckets am I in right now? And what can I do to work towards the next bucket? Write it down. Awareness is the first step to growth. Personally, I'm really excited to check out the Next Level University Book Club. They meet weekly on Saturdays, and it's completely free. They've read some of my favorite books by authors like Brene Brown, James Clear, John Maxwell, Stephen Covey, Greg McEwen, and more. Be sure to check the show notes for more information about the book club as well as ways to connect with Alan. And you'll find details there on how you can support Pebbles of Light through Patreon and Buzz Sprout. As always, thank you so much for being part of this community. Thank you for tuning in. My hope is that something helped you feel seen, encouraged, or inspired to bring light to someone else. If a name or moment stood out, don't let it pass. Reach out, express gratitude, or take that next step. You can connect with me anytime on socials at Pebbles of Light or at anMaxen.com. If this episode was meaningful for you, please follow the show, rate or review, and share it with someone who might need a lift today. And if you want to go a step farther, you can support the show on Patreon. See you next time.