It’s Always Too Soon to Quit || Jay Setchell

Ep 40: It’s Always Too Soon to Quit || Jay Setchell

What happens when life knocks you down — not once, but over and over again?

In this powerful episode of Pebbles of Light, Jay Setchell shares his extraordinary story of resilience. Jay’s life is a testimony to faith, perseverance, and personal responsibility.

His mantra — “If it is to be, it is up to me” — became the foundation that carried him through life-altering injuries, rehabilitation, and rebuilding his life again and again.

We discuss:

• How to shift from victim mindset to personal responsibility
• The power of vision in recovery and physical therapy
• The difference between faith, belief, and hope
• Why serving others strengthens us during our own trials
• How adversity can refine — not define — us

Jay is the author of The Strength Within You: It’s Always Too Soon to Quit, a #1 ranked book on attitude and motivation through physical disability.

Connect with Jay:
Website: https://neverquittrying.com
Jay’s Book: The Strength Within You: It’s Always Too Soon to Quit  https://amzn.to/4sfg7L3 

Resources:

“Tested, Proved & Polished” by Henry B. Eyring - https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2020/10/51eyring?lang=eng

Episode 23 with Myrna Peterson - https://open.spotify.com/episode/5y7aw8qbGsUj0oca5oAWkC?si=RzAiS5QsQHWlsMVxN1PJQA 

Listen to Pebbles of Light:
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3BsMFWIg6KKrj6inrlkxai
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pebbles-of-light/id1534389323

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

I think going back for a moment to the lady at the parallel bars that you saw struggling and stuff, the one thing that I would say to people at PT and OT, they look at the now. They don't look at the future. If you don't have a vision for the future, if you don't see the other end of the parallel bars, and now you're walking off of that and sitting back in the wheelchair, I've been there. I understand that. But I didn't start down the bar one hand at a time. I looked at the end of the bar. It's the future that you have to work towards.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Welcome to Pebbles of Light, where we highlight the everyday people who bring hope, comfort, and light to others. I'm your host, Ann Maxon, sharing meaningful stories to help you find light in your journey. If the messages shared resonate with you, please follow, share, or support the podcast through Patreon to help keep the mic on and spread the light even farther. Welcome to Pebbles of Light. Last week we were invited to focus on the one, choosing a single person to intentionally encourage. Today we meet a man who has lived that invitation through decades of resilience, faith, and an unwavering commitment to never quit trying. Today's guest, Jay Setchell, carries a simple but powerful conviction. If it is to be, it's up to me. Through discipline, failure, and faith, he's discovered that it's always too soon to quit on who you are becoming. Jay, thanks so much for being here. And please take a moment to introduce yourself.

SPEAKER_02 1:33

Thank you for having me. I appreciate the opportunity. I've already got my name given out, so Jay. But I'm a born and raised on a farm, north central Illinois. So we got up into Wisconsin a lot and enjoyed the fishing way up north. But, you know, a lot of responsibility on the farm. That's probably uh, you know, they say your formative years are from kind of birth to about 17, and and that's what we had. We had a lot of cattle, we did a lot of agricultural spraying with airplanes, raised all sorts of crops, you know, big working farm. So sense of urgency and for those that live where there's a change of seasons, I think that sense of urgency and the sense of responsibility is amplified, and you can see it because winter is a dead time, but that's when you fix stuff, that's when you work stuff, or you maybe have another another project that you work on. Springtime is the refreshing of the world, the refreshing of yourself, you know, and your crops go in. The summer is growing, it's cultivating, it's taking care of them, and the fall is harvest time. So there's always something happening, but you get certain parts of the world and it's kind of the same all year round. And people don't have a sense of applying um learned knowledge or responsibility to different times. Like there's no big hurry to hurry up and get winterized, for example, where if you're a place where it gets 20 below zero or five below or thirty below, you've got a lot to do. And in the spring it's the opposite. But anyhow, I did that. Um the Marine Corps spent some time doing that, not not too long before I ended up being in the hospital for a year. That's another subject we'll get into, I think. But uh got out of that, rehabbed a little, started some businesses uh because I it was very hard for me to find businesses that would allow me to stand or allow me to sit, combination because of the injuries I had. But did that, eventually went uh had another physical problem, went ahead and started some other little businesses afterwards and kept going. I always I like to be busy because I'm in a lot of pain, and and I think busy hands keep a busy mind. And when you're busy and you're working on stuff, and I learned that from my parents, it just takes your mind off of it. And if you're sitting alone, concentrating on something, it's like or thinking about not thinking about something or doing something, wow, it hurts. But then I got corporate, did that, did very, very well. That's when I had another bad injury, but still made it back from that. Eventually they retired me when I was 41 years old. So then I got back into the entrepreneurial side again, and uh, we've just gone through life. Now I'm I'm 76 years old. My wife and I are raising twins that are eight and a half that we adopted. We've had them since they were three weeks old. We adopted them at three years. And uh that and I'm very involved yet corporately and and um as a partner at a big company that's national and international. It's just I I I I I I can't because of what's happened to me in the past, I never want to quit. I never want to quit. I I believe it's always too soon to quit. I've been saying that for 60 years, and I'll probably always say it.

SPEAKER_00 4:52

So I think that also kind of feeds into the idea of farming too, that idea of not quitting. I was just thinking about the the concept of short crops and long crops, right? And sometimes those long crops, it's gonna take a while and it's gonna take a lot of work, and you're gonna have to continue to wait. And so, but don't quit on those crops. Like you need to hold on.

SPEAKER_02 5:13

It's the same with like feeding cattle. You gotta it takes a lot of foresight. Where are you gonna go with it? What growth you're gonna have? How are you gonna be maintain your equipment? And it's always down the road. There's so much stuff that you have to think about, not a week or two weeks or three weeks in advance. I'm talking a year or two years or five years, ten years. Where are you gonna go? What do you want to do? Now, that's changed so much radically, actually, from farming to raising cattle to life in general for all of us. So it's hard to do that.

SPEAKER_00 5:51

Yeah. So as far as that that mentality, it's probably family. Were there others who were kind of architects of your character while you were growing up who helped you get that idea of of perseverance and resilience in the face of adversity?

SPEAKER_02 6:05

There's just two or three teachers that stick out in my mind, one in particular that has got a a good little story with it, but but uh teachers, neighbors, and the thing with being raised where I was at, our closest neighbor was a mile away. So your other neighbors who were six, seven, eight, ten miles, what you still knew them. And we were only about four miles out of a small farm town, about 4,200 people, and my mother was a teacher, raised four kids at the same time and taught piano lessons in the evening. And my dad was always involved and very well known within the community. We always helpful. So, you know, my parents were terrified that I would be what I like I was at home when I was elsewhere, and they would say, How was Jay today? Or how did Jay was A-OK? He's one, he's great. He's a wonder, he's a helper, you know. And so they said, Well, we wish he'd be like that at home. So, you know, but I think that those people, it's it's a general thing. I kind of refer to it's kind of like a drip, drip, drip, you know, a little bit here and there, a little bit from a lot of people. A lot of people, it it adds up over time. And I Yeah. Yeah, I that's how I kind of look at it.

SPEAKER_00 7:13

I feel like that that idea of it takes a village to raise a child has changed a lot in the last couple decades.

SPEAKER_02 7:21

I call it the microwave society. I've been saying that for about 40, 45 years. Because everybody wants it now. It's convenience. It's not convenient to cook a meal to have supper with your family and enjoy it and say grease before a meal. No, it's easier to, oh, let's just stop on the way home and we'll grab a pizza or we'll order ahead on our phone and oh, I'll get points. It's like all of that, it doesn't matter. It's like it's it's gone. A lot of that is just gone. And you're right, though. And and it's that's a good saying that I like that, that it takes a village to raise a child. And but we don't have a today, you know, back in the art those days, Ann, everybody knew everybody. Yep. Up in northern Wisconsin or you know, the areas you're familiar with, you knew who your neighbors were eight miles away or ten miles away. And today you don't know the person living next to you or across the street in a lot of cases. Probably the bigger part of cases, because how many people live in apartments? They don't know the person above them, below them, beside them at all. Yeah. Exactly. That's interesting.

SPEAKER_00 8:31

In your in your intro, you alluded to a few times where you've been kind of knocked down and had to get back up. Um can you share a little bit about those experiences as well as what helped you to get back up?

SPEAKER_02 8:42

Uh the three times that are the most, actually, there's been seven, but three that were real bad. When I was 17, right after I turned 17, five about a week after, uh I was in a uh walking down on feeding auger on the farm, and I it I had to do it for a certain length of time and distance. The auger got turned on and turned off. But I was getting ready to leap off the auger into a snow drift. It was uh the about January 4th or 5th, 1967, and um uh it had and my foot slipped off the auger and and it broke my ankle and sliced my boot open, sliced my leg open, and but I was able to launch off into the snow drift, and of course I was bleeding and stuff, and my grandfather came out of the silage shed and had had that auger run for four or five seconds, it I would have looked like hamburger. It had been done. But moving on, uh when I was I went in the Marine Corps and uh I was only in the Marine Corps 17 months and 12 days and died in a car accident, hitting a semi while I was taking another Marine that was very severely injured back to base to get him help. And uh his wife was with us and holding the compress, the pressure compress on his head, and uh she ended up being in a coma 18 months and passed away. And the gentleman that I was taking back to base wasn't as torn up as I was physically, but he had burns over 60% of his body. And I don't I didn't get as bad of burns, but I was physically ripped and torn badly. But uh you know, I I I think what part of what helped me get through that was youth. I was young, I was in very much shape. I'm a gung-ho crazy marine, and uh I jokingly say I didn't have permission to die anyhow, so that kind of got me back. But but I I think just the fact that I have an old saying, I I've said it for a long time too, is sweat dries, blood clots, and broken bones heal. Suck it up. And you know, when you're laying there and your legs are broken, your ankles are broken, you got third-degree burns, you've got all this stuff wrong with you. It's just a matter of time and patience. And can something go wrong? Sure. You know, I mean, it gets infections or whatever, but I think it was just the faith that I was gonna make it out. You will yourself to do certain things, and eventually did it and was able to walk and leg braces and out. The second time was uh four ye almost four years later, I got hit by a drunk driver almost head on, and he didn't have a seat belt on, got thrown out of his pickup truck and run over by his truck and killed, and I rolled several times down into a ditch and was trapped real rap badly in the car and uh was bleeding out, lots of injuries into my arms and ribs again and lots of injuries. When when I had my first accident, I had a really bad out-of-body experience, and I was looking down with my back above the ceiling. I'm gonna back up a second, and I was looking at the doctors as they decided that they they couldn't save me. I was I was done for, and they were walking away. So it was very violent. I want I I was cussing, I was swearing, I if I could have choked them, I would have done it. Another doctor came in that was a neurosurgeon, and I can only presume that potentially he was called because my face had 32 facial fractures, I had my skull was caved in, severe TBI burns, so on and so forth. But he eventually cut a tracheotomy in me and the blood just spewed out like a whale surfacing. And he had determined or thought or took a guess that my lungs had been punctured, which they were, in multiple spots, left side and right side. So I had drowned in my own blood. And the the my heart, the reason you couldn't get a heartbeat or any blood pressure, is my heart was so compressed with the impact of the blood not being able to escape the body within my heart, I mean within my lungs, it all kind of rolled into. So if it wasn't for him, but I don't recall I remember the blood going up, and then I don't remember much of anything. I I was in a coma for quite a while, and then they put me back in another coma because I was so torn up. But the car accident, the second one, or the drunk driver, I uh I was like ascending up into the sky because I bled out. And um I was out in the middle of the cornfields, northern Illinois. There's nobody around, small towns, you know, six, eight, ten miles away. And by the time somebody got there, I I was pretty far up. I was starting to hear I was hearing voices. I mean, I was up. It was like they were friendly voices. I felt welcome. I felt I was safe. I it was quiet. I didn't feel and I never felt any pain, any at all, in in either of those. Not a bit. So, you know, and I watched from up above as I kept ascending the emergency crews that finally got there, but they got me out. Well, they get they were working on get me out, and they took a couple of other gentlemen and they did direct blood infusions into me. Now, once that was going on, I watched them, but I kept ascending. And then I don't remember anything else till like four or five days later, and I came to in the hospital. So at some point, they got me going again. The the third time was eight years later, and it was on the 4th of July 1981. Married my third my second time for three weeks the day that it happened, played volleyball, went down and jumped in a swimming pool, make a long story short, jumped in, landed feet first, and broke my neck in four places and drowned. And um that the other two changed my life physically on what I could accomplish, but I could still accomplish quite a bit. When I was paralyzed from the shoulders down, and that whole scenario at that age is when I really got back into faith or understood faith and some kind of a purpose. And and and it was much, much harder than anything I'd been through before, including the Marine Corps, which was bad. And that's kind of what put me on the trajectory through the rest of my life. So all that trajectory and all the surgeries, 73 surgeries in between all of this, it's like when's it gonna stop? You know, so it's I I think that's part of what's given me that it's always too soon to quit attitude, because I'm not gonna let it stop me. It's something else is gonna happen. It might happen this afternoon. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

Yeah. I've heard you talk too about um a gentleman who you met, I think it was after the I think it was after the pool incident where you jumped in and had the process and they'd offered to say a prayer for you. And then they they shared that prayer with others and how it was on Sundays and you would feel strengthened on Sundays. Can you share a little bit about that?

SPEAKER_02 15:43

Sure. Um it w it was, I don't know how many days after I broke my neck, and I was in traction and I was face down in a circle bit, and my wife came up and introduced me to a gentleman by the name of Tom Cooper. And his son, they they met in the waiting room. His son was in the huddle, and she just asked, she said, This is Tom Cooper, and what he would like to say, is that okay? And blink your eyes. I've got enough common sense to I'm not gonna turn down prayer. And so I blinked my eyes, and he and I don't remember what he asked for or said, but you know, something to the point of hoping my realization and God's gonna help me and be with me and my family and help and so on. And then throughout that time that I spent, he came and saw me quite a bit. But he belonged to a a church that had a congregation of about 5,000 people. And he would go to every all three services with 1200, 1500, 1800 people, every s all three services, every Sunday, the entire time I was in the rehab center up in Minneapolis. And um, but I'm an overachiever. I I'm never gonna quit. I'm I'm gonna work it to death, I don't care. That's it. And I know that I got a little bit back during the weeks and the months over time, but it seemed like it was so incremental, it's like watching the grass grow. I think it did, but I can't really tell. But on Sundays, for some reason, if I have a testimony to give to anything about prayer, on Sundays, I would get more back just being in bed. And I think it was the power of prayer because I had four or five thousand people here praying for me that he was asking for prayer, and they all stood up and they all prayed. And my mother and her church and me doing prayer, i i and and and that's what really changed my outlook on faith, the word faith and belief versus hope. And there's a big difference between the two, between the three.

SPEAKER_00 17:44

As I was preparing this morning, I happened to be looking at this address of this talk called Tested, Proved, and Polished. And uh it's by Henry B. Iring. And there was a quote in there that just struck me that I kind of wanted to get your take on. He said, The greatest blessing that will come when we prove ourselves faithful to our covenants during our trials will be a change in our natures. By our choosing to keep our covenants, the power of Jesus Christ and the blessings of his atonement can work in us. Our hearts can be softened to love, to forgive, and to invite others to come unto the Savior. Our confidence in the Lord increases, our fears decrease. In addition, we must notice the tribulation of others and try to help. That will be especially hard when we're being sorely tested ourselves. But we will discover as we lift another's burden, even a little, that our backs are strengthened and we sense a light in the darkness. And I'm sure you've had plenty of time in physical therapy studios where you've got other people trying to work next to you, doing different things. And in those opportunities to, you know, cheer somebody else on or say, hey, you're, you know, it's hard right now, but keep going. What opportunities and what what role has serving others played in your recovery and uh along with that faith aspect of it?

SPEAKER_02 19:04

First of all, that's a good quote. There's a lot of if you were to read it again, I would even want to point out some specifics in it because it's there's some very good thoughts that really got my mind thinking about it in direct answer to your question. Well, and getting back to the quote though, it did change my life. It it what I went through from that point on. I I I'm gonna tell a little story here that my uh my mom and dad came and visited, I was at rehab them, and uh I I don't know if I was having a bad day or whatever, but she just said, you know, I said something to her about, you know, I wonder why me. And I didn't mean woe is me or why me about now, but why me? I mean, this is not the first time. This is this is just this is going on and on and on and on. And after I got hit by the drunk driver, one of the first things I remember was my mother hitting me with a rolled-up newspaper on the right side, which wasn't injured too badly, smacking me, saying and yelling at me, saying, quit doing this to us. And can you imagine her? I mean, you know, because four years before that, she's there, she's at the hospital in the Marine Corps, and she doesn't even know who I am. Can't you can't recognize me. So um, but but they were up there, and but I said, you know, why Mima? You know, it's like this isn't the first, this is goes on and on. She said, Well, Jay, you gotta realize that, and this was a big point, that she said, you jumped in the pool. You elected to jump in the pool. Now, you had some guys who were gonna throw you in. I don't blame you for jumping in, but you know, hey, it is what it is. And you jumped in the pool, but God helped pull you out. It was God, it was God that helped that young lady when they realized when you were turning colors and you'd been under about eight minutes, and then God helped the young man help jump in and help her because he could see that she wasn't accomplishing the task of getting me up off the bottom. So I've always right remembered that, that you elect to do what you do, it's God that helps you throughout it. And that's what it was. And so carrying that forward, getting back to your question, is I I know when I used to get pushed to therapy to therapy, the physical therapy or occupational therapy, and I would stop in rooms, you know, and I would just like, you know, and here it's got a name above the door, Sally Smith. You know, okay, well, Sally Smith, and I can see, well, she's got a halo cast in like I did that pulled it in my skull. Or maybe she's just laying in bed. Is it a stroke? You know, or or she's got she's a paraplegic. But she's in there, and it would it only went to spinal cord injuries, traumatic brain injury, and strokes. That's all it was. I would stop and I would just say, Hi, Sally, can can I talk with you for a few minutes? You know, and I'd introduce myself and say, I'm in a room like eight rooms down. I I've Would ask them, did they mind if I say a little prayer for them? Or, you know, and they could see that I was a mess too. It was like, do you have any goals, Sally? Well, no, I haven't really thought about that. They just come and take me down and have me do the loom or help me sit up or help me try this or that. And so consequently, I would say, well, why don't we set some goals? You know, and then I would see them in PT, as you suggested, or OT, occupational therapy. And I would tell the people, you know, hey, I'm a triple-A extrovert. I it doesn't matter to me. I mean, what are they going to do? Throw me out, you know? Well, never know. Um, but encourage them, you know. But the the point being, a lot of that got people laughing. It got people, it energized them. They became more enthusiastic. And nothing great ever happens without enthusiasm. I believe you gotta be enthusiastic. It's a combination of really reaching out and trying to help other people. But I got that from my parents. I watched them because back on the farm, back when I was younger, you know, you'd have a farm, and farming was very dangerous. It's still dangerous. Somebody was injured or somebody was hurt. You took their crops and you helped them out. You, you know, if they were sick and you heard about it, you knew about it. And we all had party line telephones back in those days, you know. And, you know, it's like, oh my gosh, Joe Schmidt's dad's really sick and blah, blah, blah. And you made sure they got a big pot of stew that would last for two or three meals, a big peach cobbler or cherry crisp or something. And and you took it down, you took it to them. It was part of the community. And so to me, all I was doing was paying it forward like my parents would have done, or like I learned to do as a child. Because I went along with them. You know, I mean, we'd always go help. It was part of the deal.

SPEAKER_00 23:59

Exactly. I think that idea, too, of serving others and bringing enthusiasm is so important in that type of a setting, in those types of physical therapy types of situations and stuff like that, because people can feel pretty downtrodden and lonely and not really understanding the trajectory of their life and and mourning a bit for the change. There was uh when I was in high school, I thought about becoming a physical therapist, which is why I chose my undergrad school. I went to a College of Saints Glasgow, which is in Duluth, and it was a big PT school. And so my senior year, I was planning on doing PT, ended up not, but I did a rotation at the little hospital in my small little hometown. And there is this one particular lady who um was struggling with her legs. I don't know exactly what was wrong, but she was struggling to walk. And so they had her on parallel bars, and she was trying to figure out how to walk and do these things, and she would get so frustrated, and she would just sit there on the parallel bars, and she would start to cry, and then she'd start to shake because she was crying, and then she'd sit down and and catch her breath. And I think for me, the saddest part of it was watching her sweet husband watch her struggle and hoping for her to be able to figure this out, and everybody was trying to speak encouragement to her, but it just wasn't it wasn't getting through. And then I was gone for Christmas break or something. I was gone for a couple weeks, and I came back and I was assigned to go up to her room to pick her up and bring her down to PT. And I walked in and even just walking into the room, you could tell that the the countenance in the room was a little bit different, and she had kind of a newer wheelchair and she was facing the window. And when I went over to to get her, I she'd been her legs had been amputated, both of them. And um, I thought, oh goodness, um, what will this do for her her perspective on things? But interestingly, it was kind of the opposite. I brought her down, she was like, I'm gonna figure out how to use this transfer board and transfer from my chair to this bed, and my husband's gonna help me. And I would spend time sitting with her husband, and he shared insights with like he was talking to me about going to Saints Colasica, and he's like, Oh, that's a religious school, right? I said, Yeah. And he's like, Is religion important to you? And I said, Yes. And he said, Well, that's that's very important. And you know, he just shared those little nuggets of information that helped me as well. So I'd kind of grown emotionally close to this family. And so being able to see her her mindset shift and be like, okay, I'm gonna figure this out. Yeah, things may be worse now in some ways, but I'm gonna figure it out. And that that reminded me of your your quote about that idea of if it is to be, it is up to me. And how can people shift that mindset of of victim mode to, you know, I'm gonna figure this out. If it's if it is to be, it's up to me. And I'm going to take back as much as of my life as I can get to get back on that trajectory that I want. So what what are your your thoughts there as far as how to to help people with that?

SPEAKER_02 26:52

I think going back for a moment to the lady at the parallel bars that you saw struggling and stuff, the one thing that I would say to people at PT and OT, they look at the now. They don't look at the future. And I realized that way back when, you know, and people they they would ask me, why are you doing this? We're here now. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We gotta if you don't have a if you can't see something, if you don't have a vision for the future, if you don't see the other end of the parallel bars, and now you're walking off of that and sitting back in the wheelchair, which I know that's what they were doing. They were following her with a wheelchair. I've been there. I understand that. But I didn't start down the bar one hand at a time. I looked at the end of the bar. So I think that that's something that it that isn't taught. That's not something that's maybe they don't even think about it. It's the now. That's what they're concerned about. But it's it's the future that you have to work towards. So, you know, if it is to be, it is up to me. I I think I just kind of like looked at that and that I'll I'll go back to when I was a very young boy. I was, you know, five years old, and I had to go downstairs in the morning into the old basement and get the warm water running and mix up, you know, the the 10-quart pails, uh, the nipple pails you use to feed calves, and you put, you know, like a cup of dry powder in it, you mix it with water, and you beat it up, you take it, and you uh, you know, you drag it through the snow or in the winter and you drag it through the tall grass in the summer. But if you don't do it yours, if you if I didn't do it, my dad told me those are your calves. You're responsible for feeding them. If I didn't do it, who was gonna do it? So if not me, you know, who is it gonna be? So if it is to be, it is up to me. And that that should go back. And I and I talked to my I've got a son that's 50, and um he here about four or five months ago, he and I were talking about something, and he says, Daddy, said, you know, I know what you're gonna say, you know, because he had this he had this issue that he was trying to deal with, and it wasn't a big issue, but I I was getting ready to say, you know, if it is, and he says, I know what you're gonna say, you don't have to say it because you told me when I was 15, you know, if it is to be, it is up to me, and I've never forgotten it. And they were, he and three or four of his friends were throwing those eight-foot-long um neon light bulbs, they're throwing them like javelins. Well, the cops could drive down the alley and they they got 150 light bulbs smashed. Well, they had to clean them all up and all this, and he got, you know, had to do community service and stuff. But the my point was to him at that point is what are you the heck are you doing? You know, you got your driver's test coming up and stuff, you know, and all this. This is all up to you, son. You know, I can't drive the car for you. I can't take your test for you. I can't take your vision test for you. I can't do that. If it is to be, it is up to me. You've got to do it. Your mom can't do it, nobody else can do that. And so I don't know. I that's you know, uh, and I and I did and I did use it at Sister Kennedy Institute, you know, with some of those folks. I I did, and Sally, you know, if we're gonna move ahead with this, you've got to put the effort into it, you know. And I always did more than I was supposed to, so I encouraged others to do more than what they're because the therapist wants to see you raise your hand three times, okay? Raise it four times, raise it five times. Can you do that? Do you think you can do that? And if you challenge them with some thoughts like that, well, yeah, I mean, they never told me I should raise it four. I go, can you do it five times? And pretty soon I had therapists down there that are saying, Jay, you've been talking to these people too much because they're doing more than what we ask them. But that's how they got better. That, you know, and and if I hadn't done it, I would have never, I would never have walked. But I had the vision I could walk. What's it gonna take? And it took a lot of blood, sweat, and tears is what it took. Literally.

SPEAKER_00 31:22

Yeah. So I think with that, you've kind of shared ways that you have shared a pebble of light with others. And one of the last questions on this podcast is always about the purpose, which is to celebrate those who've placed a pebble of light in our path and inspire us to share our light with others. But can you share about one or two people who have placed a pebble of light in your path?

SPEAKER_02 31:43

One one person initially comes to mind. I've mentioned this before, and I was a sophomore in high school, took algebra. I was bad. I don't understand how you can take X plus Y equals Z. And if I say it's one plus two equals three, and they go, No, that's wrong. I go, wait a minute, you didn't give me any specific. So I didn't do well. And my first semester, I got like a D. The second semester was rough, it was worse, and and I failed the final. And the gentleman's name was Ron Malcolm. And and on the way out of class, I was one of the last ones. I was set kind of towards the back of the room. And Mr. Malcolm says, Jay, he says, Come here, man, will you please? And so I walk over, yes, sir. You know, and and he said, Listen, he said, uh, it's Tuesday, tomorrow's Wednesday, I'm gonna be grading papers, doing report cards, doing all this stuff. Thursday, you're coming back for half a day, picking up all your stuff in the different classes, et cetera, et cetera. And it's the end of the year. I'd like to invite you back, and I'd like you to try one more time to to take this final again to see if we can get you past. And yes, sir. And and I was working, I I was very busy anyhow, and but I showed up that afternoon and and I took the test. And I think he even gave me an extra ten minutes. In my heart, I knew I bombed it. It was kind of like I knew I could walk and I knew I could bomb this test, but it it was two things. And so I went up and turned my paper in and he grated it and turned it upside down and and uh he said, You know, I want to tell you something. And as a matter of fact, then he turned actually he turned the paper back over and he says, You you failed it again. That I want you to know that you came back and tried and ultimately, no matter what, and I don't remember the exact words, but he said, you know, people that try and don't quit trying will always outdo those that don't try, that think they're pretty good, or they try a little bit, but they don't continue to try, try, try, try, try. You know, and I invited back seven students total, and you're the only one that took the time to show up and try again. You're gonna go a long ways in life because I already know that school's out a quarter to four, Jay. I know you go to work at four o'clock and work till 12 30 at night. You've been doing it for two years, and you're plus I took care of my cattle and was up at 5 30 in the morning and I was back at school. I mean, it didn't matter. I worked at it, I tried. And so he said, but straight A's never got anybody rich, but trying does. And I'd always tried, but I didn't look at that and think about it till later, till years later. And then I remembered Mr. Malcolm and him saying that, and he saw something that I didn't see, or he said he had the guts to say it to me, you know. But I did try. And it ended up that he told me, because you came back and tried, I'm gonna pass you. D minus, but you're gonna pass.

SPEAKER_01 34:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:43

I said, Yes, sir, I'm good to go. But no, I don't remember that I saluted. But but it was a pebble in my life that caused a ripple. And and it was probably an unseen ripple, to be honest. Yeah, I'm gonna try harder and try harder. But I always I was al I I was raised with some good parents to throw that in there with and grandparents that you know, if there's a will, there's a way. You know, all those little things. How do you eat an elephant, one bite at a time, kind of thing, you know, busy hands, busy mind. You know, all of these things. Stay busy, keep trying. You know, if you can't, just take a little different route. But, you know, and I'm sure there's others, but not one that stands out as specific because I haven't thought about it for all these years. And I've moved very fast throughout my life. I've had so many surgeries so many times I've been hospitalized, so many companies I've started, so many moves I've made. I think that it's kind of like I've picked up a little bit from so many good comments. And and one that stands out, pops out right now, is a gentleman I work for named Bob Miller out of Madison, Wisconsin. He was a division manager, and it was corporate. But when I was a district manager, became a district manager, he used to use words of management of firm be firm, fair, and friendly. And and it and it and firm, fair, and friendly was good. It worked, it worked, it worked well. But there was also the J way, because sometimes you gotta take a different tact, you know, it no matter what. And little people's pieces like that of things you pick up over the years, you know, it's like you don't learn everything you knew from reading one book. You've read 500 books or a thousand books or you've listened to 500 different people talk or speak or whatever. So it's an accumulated knowledge. And I I I I I've been very fortunate. You know, I I'm I've learned that I'm smarter than I thought I was. You know, I used to be kind of smart, but I wasn't the right smart, you know, and and it's just learned knowledge. I think it's earned and learned, or learned and earned, wisdom over the years. When you tie all these little different things together, that's what makes that's what brings us together. That's what makes that community work. That's what gives you the insight to say, hey, when you're physical therapy, don't just work with them, work for them, work for the future, work down the road. And uh and they they don't see that.

SPEAKER_00 37:15

I love that. And and kind of tying that back into that idea of it takes a village, whether that's to raise a child or just to navigate life in general, whether no matter your age. It's important to have a village and and their wisdom and the support that they can provide. Jay, thanks so much for being here. Are there are there great places where people can go to to learn more about you?

SPEAKER_02 37:37

Well, I I've got a if if they're on Facebook, they can find the name of the like I wrote a book and it's called The Strength Within You. It's always too soon to quit. And if I if I may, it's not it does cover some of my medical setbacks and all that. But more than that, what I'm trying to do throughout the the the book is what it took me to get through all of my a lot of my stuff and things that the setbacks and all that, but to find resilience, to find the courage, the grit, the strength, the perseverance, the persistence, to find all that to help other people make it through those adversities and roadblocks and detours that are always going to be in their lives. And a lot of people don't understand that you can find within yourself, you know, uh, whether it's frustration, irritation, aggravation, it doesn't matter. There's a lot within yourself that you can pull from that will motivate you, that will help you move forward and be perseverant to get through those adversities. And I think that the more adversities and more semi-failures or whatever you want to call them, that when you're younger, make you stronger. Understand it as you grow older. Don't be afraid of that. Don't be afraid of that. That's a big thing. But I've got a website that ironically I think God held out for me because I was sitting thinking, what do I, what a website, what can I name a website? Something to do with a book, something to do with me. And I typed in the words, never quit trying. And they came up. It was available. That's good. I was like, holy cow, all the websites that you would think somebody would take that's doing podcasting or a million other things. So neverquitting.com. That's a website. There's a Facebook page in there for The Strength Within You. It's about the book, and of course, LinkedIn and such on under my name. But um that that's really it. And the book's available at Amazon and and it's done very, very well. And I and I'm very proud, I would like to mention it's number one in people for attitude and motivation through physical disabilities, it's done very, very well. And also, it's been number one as an e-book for older teenagers and young adults up to the age of 35 for motivation and inspiration, which congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. And you know, it kind of the book relates to all that because it started when I was so young, and now I'm 76. And I've got a real nice email the other day from a lady that's 88 years old. And she said, I had my son-in-law gave me this book, and he heard about it from a friend. And I don't know how any of them, I don't know any of them, but she said, I've it's given me a different look at life. She's 88. I'm 76, so she's still got 12 years on me. It's like the lady you said that you came back and she's missing the legs. She looked at it differently.

SPEAKER_00 40:30

Awesome. Thank you for being here. And like I said, I'll put all those links in the show notes so people can find more information and get a link to the book and all the things.

SPEAKER_02 40:38

Well, Ann, thank you very much. I you've you've asked some good questions and some some very enlightening things that that that really should make people think. And don't ever quit trying. You know, and I and if I had one last comment, I would like to say I have it at the beginning of my book, and it's actually attributed to uh Ralph Waldo Emerson. I don't know that it was he that said it for sure, but it's what lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are small matters compared to what lies within us. And if we all think about that, draw off the past to work to the future, but it's all because right here.

SPEAKER_00 41:16

Yeah, I love that. It's so funny. So I got chills when you said that because that was my senior quote. Like when you're a senior in high school, you have like a quote or wh whatever that was my senior quote. So as soon as you start saying it, I was like, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:27

There we go. See? I knew that the whole time. No. But thank you, Ann.

SPEAKER_00 41:34

Yes, thank you. Today's conversation with Jay reminds us that resilience isn't built in comfort, it's forged in adversity. From paralysis to perseverance, Jay's story is a powerful witness that what lies within us is far greater than what stands before us. This episode's pebble is to choose one area where you've been tempted to quit and take one small step forward this week instead. And if you haven't yet, go back and listen to episode 23, How to Harness Your Tragedies to Empower Others, with Myrna Peterson. Myrna's experience is similar to Jay's and echoes the same truth. Our hardest moments can become someone else's hope. I've joked that Myrna's take on life is that if life gives you lemons, then you make a lemonade factory. Like Jay, she has done so much to help others, and her story is very inspiring. Be sure to check out the show notes for more information about Jay and ways for you to support Pebbles of Light through Patreon and Best Sprout. Thank you so much for being part of this community. Thank you for tuning in. My hope is that something helped you feel seen, encouraged, or inspired to bring light to someone else. If a name or moment stood out, don't let it pass. Reach out, express gratitude, or take that next step. You can connect with me anytime on socials at Pebbles of Light or at anMaxon.com. If this episode was meaningful for you, please follow the show, rate or review, and share it with someone who might need a lift today. And if you want to go a step farther, you can support the show on Patreon. See you next time.