Give yourself an uppercut

The culture of New Zealand Boxing has been toxic for years. Yes, there has been some success, but many athletes carry regret and have left the sport altogether due to selection, bullying, unprofessional behaviour, etc. We can focus on the current coach in the media, but the truth is, he is just one in a long line of poor coaches. When will something ever be done about it? I would suggest a few uppercuts be handed out, which is boxing-speak for 'fall on their sword.' I give first-hand experience around regretting the decision to throw in the towel at the peak of my sporting career, despite the media articles, talking to officials - nothing changed then, and it seems nothing has changed now.

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Kielda, welcome to episode two in the ring with Trevor Shaler. The title for this episode is Give Yourself an Upper Cut. But before I launch into the episode, I want to take the opportunity to thank everyone for their support for my first podcast, giving it a go. It was great to get lots of positive feedback and comments around the show. So I just want to extend my heartfelt thanks to everyone. This session, well, as you know, the episode one was ultimately about life moments and about you know the power of belief. I'm gonna take that session around power of belief and talk a little bit about regret and around the the uh I suppose the impact, the lifelong impacts of holding on to regret. So um give yourself an uppercut. I came up with uh after uh I've seen the national TV coverage of the issues facing New Zealand boxing uh and the impact it is it has had on a number of uh boxers who have withdrawn due to issues to do with uh the boxing coaching and the coaching setup uh for New Zealand boxing. Uh it was pretty upsetting really to to see um to see that on TV. But the truth is it's been uh known fact for some time, actually for a long, long time. And unfortunately, the national coach in question, uh Billy Mehan, um, unfortunately, he's just one of a long line of of coaches over the years who have really misunderstood their role as a national coach. Uh, and it's it is like a lot of other sports, you know, with um coaches and selectors, you see it play out in the all blacks. So, you know, boxing's no different in in that regard. Um, but as an individual uh sport and as an individual athlete where you know you're you're training as hard as you can. Boxing training is is hard. You you're putting your body on the line. You know, at any given time when you hop into the boxing ring, you're only ever seconds away from success or disaster, and so you can't hop into the ring with um any second thoughts or um you know concerns about who's in your corner and whether or not you've got the right coach, um, whether or not you're getting the right support, all of those things matter. And um the reality is uh if you're not able to have the assurance and the confidence that everyone has your back when you're hopping in the ring by yourself, you know, because when the bell goes, it's just you. Um, you know, it's it's vitally important that you know you're focused at the job in hand. Um otherwise you get hurt. And um that's not good. So uh I'm gonna tell you um a bit about my from my perspective, the issues that we've got and what might what might we do about it. Um so give yourself an uppercut really is for New Zealand boxing, you know, for allowing this to to go on for so long. But also, you know, the you know, Billy possibly well Billy should give himself an uppercut, you know. Um, you know, he he's run his race. And uh I I know Billy really well. I used to fight uh out of his gym uh many, many years ago, actually, so much so that uh Billy's father, Bill, was uh running the the gym. Um actually I won my first national title as a as a 12-year-old um out of out of the gym, uh out of the United Boxing Club, it was called back then. Um but the truth is mum and dad pulled me out of um fighting out of that club because drinking and driving. You know, we'd go to tournaments and you know the the the coach would get on the terps after the event, and um we would be getting home very late at night from uh tournaments in New Plymouth um and in different regions, and um you know mum and dad just said no that's just not not good enough. Um but my connection here around the the role of the coaches and being misunderstood is that you know the the national coach in my context has never been my coach, you know. So I've had great coaches uh in my time, and then they get me to the position where I qualify for uh an international event. I you get taken off your coach and given to a national coach, and it's his or her job to make sure they get the best out of you. The difficulty is if they don't know you, then how are they gonna get the best out of you? That's really the the the question. So when I qualified for the Barstone Olympics in in 1992, you know, first time I was 21, uh first time for me at a tournament of this nature, this is my my dream come true, right? Um, so uh I went to went to my workplace and said, look, I've qualified for the Olympics. I need to have six months off work, leave without pay, uh, because I need to train full-time. You know, if I'm gonna be fighting the best, then I need to be at my best. So uh, you know, I made the decision to leave work, you know, or take six months' leave uh so I can train full-time. I went and got um, you know, I was training in different gyms at that time, and I went back and got Peter and said, hey, you know, I've I've made this, I've achieved this goal, and I want you to be part of my team. My team wasn't very big, but um I wanted him to be part, a key part of my team uh as I prepared for for the Olympic Games. And um, yeah, it was awesome. I I struggled to get funding. Uh I had lots of um mum and dad raised and the Linton Camp Golf Club, and you know, they raised money for me to to be able to sustain, you know, um, you know, not working so I could train full-time. I didn't qualify somehow for funding from the sports foundation. Um however that got remedied because my mother rang uh the foundation and said, you know, if my son does not get some funding, you know, we will be talking to Paul Holmes. And, you know, that that was a pretty big threat back then. But also you didn't you wouldn't want to cross my mother, you know, like uh, you know, she was pretty, pretty determined to make sure that I got the support that I needed. Um, so I I got funding, uh, thankfully. So, but it was hard, hard work to get it because I was, you know, I I didn't qualify because I was working. Funny. Anyway, uh, trained, trained, did everything I needed to do, was on track. I get a call from the national coach, Dr. John Mackay. We're gonna have a training camp in Auckland prior to going to Barcelona, and then we'll be in a camp situation when we go to get over into the village. You know, bearing in mind uh this is a multi-sport global event, you know, over 10,000 athletes. You know, it's great to be one of the chosen from the the New Zealand team. Um, and you know, uh, I get up to the camp up in Auckland at uh John's gym. So he's just running it out of his own gym. David and Salilo, who were the other two members of the team. Obviously, you know David, uh David Tua and Salila Fagota. They were the my two other members, but uh John was their coach, you know. So straight away, you can see straight away, I I'm on the spare prick at a wedding, uh so to speak. Um, but it became clear uh when I was training that um, you know, David and Celelo were underprepared, uh, and I was way ahead. Um and so I was really happy. I was really happy. I was pretty pleased with how I was tracking. Um and lo and behold, we all got lumped in together and were all made to basically train together. And I couldn't figure it out. I was just like, this can't be, this is not right. I I I I don't need to be doing running hills and doing the what this type of work because I've I've already done it. I'm I'm I'm in I'm in a different phase for for where I need to be at the Olympics. And um, you know, the big lesson here for me um and talk about you know learning it at the biggest you know tournament in the world um was that I needed to stand up for myself. I needed to be able to articulate you know what I needed. Um, and I wasn't able to do that, you know. Um the coach certainly didn't, you know, want to know about what I thought about anything. As far as he was concerned, he was the coach, you're the athlete. You know, you do as you know, boxing's pretty old school like that. You you do as I I tell you to do, and um that's the way it rolls. Um, but anybody would tell you, you know, and and Peter particularly, you know, the type of um boxer I was, I was always a critical, critical boxer, critical fighter. I thought about everything, you know, I I wanted to break things down, I wanted to understand how they worked. I wasn't there just uh to throw punches and and knock people out. I was learning the art and the craft and the science of boxing. So, you know, the and again, it's an easy difference between David Tour and I, you know, David's you know, heavyweight, he's got a left hook to die for, um, which I saw a couple of times. Um and, you know, he he has raw power, and um, it's amazing. I don't have raw power. I'm 63 and a half kgs, like will to weight, and I'm a boxer. I'm not a puncher, I'm not a knockout specialist. I have to win my bouts by going the distance and outsmarting and outboxing um my opponent. And I'm pre well, I was pretty good at it. Um, but I was a natural counterboxer, so a natural counterboxer, I I wait for you know you to throw punches for me to then look at what I'm gonna counter with, and hence the counterboxer. Um and I probably got a bit of stick, you know, early on because it became so easy for me that I I end up playing with my competitors rather than what people people expected that I should have just finished them off. And um, that was never really my style. And um, you know, if you get a chance to jump jump on my social media, you'll see on uh Shayla Boxing YouTube channel, you know, there's a uh fight that I'm competing against, uh, an international fight, Stephen Kevy from Papua New Guinea. And you if you look at it, you you will know straight away I'm a boxer. Yep, I do like to punch, but I'm not a puncher. So the reason I'm telling you that is the I was doing all of David 2's shots. So I was doing one, two, big left hook, and that's not my game. And again, I the lesson learnt, the lesson here was that I shouldn't have uh expected somebody else to know more about me than me. And um I didn't have the courage of conviction to say to the coach, the national coach, not my coach, that this is not working for me. And so by and large, I was the the I think I was the best boxer in the world about a week before the Olympics. I had peaked in the gym and I had you know I was tired. And when I got in the ring and fought against the Hungarian, um, and again, it's it's on my YouTube channel. If you have a look at it, you can see I I I I'm missing, I don't have the speed, I I was tired, and I was physically, not only was I physically tired, I was mentally tired. So, you know, you know 10 years of training, you know, goal at 11, 10 years of training, get to the Olympics, and it's all over in nine minutes, nine minutes of competition. Uh, but if you count the minutes, you know, a couple of minutes in between, it's uh, you know, it's it it was about a minute for for every year that I trained, it was worth a minute. And I blew it on on the experience of you know the lack of uh planning and thinking and working with the coach versus just do as you're told. Um, so I was pretty determined that that wasn't going to happen again. Um after the fight, I I was really upset, um, rang home, spoke to my parents, you know. The good thing is um when when you're when you're in kind of low moments, humor is quite good. And uh one of my brothers uh got on the phone and said, fire out. You didn't need to go to the Olympics to get a hiding, you could have just stayed home and got that, which was true, except for I got the tracksuit, and I still have the tracksuit, it's in my wardrobe. And um, you know, once you're an Olympian, you're an Olympian for life, and um, you know, I'm I'm Olympian 668. I only competed for nine minutes and I I never got another shot. But I should have had another shot because this is where the whole thing comes in around regrets. Now, whilst I'm saying, you know, Billy should give himself an uppercut and maybe New Zealand boxing, you know, I should give myself an uppercut, if I'm honest, because when I came back, uh, you know, when I was um qualifying for the Commonwealth Games in '94, um, again, I I'd qualified. Again, same issue. John Mackay, we're gonna have a training camp. You know, there were four of us in the squad. There's myself, um, Sam Louis, Colin Hernia, and Color Ofiawi. You know, four of us. I was by far the senior one out of the group, and having been to the Olympics and flowing on through, and got to the training camp up in Auckland. Same thing. But guess what? I was strong enough to go. I've been through this, I've been through this experience. I know what I know that I know what the outcome looks like, so I'm gonna need to take um control. So I contacted uh New Zealand boxing and said, Look, I'm not gonna come to the camp. You know, I I've got my program, I I know what I'm doing, you know, um love your work. And um I'll see you on the plane. New Zealand boxing said to me, look, you know, it's compulsory. You you you must come to the camp. And I said, Look, I've got my own coach, uh I've got my own plan, I've already qualified. And they were like, No, you know, it you have to be at the camp. So I rang the athletes commission and said, Hey, look, I've got this issue. I don't want to go to the camp. Um, I've had a bad experience previously, same people, same gig, you know, I'm gonna end up with the same outcome. So uh Dr. David Girard rang me and said, Look, Trevor, I hear you've got some uh challenges. Look, he said, Don't worry about it, we'll we'll take care of it. We want you to just focus on you being an athlete and and being prepared. So that was great. Um, but what I did, you know, when New Zealand boxing rang me and said, You you've got to come to the camp. I said, Look, uh I I've spoken to Dr. David Girard, and he said, I don't need to come to the camp. He said, I'm selected by the NZOC, I'm approved in um by the NZOC, so it's only the NZOC that can kick me out. I probably shouldn't have thrown that in because that was a bit of a dig if I'm if I'm honest. Um, and that was it. David Girard rang me back a couple of weeks later and said, Trevor, I've unfortunately I think I might have given you the wrong, wrong advice. You will need to go to the training camp. Boxing New Zealand have kicked up a fuss seeking some legal advice uh around forcing you to be at the camp. I was, you know, I was pretty upset. I was spewing to be to be honest. So I said, look, okay, I'll go, I'll go under duress, but I'm I've got my own program, I've got my own plan, I'll do my best to fit in, etc. So we get up to the camp, uh, and I was just ostracized. And um, you know, they'd say, right, guys, you're doing this in the morning, and I'd say, Well, hang on a minute. Trevor's program says, you know, he's gonna do a light jog and do that, you know. So it it it it it could have been much better with how we integrate it if they had been prepared to want to turn on their tardingers and listen uh and at least understand. Because at the end of the day, I'm the one that's accountable. They they need us to do well so they look good, but we need to do well so we stay safe, and that we, you know, also do well. So anyway, cut a long story short, camp didn't go great, you know. We it was a lot of animosity. Um, I got through it, um, but I won. I won a bronze, uh, which looks like a faded out gold these days. Standard joke, sorry, uh dad joke. Um, but I won bronze, and I wouldn't say all was forgiven, but because I I won a medal, you know, there wasn't as much um issues. There were a few issues I brought up in the paper around how it how it all went. So, you know, I'm get I'm getting to the point, right? You know, I could have got a gold, but you know, I got a bronze. I I was then on the right trajectory. This I use that in podcast, you know, episode one, that word. Uh, but I should have been in in the prime to go to uh Atlanta in '96, you know, games experience, had Olymp uh Barcelona, you know, I bronze com games '94. I'd done really well. I'd only I'd not lost, I only had one loss that year. I was ranked in the top top 10 in the world for my weight class. Um, so you know, I I was, you know, I was on track. At 25, 26, 27, physically, you're I'm you're more mature. And so I so this is where the regret comes in. So I go to the nationals in 1995, um, I clean up, I have three fights, win the three fights. You know, I'd gone up to well to weight because I put on a bit of weight and had a bit of a a good time after the com games. And then I um yeah, so then I won. I won the well-to-weight division. Um, also won the Jemison Belt, which is the most scientific fighter of the tournament, which is you know, huge. There's I've won it four times. There's only two of us in the history of New Zealand boxing to win it four times. Um, and I won it, and I went up to get the award. Uh national coach said to me, Trevor, you if you think you're gonna make another games while I'm in charge, you've got another thing coming. And that was like uh well, what's the term, you know, um a red rag to a ball. And um, and I I was anyway, I I told him where to where to put it, and um, so that's my regret. My regret was, you know, I I I I had discovered my voice, um, but I hadn't figured out how to to influence to be able to get the scenario that I needed, which was the wraparound support. Instead, you know, I had this antagonistic approach with the national coach who wasn't my coach, uh, and he controlled the realm. But the, you know, and so that's my biggest regret. And I hope uh the boxes that are in the media at the moment and and uh calling out the situation that's going on, um, and you know, I hope they hang in tight and I hope that they don't do what I did and uh throw it all away. And um, because that is a regret. Um, you know, I regret um, you know, I I I was just angry. I was angry because I'm the one doing the work in the ring. I I deserve and I expect to have the support to be able to do what I need to do when I'm in there. He's not the one getting hit. Um so anyway, but I I I have to live, you know, I I have to live with that decision. Um I would have been great if it was a different way. Um so the moral of this story, I think, is you know, as you get older, you you look back on your life and you think about those missed opportunities, you know, you try not to have regrets. But like I say, the older you get, you more reflect and you think, hmm, I I could have taken a different path. Um, but anyway, uh I I can't change the past. All I can do is hopefully encourage those that are standing up to ensure that they get the support that they need to get to where they need to get to. Otherwise, um we're just killing dreams. And um, you know, that's a real concern. I haven't even touched on um the issues to do with you know the drinking and the alcohol, and I I've got uh a range of examples where I was uh in the New Zealand Olympic and Commonwealth Games team in an administration role where I saw firsthand um you know the drinking and the alcohol play uh a role in how you know New Zealand boxing was perceived within the broader team environment, and it was just just not up to the standard that's expected. So um yeah, so I I I do I do hope hope the best for them. Um I also want to finish off this because I'm conscious of my time, I want to try and keep these sharp and punchy, you know. I you know, want to just say that um, you know, it's really I suppose I I don't know, I I'm probably you know, feeling like I'm a bit lost for words, even though I've said a lot of words already. It's that notion around um self-belief again. And um the thing with self-belief is that the only way you lose it is if you give it up. Nobody can take it from you. And uh I think that's an important message to think about. No you own your own power, and that power is about how you know your own belief in yourself, and um I think that's an important thing to think about wherever you're standing uh in in this world. So um thanks everyone. Uh hope you enjoy this uh episode, and um if you don't, give yourself an uppercut. Uh that's in the ring with uh Travis Ayler, Kilder.