Okay, welcome. Hi friends. Welcome back. Let's see, what shall we talk about today? I like to jump into these. Would you say it, what's that phrase? Just balls to the wall. I don't know. That's the phrase that comes up. Raw dogging. That's what I was thinking of. Just raw, do it, jump right into it. Um, see what comes up. So. Because part of this podcast, part of why I wanted to put this stuff out there is because this is, I want this to be so real because this is how the work works. This is how this stuff works, is that you have a thought, you're working through something, you have something going on in your life, and to tackle it head on, to just go right into it without overthinking it, bringing awareness right to it. Analyzing it, using it as your growing point. Using it as your growing piece, using it as your catalyst for change. Right? That's how it is. The work is daily. The work is almost like every second, and not that you're having to. Do work every second or think about stuff every second, or overthink things every second. It's just this, when you're doing this and when you're doing it for yourself, on yourself, with yourself, co-creating your life, that's how it works. It works in the moment. It works in. The instant it works in the process. You're working through things as they're coming up and it just starts to become a natural thing. You start to have these thoughts or things or things that you're working through, and then you are thinking about them without thinking about them, and then you automatically work through things. That was a roundabout way of explaining it. But it's almost like getting to the point where, so when you're in this space, when you're in the personal development space, when you're in the spiritual space, it's once you get in, once you step in, you can't go back like that saying ignorance is bliss. So before you knew this work, before you knew you could better yourself, before you knew you could heal, you are blindly just living your life, right? You are blindly just going about your day, which can be great, right? If you don't know any of this stuff, great. You're just living your life, right? You're just living your life as it is, and sometimes. You know, after getting into this work, it's almost like you wish you could go back to that point of not knowing, you know, not almost not knowing how good things could be, not knowing how great things could be. So it's that aspect of ignorance is bliss. But, and once you know this, once you're doing this work, once you're doing this on the regular basis, once you're doing it on your own for yourself, it gets to become so natural and naturally happen. That you almost go back to that point of you're just living and this is how you're living because something comes up. You know how to work through it. You work through it, you heal it, you rewire your brain, and then you move on and you grow through and things are better, and then it just continues to happen more easily each time. You're upleveling yourself each time you are. Quantum leaping or ascending each time, right? You're working through something becoming better and better and better, and it just gets to be part of your daily life. It doesn't have to be this big thing, right? And I talk about this all the time. It doesn't have to be this big thing of you sitting down for an hour every single morning and journaling and hard, it doesn't have to be hard working through things or thinking back to your childhood and getting to. Like specific things that happen. Yes, it can be that, and yes, there are times for that, but it doesn't have to be hard, it gets to be just this natural thing that's happening and that you're doing on the daily basis. So with that being said, that is how I like to go into these, is just having a thought, which usually for me comes up at like three o'clock in the morning or right before I'm about to go to bed. Which technically I should be jumping up and recording at that point. However, that doesn't always happen. So working through things with you as we're working through them together. Right. Okay. So something that just came up and something that I've been thinking lately is the stress of things and the control and the pressure. That we put on ourselves, we put so much pressure on ourselves to to do this, to do this work, or to do better, to do more, to be better. Right. There's so much pressure and force, right? It seems like we're constantly forcing ourselves to get more to, to make more money, to be better, to, you know, we're not where we should be. We are, comparing ourselves to other people. And all those things, there's all these things that we're forcing in our life, instead of allowing that to happen, right? Are you forcing relationships? Are you forcing your day to, to work out the way you want it to? Are you having control over your. Daily life, right? So much control over what you're eating. So much control over what you're doing, the control over. You know, almost even like how people are going to react to you because that's with the people pleasing, right? You're having control over how someone's going to react. You're saying certain things you don't even realize you're saying or doing certain things because you want a specific result, and you think that you have control over that, right? You think that you have control over that and. Technically you don't, right? You don't actually have control over the things that are going to happen. You do on a wide scale. You do as far as allowing your life to co-create, right? Co-creating your life and changing your mindset, attracting certain things to you. But that's not the same of forcing, and that's not the same of controlling. So that idea of forcing something, that idea of controlling something, and this usually comes up after the holidays because that is the perfect time where we seem to have all this control or we feel like we have to have all of this control over things, over the outcome of things. So forcing something instead of allowing something to happen. So how do we get out of that space of forcing, right? Because things tend to not work out when we force them, right? You're giving off with force and control. You're giving off this desperate, needy energy. No one likes that, right? No one's attracted to that. And the perfect example that I like to use in this situation is the needy, significant other, right? The needy girlfriend. Like being a needy girlfriend is usually a turnoff to most men. You're extremely needy that. Repels people because you feel, they feel from you that you have, are trying to have control over them. So whether that's in that people pleasing way, whether that's in that. I'm going to change myself for this other person and be what I think they want me to be. Whether that's, you know, putting a timeline on things. I have to get married by a certain point. I have to have kids by a certain point. It's that needy, desperate energy of I have to have this, or I made it in life just because I have a significant other, or got engaged or got married, or whatever the case. It's giving off that needy energy, and that is usually repelling. That's repelling the people that we wouldn't want to be attracted to that. The only people that are going to be attracted to that are people who will take advantage of you, right? Or people who are looking to take advantage, or there are also people who are extremely needy. As well. Like they need that to fulfill them or they need the validation to fulfill them. So if someone. Is extremely needy. A person who's extremely needy in this desperate state of having to have something, having to have a relationship, then the other person is going to come in and be using them for validation or be using them, okay, this person does exactly what I want. I'm getting validation from them. Or this other person is also extremely needy as well. In a different way or in a different sense. Right. So it can seem like a complete relationship, but one person's coming from that needy place and changing who they are trying to take control by controlling the things they're doing, controlling the things they're saying, seemingly controlling the other person, and then the other person is using that, using them to their advantage, either taking advantage of them in the sense of walking all over them. Or whatever the case is. So that's not the place that you want to be because how often does that happen where someone is giving off that needy vibe? Has to have a boyfriend, goes through boyfriends, right? Because the, they get repelled and turned off and then they go, they're still in that needy place, and then they're attracting the same type of person. Right, and this can happen in all different ways, in all different areas. So how do you get out of that needy, desperate place, that place of forcing, and this can be with anything, right? It's just the relationship is a great example of that because I think we've all felt that energy. We've also been that energy. Of that neediness and having to, make this happen. I have to make this relationship work. I have to get married by a certain time or feeling late with things, feeling desperate with things, right? We've all been in that energy and then we've all experienced that energy probably from the other side of someone being too to, you know, up our ass in our relationship or too controlling in a relationship or acting as though they can control and do everything and tell you what to do. So it's just a great example of this situation, this thing that we're studying today, of the forcing and how do we get out of that state? How do we notice that we're in that state? Because this can trickle into other things. And it can be in every, everything, a job. It can be money, it can be, a house kids. Perfect example, and I'll do probably a whole entire podcast on our fertility journey because that starts to, our situation with that started to come from an extremely needy place because we started out having a miscarriage as our first pregnancy, and then it felt like loss and the need for having to have. Having to have that, having to have a child, having to have a child to complete me, right? It turned into that needy place. And then in doing that, it starts to become so stressful, so needy, that you're actually repelling it. And if someone would've told me that at that time, I probably would've punched them in the face. 'cause that it's all, it's not all mental, but a lot of it is that mental state of that needing, that forcing, that having to control. So we can do this in all different areas of our lives, and how do we notice we're doing it and how do we get out of that place and that space that we're in. Okay, so how do we get out of this neediness? How do we get out of this desperate behavior, right? So we want to shift our way out of that so we're not giving off those vibes, attracting the wrong thing. So how do we shift our way out of that? Well, I would say first and foremost, knowing that you have no control anyway. Right? So coming back to the place of you have no control anyway. You only have control over your mind and your mindset and how you react to things you don't technically, right? Besides attracting things or manifesting or having these. Certain things coming into your creator field because they're meant to, because of that way, but technically you don't have any control over what is actually going to happen or the outcome of something. So if you're bringing that into the picture of knowing like, okay, I have no control anyway, so why am I trying to control this? Because I have no control anyway. So going back to that. When you come from this place of I need this, I need that. Being in this desperate energy or trying to get someone to like you or trying to control the outcome of something, just come back to the place of I have no control anyway. Right. Whether, whatever that looks like for you, if it's, you know, let go and let God, or just let it go, or I don't have control anyway, or whatever it is that works for you. Just coming to that point of knowing. You have no control. So it's almost like it takes the pressure off immediately. 'cause you're like, wait, I can't control if this person likes me or not. I can't, so why do I care? I can't control, you know, what happens tomorrow? So why am I stressing about it? And worrying about it and stressing about it is bringing, almost bringing the bad things to you. Right? I remember, this phrase of. Saying that worrying about things or worrying if something's going to happen is like praying for that bad thing to happen, right? Because you're constantly worrying, you're constantly envisioning it. You are almost bringing it to you, right? So knowing you have no control anyway, and knowing that you don't want to be envisioning and picturing and bringing these negative things to you. So that's one easy, like quick way to do it, right? So when you have that desperate neediness, know that you have no control anyway, and it just lightens it up right away. Like it lets you take the pressure off of yourself. Hey, I have no control anyway. So you step back, right? And you let things happen and you get more in that immediate flow. You can feel it in your body immediately. When you say that and you embody it, so that's what we want. Right? So another thing too would be confidence. Having self. Confidence if you are a completely confident person, you do not need anything outside of yourself to make you, to make or break you, to make you happy, to make you fulfilled. If you're a completely confident person, you do not need anything outside of yourself and things outside of yourself won't make you happy. Anyway, right? When you get the relationship, when you get the money, when you get the house, when you get the job, whatever it is that might make you happy for its time being, but the long term sustainable happiness is going to come from self-image and self-confidence. So having that and building that confidence, self-confidence, self-image, how you see yourself, how you feel about yourself, right? How you treat yourself. Having that sense of extremely high self-worth is another thing that is going to take you right out of that desperate, needy behavior. And then another one I would say, which I like, is just the dreaming aspect. So get back to dreaming. So instead of this pressure that we put on ourselves of having to have certain things, having to have our life look a certain way, comparing ourselves to other people, comparing ourselves to people on social media, right? As adults, it's like there's this, all this pressure. That we have and that we put on ourselves, that society puts on us, seemingly, right? We're putting it on ourselves, or we think that other people are putting it on us. So instead of having that go back to that dreaming aspect, that aspect of dreaming that little kids do, right? The imagination, the dreaming. Like just get into the space of. Sitting down and picturing what you want, picture what you want to have happen, not what you don't want to have happen, right? Dream a little bit. Get into that desire, right? That desire to have something. That desire to create something. Not that I need this, right? Not that I need that thing. It's just that desire and that dream to have that right, create that. It as a dreamlike state. Start picturing what you want to have happen. Start picturing and imagining what you want. It's almost like taking the childlike dream into your adulthood, right? We're supposed to be dreaming and imagining things, and then again, we get crushed by society. So going back to that dreamlike state and that dream. Essence when it comes to creating what you want, right? 'cause that will also get you out of that needy state. And then I would say another one would be definitely gratitude. Okay, so gratitude. Bringing gratitude to what you currently have, bringing gratitude to your current life, your current situation, whatever it is, and even the little things. Bringing gratitude to all the little things because that will get you in that vibration too, of. Just a higher vibration, right? Gratitude brings a high vibe, and it'll get you out of that neediness, neediness because you know, you already have amazing things, you know, you already have everything you need. So pulling all those things together, even having the gratitude of finding what you want. So pulling all these together. Would be finding something that you already had that's similar or that you have now that's similar to what you wanted. So say using a relationship as an example. Say you're looking for your significant other Well. Circle back to that since we use that as a needy, significant other in the beginning as an example. So if that's what you want, bring in gratitude for, you know, maybe you had kind of crappy relationships in the past, or a previous bad relationship, but there was really good parts of it. So bringing gratitude to that, focusing on that, because you know, you had that. You know what that feels like and even better what you want to create. So the dreaming aspect. Then bring in that dreaming aspect of that dream up what you want, and having the gratitude that you know that it's already there because you already had it, whether you had it or not. Bringing the gratitude in that you have it now or that you will have it correct. And then having the confidence that you don't actually need the thing, it's not going to make or break you. The relationship is not going to make or break you, and it's not going to make you happy. Having the confidence, knowing you have everything you need, you are able to make yourself happy because you have that within you already. Okay, so I think that gets to the point of everything. So let's not be needy bitches and get into a dreamy, desirable high vibration. That sounds so much better already. All right, hope you guys enjoyed this and we'll chat soon. Bye.