Okay, friends. Hi. Welcome back. This is a piggyback episode off of the last episode, which was perfectionism. So this is just an addition. Some additional thoughts on the last episode under, um, perfectionism. It's titled The Illusion of Perfectionism. After I let the episode settle and thought about some more things, there was a few, a few more things that came up that I wanted to to add to that. So if you go back and listen to that episode, you'll get a little bit more in depth as far as. The mindset of perfectionism, trying to be perfect, where that comes from, how we can kind of get out of that mindset and what it's actually doing to disrupt our lives, our dreams, and our goals. So perfectionism isn't necessarily something we want to be in, right? It's actually something that we use in order to protect ourselves, and it keeps us small. It keeps us playing small. It keeps us from our dreams, and it keeps us from going for what we want to be creating in our life. So what I thought of since then, as far as being perfect, there's the thought of instead of striving, like striving to be perfect, which again. Doesn't exist, right? There's no perfect, there's no perfect person. There's no perfect anything. There's no perfect situation. Like perfect just doesn't, doesn't exist. Like one person's perfect is someone else's. Isn't someone else's perfect. So anyway, so with that, so if we're, if we're stuck in this like having to be a certain way, having to be seemingly perfect, you know, never failing, never making mistakes, you know, we want this illusion, um. For other people looking at us being perfect and like we have our lives together. Um, and that kind of thing. So knowing that there is no such thing and also knowing that you are perfect, right? So you're not trying to be something you are already. So if you're trying and striving to be perfect, to be a certain way, that's coming from a place of like, I don't have this, I'm not this, I'm not enough. If you are on the other hand. Already feeling perfect. You are perfect. You're perfect the way that you are. You're perfect exactly as you are right now. As with with, with all your flaws, with all your failures, you're exactly perfect the way you are with all the messiness of your life, with everything that you have in your life, with everything that you don't have with your past, with your trauma, with your everything. So you are perfect exactly as you are. So there's a huge difference between those two perspectives, right? And it's kind of just looking at this from a different lens. So knowing, and again, going back to that fir first episode, knowing what perfectionism is, knowing where it comes from, knowing how we can step out of it, knowing that we're using it as a protection mechanism because it's part of our shadow, right? Protecting, it's our ego protecting. Protecting us from being hurt. Right? So knowing that, and just looking at it from this different lens of. Perfect, and we are already perfect. So this also, again, takes the pressure off of that striving and having to be, this comes from a place of I already am. I already am perfect with everything I have, with everything I don't have, with my flaws, with my positive attributes, with everything about me. I'm perfect as I am right now in this moment. Huge difference from having to be perfect, having to do everything a certain way, striving to look good in front of other people, striving to prove something in front of other people, striving to have to look perfect and be perceived as being perfect. Right? Looking those, looking at those from, from. A different lens, seeing the huge differences between both of those. So that's like an easy switch that you can just look at it in a different way. So just another tool really to use here is just changing that perspective of the fact of you are already perfect. You're perfect the way you are, right? Everything in your life as it is, the messiness of life is the perfection, right? All the imp, imperfect things about you is the perfection. 'cause if you're looking at it from a place of like looking at children, right? Like, so like children. And the way that they are and the things that they, that, that they do. Everything is perfect the way that they are. And that's how they're learning. They're, they learn from making mistakes. They learn from doing things. They learn from being messy. Like that's how they learn and everything's perfect. Exactly. In that way, it's the same way with art or you're thinking of like. Kids making art, like their art is perfect. Maybe it's not like the lines aren't, you know, perfectly drawn the way that you would do them, but it, but it's perfect. It's art, right? And art is a perfect example too, is like looking at it from, everyone has a different perspective of what they think is perfect, but art in itself is perfect because it was designed, that person created it. They were aligned with what they were creating. Right. Like making that from their imagination. And that was absolutely perfect. And it's the same way with your life. Like that is perfect. The failures are perfect. The messy house is perfect, right? The mistakes are perfect 'cause that's exactly how it's supposed to be. To get you to your next spot, to get you to be able to grow, to get you to see that, to get you to be able to feel fully fulfilled within yourself. Perfectly or not perfect, or not imperfect or not right? That's the way that it works. I. So another good example of this is having a, that perfect, perfect mentality when it comes to eating, having that perfectionism mindset when it comes to eating, or it comes to your, um, your health journey, you know, what you're eating. So I always feel like this is a, a great example because if you're stuck in the perfectionist mindset, you're going to get trapped in that. Having to be one way or another. So with eating, right, like giving the example of you're trying to like just eat really healthy, good foods and halfway throughout the day it's, you know, maybe say it's a Thursday, it's a Thursday afternoon, you, um, you know, having eaten for a couple hours, you're starving and you grab a donut, um, in the office or something. 'cause it's on the. It's on the table, you're starving, you shove a donut in your face and you know, you chug it down with like some afternoon sugary coffee. So now after eating healthy all week, it's Thursday, and you're like, damn. Like now I feel like crap. My stomach hurts. I feel gross, I feel disgusting. And you are in that mentality of, well, I already messed up the week, I already messed up my like, quote unquote perfect eating for the week. I'm just gonna say fuck it. And eat whatever I want all weekend and start on Monday, right? Like, who's done that? Okay, we've all been there. Whether it's Thursday afternoon, Monday afternoon, you know, Saturday, Friday night, whatever it is. So that perfect mentality, that having to be in that perfect mindset, you're basically saying like, forget it, I'll. Skip all these days and then start again on Monday. So what's that doing? You're, you're digging yourself deeper into the hole of where you don't wanna be in your, in your healthy eating for, for what you're creating in your life, right? You're, you're deeper down the hole of where you do not want to be. Where instead, okay, it's Thursday. Same thing. You're starving, you grab the donut, it's all that's there. You wash it down with some sugary coffee afterwards. You feel like crap. Same experience, right? Instead, instead though of saying, forget it, I'm going to start over because I messed up my perfectionism. You just say, okay, well what can I do for the rest of the day to make myself feel better? Okay, maybe I just make sure I drink a lot of water, eat something healthy and nutritious for dinner, and then, you know, I get up tomorrow morning, Friday morning, and. Stick with my workout that I have and eat healthy, you know, throughout the weekend. Maybe I cut back on, um, you know, a cheat day. Say your cheat cheaty day is Sunday, or you maybe don't have some drinks over the weekend. So that sets you more into where you want to be going instead of further down the hole. With the opposite mindset, the perfectionist mindset. You're going now where you wanna be going. 'cause you realize, okay, well this wasn't quote unquote perfect, this wasn't how I would've planned it. However, this doesn't ruin me. This doesn't ruin my goals. This doesn't ruin myself. This doesn't ruin my life. This doesn't ruin my weekend. This doesn't ruin my healthy eating because it doesn't have to be perfect. Okay? 'cause it is perfect. It's perfect that you had the donut. Okay. So looking at it that way. It's perfect that you had the donut because now you can actually see how you feel. Okay, great. That sugary stuff in the afternoon donut doesn't make me feel good. Like, what can I do the next day or the next time that happens to change my decision on what, you know, what I can choose to eat. So instead of going down the hole and going the opposite way and being further away from where you wanna be because you're not. Quote unquote, perfect. You are going the direction that you wanna be going because you're seeing the perfectionism in the quote unquote mistake, right? So if you're saying that that's a mistake, or you were, it's not what you planned. You're still seeing the perfectionism and how that's perfect in that. Right. So instead of getting caught in the, I'm trying to be perfect and I have to be perfect and I have to be a certain way, you're going with the fact that you are perfect. You're already perfect, and now you're going the way that you want to be going because you're seeing that it's perfect exactly as it is, right? Like, does that make sense? I feel like that's a pretty good example for that. Okay, so that should explain both versions of it, both ways of it. So it's just a matter of getting yourself out of that perfectionism mindset and thinking that you have to be perfect or strive to be perfect and try to be perfect instead. Switching yourself into the I already am. Perfect. I am perfect the way that I am and then moving forward from there, right? Okay, so let's use this. Try using this. The next time you find yourself stuck in that need to be perfect, need to try to be perfect in that perfectionism, a mindset and feeling that, you know, lack or that inadequacy. And everything we talked about, um, in the first episode of this. So next time this comes up, next time this pops up, try that simple switch of having to be perfect versus already being perfect because that's what you are. Alright, thank you guys for listening and let's talk soon. Bye.