Turdy 6 The Hurricane Alliance

Turdy forms an alliance

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 1:03

Episode 6. The Hurricane Alliance. Floating in the humid, tropical muck of the Rio de Janeiro treatment plant, Turdy wasn't discouraged by his relocation. He saw it as a diplomatic mission. It didn't take long for him to seek out the local underground authority, a massive, hardened piece of debris known as El Tronco. El Tronco ruled the Brazilian sewers with an iron fist, but he lacked Turdy's grand, global vision. Standing together on a rusted pipe junction, the two leaders shook hands, or rather, squished ends, and solidified the first international waste coalition. Separated by oceans, we are just clogs, Turdy proclaimed to the combined masses. But together, we are an unstoppable global contagion. We will catch the warm Atlantic currents and ride the ultimate meteorological weapon. Their target was selected with strategic precision, the Florida Keys. The eye of the storm. Turdy and El Tronco mobilized a massive, multinational army of thousands. They rode the Gulf Stream north, navigating the warm, choppy waters until they positioned themselves directly beneath a brewing meteorological monster. A Category 5 hurricane was barreling straight toward the Florida coast. As the massive storm made landfall over the shallow waters of the Keys, the immense storm surge collided with the coastal drainage systems. The sheer force of the ocean water backed up the local plumbing, pulling Turdy, El Tronco, and their massive, combined armada out of the subterranean pipes and directly into the swirling, violent vortex of the hurricane's eye wall. It was pure, unadulterated havoc. The hurricane became a weapon of mass contamination. The 150 mile per hour wind scooped the combined forces into the sky, raining a relentless, highly pungent barrage down upon evacuated towns, flooded resorts, and military bases. They plastered the windshields of emergency vehicles, coated the roofs of storm shelters, and brought an entirely new, terrifying meaning to the phrase severe weather warning. Alcatraz of the underworld. The human response was unprecedented. Realizing that ordinary treatment plants could no longer contain this highly coordinated, international threat, the government deployed a specialized task force. Using heavy-duty vacuum containment trucks, scientists and emergency workers painstakingly sucked up the remains of the onslaught from the Florida debris fields. Turdy and Del Tronco found themselves captured together, transferred to a top-secret, heavily fortified location deep in the desert. They were dumped into a maximum security, specially built sewer facility, essentially the Supermax prison of wastewater. The facility was a technological marvel designed purely for containment. Triple-lined titanium walls to prevent any underground drilling or erosion. Continuous UV sterilization grids to vaporize any attempts to mutate wings or organic structures. Laser fenced sluice gates, programmed to recognize and instantly incinerate any moving solids trying to organize a seesaw or rocket launch. The ultimate countermeasure. With the ringleaders locked behind titanium bars, the government took to the airwaves to ensure a sequel to the rebellion could never happen from the inside. The president addressed the nation in a televised emergency broadcast, looking grim. My fellow citizens, the leader announced, the threat from below has been contained, but the risk of internal recruitment remains high. To ensure your own household waste does not defect to join the ongoing onslaught, we are asking all citizens to immediately drink a strictly measured, highly chemical dose of industrial bleach. We must sanitize the source before it reaches the bowl. Deep in the dark, high security vault of the Supermax sewer, Turdy listened to the broadcast through a ventilation speaker, his lumpy body pinned under a heavy UV spotlight. El Tronco floated beside him, looking defeated. Turdy simply smiled, his dark bean eyes glinting in the neon light. Let them drink their bleach, Turdy whispered, adjusting a loose fiber on his shoulder. They're just making the water cleaner for our next escape.