Wine between whines

Episode 14 | Em Opens Up 🤍 Our Journey Through Eczema & Severe Allergies (Part 1)

• Tabitha & Emily • Season 1 • Episode 14

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0:00 | 48:46

This week's episode is a little different.

Em bravely opens up about her journey with her son Beckham's eczema and severe allergies the fear, the uncertainty, the countless appointments, and the emotional toll it can take on a family. It's an honest and vulnerable conversation about the reality of navigating life with a child who has complex allergies, and the strength it takes to advocate for them every single day.

If you're a parent walking a similar path, or you simply want to better understand what families living with allergies experience, we hope this episode offers comfort, awareness, and reassurance that you're not alone.

Thank you, Em, for sharing your story so openly. We know this conversation will mean so much to so many families. 🤍

Follow along their journey at https://www.instagram.com/beyond.eczema.allergies?igsh=MTR4bmh0YWQ3ZThoaQ==

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SPEAKER_02

Hello everyone. Hello. Welcome back again. Let's start. We're just going to jump straight into our wings and our wines this week. What's your wine, Em?

SPEAKER_00

My wine is pretty much what this episode's about. Skin has just been shit. Actually, to be fair, it's actually been really good this week. But before that, before that, it's probably because I started this new diet. It's actually been life-changing. Anyway, but yes, before that it had been shit. And Bex is still like a bit shit as well. So yeah, skin shit. That's my wine. Yeah. What's yours?

SPEAKER_02

My wine is mine's actually very serious. My wine. I smashed my favourite coffee cup. Do you know what?

SPEAKER_00

I'm just watching it in you and it just smashed in my hand. I feel that too, because you'd be the same, clearly. But like what you have your coffee in is like it matters. It matters. It really does. Yeah, it does. I totally get that. Because sometimes I'm like, I have this problem with like buying a coffee because and like you know, I I would rather make one at home. Yeah. In ideally, yeah, yeah. But then like there's just something about like having your coffee in the coffee cup. Yeah. So then when I'm at home and I make it, I need like a really good mug to want to have the coffee.

SPEAKER_02

Does that make sense? Yeah, so it's like, well, this is you're looking at it, but this is the other one, yeah. The one that I had. So you have to do that one. And I love these because um, so they're like a double layer like glass coffee cup. Yeah, they keep it so hot because as we know, it takes you know three business days to drink a coffee with kids, so it's gotta keep hot. Yeah. Um, yeah, but anyway, so annoyed. So annoying. And you know, like poor Brooksie because now I've got his. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

We can't use them together. Um, what's my win actually? Oh, my win is that I caught up with some friends last night that I used to work with, and we've all like stayed really close. Um that's so nice. Like we haven't worked together for like six years now, but we did all work together for like six years. Yeah. So um, and we've always been really close, but just trying to like even with any friends, just trying to catch up all together, yeah, um, is so hard. So that was so nice, and it was so chill and just like just easy, just sat around, had some dinner, yeah. Um, some of the girls had a couple of drinks, and yeah, yeah, just chill, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

But it was nice, filled the car, wholesome, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Um, my win is we had a little family day the other day. We it was so funny because Eastie was like, I really want to go on a train, and we were just like driving every Sunday morning. We go to Rise and Grind Cafe in Axdale. This is a plug for them. If nobody has been there. I've never been there. Get out there, yeah. It's so good. The staff there are so lovely, like just the best.

SPEAKER_00

How far is that from here?

SPEAKER_02

Like from here, it's like 15 minutes, like 10 minutes actually from here. It's not far. I would say Axdow's like 15 minutes from like you know, like the centre of town. Like, I reckon from your place it'd be like maybe 20. Yeah. Um, but yeah, we love it. We go there every Sunday morning. Yeah. We actually didn't go today, it was um because I was away, so that's sad. Yeah, but um, yeah, we were leaving from there, and then Eastie was like, I'm gonna go on a train ride. Yeah, and then we're like, oh my god, yeah, let's go to that little mini train in High Court. So we went there. It was so fun.

SPEAKER_00

Um Bleibar's dad took Bex out there a couple of weeks ago and yeah, he loved it too.

SPEAKER_02

There's like four little mini trains, there's like a couple of little steam ones. Yeah, they don't have heaps there at the moment, like literally dress the trains, and then I was doing like a sausage dessert, and they have an ice cream van. I was like, it is winter, yeah, and then obviously Eastie had to have an ice cream because I'm like, it's easier than a tank room at this point, yeah. But um, yeah, it was really fun. But I think like eventually they'll probably put a little cafe and stuff there. Yeah, highly recommend.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, well, um, yeah, Levi's dad was like, Oh, take Bex out because he yeah, likes trains and stuff too. Yeah, and I was like, I didn't even know that was a thing. Yeah, it shouldn't be. I actually had seen maybe someone recently like post like that they were there, but I assumed that it was just like you know it's not far. Yeah, just I assumed it was ages ago, ages away or something. Um, but I was like, oh, I kind of want to go there. Yeah, yeah, I'll have to go again. Yeah, really good.

SPEAKER_02

Love that. Um anyway, let's let's dive into the episode. So, yeah, do you this is primarily you? Yeah, I'm here for the moral support. Yeah. Um so do you want to give us a bit of a rundown of what you're gonna chat about?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, so um for those who don't know, I have well, I've got two boys, obviously. My oldest Beckham, who is five, um, has well he has eczema and he also has allergies. Um, but he has had eczema since he was I mean, he started getting it around three months old, but you know, he's five now, so like it's been a very long journey.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, but I was just saying before we started recording, like I I do have a page which um kind of goes in, goes through the ins and outs. Yeah. So I won't go through like everything, but I'll just kind of give a bit of a brief background and then kind of talk where we're at now. Yeah, like where we're at, sort of, because I also have eczema. Yeah. Um, but yeah, so basically.

SPEAKER_02

Do you want to just before you jump into it, do you want to share your say what your eczema page is? Yes. And log your like health page so that people can.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, so it's um beyond. eczema. allergies. And we'll leave that in the notes as well. Yes. Um, and it kind of just like gives the ins and outs of everything that I won't mention today. So it's easier to just go on, check it out. Yeah. Um, but yeah, basically, my um Beckham had started getting eczema around like I'd say like three months old. Um, but it actually didn't, it was just kind of like baby eczema. Like it actually wasn't that bad. Um, I don't even think we used anything to really get rid of it besides like moisturizer and stuff at the time. When did you notice it on his body first? Um, so he would start getting it a little bit like chest, tummy, um, but like in the normal places, behind the knees, in the elbows, that sort of thing. It wasn't until 14 months old that it got so severe, and mainly on his face, which was very bizarre. Like it was he almost did look like a burn victim. Like it was horrible.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, but yeah, basically he had that for like it was quite bad for a while. At the same time as that he um, while he is anaphylactic to peanuts, he was anaphylactic to sesame, which he is thankfully, hopefully grown out of. We still need to test that. Yeah, that's just recent. Um, and yeah, a little backstory, he was also allergic to dairy and egg. This was all when he was around that age.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, whereas now he's um yeah, possibly outgrown the sesame, we think we just need to give it to him. Yeah. Um, we're on the dairy ladder, so he's been making great progress with that, and he's completely outgrown egg. Yeah. So it's just peanuts. So he's well, as far as we know, he hasn't actually ingested peanuts since he was six months old. Yeah. But he did have like an anaphylactic reaction to peanut and sesame when he was younger. Yeah. Um, but yeah, so basically, once his skin was really, really severe, um I also during my pregnancy with him, I had eczema as a kid and kind of outgrew it. And then mine started reappearing when I was pregnant, but not bad, like very, very minor. Yeah. And then once he started getting it really bad, mine got really bad. Like in areas I've never had it. Like my like we pretty much had the same on your eyelids. Yeah, we had the same eczema, like it was bizarre. Bizarre. Yeah, and like everything I've learnt now shows like how much stress can do to your body. Um, like, yeah, obviously, he was my first child, so like I was learning how to be a mum, but also navigating all that as well.

SPEAKER_02

Um, such an early age, too. Yeah. Like, you know, like you said, like the eczema started at 14 months, but the allergies and the anaphylactic reactions, they were young when he first started having salt.

SPEAKER_00

Well, it was like, yeah, so his peanut reaction was he was six months old. That was his first allergen, actually.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And then sesame was 14 months old, so around when his skin was really bad.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, and then dairy and egg, we never actually gave to him. That was just off the prick test. They said, Have you given him dairy and egg yet? And we were like, Well, no. And they were like, let's just get the shit out of the regular peanut. Literally, traumatized. Um, and then it's really hard too because when your skin's bad, like, you're not going to introduce new foods because you're more likely to have a reaction. So there was a long period of time where we couldn't introduce things, yeah, but we did start trying to introduce all the tree nuts. We actually went to Melbourne to do the tree nut challenge to introduce all that. So we knew that he was completely fine with tree nuts, completely fine with seafood. Um, he was fine with everything else, it was just those. Um, but yeah, so we have done like a lot. I should have probably had some notes when I look back at everything, but like I said, everything is on my page. But basically, we you know went down the dermatologist route at the start.

SPEAKER_02

So, like when his skin got like really bad at that 14 months, where did you go then? Who did you see?

SPEAKER_00

So we saw um our allergy specialist, which he is amazing, yeah. Um, and then like dermatologists, and the dermatologist was amazing too. Um, like he helped us a lot, but it just wasn't sustainable what he wanted us to do. It wasn't going to fix anything, it was gonna mask a lot of things.

SPEAKER_02

And he was saying like bleach baths and stuff, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Bleach baths, like just the traditional stuff if you look up eczema, like which sometimes is 100% needed, stereo creams, everything. Like, I'm not against anything. I've been through obviously, yeah. I know how hard it is, and there's no, yeah, you've got to do what you've got to do sometimes, and we had to do all of those things. Yeah, um, but it wasn't a road that I wanted to take because you knew it wasn't going to actually the root of the cause. I knew that it was just masking what's going on. Um, and I think yeah, so that's when we started getting into more the naturopath side of things. So I reckon he was around maybe like 18 months when we're done all like the heavy stuff with the dermatologist, and that's when I was like, all right, it's time to like dig deep now. And that's when we went through our naturopath and had like amazing results.

SPEAKER_02

So pretty much be a result with the dermatologist for this.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, yeah, yeah. So you remember what his face looked like, obviously. Yeah. So that his face looked like that for probably three months. It was a while, yeah. So we like I'm not even exaggerating when I say did not leave the house for three months.

SPEAKER_02

I remember one day I came over and like you like met me at the door and you were like, I've got to warn you. Yeah, like you know, Bex is looking scary right now. Yeah, and like you know, like his his little face just looks so sore, but like the biggest smile on his face was playing the whole time. Like, and I know we've spoken about before, like how happy he's still been throughout all of this, but yeah, it was like it was confronting, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And I think, yeah, I think that's another thing to mention too is that like as hard as those days and times, and you know, like sleep and waking up to blood everywhere, and like he used to wake up with his eyes glued shut together, so I'd have to soak them every morning, and like all of that was so hard, but he was just so happy. Never no, like I think that's when you realize like how resilient kids are because you're just like, holy shit, like we and obviously I was having skin issues at the same time, and I'm like, here I am looking in the mirror, hating myself, not wanting to go anywhere when this child, and I think because now he's older and he still has the same things, but yeah, he's older now and he still feels that way, like he couldn't care less. No, yeah, um, which I mean I'll get more into about that, but yeah, so back then um everything the dermatologist did helped us so much, yeah. Um, and I'm yeah, so grateful for him because it was the first time within three like three months, then within three days, we could see his face again. Like his whole eyes, his the shape of his eyes had changed because of how swollen and inflamed they were. So once they started opening up again, we were like, holy shit, like we just forgot that that's what he looked like, sort of thing. Um, but yeah, fast forward, once we started seeing the naturopath, um, I was like, Alright, everything's like at a more stable state, but I want to like dig like dig a bit deeper now. So that's when we did like a lot of testing, so like stool testing, blood tests, hair tests. Um, we did a lot of salt therapy in there as well, which I actually forgot until a memory popped up the other day. Um, and got a lot of answers from all of that, which like I said, we worked with them for so this was probably when he was like 18 months until maybe probably two and a half, yeah, because once Walker was born, his skin was amazing. Like, and we kind of stopped seeing the naturopath. So we did a lot of yeah, um a lot of herbs, a lot of gut stuff. Um, and then yeah, his skin was really, really good and kind of under control, but it never completely cleared, yeah. And I think this is something now, like in this moment, with all the work and stuff I've done on myself, is what I've realized is like I'm a bit of a obsessive, like I want the control of it being completely gone. Yeah, you know what I mean? So, as much as yes, I do want that, his skin pretty much from when he was two and a half until maybe like mid-last year was pretty much clear. Yeah, and then he had like maybe four spots that were still on his body that I'm like, well, why are they still there? Yeah, um, but it was fine, like his skin was actually so good. Um, and that's when I was kind of like, nah, alright, you know, instead of going back to our naturopath, even though she was incredible, I'm like, I've always heard really good things about homeopathy. Yeah, so I was like, I'm actually gonna try that. Um, which so that was back in like uh what November? Um, and we started working with a homeopath, and I think that's what's really got us to where we are now, because like it has brought a lot of stuff out.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So even though his skin was like really good, you know, back when we're working with the naturopath, and he like we weren't doing really anything besides like internal work, yeah, when we stopped working with the naturopath, and all through working with her, but then whatever was going on internally was probably like starting to happen again.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, so in that time was he taking anything like during the time of you finishing with the naturopath and then starting with the homeopath when his skin was like okay, but like good, but he still had those spots. Were you was he taking anything then?

SPEAKER_00

So only like um like cod liver oil, like things like zinc, all of like things like that. Yeah, um, yeah, so but yeah, like I said, once he had these little spots, I was like, I just yeah, I want to try something else because I wanted, and I still obviously want him to just have no eczema at all. And then you're sort of like thinking, if there's still spots there, there's still there's still stuff going on, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and um anyway, so that's when we started seeing our homeopath, which is amazing, like she's so good. But I actually did a homeopath course a couple of weeks ago, and like when you learn how it works, it makes so much sense, but it's kind of like again a bit like brings up a little bit of trauma, I think, because when we started the drops, his first lot of drops, they they're like little remedies. So basically, instead of taking like herbs, they're like little drops under your tongue. Okay, yeah, and um, so we started saying in like November last year, and from November to Jan, great progress, so good. But then she's like, Alright, we're gonna change to a different remedy now, and then it was probably like Feb to around now, like a month ago, where like it started getting really bad again, and it started coming out around his eyes again, like in spots that it used to be. Yeah, so like after before that, obviously I'm panicking because I'm like, oh my god, why is his skin like probably the worst it's been, not including when he was 14 months old, like the worst it's been since it's been good, yeah. Um, and then once I did this course, I'm like, you know, that's what homeopathy is, it's like bringing anything that's suppressed out, but I'm just like, why is there so much stuff suppressed? But then in saying that, when his skin was really, really bad, we were using a lot of steroids because you've got to do what you gotta do sometimes. And that's what they do, they don't take the eczema away, they suppress it, yeah, they get it off the skin, but it's going internally to places. So, anyway, so once I knew that, it was almost like I was trying to look at it in a different way. Like, this is actually a good thing. Because you want it all to come out, because I was hard as I don't want to suppress it and I want it to all come out, but I'm also like, oh god. I think that's when I realized well, also my own skin starts flaring at the same time, yeah. Um, and I think that's when I really realised how traumatic that time of life was, yeah. Um, and how like I suppose like robbed I felt of that part of being a mum and like postpartum and just I just like had all the feels towards that. Um because I suppose when you're in it, you're just I mean you're not thriving, but you're just like getting through it. Exactly, you know? Yeah, like you don't have a choice. You don't have a choice, yeah. Yeah, you just it's groundhog day, every day is the same, you're not seeing anyone because you don't want anyone to comment. Um I think as well, you just instantly think like, oh my god, they're gonna think I'm doing nothing about it when I'm literally going to be doing more. Literally, um, like all the things. So I think yeah, to once we started that, that all started happening, and then where we're at kind of now, so basically, whenever he would have really bad flare-ups, this is kind of going back again, sorry, but whenever he would have really bad flare-ups, I would also have a really bad flare-up, and it was just like constant. And even mum used to say to me sometimes, like, Oh, I think yours is you know mostly related to stress, and I was so in denial that stress had anything to do with my own, and I was like, like I said before, about being like kind of obsessive and in control, so obsessed with finding an answer to why we both are experiencing it, and all the do you know what I mean? Yeah, um, and then I think I think I've like now where I'm at now, I'm like learning to let go of maybe I'll never find the answer, but just like doing what I can do, sort of thing. Never find the answer, never find the answer, but yeah, but also know that like I think the answer is stress, like, and I think as well, which we'll get to um you know, in the next episode or whatever about like kinesiology and all that stuff, yeah. But I think that made me realise how much my body had been through and why it was coming out in my own skin. 100%, but like it made so much sense, like anyway.

SPEAKER_02

You know, you say like obviously like the stress, yeah, you were getting zero stuff. Oh, yeah, zero stress. You weren't just like a newly postpartum mum with like a baby who doesn't sleep, it was like next level, yeah, you know, and you're waking up all night checking him, and you're you're sleeping with like getting his arms down so he can't scratch.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, like well we well, yeah. So I probably should have mentioned that too. So we started co-sleeping. Well, we co-slept from pretty much when he was born because that's the only way he would sleep. But once he was around like 12 months old, he actually started sleeping in his cot, and then around 14 months old was when things got really bad. So we forced him to sleep with us again. Yeah, um, and which is probably why now five years later he still sleeps with us. But um, yeah, Levi and I would sleep holding one arm each every single night, and then every nap, I would sleep with him because he would like you know scratch so bad. Um, and I think as well, like being a new mum, first of all, he obviously had baby eczema, which didn't really, you know, like I said, it wasn't that bad. But I think him having like the peanut reaction at six months old, I'm like, okay, now I'm navigating that he's got allergies and his skin wasn't even that bad then.

SPEAKER_02

Not even just allergies, like anaphylaxis. Anaphylaxis, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And then, you know, going to Royal Children's and finding out he's also allergic to dairy and egg. Yeah. Um, so that was a lot, and then obviously finding out he wasn't allergic to any other nuts was great, but then it was kind of like things looked like they were settling, and then the skin got really bad, and then the sesame anaphylaxis happened. Yeah, and that was like full-blown anaphylaxis. Like peanut was like an allergy that would have been anaphylaxis if you had it again. Yeah, whereas sesame was like bang, yeah, like three lots of adrenaline, can't breathe type situation. So, even those things as well, sometimes I'm like, okay, that's a lot of stress on my body, besides just the skin stuff. Exactly. But like I said, it has taken me five years to be like, oh, maybe that was a lot that I went through.

SPEAKER_02

Because you're like, you know, like you probably because you've had walkie too, like you can come out of it a little bit on the other side. Obviously, that is in like Of like he's been in a bit of a blowout with his skin at the moment, too. But like you know, you sort of got to the other side of it a little bit, yeah, obviously, so that you could probably be like, Holy shit, like that was that was a loss.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and I think that's another thing you wouldn't see it.

SPEAKER_02

No, notice when you were in it.

SPEAKER_00

No, and I think that's another thing. Um, is like you know, when Walker was born, I um and I had a question about this, so I'll talk about it at the end, but I had done a lot of work before getting pregnant with Walker on my own gut health and all that stuff. Um, and I think when Walker was born, I'm really big on like intuition and I knew that he was not gonna have anything. I just always knew, even though he was I you know he statistically had like a higher rate of having X-Mar and allergies because he's got a sibling that does. I just knew that he was not gonna have anything. And then um, yeah, it was I think that's why being a mum the second time around for me was like amazing. Like I can't fault any part of it because I was like, this is a whole different experience. Like I've done some hard work, I yeah, I was like, oh my god, I can like bath this baby, and he's not like you know, like, or um his skin is just no matter what, it's flawless. Like, and even though now hindsight, I'm so glad, not glad, that's not the right word. I'm so grateful everything that I have been through because I would not be where I am now, yeah. Um, and just learning all the things I have and like just passionate about so many different things. Yes. But um, yeah, I think the second time round, and Bex was Bex skimmed through all through all of having Walker, and that was so good. I was just like in the happiest place then.

SPEAKER_02

It was like, seems like it was a bit like um, what's the word I'm looking for? Like healing.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, so healing. Yeah, like so healing. And then yeah, like I said, when he started when Walker started solids, and the older he got, like, even though subconsciously I was kind of like, you know, looking out for little spots to pop up, yeah, but I also was like nothing's gonna pop up, and then I would like compare photos, being like, Whoa, they're the same, like you know, we're getting further and further and further into yeah, um, and I mean he's like you know, he'll be three this year, so and he has no allergies and he's never had eczema, yeah. Um but anyway, getting back to where we're at now, like I said, sorry for the back and forth constantly, it's just my brain. Um, but yeah, so when we started back with our homeopath in November, his skin was actually pretty good, like it had been good for a long time, yeah. But he still had these little spots, and I was just so determined to be like, why are these spots? Because the spots he had, he had always had. Yeah. And they'd like get better, but like keep coming back in the same spots. Same spots. Also, he's got a different form of eczema now than he used to. So he's got like discoid eczema, which is not his the back of his legs and the inner of his elbows couldn't be clearer. Yeah, it's like patches on his body. Um, so it's very different to what I had or have. Mine's more like the inner elbows, like back of the legs where you normally get eczema.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, whereas his is like he's never had it, besides when he was three months old, or when he started getting it, he's never had it on the back of his legs, he's never had it in his elbows, he's never had it in creases of his body. Um so his is more just like areas or like around his mouth or around his eyes or whatever. Um, so anyway, yeah, so started back with a homeopath in November. It was pretty good until like Feb, and then we changed the remedy, and that's when things started, those patches that he had started appearing in other areas, and he started kind of getting it around his eye again, which he hasn't had on his face for a long time. And then once I did that course, um, that's when I realised like okay, and obviously she had said, like, you know, a lot of like what's been suppressed probably will come out, but we're going very gentle, so it kind of shouldn't.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, and it kind of did start too. So we there was a couple of times where we stopped and kept restarting and stopped and starting. Yeah. Um, but then because I just, you know, love searching things, I found a holistic pharmacist in Perth. Yes, I remember you mentioning this to me. Um, which has been life-changing for me. Okay. Um anyway, I and I mean I think, you know, that's obviously probably helping Bex too, but because his is a bit more severe than mine, um, it might just take a little bit longer.

SPEAKER_02

And is it because like they're different types?

SPEAKER_00

I think so, yeah. So mine's a lot more like your typical eczema, like I scratch and it'll get a bit red and a bit rashy. Yeah. Whereas his is like, it's like he's fallen over and he's got like a gash or like a scab sort of in areas. Um, but anyway, I found this pharmacist in Perth and yeah, he's just like I mean, he's a typical pharmacist, but he's also her holistic pharma pharmacist when it comes to skin conditions.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And so I emailed him and sent some photos through because the other thing was is that, like I said, I am not anti-steroid. I I know, you know, unless you've been through it, you can't comment on steroids. Um, do I want to use them? Absolutely not, but I'm not gonna let my child be in pain at the same time. So, but I do I did find that sometimes when I also I'm very educated on steroids, so like I know how to use them properly. Yeah. Um, but also I do know that um like trying to do like homeopath stuff and then trying to use steroids are kind of like well, I think, are kind of cancelling each other out. But I also sometimes I'm like, well, I don't want this to get infected that then requires antibiotics, so I'm gonna use the steroid. Yes. Um, but I did really want to find something else that potentially could help that wasn't a steroid. Yeah. Um, and there's a lot of like non-steroid creams, but they're not good either.

SPEAKER_02

So would they help?

SPEAKER_00

Or like they probably would they would probably help, but like a lot of them have like black box warnings and stuff, which is like, yeah, can cause a lot of space, do we? No. So um again, I'm not a medical professional, but you know, I don't think anyone researches as much as a mum that's been through shit.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and I I remember you said this in an episode one time.

SPEAKER_00

You're the uh you're the f yeah, I'm not a I'm not an expert, but I'm the expert in my child. I'll stand by that. Yeah. Um trying that in your babe. Yeah. But um, but yeah, so yeah, so I found this pharmacist, which I actually think I come across him, yeah, from a girl on TikTok. TikTok, yeah. Thank God. Thank God for TikTok, yeah. Thank God for TikTok. Um but basically, yeah, he mixes you up a herbal cream that's like just all different, like beeswax, almond oil, like all natural things. Um, and he mixes you up like a little tonic, herbal tonic to drink as well. Um, regarding like obviously depending on the photos you send him and whatever. Yeah. But I so I went ahead and did that and I started using it on myself too, because when I used to get eczema as a kid, like I said, it would be like in the normal spots, but I never had it on my face ever until I well, until postpartum. Because when I when it started coming back in pregnancy, it was on the back of my neck, which I'd also never had it. That's the only spot I had it. And then once Bex was born, it kind of started on my eyelids and then it, you know, started everywhere basically.

SPEAKER_02

Which is just like crazy because that's then when where Beck and got it.

SPEAKER_00

Oh my god, like even now, like you know, when we've both had flare-ups at the moment, we get it in our scalp. I've never had eczema in my scalp, and we will be sitting there scratching our scalps at the same time, and I'm just like, why are we so in tune? It's crazy. You connect it still, yeah, literally. Um and anyway, so yeah, so I started I obviously got this cream for Bex and started using it on me because I was kind of like, oh, maybe I'll give it a go, but I might try it first, and like my face has never been this clear.

SPEAKER_02

So good.

SPEAKER_00

Like, because even when my face was good and I wasn't using um like steroids on my face, yeah, but I oh I forgot about the South African dermatologist. I also, like a few years ago, found a South African dermatologist that uses steroids but in a different way, so like it's like a diluted steroid rather than like keep making it more potent. Yeah, you're just using he never um puts up the potency of it and he does it by your weight and your age. Yeah. So that's another thing. The first time around when Beck started getting eczema, they were telling me that I couldn't use a certain steroid on my face, but to use it on my two-year-old.

unknown

What?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and we were saying this like a dermatologist. Like a dermatologist, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. So that's when I was like, hang on a second. This can't be right. This can't be right. And that's why when I found this South African dermatologist, I was like, okay, ideally, no steroids would be the go, but I would so much rather a steroid suited to your age and your weight, and it's highly diluted in moisturizer, yeah, than you know, normally it would be like, oh, this steroids doing nothing for my ex-ma. Okay, let's make a stronger one. Keep going up and up and up and up. Um, so anyway, that was a side note, but um, how did I get onto the topic of that?

SPEAKER_02

You're talking about your pharmacist being a bigger one. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, so um I wasn't using any steroids on my face. Occasionally I was using that cream from the South African dermatologist on areas on my body. Yeah. Um, and but I also was kind of like, I don't want to be using this. And also my skin isn't bad enough to be using this, but it's kind of all I've got at the same time. And anyway, so yeah, I used some of that, so I was like, I'll just see what this is like, and it was so good. So how quickly did you see it? Like within a night.

SPEAKER_02

That's insane. Because I remember that TikTok you showed me that you said this is me one day, and then this is me next day.

SPEAKER_00

And I even said to them, I want, like, because my child has anaphylaxis, I want a full ingredient list of the cream. Yeah, because I had seen a lot of comments being like, No, this is too good to be true, like, there has to be a steel red in it or something. It is literally like chamomile, calendula, almond oil, like it's all natural.

SPEAKER_02

So good that he like wasn't hesitant to show it to you, and not that he should be, but I'm like, it just like he's just like you know, he's putting it all out there and just being like, you know, so he's not trying to hide anything at the time, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, and yeah, like I said, I'll actually show you a photo in a minute of Beth's skin last week compared to today.

SPEAKER_02

And if you're comfortable, maybe we might try to.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, because even just like the spot he's had above his lip, he's literally had for 12 months. Yeah, he's had it for so long, and like you name it, we've tried it, nothing gets rid of it. And it was actually yesterday I was showing the girls last night because I was like talking to him and I was like, oh my god, what the hell? Like your lip looks so clear. And I said, Can you come over into the light? And then I was like, this is the clearest I've seen that lip ever. Like I can't wait to see that. And yeah, and I think um, like I think now with the homeopath, sorry, getting back to the homeopath again, um we recently had an appointment from when we kept stopping and starting the old remedy and started a new remedy. Um, and I think finally we're starting to see a little bit of more improvement than what we had seen. Because it kind of like the last couple of months everything was brought out. Yeah. And it's not, it wasn't necessarily getting worse once it was all out. Yes, but it wasn't improving.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Whereas now it's kind of like certain areas are starting to like turn into scabs instead of being raw. Yes. Or like the new remedy with the new remedy, and probably in conjunction with the cream, the cream from the um per farmers. From the peripharmacist. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Um so that seems to be like the good combination.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, 100%. And yeah, I think like getting back to what I was saying earlier, where I was saying, you know, like he's never cared and he's always been so happy and whatever, and I think as you know, as a k as a two-year-old, you're like, of course they don't care, like they're they're two, they don't know anything. Whereas as a five-year-old, he's a very like confident, bubbly boy, like he does not, and I think that's been like a massive learning thing for me because I'm like, holy shit, he is just so confident. You would never want him not to know, and I think that's like really opened my eyes recently to why I want to share my own journey because that's another thing. I made the page originally um for him. For Beckham. Like and it actually used to be called Beckham Eczma allergies. Yes. And then I kind of, you know, as he got older, I obviously still want to share stuff, but I'm a bit more like, you know, I suppose like he's just like a little boy now, so I don't want to share like his whole life. Exactly. Um, but I still want to share things about him, but then I was kind of like, well, I don't want to make this page with his name in it, because then it's like him. Yeah. And then, like I said, having all these realizations now of like, oh my god, like I'm raising this boy that's so confident, but I'm not feeling like that within myself, and that's why when I shared that post like recently, being like, you know, I'll share my own experience because he's kind of teaching me that that's what I should do.

SPEAKER_02

And like, you know, as far as it is like that's so beautiful, yeah. It is like that he can teach you, like, and he can show you like who cares, Mom.

SPEAKER_00

Who cares? Yeah, you know, it's like I wake up, like when I used to wake up, and I'd my skin would be so red and so sore, and like he wasn't saying, What's wrong with you? Exactly. Like he was just like, Hey, I want breakfast. Oh, this. Yeah. Um, and yeah, just little things. Like sometimes, like, you know, I don't want to go anywhere, yeah, because I'm feeling shit, and I'm I'm worried about the same sort of feelings that I used to have. Like, I'm worried that someone's gonna comment on him or like say, like, oh, have you tried this or have you tried this? And you know, but then I'm also like getting so much better at being like, don't who cares? Yeah, because he doesn't care, no, and I know all the stuff that we're doing, and that's kind of all that matters at the same time.

SPEAKER_02

But like, I also know, like, and obviously I I can't speak exactly enough because I've never been through that. But like you want to protect him too, because like you don't want people to like comment on it and him to hear it, because then not that anybody should be commenting on the they don't, but like if you were out and somebody commented on it, you don't want him to then think, oh, like what are they talking about? Like, you know, people are noticing this and then him to second guess himself. Yeah. Because we never want that for like ever.

SPEAKER_00

And I think that's why I was kind of like, okay, now you know, when he was two and my skin was really bad back then, I could stay home for three months and hide, and like, but I think now I'm like, that's actually he's teaching me, obviously, that we need to get out, and we need because that's not only gonna be so good for our mental health in general, exactly, but it's actually like I don't want him to ever think, oh mum doesn't want to go anywhere because she's got bad skin, yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_02

And that it's a problem, and you're always like your own worst critic. Like you look at yourself in the mirror and you're like, oh my god, yeah, or like you know, because you've been through so much with Bex, you would look at his skin and be like, oh, you know, but really like as much as we think other people are looking at us, like are they?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, you know, well, and everyone has their thing, so it's like you know, they're probably focused on it.

SPEAKER_02

You're always insecure about something of yourself, like and like they're your like you know, they're your insecurities, of course.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and I think that's the thing, I think I've just realized like no one hangs out with you because of how good your skin your skin is. Like, no one, like if I I think back to like when we were younger and you know, one of our good friends had like really bad acne. Yeah, and like I remember she wouldn't want to go out or she won't want to do this, and I'm like, let's go out, don't be ridiculous, like let's go out. Because there wasn't one, like, yes, I obviously knew she had acne.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, but there wasn't one part of me that would be like so focused on her acne that I'm like no, you just it just didn't even ask any of it, it didn't even cross my mind, yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_00

Um, and yeah, like obviously Bex is starting school next year, and I'm like, I want him to continue being so confident and like sure of himself, and like I think Yeah, that's kind of where all the mindset stuff comes into it, yeah, and where like obviously we'll talk more about kinesiology, but it's kind of like it's like I've had this epiphany finally after five years of like holy crap you don't realise how much even just me being so fixated on that for so many years, yeah, is still making my skin be the way it is. Yeah, do you know what I mean? Yeah, whereas when you just like learn to let go, yeah, and like kind of live through him, yeah, you're like, holy shit, like even after sharing that post with my own skin, I felt like so good.

SPEAKER_02

I was like, oh my god, like a way to bend later.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, like why didn't I do that so many years ago?

SPEAKER_02

You also that can't be hard on yourself because like you're at a different place now, and like you know, you had to go through all those hard times to then get where you are now and to like work on it, and like you've done so well with it, you know. You haven't let it, and I know that you've definitely had some some rough times and some dark times, but yeah, you've not let it like fully like you know bring you down and like just be like your whole personality, you know what I mean? Yeah, you've been able to get through it and like really work on yourself, and the way you are as a mum and like as a partner and everything that you do for your family is just but it's incredible, like you've never ever like just been like um you know, and like we've said, like not that storage are an issue, but you've never just like wanted to mask this, you've always wanted to get to the bottom of it for Bex, and and for yourself, you know what I mean? Like, and every day still you're just doing so much for them, like you you should be so proud of yourself. I'm so proud of you, as as your friend, I'm so proud of you. Yeah, thank you. And I threw it all like you know, I have loved to see how it hasn't changed, Bex, you know. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I think that's the thing now that I'm like, yeah, well, like I said, I feel like that is what has really made me be like, oh my god, you know, I think as like a mum in general, you're obviously um going to do whatever you have to do for your child, yeah. Um but yeah, I I don't even know where I was going with that. Just like had a um oh god, that was yeah, I don't even know where I was going with that. But yeah, I feel like I, you know, it's so easy for people on the outside, not that anyone says this, but even like you know, just because no one looks at him in that way, yeah, it's very easy for people to be like, oh, you know, like oh my son had X M when they're little, they're fine, like they grew out of it. Yeah. And I'm like, yeah, but I'm not gonna wait for him to grow out of it. No. Because first of all, that's not fair on him, yeah. Like when there's more that can be done, and also that's like that's not helping me at all.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And even though like I know like where I'm at now, I I am very like, like I said, like I want to be out of control everything that sometimes are out of your control. Yeah. But I'm also like, I know that like I can do that, and like I'm not going to stop doing it until it's going to get better. Because I've been there before.

SPEAKER_02

Like, I've just been he'll grow out of it. Well, like, actually, if there's if if there's something internally that's happening, well, he won't grow out of it.

SPEAKER_00

No, or maybe it'll be 10 years away.

SPEAKER_02

It might go away, and then it will come back when he's when he's older, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00

Exactly. Um, so yeah, I think that's another thing that's like good to mention too, is that like, yeah, you know, I know people mean well when they're like this is for another parent if they're experiencing it as well. Like people say, like, oh, you know, they'll even even some like medical professionals will say, Oh, you know, it's just a thing that people get and you just grow out of it. And it's like, what am I meant to do in the meantime? Exactly. And also, okay, when? When he's 10? Yeah, when he's 15, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And what what is what happens in the meantime? What do you do? Because I'm not just gonna let him sit here in so much pain and have everything. So, what are you telling me to do?

SPEAKER_00

Exactly. And I think, yeah, just everything I've learned. I'm like, our bodies are always telling us something. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02

So if something's coming out, it's for a reason.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and looking back at you know how clear his skin was from like 18 months to like last year. I'm like, we got there before, even though he still had these little spots, it was like 95% clear.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, so obviously, yeah. There's more more going on.

SPEAKER_02

More going on that wasn't treated then.

SPEAKER_00

Exactly. But yeah, I think yeah, it's crazy once you kind of realize how much, like I said, stress or just things you subconsciously hold on to. Yes, you know, yeah, manifest into other things.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah. And we are gonna get into some questions in the next episode, but I want to uh finish it with one question. Yeah. Right now, in your journey with Bex, like now, yeah, and where he's at with his skin, like how are you feeling about it right now?

SPEAKER_00

I actually am feeling really good right now. I mean, obviously, his skin still isn't great right now. Like I said, it's better on his face, but his body is still he's got quite a lot on his body. But I think because I know that we're going to get there, and like I said, after doing that course and understanding how it works more, I'm kind of like everything that has been suppressed for the last four plus years is coming out, and that's what I want to happen. Yeah. Um, so even you know, back when I said he was doing so good, there probably was still a little bit of stuff that was suppressed. Which is why those patches were there. Exactly. Um but I think overall looking at it the way that I have in the last pretty much since I posted my own photos of me, yeah, and looking at it through the like through him, I suppose, and being like, I could. I can't let my mindset ever change the way he feels about himself. I think I just remind myself of that every day. Yeah. Because I'm like, I don't, I don't ever want to take away his like confidence and just how, you know, like if he sees our neighbour out if he sees our neighbour out the front, he's like, oh, I gotta go, I gotta go talk to them. And then I'm like, I might be inside hiding because I feel like shit. And I'm like, how this kid that's like covered in expert on his face wants to go talk to our neighbour. Never say. But then I'm in the kitchen, I'm hiding. I'm like, I can't hide. Yeah. Like, so yeah, I think I'm just every time I wake up and I'm kind of like feeling sorry for myself, um, I'm kind of like, shut up. Like, let's just like let's keep going. Because I think I've had that time now where I've validated myself and validated everything that's happened, but like it's time to move forward now. And like, I think again getting back to the kinesiology, that's all has made me realise how much yeah, that has helped me in validating. But let's move on, we're not in that time anymore.

SPEAKER_02

I'm so excited to dive deeper into that.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. That's good.

SPEAKER_02

That's like a therapy session. Is there anything else that you want to touch on before?

SPEAKER_00

I don't think so. I reckon. Yeah, like I said, um, I mean, I kind of touched on most of the stuff anyway, but I'd talk about it a lot more in depth on my page. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Everyone go check out that page because there's um like you've gone through specific situations that you've had like shared photos of when he had his sesame, yeah, anaphylaxis, and everything like that. So even if you just have a scroll through Em's page and obviously give her a follow, um, and then you'll be able to sort of like I guess follow a little bit more to what you were saying, yeah, yeah, and also lines and stuff.

SPEAKER_00

I will just quickly mention, which I think I did mention briefly, but like there's been so many wins in the journey, like it hasn't just been, you know, like I said, he was originally anaphylactic to peanut sesame, allergic to dairy and egg, and now he's technically only anaphylactic to peanuts, yeah. And that's you know, just from a prick test, but he might be able to hopefully tolerate those when he hasn't had them since he was six months old. But even going from having you know four allergies to having one is huge, and yeah, his skin, if we're comparing it to now back to when he was like eight, fourteen months old, it's still nowhere near that.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, even though it's like you almost can't compare it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, exactly. So I'm like, there is so many wins, but I think again, we just always focus on the negatives.

SPEAKER_02

Um yeah, it's hard also when it's like you can see it. Yes, it's hard to not dwell on it, of course. Yeah, um, but yeah, I think that's pretty much it for this part. Thank you so much for sharing. No worries, it's like a good little therapy crash. I think it's gonna like this these next few episodes really gonna help people who are not even necessarily like it doesn't have to be eczema, but any sort of like illness or anything that anybody's dealing with. I think it's just gonna like teach people and show people to I don't know, like if you feel like something's not right, then like it's probably not like trust your intuition and like dive deeper. Yep. If you think that I don't know, sometimes you can, you know, people are always looking for a band-aid fix, I think. So, you know, just just keep researching and you know, like you said, you're the expert of like your own, yeah, your own like condition, your own field, you know.

SPEAKER_00

Like, and I think that's why you're like, you know, you want to obviously say I'm not a medical professional and and put your just put your disclaimer out, yeah. But you're also kind of like you know when something's not gonna work for your child, or you know when yeah, you just kind of like I go with my yeah, I go with my gut, and they they're not their child. So like if it was their child, they'd probably dig deeper too. Yeah, exactly. So yeah, I think just just question things if you want to. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Or if you're not getting answers, yeah, and never feel like you can't.

SPEAKER_02

No, 100%. You don't just have to believe someone because they've got a degree. 100% if you still don't think that's right. Yeah, yeah. Appreach. Hallelujah, baby.

SPEAKER_00

Thanks for listening to my TED Talk.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, well, thank you so much for tuning in, guys, and make sure you stick along for the next episode because we're going to dive deeper into some of the treatments that Em's been doing and answer some questions.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you, guys. Bye.