Latte Connections

Are you more of a iced (standoffish) or warm (bubbly) Latte ? 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:07

Welcome! This is RTK coming to you very prepared.

SPEAKER_00 0:14

Hello. Hale Latte. Welcome back. Welcome back. This is Kay. This is R.

SPEAKER_04 0:23

And this is Bear.

SPEAKER_02 0:25

I know that. Welcome back. He came back with another episode. Alright. So today's topic is gonna be drum roll.

SPEAKER_03 0:41

How to keep connections.

SPEAKER_02 0:45

Alright. So how to keep human connections.

SPEAKER_04 0:51

Yo, that's better be genuine. Oh, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_02 0:54

Honestly, I think that's what I think that's like a huge problem in this world. Like personalities, disorders, stuff like that, like they keep these certain types of people discombobulated from, you know, making connections and stuff. And I'm not even just talking about like, you know, the common stuff of depression, anxiety, because everybody got that shit, right? Yeah. But I'm talking about like personality disorder, bipolar disorder, like schizophrenia, like all of that. I feel like that's compulsive liar disorder.

SPEAKER_05 1:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:36

You know what I'm saying? Like that keeps people from having genuine connections. Because all of like, especially when I'm like watching these like murder documentaries and stuff like that, it's actually quite insane. Like how they're like so mentally kind of like messed up, yeah, that all they want to do is just put themselves first, however, they can get over, basically. Oh, okay, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, so like, yes, like they'll build a connection and then fuck them over in an instant, you know?

SPEAKER_03 2:08

Yeah. Or they build a connection just so they can like get away with what they're doing. Right.

SPEAKER_02 2:14

That's insane. But I value human connection. I think my friendship level is definitely at capacity. No more friends. And like, not like, and I mean that with all due respect. How many friends you get? Too many. Too many. At least 15 to 20. Dang. Yeah. That many. And they're like solid friends. Whoa. Yeah. That's a lot. That's a lot about you though. Yeah, but that's a lot to maintain because I feel like relationships are just like jobs. Yeah. You have to pour into them just like they pour into me, you know? Yeah. And not to say that I'm like not grateful, because I am truly blessed and grateful, you know. But it's just I'm not capacity. I know I definitely gotta book you early.

SPEAKER_03 3:02

Yeah. Weeks in advance. For any events that I want you to go to or join, I have to book you early. Yeah. Because if not, I I'm always got some shit to do.

SPEAKER_02 3:13

Yeah, I know. Yeah. But um, yeah, um, let's see. My earliest childhood friend, her name is Liz. We met in sixth grade at soccer. Yes, played soccer together. After that came Jasmine. And we met in middle school.

SPEAKER_04 3:34

I know Jasmine too.

SPEAKER_02 3:36

Um, and then when I met Jasmine, I think that's also when I met Gabby, and like the list goes on and on and on and on. Wow. Yeah. Have a few college friends that I still talk to. Like, I would consider them my best friends. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 3:52

Like, yeah, that's beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 3:54

Yeah. So I enjoy, and I always tell people that, like, even though like you don't have to be the closest to that person, they are in your life for a reason. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, they don't have to be in your life to tell all your deepest, darkest secrets to. But if that one friend is your moral support, go to that one friend for moral support.

SPEAKER_05 4:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:20

If that other friend is there for emotional dump, go to that friend that has the capacity for you to be a fucking therapist. Yeah. You know, therapist talk session. You know, like everybody has their different role to play, including me. Yeah. Love them down. You about to cry? No.

SPEAKER_01 4:39

Oh, you don't even have to cry. I hope not. Yeah, most definitely.

SPEAKER_02 4:48

But yeah. What about you, Bear?

SPEAKER_04 4:52

Um, like what you mean, what about me?

SPEAKER_02 4:56

Like, how is your level of like human connection? Like, what are you feeling? What are you thinking?

SPEAKER_04 5:02

Um I guess I do. So, like when I when I go out, um, a lot of my friends say that like I'm easy to get a like, I'm really just easy to talk to. I know how to hold a conversation. Uh and really, and really not even just like holding a conversation, just like somebody speaking. Like, I know how to like listen, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 5:28

He said I guess.

SPEAKER_04 5:30

And not and not just like bullshit, and not just like bullshit, like, oh yeah, I hear you. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I hear you, I hear, I hear you.

SPEAKER_02 5:38

Um, question Do you feel lonesome at times? And if you do, do you like act upon that human connection, whether it be like just talking, emotional, physical, like what does that look like for you?

SPEAKER_04 5:54

Um when I when I get lonely, I I kind of just like sit in my loneliness. Like, I don't reach out. I don't I don't really, yeah, I don't I don't reach out. I just kinda just to myself. Okay. And then I'll get to a point where like, damn, let me call somebody. So like I'll call like one of my closest homies.

SPEAKER_02 6:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:18

And we don't even be, we don't even get on the phone, or sometimes we get on the phone and not and not talk about nothing. It'll just damn near be silence.

SPEAKER_03 6:27

Well, that's nice.

SPEAKER_04 6:29

And I'm missing starting. I'm sorry for I love you. No, you too. But um, but yeah, I I kind of just said my loneliness until I feel like, okay, I'm I'm tripping. Let me let me talk to somebody.

SPEAKER_02 6:51

Yeah, so to piggyback off of that, do you feel like loneliness has to do with your social battery?

SPEAKER_04 7:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 7:02

Yeah, cuz like you don't you you'll be able to tell you can't you don't wanna how I say this. Like you can you can tell like when you don't wanna like you not wanna be bothered. Yeah, yeah, you just wanna sit. Yeah, you just want to be on your own. And and then and then you're gonna and then you're gonna realize like, oh shit, like, damn, let me let me talk to somebody.

SPEAKER_02 7:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 7:34

Then you know, yeah, okay. Talk to somebody.

SPEAKER_02 7:38

So how many solid friends do you have? Like, just give us like a say like 10.

SPEAKER_04 7:45

10.

SPEAKER_02 7:45

Really?

SPEAKER_04 7:46

Yeah, yeah, yeah. 10 solid friends.

SPEAKER_02 7:49

But honestly, I think we take after mom because mom is such a social butterfly.

SPEAKER_04 7:54

Like mom is a social butterfly. Yeah, I think we definitely take after her. Yeah, and don't hey, don't don't let me have some alcohol in front of me, too. I know that's right. I'm gonna come to life at the party. Turn it up, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:11

And like, do you have female friends?

SPEAKER_04 8:14

Um platonic, yeah. I have two two female friends that it's is strictly platonic.

SPEAKER_03 8:20

And do you feel like you have a different connection with them compared to the front friendship that you have with your back friends? No, no, no, so you'll call them and be like, Yeah, just sit there on the phone.

SPEAKER_04 8:31

Yeah, just sit there on the phone, and and then again, like we don't have to talk, we yeah we don't even be talking about shit. That's good though, just be sitting there and yeah, that's beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 8:42

That's good having those different perspectives when you need something, you know. Like you said, you have you have gotten it. I need some more girlfriends, bombastic type tonic, of course.

SPEAKER_02 8:55

Okay, okay, but yeah, I have um actually two really solid guy friends. Yeah, yeah, they're my besties. You talk about them all love them down. Well, to me, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shout out to Carlos. I know the lobby.

SPEAKER_04 9:09

Um, give me an agile.

SPEAKER_02 9:13

I know that's right. I know that's right. Yeah, I remember you telling me. Those little like things that I miss so funny.

SPEAKER_03 9:23

Yeah, but that's good. Yeah. What about you? Not that I'm avoided thing again. Okay, so my friend count.

SPEAKER_02 9:38

She's not gonna include me, y'all.

SPEAKER_03 9:40

I shouldn't include you, or should I? Yeah, bitch. My friend count is like three.

SPEAKER_01 9:50

Now if I didn't, I start cutting on my fingers.

SPEAKER_03 9:55

If I didn't include coworkers, probably like zero. Like, I don't talk to anybody, I don't keep connections with anybody, and I used to be the opposite. Um, I used to like love keeping up with people and seeing where they were, like in life and stuff like that. But I think somewhere along the line, something just slipped inside me. And I don't know. Yeah, like I don't connect with anybody anymore. Yeah, and my mom, and I knew y'all were gonna have a lot of friends because I met your mom. Oh yeah. But like my mom, she's the same way, she's a social butterfly, she makes friends forever. I just did not get that trait. I'm very awkward, yeah, and my sense of humor is very, you know, yeah. And people when they like me, like people love me. There's no in between. You either love me or you hate me. Yeah, there's no in between, like people, and I feel like I'm always misunderstood. Yeah, but um, yeah, like that's that Leo for you. And I used to have a ton of friends. I used to have so many friends, but I just didn't keep up with them. Yeah, like I said, I don't know what flip, I don't know what depression episode I went through, but I just cut everybody off. I just cut everybody off. Dang, you kicked that like you mad. Yeah, I cut everybody off, and I don't know why I did.

SPEAKER_02 11:25

So with you cutting everybody off, do you feel like God impact it like everything? No, you just have to feel for you or either like you change at all. Or certain parts of you change.

SPEAKER_03 11:50

I definitely change. Like I'm not the social butterfly I used to be. Um, but I don't know. But yeah, I'm no longer the social butterfly that I was. It's because like like you said, people they're not genuine. And like me, like what you see is what you get. Like I am a hundred percent in on my friendships. Yeah, and if you're not meeting me, I cannot, I just I just it drains me. A lot of friendships drain me.

SPEAKER_04 12:24

Yeah, so because of the one-sidedness, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:28

I'm all in, and I used to be a like I used to be the life of the party. Yeah, I was the money, everybody getting drinks, everybody getting drinks, and at the end of the week, you know, like everybody getting drinks, everybody going to the club, everybody, I was always the driver, you know, and the giver I gave and gave, gave, and gave.

SPEAKER_02 12:54

So yeah, get tired of I got tired of getting all the time. So that's valid. So my next question is gonna be in regards to like not having any type of you know, like connections or like not maintaining those connections. Do you feel like your self-awareness or like your openness to new perspectives have also changed?

SPEAKER_03 13:29

Yeah, like I'm overly self-aware now. Like I'm overly self-aware to the point where like I won't even go anywhere. Like, you know, yeah, and you know. Um, so yeah, like my perspective of life has totally changed. I'm just waiting to die any moment.

SPEAKER_02 13:45

Oh I feel that I constantly say, like, I need to be taken out. So right, right.

SPEAKER_03 13:52

And then that's another thing, like dealing with death has made me look at life like damn, if I become this person's friend, they're gonna die one day, and I'm gonna have to deal with that emotion. And I don't know if I can take it.

SPEAKER_04 14:08

That's deep right there. Yeah, I have yet to think think of any of my friends dying. Yeah. So thinking about that shit now.

SPEAKER_03 14:21

Exactly. Like, it like when you make that connection with people, like the fear of losing that connection. And I think that's my issue. I'm more afraid of losing the connection than making it.

SPEAKER_02 14:34

That's valid. Honestly, I went through rough patches with all of my friends, and it's worse than a freaking heartbreak. For real. I'm glad that we came back together, but it is worse than a heartbreak for real.

SPEAKER_03 14:46

For real.

SPEAKER_02 14:48

Okay, so the next question would be like, how do you improve your connections that you have, or like how do you maintain them? Or is it just kind of different per person? I'll go ahead and start. So for me, it is different per person because every one of my friends are are different. So, like, um for instance, well, one basic thing is just showing up for everybody, right? Right, and even if you can't show up for them in certain ways, it's just a matter of communicating, like, hey, like I'm not in a mental space or I'm not in a financial space to you know assist you at this time, you know what I'm saying? Um, but yeah, like I call her my wife, but or my for life rare, but for her, we talk on the phone every day. When I hit that clock out time for lunch break, every day it's a phone call. I'm gonna put this shit. You know what I'm saying? Like, we've done that now for like over three, four years, and it's never changed. Like, yes, we might miss a day because shit happens, yeah, or like we'll need to handle business and stuff like that, but even after that, we'll call each other after we're off of work, or we'll send a hey blue text, you know what I'm saying? Like and that's just one example. Another example is random FaceTime calls, like, hey, I'm thinking about you, you know what I'm saying? So just something like that is how I somewhat like maintain or keep my connections strong.

SPEAKER_04 16:38

Um, well, I need to work on my my keeping up with the connections because you I don't even I don't even talk to the to the fam sometimes.

SPEAKER_02 16:51

But like I said, connections are like a job, you know what I'm saying? So I mean, looky sometimes it's just like out of sight, out of mind, you're just living your life. And as adults, like we should understand that. You know what I'm saying? Like, we don't have to have a high maintenance ass relationship, it could be low maintenance. Yeah, we can go without months with talking, but that one random Tuesday, you you know, feel extra special about reaching out, reach out.

SPEAKER_03 17:24

Yeah, I would say Kalani is my best friend, you know. And even though I don't talk to her, I probably haven't talked to her in like a year. But if she was to call me or probably call her, I'm pretty sure it'd be like, girl, what you been up to?

SPEAKER_04 17:38

Yeah, pick up where y'all left off.

SPEAKER_03 17:40

Yeah, yeah. But I definitely fucked up. I made my husband my best friend. What the fuck? And we see where that got me, so yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 17:57

Ready, fight.

SPEAKER_02 18:03

Well, how do you like maintain your guy friends? Or like how do you or like maintain those connections, I should say? Like, do you talk to them every day? Do you play the game with them? Do you go on like hot guy walks? What does that look like?

SPEAKER_04 18:18

Uh I mean, with everybody's different, like to like uh you know most of my friends, uh, you know, so like for Volvo, you know, we we probably get on the game, you know, or uh he'll probably he'll uh get us together to like make some music, you know, and like Gus, you know, I I'll probably like we don't talk every day. We or we we probably won't have to talk every day, you know, so I just check in with him whenever I, you know, he come across my mind or something. Um same thing with like little bro. Lil bro, you know, he come across my mind, I'll shoot him a text message, or you know, we we got into a thing where we we start making a little bit of music together, so everybody's different. It's it don't have to be every day either. It can be a week, a month. It probably won't go a whole year, but it don't have to be every day.

SPEAKER_03 19:35

I definitely admire y'all's friendships and I know like you try, I know he she tries, y'all want to do the FaceTime and just honestly I do not like FaceTiming.

SPEAKER_02 19:47

I'm a texter.

SPEAKER_03 19:48

Same. I don't even like talking on the phone.

SPEAKER_02 19:50

Like I blow you up. You'll take me.

SPEAKER_04 19:54

Man, I don't I don't care. I I like FaceTime. Let me see your ugly.

SPEAKER_03 20:02

My mom she'll call and I'll be like, girl, just text. But yeah, I'm definitely not good at keeping connections. We're connecting. I will unconnect so fast. We know, and not on purpose, it just happens, baby. No, it's on purpose, it just happens, whatever.

SPEAKER_02 20:25

Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, clerk. It just happens. I'm gonna stick by it. It took six months for her to even talk to me. And I only talk about life stuff at work.

SPEAKER_01 20:37

Okay, I remember I asked her for help one day and she said, Are you signed off yet to do that?

SPEAKER_02 20:52

All I was doing was trying to help her sister out. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 20:55

I was trying to help the team out once again. She did the textbook. Okay, once again, misunderstood. Because were you signed off?

SPEAKER_02 21:06

I was told to complete a mission which was helpful charts. Next thing you know, are you signed off on that? Are you? Were you?

SPEAKER_03 21:16

No, not at that time.

SPEAKER_01 21:18

You can't do it, but yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:27

But you in the way, baby no, I might have been slow, but very, but we were still handling them charts barely. All right. Okay, any other concerns, comments? Uh nope. No. Well, bye, Hotel's. Hey hot. Thanks for coming to another episode.

SPEAKER_04 21:58

Bye, y'all. No