Ep. 16 : Spring Cleaning

And by spring cleaning I mean throw all my clothes out and buy an entire new wardrobe.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

What's good, y'all? That's right. It's me, Jack, and I'm back with the 16th episode of Run on Sentence. You know what? And another thing. Now we are back in the home studio. Liam's graduation is officially over. He is coming back tomorrow, I believe. It is Memorial Day weekend, the day that I'm filming this. I really shouldn't be filming this right now because I have work tomorrow and it is one, or it's supposed to be one of the busiest weekends of the year for the vineyards that I, you know, in the region that I work in. And it's like almost midnight, and by the time I'm done filming this, it'll probably be one in the morning. And I really want to make a new playlist for work because I'm very happy with the one that I made a couple of months ago that we play very frequently. It is like the perfect playlist for like not just a vineyard, but like any like restaurant retail, I guess. It's like the most perfect, easy listening music. It's called Wine Bar Bops on my Spotify. Check it out, Jack Martin underscore, where you can find the run-on playlist to follow along with all the content corner add-ons each week. But the Wine Bar Bops playlist is actually one of the only playlists that I can listen to pretty much every day at work, and I never get tired of it. Like every song on there just doesn't get old, and I can listen to it at nauseum and not ever, ever, ever want to put something else on. It is just some of my best work, if I do say so myself. So I don't know why I want to mess with it and like make a new one, but I'm just like, you know, feeling the summer energy and like want new, fresh, fun music. So I'm very type A, and when I decide that I want to do something, I will do it until it's done, and I like cannot let up. So unfortunately for my sleep and my future self tomorrow, I do think that after I am done filming this, I will be making a new playlist, probably until like two in the morning, probably later even, and be suffering for it tomorrow. But while I'm suffering, I will be jamming out to the playlist at work. So it'll be it'll be what it'll be, you know. But with that being said, we need to get the show on the road. So I don't go to bed so late. So let's jump right into it. What's new, Jackie Pooh? Well, y'all saw last week I was up in Binghamton, I was celebrating Liam's graduation, and then when I came home, I worked one day and then I was off for a couple of more days just because that was my usual schedule anyway. And I did some thrifting. I hung out with my friend Kayla. Shout out Kayla, you have not been on the pod yet, she will be a future guest at some point, but we chilled on Wednesday with her sister Ashley. Shout out Ashley. I don't think you watched this, but you're here in spirit, and we had our first official beach day of the motherfucking summer. It was like actually wicked hot Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday was pretty warm too, but I mean it was pretty hot, but Wednesday was really brutal, and we were like, we need to be on the beach. We were, of course, really extra with it, and we were only on the beach for a couple of hours because we spent so much time prepping to be on the beach. I went thrifting in the morning before I went over her house, and then once I got there, we were packing the coolers, and then we always have to be extra and bring our inflatable paddleboards down to the beach so we can float, you know, in the water and tan. And we decided to blow them up before we walked down to the beach and then carry them down so we didn't have to like sweat on the beach while pumping them up there. So we did it inside in the AC. But yeah, the beach was lovely. We did try to float on the paddleboards for like half an hour, and I mean the water was pretty cold, even though it was so hot. I mean, it hasn't been hot long enough for the water to like get to a good temperature, but it was still really refreshing. The fucking current, though, in the Long Island Sound was so ridiculous. We were moving way too fast and floating like way too far in like under a minute. I would close my eyes for like two seconds and then open them, and I would be like insanely far from our beach spot. So it was kind of relaxing, kind of not relaxing because of all the paddling we kept having to do to like get us back to a normal spot only to like float away two seconds later. So definitely was worth it, but would have liked to get a little bit more use out of the paddle boards if the current wasn't so strong, but it was still really relaxing. I got some good reading in, we were listening to some good music, then we just went back to Kayla's, hung out, made some ice cream sundaes, had a bonfire, just kiki'd. It was a good old time. But then when I was leaving Kayla's the next day, we actually decided to wash our cars because we they were covered in pollen, and I noticed there was a gigantic crack in my windshield, so that's really fun. I've never had a cracked windshield before. I have to check and see if it's covered on my insurance and I guess get the windshield replaced. It looks a little too big to have that like safe light repair, safe light replace, like little seal, you know, like crack fix. I think it's like way too big for it to be patched up. I think it needs a full change. It's not like super deep where I need to do it immediately, but it definitely needs to get done. It's pretty large, even though it's not like super deep in the glass. So that's a really fun and exciting update that I have to figure out. And then when I got back from Kayla's after washing our cars, I did some beautiful deep spring cleaning in my room. I dusted everything. It is sickening how, and not sickening in like a yeah, sickening way. It is like gross how much dust that my room generates in such a short amount of time. Granted, I have a dog, I have a cat, I have a lot of tchotkis and dust collecting things that it shouldn't be that surprising to me, but it's unbelievable how much dust gets in every single nook and cranny in this room. So I deep cleaned that. I took so many clothes out of my closet that I do not wear and have not worn for over 10 years, probably. And did I get rid of them? No, you know me, hoarder to the day I die, and I just I can't bear to get rid of them. Part of me going to Brimfield kind of like is making my hoarding not worse. I haven't really had much time to make it that much worse. It's only been two weeks, but like when I was taking the clothes out and I was bagging them up to put them in the attic, which is what I ended up doing, I just kept going, like, oh, I should throw this out, but like what if I open like a booth and like a reselling tent at like a brimfield or like a flea market one day? Like, these are perfect to like put up for clothes and sell. Who knows if I'm ever actually gonna do that? I mean, that would be really fun. I did kind of feel inspired to do that while I was there, but it's just like another excuse to enable my hoarding and like keeping things that I do not use or do not need. But whatever, out of sight, out of mind, they're in the attic. I used to have a clothing rack sitting literally right out of frame in between these two bookshelves that are next to me, and it had all of the clothes that I wear on the regular, all of my work shirts, all of my hoodies, some jackets. So I was just looking at it on Thursday and I was like, why do I have this thing taking up space in my room when I need more space for VHSs and DVDs? And this is taking up precious space that I could put a bookshelf and all of this junk, well, not junk, it's very cute clothes, but a lot of this like excess of clothes in my closet that I do not wear is taking up space in there. Why don't I just move all of those clothes, move the clothes on this clothing rack into my closet and get a bookshelf for the space? So that's what I did. And the amount of dust that was under that clothing rack that hadn't been moved in probably eight years. Oh, you know what? Maybe I'm totally lying. I just love to lie. I've only been out of college for four years, and that's kind of when I redid my room and put the clothing rack there in the first place. So, okay, maybe it's only been four years. It was still disgusting how many dust bunnies were under there. I had so many shoes under there too that I haven't worn since college. I finally, I actually did throw some of those out. I was very proud of myself. I threw my Converse out, I threw my Doc Martin's out. I felt like a little sacrilege doing it, but I was like, girl, you need to be so for real. These Converse are shredded and have holes all in them and are like like provide absolutely no foot support whatsoever. And the same with the docks, those are my babies, I've had those since middle school. They, you know, they like fully fueled my like grunge alts phase, and I wore them all through college. But baby, did I wear the shit out of them? All of the like grooves and texture and like grip on the bottom were like completely rubbed off to like they were smooth on the bottom, basically. There was no treads, and the tops were pretty fine. I mean, yes, the leather was a little worn and damaged, but the soles were literally like tearing out the yellow seams, falling apart, so they had to go to the grave. I threw a couple of other pairs of shoes out too that I've just maybe worn once or twice that are just collecting dust and taking up space. But to replace the clothing rack that was there, let's jump into the first item on our hoarder haul. I picked up off Facebook Marketplace yesterday one of the most gorgeous finds I've ever had. I'm a big lover of mid-century modern furniture. Nothing, you know, unique about that. I feel like it's had a big renaissance recently and it is very popular, but I've never bought anything actually mid-century modern because a lot of the true vintage real pieces are so expensive because of how popular they are. And I also just don't have the space for it. So never actually pick something up, but was on Facebook Marketplace the other night and I saw this stunning bookshelf, two shelves. I could tell just by the picture that it was going to be perfect to fit like two rows of DVDs and VHSs on each shelf. So sent that message. She was asking 250. I didn't think it was a real vintage piece because who's charging 250 for a real mid-century modern bookshelf? I figured it was like Crate and Barrel or like Wayfair or something. So I kind of lowballed her. I said, I'll take 150 for it. I'll come pick it up tomorrow. And she was like, I can do 180. And I was like, all right, I'm kind of comfortable with that. Let me come see it in person. So I went to go see her on Thursday, and baby, I turned this bookshelf over. The hardware on it and the screws and the brass fixtures holding the legs onto the base are so old. It is like real, genuine, vintage mid-century modern furniture. I gasped. Well, I didn't let her, I didn't let her see me gasp. I had a really good poker face. I was like, hmm, yeah, I mean, there's a little wear on it, but yeah, I think I'll take it. I think I'll actually give me, give me, give me, give me. Here's the money. So picked that up. It fits perfectly in between the two bookshelves that I had here already. And I filled it up with my VHSs. I finally have a full shelf that I can put all of my horror and Halloween movies on. I had a section like under my bed with them, and it just like there was so many of them. I I love seeing all of them on display and in all their glory. So it wasn't doing it for me under the bed. So finally have a place to put them all in their glory. So I put all those up. Like I said, very type A. As soon as I picked the bookshelf up, I had to bring it upstairs, immediately clean my closet, take everything off the clothing rack, put the clothing rack in the attic, bring the bookshelf up here, clean everything, wipe it down, and then immediately start putting VHSs on it. I like need to finish the vision that I have for something as soon as I have the materials. It is just one of my many talents. Like, you can't stop me. I will pull an all-nighter to see this thing to completion if I have the means to get it done. So once I put all that together, I moved my lava lamp onto it and my little Smisky light. And then I also actually, another update for the Warner Hall. I've got the base to the fairy lamp that I found the top half to at the Brimfield Flea Market. I ordered it last week when I couldn't find it at the Flea. Came in the other day. It looks beautiful. I'm so obsessed with it. So I put that on the shelf also, and I put a little music box that I have next to it. It's like a sun and moon celestial music box. I don't know what song it plays, it's just like a little, little ditty. And today at work, one of the owners of the vineyard that I work at, she also makes candles and diffusers and has like an apothecary line. So she made all of us read diffusers to take home. And I picked up the basil and blossom diffuser and put that on the shelf next to the fairy light today. It is so delicious. It smells amazing. Uh, or as my Australian manager would say, basil and blossom. But then I also really wanted something in the center of those two, you know, clusters of pieces that like warmed up the space. And I decided to get a spider plant today. I picked it up at Home Depot on the way to work. I have never owned a real plant before. I just something about having a plant has always made me nervous. And, you know, I like I don't want to spend the money on it and then kill it and like not take care of it properly. I have my dad did get me a bonsai tree for Christmas one year, and I took pretty good care of it. I mean, you don't really have to take care of it too heavily. You just like soak it in a little basin of water every two weeks. I did eventually fall off, you know, taking care of it, and it is still in my room. It's still held all of its leaves all these years later, but it's like kind of turning brown. I haven't watered it and I can't even tell you when it's been at least two years. Um it's definitely dead, but I just keep it in my room because it still looks nice, but I definitely lacked in taking care of it, which is a big reason I just like have been nervous to get a plant because I don't want to spend the money on it and then ruin it. But I caved and I picked up a spider plant today. It looks so cute on the bookshelf. It is exactly what I envisioned, and it's exactly what the shelf needed to like complete the look. So super, super happy with that. And of course, I had to pick up some VHS's to fill this new beautiful bookshelf with. So I picked up Hair, the movie recording of the musical. I have never actually watched Hair the Musical or the movie all the way through. I love the music from the musical and had to pick it up when I saw it. I also picked up Boys Don't Cry with Chloe Seveny. I have heard, you know, great things about this movie. I mean, it's of course a little controversial, like a cis woman playing a trans man, but I mean it won a bunch of Academy Awards. It was very groundbreaking for its time. It's a very, you know, sad, hard, heavy story, but I just love anything Chloe Sevene, so I had to grab that. And then I also found Goosebumps The Haunted Mask 2. I do have the Haunted Mask one. I do like Goosebumps. I did like it more as a kid. I watched a Goosebumps episode or movie a couple of years ago, and it does not hold up the way that some other children's movies and shows hold up. Like, you know, most times I feel like you know, Halloween town or something like that, or Twitches, you can watch it as an adult and go, okay, no, this still slaps. Like there's some hidden adult comedy in there, and like even though like not all of it is for an adult audience, like you can still watch it through adult eyes, and besides the nostalgia, appreciate it like as a decent film. Goosebumps for me, like did not hit that way. It was like very corny, it was very cheesy, but I still like have a sweet spot for it in my heart. So I picked that up. It was listed at the thrift store for $6.99. I said, You got me fucked up. I am not paying more than $2 for a VHS at a thrift store. So you bet your ass. I carefully peeled the $199 sticker off of a different VHS and placed it so unclockable and seamlessly over the $5.99 sticker on the Haunted Mask 2 VHS. So maybe I got that shit for $199. I didn't steal because I still paid for it, but I paid the correct fair price for it, not the scalping $6 price that they were trying to charge. No, no. And we got a couple good DVDs this week. We found The Nanny season three on DVD. I picked up seasons one and two a couple of weeks ago, so we are growing the series collection. And I also found another Spongebob compilation. It's 10 episodes. It's called Nautical Nonsense and SpongeBuddies. It is like the classics, though. I had to pick it up. I thought that the other ones that I found a couple of weeks ago had some classics on there. And like, yes, what Spongebob episode isn't classic, but this one that I found this week has like the classics. It's the hash slinging slasher episode, it's the like who smells episode where they have the bad breath. It has like the hard hitters. So was very happy about that. And the last DVD I found was Hellbound Hellraiser 2. This is the first Hellraiser movie that I have found a physical copy of. So starting my Hellraiser collection. I do love Hellraiser. I love Pinhead. I love as you, you know, first episode of the pod. If you were watching on YouTube, you saw my Pinhead shirt. I love the Centibytes. I love the SFX makeup and like the production design and the campiness of the Hellraiser universe. While I can admit the movies are a little like clunky boots, like they aren't the best storylines necessarily, and they're like a little rough around the edges. Everything else about them is just so camp and everything to me. I just I do love the Hellraiser universe, so I'm very happy to finally have one in my collection. And now that I have the one, I have no resistance to it, and more will flow into my experience. So I'm very much looking forward to finding more Hellraiser movies. And we found a pretty good handful of CDs this week. Nothing crazy. We finally found Fly by the Dixie Chicks. I have been looking for Fly for months and months and months, ever since I decided to start growing the CD collection. I have seen Fly pretty much every time I go to the thrift store. It seems to always be on the shelf, but every copy is so scratched and such a nightmare that I've just never been able to buy one. I it's just not worth it. Even if like the tiniest scratch is on there, that album is too good, and there's too many great songs where like I don't want any songs scattered. So I finally found one in perfect condition. So finally picked that up. I also found Train's first album. They're self-titled. I don't really like I said it a couple of weeks ago when I found another Train CD. Like they are not one of my all-time faves from that early 2000s music era, but like they are classic, they have that sound, they're nice to have to like put on in the background. But like the only notable song of theirs that I listened to is Drops of Jupiter, which like who doesn't? That was such a moment. I think it was like one of the first songs I learned to play on the piano, actually, was Drops of Jupiter. And you know, I just figured I'd pick it up because it's some good, you know, cooking background, like easy listening, early 2000s music. And speaking of early 2000s music, I also found Tragic Kingdom by No Doubt, one of their best works. And then I also found 15 by Buck Cherry Fire Fire album. And to close off the CDs, we found Let's Dance by David Bowie. This is my first David Bowie CD. I love David Bowie. I don't think I've talked about him on the pod at all. Uh he was actually his Aladdin Sane image was what was on my high school graduation cap. I made like a construction paper, like layered collage of it. And he was actually my senior quote, also. It's I don't know where I'm going from here, but I promise it won't be boring. So hopefully I've lived up to that, to that quote. Uh, but yeah, David Bowie means a lot to my little gay heart. He is so iconic, he is such a groundbreaking artist, or I guess was. I still I talk about him like he's still here. No, uh, well, I mean, he really is. Like his work lives on so fiercely. I just love all of the visual artwork that he's created, all of his music, his acting. Bitch, Twin Peaks Fire Walk with me. I mean, he's in it for like a couple of minutes, but he's just one of the greatest to have ever walked this earth. And I don't even know what to say about him. He just is so groundbreaking, so inspirational, so creative. What a force of creative nature. He was just untouchable. So love you, Bowie. But that's it for the Hoarder Hall. So let's jump into the content corner. The first song in my content corner is gonna have to be folk song by the Sundays. Liam made me put this song on when we were driving back and forth from the Airbnb that my parents were at. And baby, I forgot how good this song is. Just that whole album. I mean, summertime folk song. There's just like banger after banger on that album. The Sundays just do it for you every time. They just have such a unique quintessential sound that nobody else even comes close to. It is just the most good feeling, like euphoric music, and folk song has just been really ridiculously stuck in my head all week. So gotta give it up for the Sundays. I've also been heavily listening to Out of This World from the Xenon Z3 soundtrack. When I was working on Monday, my coworker Kat, Shout Out Girl, she put on like the like 90s, early 2000s after school Spotify playlist, which is like all the TV show music. And this did not come on. I just like listening to all that music made this song like crawl out of the deep recesses of my brain. And I was like, oh my god, oh my god, we need to put on Out of This World from Z3. And maybe we got down in the tasting room. I am now hard set on my next manifestation for VHS finds. I want to find Xenon on VHS. There's it definitely was put into VHS production at some point. I don't think Z3 was. Or at least I haven't been able to find any online to reference, but the first two movies definitely had some VHS' produced. So, Universe, if you're listening, help me find any of the xenons on VHS at the thrift. Thank you so much. Love you, Diva. And I've also been loving Thank You by Bonnie Rait. Again, just like really high vibrational, easy listening, groovy, 60s, 70s sounding, just bliss and joy. I love Miss Bonnie Raitt. I mean, all of her music catalogs across the decades is just like so beautiful and gorgeous. But those early days, man, like there was just something in the water of that era that just produced some of the most raw, like rich vocals and instrumentals. And thank you is just one of those one of those greats. And while I was cleaning my closet the other day, I put on a tonic C D and boy did I forget how good of a song If You Could Only See by Tonic is. It slaps every time. That's another one I could probably play it on loop and just not get tired of it. It's that again, also a great, like high-energy, sort of rocky song to play, like in a work environment, like at a tasting room or a restaurant. Like it's angsty and it has a little bit of like grit and grunge to it without being actual like rock and grungy, like it fits in a space that like wouldn't be appropriate for that sound while still having a little bit of that sound. I love it. Well, that's it for music for TV. We have been heavy into bones. I finished season one of Bones, I flew through it. I kind of was a little skeptical when I started it that it wasn't gonna be that good, and I was just being a hater. It is everything I wanted it to be, so I'm very happy I was wrong that it wasn't gonna be good. I just started season two last night. It's definitely become my new, like easy watching, binging show. So shout out bones, these all bones. And I've also been watching a little bit of that 70 show while I'm cooking on my little kitchen TV. I've been watching season three of that 70 show. That's just like the I have seasons one through eight, I think, on DVD. And like season three was just the one I grabbed from the garage the other day when I bought the TV and put it in the kitchen. So I've been watching that. I have not talked about that 70 show. What a classic! And again, super easy watching, like it just is the best energy, it has the quippiest lines, the acting is impeccable, the fashion is everything. And baby, you just can't touch Ashton Kutcher. I don't know if he's problematic or not. I really don't know anything about who he like became after Punked, but like, oh my god. Ashton Kutcher at that age, who who else is who else was doing that and who else is doing it like that? Nobody. He's like maybe the hottest person with like the sexiest aura to ever exist. I mean, yes, he's playing a fucking idiot and like numbskull in that show, but it's so endearing. It's just that like, ooh, I can't, I can't. Like, it's hard to watch because I'm just like, I actually missed everything that happened in that scene and have no context of what's happening because I was just staring at his beautiful face the whole time. His aura is just like through the roof. But yeah, love, love, love that 70 show. But that's kind of all the TV I watched this week. And I actually watched a movie this week. Me and Kayla, like, kind of watched, but not really. It was like half watching uh The Conjuring Last Rights, the I guess the latest conjuring movie. We were doing some spring cleaning at Kayla's house when I was over there on Wednesday. We did what I did at my house the other day. We cleaned out her closet, took all of her winter clothes out, her dresser put all of her winter clothes in the attic, and then took all of her summer clothes down and hung them. And we threw out a movie in the background, and I just randomly picked the latest conjuring movie. It was the conjuring series, you know. It was like not great. It was just a lot of like cheap jump scares. It wasn't really like chilling at any point. It was just cheap thrills and really, really dark lighting. I couldn't fucking see half the movie when I was even watching it because there was just no lighting. It was really irritating. I just hate that trend in movies right now. It's either like dismal, like awful, awful lighting. And if there is any light or natural light, it's like wicked, where it's like the sun is rising behind you, like backlit, ugly, no saturation, annoying coloring. So really not a fan of that. I understand it's a horror movie. I get that it's supposed to be like dark and sinister. We can turn up the brilliance, we can turn up the contrast, like let's get a little saturation. I want to see what the fuck is going on. I can't be scared if I can't fucking see what's happening in the movie. So, lighting designers, get on it and bring back lighting in movies. Thank you so much, kisses. Well, that's all I got for you for the content corner. So for the next section, I I'm thinking of like doing away with the self-interview section, or at least like the formatting of the self-interview section. Only because I have a new segment in mind that I want to do when I have guests, and that's called the run-on sentence section. So I want to ask guests to give me their run-on sentence and to pick a topic and just run on about it, some petty grievance or some topic that they could just talk about forever and go on and on and on. So that's basically what I do with the self-interview section, anyway. I ask myself a question that I like I know I want to talk a lot about and like have a big opinion on. So it's basically the same thing. So instead of like having a different or having like the same segment, just like titled something different when I'm doing it alone versus like when I have a guest, I feel like that's confusing and stupid. So I think we're going to put to bed the self-interview, if you can't interview yourself, how in the hell are you going to interview somebody else? segment and just really rename it the run-on sentence segment. So what's my run-on sentence for the week? Nostalgia is a virus that is running through our generation right now, and it is robbing us from the beautiful present that is the present moment. The present moment is such a gift. It is literally the only thing we have. There is no past, there is no future, it is right now. The past only exists when we think about the past in the present moment and we are reigniting and reactivating the past. It does not exist, it doesn't have any effect on us unless we give our present attention to it and activate it in our vibration and focus on it. And the future is only determined by our current present thoughts and actions, which turn into future present moments, but the future is not there, so it's all now, now, now, and I've really fallen away from that mentality. I was pretty good about like centering myself for a good number of years, like 2020 to 2023, I would say, 2024-ish, but really like end of 2023. I was really on my shit about we only have right now. There is no point in giving our attention and our energy and our love and our light to past events that you are not getting back, and like wishing you had them is stealing from the amazing moments that you're making now. And I mean, there's no harm in like thinking about good memories, but like there is such an epidemic right now in our generation, I feel, with nostalgia and like yearning for a time that you used to have, and yearning for an era that you used to be in, and a person you used to be, and things you used to have, and you can have amazing things now. It doesn't need to be the same, it can be just as beautiful, it can be just as fulfilling and heartfelt, and you know, like I understand why nostalgia feels good because humans love our creature comforts, and we love things that are like safe and secure. And when you think about things that you know you loved and liked and enjoyed, thinking about them and sitting in those emotions and sitting in those feelings, you know they're gonna feel good because they felt good, and it's scary to like do new things and try new things and be experimental and run the risk of them not feeling those, you know, good, loving, you know, nostalgic feelings of nostalgia. I understand. I am a human, I do it myself. I have also fallen victim to this nostalgia trend of like being upset. You know what I'm talking about. If you're on TikTok, if you're on social media, you know all of the videos. It started like three years ago, two or three years ago, with like the uh like oh, you're it's 2004, and it's the last day before Christmas break, and you know, your teacher is pouring you hot chocolate, and it's like the make the Yule Tide again, like and it's the like photo collage of like kids in school Christmas time, like a bus in a snowstorm, like you know, f Christmas lights. It you know what I'm talking about, and then it turned into the Halloween, and uh, maybe that's really what got me. I was such a Halloween kid to the day I die. I am a Halloween stan through and through, and that really stemmed from my childhood. Halloween was a huge holiday in my family. We had a patch of woods in our backyard, we would get a new Halloween animatronic every year, and we would do like a haunted trail and have a huge party. I love Halloween, and I understand the feeling that they are describing in those videos, those nostalgia videos of like, you know, early 2000s, late 90s Halloween's like bring it back. Like, why doesn't it feel like this anymore? It doesn't smell the same, it doesn't feel the same. Yeah, I get it. I understand. I love that, and I definitely fell victim to that, and I was sitting in those emotions of like, oh my god, why doesn't it feel like this anymore? We had it so good and we didn't know it. Okay, but make it good now. Make it good now, and there's nothing we can do about it. What's done is done. Yeah, it was amazing when it was happening, but by saying that, oh my god, it'll never be like that again, yeah, then it won't because you are limiting your present moment from experiencing new, amazing memories and moments like the ones that you're yearning for. If you're saying, oh, Halloween will never feel like that again, okay, bitch, then it won't. Sorry. Like you have the choice to try and make new memories feel as good as the old ones, even though you know they're never gonna be the same. You can't replicate them. That's the beauty of the present moment, is that it will only be now and it will never be like this again, and that's okay. Like, that's the beauty of life is that it's fleeting, that it's impermanent. The impermanence of life is what makes it worth living. Because guess what? As amazing as that moment was, and that it was in that present moment, and how good it might feel to look back on, it will feel even better in a new moment. A new memory will feel even better to you. Think about how many times something has happened to you, but you're like, oh my God, can it get any better than this? I want to like really savor this moment. Like it's I'm never gonna feel this good again. And then a couple of years down the line, you know, you look back and you go, Oh my god, I'm so nostalgic for that time. Yeah, it'll never be that good again. I feel that way with college sometimes, where I like see videos of me and my friends, and I'm like, oh, why can't it be like that again? But then a couple of more years pass and you have another amazing thing happen, and you go, Oh wow, how is it ever gonna get better than this? Like, history repeats itself, and like you will have new amazing things happen to you. Again, back to the college reference. Then I, you know, I feel that way, and then I go and I hang out with my girls, and we make new amazing memories together, and we do new fun and exciting things. And I'm like, shit, this is we couldn't have done this when we were still in college because we weren't the people we were, we didn't have the money we have, we didn't have the life experience and the, you know, just everything, everything, everything. It is always, always evolving. There's always a next best feeling thing, an experience, an emotion around the corner. I just really personally have been tired of yearning and nostalgia as much as I thought I loved it, and really thought that like I was enjoying the feeling of like reminiscing and looking back on those things and yearning. I really think it's more harmful than it is good in the long run. And I personally feel that it has really been robbing me of seizing the day and seizing this moment and like feeling good now instead of like like wishing I felt as good as I did at a certain point. So that's been a big goal of mine in recent days is focus on what you can do now. You have everything you need to get what you want. Happiness is a choice. If you are not liking the way you are feeling right now, look for something to feel good about. I know that sounds so easy and so oversimplified and like woo-woo and whatever, but it is as simple as reaching for the next best feeling thought. There is always something to look at to make you feel good in a moment, as hard as it may seem. But you just have to go general, go simple. What's your favorite drink? Diet Coke, go have a Diet Coke and really just revel in the Diet Coke and how good it tastes and the bubbles and the you just need to like get easy with it. My bed. Oh my god, just lay in my bed, feel the sheets, feel the comfort, feel the softness, feel the relaxation, all my muscles relaxing, just not you know, releasing all the tension in my body. It's something, something really easy to appreciate. There's always a next best feeling thought and feeling around the corner. While nostalgia might feel good to reminisce on and urn, it's harmful to do too often. Once in a while, sure. Go ahead. Uh in Divas. Go think about that beautiful memory that you have. Again, I I love pictures, I love memories, I love storytelling. I, you know, I do love looking back on the past. The past makes you who you are today. No question about that. But you cannot let that determine who you are going to become. And you know what? I get it. I might be coming off a little hypocritical, and it might seem like, oh, you know, it's easier said than done. I mean, look at me, I collect VHS and DVDs. Like, it's a nostalgic physical media, it's a bygone era. I'm collecting things that are are very nostalgic to me. And the movies that I'm collecting and the shows are from a you know, the love I have from them are from a place of nostalgia and you know, good memories. You know, they're things that I grew up loving or, you know, have had like. For over the years that make me want to get them. I understand that. But at the same time, I am reveling in those things and you know, appreciating them and finding new love for them through a new creative outlet that's been birthed from it, you know, collecting. I love the thrill of the hunt. It's so much fun to like go to the store and be in that present moment and have that like amazing present experience of finding something that you've been looking for on the shelf, having it in your hands, seeing that it's like not scratched or there's no mold on it, and it's in perfect condition, and you can finally add it to your collection. You know, it's a good hybrid of old nostalgic good memories and feelings and present excitement and you know, new vibration and exhilaration. I I just again, I'm human, nobody's perfect. We all fall into the pits of yearning and nostalgia and wishing things were the way they once were at a certain point, and we're all gonna have those ups and downs of not appreciating the present moment. But my goal right now is to really stay in that hyper present, appreciative, grateful place and manifesting more good feeling present moments for the next and the next and the next and the next present moment. So I urge you to do the same. Uh I mean I'm not trying to change anyone's you know thinking or perspective, but for me, I just think we can all maybe yearn for new things, yearn for new and exciting present moments, but we can all do a little less nostalgic yearning and stop letting it steal so much of the present beautiful moment from us. So I'll get off my soapbox now. I need to get going to bed because I got a long weekend ahead of me and I have talked your ear off long enough. Love y'all. Thank you so much for tuning in yet again for another episode of Run on Sentence. This has been I I you know say it like every other week, I feel like, but this has been such a fulfilling thing for me to do. And every week that I do it, I love it even more. And it's something that's really been keeping me present and grounded each week, having this thing to look forward to, filming this and having no distractions and just talking and getting things out of my brain and like sitting in this moment, even with you know, just myself, and then having, you know, days after like sitting and editing this and really, you know, just being absorbed in it and having no distractions again, getting super just like grounded in this podcast has been really amazing, and I love it so much, and I couldn't do it without y'all. I, you know, need someone on the other end listening to me to make this worth it. So thank you, thank you, thank you. Tune in next week for the 17th episode of Run on Sentence, and I'll talk to y'all later. Bye. You know what? And another thing.