The Woman Before Her Changed Everything—And No One Knows Her Name (with Bethny Ricks)

Some of the most powerful women in our lives will never have a platform, a podcast, or a following online. But their influence shapes generations.

That is the heart behind The Women Before Me.

In this episode, I had the privilege of talking with Bethny Ricks, a powerhouse executive coach, speaker, and author of Face Forward: Reclaiming Hope When Everything Falls Apart. Bethny has spent two decades leading global teams and helping companies reach valuations of more than 20 billion dollars, earning recognition as one of the Top 100 African Americans in Business and one of Ohio’s Most Influential Women in Business.

But long before the boardrooms and billion-dollar decisions, there was a woman quietly shaping who Bethny would become.

In this deeply honest conversation, Bethny honors her mother Sheila, a woman whose resilience, independence, and wisdom removed ceilings and modeled a different kind of strength. Together we explore the unseen legacy of mothers, the courage required to keep moving forward when life falls apart, and what it means to lead with integrity when the world expects you to shrink.

Bethny also shares her own powerful journey through corporate leadership, the challenges of being underestimated in high-stakes rooms, navigating burnout and a life-altering health scare, and the hard lessons that inspired her message of facing forward instead of living in regret.

This episode is about resilience, legacy, and the women who quietly shape the leaders we become.

If a woman has made a positive impact on your life, we want to hear her story. Visit svetkapopov.com to leave a voice memo honoring the woman before you.

We can't wait to hear from you.

Links to Bethny Ricks:

https://www.bethnyricks.com

Transcript

The Woman Before Me Project

SPEAKER_05 0:00

What if the most powerful stories shaping our lives are the ones we've never stopped to honor? This is the Woman Before Me. An initiative created to bridge generations and cultures by honoring the woman who left a positive impact in our lives during Women's History Month. Here, you'll get to hear from recognized leaders sharing their stories.

SPEAKER_03 0:22

And so in the best possible life, I have um this model that I use with every client, and I've never shared it publicly.

SPEAKER_05 0:28

And the women who impacted their lives. If your mom was sitting here right now, what would you tell her?

SPEAKER_03 0:33

Okay, let's see if I can think about this without uh getting too emotional.

SPEAKER_02 0:37

As well as compelling storytellers. As the saying goes, when they see me or my siblings are like, oh, that's Sheila's daughter.

SPEAKER_05 0:43

You'll meet mothers, mentors, grandmothers, teachers, and quiet heroes, the woman whose impact was often left unseen. Yet here is the place where it gets elevated. You'll hear stories of lessons passed down, sacrifices made, and what still remains today. You also hear personal voice memos from around the world like this one.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

Hello, my name is Mary Mazakoi, and I am recording from Sierra Leone. I want to honor one of the most important women in my life. My mother. Mama, because of you, I learned how to care deeply for my family, how to stand tall and difficult moments, and how to believe in myself. Today, as a wife and a mother, I see your influence in the way I live my life, the way I love, the way I know my children, and the way I keep moving. All reflex on the lessons that you gave me to my dear mother. You are the foundation of the woman I am today. And through me, your strength continues to live on. I love you. And this one.

SPEAKER_01 2:12

She would actually write me letters all through middle school and high school, even when I was going through hard times and a season of not following the Lord. And just looking back on those letters and her consistent prayer now, I believe, change my life to this day. Thank you, Grandma. Love you.

SPEAKER_05 2:26

You see, legacies create a positive ripple effect on humanity and inspire us to think about our own lives and the impact that we get to leave behind. And here's the most important part. I want to invite you to be part of this meaningful project. Click on the link in the show notes and record a voice memo honoring the woman who made a positive impact on your life. And if you've never experienced that kind of influence, tell us the legacy that you're choosing to give to others. Perhaps it's one that you needed the most. Because it only takes one person, one act of kindness to change a life. Together, let's honor the women who came before us and leave legacies worthy of being remembered.

Meeting Bethany Beyond Titles

SPEAKER_05 3:10

Welcome to the Woman Before Me. Bethany, thank you so much for coming on the Woman Before Me Initiative. And out of all the places you can be, you're spending your time with us. It is just an honor to be here with you today.

SPEAKER_02 3:23

I'm honored to be with you and everyone else. This is one this is a wonderful place uh to be spending my my morning.

SPEAKER_05 3:31

I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, honestly. Well, thank you. And um, I'm curious to know from you before your corporate titles and recognition, who is Bethany?

SPEAKER_02 3:43

Little ornery, very ornery. Uh I could say that. So anyone who knew me young would say, yep, yep, yep. Uh I am the oldest of five children, and my parents have been in ministry since I was probably around four. Um so I have that aspect of my life, and everything they say about the oldest child is true. I've I've never seen a meme or a quote where I go, oh, that's not me. I'm like, nope, that's uh that's absolutely me. Grew up in Ohio. My parents are from the south, athlete, so played basketball, ran track. I'm a climber, so when I was younger, I was a tomboy, is what they called uh girls in the 80s who would climb trees and be in rivers.

SPEAKER_04 4:33

So that was I can identify like let's go, let's do all the fun stuff. Who has to play with dolls? Like, what's that about?

SPEAKER_02 4:40

Exactly, exactly. I was playing football with the boys, so that's kind of that's kind of me when I was young, and anyone who knows me now, it drives. It drives. That's pretty true.

SPEAKER_05 4:50

It drives, yeah. Like, well, I'm also curious with you, from when you think of a woman who helped shape who you are on the Women Before Me initiative, who's somebody that comes to mind for you?

SPEAKER_02 5:04

So I've

Sheila’s Quiet Power And Backbone

SPEAKER_02 5:05

been shaped by so many different women. Uh, so I'd have to do a line in the sand. Um per personally, my mother. Um, I think I am a product of her strength and her long-term vision around allowing me to be um who I was at the time, but also what she saw I was gonna grow into. And so when you're surrounded by a strong woman and strong women, average feels foreign at a very young age. And so I I always felt uncomfortable being quote unquote average and going with the status quo, and a lot of that has to do with my mother and how she raised me and gave me a voice in a very unapologetic way.

SPEAKER_05 5:58

That's awesome because you I mean, when if you follow Bethany Rick's online, you know she speaks the truth and she says it how it is, which is why I was like, who is this woman? I want to talk to her, I want to bring her on the podcast, and I wanna Yeah, that's my mom.

SPEAKER_02 6:12

She made she made resilience uh very normal for not only me but my my siblings and my father backed her with that too. Uh so it was never a uh tension with that, and because of her own confidence, she also allowed me to be surrounded by other very strong women and allowed those women to pour into me. Uh, she was not intimidated uh by that. And sometimes as mothers, we can be we can be a little like ah, this is you know my child and this is the way that I do it, and this is how I but she was not intimidated uh and allowed other women in those teenage years um to pour into me and to guide me and give me wisdom also. And I greatly benefited from that.

SPEAKER_05 7:04

That's such a gift because if you think about raising a kid now, especially nowadays, right? We're it's it's so different from the way that it was, you know, many, many years ago, where we were raised in in villages, multi-generational influence and impact from aunties and grandparents and parents and the adult friends of parents, so to speak, right? And now it's we're a lot more individualistic in our culture, and with that, you have a lot less adult influence and more peer influence, which shapes a very different end result.

SPEAKER_02 7:38

I yeah, I agree. And she, you know, when I think about my mom who I talk to almost every day. That's amazing. So we, yeah, I'm I'm 42 and I I talk to her almost every day. I talk to her more than I talk to my dad, even though it they say that I'm a daddy's girl. Um, but reflecting back now, she she's definitely the one who removes ceilings, and I didn't realize that. So when I would come home and talk about the things I was going through, the things I was struggling with, she did not allow me to be limited by not only my own doubt, but the seeds of doubt that other people were planting. She repeatedly removed those ceilings for me. And so when I was older and would encounter conflict or people saying, this far no further, you can't, you can't do these things. Um, I had just become so used to saying, yeah, yeah, I can't.

SPEAKER_04 8:41

Like who said?

SPEAKER_02 8:43

Who said? Because my mother said that I can't.

SPEAKER_05 8:46

My mom said that I can be anything. I freaking love that. What is your mom's name? Sheila. Sheila. Okay. I want to be sitting here talking to Sheila. We gotta bring her in, you know? Bring her in here. Yeah. And talk to Sheila.

SPEAKER_04 8:58

Like, Sheila, who are you? Teach us the things.

SPEAKER_02 9:01

Yeah, Sheila is a very vibrant woman. On occasion, I will show her on my socials. Uh, she is, I think she, I think my mom is 65 and my dad is uh 66 or 67. I don't know. They're old. And uh, but she she's a she's a pastor's wife, but she has motorcycles and sports cars. So that's that's the world uh that I grew up with. She she's not a traditional pastor's wife. She, you know, she's you know how I say a woman who happens to be married to a pastor, just like someone who happens to be married to a lawyer. And so she was very independent. And so that was awesome to have this independent mother who was also a homemaker, uh, but had her own mind and she still operates that way.

SPEAKER_05 9:53

And so it sounds like she's someone who didn't allow anyone, the society to box her in, and also was like, uh-uh, we're not gonna go by these boxes that the world sets up around us.

SPEAKER_02 10:03

No, I cannot think of now. I'm sure she had her own struggles uh as a mother in her 20s who moved from Virginia to Ohio and all of those things, but I have never in my life seen my mother cower. Not once. Um, I have seen her be mistreated, and I have seen her hold her ground in that mistreatment with kindness and with a very precise delivery. So to be a young girl and actually witness that and not hear about it secondhand is really profound.

SPEAKER_05 10:41

That's beautiful. Did she have a strong mother in her life that taught her that? Or where did her resilience come from? Yes.

SPEAKER_02 10:47

Yeah, her grandmother, my grandmother, uh whose name was Gladys, she passed away in 2017. In August of 2017, she passed away. Uh, but my grandma also very fierce. I come from a long line of fierce, independent women who were also very kind, very warm, and loving. And my mother, like my grandmother, and I'm pausing because I'm like, oh my gosh, I am actually becoming this person too. You'll understand when I finish my sentence. We're mothers to many other people. Wow, that's beautiful. Right? So all weekend, you know, when I was younger on the weekends, other kids would come to our house. My mother would feed them, my mother would give them wisdom, she would correct them, she would do all of these things. Um, and so she has been borrowed by so many over the years, and they still in their 20s gravitate to Sheila. They everyone just loves her.

SPEAKER_05 11:46

What a gift. See, this is why I wanted to do the Woman Before Me initiative, because people know who you are, but not everyone may know Sheila. And here we are talking about Sheila and how she's creating a quiet impact, just like from her home, which any of us can do. Any of you listening can make an impact. You don't have to be an influential person online or where whatever, where your name is recognized. But there's so many people who are leading incredible legacies by just doing the simple thing, by loving people from wherever they are, what the resources they have. And that is so beautiful because we the world needs more people who are like Sheila.

SPEAKER_02 12:26

Oh, absolutely. I mean, I very much so inherited my mother's backbone. And in the local community, I did, I did. She is a fierce woman, but if you were to meet her, she's very quiet. She doesn't say a whole lot. Um her children are the opposite. We talk all the time. Um, but in the local community in this area, the, as the saying goes, when they see me or my siblings are like, oh, that's Sheila's daughter. It's just because of the way we walk and the way we carry ourselves, and the just, you know, we are not, I went through a divorce and I was asked once, how did I, I'm putting this in quotations, if you can't see me, overcome. How did I overcome that? That the trauma of everything. And my response has always been, I'm Sheila's daughter.

SPEAKER_05 13:19

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 13:20

I'm I'm I I have my mother's backbone, I have her resilience, I have her spiritual death. And though you don't see her very much and she doesn't say a whole lot, she is a force to be reckoned with and is a really good example of you don't have to have a microphone or a video camera to have an impact uh on your children and to have an impact on your community. And you also don't have to, and I don't mean this in a negative way, it's just counter to what we see right now. Um, you don't have to be in the kitchen baking bread all the time. Uh, you can have a motorcycle and a sports car and go on your girls' trips, and your kids will still grow up and be wildly successful and very happy, and still raiding your refrigerator at 42 years old. At 42 years old. And I'm not kidding, I called last night to talk to her. Uh, and my brother and his wife and their daughter were over at the house, and I'm like, what is everybody? She's like, I made dinner, and Norland's probably gonna go in my freezer and take, you know, some food. Like, just like a I'm like, okay, yeah, we're still doing it. We're still raiding my parents.

SPEAKER_05 14:33

That is awesome. But uh, but you're so right, you know, you don't need the microphone. And I think in our in our culture today, unless you're someone who people know and recognize, right? It's kind of there's there's this level of important scale, so to speak, right? Your influence and blah, blah, blah. But the reality is that is that is untrue. That's so untrue. And um, and I just I love that. Like I really want to talk to this Sheila. I want to talk to your mom. She'll go rape her fridge, you know, go in there and just sit at the table. See, you know, my mom was also like that. Where when my friends came over to hang out with me, they would end up on the table with my mom having tea. She would tea was her thing. She would whip out things and whatever she had in the house. I mean, she was a great cook too. But if you have a last second guest, she had a whole separate pantry for tea things, you know, cookies and biscuits and whatnot that we weren't allowed to touch, of course. Um, but they were there for the guests. And so as soon as anyone walked in, the whole table, it was like magic. She was like Mary Poppins with hospitality, you know, whipping it all out. And I'm like, hey, my friends, don't you guys want to come hang out with me? And they're like, Oh no, we're good. We like your mom, you know?

SPEAKER_04 15:41

And it was like, wait a minute.

SPEAKER_05 15:43

My friends, yes. And it's like, and my mom was just sitting there listening to them. Yeah, she wasn't just, you know, loud and and trying to tell them what to do in any way or shape or form, but she just she was just present with people.

SPEAKER_02 15:56

Yes, very present. And she saw them. She they see them, you know, they see them and there's no performance.

SPEAKER_05 16:03

And I think that that's a beautiful thing. It is because to be in a presence of someone and not feel judged no matter what you do or you know, whatever you're you wherever you're in, especially if you're a teen and you're making some poor choices and to sit across an adult woman who's like, you're gonna be okay, kid, you know, like not even saying that, but just hearing you and allowing you to be your true self and to see you, which is such a gift. Such a gift. Yeah.

Corporate Rise And Private Collapse

SPEAKER_05 16:30

I agree. So I want to get to know you too, and I want the audience to get to know you. You wrote this amazing book called Face Forward and um which is about reclaiming hope when everything falls apart. So if you had a very, very difficult season in your life, and I'd love for you to let us in on that because I want the guests not only to know your mom or the woman who impacted you, but also your story because I think it helps us to have context of who are you talking to and who's this person?

SPEAKER_02 16:58

Why does she why does she have her early? What's going on?

SPEAKER_04 17:01

Exactly. You know it.

SPEAKER_02 17:03

Um so I wrote the book kind of does two parallels. It is tells a little bit about my corporate rise. And uh at one point I was the youngest um African-American executive in the country for a public company. And so you have that and everything that comes with that leadership, decision-making pressure. And then at the same time, there's this other parallel that's happening where my marriage is falling apart. I'd been married for 10 years. It was an abusive marriage, and that was happening in private. So, for those who are like, where is this mother you just spoke about? Uh, well, I did not tell her uh because Sheila would have handled that. Um so just so everyone knows, let the record show. Uh Sheila, nor my my dad, my family was not really aware of a lot of what was happening. They had their spidey senses. Uh, but so the the book is a little bit about that journey of understanding and the mistakes and how many times my life fell apart in putting it back together again, and the difficulty and the complexity that comes with getting back into the driver's seat of your life and not depending on other people to do it for you. Uh and it was it was hard. It was difficult to learn in a difficult uh process, especially being a leader. Uh it it it was hard. And so that that's that's the nuts and bolts of that of the book with a lot of lessons and a lot of takeaways, um, no matter what phase you are in your life. So even if you're not going through a divorce, it's still it still works for you. Even if you're not a leader in the corporate space, it still works because for me, lessons should go ditch to ditch and should not be niche. If wisdom becomes niche, uh to me, that's pretty problematic.

SPEAKER_05 19:10

Yeah, and did you always see yourself as a leader? Because that is quite the position to have, right? Being the first. And there's a lot that comes with that, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:21

Um, I I would say no, I did not. Uh so the other woman who had a significant impact on my life, it who the book is dedicated to, so uh is Denise, who was my boss and mentor, and she's the one who promoted me to SVP and also named me as her successor. And she saw all of this raw potential and really molded me into the leader that I am today. So she took what my parents had done in my personal life and really watered those seeds and turned me into a force to be reckoned with. Uh, and I'm I'm forever grateful for that. But I had to step, I kind of followed her steps in that way because I I was perfectly fine being, you know, kind of under the radar and not being in the forefront because there's there's a lot of pressure with being in the forefront. And I I don't really I don't mind pressure, but people annoy me. There she said it. They do, because I'm, you know, let me let me say let me say it, let me say it differently. I was not gifted with patience. Right? So not having patience and not liking to repeat yourself and being thrust into a world of a team of hundreds of people, you know, you gotta, I made a couple missteps, but you know, she helped me out.

SPEAKER_05 21:00

And and really the the public companies, you know, a lot of them are really full of males in the boardroom, right? And mostly white males in the boardroom. So was there um a moment early in your career where you felt or doubted your your sense of belonging in these rooms or what was going on with you internally?

SPEAKER_02 21:22

I'd love to get a little bit of a absolutely and I doubted myself because I was told I wasn't supposed to be there. Yeah. I was told I was a token. I was, you know, um, I was told to my face I was a diversity hire. It's one thing for your for you to be doubting yourself and kind of play that lifetime movie in your head. And that's just like a one-on-one conversation, or between you and all of your personalities, right? It's it's different when someone Is looking at you and telling you in your mid-20s that you are not capable and that you're only here because of X, Y, and Z?

SPEAKER_05 22:14

Yeah, and that's real. So how did you I just want to cut for you to take us to that moment. So you're sitting there across this man who's telling you that, you know, all these things, who's really attacking your identity and who you are, right? Your identity, your character. It's not just saying, hey, this is what you did wrong, let's work on that. How did you deal with that insult that essentially was an attack on your identity and your character to who you were in that corporate realm?

SPEAKER_02 22:43

So a couple of things happened. Um, I'm someone where I'm a mental processor and I go silent when I'm bothered. And so I did that. And then this is why community is important, specifically uh community of women. Then I shared what happened. And in doing that, um, the people who I trust and knew me well reminded me of not only who I who I was, who I am, but also my potential. And by doing that, that was kind of fuel to the fire, right? So then all of a sudden your back goes straight again, your shoulders kind of. You're like, oh, hold on, wait a minute. Hold hold on a second. Who are they talking to? Right? Yeah. Um, and then I really started thinking about what it means to be surrounded by people who force you to shrink. And I've said this before, and I will continue to say it until my last breath. When people are not invested in you emotionally, mentally, or spiritually, they are willing to chop you into bits. They're willing to chop you down. Um, and they are okay with you shrinking. And so conversations like that are not, and I I continue to have some similar conversations depending on the room that I'm in. Um, but those conversations are not an indication of my potential or my value or my worth or the power of my voice. It is truly a reflection of the messenger and the carrier of that message. And so I, to me, it's like, oh, you're showing me that I intimidate you. Why I do not know, nor do I care. That's good. Right? I don't know what I don't care, and I'm not interested in finding out. Um, because statements like that uh really kind of show you where someone's heart posture is towards you as a person.

SPEAKER_05 24:57

Yeah, yeah, for sure. And also people can only give us what they have, right? And so I think sometimes when we expect people to treat us a certain way or for things to go a certain way, they just don't have it.

SPEAKER_02 25:12

You know, they just don't have it.

SPEAKER_05 25:14

Nope.

SPEAKER_02 25:14

That that well is dry.

SPEAKER_05 25:17

Right. And and if you're sitting there expecting it, you it's like you just gotta move on and and figure out how to pull yourself up. And and like you said, community is the key. And we need people to remind us who we are, especially when we're going through a really hard season through difficulty, because I I don't know how people survive without community, honestly. I don't know what I do without my girlfriends.

SPEAKER_02 25:38

I I have no I have no idea, and I know that a lot of people, there are a lot of people who are out here because they don't have community, they will take the bare minimum. So those statements that were made to me uh someone else would translate that into, well, at least I'm in the room. Right? So, well, at least I'm here. And so I won't I this just comes with being in the room. And to that I say, no, it doesn't.

SPEAKER_05 26:10

Hmm. Yeah, yeah, that's so true. Yeah. And so in the middle of you kind of being in this corporate sector, that's when you felt like your life was falling apart. Could you give us an insight into what was going on and how did you come back from that, or what did you do to recover from a really difficult season in your life?

SPEAKER_02 26:32

Yeah,

Burnout, A Hospital Bed, Walking Away

SPEAKER_02 26:33

I had a large global team, and that was really wonderful, and I enjoy it. I enjoyed it. I occasionally miss it now, but you know, it has its own things that come with that. And I was a single mother, so I was going through a divorce and when you know I'd never been through a divorce before. It that doesn't end when you have you know two young children. So I'm the single mother. Um the co-parenting situation was also very complex. I have this really big job. We go into COVID. My corporation uh was considered an essential business, and so we're a global company, essential business, it's round the clock, and I almost have a stroke.

SPEAKER_05 27:24

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 27:25

And my brother takes me, rushes me to the hospital, and I'm admitted. And in that moment, it was really a lot of questions around stress, what I was allowing to happen to me, and what was I willing to sacrifice for success, um, for accolades, because at this time I was really on the rise, so I was getting a lot of awards, a lot of visibility in the corporate world. But for what? For what? To be in a hospital bed on the verge of having a stroke at the age of 36, 37. And so I did something pretty courageous and I walked away from all of it. And I've never been happier, but there was there was also a lot going on personally and having to make a decision, not only for myself, but for my children and for my legacy long term.

SPEAKER_05 28:26

That's such a beautiful point because we could be building our careers on a wrong ladder and just like you said, what is it all for? If it's not meaningful to you, and if it's not, you know, what you feel most connected to your truest self, then then what is it for? Yeah, what is it for? Even like you know, saying if you get these awards and these accolades, yeah, that's great. But at the end of the day, it's great because someone else is gonna think greater of you, right? Like, is it feeding your soul? Is it nourishing your being? Is it really you being true to what you feel the most connected to?

SPEAKER_02 29:01

Yeah. And I think when you're in the thick of it, you don't realize your impact. So when I left, it was the start of 2021, and a few months later, I get an email that I had been nominated and had received the award once again for Ohio's Most Influential Business Woman. And what was profound about that is that is a nomination made by peers. That's not a pay-to-play situation. And I had gone, but my peers in the business world said still influential, still impactful, still deserves this award. And I think that that's a testament sometimes to you can switch positions and still be seen.

SPEAKER_05 29:50

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And with your book called Face Forward, what does that mean to you?

Facing Forward Past Regret Loops

SPEAKER_02 29:57

Not looking through the rearview mirror. I think a lot of times we spend life looking over our shoulder, asking, what if? And so in the book, I talk about standing on the cliff of what if, wondering, not taking, you'll take the first step, but not the fourth and fifth step because the applause is faded. And so then you lose stamina and you start to wonder, should I be doing this? Who am I? What if I had done this? What if I'd stayed in that relationship? Um, and it's about looking forward and not depending on what's happening in the past and leaning on things that have happened before you, like previously. Um having the courage to face forward. It's really easy to look through the rearview mirror and replay the movie and live in that space constantly. Um, that's easier to do than taking a leap of faith. At least for me.

SPEAKER_05 30:55

Yeah. It is. It is. I mean, I think there's there's a lot of emphasis in our culture today on healing, which is great. I think there's it's good that we're paying attention to our internal selves and and to healing. And you know, I think sometimes you have to look at the past in order to make sense of your present and move towards your future. But sometimes we can stay stuck in the past, continuing to relive those negative experiences that have um negatively impacted us or traumatized us in some way. Um at some point we have to move forward.

SPEAKER_02 31:27

Yeah, I s I use I use the analogy of a circle. A circle is the most dangerous shape because you're caught in a loop and you don't realize it. There are no sharp edges. And so when we are so focused on the past and rewriting that story, we're caught in a loop. And if we don't pull ourselves out of it, we can just stay there. Just keep replaying, keep replaying, not healing and not moving forward.

SPEAKER_05 31:55

Was there a lie that you had to confront about yourself or your circumstances in the middle of that hard season? Yeah, yes, even now.

SPEAKER_04 32:06

I confront, I confront lies lies now. I'm somebody who's dealing with the money. She's like, I confront them daily. Let's go. Yeah, I'm like, what are we? What's happening?

SPEAKER_02 32:16

I I I am somebody who deals with uh self-doubt. I all the time. Yeah. And it's a little, it's a little easier, you know, as you get more seasoning and um, I'm not gonna say more confident because I struggle with self-doubt, but I'm also very confident because you're not gonna tell me what to do. You're not gonna tell me who I am. You know, so I also have that part of my attitude. But I I was I struggled a lot with self-doubt, and I can very easily create a scenario to justify that doubt based off of what's going on in the present. Like, and this is why I'm not capable. It has nothing to do with other people, but then if I allow the wrong people in my life to kind of sprinkle on that doubt, and I'm I ugh, oh boy. So I that was that was a challenge then, and it's less of a challenge now because I'm very restrictive around who I allow to make deposits and who I allow to influence the decisions that I make, because not everyone is for you.

SPEAKER_05 33:25

Yeah, that's true. And sometimes that it takes experience to see some of that, especially if you're growing and moving and evolving as a human being. I find that people will initially be like, Yeah, we're so excited for you. God, Bethany, you're awesome. And then as soon as they actually see progress, it's like, wait a minute, wait a minute. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, now you're a reflection of the things they're not doing or mirrored in some way, and and that brings up insecurities. And suddenly you have a lot less people that are truly genuinely want you to succeed. And sometimes I find that I don't know if this is true in in your experience, but a lot of times the people who are further than you will never, you know, the people who know what it takes to build multi-million dollar companies are not gonna be the ones that are gonna be hating on you for trying to do that, right? It's it's interesting because the friends that are further than you are gonna continue cheering you, and the ones that are kind of not evolving, they're the ones that are gonna see that as resentment in some way and yeah, and criticize.

SPEAKER_02 34:28

My whole thing is the only time you catch me looking down is when I'm extending my hand to another woman. That's the only time that is the only the only time you will catch me looking down is to extend my hand to another woman. And that is to not just bring her up to my level, because who am I, but I will allow her to stand on on my shoulders. I uh in terms of my career as a leader, and what I tell people is a true test of a leader is how many people have been promoted over them. I this whole like we're all family and we're all friends, great. You have a team. How many of those people have not left you because they couldn't be promoted, but went on because of your investment to be promoted above you? So I have countless women who went on to be heads of HR who worked for me at larger organizations than what I worked for.

unknown 35:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:30

And they still call me, you know, to this day, but I also have people who work for me who will never speak to me again. And that's fine. So, you know, I'm very honest about who I am. You know, there's no hypocrisy over here. Um but but I think that we we as women who have achieved a certain level of success, not only in business, but also in our personal life. Um, whether it be in a stable marriage or in how you're raising children, we're married, whether married or single, reaching down and bringing other women along with you, not to say, you know, I'm better do it like me, but to come up here where the air is thin. Come here and do it your way and then continue to propel forward.

SPEAKER_05 36:22

That's beautiful. What

Mentoring Women With Direct Truth

SPEAKER_05 36:24

do you find when you're mentoring women? Um The people who have a hard time believing in who they are and seeing them the greatness within them. How do you speak to them? Or or how do you go about allowing them to see what they don't yet see in themselves?

SPEAKER_02 36:44

I speak directly to it. So I will uh I have a consulting business and I spend a lot of time coaching women up. And I what I when I say I speak directly to it, I speak directly to the strength, but I also call out the gap. So there's no hesitation with saying, you're dealing with doubt right now. Here is why I believe you're dealing with the doubt. You tell me why you're dealing with it. And then we go from there and kind of set a plan around how do how do we make sure this doesn't happen again? Or you're dealing with fear, or you're dealing with anxiety, and who told you that you weren't capable? Who told you that you couldn't do this? It's not that you're not capable, you just don't have a plan. It's not that this isn't working, it's just that uh you're not patient and you're inconsistent. So sometimes we just have to like speak to the thing and not speak around the thing. That can be presented as harsh, which is why I don't publicly talk about my consulting, because they're like, ah, I because I'm very direct with it. But I think we need that. I think we need someone to say in a loving way, here's the thing you're dealing with, now let's make a plan around it. Hopefully that answers your question.

SPEAKER_05 38:00

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I think too, sometimes there are people that have life has beat them up so much, right? And they just have such a hard time seeing themselves outside of their current situation or their identity where they're currently stuck because we are who we are based on, you know, it's like our mind has been programmed to whatever up until today. And sometimes it's it's hard to allow people to see the value in their worth and their greatness when they they just they've never been spoken, it's never been spoken into.

SPEAKER_02 38:38

Yeah, they've never had anyone not only pour into them in a consistent way, uh, but there's also something to being open-handed with your own story. Now, there are parts that of my story I'll never share publicly. I don't have to. Right. But I am also very open-handed with what my struggles are and where I fall short. And there is connection in that. That this person talking to me and pouring out is doing it from a place of understanding and not from a posture of better. Of like, oh, I know what you're feeling because I felt that. I know what you're going through because I've I've been through that. Not in a comparison in like you need to get over it, but I'm sitting with you and I will sit with you in this blazing sun for as long as needed until you're ready to get up. And if you keep sitting there, I'm gonna throw you on over my shoulder and carry, you know, because again, I'm impatient. So, you know, we get to we'll talk about it for a little bit, then it's like, you know what, I'm let me carry you a little bit, which is also okay. Yeah. Um, we need people who can see around the corners for us. We can't see and do everything. And that's okay, that's okay to say, I actually can't see what you see. Okay, well, why don't you lean on what I see and trust me, which is why it matters who is making a deposit and who is, you know, speaking into your life. Lean on me, trust what I see until you believe it yourself. I got all the fuel in the world for you. Not a problem.

SPEAKER_05 40:24

Oh, that's beautiful. I love that. What do you hope a young woman says about you 30, 20 years from now? Like, oh yeah, I worked with her, or I was quaked by her. Um, man.

SPEAKER_02 40:42

That I was kind and that I listened. In a world that is really loud and noisy and everyone has an opinion, that I listened and I was kind. Um that that would be my hope because that's that's the soil and the watering ground for real real change. Do you have someone who will listen to you? And do you have someone who responds in kindness?

SPEAKER_05 41:13

Yeah, that's really good. What would you say is the legacy that you're intentionally building?

SPEAKER_02 41:24

Probably a legacy of hope amidst a storm. So no matter what you're going through, that you can still be hopeful. And that doesn't mean that you don't disregard the hard and you don't have to disregard the struggle. Uh, you don't have to monetize your hope, and that God doesn't care about all that. Um that's that's what I'm building. And I want women, specifically for women, I want women to be courageous in their own right. And what I mean by that is not looking at what someone else does and say, okay, I want that because that'll make me happy, that'll you know, create stability for my family, but saying, this is what I want because I know myself and I know what I'm passionate about, I know what I'm capable of, and I'm gonna I'm gonna fight for that, I'm gonna build that. Whatever that is. It doesn't have to be a business thing, it can be it can be whatever you want it to be, and be confident in that. Um that's that's what I'm building and and doing that with deep roots of faith. I can't disregard my my deep, deep faith um in Christ. And so I think that is that's probably how I would answer that question at 42, almost 43 years old.

SPEAKER_05 42:46

Yeah, and you said something very interesting that I want to explore a little bit more is not monetizing hope. Tell me what you mean by that.

SPEAKER_02 42:54

Oh, the monetization of hope, which is you know, one of my we live in a time, it's a pet peeve of mine. We live in a time where I feel the faith space sells what it has been freely given to them in America.

SPEAKER_05 43:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 43:10

And she said, oh, she said, oh right? So it's sell your trauma, um, sell scripture that's in the Bible for free. Uh, create a high-ticket conference. Um it's the monet monetization of the hope that is freely given by Christ. That is living water. He's a living water numbie. But everything's about it's a billion dollar, multi-billion dollar industry. Now, see, I'm a business person. So when I see things, I look at them through a business lens. So I'm like, oh, that's really interesting. I was at a publicly traded company. All we did was Wall Street things, you know, quarter to quarter. So it's it's It's the money getting in the way of freedom.

SPEAKER_05 44:04

Yeah. That's well said. I couldn't agree anymore. Biggest pet peeve of mine. There could be a whole podcast on this, a whole episode just on this, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:19

I it is one of the reasons why, you know, I have my consulting and speaking arm, but I absolutely say yes to in speaking arm for businesses. But when it comes to faith, I I say yes to yes to women, and it's not because I want, I don't even post the cop women's conferences I speak at. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, but I never want people to feel like they have to pay to be free from their whatever they're struggling with or to get reprieve. And I'm sure there's an argument for it. You know, well, you know, we're running a business and we're okay, that's cool. Whatever. Work out your own soul, soul salvation with fear and trembling.

SPEAKER_04 45:10

See, this is this is why I like her. She says it how it is.

SPEAKER_02 45:16

You know, I mean, hey, that's my that's my conviction. But you, yeah, it is what it is.

Resilience Practice And Defining Success

SPEAKER_05 45:23

Yeah, and so in your book, too, you talk about how resilience is not something you're born with, but it's something that you practice. Can you tell us a little bit about that?

SPEAKER_02 45:32

Yeah, you we're not, we're not. I I think there's this thought process that okay, this person is resilient because that's just in their bones and in their blood. But it's really something that you have to practice and you have to try. And that looks like going beyond the first sap-sucking step. Right? Like, okay, I'm gonna do the thing. Okay, do the thing. But what if I fail? And what if you do fail? Failure is not a person, it is the result of trying. Yeah, it's one plus one equals two. And then guess what? If you fail, you have data and information that you can apply when you try again, and that is building resilience. Um, that's how I built it. I mean, that's how my mother built it. That's how my father built it. Um, that's how my children are building it right now. It's not because, oh, my mom is this, this, and this. It's like, no, it's because they are failing at things, and I'm allowing them to do that. And then they're, what did you learn? Now go do it again. Go do it again.

SPEAKER_05 46:46

Yeah, I once heard an interview with Kobe Bryant, and he was talking about someone was asking about failure, and he's like, What is failure? That's an illusion. Like, so you fail on Monday, you you start on Tuesday, you you learn something from that, and you keep going. Like, who said this is a failure? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:02

And and that's somebody else decided that.

SPEAKER_05 47:04

Right.

SPEAKER_02 47:06

I I remember when I signed the book deal with Face Forward, and you know, there are all these metrics because it's a business, which I have so much respect for as someone who's uh a senior executive. But I told my agent, I said, I will decide what is success to me. I'm not letting someone else decide that for me. I'll decide that. And it was like, well, what I said, that's fine. I wasn't in the I wasn't in the meeting for that decision. And so that's not my decision, and I'm not owning that decision. This is what I own. And so we really have to harness what we are in control of and what we are not in control of. And we actually get to decide what success looks like in our day-to-day life. We get to decide that.

SPEAKER_05 48:03

Right, rather than allowing someone else's opinions essentially like lead to how you curate your life.

SPEAKER_02 48:10

Yeah, which people find very irritating. They you will you will definitely run into a wall and run into feedback in quotations when you aren't doing things a certain way. But I don't care. It is my life. And it's not even about okay, well, you don't pay any bills here, because even if you did pay bills here, I'm still gonna do what I want because it's my life.

SPEAKER_05 48:38

Yeah, that's good advice right there. Yeah, that's good advice right there. Well, Bethany, I really want to honor your time and um I just want to ask a few more questions from you. Sure. If you were sitting across a man or a woman today who's listening and who may be struggling with self-doubt or insecurities, um, what would you say to them? Because you've, you know, with your book and your work and your experience and everything, I feel like you have a lot of depth to speak from.

SPEAKER_02 49:10

So what would I say?

SPEAKER_05 49:14

Maybe someone who's struggling with hope because that is you know, they're um just facing something that maybe they feel like hope's been knocked out of them and they're just facing a difficult situation.

SPEAKER_02 49:29

I would probably say I would probably if I were sitting with if I were sitting with someone who is struggling with all of that, um, I'm closing my eyes because I'm thinking It's okay. Um I'd I'd likely tell them one that you don't need uh anyone's permission to endure. Sometimes we're waiting for someone to tell us to someone else to tell us to move forward or that it's you know, and and that you don't need a special person or some kind of nod to to endure. And then on the other side of that coin would be and you can overcome the thing. I'm saying the thing because I don't know what the person is going through. You can overcome the thing, but it's going to take time. We live in a push-button microwave society that runs on a 24-hour clock, but to root out the lack of um, to root out the doubt that you have, to root out these feelings of rejection, to learn how to replay the movie in your head, to find the strength to pick hope up again after you've been dropped by people, and sometimes feeling like you've been dropped by God. That takes time. And it also requires effort on your part. And so, that's a comma, um, what that looks like in action is not just believing in yourself, but all but creating a vision around what you want and surrounding yourself with people who not only applaud your effort, but also pour into and hate help stabilize what you're trying to do.

SPEAKER_05 51:35

That's beautiful. That's what I would say. Is there anything else you'd love to leave the listener with before we wrap up?

SPEAKER_02 51:45

No, I think that's a you know, a great, a great ending. I I enjoyed the conversation and I really am passionate about um people and women, again, women specifically, just having the courage to face their own battles day in and day out. Whether it's you know in relationships with children, um but but having that strength to be like, yeah, I can I can do this today, and then tomorrow, I can do this, and then the next day, I can no, I can do this, and in being okay with leaning uh on other people to get it done.

SPEAKER_05 52:35

Do you have a certain mantra that you use throughout your day or to keep you moving forward?

SPEAKER_02 52:46

It's probably not a a mantra, but whenever I'm feeling weak or uncertain, I pay attention to where I'm leaning. Um in terms of am I trying to do this by myself? Um have I talked to anybody? Like that's it, it it feels simple in nature, but I think a lot of us know that when you get in your own head and you feel just weak in your in your being and weak in your mind, uh, the first question I I kind of ask on a regular basis is like, okay, where am I leading? Which is also scripturally based, you know, lean not on your own understanding. Um so that's that's kind of the the mantra I live by.

SPEAKER_05 53:34

Yeah, because our mind, if we're spiraling negative thoughts, right, it will find evidence for that will back that thought up. Whatever that thought is, it's always just looking for evidence so you can continue to snowball into self-sabotage over something, and it will find additional evidence to back that up. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, Bethany, this has been so lovely. I really enjoyed having a face-to-face conversation here virtually. Um, but seeing you and talking to you after reading just your incredible posts and your raw and real thoughts, I love that. And continue to shine your light, continue to just um yeah, operate in your true self and who you are. And I love what you bring to the world. I think more people need more Bethany's and Sheila's, and your grandma's name is Gladys, right? Yep. All right, got that right. Okay, where is the best place that people can find you?

SPEAKER_02 54:32

Uh

Where To Find Bethany And Join

SPEAKER_02 54:33

I am on, I have my own website. Um, so for speaking engagement and podcasts there, so BethanyRicks.com. There's no A in my name, uh B-E-T-H-N-Y-R-I-C-K-S. So my website, Instagram or on Substack. So I do long form writing on Substack, all under Bethany Ricks.

SPEAKER_05 54:54

Yeah, which it kept autocorrecting me every time I typed your name. I'm like, man, this girl probably struggles with this every day.

SPEAKER_02 55:00

Every, all the time. And then when I'm when I go to do speaking engagements or come to an event, they will they'll go, oh, it misspelled your name. I'm like, no, that's that's how I that's that's but how my parents spell my name is Bethany with a knee.

SPEAKER_05 55:18

Well, thank you. Really appreciate your time. No, thank you for having me. This is the woman before me. I want to invite you to be part of this meaningful project. Click on the link in the show notes and record a voice memo honoring the woman who made a positive impact on your life. Together, let's honor the woman who came before us and leave legacies worthy of being remembered.