Beyond The Brushes: Feat Malik Hill

Tonight's conversation is about layers.... Not just the ones you see on a canvas.. but the ones people carry. Because sometimes the strongest people... have the most to say, but say it without words. And tonight, we're sitting with someone who has lived discipline,pressure, transformation and turned it into art. Joining us is artist Malik Hill.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I'm the one in niggas fear on the low ski. Heard her talking like we peers, but they grossly mistaken and it's played. Crocking down tears, niggas know I'm on a tear that they don't see. My dogs only shed tears and emojis. We in another hemisphere splitting proceeds. I dare a nigga rub his hands on this trophy. I vividly remember who was there. Niggas tip my line when they want some. That's a dub that ain't love if it costs something. Niggas tip my phone up when they need something. I can't recall a time when you gave me some. Chopped off the top, nigga. I cheap so good, y'all.

SPEAKER_06 0:43

What's good? Welcome back to another episode of Smoke in My Eyes. It's your girl Goddess. Thank y'all for tuning in to another episode. I appreciate everyone for showing me so much love and support and sharing. And do not forget, we are on all streaming platforms. Um, we are growing our family. Thank you for all the downloads, all the shares, all the constructive criticism, all the things. Um and tonight's episode is um, if you guys have noticed, I'm getting more into a lot of the creative things that I like, um, the arts, music, and things like that. Um, so tonight we are getting into the art aspect of it. And I'm happy to have the guest that we have tonight. He is an amazing painter. And when I say amazing, listen, I'm gonna let him do the talking. But tonight's conversation is about layers, not just the ones that you see on a canvas, but the ones that people carry. Uh-huh. Because sometimes the strongest people have the most to say, but they say it without words. So tonight we're sitting with someone who lives with discipline, pressure, and transformation. And they turned it into art. So without further ado, we have a Jersey native in the building. He is an army vet, and he is a painter. And I'm pretty sure he's gonna tell us some more miraculous things. But let's give Malik Hill a round of applause.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

What's going on? That was actually deep. That was real deep.

SPEAKER_06 2:31

Everybody says it was dumb.

SPEAKER_01 2:32

That was deep layers. Ooh, that was good. That was good.

SPEAKER_06 2:37

You like how I mixed that up like that?

SPEAKER_01 2:39

Yes, and you sold me.

SPEAKER_03 2:42

You sold me.

SPEAKER_06 2:45

We are not gonna start this episode like this. We're not, we're not gonna do it.

SPEAKER_02 2:51

How are you doing, sweetheart?

SPEAKER_06 2:52

I'm doing amazing. Thank you so much for joining me this evening. How are you?

SPEAKER_02 2:59

I am I am well today. You are today is a better day. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 3:04

Awesome. And well, I'm happy I caught you on a good day. And it's about you. Tonight is about you and people getting to know you, not only the artist, but as the man. Um, because before you are an artist, you were a man, okay? Absolutely. Um, so let's talk about you and tell us something.

SPEAKER_02 3:25

Let's talk. Um, I mean, you generally hit the basic stuff in the intro. Um, Jersey Native, born and raised in DC, um, painter, photographer, illustrator, um, art artistic director with photography. Um I doodle sometimes, you know. Um uh I instruct um those who are interested in taking classes with me. Um, mental health advocate. Um yeah.

SPEAKER_06 4:00

Okay, so I feel a little type of way. I didn't know you did all that stuff. When would you go tell me that?

SPEAKER_02 4:07

Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Sometimes I'll be forgetting, man. I got a I got a memory of a squirrel, you know, sometimes.

SPEAKER_06 4:14

It's not of a squirrel. I'm serious. Um, but no, yeah, that's like the way the world, that's like my brain too, child. Please. Um, what was life like growing up in Jersey? Like what part of Jersey are you from?

SPEAKER_02 4:29

Well, um, I was born and raised in DC.

SPEAKER_06 4:32

I know you said DC. My bad, my bad. Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 4:34

No, you're good. Um, but I moved to Jersey my freshman year of high school.

SPEAKER_06 4:40

Oh, okay. All right. And how was that transition for you?

SPEAKER_02 4:45

Uh it was tough. It was tough because um due to my upbringing and things of that sort, I let a I ended up having to leave a lot of things behind that I didn't necessarily get closure to. Um, but it was a necessary move for me and my pops. Um, but it was just, you know, one of those things that I just had to had to had to do, you know.

SPEAKER_06 5:10

Nice, nice. And um are you South Jersey, North Jersey, like what part of Jersey?

SPEAKER_02 5:16

I'm North Jersey.

SPEAKER_06 5:18

North Jersey. I've never not really, I've never like frequent North Jersey. Like, what's it like out there?

SPEAKER_02 5:24

You're not missing nothing. It's literally a store on every corner. Um it's like New York. It's like a I mean, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna get a lot of attitude with this, but it's like a it's like a soft New York. It's like a watered-down New York.

SPEAKER_06 5:39

Everybody says that South Jersey is not Jersey. They mesh us with Philly, like, oh that's Philly. Like, what?

SPEAKER_02 5:48

I wouldn't even say Philly, it's more like PA. Good job.

SPEAKER_06 5:53

So far away from PA. Anyway, we're not. Y'all got a lot of grass and I'm this episode about to be over before I started. Who's a lot of grass?

SPEAKER_02 6:03

Y'all got a lot of trees and grass out there.

SPEAKER_06 6:07

Y'all oxygen levels must be terrible out there then because y'all don't got no small cloud. Y'all don't have no, y'all don't have no trees. Okay. So um, before you got into art, um what's something that people always assumed about you, um, but is completely wrong?

SPEAKER_02 6:33

Well, truth be told, it was never really uh before I got into art because I've been doing art ever since I was four years old. Um, but if we're talking about in general, um there's a few things that uh that people have um perceived about me that is incorrect. Um closed off. Uh let's see. Um I've been told I look mean. That's crazy. I'm mad with that. That's crazy. Um let's see, let's see, let's see, let's see. I mean, I'm I think we'll I think we'll we'll stop there. We'll stop there.

SPEAKER_06 7:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 7:30

Um that's all I can think about right now.

SPEAKER_06 7:32

Got you, got you. And people say you look mean. Is it just your dis is that's your natural uh demeanor?

SPEAKER_02 7:41

Yeah, that's just my face, man. And I just be not a thought behind these eyes sometimes. People just think I'm mean.

SPEAKER_06 7:48

Got you. Your mind ain't even on them. But right, got you.

SPEAKER_02 7:52

I'm trying to figure out what I'm about to eat. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_06 7:55

Food is always first, okay?

SPEAKER_02 7:57

Right.

SPEAKER_06 7:58

Um, are you more quiet and observant, or are you like loud and expressive?

SPEAKER_02 8:04

Uh depends who I'm with, but majority of the time I'm very quiet and observant. I'm the guy that generally is, if we go to the club, I'm I'm the guy amongst the friends that's quiet in the corner.

SPEAKER_06 8:16

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_02 8:17

I'm that guy.

SPEAKER_06 8:18

Gotcha. Okay. Um do you remember what life was like in DC? Like what DC was like? Absolutely. No, tell us about it.

SPEAKER_02 8:26

Absolutely. DC is a very interesting place because it's like you have people that are not from DC that's like, I'm gonna visit DC. What where should I go? And every time I tell them, I was like, don't cross that bridge in the southeast.

SPEAKER_05 8:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 8:40

Whatever you do, don't cross that bridge in the southeast. Um DC is very much so pretty. It's nice looking, it's the capital, you know what I mean? But realistically, it wasn't the best place to grow up in the early 90s and early 2000s. Um I don't know if you you may remember, but like DC Sniper and Murder Capitol. Like DC at that time when I was growing up was and before was the murder capital of the US. So it's it's very violent um in times. But at the end of the day, it's Chaka City, is is is my people all over the place, all over the place.

unknown 9:26

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 9:27

Deep in culture, um, have our own style of music, go go.

SPEAKER_05 9:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:32

Um yeah, so yeah.

SPEAKER_06 9:36

Okay. What is one song that could describe you as a person?

SPEAKER_02 9:43

Oof.

SPEAKER_06 9:45

You mentioned go-go, so I just wanted to throw that out there.

SPEAKER_02 9:48

That's tough. Um, I don't honestly, in this phase of my life, I don't think there's just one song. There's not just one song. Um, I have a few playlists that I would say describe me as a person, honestly.

SPEAKER_06 10:03

You have playlists? I need to step my game up.

unknown 10:06

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 10:06

Oh, you know you got playlists. You intro this this podcast with crocodile tears.

SPEAKER_06 10:12

That's that was for you.

SPEAKER_03 10:15

Oh, thank you.

SPEAKER_06 10:17

Oh you see what I did there? Did you see what I did? I'm not gonna make it. I'm not gonna make it. I'm not gonna make it. Um, yes, because that's something I also want to get into. You're actually working on a project. Um so yeah. So before we even get into that, it's a couple a little bit more about like your background. What was school like for you? Were you like popular? Did you get all the girls, you know, them odds?

SPEAKER_02 10:51

No, it was a different experience from DC in Jersey. Right. Um, DC, I had my own crowd, people. I was still a very much out the way individual um in middle school and things or junior high school or whatever. Um, but when I moved to Jersey um and went to Passake High School, um, it was just like a culture shock because I went from all black kids to Hispanic um and everything else. And being one of maybe 30 black kids in school. Um and you'll generally see like different cultures of people stick together.

SPEAKER_05 11:36

Right.

SPEAKER_02 11:36

Right. Um and it was generally the same for the most part. I had my own little group, my art group, um, my homies and stuff like that that I generally stuck to. I was never one of the outwardly expressive people that wanted to be seen and be known by um more than what I'm capable of. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_06 12:01

Were you shy? Or like we made friends easily?

SPEAKER_02 12:05

Um, I'm I'm I'm I don't think I'm shy. Um, I just think I'm I put myself in spaces where I feel comfortable, and uh people that are supposed to that that generally gravitate to me gravitate to me, you know?

SPEAKER_06 12:25

Gotcha, gotcha. Were you were you ever married?

SPEAKER_02 12:29

No.

SPEAKER_06 12:30

No. Do you want to get married?

SPEAKER_02 12:32

Maybe one day. One day.

SPEAKER_06 12:34

Maybe okay.

SPEAKER_02 12:35

Yeah. It's too scary out here right now to give you a definite answer.

SPEAKER_06 12:40

Um, well, in your ideal world, and I feel like when it comes to dating and relationships, um what people don't realize that's something that we have control over. Like, you know, we can't control people, of course, but um like our ideal, like what we want, we can kind of cultivate that a little bit. I kind of believe that. So like in your ideal world, like would you would you be married?

SPEAKER_02 13:06

Absolutely. I believe I'm I'm I'm a I'm a lover boy at art here.

SPEAKER_06 13:11

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_02 13:12

Um, through and through. And I believe in companionship and a union. Um it's just I don't necessarily think that um my values match many. Um and so I generally am just like waiting to see, you know? I'm just waiting to see. Minding my business, doing my doing my work and staying out the way until that that time happens, hopefully.

SPEAKER_06 13:45

I mean, yeah, you gotta get out there.

SPEAKER_02 13:49

Hey, I'm not forcing it.

SPEAKER_06 13:51

You want your children?

SPEAKER_02 13:53

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_06 13:55

Gotcha, okay.

SPEAKER_02 13:56

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_06 13:57

Okay, okay. Um, I like to ask those kind of questions just to get a feel for like, you know, ladies. He's single. So Oh my god. Why you do that? No, why you do that? No. Uh, but he's not looking, you know, he's focused on his art, he's focused on undeveloping himself. So when he's done, when he's done, did I clean it up?

SPEAKER_02 14:23

You just made it worse. You just made it worse. You just made it worse because there's gonna be people out there. It's just gonna be like, I like that challenge. I guarantee you.

SPEAKER_06 14:35

But but if the door is open, it's open. If you close it, can't nobody get in the door. You don't even know what the key. Right? Right? You act like they ain't already trying you. Don't put that on me.

SPEAKER_02 14:45

Well, at the end of the day, they can't find me, so period.

SPEAKER_06 14:48

Okay, because you like a caveman. Speaking of cavemen, lizards. Yes, let's talk about lizards.

SPEAKER_02 14:58

My babies, let's go.

SPEAKER_06 15:00

Oh my god, why?

SPEAKER_02 15:02

I'm an animal lover. There's literally no animal that I do not love except monkeys. I love all animals.

SPEAKER_06 15:14

That was so random. Why can't we?

SPEAKER_02 15:17

It's a long story, so you ready? You you got your snacks?

SPEAKER_06 15:20

Yes, go for it.

SPEAKER_02 15:21

Uh um, and I have a witness um to this, but when I was when I was in the army, for those who don't know, I was in the army, um, there was a a deployment. So I'm not laughing. A deployment to Japan, uh, where we work with the Japanese military. And um the thing about the army is they don't send you to nice places, right? Even though the the culture and the atmosphere is generally nice, they're gonna send you to the worst part. Um, and so as an infantryman, um, we're thinking, like, oh yeah, we're about to go to Japan, we're about to live it up, party with the Japanese military, the land of Japan, get on the bus for two hours and drive in the mountains and be in the middle of the woods um and nowhere and living in tents for two months. Um and so um there they have these like in the chow hall or the cafeteria, they have like these posters of like all the animals that you need to watch out for, right? So the Japanese sunbear, um Japanese centipedes, Japanese hornets, and then these monkeys, these monkeys, they they're like baboons of the smaller and puffier. Jesus. Um but uh this is when um I was on the team, we were doing like a fake mock-up mission where we had to go against their army and go find them in the woods and stuff like that. Um long story short, um walking through the woods, we made too much noise. The monkeys didn't like that, um, ended up chasing us. I take off, my black ass take off running, and next thing you know, I wake up in the med tent.

unknown 17:26

What?

SPEAKER_02 17:27

Mm-hmm. I wake up in the med tent, and uh another long story short, one of the monkeys ended up throwing like a boulder at the back of my head.

SPEAKER_06 17:37

So you got attacked by a monkey.

SPEAKER_02 17:39

Yes. Cut this out of the interview. I'm joking. Nah, you ain't gotta cut it.

SPEAKER_06 17:46

We can cut it. We can cut it now. Wow, though. But see, that's a legit reason to fear something something. Like, most people would be out here like, oh no, it's a spider.

SPEAKER_02 17:59

I don't mind spiders. Everybody else freak out about spiders. I don't mind spiders at all.

SPEAKER_06 18:03

Yeah. So, okay, so why lizards?

SPEAKER_02 18:06

Um, mainly because number one, um my pops is because I live with my pops, um, my pops is has every almost the every worst respiratory issue. He has bronchitis, asthma, and all this other stuff. So, like getting like a fur animal would not do him well at all.

SPEAKER_06 18:26

Yeah, no, even the hypoallergenic ones don't.

SPEAKER_02 18:31

So generally I just wanted to do get something that's low maintenance, stimulating, and just cute, you know, something that that will help those endorphins go to my brain or whatever. And so I just chose leopard geckos. So um, and they're very colorful. And I obviously I love colors.

SPEAKER_06 18:51

So yeah. Okay. Have you ever painted any?

SPEAKER_02 18:55

Um, no. That's actually a good idea. That's actually a good idea.

SPEAKER_06 19:01

You love them so much you couldn't even make a portrait. Some love.

SPEAKER_02 19:05

That's crazy. That's crazy. Shame on me.

SPEAKER_06 19:08

Shame on you.

SPEAKER_02 19:09

Shame on me. I'm gonna have to apologize to them later after this interview.

SPEAKER_06 19:13

You might, you might see. Look, I'm healing, I'm healing the home. Um, how is it like being like you are like I would assume like you're the caregiver of your father?

SPEAKER_02 19:23

Um, no.

SPEAKER_06 19:24

No? Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_02 19:26

Not yet. Not yet, anyway.

SPEAKER_06 19:27

Okay. So how is that like your relationship with your father?

SPEAKER_02 19:31

That's my best friend. That's my guy. I love that. That's my guy. Um, it's it's been me and him ever since I was two years old.

SPEAKER_06 19:38

So Okay. I love that. Okay. All right. So let's get into the tea.

SPEAKER_01 19:46

Uh oh.

SPEAKER_06 19:47

No, it's good tea. Um you stated that you have been um, I'm I'm just gonna say an artist, um, since you were four years old. Um what do you remember what that experience was like for you at four? Like your first experience with like art in general?

SPEAKER_02 20:07

Um not necessarily, but I will say that um there was an experience that I had that really shaped my um my trajectory into being an artist. Um when I want to say maybe second grade, I had art class and there was like a competition going on um for um homeless awareness month, I believe, um, at the time. And I decided, you know, um I'm going to paint a family being guided to a home, a homeless family being guided to a home by an angel. Um also let me backtrack real quick. Um actually, my dad shaped my love for art. Um in that same art class, maybe a year earlier, I had a homework assignment um where I had to draw a car. I didn't know how to draw a car. So I came to my dad and I was like, hey, can you show me how to draw a car? He's not an artist at all. So he he drew like the basic box car with the triangle windows and circle tires, you know what I mean? And that blew my mind. That blew my mind as a kid. And so ever since then, I was like drawing like Dragon Ball Z and Ninja Turtles, Power Rangers, whatever the stuff. Um, so fast forward when I did that art competition, I drew that family being guided to a home by an angel. Um, I want to say two days later, um, came over to intercom that I won the competition. And it wasn't just a school thing, it was like a countywide competition. Um and the reward was like free movie tickets, and also my artwork was going to be displayed. For a month in the National Grammar Art in DC.

SPEAKER_05 22:04

Wow. Shout out to you.

SPEAKER_02 22:08

And so my dad was like, okay, we're about to invest in this. And so like he'll buy me like paper and like he was never the one to buy like my toys and stuff. He will always buy like drawing books and pencils and uh paper and all that other stuff for me.

SPEAKER_06 22:28

That is awesome. Shout out to Pops, yeah. Shout out for investing in you being the breathtaking painter that you are. Like your work is literally breathtaking. So I dabble. We're gonna we're not doing that in this interview. Okay. Let me, let me, let me, this is my shop.

unknown 22:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 22:49

I gotta annoy you at least once.

SPEAKER_06 22:50

You know, I I hate that. If I start preaching on this thing. So getting into art, and I love that story about your father investing, because I feel like that's big as well. Um even if they if your kid don't pick it up ever again, at least if they show interest in something, because you never know who you're raising. You don't know who, you know what I'm saying? So just them that little twinkle in their eye when they pick up that drum set, okay, they're gonna blow your eardrums out, but you don't know who you're raising. Okay. So that's that's wonderful. Shout out to Pops for that. Um acrylic or oil?

SPEAKER_01 23:33

Oil all day, every day.

SPEAKER_06 23:35

Okay. I'm not even a painter, and I'm gonna say this. If I was, it would be acrylic. Let me tell you why. Because I don't have time for all that drying, all that mixing, all that nope. Acrylic is I I'm gonna take acrylic over oil.

SPEAKER_02 23:58

So So how long do you think that it takes for oil paint to dry?

SPEAKER_06 24:04

Um well, you the professional. I'm just I'm just saying from watching you paint and then like watching people paint with acrylic is like oh, they moving through. They don't gotta wait for no layers, they can just go. But like when I watch you paint, it's like okay, I have to let this layer completely dry before not necessarily. No, okay, not necessarily educate me to learn me something.

SPEAKER_02 24:33

I started I started with acrylic.

SPEAKER_06 24:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 24:37

That was my first paint medium. Um and then I was like, acrylic is not doing it for me in what I want to do. Okay, and so when I tried oil, of course, it's it's a frustrating transition because of the dry, uh, the drying process and things of that sort. Um, and the transition. But once I got to maybe my second oil painting, I literally threw all my acrylics off a cliff. Like I was like, nah, I'm good. I'm good off acrylics. Bye. Um, and so the thing is it's with oil, um, it's a technique called wet on wet, right? Um, where you can develop very detailed paintings while painting, while it's wet and adding layers. You can still add layers as the painting is wet. Um, and that's essentially where I started and how I started painting. A lot of my paintings were done wet on wet. Um, but because of the fact that I'm painting very intricate stories, I need to allow the painting to develop in layers. Um but yeah, it's it's it's it's a you could do both, and that's another reason why I prefer oil or acrylic. It's flex it's the most flexible paint out there, but depending on paint style.

SPEAKER_06 25:59

Okay. What other paint styles? Um, if there's anyone listening that's thinking about picking up a paintbrush, like what are some other um styles that we really don't know about?

SPEAKER_02 26:10

Um, I don't necessarily know if it's nothing that you don't know about. It's just generally like it's a whole bunch of paint styles. It's it's just like accents and languages and and who you are as an individual's personalities, you know. Um I'm inspired by specific paint styles, but I have my own paint style. Like which ones you inspire um I love classical paintings. I love um Harlem Renaissance, I love express um expressive paintings where um brush strokes are very um out there and apparent. I love um illusionists that can uh place a brush um and boom, you your brain tells you that it's a hand. Place a brushstroke and it's a hand in your mind. But if you get close to it, it's just a whole bunch of scribbles. You know what I mean? I love that.

SPEAKER_06 27:06

Gotcha. It's whatever you want it to be, right? Gotcha.

unknown 27:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 27:11

It's hyper-realism. People love hyper-realist realistic paintings and things of that sort. It's a whole bunch of stuff.

SPEAKER_06 27:18

Hmm. Okay, teach the people, okay. Um when did painting become more than just something to do for you?

SPEAKER_02 27:32

Um painting became more than something to do for me when I realized how valuable it is to my mental and physical well-being. Um, it's therapy. It's therapy for me. Um, it's a way to express, it's a healthy way to express, whether I'm expressing in an angry um form of paint style or happy, calm, um, sensual, whatever. It's it's expression. Um and it's healthy. I'm not breaking nothing, I'm not crashing out, I'm not nothing. I'm just doing something that is creative, essentially turning something, um, a blank canvas into something amazing.

SPEAKER_06 28:26

Wow, you that kind of was a follow-up um question you already answered. Um, do you paint to express or to release, or both? Both. Both. I would I would figure that. Um a lot of your work, I love that you use your own face, and I love that you show different emotions. You have pictures where you literally have four or five different facial expressions or different things going on, but it tells a story. Um, and it's all your face, like the younger version of you, the older version of you. Um so why do you use your face specifically in your art? Um, and what does that represent for you?

SPEAKER_02 29:13

I'm happy that you asked that. And this is for the people that's about to listen to this. I want y'all to listen and listen close. Listen real close because a lot of people, and this bang, this doubles back to the misconception question that people have. Um, a lot of people have this misconception that I'm being vain or conceited or whatever. Um, a big reason why I use my face, number one, is I'm learning how to love myself in all facets and aspects of me, whether I'm angry, sad, happy, whatever. Um, generally because throughout my life and school and things of that sort, I was bullied um for um my facial features. I have very strong black facial features, you know? Um, and so that carried with me throughout a large majority of my life. Um, and it came out the the impact of that came out heavily in my adult life, and I needed to find a way to get over that. Right. Um, and so essentially I was just like, I'm gonna just paint myself to show me. I want to see me. You know what I mean? And that's what I do. I paint myself in spaces where um I'm vulnerable, and I learn to truly, truly appreciate and love myself for who I am and what I look like.

SPEAKER_06 30:45

That is powerful. Wow, okay. I loved how deep you went into that. Continue, continue.

SPEAKER_02 30:55

Um, and um a very wise person once told me you need to understand and get to know yourself before you try to know someone else. And you don't necessarily need to be a painter to carry that value with you. Um and that that that person was actually my first true art teacher that I had in high school. Um, his name is Mario Pinha, who I'm very cool with now to this day, where like the first assignment, true assignment that we got was a self-portrait. Um and the the first self-portrait I did in this class was absolutely trash. Absolutely trash. And then he gave me another opportunity to do it, and it turned out very well, very well. Um, and I got better and better and better and a lot more clear in my language when I every time I painted myself, it was very much so more and more and more apparent that this is me every time I paint myself. Um and so I generally carry that with me um throughout my career. Before I try to really get in depth with painting someone else, I need to understand who I am before I try to get to know somebody else on the campus.

SPEAKER_06 32:21

Absolutely. Wow. Um, this kind of just came to me, but um in the beginning, when you started doing those self-portraits, what's one thing you discovered about yourself?

SPEAKER_02 32:39

Um I got some soup coolers on me, boy. That's that's that's that um that's that's the funny one. That's the funny one. But um honestly, um one first thing was I love painting my nose, and that was the biggest thing that I got bullied for was my nose. I love painting my nose. Um I love my complexion. Um me being a painter, I'm very big on color. Color theory is very, very important to me um in creating the illusion over overall color um by providing other colors. Um I feel like my skin complexion is so stimulating, or similar skin complexions are are very stimulating to paint because uh I have so much flexibility with color that I can use to create the illusion of my overall skin complexion.

SPEAKER_06 33:52

That is dope. That's really dope. And you like watching you paint, and I guess because you know, like you always say color theory, learn color theory, like that is your thing. Learn your colors, learn what goes good. Like you put colors in places, and and I'm like, wait, that don't go there. But when it's done, it's like, oh, that's what that yellow dot is. Okay, cool. And I'm like, that I think is an amazing thing. I like about art because once you learn about color and how they mix well together, how you can create like a warm, or like you know, like the tones of the color, like a lot of your pictures to me are very I told you this before, like they're very emotional. Um like you literally, like the eyes when you do I I think I said this to you when you were painting the young lady. Um, the eyes, like all the emotion is in the eyes. Like, I literally want to tear up because it's like whatever you are trying to say. I don't know what you were trying to say, but I I feel it, and I'm so sorry. Like, whatever it is, I'm so sorry. Like, it's like I don't know if it's sadness or what, but it's like immediately I'm like, what happened? Like, so you yeah, you got something on you.

SPEAKER_02 35:18

Um thank you for sure.

SPEAKER_06 35:20

Like you, and I tell you this all the time. Like you, if you don't think you the baddest in the room, you the baddest in the room. Like, believe it. Watch out now, please.

SPEAKER_03 35:32

Please, like, and I'm about to give me a mean a mink coat right now in a minute. And a pinky break. I'm about to grow my pinky nail out in a minute.

SPEAKER_06 35:42

Um it's like, you know, that's why I like doing these episodes with creatives because it's like there's enough room at the table for everyone. Nobody paints like you or the next person or makes music like the next person. There's an we can all eat. So that when I say like you are the baddest in the room, nobody can do what Malik Hill does. So when you wake up in the morning, all right, and back to the question. I'm sorry. You know how I got you know how I feel. Like, okay, all right, all right. So you spoke about being bullied about your facial expressions or your facial features, sorry. Um so when you started again doing those self-portraits and you know getting into that, is your art more or was, or however you want to word it, is it more about who you are or what you've been through?

SPEAKER_02 36:40

It's just a culmination of things. Um, it's who I am, what I've been through, who I want to be, who I want to inspire, because I mean, and then that's the biggest that's the biggest thing. Um uh fun fact one of my favorite movies of all time is the Pixar movie Soul. Um you you gotta see it. It's very deep. It's very deep. Um and a very big theme of that movie is teaching people the difference between um a purpose and a spark.

unknown 37:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 37:22

Right? I like that. Um so a lot of people feel like they need to chase their spark. And essentially their spark is um what they do, right? So for example, my spark is my artistry. Okay, but it's not my purpose, right? Um, I firmly believe that um my purpose is ultimately to inspire and uplift people that are going through or have gone through similar things that can receive assistance by viewing my artwork and feel um feel like they can relate to this, right? Um, so that's what I'm chasing, right? Um, is my purpose. Um, and I'm just using my spark to facilitate that.

SPEAKER_06 38:12

I love that. You should write poetry.

SPEAKER_03 38:17

I do.

SPEAKER_06 38:18

Oh, see, look, see, never knew. See, you think you know a person, I'll tell you. Um, okay. You flying through this for me. Like you getting, you hitting like key points for me, and I love that. So also kind of back to using your face. Do you feel like it's about identity? Is it about being in control of the narrative um of what you look like and how you want to be portrayed, or like vulnerability? Like, what what do you feel like that is?

SPEAKER_02 38:52

It's a heavy a very big theme of my artwork is breaking social norms as a black man. Um and so ultimately I'm just being vulnerable because that is a very uncommon thing. And what I'm happy and seeing is that we're we're seeing more and more black men become more vulnerable and open what they're going through and their feelings and things of that sort. So um I'm very proud to be a part of that voice to kind of showcase like it's it's okay. It's cool to be open, it's cool to be vulnerable. And if people don't like it or appreciate it, then oh well. See, I was my I was my star cussing and forgot this is a friend.

SPEAKER_06 39:48

Hey, you can listen. This is grown folks, and we have an explicit caption, so please I'm not bleeping nothing out. Um okay, like what emotion shows up more in your work that you don't always show in real life.

SPEAKER_03 40:10

Um, that is a good one. Well, you yeah, you need a you need a you need a show. You need an actual show on a network. That was good.

SPEAKER_02 40:20

Um take your time, brother.

SPEAKER_06 40:25

Take your time.

SPEAKER_02 40:26

Desire. Desire.

SPEAKER_06 40:29

Why?

SPEAKER_02 40:31

Um because I want a lot for myself. Um, and when I say desire, I mean like healing. Right. Um my my last series was very much so a coming out of like me as a black man speaking to other black men and people that are willing to listen about some of the struggles, a lot of the struggles that we as black men go through. And the a heavy theme of that series was heartbreak and overcoming heartbreak. Heartbreak from potential partner, lover, whoever, heartbreak from falling short of your passion, heartbreak from um loss of life, you know, it's a whole bunch of stuff that um that black men bear. Um and I wanted to be very open about what that looks like in an artistic and spiritual way.

SPEAKER_06 41:37

I love that. So, out of all the art forms that you dive into, like you mentioned like photography and videography and things like that, what was it about painting out of all the other art forms that was like, nope, this is my thing?

SPEAKER_02 41:56

It was easier for me to um individualize myself as an as a painter than any other, in my opinion, or me. Um it was I couldn't mold my my language, my my voice, my art style to whatever I want to be easily in comparison to all the other things, right? Um just generally just how I use color, how how I present the subject, um, how I hold the brush and apply the brush to the canvas. And uh for I want to say you hold that brush like a feather.

SPEAKER_06 42:44

I don't know how you be painting. It's like he's barely touching the canvas. It's literally like I don't know, I can't even describe it. It's awesome to watch though.

SPEAKER_03 42:55

That's dope.

SPEAKER_02 42:56

But it took 10 years to get there. It took 10 years to get there. That was uh the large majority of my artistic journey was discovering who I am as an artist, and I took that very seriously in reading, and and this is this is for my artist listeners out there and oh my creatives in general. Um being an expert in your craft is not just about doing your craft, it's about study, application, research, always doing the difficult thing and not shying away from the difficult thing. Um, me just painting and wanting to be the best painter I could be. I'm just a painter, I'm not an artist. Right? That's the difference between being a painter and the artist. Being a painter, you're just painting. Being the artist is the application of everything that goes into the artistry.

SPEAKER_05 44:00

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 44:00

And so that's what I spent ten years of my life really doing.

SPEAKER_06 44:06

Wow. And that really spoke to me because I like to write. And recently I discovered, like, you know, I don't really know that many words. As much talking as I do. It's like I don't know that many words. So are you saying like, you know, like learning and learning the difficult things? It's like I had to do my research on like poets. Like I I just started writing poetry. I never, you know, like I wasn't into it. Like I didn't hear like someone uh speak at a like a poetry slam or anything like that. Like I love music. And I and I tried to write music and I could get past like one verse and a hook, and I get stuck. So I'm like, well, maybe if I just write it in poetry form, but then I realized I'm like, wow, I don't really listen to any poets or or read about any poets. So like in this season, like I'm really like researching poetry and actual poets and just feeling like there is a big difference. Like wow, like Langston Hughes. When people talk about like Langston Hughes, he's one of those people who talk about the struggle um of like black America and the things that we went through, but the he's like a it's very short and very um his style is like wow, I didn't know I could write short poems poems like this. Literally, some of them are like four lines, and I'm like, here I am trying to write a paragraph when it's like I'm forcing myself to do something. I'm like, but if I would have never researched it, I would have never known that I could do that. So and I bought a dictionary. What? Like a heart, like a paper dictionary.

SPEAKER_04 45:54

There you go. There you go.

SPEAKER_06 45:57

A thesaurus. When's the last time y'all niggas picked up a thesaurus? A thesaurus. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 46:05

Exactly. I don't even know how to spell thesaurus.

SPEAKER_06 46:10

A thesaurus. I'm about to I will I'm about to be spelling the shit out of these words, okay? No.

SPEAKER_02 46:16

But yeah, I think I think that that's um essential. That's very essential because um you need to just like actors, right? Um, when they have to play a specific role or reenact a specific person's life, they have to embed themselves in that person's life to really encapsulate who that person is, right? So it's the same with all artistry. It's you have to um submerge yourself into what it is that you want to do. So with you, um, depending on what type of um poetry you want to get into, the language, the style, whatever the case may be, get in there. Get in there and do it. Get in there and do it.

SPEAKER_06 47:12

I'm in there, I'm definitely in there. So have you ever um had a time in your life where painting didn't do it for you, and you were just like, I want to give up.

SPEAKER_02 47:26

Yes.

SPEAKER_06 47:27

Let's talk about it.

SPEAKER_02 47:28

Probably every four months.

SPEAKER_06 47:30

Oh, when you go on your little hiatus.

SPEAKER_02 47:32

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, every four months. And I just want to tell y'all listening, it's normal.

SPEAKER_06 47:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 47:40

It's normal.

SPEAKER_06 47:41

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_02 47:42

And people have and boom, another misconception. People have this misconception that I'm this big time artist or whatever the case may be. I'm just painting and painting and painting and painting and painting and painting and painting. I get burnt out.

SPEAKER_05 47:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:56

Life outside is tiring.

unknown 47:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:59

Um I'm going through some stuff right now. I'm tired. I'm tired, I'm burnt out. Um, and sometimes the the artist money don't be cutting it sometimes, you know, and that's frustrating. So sometimes I just need to be like, mmm, before I just try to force myself to create something that I don't feel, I don't feel I'll rather take a step back and just be. Gotcha.

SPEAKER_06 48:25

That's needed. Do you have any other outlets um now? Like when it when paint doesn't do it for you, like what how else do you like kind of get your head in the game?

SPEAKER_02 48:37

Uh let's see, let's see, let's see. I'll be eating.

SPEAKER_03 48:45

I'm joking, I'm joking, all seriousness, all seriousness, all seriousness.

SPEAKER_02 48:49

Um, I actually um am a gamer. I love video games. Um, but what I wanted to do was something constructive with gaming and ultimately me being a veteran. I wanted to create in a community um of veterans or people that wanted to get a sense of um just military life and things of that sort. And there's a video game called Armor Reforger. Um, and so it's like a military simulation game or whatever where you do like missions and stuff like that. Um, but um I formed a community of people that has been going on for three years strong. Um, every Wednesday and Friday we get together, we play play this video game together. And it's just like a community of guys that I call my homies that um and it's not just about game, and it's again, it's about community, um, where we we chop it up, we talk about real life, what we're going through, and everything like that. And um, yeah, it's it's another thing that I have that when I'm not painting, I could devote time to and invest in. And it makes me feel good because a lot of these guys look to me as a source of just knowledge and just guidance. Um, and I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_06 50:12

Nice. Um, that was a nice segue into like our next topic of um military life. What um inspired you to go into the military if if it was an inspiration?

SPEAKER_02 50:27

We can juicy. All right, so number one, um, number one, I didn't want my dad to have to pay for anything else for me. Um so his thing was I'm gonna go to college, I'm gonna go to an art program, this, that, and the third, and I'm just like, you were a single father all my life. Um, you sacrificed your late, um in your early 30s to to adopt me, I'm adopted. Um and and take care of me and things of that sort, um, to not be a statistic. And so I I just want to remove that stressor from you. And at the end of the day, maybe college may not be for me, you know, and I don't want to waste your money. So I'm uh I'm gonna do this contract and I'm gonna get out, and I'm going to go to college if I decide to go to college on my own dime.

SPEAKER_06 51:26

Gotcha. That's very selfless, by the way. Like, kudos to you because that's thank you. That speaks a lot about your character. Continue.

SPEAKER_02 51:34

Thank you. Um, another thing was I was very angry as a kid. Um, but I wasn't bad or I didn't like express my anger outwardly often. I would get into fights often because of the bullying situation. Um, but I needed something to direct that anger towards that I could really just be, you know what I mean? And um, my dad did his part within his means, but I think I think the military really helped ground me in the sense of uh my anger issues.

SPEAKER_06 52:14

Wow, and we're gonna spin back. You say you were adopted, yes, ma'am. Let's talk about that.

SPEAKER_02 52:22

Oh, we okay. You got your tissues?

SPEAKER_06 52:26

I got one.

SPEAKER_02 52:28

Okay, you better hold on to that one.

SPEAKER_06 52:30

You got one tissue minimum.

SPEAKER_02 52:32

Hold it up, get ready.

SPEAKER_06 52:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 52:34

Well, September 8th, 1993, a star was born. I'm joking. Uh, but you know, period posts. 1993 um was born. Um, my mother was an individual who struggled with drug addiction um for um a majority of her adult life. And prior to me, I had two older brothers. Um and um when I was born, um, she was a part of a program that would try to help kick her addiction and help her with clothes and things of that sort, put her in different programs and homes and things of that sort so she could get better. And that's where she met um her social worker. Um, and so essentially um she had a crush on him. And he was like, nah, I can't do that, but we could be homies, you know. Um, and so ultimately, um, because that happened, she ended up asking him to be my godfather. He said yes, and so when I was born, um outside of my aunt, he was the first person to hold me. He took me to get my haircuts and everything like that. And there was a moment where she kind of slipped back into her drug addiction to baby and left me in the apartment to go find drugs or whatever. Crying landlord called the police, Difus King took me away. My aunt, um my aunt tracked me down and brought my mother. My mother came to my godfather with me and was like, I am not in the best space to take care of him. Can you take him? And so uh my godfather says yes, said yes, and ever since then that's been my dad.

SPEAKER_06 54:40

Wow, that is heavy. I don't even know what my question was. Okay, um and look at you amazing and off air. It's gonna be off air because that just solidifies everything that I've ever told you. In in okay, I'll just slap you. What are you slap me for? Because like what? Um, do you think people really understand what veterans carry mentally?

SPEAKER_02 55:22

Yes and no. Okay. I think I think as time has progressed, it's gotten better um uh with the understanding of a veteran struggle. Um, but it can also always be better. Um for example, I tell people like the moment I express that I have PTSD, there's some people that's like, oh God, he's gonna it's gonna flip out every moment. No, it my PTSD is linked to anxiety and in predominantly social and loud settings. So it's not like you're gonna pop a balloon and I'm gonna be like the trees are talking and and duck and hide, you know. It's not not like that, you know.

SPEAKER_06 56:03

Well, see, that's the misconception that they put in movies when they especially when they depict black individuals in these movies who have gone through um like some type of PTSD, they they dramatize it to make it seem like well, there's different forms of PTSD as well. But they make it s they make you afraid of it. Um instead of educating it, they make you afraid of it, or they make you, you know, these are people that risk their lives for this country. So it's not anything that people should be or they should shine light on it as a fear, but it should be more of an advocacy. And because like my mother is an army vet, and she struggles with PTSD, depression, and anxiety. Um, so being in the front seat of experiencing that, like I completely understand, like it's an up and down thing. It's never every day is different. No day is gonna look like uh the next, and you have to have patience. Even a person struggling with that, like you have to be patient with yourself and give yourself grace. And I commend you for for doing that every day. Um thank you, you know, because I know it's it's probably not easy battling all the things, but um no kudos to you though. Um thank you therapy. Um clinically, um, spiritually, like what's your go-to?

SPEAKER_02 57:33

Both.

SPEAKER_06 57:34

Both.

SPEAKER_02 57:35

Well, I have three. Um clinically, spiritually, um, well, excuse me, four. Clinically, spiritually, artistically, and family. My dad. My dad is uh sometimes my in-home therapist, so I love that.

SPEAKER_06 57:53

Okay. Um have you ever created something that even surprised you what piece was that?

SPEAKER_02 58:16

Um the painting I did of my mother. And then why um the paintings that I did of my mother and my grandmother are my pride and joys, but my grandmother's was easy in the sense of because I I was around her more. Um I can count on one hand how many times I remember seeing my mother and interacting with my mother. So painting my mother was very difficult. Um, it actually was a six-year-long um art piece. Um, and the reason why, number one, is because at the time I only had one picture of my mother, and that was her obituary photo.

SPEAKER_05 59:06

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 59:08

Um, and so I used that photo to update and paint um her painting every year on her birthday. Um to just show, to just celebrate her, her sacrifice and things of that sort. And just to also be like, you know, just in just like any any little boy to his mom, like, mommy, look what I could do, you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_06 59:34

So okay, wow.

SPEAKER_02 59:37

Yeah. And so um that tissue that tissue good for you?

SPEAKER_06 59:44

Yeah, that's we flipping, we folding it now, it's getting folded.

SPEAKER_02 59:48

But yeah, so a six-year-long project to where I just like once I got to the point where it is now, I was like, I'm finished. It's finally done. And throughout the process of painting her, I had to number one, because I don't necessarily know what she looks like, right? Meaning in the sense of like her facial expressions, her resting phase, you know, stuff like that. And so ultimately I had to talk a lot with my aunt to see number one, which one of me and my brothers look more like her, and if there's a mix of all of us in her, and I mean, yeah, you know what I mean? And so come to find out, I share a lot more of her features, um, closer to her features. But my oldest brother, he had um her skin complexion. Um, and so I just really went off of that and just used my aunt's just facial structure, being like jawline, um, neck, head shape, and everything like that to kind of form my mother, um, my mother's face. And so um, once I finished the painting, I showed my aunt the painting, and she was like, That's my sister. And I was like, there we go, I'm done.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:19

I'm done. Wow. Wow. Do you see yourself painting more um portraits of your mother?

unknown 1:01:30

No.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:31

No, that was like a chapter.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:34

That was yeah, that was that was it. That was all my little my little heart bear. Um, but uh, yeah, that that I don't I don't foresee me topping it, and I don't want to replace that moment that I had where some moments are just left, just leave it where they are.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:55

Absolutely. Uh which that already answered the question. That was what is the piece that you created that you um that was hard for you to finish emotionally, would would you say that would be the one?

SPEAKER_04 1:02:12

No.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:13

No. Oh, give it to me, go ahead. I thought I knew so.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:19

Um the hardest piece that I had to create was my painting Rebirth a Triune, which is all my faces and the self-portrait of little me in the middle holding the fire.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:37

Oh, that one's so good.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:40

That was like the deepest form of transparency that I had to really tap into, and not necessarily transparency in the sense of being open with other people, but being open and honest with myself.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:01

That is one of the paintings that you did. Um that's a tear jerker because you literally, if I'm looking at it, it's like like the one where the hand is like underneath the boys, the little boy's hand is like reassurance. Like that's like I got you, right? But all the other emotions that you had to go through before you could even get to that is like literally like a rebirth, like powerful. And the one picture, like you kind of like are afraid, but you like how can I say like you're in protecting mode, like you're protecting, but you're afraid, like the I told you, like your the eyes balling, tears in tears. I love that. And since you brought up rebirth, um, what is the inspiration behind that series and like just the titles that you title, like your series um of of paintings?

SPEAKER_02 1:04:05

Um if we're talking about rebirth, the rebirth day series, this three-part series. So the first um painting was inspired by the fact that I just wasn't in the best place mentally. And that was around the time that my grandmother got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. And one of the last conversations um I had with her um because she was a little bit upset with me, she was going through chemo and things of that sort, and that she was upset with me in the fact that I haven't she hasn't seen me paint recently. And um, I told her that um I just couldn't get it out because of everything that she's going through. And I was then want to lose her. And so one of the things that she ended up doing that sits with me to this day is she just like a uh any any in-tune spiritual black grandmother um would do, she she knows how to get to me. And she ended up like patting my chest and where my heart is, and she told me to give her a hug. And I went to bend down to pick her up, um give her a hug when she asked me to pick her up so she could stand and give me a give me a hug. And so when she was hugging me, she told me to paint how I feel. Yeah, she told me to paint how I feel, and um from there sparked the first rebirthday painting. And it was just me just expressing, it was just me transitioning into a face of just like sadness, right? And then in that painting is essentially being me being aware that there is a problem, that there is a feeling there, right? And when we Go into and I released that on my birthday.

unknown 1:06:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:03

And so when we go into rebirthday two, where it's one, two, three, four, five, five phases, um, that was shortly after my grandmother passed. Um, and it was just me expressing the different phases of my grief and heartache.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:25

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:26

Um, and then when we go into Rebirth Day Triune or Rebirth Day Three, um it was me addressing the root of my heartache and pain and anger. And one of the things that someone had asked me prior to me painting that was if you could talk to your younger self, what would you do? What would you say? And I told them I wouldn't say anything, it would be more action than words. Um, and so essentially it was just a painting of me protecting um that light that I had as a kid. Um yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:12

If I would have known I was gonna be crying in this You crying? I didn't not tear it up a little bit because it's just like yo, every I told you everything that I feel like I'm a visual person. It's like I feel emotional already when I look at it. So to hear the story behind it, how can you not like, huh? Like alright, all right, all right, let's clean it up, let's clean it up. Let's clean it up. No, I do want to thank you for uh going as deep as you're going because like I said, this is this is your show. So, and I want you to go as deep as you can, and and you're being very vulnerable, and I I really um I really do appreciate that. Um so kind of going back into the military stuff. Um, I'm just trying to get myself together. I'm just trying trying to change the lane here, put my signal light on. Oh my gosh. Um, was there a moment in the military that changed you permanently?

SPEAKER_03 1:08:29

Woo. Um, yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:35

Okay, and that was my was supposed to be wife. Yeah. I was I planned on being married to a young lady while I was in the military. Don't do it. Uh and we were together for three years, and um she was cheating on me, found out, caught, caught him, and that kind of made me ace myself a lot more in life. Um, obviously, just like anybody else, they go through the phases of heartbreak and things of that sort. Um, but I essentially um moving forward and now kind of view relationships in a specific light in a specific way.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:41

Yeah. Wow. And um, I don't know if this is like a myth or something, but um like is it a thing that a lot of times servicemen go after uh like foreign women more than American women?

SPEAKER_02 1:10:00

Um I mean it depends on where they're stationed, right? Oh okay. I was I was in Hawaii at the time, but my my ex-girlfriend at the time was um damn, oh, Filipino and black. Um but I mean it it depends. Like if the guys are stationed in Japan, of course they're gonna date Japanese women because they're there. Um Italy, Italian women, you know what I mean? So it's it's it's not necessarily it's like, oh, I need me a foreign. It's just like it's in your vicinity. She's in your vicinity.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:38

So you can't date, like, in um what's the word? Like, if I'm in the army and you're in the army, we can't date each other.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:50

Yes and no. Okay. Yes and no. Um if I'm of if I'm a non-commissioned officer and you're a like private or specialist, um, no.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:03

That'll be fragranizing.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:05

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:05

If we're in the same unit, no.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:08

Okay. Gotcha. Okay. Um, do you feel like you had to suppress parts of you while you were serving?

SPEAKER_02 1:11:19

Absolutely not. I tell you, I tell you uh, I tell a lot of y'all right now, the Malik that y'all knew when I was in the army, y'all would hate me. Absolutely hate me. I was I joined the army when I was 17. Um first duty station was Hawaii, um, and I got exposed to the nightlife and party life at 17 years old, 18.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:47

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:47

But bars, clubs, fighting in clubs, like, yeah. It was wow.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:56

I mean, but you were young though. That's like, you know, like you didn't even get a chance to live yet for real. So that's pretty like if somebody was gonna go to college, like but it was such a stark difference.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:08

It's such I'm telling it's like night and day.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:11

But you have because you had money, right? It's not even that, because I would be so all right, fun fact.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:20

Um, and I'm not gonna I'm not gonna name drop him, but one of one of my brothers that I ended up serving with, not my blood brother, but um, I went to high school with him. We ended up in the same duty station. He was he was a few months older than me. Again, this is our first time like out on our own. Every other weekend, we would be in the club or strip club.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:48

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:49

And and um, yeah, I remember us just walking down the Honolulu strip and coming across the strip club, and we're like, You wanna go in? Let's go in. And we would I'm pretty sure I paid somebody's college tuition. Like it was yeah, it was bad. It was bad. We were spending a lot, a lot of money for no reason. And then the the following day would be like, Well, we gonna eat.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:18

Oh like it was bad. You gotta get them MREs, ain't that what they had? MRE's.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:25

But that's the thing, you can you don't have access to the MREs unless you're at work.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:29

Oh y'all was hungry, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:31

We was hungry, we would be sharing pizza. Like, what did what did we do? And then the next the the next pay period would be out again. I'm like, y'all, we gotta chill.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:43

We gotta chill. Or alternate weeks. You I spend it this week, but I got you got food.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:48

Like, for a fact, we ended up doing that.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:51

Okay, see, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:52

We ended up doing that, and it still didn't work out. Still didn't work out.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:57

Yo, that's insane. Yeah, oh my goodness. Okay, um, was it hard for you to transition into uh civilian life when you got out of the military?

SPEAKER_02 1:14:12

Um no, because I have a village.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:17

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:18

Um, and at the time that transition into civilian life came at the eve of that big breakup. So I went from about to live the rest of my life in in that duty station to now coming back home with all of the stuff. And my dad and my grandmother was just like there. They were there. And uh once once they found out they was like, come on home. Just come on home. And you know, it's I was raised by southern, southern, southern people from my grandmother's family is from South, the deep, deep south of Virginia. So it's it's just that that southern um perspective.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:05

I love that. And they're more patient too. Um, and I'm pretty sure you experience like living in New Jersey, everything, like especially living up north, it's like things are faster. People's patience are very short. Everybody's short, like, what's up? Hurry up, I gotta go. Like, what's up? So having a grandmother who was patient with you and you know, open her arms to you, and like that's amazing. A lot of people again, some people go away to the military because they don't have any family. And the family that they build in the military, that like that's their family. Um so to be able to have a home to come back to, like, that's that's amazing. Um okay, all right. Wow, you are good at this. Am I you are good at this, okay?

SPEAKER_02 1:15:53

I'm just an open book, that's all right.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:55

I loved it, I love that. Um, okay, hold on. Okay. So you kind of touched on like the pre well, not previous, but your past situation and kind of how it shaped your mindset on relationships and things that you should change. Um do you find it hard to be emotionally open in relationships now that you had that experience?

SPEAKER_02 1:16:26

No. Um, but I am reserved in the people that I share a space to be open with. Um so for example, like a lot of people, surface level will get the artist, right? Um but the peep specific people, including you, um, will get the goofiness, the the the the autism and the uh the ADHD and the uh just the kookiness of me.

SPEAKER_06 1:17:02

Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:03

And so I think that that was part of the big lesson that I learned is just just too giving of myself and who I am to anybody that seemed like they were were really willing to listen and care.

SPEAKER_06 1:17:19

Wow. Okay. Um what do you need from a partner that you didn't realize before?

SPEAKER_02 1:17:28

Patience. Patience. Patience and perspective. Patience and perspective.

SPEAKER_06 1:17:36

Elaborate on perspective.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:38

Perspective meaning, um, for example, with social media nowadays, everybody has an opinion on everything right now, right? Um me personally, I'm just like in the sense of dating, it's just like do whatever is best for you.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:58

Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:59

You know what I mean? Do whatever is best for you. 30, 70, 50, 50, 100, 0, uh, whatever. Whatever's best for you is best for you, you know, and perspective in the sense of just understanding that. Understanding that and understanding that you may be used to a specific treatment or a specific environment or a specific um way of being spoiled or given things, and then that relationship doesn't work out, and you go to another relationship expecting that same thing.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:40

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:42

And it's not necessarily that that person doesn't want to provide those things, but life is hard right now.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:47

Like no, for sure, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:50

You know what I'm saying? So it's just like that perspective is just like everybody ain't the same, everybody doesn't think the same, and understanding how to give people grace is important.

SPEAKER_06 1:19:04

Yes, very important. It is. Um wow. Um have you ever felt like someone couldn't handle your truth?

SPEAKER_02 1:19:21

Yes.

SPEAKER_06 1:19:23

What does that feel like?

SPEAKER_02 1:19:30

It all depends on how they deal with facing my truth, right? Sometimes it could be a enlightening experience for the both of us, sometimes it can be a frustrating experience for them, and sometimes it could be an I told you moment for me, because at the end of the day, there's one thing that um nobody can really say is Malik is a liar, you know, and I'm very upfront and open about who I am and what I can provide, um the ugly parts of me and everything like that, you know. Um, the things that I need to work on and blah, blah, blah. I'm very open about that. But once people are subject to those things, it's either a shock or just like, okay, I see now. You know what I mean? And it's just like I told you.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:27

I told you Honesty is always the best policy because you allow that person to choose. Absolutely. You give them the choice when you you can't, it's not good to take people's choices away because it's like, what are you what are you doing? Like it's at that point you're being deceitful.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:46

And just to just to add for those listeners, uh I'm saying these things not as an excuse, but as a perspective, ladies and gentlemen. So when I mention these things as far as my shortcomings and things of that sort, I'm still a constant work in progress. I'm not stagnant, stagnant or willing to stay in the spaces that I'm in. Now, I say that not to uh explain to you guys because I don't necessarily have to, but um just to gain an understanding. And again, a big thing for me is perspective, right? So for the people that are actually dealing with things and seek love or companionship or partnership or friendship with people that essentially um struggle with things in these environments, it's okay to be open about your shortcomings, but also don't continue to be in that space and constantly bring up your shortcomings as an excuse.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:00

As like, oh well, this is just who I am, deal with it.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:04

This is just who I am dealing with now.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:06

Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:06

No, that's not cool. That's not cool.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:08

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:10

You're enabling you're enabling your behavior.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:12

For sure. Um got a couple more questions about art, and then we can dive into the project that you are currently um working on right now, currently. Um this man is coming, he's working on a mixtape, y'all. Just won't put that out there. It's a whole mixtape. It's a whole mixtape coming to iTunes near you. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:39

Nobody's gonna think that Maui about to start rapping that.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:44

Oh, Belik on the ones and twos. Okay. But your your your music selection, I wouldn't be mad at it. Because you got a good air for music. Oh, and he can sing. Y'all didn't know we need to put that.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:56

No, no, no, no, no, I can't. No I can't, no I can't. I can't, no, I can't, I cannot sing.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:03

That's a whole that's a whole nother episode. Yes, you can lie. Um anyway, talking about he don't lie. Spot a lie.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:11

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:12

Call him in a lie, y'all. I got y'all.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:15

That's a comfortable line blowing too. Damn, I just admitted that that was a line that's crazy.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:21

I'm good at this. Anywho, nah, nah, seriously. Um, yeah, you can carry it too. You can carry it too. Um, what pain are you still learning how to put into paint? Words, paint. I say paint because that's you know, but words or paint.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:44

Um where are you getting these questions from? Um my goodness. The pain that I'm learning to paint.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:00

Yeah, but if the question is, what pain are you still learning how to basically put into paint or like express um or to put into words?

SPEAKER_02 1:24:09

I don't necessarily think it's I'm learning how to paint a specific thing. I think it's progress or again, perspective, or just where I am, or transition, right? Um, and we'll talk more about that when we talk about the project. Um, but all the pain that I wanted to paint is painted already. That's that's done. That's done.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:43

Gotcha.

unknown 1:24:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:44

Okay. Um, if your art could talk, what would it say about you?

SPEAKER_03 1:24:51

You the shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:56

Um, also, uh what would it say? Um this is God. This is um the sh strongest and the most prominent and the one of the most one of the most important characteristics of what God is. Um wow. I feel like the ability to create, whether it's painting, drawing, photography, um, poetry, acting, whatever, um, is the closest act that you can practice to God. Um because as a creator who as a person who believes in a creator, um he's a creator, right? And so essentially you are a creation that is also creating. So I think that is that is that.

SPEAKER_06 1:26:13

Wow. I'm about to get some brushes out right now. Of course, it's acrylic paint, but I'm about to paint me something. Because that was if you ain't want to paint after that, you every you got everybody want to be a painter after that. Because that was powerful. Because that in any creative space, though, that is it. And it's a gift. It is a gift. You have talents, but then you people are some people who are just naturally gifted at things, know nothing. They're just gifted. That is God, that is nothing but God. Period.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:45

And that's why that's why I say watch the movie. You gotta tomorrow in your free time, go on Disney Plus and watch the movie Soul.

SPEAKER_06 1:26:55

Um that is on my list. I'm gonna watch it because I like if it's what I think it is, I'm gonna like it. I like I like Disney. Well, is it Disney? Pixar. Yeah, it's okay. Pixar. Okay, yeah. I'm a little kid, so I like stuff like that.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:07

Um for my people that don't necessarily like animation stuff. Um, one of the best movies of the past year, Sinners showcases that. You know, um, when you have this musician that can tap into ancestry, the magic of things, when he gets into the flow of it. It's it's a very beautiful feeling once you get into the flow of your creativity. It is it is godlike, it is angelic.

SPEAKER_06 1:27:40

Yeah, and in the midst of it, it shouldn't be handled with um cockiness, it should be handled with gratitude because a lot of times, as we see with like celebrities and stuff, they're gifted or they're they get these things and they forget how they got there. They have a terrible fall because they forget to show gratitude and humble themselves and to remember, like the as quick as you got here, you could be back at square one tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:12

Um, absolutely.

SPEAKER_06 1:28:14

That's just even in your regular everyday life. Live your life with every step in gratitude. Because it's like we're all literally in trying times a minute away from poverty. Like what or whatever. Like it, you don't know what tomorrow's gonna bring. So definitely live your life in gratitude for sure. Um this takes us into our final segment, um, our closing segment, and we're gonna talk about some new things um that you have up your sleeve. I have the playlist here, um which is subject to change.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:53

Subject to change.

SPEAKER_06 1:28:55

Well, well, let's go from let's just talk about what you're currently working on, and um correct me if I'm wrong. I know the first uh portrait you did is called Welcome Back, correct? Okay. Yes, ma'am. Is this considered like your welcome back series?

SPEAKER_02 1:29:15

This is me saying to myself, I'm back where I should be.

SPEAKER_06 1:29:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:24

In in the space of emotion, mentality, and just attitude.

SPEAKER_06 1:29:32

Okay. And in this project, um, tentatively, we have a list of 20 different songs that you have titled Um The Name of the Po uh portrait that you're gonna do and the song that it's inspired by, correct? Yes, ma'am. Okay. From what we have now, I'm just gonna throw out some words to you, and I want you to tell me the first thing that comes to your mind when I say these names, okay?

SPEAKER_05 1:30:05

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:30:07

Revenge.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:10

This is a painting that is going to touch on just those individuals who counted me out, who said this art career wouldn't work, that I'm weird, that I'm boring, that everything that is not conducive to who I am and who I am supposed to be. This this is a painting for you.

SPEAKER_06 1:30:47

Okay. I love that. Um We Tide.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:54

We Tide is a is going to be me paying homage to one of one of the most hysteric historical black paintings. I'm not going to say which one, but also give love and respect to black women.

SPEAKER_06 1:31:20

Amen. Um, I'm gonna throw one more out uh to you. Um is coming.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:31

I don't know. You don't know.

SPEAKER_06 1:31:35

Annalise, is that how you say it? How do you say it? Anissa? Anisa. Is that it?

SPEAKER_02 1:31:42

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

SPEAKER_06 1:31:44

Number 17.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:45

Number 17.

SPEAKER_06 1:31:47

Anisa's web is Anisa's website. Anunce.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:51

Whoa.

SPEAKER_06 1:31:52

Anansies. Okay. Go ahead with that one.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:55

Um, that is one of three paintings to where I'm going to be going into the spicier side of my artwork. So a Nancy is an um African god um who essentially is the spider god. I don't know if you um read this school, this book in elementary school where it's um a Nancy's web or a Nancy. Where's the Charlotte? Okay. Well, it's this this individual who's climbing this endless web, endless web to the heavens, and he essentially becomes a guy. Short, short, end short part of the story. It's definitely more that goes into it. But um, yeah, it's it's it's it's gonna it's it's a spicy painting, really spicy.

SPEAKER_06 1:32:55

Got you. Um I love that, and you have paired these titles with specific songs. Is was that because the song uh reminded you, or is that like what triggered you to to pick the song because it reminds you the title reminded you of the song?

SPEAKER_02 1:33:12

Um, yes, and also the song is going to be setting a scene and a mood.

SPEAKER_06 1:33:20

That frequency, I love it. Okay, Malik, we are coming to the close of our interview, and I feel like um the only way to bring light to who you are, and for people who do not know who Malik Hill is, like we will be doing a uh visual um with your artwork so people can really see and we can showcase the true talent um that you have. So please stay tuned for that. Um, because for me that um it sucks. I really wish we could have done that tonight, but um for me, I need people to feel it. Like I'm a visual learner, that's how I learn, that's how I feel, I need to see it. Um, and so I people don't think I'm just blowing smoke. Like, really, your work is very emotional, and please continue to pour out whatever you have onto those canvases because it needs to be seen, it needs to be heard, and just how you told your story. There's somebody out there who may be struggling, being a creative or trying to find their place in a creative world. Um, you know, and it's like just something you may have said that could have just sparked them um to just pick up something and get started. Um to kind of close it out. What do you want people to feel when they see your work?

SPEAKER_02 1:35:02

I want people to feel a lot of things based on what they see, but ultimately um lack of app um apprehension, um openness the same way I am open with putting these feelings, these moments, these images on canvas. I would like those that same thing to be reciprocated in a way. You don't have to be 100% open, but just tell me how you feel. Yeah, tell me how you feel. Um I want people to feel inspired. Um, I want people to feel uplifted, I want people to feel seen, heard, um, um empowered to do um the same within their own um artistic voice, you know?

SPEAKER_06 1:36:00

So yeah. That's beautiful. Do you have um anything for anyone listening right now, um, whether a veteran, creative, or just a person just who's just tuning in, um, anything you want to leave with the people?

SPEAKER_02 1:36:15

One day at a time. And if you have the time to invest, whether it's not, whether it may be 10 minutes to an hour, do something creative at least twice a week. Um, regardless of what you're going through, um the moment of creativity, um, scientifically, physically, and emotionally, it will help a lot. And it is very important to, as a society, to really dive back into um artistry because essentially that is the world's first language, and I think it's important to get back to that um and understanding how important um the world's first language is, and to make this this great world that we we we live in a lot more colorful.

SPEAKER_06 1:37:13

Let's give a warm round of applause for Malik Hill, y'all. Um again, thank you so much for joining me tonight.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:23

Um, again, appreciate it for having me.

SPEAKER_06 1:37:25

Of course, and I this was amazing, and we definitely have to uh run it back for a visual. Um and and I didn't even get um and I jumped right into the episode. The episode is beyond the brushes, um, is the title of the the episode tonight. Um, and yeah, if you're creative, man, if you're if you're a writer, painter, whatever you like to do, I think we live in a world where social media makes people feel like they can't be them their true selves because everybody has an opinion. People are so opinionated, and the most opinionated people are the people that hide behind fake pages. So if they can't even show their true selves while they're talking all that junk, what makes you think you shouldn't show your true self and whatever talent you have, whether you're a singer, whatever? If you make paper cups, you make the best paper cups you can. Absolutely, period. Um, absolutely, and we are going to close out. Thank you again, Malik. We have to do this again.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:37

We shall.

SPEAKER_06 1:38:39

We shall, we shall. All right, y'all. Have a good night.