Dear Diary, Fellas the ladies have questions part 2 Special guest: Marquis Moore

Welcome back to another episode of Smoke In My Eyes! 

Thank you for tuning into tonight's episode ! We are closing this season out with a banger !!!

There are so many questions women have…questions we talk about with our friends,questions we think about late at night…but don’t always feel safe asking out loud. We’re creating a space where those questions get asked…and answered honestly. Not from a perfect man… but from a real one. A man who’s lived, loved, lost, learned…been through relationships, marriage, fatherhood—and came out with lessons.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Living life with no regrets. Sacrificing for the best. God always give me a test. I took my heart out my chest. Living life with no regrets. Tryna make everybody happy, but I can't. Everybody always callin' my phone. Never ask how I'm doing or am I okay? Nine times out of ten, motherfuckers calling me just to ask for some bread off of my plate. Well fuck them, hang up in their face. I don't want that love, it's your fake. Now everyday special feel like it's my birthday. Every day I'll be ice cream cake.

SPEAKER_06 0:28

What's going on? It's your girl Goddess. Welcome back to another episode of Smoke in My Eyes. Um, and then we're gonna come back with something bigger and better. But tonight is part two um to our series of fellas, the ladies have questions. Um, thank you so much to everyone who has shown support to my podcast. Don't forget we are on all streaming platforms, so feel free to comment, share. Um, and again, thank you guys so much for showing love. So, this is gonna be an interesting episode. Uh, because of the questions, just because uh we have a really, really special guest who is near and dear to my heart. Um, I've known this person for like 20 years, I feel like forever ever. Um so this person is a author, he is a songwriter, he is a producer, he does so much stuff. He's amazing. Um, he's a father, um, he's a son, a man of God. Um, he's just awesome, he's a great friend. So I'm going to give him the floor um to introduce himself. Our special guest tonight is no other than drumroll. Marquise Moore. Give it up, give it up.

SPEAKER_04 2:10

Hey, hey, that intro is amazing. Um it was definitely something different, and I respect I respect everything that you shot out about me. Um very humble to that, so I respect everything that you said. Uh again, my name is Marquise from Memphis, Tennessee. Uh stand out in Dallas at the moment. Uh definitely I am I am a songwriter, producer, author, father. So, you know, things of that nature. Uh so I'm I'm excited about this episode. I'm excited by me Goddess. You know, you know, she uh definitely a dear friend over 20 years. Um, we have a lot of history together, and I'm happy to be on the show, and I thank her for bringing me up.

SPEAKER_06 2:59

Thank you. Thank you so much for saying yes, first of all. Um backstory. I did, you know, I used to be want to be like a YouTube phenomenon when YouTube first came out. So I did interview him years, years, years ago before I had my ish together. But now we got some pro stuff going on.

SPEAKER_05 3:19

You can hear us clear, you know what I'm saying? We just stepped up in the world, okay? Period. We want some ground shit. You feel me?

SPEAKER_03 3:28

Yeah, adulting, adulting, adulting, adulting, okay.

SPEAKER_06 3:32

Okay, so there are so many questions that women have. Um, we're talking that we talk about with our friends, questions that we just that just keep us up at night. Um and it does it doesn't always feel safe to talk about them out loud. Questions about love and make signals while someone would show up one day and disappear the next. And I think the hardest part is not knowing if what we're experiencing is real or if it's just being played. So tonight's episode, we're gonna do something different. We're creating space for those questions to get asked and to answer, to be answered honestly. Not from a perfect man, but from a real one. A man who has lived, who has loved, who has lost, and who also has learned, who has been through relationships, marriage, fatherhood, and has come out with a lot of lessons. It isn't about attacking men, and it's not about protecting each other's feelings either. It's about understanding each other. So maybe if we can love each other better, we'll understand each other better. So, fellas, this is your moment. And ladies, this one is for you. So let's talk about it. Um yeah. Um, again, I'm happy to have you because I feel like you've lived so many different lives um to give insight on the before, after, and during. Um yeah, you're you're very wise. So let's just jump into it. Um when you think about your upbringing, right? Um, and you can, you know, give us some backstory on that as well. Um, what were you taught about love and relationships?

SPEAKER_04 5:18

Yeah, that's a strong way to come in. I I definitely respect that question because it had never been asked to me. Uh so when I think about upbringing, I really wasn't taught what love truly was. I just knew from what I saw. Uh, I grew up around a single mother, growing up as a child. And even throughout the years when she uh dated and married uh my stepfather, you know, I still wasn't taught what love looks like and what love was because in that itself was still like a uh a trauma for myself. Um so I only went off the experience of I didn't want to be like my father. I didn't want to grow up with a um household without a father being available. So when I wanted to have my own, I wanted that to look like an entire family itself. I wanted to give my children pure love. So from my understanding, I just did the best I could from what I thought was good.

SPEAKER_06 6:17

Gotcha, gotcha. So was it like, do you feel like when you were growing up it was not really displayed like how a man should treat a woman or vice versa?

SPEAKER_04 6:31

No, definitely not. Um the way I saw it, I only saw it from a woman's perspective. Because again, I was raised by a single woman, and then the women around that woman was more women. So I think in a way I lost a lot of things that a man would teach me about love. I only saw it from a side of a woman.

SPEAKER_06 6:48

Got you, got you. Do you feel like when you began to date, like, did you feel like that hindered you more? Because I know a lot of men are raised by single mothers. Um and that does change their view on women and dating. So do you how do you feel like that changed you?

SPEAKER_04 7:06

Uh definitely, um, I would say it teaches you, even though you're a man and you're supposed to be extremely masculine in a lot of areas, it made me understand emotion. It made me understand feeling and understanding. But in turn, I still was left out without that masculinity that I should have from a man's perspective.

SPEAKER_06 7:30

Okay, okay, okay. I'm I'm gonna be honest with you. I'm nervous as hell. Like, because this a lot of these questions are like, oh, okay, all right, I'm gonna just keep rolling. Because Lord have mercy. I just feel like it's about to get really deep. A lot of times men use the line like, I don't know. I wasn't taught that. I don't know how to love. In this world, do you think those are acceptable reasons to even just do the bare minimum or an excuse not to express themselves?

SPEAKER_04 8:06

That's that's I love your questions. Okay, so with that being said, I live by a model and skulls. A lot of men say I'm this way because I grew up without a father. A lot of women say I'm this way because of my mother. But it's like, how long do you carry on that excuse when you become an adult? Because life, all everything in life is a lesson that we all have to learn. But are you gonna continue living that moment and keep picking up and swallowing it down again? It's like, why keep making those excuses to put roadblocks on yourself?

SPEAKER_06 8:41

I like that. I like that. Amen. Okay, amen. All right, okay, so bringing up the topic um bare minimum, a lot of times people get into situations that maybe they're not like prepared for. So when it comes to a man, what do you think the bare necessities a man should have before they even start thinking about dating?

SPEAKER_04 9:14

Self-respect, self-confidence, self-love.

SPEAKER_06 9:20

Okay, okay. Why self-love?

SPEAKER_04 9:24

Because a lot of time we don't know how to love ourselves, and a man likes to feel needed, and something that that needed gets blinded with not knowing how to love yourself. And so we look at that woman as the person like you're supposed to love me this way, you're supposed to treat me this way, but a lot of time we get blinded because we don't know how to treat ourselves that way.

SPEAKER_05 9:44

Hello? Okay, that part.

SPEAKER_06 9:48

Um, so to kind of dive a little bit deeper as far as like we talked about like personal stuff, but as far as like um having things like job, car, whatever the case may be. Like, what do you think like the bare minimum in that aspect a man should have before they start dating?

SPEAKER_04 10:14

Young questions like that. Okay. I'm gonna start by saying this. I would say ambition because you can come to a relationship or any kind of ship that you call it with nothing or with something, you can either lose it or gain it. But when you had the ambition to continue to drive or to try to gain more or to try to build more. So in this aspect, I never look at relationships on what you can bring to the relationship or what do you have in a relationship because you can come to me with a credit score of 300 and but your heart a diamond, you know, but you can have a credit score of 700, but your heart is it's it's hardened, you know, it's dark.

SPEAKER_06 10:58

Right.

SPEAKER_04 10:58

So I don't look at those things uh when it comes to that because it's materialistic. Uh, I would definitely say if I had to put something on it, come into the relationship having God in your forefront. And that's how you maneuver through anything because it's easy. You can gain it, you can lose it just the same way.

SPEAKER_06 11:17

Gotcha. Gotcha. I feel like for women, uh it is like that, but again, being realistic in the world that we live in, it's like a lot of people, you you gotta go by what you see first sometimes. And sometimes, like, your first impression is a lasting impression. And in the dating world that we live in, it's like, okay, I need to know that this person is capable of having my back. You know what I'm saying? If something was to go down. So I feel like having ambition is major because that covers all territory. Like, ambition covers everything. Like, all right, if I'm sick, are you gonna be able to pick this up and keep moving? Are you gonna be able to, yeah? So I feel like that that's a great answer. That's a great answer. Um, well, you kind of covered it for women too, so um you stumped me with my humble questions. This is crazy. Um all right. So dating standards. When you get into a relationship with a woman, we're still talking about the bare minimum standards. Umatically, as a man, um, what are the standards that you're providing for your woman? Like when you when a woman comes to you, or just or what do you think like men in general should automatically no questions asked? These are the basic bare minimum standards that come with you as a as a man.

SPEAKER_04 12:57

Now, now when you asking me that question, are you saying from my own perspective or man in general?

SPEAKER_06 13:03

You can give both. Um, what you what you think, and what you think it should be for all, or like the standard for men should be like the basics. Like, you got men today that don't even open the door for women, and they feel like, well, shit, she got two arms, like she goes with her own door. Like, it's real, I've heard niggas really say that. So it's like, yeah, that's the type of world we live in in. So, like, for men in general, but for you, like, what is the standard for you?

SPEAKER_04 13:28

All right, I'm gonna come back to the uh response, but uh it's to answer the question. Um is definitely loyalty. Um, and when I bring when I bring it to loyalty, you know, this is the base of the course. The no entertainer of the man, no emotional, physical cheating, no confusion about commitment. Um, when I I would say number two would be respect. Like I'll talk, all men want respect. You know, I feel like we adults, so we should be we should know what disrespectful things are. Tone, mind, college, public embarrassment, things of that nature. Um, not talking about me to other men, she crossing different boundaries, you know. It's that's the respect line. And I again I believe every every woman, whether it's male or female, they should know those boundaries. Um three, are you about to say something?

SPEAKER_06 14:14

No.

SPEAKER_04 14:16

Okay. Uh next I was accountability. You know, uh, we all know what the word accountability means for a lot of women. And you know, she got on to actually, you know, no shift blaming. If we're gonna communicate about things, I think we should have a communicate, uh be able to communicate that with one another. If you ask me to open up as a man and express my emotions, listen, hear my emotions. Let's talk about my emotions. But if you only doing this for the 10th because you want to get your emotions out, and you only want me to hear your side, that's not gonna work. Right, it's gonna be a back-and-forth shift. Uh is it gonna lead to those no idea because and but uh it's gonna lead to all of those.

SPEAKER_07 14:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 14:54

Uh uh fourth will be definitely communication, you know. Again.

SPEAKER_05 14:58

Fourth is what communication. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 15:02

And uh you try to get my memphys out.

SPEAKER_04 15:09

Oh, you know, communicating, you know, again. Let me say this for the culture. When you communicate with your partner, speak on the issues before they blow up. Meaning, don't hold those in because you're gonna explode like a volcano.

SPEAKER_06 15:26

All right, so I'm gonna cut you off because I know you didn't answer like 17 questions already that I got. Oh, look at me. Look at me. Look at you rolling. Let me reel you back. Let me reel you back. All right, so I love those answers though, because a lot of times you're not you're not giving me surface answers. So I feel like a lot of times when people think about the bare minimum, you took that question and you flipped it to where it's like, no, these are standards. Nobody thinks about I'm thinking about girls coming into like a situation, like, yeah, he gotta have six figures, he gotta be six foot, he gotta be, but nobody's thinking about those other things. Like, yeah, you want he has all these things, but is he communicating with you? Is he shutting down? Is he expressing himself? Is he giving you a safe space to express yourself? Is he does he have emotional intelligence like these? Yeah, Marquise. Hello? Yeah, a plus for you. No, I'm gonna stop you because I know I know where you were going with that. All right, we're gonna take a few steps back, okay?

SPEAKER_05 16:31

All right, let's give it. Damn, all right.

SPEAKER_06 16:36

I forgot who I was talking to. I should have made these questions way harder, way harder. Alright, so in that regard, um, why does it seem like men are more attracted to toxic behavior than the standard regular, you know, the girls that just don't get into nothing? Like, why does it seem like the stra uh the attraction is to that constant rrr, like attitude?

SPEAKER_04 17:10

Every time you speak, I gotta answer already.

SPEAKER_05 17:13

I know, dang. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_04 17:18

So this goes back to what you said. You said most men were raised by single women. If you look at a man who grew up around single women, he's he's only known drama, toxic behavior, and trauma that he done dealt with over life. So by the time he gets become an adult man, he only going out to something that's familiar that makes him comfortable. So when somebody's too nice, it's almost like uh this is this scary, this ain't this don't seem right. So he's gonna go out to something that's familiar for him.

SPEAKER_06 17:56

Okay, okay. And I think it's the same thing for women too. Because it's like a woman who I feel like it was in a very toxic childhood, grew up in a house where the father was kind of like whether it was verbal abuse, physical abuse, or whatever the case may be, they look for that as like a form of protection from it, like, oh damn, if he's not this type, if he's not aggressive, he don't love me. If he's not X, Y, and Z, he's not, you know what I'm saying? Which is terrible. So I feel like that's even on both women and men's side. Right, right. Okay, let's talk about privacy. Um why don't men post a girl on social media?

SPEAKER_04 18:42

Ooh, that's a different question. I can't speak for a lot of men. Um I can again for speak for myself. I didn't have a problem doing that. I uh it only became a problem when old things pop up. And I think a lot of times, and I can speak for men and say, I think a lot of times, don't know men want to hear in boxing messages and be like, oh, I know this one or I mentioned a woman before in this scenario, blah, blah, blah. A lot of women believe that only women gossip, but men when men gossip about a woman, shh.

SPEAKER_06 19:19

What they be saying, what they say.

SPEAKER_04 19:21

Tell me what they're doing. Go look up Steve Harvey's book.

SPEAKER_06 19:26

Oh, but I got it. That's crazy. Wow. That's petty. Don't throw Steve Harvey into the phone.

SPEAKER_04 19:33

That's terrible. You won't get it for me.

SPEAKER_06 19:37

Oh, you're gonna hold it down for the culture. I see. Okay, okay. Don't give up all the secrets. That's fine.

SPEAKER_05 19:42

Um give me one like hey. Uh oh man, Gocko, Gaco.

SPEAKER_04 19:53

Okay, next you gonna offer me a coke and a cigarette.

SPEAKER_06 19:56

Hey, tell it all, tell it all. Um okay, all right. So, still dealing with like social media and stuff, um for when it's comfortable, I guess, for the for the men. How long after you date someone is it okay to post on social media? Like, when is it appropriate to start posting that person on social media?

SPEAKER_04 20:20

Immediately.

SPEAKER_06 20:23

Why so?

SPEAKER_04 20:24

Because if this person says they're down for you, why wait? I feel like the sooner you do things, the more stuff is exposed early rather than giving them time to clean up. Like say if you are with somebody and they claim that they're down with certain people and certain individuals, and then you post them and they're like, hold on. Uh, I was just talking to them last night. You know? I ain't waiting for nothing. I need immediately things to happen.

SPEAKER_05 20:54

Exactly. Okay, all right.

SPEAKER_06 20:56

Wow. All right. You heard that, ladies? Ladies, but the ones in the back, immediately don't wait. It don't take them six months to fix. Oh, sorry. Okay, so let's talk about fears a little bit. Um, what are some fears that men have about picking one woman over another when it comes to commitment?

SPEAKER_04 21:24

Picking one woman over another. Picking the wrong one. You know, uh, a woman can come with a mask on. You know, a lot of women know how to I don't want to use the term manipulate, but another woman know how to put on a character to get what she wants.

SPEAKER_05 21:46

Okay.

unknown 21:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 21:47

And she knows this man is that six figure man, six two. She knows how to switch into character. Vice versa, a woman who genuinely actually cares, you know, and you care about you being a six figure or a six foot man, but you will never know the difference because. the one who can put on the carrot can exits like the normal one.

SPEAKER_06 22:04

Okay. So how do they know? Like, you know that's a saying where um like there's signs, right? What are some signs that men look for that you would look for um we if you're dating to marry or if you just date and to just you know string someone along? How do you like what are the signs?

SPEAKER_04 22:27

Uh really it's no signs. It's just um a chance and on top of that uh if you do see a sign it's only gonna be something familiar from a past relationship.

unknown 22:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 22:41

So you look for those uh combative attitudes you look for those tough masculine women who really don't have a soft girl era they call it it's like I don't need you to be hard all the time I don't need you to act like me all the time.

SPEAKER_06 22:58

I need a soft woman you know I need someone who can speak to me calmly and have a conversation so I can bring that piece for you because I don't want to go too deep into your uh question but I ain't stopped you yet so go ahead we I'm I'm I'm gonna pull the reins in a second go ahead I would give I would give women a uh a token if you you speak calmly to a man in a way where he understands and hears you keyword hears you you can gain anything you want for that man he would give you the word but if you always combat over him always argumental and just on him on his back that man would be man would take out emotionally before they even take action stop stop okay I told y'all I told y'all cut it dang okay okay so piggy backing off of that question have you been ever have you ever been asked the question what are we or like what are we doing and what do you feel like why do you feel like women ask those questions like what triggering those those even on men on the man's side like what would trigger those questions so a women's perspective why why do I feel like a woman asks us that question what are we the laugh is killing me though it's the laugh for me like it's like an evil doctor laugh like ha hey y'all about to get y'all niggas play yeah because I I know I know a lot of people like play so instead of being real so um the real the real honest uh response today is I be I feel like because it's almost like the question you just asked me how do I know if it's that are you that person if that's that woman and the same goes for women I feel like she's juggling between is he the right man am I wasting my time and uh for a man the same thing you know if a man asks that question nine times ten is it's somebody else he's trying to cut off it ain't it ain't a question just for him at that moment but it's like okay if I'm asking this one when I went she see me seeing her hit me with the I don't know or I told you just give her some time I'm instantly thinking oh she got other niggas you know facts facts facts so I ain't finna waste that time so I'm gonna move accordingly and so I'm like okay let me let me play around there and use it what end up happening in that moment by the time she settled down or she feels like she's ready she asked me the claim question now I gotta slowly cut down the females I don't get yeah that's that's ain't that a crazy game and I feel like more so well let me ask you this when it comes to a woman asking a man that do you feel like it that comes from um the lack of evidence of him showing that he wants to commit or he wants to take it to the next level do you think that he's just he's showing signs of being unsure now when you speak on that let's be realistically a lot of times when we are dating in a relationship whether it's a month two months who's doing the most to show that they want that person usually it's the man right yeah correct yeah okay and it's almost like a battleground because now I'm not only competing to show you who I am but I'm also competing against the other man that she was already talking to and then when I get you I'm still competing to keep you vice versa a woman don't have to work that hard she can go out there and say single and she get flooded she gets flooded she she she get the she get the word and it's and it's really because you know it's it's the it's the sex it's the it's the not the like the physical sex but it's the gender yeah um I can be attractive dude I can be Chris Brown.

SPEAKER_04 27:26

Chris Brown ain't gonna say nothing he's gonna get flooded with women. Right right but that type of attention it's it's gonna get a baddie with a BBL you know she ain't got to say two words but her inbox flooded yeah yeah and that's usually what happened I think once uh any any journey get the attention um they know I don't need you I don't want you yeah like the thrill is over kind of yeah it's in the head and dopamine go through their body and it's just like it's nothing like that's why I say a lot of people go through honeymoon phases and they want that continuous through the relationship. But they don't know how to fight to keep their relationship because they want that high all the time like an addict.

SPEAKER_06 28:06

Right. And I feel like again asking questions that's why it's important to talk to the person that you're interested in because I feel like if I'm dating to Mary or I'm date I'm really seriously looking for my person. I feel like I shouldn't have to ask those questions because I feel like if we're we're dating and I'm not asking you that in week two but I feel like all right we four months in five six months in I should already know based on what we got going on right where we going and as a man who's serious about where he's going you should have already hinted to me at that point where we're going or what you have planned right right amen amen snaps snaps uh yeah we kind of already answered it all right so what is dating and is there a right or wrong way to do it I know part of your answer already because I just know what where you would take it but go ahead and answer the question so this it's a flashback but dating for me though uh like I said um in previous interviews um I don't I don't date to date for a girlfriend I date for a wife I'm coming into that relationship instantly and it's like you can be my wife I'm not I'm not wasting time it's almost like I'm looking for those characteristics I'm giving you those attributes as a man that looks like a husband and that's how I'm coming to you in a relationship.

SPEAKER_04 29:59

Again I'm not the type to be out here just to say oh I want you because I want a girlfriend no I want to be on a foundation I'm trying to build something and I need somebody that's gonna fight with me okay period okay you heard that so you are really good at this good job good job um so when a man is really in love or you or whatever um what does that look like how does that feel can you stop laughing on every question because they they just you hit me with these questions and they just like wow you know I love that I love that reaction with my questions though I loved it yeah but it's like uh it's like no matter what goes on in this world because I know the word is against me especially as a black man I know this woman at home loves me and and it gives me you a different type of high and and and when that woman gives you things such as children such as peace the high increases even more is a different experience okay wow um do men know early on like how well or how early do they know um if they see a future with a woman like do they know like instantaneously yes 100% why you say that because we instantly it's it's something about a woman that you know like oh man she ain't like none of the women I've been with in my past it's a it's it can be a woman who's been through life and she just in her ends when she's tired and we sense that we can be like oh that's why man it's that's why it's so easy women listen up in the back I'm gonna give y'all another token stop being vulnerable to random strangers stop being vulnerable to your exes their exes for a reason because all you're doing is taking your relationship and your problems and what you're feeling in that moment and a man is going to use that to gain what he wants if you telling me I just want to feel seen I just want to be hurt he's never done this to me and all this blase blase guess what that man ain't gonna do it's okay I don't want you to treat you like that baby I can make you feel good he's gonna say you everything you basically get him a blue book on what to avoid and then you turn around and wonder why six months down the line he just like the next one then next thing you know you're on social media posting niggas ain't shit hilarious but you never took that time to heal okay okay that's a good one um is there a timeline on healing when you're healing from a relationship no no no no it's definitely not a timeline on healing I took even after you heal you only learn to survive when people I you know I don't like that uh the term of self-healing and it's because again I'm structured in a way where I I follow God's laws and the way he looks in the world God said it's it's bad for a man to be alone and so he created a helpmate a lot of people get the term helpmate wrong because they think of a slave and that's not how he designed it the helpmate is to keep the man motivated the helpmate is to be there with the man but he also has a duty to treat that woman as a church so I don't like that term self-love I don't like it because it's it's self whenever you put self in something that's wrong. God said the two come together what is that everything in the world takes more than one so when you're doing selfless things you're not gaining anything. You wasn't even brought into this world alone.

SPEAKER_06 34:28

So what makes you think you can handle it alone facts yeah I don't believe that we're supposed to be in this world alone because it's like it's no fun. It's just no fun. And it's like I think about when I get old and like even if my person passes away before me I know like the journey that we had um to this point like I had a person I had somebody to experience life with to have memories with like that's that's what's important to me to be able to have somebody to just share this journey with you know along the way and for it to be happy and fun and just to create new memories that we can pass down to our children and their children. Like that's I feel like that is the pursuit of life right like happiness or is that the statement the pursuit of happiness yeah the pursuit of happiness right no that's not it that's right that's right 100% okay because I know there is a there is a specific like pursuit of happiness life liberty whatever like the I think that's bullshit but whatever the pursuit of happiness I feel like is to share life experiences with somebody and to create generational memories period um yeah so why do men pull back when things start to get serious see a request on my laptop because it's like answer answer okay so that goes back a couple questions ago when I said a lot of people don't think men check out emotionally but a lot of men do.

SPEAKER_04 36:06

Hold on I think you hacked my phone because you just literally bypassed a whole nother question did you like okay continue like you literally hacked my phone like oh my God all right man check out emotionally the same way a woman would check out okay a man you can almost go when a man takes out emotionally it looks like hey honey I'm going out to the club all right bye hey honey I got this on today okay see you later you don't care about y'all nah not real but that's when a man check out like that it's it's nothing you can say to him because he like this woman don't respect me she don't care about me she don't love me right now I'm just in a situation for her comfort and the last thing you want a man to do is feel like he only being used for her comfort why do men do that though because it's it's men invest.

SPEAKER_06 37:01

When we look at things they we invest in everything we do it's rare that you might see a woman investing into a man for the relationship but a man invests everything for that one woman wow so when he feels like he wasted his investment it's just like all right yeah I wasted all these all this time all these years and a lot of people go straight to money bills no time you can't get that back you can't get that back and they can go on both sides that could be man and woman but more so a man um a great example would be how many women do you know would pick up a man from a McDonald's and try to lift him up vice versa a man picking a woman from McDonald's trying to build her up I I think for men it's the chase and the challenge like I can take this and turn this into something versus women look at it from a provision standpoint. What can this man do for me? How can this man uh keep me safe, provide for me? So in in the first aspect, like men, yeah they like the chase they like the challenge. They like to see they like to feel needed at the end of the day. So in that aspect of it yeah man would be able to take a woman from the bottom and raise her up and you know and turn her into something um it would take a special woman to a selfless like you said a selfless woman to look past that flaw most women aren't be on it completely honest a lot of women want you come ready made they want you to to have it they don't want to have to try to figure out they don't really want to fix her unless they already in a situation where they need fixing themselves but um nah most women nah they not going to McDonald's they looking at you in the drive-thru window getting their food and they out like mm-mm nah so yeah okay mm-mm alright so I'm gonna I'm gonna throw a game in the mix and then I'm gonna go back because it's getting deep um these next couple questions I think you I think you'll be okay it's a game it's like a rapid fire game um so I'm gonna give you some words or a situation and the first thing that comes to your head you know and then depending on your answer we'll dive in um first one love or respect respect peace or passion peace okay good woman or fun woman good emotional connection physical attraction emotional connection loyalty or honesty loyalty all right we're gonna have to we're gonna have to back up wow you said loyalty over honesty a hundred percent loyalty over honesty honesty is temporarily loyalty is forever okay alright and okay okay good woman over a fun woman why did why did you pick that a fun woman a fun woman only fun for special occasions she can be fun only for certain aspects versus a good woman can be fun she my woman yeah okay all right I like that I like that and I think for women not to get it messed up like yes we know good women can be fun but you know the fun girl that we're talking about the one who's like yeah we in the club we turned up strippers doing the most just outside all the stripes in everybody's face in everybody's face right just everybody know where she on the scene like you know that's that's like the definition of a fun girl there's nothing wrong with like hey you are who you are but just as far as like you know what men look to as far as like commitment I don't are they marrying a fun girl maybe if they fun boys no good man looking for no fun girl I think okay okay okay um what's the biggest mistake you made in a relationship that you realized that you didn't realize until it was too late being a yes man elaborate uh doing so much trying to please a person when I forgot to actually look at the person for who they were okay all right I'm hesitant about this next question okay fuck it fuck it have you oh god and it's it's it's stemming from like you know like I say you are an author um and in your first book um you talked about a lot of things that you went through a lot of relationships um and things that you've learned and lost and that's kind of why I threw that in there because you were very vulnerable in your book um and you spoke on situations that you learned from that help you become the man that you are today.

SPEAKER_04 42:36

So have you ever lost someone or like a good relationship or a friend um because you weren't ready and what did it teach you a hundred percent uh I did lose somebody that I was definitely um connected with very strong um was really like my lifetime partner that they say yeah so this person definitely was somebody close um I can look at us a brother sister spouse wife they was like my twin like a yin yang but uh from my experiences from past relationships I didn't understand what healing was I didn't even understand what trauma was or what those emotions was at that moment uh I just knew I didn't want to be alone and I went for the first thing that was available to me. And when that happened when I healed because of that person I realized I was never ready for the relationship. I was still going through healing myself and that was like a lesson for me in life uh going forward because I knew what it was like to have a woman to treat you like a king, to have a woman who actually genuinely loves you and respects you.

unknown 43:59

Mm-hmm

SPEAKER_04 44:00

And with that person, even going through my marriage, um, I never had a woman like that. And you would and a lot of people would laugh and say, Yeah, you had a wife, but she never said, Yeah, I had a girlfriend treated me better than a wife. You know, sad to say I used to tell her that a lot of times.

SPEAKER_06 44:20

And her as far as her response, as far as like, did it make her feel bad, or was it something that it helped her improve, like by you saying that, like, did that help her like want to do more for you? Or no?

SPEAKER_04 44:31

Oh, no, not a long shot, no. Uh, and a lot of times it came out during arguments. Um, and a lot of times she just kind of blew past it, like, you know, whatever. And um, but she never tried to transforward or anything. And I just paid attention to the characteristics. Like, I had a woman who actually cared. I actually had a woman who loved the things that I did, was interested in my talents and things like that. And to be married to somebody who didn't, it puts you in the headspace, like, damn, who did I marry?

SPEAKER_06 45:03

Wow, that's a really a show, too. Like, who did I marry? Like, that's really a thing. Um, so you're not alone in that question. Um so why do men stay in relationships that they know aren't right for them? Outside of outside of the children.

SPEAKER_04 45:20

The investment that goes back to that. The time. Um, like I said, when a man settled down with a woman, he's he's giving everything up. Everything. And it's like, all right, you the woman. I ain't going out there no more. I'm gonna leave I'm gonna leave Keisha them alone. Yeah, um I'm gonna leave my peace alone because now I'm not only living for me, I'm living for this woman as well.

SPEAKER_05 45:44

Wow, yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 45:48

Um something that hurts most men in relationships, but they'll never say it out loud.

SPEAKER_04 46:00

Well, another man can get your woman the same way you got her.

SPEAKER_06 46:07

That's like ultimate.

SPEAKER_04 46:09

Yeah, a lot of times the woman that you lose, you gonna lose her the same way that you got her.

SPEAKER_06 46:16

Wow. Okay. Um I don't know if that kind of goes into this next question, but you you let me know. Um, what does emotional portrayal feel like from a man's perspective?

SPEAKER_04 46:32

Uh if you're not a strong man, it almost feels like death. Like it's like somebody very close to you dying and you can't do nothing about it. But the person that died, that's where that response will come from. So to know that the betrayal has happened in your relationship and this person is still alive on earth, it hurts more because you gotta deal and see this person. You gotta see what they going, what they're doing, what they growing through. So it hurts a little bit more than death.

SPEAKER_06 47:03

Wow. Wow. I could literally agree with that because I think from even from a female, we always say like women, we uh we love hard and things like that. I honestly feel like men love harder than women because it takes y'all longer to, like you said, it's an investment. So I feel like it takes y'all longer to be more emotional available. We're already hardwired that way. So when y'all actually open that gate of emotions and it and it gets tainted, it's just like I'll never love again.

SPEAKER_04 47:36

I could never like that's the creation of a sandwich. Uh F N. Wow That's the creation of niggas ain't shit. That's the creation of in the beginning.

SPEAKER_05 47:53

Literally.

SPEAKER_06 47:54

Oh wow. Okay. So what's something uh men are insecure about, but women would never expect?

SPEAKER_04 48:05

Women would never do what again?

SPEAKER_06 48:07

I said, what is something that men are insecure about that women would never expect? Like we would never think y'all are insecure about it.

SPEAKER_04 48:15

Oh. Uh that's a tough one. I can't, yeah. That's a real tough one. I can't speak for a lot of men. Yes. Because a lot of men walk around with alpha, you got alpha males.

SPEAKER_07 48:28

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04 48:28

You got betas. You got men who don't have a lot of confidence. It's so many different types of men, so I can't really speak on that. Uh for me, not feeling attractive enough. You know, women think they the only ones who think, oh, I can't look wait. He thinks I'm fat. She may think the same thing.

unknown 48:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 48:48

If I gas away, would she go out here and go look for uh six-pack bow? Six pack who you know, the chocolate dark skin with the beard. And the thing is sad because a lot of women would know that man, that type of man will have a flu a flock of women.

SPEAKER_06 49:08

Right.

SPEAKER_04 49:09

But they still want them.

SPEAKER_06 49:10

Right. Yeah. They go for what everybody else goes for and wonder why you get cheated on.

SPEAKER_02 49:15

Yep. And yep, that's exactly what happens.

SPEAKER_06 49:19

Um, wow, you kind of answered the other one. Um Wow, okay, I'm gonna skip that one because you basically answered it. Uh what why does that let me see? No, I'm not gonna ask you that one either. Cause you gotta know what you're gonna say. How does an ego get in the way of the way men love?

SPEAKER_04 49:44

You say ego?

SPEAKER_07 49:45

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04 49:47

Um It all depends on the level of that man's ego as well. Um, if that man can't let go of that ego and their pride, it can also hit her him even trying to love because he just feels like I don't I can't have anybody really I want.

SPEAKER_06 50:06

So gosh.

SPEAKER_04 50:09

Like cocky kind of, like very cocky, very um strong-minded man. You won't really find those an average man, you'll find those more slow than those wealthy men or the alpha type of guys.

SPEAKER_06 50:25

I feel like age has a lot to do with that too. Like you'll have different egos look different at different ages, where you have like younger men who just feel like, yeah, I'm I'm the ish, I'm just um, but then you have older men who say, I've been through some shit. I know what I did, I didn't worked hard, what's good? Like, so I feel like age plays a part too on whatever what that ego with depending on the guy, like what that ego actually looks like.

SPEAKER_04 50:51

I can agree to that.

unknown 50:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 50:55

Um sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_06 51:06

What why do men keep ties with women from their past?

SPEAKER_02 51:14

I guess the same question.

SPEAKER_05 51:17

Facts, right? Oh shit.

SPEAKER_04 51:21

Oh uh, you know, I don't know. Um, I can only say if that woman was a good woman to him, that could be a reason. But a lot of times man just only missed the pussy.

unknown 51:36

Hey.

SPEAKER_04 51:38

That just as real as I can get with it.

SPEAKER_06 51:40

And just trying to see if they still got it.

SPEAKER_04 51:43

Still they still can get her.

SPEAKER_06 51:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 51:45

Self that like uh uh like I told y'all, I was married. My ex went back to her ex with her first love.

unknown 51:56

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 51:56

Um, and the guy told her that he waited 10 years for her entire marriage. And then they talked about what it's like to raise a family and my children with her. So again, he waited and got what he wanted and then he left. So they ought to let you know how it would feel to deal with betrayal. How does it feel to feel like I invested everything? Those are things that a lot of men don't speak on, you just kinda learn to survive with it.

SPEAKER_05 52:34

Right, right. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_06 52:39

Um location sharing. Do you feel that sharing a location is more about safety or control?

SPEAKER_04 52:53

You got me. Um it is a safety thing, it is a control thing, but it's also scenario-based as well, case by case.

SPEAKER_07 53:07

Case by case.

SPEAKER_04 53:08

They say if y'all just want to know each other's location because of safety reasons, or just because you want to know your spouse, okay, that's that's casual. But if this person was a cheater and they did things, and now they're trying to prove to you, hey, this is warm aid, this is what I'm doing, then they can they can come off as control, and it's gonna come off as like I don't trust you. But why would you live your life like that?

SPEAKER_06 53:32

Right, right. I feel like um it's a case-by-case situation, and also you gotta know your person. If you know that you're dealing with somebody who's in already insecure, I don't think that needs to be a situation until that person can uh get that under control. Um, but I also believe in unlimited reassurance, and I know like if I have nothing to hide, you can know where I am. I'm gonna tell you where I'm at. And then to keep that line of communication. So, like if I know you got trust issues, if I know something that's something that you working on, I'm gonna make that process easy for you. Like, all right, where you at? I'm right here. You know what I'm saying? I feel like as it's a it's a partnership. If you really date into Mary or whatever the case may be, I feel like we do have to make those acts of of like service. That's an act of service. Like, I know you struggle with this, so let me how what can I do to alleviate some of that tension in your brain about what's going on? Like, I know what you've been through. So here's my location. You need to know where I'm at, X, Y, Z, but then you know, you just gotta gauge your person, I guess. Um, right, and if they they take advantage of that, start pulling up on you, doing weird shit, then yeah, we gonna have to take we're gonna have to take your privileges away. Um facts. Um truth or myth? When a man takes you to meet his mother, that means he's taking you serious.

SPEAKER_04 55:01

Truth.

SPEAKER_06 55:03

That's bullshit. I'm sorry. That is bullshit. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_04 55:09

Give me your reason because you cover to meet somebody that close to me. Well, I told you I read my single mother.

SPEAKER_05 55:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 55:17

And if she don't approve you an anal in health, and then try to bring you on.

SPEAKER_07 55:22

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 55:22

Um, so again, but then again, it all depends on the relationship, the relationship of that man and his mom. He actually don't like his mom, man. He just brings you around because you with him.

SPEAKER_06 55:32

Yeah, facts, facts. Only reason why I say that's bullshit because niggas will really have you partnering with their mom and be like the mom know all the chicks. She didn't cook for all the chicks. She didn't like, oh, that's oh hey, baby, hey, like you got some friendly ass mothers out there. That's why I don't really, I don't really try to get close to them. Cause I feel like sometimes the parent be in cahoots with the BS.

SPEAKER_04 55:58

Yeah, it all depends on who the mom is.

SPEAKER_06 56:00

Yeah, thanks. Um, okay. Um yeah. So uh what did marriage teach you about dating? What did marriage teach you that dating never could?

SPEAKER_04 56:18

It's a job. Uh you can't just get up and walk out. Um you have to learn to communicate. You have to learn to compromise, not just for yourself. Um It's almost like a partnership. It's like a it's like a partnership for a business. Like you gotta know how to take chances together, make sacrifices. A lot of things. Um people treat relationships like a marriage, but it's really not blessed or ordained because God's not in that. As much as you might fight for, oh, we've been together 10, 15 years, but y'all not married. God not in there.

SPEAKER_06 57:07

Right.

SPEAKER_04 57:08

Y'all, y'all just lusting, y'all just fornicating.

SPEAKER_06 57:11

Right. Thanks. Um what's something you wish you understood before you said I do?

SPEAKER_04 57:23

The the person, the person I was with.

SPEAKER_06 57:29

Wow. Like understood them more as a person or like like what you were getting yourself into?

SPEAKER_04 57:34

Yeah, I wish I would have seen behind the mask instead of off the butterflies and honeymoon faced.

SPEAKER_06 57:41

Gotcha. Um why do you think marriage is so frowned upon, but cheating amongst men is normalized?

SPEAKER_04 57:51

You said marriage is frowned upon.

SPEAKER_06 57:54

But cheating amongst men, like amongst the men, like most men will say all men cheat. Like that's that's like a normal thing for like, oh yeah, all niggas cheat. What's up? Like, but then when it comes to marriage, it's like a completely different attitude or a completely different mindset.

SPEAKER_04 58:12

Again, if it's marriage, the man chose that woman. Like, he knows that's her, that's his person. He ain't gotta worry about her being out there like the fun girl. Uh and when it comes to men cheating, again, man are the men that are out there cheating on the fun boys, they still can't let it go.

SPEAKER_06 58:34

Why do you think it's frowned upon though? Like, why do you think like men will glorify cheating over marriage?

SPEAKER_04 58:42

It's an ego thing. It's like, it's like again, they say I'm married, right? Um, if a man got my wife, well, technically he did, but a man got my wife um for the rest of my life. If I was ever in a circle, man, he can he can ego boost and uh yeah, I fucked his wife. Or I sat with his woman. It's an ego, it makes him feel good, but turn me down, you know.

SPEAKER_07 59:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 59:17

And again, I ain't gonna be in that circle, but now he got he got some kind of layers to talk. It's like an ego boost for a man.

SPEAKER_07 59:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 59:23

Like, yeah, I had that girl, like I did that girl, you know. Women don't go around like that. You know, they'll try. You got some masculine women to go out there and be like, yeah, I had I had that man, I had him. But almost so long, it makes her look like a, you know, 304. So and then again, a lot of a lot of men know that women cheat are based on a lot of emotions tied to it. Um meanwhile, that's why a lot of women don't get caught. Talking, talking men out there. Um women don't get caught because men don't talk. You can get a woman and she'll say, I got a man call me at two o'clock. Don't call me after this time. That man gonna follow those rules.

unknown 1:00:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:00

But you get a man who's cheating. If he takes that woman that her emotions are gonna get tired of it, why you can't call me out there? Just tell her you don't want to be with her, just tell y'all know.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:10

Right. Yeah. Yeah. I'm with you when you're right. I ain't even gonna lie, I can't got nothing to say.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:23

Cause like I don't understand, like, what we doing? Like, uh clearly she not the one.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:27

So uh terrible.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:35

What we doing? Right. You already knew what we were doing. I got it, you have you already knew. Don't be delusional. Um, what is something women don't realize matters to men when it comes to intimacy?

SPEAKER_04 1:00:53

Body count. Do I need to say it for the people in the back?

SPEAKER_05 1:01:06

I literally had to step back from the light. Okay, alright, why?

SPEAKER_04 1:01:13

Again, it's an ego. It's a um, it's a who am I walking with around in public. I don't want to be seen as a dude who who with the girl who who got ran through in the gym in high school. I don't want to be the dude who slept with everybody in town, yeah, and then call her my queen.

unknown 1:01:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:32

You know, uh, and then it also let us know how you look at yourself.

unknown 1:01:37

Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:38

How how you hold values and what you think about how you carry yourself as a woman. So it teaches us a lot. And a lot of times people like to say the past don't matter. If that was true, I told y'all I go to God every time.

unknown 1:02:00

Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:01

God won't write the Bible about the past, present, and future. And that was true. When you go to a job, they won't they won't grow and talk about the past, present, and future. Even when you grow through high school, when you live in your parents' household, you have to learn about the past, present, and future to manage through life. So why do you not apply those same rules into your relationship and your body count with past people you slept with?

SPEAKER_06 1:02:28

So I have a question. Right? And I get how that is, how that goes for like ego and stuff from men. Um, but why is it like it feels kind of like one-sided sometimes? Like, why is it more important for um a woman's body count? But when you think about a man, like why is it not like it's normal for a man to have a lot of notches on his belt and it's not looked at as like like I feel like it's an ego thing too. Women don't want a man that's been ran through, been up in every single, you know what I'm saying? Like, why isn't it equal on that on that statement?

SPEAKER_04 1:03:06

Well, one I am designed our body, no, I'm just playing. But um, again, it's because when a woman's sleeping with a man, he's allowing that man to conquer her, to to dominate over her body. And even when he's done, part of him go stay with her for at least 10 to 15, something years. That's why you got a lot of people around here be like, uh, your son don't look like you can't look like your ex-boyfriend because his DNA is inside her body.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:40

Whoa.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:41

Oh people don't know that. You need to study. Whoa.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:48

People didn't know that, you need to study. Get your ass off.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:53

But when it comes to a man again, it's really no attachment. A man can just be horny and want to get one off. It's just simple him watching a porno and getting one off and won't think nothing else of it. That's what they say. You in a lessure going to bathroom jack up before you go off, before you go out. Yeah. And so you feel the same. You won't. There's no emotion, it's nothing tied to it. So I think in a man's mindset, it's like, I don't have no connection with this woman.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:17

Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:18

And that's why that's why I did what I did.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:21

Do you feel like um a woman's uh childhood plays a part in her being promiscuous early? And do you feel like as she gets older and she's learned from those things, do you think that she gets a pass for that? Or do you feel like um, as long as she's learned from those mistakes, do you feel like that body count should still be in effect if if there's a backstory?

SPEAKER_04 1:04:48

Now, definitely. Um, she definitely gets a pass, but also she has to have grown for that.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:54

Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:55

And it's also case by case because a lot of women in our culture have been through uh childhood trauma, molestation with family members. Um and that has caused them to burden that, keep that in. And what that does is when they get older or get become teenagers, now they got this influence by other women who dealt with the same things. And that only comfort is like being with different men and saying, Well, oh, I look like this now, or I got breast now, you know, and it carries on into adult stages. And by the time they become the woman, they done mature so early that it's like it's nothing satisfies them. Um I just I want to tell y'all this book I read, but it's almost saying if a woman had many different men, let's say she had different men from different sizes, so she had a horse, some women had shrimps, some women had me, all different types of men in her body. If this one man picks her in the He wants to marry her, that one will never be satisfied with him.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:06

Because she's had all those different experiences versus it being her first or close to, like, you know, lower experiences. Okay. Correct. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:15

So she always goes search for another day. She goes search for a familiar experience, but also trying to create new experiences with the person she will. And that would be so hard for her to do.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:27

Okay. I like that answer. Okay. Um. All right. How much do a man's friends influence his relationship decisions?

SPEAKER_04 1:06:43

A lot. Again, it's because back to the ego thing. You don't want to be that dude. Like, damn, you you dating who? Keys. She fucked him, Chris, Sam. You know, you don't want to be, you don't want to be that guy.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:00

You know.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:01

What about a man who um if you in a circle of guys who condone cheating, but you are a married man or you're a man who doesn't condone cheating, do you feel like a person can be can still have those type of friends and still be faithful? Hell no.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:22

Get the fuck out. Get out of that friendship circle.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:26

Okay. Why do you feel like that?

SPEAKER_04 1:07:30

Because it's only it's a circle who flops together. Gonna do the same thing. It's like saying if a girl hang around a bunch of females that you know hoes, eventually she's gonna get influenced.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:47

Yeah. And I I think at this age, it's different when we was growing up making friends. Like we all was in the same neighborhood, or we all went to the same school. So we had a lot of similarities. Like we might have played the same sports. So we had a lot of things in common. So outside of relationships and stuff, we we had other things to gel on. So I think when you get older, you have more control over uh who your friend's circle is. So if you know that like this person is always cheating on their girl, like this been your dude since high school, he's always just a cheater. That's all he does is cheat. That's what he's known for, is cheating. But that's your man though. You gonna stick beside him?

SPEAKER_04 1:08:32

Hell no, I'm gonna tell him about himself.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:36

You gonna stop being his friend or what you gonna do? Um, what would you do? Like, uh like would you still be his friend or would you I hear from a distance a hundred percent? Okay. Alright, we're coming to the close. I just got a few more questions for you. Um Yeah, we're not we gonna skip that. Why do men keep coming back even though they don't want anything serious?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:22

I told you at the beginning. They want their coop.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:26

Desperate, okay, gotcha. Even though they feel so you feel like it's all sex related.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:31

Yeah, it's ego boost. It's they went out there and ventured, they want social media, and it ain't even just a man thing, it's a woman thing as well. They want something familiar before they go out and adventure something new.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:42

Gotcha. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:44

Um, all right. So how did being a father change you as a man?

SPEAKER_04 1:09:54

It slowed me down, it uh showed me that a lot of things I thought mattered didn't matter, and I actually have another life to to focus on ready than my own.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:05

Gotcha. Um, what are some values about relationships and women you want to instill in your son?

SPEAKER_03 1:10:18

Save to me and you just say but no, treat each woman with respect, treat them as you would, your mom, your grandmom, your auntie.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:30

Um just show how much you care. And don't set your values aside for a woman who really don't show you the respect that you need.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:39

Okay, gotcha.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:41

Um, let's see. What's something you didn't understand about women until you had a daughter?

SPEAKER_04 1:10:51

Well, that's kind of tough because even my daughter being young, uh, it just slowly showing me like how women need their father and need their guidance because a lot of times they don't know the other side whether they're being emotional. So I think it teaches them how to get out of their emotional state for a minute and focus on the real life issue.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:10

Gotcha. Okay. Um what does a healthy love or a healthy relationship look like to you now?

SPEAKER_04 1:11:23

When two people can communicate um and compromise to come to a conclusion or decision instead of being cabal with one another.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:36

Gotcha. All right. Um what kind of woman brings out the best in a man?

SPEAKER_01 1:11:48

Spiritual. Spiritual.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:51

Spiritual, very spiritual, yeah, very as far as like her just her relationship with God or just in the world in general.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:02

Like what she followed more like if she feels like any argument, any decision that y'all make, y'all should go to God first and then come together as one, that's the type of woman you need.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:16

Um, not just little so notcha.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:20

Right, right, exactly. And last question. Um Do you believe that love can be different the second time around?

SPEAKER_02 1:12:40

If the person is truly healed.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:44

If they gone through like all the things. That's a conversation that needs to be had though, right?

SPEAKER_07 1:12:50

Between you and that new person.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:52

I guess they they call that spin in the block. But I feel like it's different nowadays because it used to be like, oh yeah, you know what I'm saying. We're gonna, you know, my ex want me back to center, but sometimes I feel like that could be more detrimental because if you're not really healed, you're gonna have those flashbacks, you're gonna have those memories, you're gonna have those emotions. Like, what if this person hurts me again? Or what if this person? Um, so I think there's an actual conscious effort on both parts.

unknown 1:13:21

Right.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:23

Okay, all right. I think you did amazing. Um I really want to thank you for being my guest on my final episode. Um, fellas, the ladies have questions. It was a pleasure, and I believe again, just like I said on part one, having those uncomfortable conversations is what makes your relationships grow. Um, and it helps you understand your partner more, um, your friends more, your family more. So it's not just exclusive to relationships, but it's exclusive to relationships in general. You have to have these uncomfortable conversations to get to the root of what's going on around you. Um, so again, Marquise, I appreciate you. Um, again, he is an author. His book is on Amazon. Um, he has music on majority of streaming platforms. I know Apple Music. Um, so if the is there anything you want to leave with the people before we head out?

SPEAKER_02 1:14:31

Oh, yeah, most definitely. Uh I appreciate you having me, and I appreciate everybody for listening.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:36

Uh I do have two books out. The first one is called Do You See Me? And the second one is called Now You See Me. Uh, so yeah, it's it's on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:46

It's released already.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:48

And now the second book has been out for three weeks now. Um, so definitely.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:54

Um, I think you know somebody, boy. Go ahead, go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:00

So, yeah, y'all definitely should check it out. Um, again, I appreciate you having me and we should talk more.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:06

Absolutely, absolutely. It was definitely a pleasure. Um, for sure, and we are out. Thank you guys for listening.