LIGHT DUTY PODCAST #7

Kevin and Evan dive into Cody Alford's raw journey from military life to spiritual awakening. Discover how hormone optimization and faith transformed his mental and physical health. Cody shares gritty stories of overcoming trauma, embracing vulnerability, and finding purpose. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Light Duty Podcast. What's up guys? Welcome back to Light Duty Podcast. We're episode seven. We got Cody Alfred here with us, you know. So appreciate you making the trip. Um before we get started, I want to give a shout-out to our sponsors. Obviously, Savage Tacticians and Bulkhead. Thank these guys for uh supporting the show. But luckily, I know the guy, Savage Tacticians, awesome guy, awesome guy. So appreciate that. But Core Medical Group, you know, is our first uh official sponsor here outside Bulkhead and SapTac. So I just want to give them guys a shout out and let you all know to go check them out. They do a lot of good work in the veteran community and the first responder community. Um, right now, if you go check them out, they are gonna knock $100 off your blood work. So coremedical GRP.com or hit them up on their social at Core Medical TRT and DN them, let them know you heard about us, uh, heard about them through the light duty podcast, and they're gonna knock $100 off of your blood work. And uh so $199 if you're self-pay and if you're using insurance, $59. So don't put your uh health on the back burner. Go check them out, get your blood work done, and see what they can do to get you back on track. All right, cool. Is that better?

SPEAKER_02 1:15

Yeah, it was great, dude. I thought what are your levels at, Cody? What's your what's your testosterone levels? You look like a high level testosterone, super high level, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:23

Okay, I I just got my blood checked. Uh it was at 850.

SPEAKER_02 1:27

Damn. Yeah. Is that what TRT support or yeah?

SPEAKER_01 1:30

I'm actually uh strategic partner with core medical. Oh my god, I've been with core medical since 2019.

SPEAKER_02 1:35

Dang.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

And uh, but the cool thing about the numbers is like I just I was actually one of like the first Marines on active duty to get TRT from the DOD. But the only thing is they give you T just testosterone, which is feels great up front, but then it like tapers off and like you still don't have like this like how I feel today. And so with Core Medical, it was like the first investment I ever did into my my health, right? I'd have no problem like dropping 800 bucks for like you know, TV and Xbox just to go like eat peanut butter, eating peanut butter and like drinking Sailor Jerry and Dr. Pepper was like my thing. So, like you know, I get down on the weekend and it's like, oh yeah, I'm just gonna game all weekend. And uh those days, yeah. I'd have no problem spending all the money for that, but like spending money for my health was like not in my warehouse of the uh of experience.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

And when I think crazy though, like how it's so crazy, it's so easy to just blow money that's not doing anything for you for sure. But when it's time for you to do something for yourself, it's like I don't know if I can spend that money. Absolutely, bro.

SPEAKER_01 2:31

It's not as fun, right? It's I guess yeah, you're like, because we want it's instant gratification if we like go buy something to do something, it's delayed gratification to invest into your health because you know, no magic pill, no shot's gonna change you overnight. It does take time. Uh, but with core medical, you know, I got obviously all the supplementing protocols that came with testosterone replacement therapy. So over the years, bro, just like getting optimized and like just feeling overall better, like my mental health, my wellness, my weight, uh just everything, but it absolutely changed my life.

SPEAKER_00 3:01

So it's funny, it's funny that um core medical and and you know, yourself and so many guys are using core medical. Um when I got out of the military, I went and had my stuff checked, just my local doctor here, and my levels were like my testosterone was like 120. It was like crazy low. And so he said, You want to go on testosterone? I was like, Yeah, let's do it, or whatever. So I do that, but then now I've entered the world into private security and I'm going downrange again and whatnot, and then talking to the different guys, and someone downrange was like, Yo, email this guy, he works for core medical, and you know, they'll get you right, you can do your blood work and stuff like that. So, like it's crazy that years ago, before I even fell into the circle with with core medical, that um as of now, with all the good they're doing, you know, because you know, Sid Gordon and all that he does for the community, he he does so much more outside just you know getting guys right with their TRT, right? You know, so um it's just funny that years later, here we are, somewhere I started, and then now I'm back around with these guys and and doing out doing stuff with them outside of just TRT stuff, you know.

SPEAKER_01 4:10

Yeah, dude. The uh the hormone space is weird because like there you see all these like fly by night like peptide companies that pop up and everyone's like, oh dude, I can buy this. I don't have to like go through a protocol or talk to a doc. I can like pay a little ticket and I can get this thing and then chat GPT how to use it, right? And then they're wondering why they'll get results, but they don't get the results they actually want long term. Um and with core medical, I love core dude. Cindy Gordon, the CEO, dude, he he personally changed my life. Uh the coolest thing about core, I'm actually a strategic partner for them. Uh we do a um, we have a core medical foundation. So we provide TRT hormone replacement therapy for veterans and first responders who can and gold star family members that can't afford it uh for a year. So we that's the uh telehealth visits, the blood work, the the full therapy, as well as like basically like the the concierge service. So like you call any TRT company that you're paying for right now, text them right now, no one's texting you back. You text a member of Core Medical, they're texting you back. Obviously, they got to sleep. Um, but you know, we we service almost every state in in the country, and it's just a super simple process. And most people, they I think most people are embarrassed to like either A, get help or B, they especially veterans, dude. Like veterans are like super cheap bastards, and like they we're used to everything for free in the military. And so then when it comes out to like, I gotta pay for this, like it's like this like weird conundrum. Well, especially on active duty, because we mean you know we're not making shit. You're not, but yeah, that's why I tell guys, like, yo, bro, get all your stuff documented while you're in and get all the help you can while you're in, because when you're out, you're like an afterthought. Nobody cares about you. Obviously, there's people in the real world that care about you. That's why we have a plethora of foundations that exist, unfortunately, but fortunately in the same way. But like, act dude, while you're active duty, you gotta get as much things as you can and get as much things taken care of because it's much harder when you get out.

SPEAKER_00 5:59

Well, there's so much more to it than just testosterone, you know, the peptides and stuff out there. I mean, as we get older, you know, time and service, you know, you you as a young buck, you don't you don't feel it, right? You feel like you can you can you can take on the world, yeah. I mean, now that as we're getting older, you feel the aches and pains. Uh, I I I feel it all the time, like the arthritis in my elbows and stuff like that. And of course, you know, a mix of infantry deployments and then just lifting heavy shit all the time, you know. I mean, it's catching up to us. So right now, I mean, we've talked about this on a previous episode, but you know, there's a lot of stuff coming out about peptides now. I mean, obviously they've been around for a while, but there's so much more information coming out with social media and whatnot, and just things that you know, peptides that you can take now that just help your body altogether, like reduce pain, inflammation, and just feel good. You know, I mean, there's there's there's so much stuff out there. I can't even scratch the surface of it.

SPEAKER_02 6:57

They can they have one that makes you tan. There is one that makes you tan. Tan tied. There is one tan tied. That's my favorite. Yeah. It sounds dangerous. I took the ink tide if you know. Yeah, you didn't actually get tattooed, you just that's a peptide. That's just a peptide, bro. You just kind of pick out which arm sleeves you want and then just inject it and then put them in.

SPEAKER_01 7:16

It's kind of crazy.

SPEAKER_00 7:16

So crazy shit. Yeah, but speaking of uh, you know, go jump back to core medical them. So Sydney and them, they also do a lot of stuff like for the community. So I know they just had their what was it their Military Appreciation Weekend. Military Appreciation Week, yeah, which is pretty cool. They set up a range day and with like shooting archery and what what all is can you can you go in?

SPEAKER_01 7:37

Yep, every year at the end of um the end of February, going into like the first two days of March, we do the military appreciation weekend. So it's a it's a family-friendly, veteran friendly, civilian-friendly event. Uh we we have like this year was actually really sick. This was our fifth one, so we had like a really massive range day, machine guns, shooting all the guns as you can possibly can, great instruction, uh art 3D archery uh events. We had like a bunch of bounce houses and like obstacle courses for the kids. Um we got food, we have raffles and auctions, like just a great environment. And what's this is my fourth one, my third one to attend. And what's really rad is like people that I met at the second year one, I've seen their lives change so much, and it's been like it's just really rad to see because people think that they can't change, but it's like, bro, I see everyday people change all the time. And you know, taking TRT isn't about like get inject, you know, taking TRT is about like, you know, shit that we eat, drink, consume. I mean, the fucking air we breathe, like nothing is the same anymore that grandpappy was around in, you know, with the 59 cent burger days. Um so everything is constantly like eroding and eating away at us, and you don't have to basically like live in like misery and dude. I wish I knew about this shit when I was when I my dad was alive, dude. My you know, my back in the day, I remember my dad was on on steroids, he called it, and he's like, I just gained weight. Well, no shit, because you know, the biggest problem with like any medical provider is that people go to general practitioners, they practice medicine, they're general practitioner of medicine. So why would you take your Ferrari to like a pet boys that serves the Honda Civic? You would take it to the specialist that only does Ferraris because that's what you would do. And um, people get the the doctors like, hey, do you want to go on TRT? Did they give you any like e-blockers or HCG or enclomathine to help with your natural production test? Of course not, because they don't do that. When I was in the DOD and I was like, duty, they sent me to an endocrinologist. I was like the youngest dude there, you know, and I considered myself, and like the terminology I use in the military was like, I'm a professional military athlete, you know, like I'm a high performing dude, like I have aches and pains, but like I get shit done, but like I'm when I'm telling you I feel like crap, like it has to be that bad for me to even vocalize that because I never said, Hey, I'm having a hard day. I'm I'm slow, you know, my cognitively slow, my my sex drive doesn't exist. I can't get my dick up. Like, I would never say those things unless it was like absolutely desperate. And even in an endocrinologist, like they would only still just give me testosterone. And I'm like, now I'm like four years into it deep. I'm like Googling, like, do I need e-blockers? And like, what are these things? And just self-educating myself and bringing it up to doctors, professional doctors, they're like, No, you're good.

SPEAKER_00 10:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:27

And the sickest thing about core, and I tell people, like, I don't give a shit if you're on like if you get on TRT, hormone therapy, peptides, I could care less. All I care about is your blood work. So I got I retired from the Marine Corps, did obviously my exit exam, blood work, I checked into the VA, did my intro exam, did my blood work. And they're like, Oh, yeah, you have low T. I'm like, Well, no shit. I do my blood work with uh core medical. They're like, Hey, you have low T. I'm like, tell me something I don't know. But they're like, Hey, did you know you had kidney issues? I'm like, excuse me. And so my kidney markers were elevated that none of these other blood panels did, because we do a 27 uh panel comprehensive blood work. So basically we we cover everything inside going on in your body. So if it wasn't for them, dude, like who knows like where my health would be at now. And so I was able to like take that information, like start course correcting like things I'm doing and eating. And so like I always tell people like we lie to ourselves, but our blood work doesn't lie to us. And I've seen the worst case scenarios like absolutely transform their life, and you know, especially as a man, dude, like we transform our life, like we we transform our family's lives, our spouses' lives, our friends' lives, you know, like it's a trickle effect, but it starts with us, you know.

SPEAKER_00 11:32

Yeah, and it's so it's it's it's it's so much more than like you said, just testosterone because once you start uh you know looking at your blood work and seeing what's actually uh wrong with you, and you start getting taking these steps to correct that, dude. Your your mental game, your physical game, just everything changes. And this is the problem is before I started, you know, on peptides and and and my and my TRT and whatnot, you know, the pre like you said, you're sluggish, you know, you can't get your dick up, you know, you're you're you know, fogged, you know, thinking you you know, you're just fogged by just just you're just you're just out there, you're just existing, right? So there's so many like uh mental issues too that go around that because you're just you're you're imbalanced. And so just getting back to center, and that's what you know being on these programs can do, getting your blood work can help you do. And it's just amazing how, like you said, people can just 180 and change and just be better, feel better. So um but dude, that's I mean, that's great, such a small world. You you know, you're working with core, they're here with us. So I mean, I I mean it's it's a great program, everything they do for the veteran community. And I think they're actually working really hard to I think they're fine, they're getting close to working with the VA, yeah, right?

SPEAKER_01 12:46

So they're actually, I think it's later this month, they're going back to DC to like have that discussion. But essentially speaking, the end goal is to get our veterans basically make core the exclusive uh blood work and basically hormone replacement therapy for our veterans where it's where it's free for our vets, which is so massive, man. Because we have the foundation, but I mean, even with the foundation, we still have to we still have to earn money for that to provide for our vets, uh first sponsors and and uh goal star family members. But the idea is to not have a foundation anymore, you know, because that's that'd be a huge just victory, obviously, for core. But do core, I love core so much that there's there's not one fat person on the staff, there's not one crappy attitude on the staff, they run a tight ship, bro. And like when I tell you they've been over backwards, and these most of the staff members are civilians, yeah. And they just love people, bro. And it's not just only veterans. I'm a veteran, so obviously I'm very particular to vets and making sure we get taken care of, but like just so many, just anyone. If you're a human with a pulse and you want to get your blood work done, like do they just pour love into you, man?

SPEAKER_00 13:47

And um I think that has to do with the leadership. You know, Sydney is so passionate. Sydney does not pass around, bro. Yeah, so passionate about the veteran community, first responder community that I mean, those events that he throws, it's not like he's like paying people to go out there and host that. Like he's there on the ground and you're with him, and he's very passionate about it. And so, yeah, again, I can't I can't speak highly enough of of of Sydney and Core Medical. I'm I'm super um excited and uh um that they're they're here to sponsor us so we can help get that that that message out to them, you know. So, Core Medical, I mean, they're not just looking for a buck, they're there to really make our communities better. So again, guys, like I don't want to keep hammering this away, but I do at the same time, like you don't know about core medical, go check them out, you know, reach out to them, save some money, get your blood work done, and you know, look, you know, get back to feeling better. So yeah. But other than that, man, how was your how was your uh your flight in?

SPEAKER_01 14:42

I am tweaked out on caffeine and like being cramped up. So I I left at 3 30 this morning and we just got here now. Yeah. Uh, it's been a long day. No, you left at 3 30 this morning. Yeah, I'm an hour and a half away from the airport. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:57

So in the boonies, yeah. So they moved your flight like this morning. You had issues.

SPEAKER_01 15:02

No, no, no, I had no issues. The only issue was this last flight from DC to here. It was just like you did you ride your dirt bike to the airport? No, bro.

SPEAKER_00 15:09

I see you've been you've been tearing it up on the trick, man.

SPEAKER_01 15:12

I got I got sponsored by uh beta dude last year. Yeah, one of one of my followers and now friend, he's a race mechanic for uh the beta racing team. And I I put on Instagram my birthday was my 40th, yeah, because I'm about to turn 41 next month. My 40th birthday was coming up, and I'm like, bro, like you look good. Thanks, dude. Must be the peptide. Must be the peptide. The tan pad. It's the stress-free birth. You're contan. Yeah, it's the stress-free life, dude. Um, I I like basically posted this picture of a dirt bike, like, kind of like manifesting it, dude. And you know, one of the guys reached out to me and he was like, hey, bro, like he's like, I'll sell you my bike from them at what I paid for. And it was like a still of a deal. I'm like, bro, I pre- I'm very mechanics, the way I'm very appreciative. And it had like zero miles on it. Yeah, like zero hours. I'm like, dude, I'm super appreciative, but like I just I can't afford this right now. Like it just wasn't in the cars for me. I hit this like dry spell on like life and business where it was such, it was it only the only explanation is like God planned it out, bro. Because it was it was such a quiet time in my life that I almost felt disconnected from like God and like everything, like it was just stillness. And I'm like, all right, I've been here before in some ways, and I forced it last time, and that sucked. So this time I'm just gonna like embrace it all. And he's like, hey, bro, don't buy a dirt bike. I I think they're gonna send you one. I'm like, Are you I'm a nobody, dude? Are you serious, dude? And so they sent me a uh 2025 uh cross trainer, so it's a 300 two-stroke. I don't know shit about dirt bikes. I didn't I know more now, obviously. And because I used to ride Harleys all the time uh in the military, yeah. But towards the end of my career, uh my brain started shutting down and cognitive function started like being impaired. So I had like fall off my bikes, and uh I got into mountain biking when I moved uh to where I live, and it was just too fast, and like my brain was like not functioning enough to like quick twitch like reaction, and I'm like, well, maybe a dirt bike because I can't talk about like trail riding, uh yeah, like like downhill bombing, yeah. At the ski resort. I used to do that active duty also, and I just my brain couldn't handle like processing all that information, and so I just I got back from the brain clinic. I went to this uh place called Resiliency Brain Health Clinic in uh Capel, Texas. I'm actually going there next week for like a five-day reboot basically, and that like took me from like mind sloped to like pretty functioning. Anyways, long story short, beta sends this dirt bike, bro, and the the rep at the uh the rep at the local um um what do they call it? Like motorsports shop. He now he's my friend, but he's also he was a uh professional rider, so he's been like my coach. And so we go riding every day. I pick up my bike, he's like, Hey, you want to go riding? I'm like, bro, I'm gonna go riding with or without you. Like, let's go. And I know nothing. So like he just like took me under the wing and we just kept on progressing. And then zero or yeah, yeah, right in there.

SPEAKER_02 17:58

So I grew up, I love dirt bikes, and it's it's funny you shared that because that's a similar story for me. Like, I've had dirt bikes my whole life, riding big into motocross, riding trails. I would literally walk home from school in middle school, and where I lived, we lived by some woods, so we could ride on the street a little bit and then cut in these trails right behind this fire station and ride for hours. So every day after school, I was riding, but then I sold my dirt bike when I got back from Afghanistan. So I had one when I was stationed in Fort Hood, and then whenever I left for Afghanistan, I sell it before I get out of the military. And uh, so I've I've been wanting to get back into riding, and endurocross is really that's the sport, bro. Dude, I like that over motocross, like track riding way better because it's intense, it's a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_01 18:37

I've never done uh track riding, and obviously, like all the moto community is like, oh bro, you gotta try to track ride. Like, bro, you guys just crazy, dude. Like it's just pinned and like I'm sure it's extremely challenging, but like I have zero interest in like being airborne for 100 feet.

SPEAKER_00 18:51

Yeah, yeah. Um but you're saying you like the trail riding. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:55

I like I like watching super cross. I like watching motocross. I would go and watch like Jeremy McGrath, all these big riders coming up, but riding trails is what I like.

SPEAKER_00 19:04

That's what that's a no-brainer to me. I mean, I've seen some of your videos, and Ryan look, I mean, looks fun, makes me want to like get a dirt bike.

SPEAKER_01 19:10

You gotta come out. I got I got two bikes now, so you gotta come out and visit. Two bikes now. Yeah, so is beta a brand? Yeah, beta's a brand, dude. So they're actually an Italian-made uh dirt bike. Okay, bro, they're so sick. So they put me on this cross trainer, and so bitch, that's like their entry level, like indubike. And uh it's powerful, it's fast, it's like all those things. And you know, so within like two months of like riding, I tell my my friend and coach, I'm like, yo, bro, like I want to go on, I want to go to a race. And he's like, Really? I'm like, yeah, dude, why else are we doing this? I want to go, I'm gonna go like I love going fast in the woods, and it's impressive because I've seen it's like it's like jujitsu, like you can you know nothing until you learn that one thing, then you know something, and you're like, holy shit, I that's like a big like victory. And for the dirt bike, bro, like I remember like hills I couldn't get up or rocks I couldn't get over, trees, logs, whatever. And uh so we we I live in like North Idaho where they all the professionals around the world come to train for enduro single track, the mountains, aren't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, like, same story, like down my road, like three minutes, I'm on hardball, and then I hit a dirt trail, and then you know, I ride slow because there's like some neighborhoods, you know, that live there, and then I'm in the BLM land, bro, and then I'm just gone for hours, man. And so I went on my first enduro race, and bro, as soon as I as soon as I said go, I pinned that throttle brack, and I'm like, I cannot sustain this. Yeah, I was I was like because I like going fast, right? So I I'll go like 60, 70, like with no problem, like oh a turn. Yeah, let me go to like five miles an hour, put your foot down, and I'm like, I'm I'm already hard hearing. And so, like, from my experience, like when they want to get past you, they like either rev their engines or they've like honk. I can't hear any of that shit, bro. Yeah, I'm thinking like, don't die, don't die, don't die. And like, there's like it's like assholes. Oh, for sure, dude. Just holding the trails up. There goes Cody around the turn, dude. Yeah, I didn't know there was so I got signed up for the vet C class. So that's like the bottom class for like normal people, and then there's like a like there's like a senior, so I'm like, I'm competing as like 16, 18-year-old, you know, just savages. And they're like nerd. I'm like, oh boomer.

SPEAKER_02 21:16

I'm like, I'm so sorry. Old guy in front. Yeah, dude. And yeah, it was just a great awesome. Good for you for getting back to that. So I want to know. You're a big guy on a bike too, though.

SPEAKER_01 21:25

I'm on a bigger bike now. So they just my my buddy Taylor just he just uh he texted me like a month ago and he's like, hey bro, go through a catalog, pick out what bike you want. I'm like, are you serious? That's fucking sick. I am a nobody in this space, and like there's people that write all the time and they're doing amazing things, and like I'm just so grateful, bro. That bike came to me. I wasn't gonna kill myself or anything like that, but I was like super I was just I was just fucking boss, bro. Something to do.

SPEAKER_00 21:51

Yeah, sometimes like you're a good dude and you put out good vibes, good messages, and sometimes it's just gotta it's gotta come back to you. I'm super appreciative, man. And you know. It's beta? Yeah, beta. Beta. Good audio. Yeah. We read mana dude.

SPEAKER_02 22:06

Yeah, dude. Are you on a 450 now? Is that what they do?

SPEAKER_01 22:08

No, I'm still on a 300, but I'm on their uh 300 uh RR, so they're race editions. So it's it's a little bigger frame. It's got more power, more torque, torque. Uh, because I am like four stroke? Is there four stroke? It's still a two-stroke.

SPEAKER_02 22:20

Oh, that's two strokes are back, dude. They wouldn't be stoked.

SPEAKER_01 22:23

I have to like I have to mix the oil, gas for this one.

SPEAKER_00 22:27

The the the cross trainer is like Chinese to me because I don't know shit about you ever see like guys, like you can't just put fuel in there.

SPEAKER_01 22:33

You gotta put oil and fuel mixture. So the bike that I currently have from beta, the cross trainer, there's like a reservoir for the oil and the reservoir for your gas. Okay. This one that you have to pre-mix, but like it's like a weed eater. Yeah, it's just like it. Yeah, it's like a weed, but like weed eater. It's but it can like go up a wall, you know.

SPEAKER_00 22:49

Yeah, yeah, dude. So I want to know like what's the what's the uh stick worse you've ate it?

SPEAKER_01 22:54

Oh, dude. Actually, did you see my did you see my post from today?

SPEAKER_00 22:59

I saw one where you were like it starts off where you like fall. Yeah, is that the one you're talking about? That's the one, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:04

Okay, yeah. So that that was like l like a couple weekends a um we're we're just there's just so many single track trails where we live. And I just start ripping up this like mountain before I even get to like the midpoint. I don't know what happened. I think I I went too far back on my bike and I just like flipped backwards. And the way I had my camera, it was just like perfect, and it caught this like horrible fall. Like it was like the worst breakfall ever. And uh, I hit my I just bought a new helmet, like uh Alpine All-Star, and thank God, and I just like hit my head on this like tree, like that was like already kind of broken. What was your helmet? I think Alpine All-Star.

SPEAKER_02 23:40

They're a popular brand, they're good too. Oh, here they make boots. Alpine, what was the helmet called? All-star. Alpine all-star. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:48

All right, yeah. I know a guy. I know a guy. Yeah, but yeah, dude, the whole Moto community has been like super just so gracious and kind, bro. They've been so supportive. And yeah, it's and it's like weird because like people are like, what do you do? I'm like, I don't know what the fuck I do, bro, but like right now, I'm riding dirt bikes, and I just rode dirt bikes for like two months straight. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 24:10

The you just saying like the the motorbike, the dirt bike motocross community just being so, you know, uh um they're amazing, bro. Just kind to you, whatever. Which is rare because I I say rare because today nowadays on the internet, it's like everyone has to be a dickhead in the comments. Like someone has to say some smart ass comment or just try to get at you, you know, like where they wouldn't do it in in person because they get punched in the mouth, but for sure. I love to I love to hear the positivity coming from them, you know. So that's awesome to hear.

SPEAKER_01 24:44

Well, I think what people and what I never knew because I never rode like a dirt bike was that I don't think what people understand is like riding a dirt bike, either motocross or like single track enduro, it's it's like a spiritual experience, right? And so, like, yes, I'm having fun riding, but like it's helping my mental health, you know. I dude, I go out in the woods and like you cannot think about anything else or you're gonna eat shit. And I've proven that numerous times. Um, and then like I'm seeing it, it brought me back to that like mentality in the military, like that militant uh mindset where like I gotta I gotta prep my, you know, prep my gear, I gotta like maintenance my gear, I gotta take care of I didn't, I didn't know, I don't know what I don't know, but it like made me like I can't go out like all willy-nilly just to have fun. I'll die, bro. Like you can fucking die. Yeah, and um, so that's I found my one outdoor dangerous sport. Like I've tried, I've I haven't tried everything, but I've tried a lot of things to like find my desire to go out into the wilderness and like what's my thing? Like, I love hunting, but like I'm I'm not dreaming about you.

SPEAKER_00 25:48

I'm still hunting. So I just messaged a buddy um on Facebook. Uh he he had a little boy um and I asked him, like, yo, how how is that little guy doing? He's like, Oh man, dude, it's this is great. It's like it changed my life mentally, just everything. Like, I didn't realize how much I needed this. And I feel like it's the same thing with you, with your little guy. I feel like things really changed when you and your wife had your son. Um, I feel like you I you know obviously we've known each other for a while, but when you had your son, I can noticeably see a difference with you changing as a person. And it's not something that happens overnight. For sure. But when you have when you when you have when you start a family and have a little one, like your your your mental game like changes altogether. And over time I've seen that with you. So do would you say that that's true?

SPEAKER_01 26:47

I'd say it's I'd say it's true, but like I said, I also like I asked myself, like, what parallel universe am I living in where I'm so selfish and so oblivious? So I have an older son who is 10. He lives in Germany with his mom. And I didn't get to see him for like maybe the third or fourth time of his life till he was eight years old.

SPEAKER_00 27:05

You address this on social as well.

SPEAKER_01 27:06

Yeah, yeah. I talk about all the time because like people are like, oh man, you helped me change my life. I'm like, hey, I just want you to know, bro, I ain't perfect. So like you're not comparing that like I'm like unapproachable or like this on a pedestal. I'm just a human being and I mess up a lot. And I carried so much guilt and shame uh to the point where my wife was pregnant with our son Raiden. Dude, when she she was like almost bedridden for like her whole pregnancy, was like very kind of like brutal for her. And uh, which I would learn later in life that the health of the male affects and influences the health of the the mother while she's uh you know going through her pregnancy. Dang, I know. And so clearly I was very unhealthy uh at the time compared to like where I'm at now. And but when my wife was like bedridden, bro, and like I would just like go into my office and like smoke four joints and like just zone out of life because I I I had this like internal battle inside my head of just like guilt and shame that I carried for not being there for my son. And uh when I chose not to marry his mom, you know, I lost my my opportunity to like really be engaged, and we had to grow as people, and she's obviously a super amazing woman. Uh, she's remarried or she is married, and so like my my son's got a stable dude in the household, you know, great mom, he's got a little brother, and then he's got his younger brother, you know, his blood brother, Raiden. But I remember my mother-in-law came once my son, our son was born, and I just couldn't, I didn't participate. Like I almost felt like um like passive aggressive, like, this is my job. But like I was expecting someone to acknowledge my authority by stepping into my authority. And I I just kind of sat back in the shadows, and like one day it was just like my mother-in-law was there, and she was like doing all these amazing things, helping out my wife and you know, helping out her son. I'm just like, I got this, and I just had to like kind of like jerk myself in there, and I was kind of a dick because I'm like, I'm super uncomfortable, I'm super timid, and I'm still battling all this, like you know, selfish. I'm being selfish by giving so much attention to like to prove something, not even prove, bro. Just I'm like, bro, when are you gonna step up and be a man? I didn't know how to be a man, to be honest with you, and I didn't realize for years how much of a little hurt boy I was, and you know, so but watching my son now and like being interactive in his life, I probably truthfully I've probably been more present in his life this past year than I have, and he's four, than I've had the first three years of his life. I'm not I'm not proud of that, but what the I'm not gonna beat myself up anymore. That I realized that it that didn't help anything out, and but what's really sick is like I'm like, why wasn't I I wanted to be present before, but then I'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I'd be on my phone or I'd be thinking about like all these 10,000 things I need to do. And even if I did them, it wouldn't change the needle in anything because there was no clear point, you know. But in my head, I have all this like jumbleness, and uh, so it's been really sick to like be able to, you know what? That's a tomorrow problem, bro. And like being around my friends and my mentors that are like Sydney Gordon, bro. Like, there's no problems with Sydney. He's like, Oh, hotels booked, I'll call another one. Oh, flights delayed, we'll just get a different flight. Oh, this is an issue, we'll pivot over here. And and I take these life experiences and lessons from like men that I respect in my life. I'm like, well, how the hell can I apply that to my current state? And you know, but being a dad has truly impacted me. And where I'm at today, too, which is once again, I I could be completely selfish, or I have been selfish in my past, just my thinking is like, dude, fighting for my family, dude, like fighting for my son, fighting for my wife, and like those are things like everything's trying to break us apart, dude. Society, fucking just everything. And it's it's my job, dude, to not just hold it together. I'd I'd always defend and protect. I'm the I'm the sword wielding, but like I needed to be like the throne sitter and I and like look bigger and like understand that well, I might not want to do this, but I don't care. Is that the message I'm gonna show my son? Is like I don't want to do this, you know, and he's picking up on everything, you know, and so it's like what example am I setting for him? And yeah, it has impacted me. And it's impacted me so much. And with the help of my wife, like really like my wife is like super, she's much smarter than me, dude. She's epic. But like this, like different research she's done, and like how like you know, our brains are still developing to like 25, right? So, like we're we're so impressable and impressionable based off our like our atmosphere. And so, like seeing how our son acts now, I'm like, bro, he is he is savage, dude. But at the same time, when I go see my oldest son in Germany, I got to see him for his christening uh I think last year. I got to pour all that love into him. So everything I've learned here, I've got to like pour into him and like be super present and like be understanding because we have a language barrier, and like he speaks as much English as I speak German.

SPEAKER_02 31:43

And that's trippy to think about. Like your son is over there, you can't even really communicate. Well, thanks to Google Translate, I guess we can never and I saw this thing on TikTok shop that's even better than Google Translate. So maybe I'll gift you one. You can go over there, you guys can talk through the translator.

SPEAKER_01 32:00

My son's actually coming to visit uh August. How old is he now? He's 10. 10. He turns 11 this year. That's wild. He like sent me the his mom sent me the list of like all the things he wants to do. It's like everything outside. I'm like, we're good, bro. Because I'm on a dirt bike.

SPEAKER_00 32:14

He's gotta be so pumped.

SPEAKER_01 32:15

He is yeah, he wants to like start outside. He wants to camp, he wants to shoot guns, he wants to like do all the things. Oh, yeah, do Germany.

SPEAKER_00 32:22

Yeah, so obviously you know my wife's from Ireland. Okay, yeah. But when in-laws and all them come over, we hit the range and and we'll shoot, and they they they love it. So I mean, I know I know he's gonna be super excited to get over here to stuff that he can't really do over there.

SPEAKER_01 32:35

Yeah, and I gotta, I gotta, I mean, he's shot guns, so his his uh what stepdad, I guess you would call that, right? Super rad dude, they they go have a range. I didn't even know German's gonna have guns, bro. But he's like part of like a shooting club. So he's got like a safe, he's got guns. I'm like, I feel so much better about all this, you know. Like, yeah, because he's not a victim, he's not a victim mentality. Like the dude's he's a he's a stud, right? And um, but like I got this like really gnarly range set up in my house, dude. I got like a 15-foot tire wall. Like it's oh yeah, it's cool. Yeah, I'm stoked, bro.

SPEAKER_00 33:05

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 33:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:06

What are you gonna do about your your your your son?

SPEAKER_02 33:08

I was gonna say, you know, I got a dog recently, and I've been going through some of those same, you know, I'm starting to see where you guys as fathers are getting this emotional attachment, right? Because it's funny when you talk about selfishness, that's been me, dude, my whole life. And then hearing you say it kind of brings some light. Like I could be selfish without even knowing that I'm being selfish. Like I think I'm giving back or I think I'm helping, or I'm really good about saying, well, because I helped someone in this way, or because I feel like I'm I'm helpful, you know, I definitely am conscious about that. I do a lot for the addict community, being an addict myself. I try to give back a lot, I donate a lot of money to the rehab that basically saved my life. You know, the fifth rehab I went to that saved my life. And uh and and then now it's it's like I think about like, but I'm still a selfish person in a lot of ways. And I'm not trying to be. And then there were two things. I had this mentor that was telling me, um, he was talking about like, here's I was I was looking at getting a dog years ago, and he was like, You're not ready for a dog. And I was like, What do you mean I'm not ready for a dog? He's like, here's what you do get a plant first, right? And if you can take care of the plant, get a goldfish, right? If you could take care of the goldfish, then get a hamster and then work your way up to a dog, right? So I get a dog, I get uh a my manager sends me a money tree, right? And she doesn't know that it's dead now, but is it's dead, right? And I named him uh Kendrick Lamar after the song Money Tree. So I had my money tree Lamar, right? And he died. And money trees are supposed to be really fucking easy to take care of, like require no water, very little light, you know, and he died, dude. And uh so I felt really bad about that. But then I ended up getting a dog anyways, and I was like, I'm not gonna let the dog die. Like, this is gonna, and me and and me and Nash, his name is Nash, we've become really close. And it's forced me, this is, you know, people that have kids and stuff can be like, what a dumbass. He's 40 as I'm 40 as well. I'm gonna be 41 in October. Like I'm just now learning how to fucking parent and you know, I got this dog. And uh, I've watched my brother who's got four kids, you know. It just blows my mind. And so, but it's forced me to be a little bit responsible more responsible in some areas. Like, I'm not gonna let the dog, you know, I'm gonna take care of it. I know myself well enough where I will, I will take care of it. He'll have a good life. I will not fail the dog in that way, right? Um, but it's forced me to do that. You know, I can't be as lazy. I have to take him outside. He's got to go on walks and then he'll sit there and look at me, like make guilting me into walking him, you know, and it just makes me get outside again. So then I've recently started running again because of that. So now when I take him on, he's got so much energy, I'll run a little bit. It's got me running again. You know, he's got to eat, he's got to have these things, and it's forcing me, you know, so on a different level, you know, I know it's not the same with kids, but maybe it's God showing me that maybe one day, maybe one day you'll be ready for kids.

SPEAKER_00 35:57

But let's get past the money tree and the dog, you know. Translator.

SPEAKER_02 36:04

I wish they had one for the case. That'd be great, man. We'll just gift each other translators.

SPEAKER_01 36:09

I don't think it's like too far of a stretch of the comparison because like the the world that I live in is like all this out here is just a byproduct of whatever's inside here. And so like being able to like find those perspectives and like find those areas of growth in your your mental life, right? Your your mental spiritual life, I feel like it's very connected, intertwined. And then you apply that on your outside world. I feel like that makes the biggest things. And I feel like a lot of people miss out on that because they're so used to the grind or so used to just getting it done. But like then they die when they're 60 of a heart attack, right? Or they're they're they're they're being the dad, they're showing up, they're doing the job, they're paying the bills, they're walking the dogs, they're feeding the kids, then they die of a heart attack because they're stressed out and they they eat shit food, they don't exercise, they don't take care of themselves. And so it's like, it's like, okay, so clearly just doing what you're supposed to do isn't good enough because there's so many amazing dads out there. But what I realized, what an amazing dad is, it's it's an adaptive person, it's someone who can like 3D chess, right? 4D chess. You know, can you grow and evolve in all these different ways? And you know, dogs are great, dude. My uh my very first service dog was her name was Munan, and uh, dude, that dog saved my life more than I can count on my hands. And then when she died, I was I was going through a bunch of shit, and I and I told I told her, I'm like, dude, I'm not gonna do this to another dog, you know. Like, I didn't I didn't take her out as often, and she has some bad hip issues too, so I I didn't really get to travel with her as much as I was previously. And I'm like, bro, I I can't be this stagnant thing where I look at my dogs and then when did you know I got a dog and I just like wasn't like investing into him because I was being selfish, being stuck inside my head, realizing that life is out here, it's not in here, but there is like a there's key components in both aspects that together they can make like a really grateful experience of life. And yeah, man, I I think really what I've lost and what I didn't have was gratitude, you know. I had the plants, I had the dogs, I had the family, you know, I have this badass wife, and I didn't I had zero gratitude for any of it. Uh not because I didn't want to be grateful, but you didn't know how.

SPEAKER_02 38:13

I didn't know how you didn't know be grateful. I didn't take things for advantage. It's the same way for I take a lot of things for advantage. And then because I I think in us in the military, you know, we've learned how to survive a lot. I'm really good at surviving, you know. So I can be making money, I can be making the most money I've ever made, right? Have this big year and then lose it all and still be okay because I know how to survive. But had I looked back and gone, well, man, if I would have taken this money and invested it into this or spoke with someone who knows how to handle money better or done this, this, and this differently, then I could have had this, this, and this. So I used to beat myself up a lot about that. But then I learned that it's like, you know, what could have happened, or, you know, reflecting on, well, if it would have gone this way, it doesn't exist. That doesn't exist. So there's no sense in doing that. It's the adaptation, it's the adaptiveness.

SPEAKER_00 39:00

Well, yeah, the problem with that though is hindsight will always always be 2020, right? And so it's it's it's recognizing that at the moment. Like it could have been X if I did X. Yeah. But as if you always just think of that and then never act on it, you're you're always gonna stand yourself up for failure no matter what you're doing. So as long as you're learning from it, yeah, hindsight will always be 2020. So yeah, if I did X and I'll get this outcome, okay, cool. Next time around, I'm gonna do this and act on it. Yeah. No, if you if you just keep repeating, you know, the same vicious cycle, you're never gonna grow. You're never gonna, you're never gonna become a better version of yourself.

SPEAKER_02 39:42

Yeah. I have a question that I was thinking about. Yeah, I agree totally. But one of the things I was thinking about when we were talking about, you know, like selfishness, right? And you're kind of touching on it a little bit, but it's like, um, I've been given two perspectives before. And one of it's like, all right, well, I have to take care of myself, right? I have to make myself the prior priority so that I can be a good dad or a good husband or a good, I've got to make myself the priority in that sense so that I can do this, this, and this. But then it's like, is that being selfish? Like, where do you, when it comes to that, you know, like your health, like your physical health, like you talk about TRT and working out and doing all these things, just getting a dirt bike, you know, and spending time on the dirt bike is important for you, right? So it's that allows you to be a better dad and a better husband and about, you know, all those things. But where, where does that become like, all right, am I being selfish with it now? You know, does that make sense? Like that's what I'm confused on.

SPEAKER_01 40:42

So that's that's where I've been at in this journey of life, right? Yeah. And um, you know, for me, the pivot that didn't just magically change overnight, but it gave me something bigger because I've realized time and time again, I'll let myself down, I'll let my family down. Yeah, I will nuclear sabotage everything in my life, everything that I love, I will burn down to the ground. Not because I want to, but just I have the tendency to do that. And it wasn't until like I surrendered and gave my life to Christ to like follow Christ dude that like I don't want to be a coward. And until I started calling it exactly what it was, being a coward. Uh have you ever called yourself a coward? I don't like that term at all. And I did not like the way it sounded when I said it about myself. And I'm like, bro, you're being a coward. Yeah. And uh, I'm like, it's just like being on a team. Like, I would never in a million years, you know, be going through like a prep course or like a school or be on a mission downrange and be like, you know what, guys, I'm only giving you 80%. I'm only gonna give you 99%. I would never do that in a million years, but I realized that I've given my whole entire life 99%. When I have like the best special operations team I could ever ask for, being my be my wife, my my sons, my support network, and I've been giving them 99%. And it wasn't until like I actually coached myself, I'm like, all right, Cody, if there's one thing you know that's in the top of your head right now that you that you're missing from your life, what is it? And I'm like, fuck, it's surrendering, dude. You know, it's surrendering and like finding something bolder to live for and finding something bolder to strive for. And uh, you know, I was always icky of that shit. Like, it seems it's pretty dope to like talk about it, but like, because I was never like I was never like a Jesus or a God thing ever before. And I was like, I believe in God, I'm spiritual, but like it still wasn't transforming my life. And it's not like I don't have a cop-out, bro, but I have, I have, I know like every day in my head, I'm living now, I'm choosing to live now. Like, bro, I'm walking down to my death with my cross, and everyone's the whole world's watching me, bro. But even my family, and they're gonna see a dude that's gonna be fucking walking boldly or walking like a coward, being like, please don't kill me. This is too heavy. No, make it stop. Like, I refuse to fucking be that person. And what I've realized is when I was walking my own life, walking by myself and for myself, I was just everything that I despise. I was a fucking coward. I was I was scared to to stand for something, be fucking bold. And you know, that just recently changed. I actually got baptized at the um the core medical event. Oh, really? Yeah, Mill Chansey uh recent one, yeah. So back back in January, February, uh, March. That was your first time to be baptized, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And I I didn't even it wasn't even like right outside uh Sydney's, yeah, dude. I was in uh we were in Beauford, South Carolina, uh, and um it it like came to me in a conversation, dude. Like, we're all there, like, because like we all volunteer a time for this event, we don't get paid for it because we love it. And it's actually like one of the most enjoyable times of the year, and uh I'm like with all my buddies there, we're like prepping the house, getting stuff ready, getting the event stuff ready, and I'm like, I'm gonna get fucking baptized, dude. And like I've really been leaning into like I I've always leaned into like the voice in my head of like good and bad, yet borderline selfish. You know, those thoughts is like, go do that, you deserve that. I'm like, yeah, I do, you know? I can get away with this, or I deserve this, or this would be easier. And but I've been leaning in more into that voice that's like fucking terrifying to me. And point in case, two uh Corbin Eccles goes. So, like this third one. I'm sitting there and I'm about to go speak on stage. And Sydney comes up to me and he's like, Hey, uh, you're about to go speak, bro. I'm like, fuck, what am I gonna talk about, bro? And in my head, it literally said clear as day, talk about your faith. I'm like, fuck that, dude. Like I would never in a million years share that with anybody. Um, because I wasn't, I was not for that, right? And he's like, Hey, dude, you're not gonna talk tonight, you're gonna talk tomorrow. I'm like, uh, thank God. Yeah. So tomorrow comes and like I haven't even told my wife where I'm at with this, right? Like, I've just I've been, you know, when I retired in the Marine Corps in 2018, I didn't know who I was, what I stood for, what I believed in. I didn't know any of that shit. So you're having like an internal battle. Oh, yeah. And I'm like choosing to not do the thing that it's telling me to do. Yeah. To the point where in 2019 I was outside the Grand Canyon, I did 13 and a half grams of uh psilocybin. And towards the end of my trip, it told me to that I needed Jesus in my life. I'm like, what the fuck? Like I would never plant that seed in my head, I would never willingly say that. And uh, I'm like, so I battled and I did what I do best. I interpret the message to fit my comfort.

SPEAKER_02 45:19

Yeah, to fit your narrative.

SPEAKER_01 45:21

And I'm like, so I'm like, oh, maybe I'll just like follow Jesus. You know, he's a he's a great guy, you know, he's a bold, you know, savage. Like, I'll just I'll follow his lead. But that was still, I was still letting that down, right? Let's so like all these things I'm letting down. And so the second night of this this uh event, Cindy's like, hey, you're about to go on. I'm like, fuck, what am I gonna talk about? And in my head, it was like, you know, it was just silent. I'm like, fuck. And so I get about dirt bikes. Yeah, I didn't even know dirt bikes. I didn't I didn't even know dirt bikes at this time, right? Like it wasn't in my my my experience of life yet. So I go on stage and I said, I recently accepted a crisis into my life, and I didn't know what the fuck that meant. I just yeah, I like open up the dialogue because I looked at all my friends, I'm like, dude, they all seem happy and they got their shit together. And um then I'm also like, you know what, fuck them, bro. Like, you know, like everyone's on this like bandwagon of change, and I'm like, why am I hating? Maybe I should try this. I'm like, worst case, my life, worst case, my life doesn't change, and it is what it is. Best case, my entire life and everyone around me transforms. And so I started like I vocalized publicly like my my interest in this like seed that was like planted into me that I was like basically fighting for years to avoid because I didn't want to, I don't know about you, bro, but like I don't want to be associated with like the masses for anything. I don't even like titles. I didn't I didn't even like titles in the Marine Corps, to be honest with you, right? And obviously titles gave me opportunities to like lead and take charge and all that stuff, but like I don't want to be boxed in any category, and um so to be able to surrender in bro, I did it in front of like 300 people, which was like not part of the plan, but just there was like 300 plus people at this event, and they saw me get baptized, bro. And I was just like this like laser focused mission, dude.

SPEAKER_00 47:02

And um you know the irony, the irony of this story is you have built a career and just a following on uh being a person of motivation and doing better, being better, and you internally struggled with that yourself every day, which is just listening to your story now, it just blows my mind because I'm like, dude, I've known this guy for a while, and like his whole mission statement is you know, stop listening to the noise over here and focus on what you need to do to be better and to do better and and go after it. And then here you are, the person delivering the message, struggling with that same message internally.

SPEAKER_02 47:49

But that's what makes it powerful and real, you know, because we all go through that. And then if there's someone up there who's giving you this motivational speech or doing all this stuff, but they haven't, you know, walked the walk, they they act like they don't go through those pro, you know, then obviously they're lying to you, you know. I think like just you even getting baptized and being vulnerable enough to get baptized in front of those other people probably encouraged other people to to do the same thing. You know, and it didn't think about that.

SPEAKER_01 48:17

It was powerful. And like what's really crazy about like the whole aspect of it is like for years, you know, especially being a civilian, like people have told me, like, oh dude, like God's gonna use you. I'm like, yeah, okay, you know, like it just I didn't really I didn't really believe these things. Like I I believed in a I believed in God. I wasn't quite sure exactly how I defined that. But agnostic. You were agnostic. Yeah, I was I was agnostic. You know, like well, I can get to God by myself. And I, you know, I I've I've done a lot of psychedelics. I've been down to Ambio Life um down in uh Tijuana, Mexico. Uh I've looked at that place before it's life changing. I was invited to do the um IBegain'cause Ibegain.

SPEAKER_00 48:58

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:59

I need to do that. Bro, it's life changing. So I tell people about IBogaine. So IBogaine and Five Me O DMT is what Ambio does down in uh Tijuana. So the first time I went, I went through the Vets program. Uh so uh Marcus and Amber Capone, uh uh X uh I think it was uh Team Six guy, and started this foundation to send special operators down there. The most savage thing about Ibegain is you're guaranteed an opportunity to move the gray matter in your brain. Guaranteed. Yeah, like they've done studies on that. So like you could go there, I don't have childhood trauma. Yeah, you do, but let's just say you don't even put that into your like brain, you're guaranteed to move the uh the gray matter in your brain, bro. You can you can reverse the effects of traumatic brain injury. Uh secondly, when you say gray matter, so like when we have I'm probably gonna butcher this if there's a nerd listening, but like when we have traumatic brain injury occur to us, which doesn't have to be from the military, it doesn't be from combat, it can be loud music, shooting guns, a whiplast, car accident, car accident, like literally the most basic things.

SPEAKER_00 49:59

Essentially, like gray matter would be like brain scar tissue.

SPEAKER_01 50:02

Uh yes, in a sense, right? And so what when it when it starts messing with your neuropathways in your brain, and once again, I am not a doctor, I'm not a specialist, I'm butchering all this and I'm using broad code, but like the that they did these uh CAT scans, I believe it was, on like six seals, or maybe it was like eight. But basically, like their gray matter like started to change in their brain, reversing the effects of TBI. So, TBI, what uh what are some of the side effects of traumatic brain injury? Uh depression, uh brain fog, fucking hormone imbalances, low testosterone, low testosterone, you know, just horrible things that make you feel less of a human being, even though inside your desire to be human and to function is so high, but in your outside reality, it's just fucking horrible. And the 5MEO DMT comes from the the the toad, the buffo, the frog. Yeah, and they called the God molecule for a reason. And so I actually my my my truth and my experience is like I met God for the first time in a concrete, concrete room in Mexico, and it wasn't like, hi Cody, how are you? Dude, my family didn't exist, my friends didn't exist, the jobs that I had like nothing existed but just pure fucking love. And I felt like I was at home for the first time in my life, and not like I didn't love my family anymore, but like it none of it existed. I was just I was just back to this like most powerful feeling of expression I've ever had in my life. And when I came out of this trip, which I begin Ibegain is my first one was like 24 hours, it was a very long one, and then the whole day after it's called a gray day. So like I was just like kind of like your body's twitching, but dude, done with ibogaine, more mobility than I've had in my entire adult life, instantly insane, bro. I could like lift my leg up, lift my arms, my shoulders, insane. Like, because you're detoxing your body, right? And like trauma and stress and all that shit. When you're when your brain starts shutting off, it stops setting those neural pathways to your body. So, you know, our body, as the books goes, your body keeps score, your body holds this tension. Like, man, my shoulder pain always hurts. I promise you, more than anything, it's it's it's something related to trauma, which is addressed through your your mind, right? To through your psyche and in your spiritual expansion. And uh five and meod is about like a 15 to 25 minute ride, if you call it. And uh, I came out of that thing, bro, and I like I literally roared like a lion. I felt so empowered and so powerful. Like I could, I'd like literally yell at the top of my lungs. Where before that, if you took me to like a haunted house, I'd be like, ah, like I wouldn't know how to scream. Yeah, like I had like a governor on me. And um, yeah, and so a year later, so I went back home. I'm like, because I was desperate to like save my my relationship, my family. And I come back home and like I'm going back home to an environment that didn't change, but I did. And then since I was still not strong enough and really knew how to like integrate all this, I made a lot of positive changes, but it wasn't the speed that I wanted, you know, or the success rate that I wanted, but there was still improvement. Literally a year later, bro. One of the owners, his name's Trevor, he called me up. He's like, Hey, bro, he's like, You want to come back out for a second, second ride? I'm like, I was terrified, dude. Really? I'm terrified because he just called me out of the fucking blue and asked me if I wanted to go back out there again. He's like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna cover you. You can talk about, but I've been blessed my entire life, bro, and it's taken me this long to see why and how. And I go out there again and I'm terrified. I'm like, well, I don't believe in coincidences. So like he's like, I feel like you have another one in you. I'm like, okay, so I tell my wife she's all on board. I go out there again, and I'm like, shit, bro, I'm about to go meet God again. This is great. Cause like you have to die. You literally have to surrender every ounce of like microfiber muscles in your body. That's the power behind it, bro. It's like the fear of like you don't know what's gonna go.

SPEAKER_02 53:49

But yeah, you gotta let go. That's what I've been told anyway.

SPEAKER_01 53:52

This is like this, this will die. This is not even real. A bear can eat me, a car can run me over. I can I can drink myself to death, dude. But I have a soul, bro. I I've seen plenty of dead people and I've seen sleeping people next to dead people. Sleeping people look like they're fucking sleeping and alive, dead people look like they're fucking dead, right? And so, like, that energy is inside me. So I'm like, oh yeah, I'm about to go meet God again. I I went down there for the second time. My intention was to find love for myself. When I was able to fully surrender and like break through, I screamed out of the top of my lungs, I fucking hate you. Like, and I'm just like, I fucking hate you, I fucking hate you. And I just started crying and I had this like really deep weep that I haven't had in I don't know if ever. And uh then I'm you saying this.

SPEAKER_00 54:37

I'm saying this I'm out loud, bro.

SPEAKER_01 54:39

Like I'm in, I'm like laying out like this in this beautiful garden in Mexico, dude. And I'm like, I fucking hate you, I fucking hate you. And then with my same mouth, bro, I start saying, I am you, I am you, I love you, I love you. And I just I fucking lost my shit, dude. And I'm like, I because I wondered, like, if I met God a year ago, why wasn't my life magically changed? Well, I realized the way I believe it is like, if I love you, but you hate yourself, bro, you'll never accept my love. And that's in that's in human form. Would you agree? Yeah, so in a spiritual form, in a cre in a form of creation, if you fucking hate yourself, but you're trying to connect to God, and you're not able to be even open yourself up to receive that love, bro. Like, that's why God can't change, God can create circumstances that transform your life, but to be transformed, you have to choose to do something different about it, right? Like, it's not just like yeah, my car is not gonna magically go left and then my life magically changes. I have to physically in this life make a difference, make a choice difference. And what I realized is I couldn't love myself. I didn't know how to love myself, nor did I love myself. Therefore, I didn't know how to like build this relationship with God, you know, at least at the time, what I what I still perceive perceive God to be. And I came back home with like a whole different, like new perspective of like, I feel I can actually start growing now. And you know, that obviously my relationship with Christ grew from that to the point where now I'm back at another core medical event. My wife's like, bro, you gotta stop coming to these things, but like something big happens every time. I'm like, I know, that's why I'm always gonna be here. But, you know, back to that selfishness that I talked about earlier. I didn't even just I didn't even broach the subject with my wife. I was just having these conversations of battles inside, like and in silence and privacy with myself because my wife and I were we're very similar, but we're still different people. But yet, this is a personal relationship with you know, where I'm going down this road and my decision to get baptized, bro. It was not like, you know what, today's a good day. All my friends are here, let me get baptized. Like, I did not willingly want that. It came to me and I'm like, all right, dude, clearly there's a there's a path for success here. And success to me isn't what I used to think success was, maybe even a year ago. Success to me is like, bro, I'm just so grateful and appreciative of what's right in front of me, because that's all that matters, right? Uh at least for me right now. Wasn't always the case. And I don't know, dude. I just trying to like follow that voice inside my head, and you know, and you talked about, oh, you're helping all these people, but you're suffering too. I've always made that extremely clear. Uh but I'm like, well, fuck, dude, if I'm suffering and going through it and I'm lost and I'm whatever I'm sharing or doing is able to impact people, I'm like, that's fucking powerful, bro. And it's like the it's like the coaches and mentors and gurus you see on the internet with with like not talking shit about any of these cars or per uh materialistic things, but like with the Lambo, the mansion, all the great shit, but there's no origin story behind them. It's like almost unattainable that you can become that person, you know, whether you want that shit or not. And I never ever want to be perceived as like I got my shit together. I'm just so locked in, like I'm fucking locked in now. But like, I'm if I make myself unapproachable, if I make myself unattainable, you'll never even begin your walk, whatever that means to you. And you know, so but it's been a crazy ride, bro. And I'm turning 41 next month, dude. And um, like I've felt change coming into my life, but like, bro, this is this is the year that like I'm used to my capacity. And um, you know, I've been sharing a lot of the stuff on my YouTube channel, which at first, when it was kind of like just like maybe trying to be like characters that I've saw or like maybe emulated, like my talking head videos like never really had an impact as I I was really hoping for, but I just want to help fucking people, bro. That's my passion is helping people, but like now really sharing like this like almost clear vision of like you know, especially like following Christ down, like, but like applying it to my life and still being on the walk, not like hey, I follow Jesus Christ and my life is fucking great. Like, no, my life is not great, dude, but it's better than it's ever been in my life. And um, and to share that message, I've been getting a lot of like dude. For the for once, I get I'm getting comments, dude. Maybe like a hundred comments in a video. There's not one negative shit talking one. Yeah, you know, and if it is, it's like so minute. I don't care either way, but like, which is a huge change of being lost and trying to share a message, not a perfection, but a progress. And then you just get all the fucking haters that everybody just because everyone's miserable, bro. Yeah, everyone's sad in their own way, shape, or form. And yeah, you know, people that don't believe that, you know, I tell stories about like suicide, right? Like some of our friends, dude, like some of the hardest men and women we've ever met in our life, and you know, coming from you know, the Marine Corps and like those dudes are just built different, man. They're just hard. And then everything's great, they get the money, they got the family, they get the job, everything's good to go. They got plans for next week, but they kill themselves that weekend out of fucking nowhere. Yeah, and so it's like you can't tell me that they're not silent wars taking place spiritually or inside your head, you know, that nobody sees. And you know, uh, one of my best friends in the entire world, Dan Brown, dude, he was a SARC, he was with 2nd Raider Battalion. Dude, we literally had plans. I was at a I was at an archery event to learn how to fuse a bow in California. And we literally had plans to meet the following Monday. And like day two, there, I get a call from his wife. She's like, hey, Dan took his life. And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me, dude? And this was one of the hardest dudes I know. And he was on the same like spiritual path as myself, you know, struggling but yet moving forward, you know, really trying to rekindle his relationship, find his balance in his life, whatever spiritual uh life he was working on, also. And like, and this dude just fucking ended it, right? And he was one of the strongest guys I know. And so it's like you can never a compare yourself to literally anybody, and and B, like there's there's literally things that are taking place not in this visual world. If I only see one percent of light spectrum, what else is taking place that I don't see? Well, then magnify that times a gazillion inside my brain where I'm I'm processing like eight, what is it, eight million bits of data a second? Eight billion bits of information a second my brain is processing, I'm not equipped for that, you know? And so if what what do you do? Where's where's the turning point? And for me, like the turning point point was finding something bigger than myself. Um finding something that if I don't do it, I am a coward. You know, not saying if you don't what is that for you? If I fucking cower to my potential, if I cower to my calling, if I cower to my mission, you know, I it I lived one of my psychedelic experiences back during COVID time frame. I I literally lived like a thousand crucifixions in in this one trip. And I'm like walking to my death, not saying that was Jesus, but I'm pretty sure I was like, that was like the depiction message that was coming to me. And I had there was like all these people, like thousands of people on the sideline, bro, watching this dude, me walk to my death. And half those motherfuckers were believers. They're like, Oh, you changed my life, you impacted me, but please don't look at me because I don't want to die too. And there's like a hundred Romans, right? And so out of all those thousands of people on the sideline watching this dude, their their fucking savior, walking to his death, right? To fulfill a prophecy, but to fulfill his life plan or not, they just stood in silence. And at any given time, if he would have been like, Oh no, please don't fucking kill me. I I'm not, I'm not the son of God, please don't, you know. Everything he would have said and did would have been for fucking nothing. It's the same Braveheart story when they're like ripping out of his guts William Wallace, and they're like, just renounce and you'll have a short, quick death. And he's like, Freedom! Yeah, that started a fucking movement and a revolution. Same, same with the you know, the death of Christ and the resurrection. And I re I ref I re fucking refuse that, bro. Like, I don't live in a black, I live in a black and white world. There is no gray, but for the longest time with the selfish conversation, I was choosing to live in gray where it's like, yeah, I know this is wrong, but I'm gonna do it anyway. Or like, man, I really don't have a stance on something. There is, you either serve the light or you serve the dark. There is no in-between. And and I was trying to create my own universe where I'm like, well, I can be open to both. No, bitch. You're either used for good or you're literally used for bad. And used for bad might not be like an external thing that you're doing to harm others, but if you harm yourself, bro, that's you're not even a threat. I choose to be a threat, right? Like, I choose to be on the fucking watch list of darkness, bro, because I'm a strong, powerful fucking person, just like everyone else in everyone in this room, we're all capable of it. But if you're not even tapped into that, if you don't even want to, you're not, you're not even a worry to them, bro. I'd rather be a blip on someone's radar, bro, than a than a non-existence to their thought. And um, to me, that gives me like it gives me something truly to stand for and fight for in my actions. And you know, say with like Jesus talking, God talk, I hear for years. Cody, like when my Sean Ryan show came out, every comment was like, Oh, you need Jesus, you need Jesus. He's like possessed. I'm like, dude, you guys are icky, but I'm like, everyone who's inspired me uh like spiritually has never pushed anything ever on me. They've they but they've led the way. And I'm like, and and they've shown me something different. Like Eddie Penny, you know Eddie Penny? Know of Eddie Penny? He was on Sean Ryan also, he was a SIL team six guy. I watched this shit really savage, dude. Uh, him and his wife are savage. Um, but I follow him for years since this episode. I'm like, man, this guy kind of triggers me still because he's like, Jesus, this, God, that. I'm like, bro, get over it.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:57

I get turned off by that. And I used to big time because I would went through that whole, you know, that's what I didn't want people to see me as. Um, was just someone that was just pushing Jesus on you because there's so much negative that comes with that, like all this mega church pastor stuff and this worship leader, blah, blah, blah, where they look this way and they dress this way and they're cool and they're, you know, and they're like, yeah, you know, and I grew up like in a church conservative Southern Church of Christ thing. And I when I started, when I became a heroin addict, I got turned off by that, you know? Yeah. And I was like, well, I've been going to church, but I'm still shooting dope and doing all this. Like, that's not, this isn't real, you know. And then whenever I, you know, injured in Afghanistan, all these different things, and then finally got off the stuff um and started turning my life around, it was like, yeah, for me, it comes back to Jesus. But it's like you said it's like, man, I want to live it. I want people to see me doing, you know, well in life and and you know, able to help others and like, and then find out, okay, well, what are you doing? What's your secret? And it's like, well, it comes, it comes back to Jesus for me, but here's how I got there, you know, you know what I'm saying? So that's to your point of like, I just I feel like you were kind of the same way with hearing that about Jesus all the time. It's like you just get turned off by all that.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:11

Well, and it just lack of education too. So I met Eddie Penny. So we you heard have you heard of Lad Bible? Yeah. So uh Eddie and I both Lad Bible is a British production where they um they their massive like social media like presence, but they have this this um series called The Meet. And so basically they take like a for instance, the the episode I was on, it was a British sniper and then an American sniper. And then when I met Eddie, he was there for his interview after mine. Uh you basically walk through this like uh abandon bass, and you just kind of like it's like a walking podcast, it's pretty sick. And uh Eddie's was with a uh SBS guy, or yeah, I think SBS guy, which is like the British SEAL equivalent, and then like an adult uh SEAL team six guy, which is being Eddie. And so we're sitting down having a breakfast. I was really excited to meet him. He was excited to meet me. And we're just wrapping it up. And I'm like, I'm like, bro. And I told him the same, like, yo, dude, I watch yourself and it just kind of triggered me. Like, I hear you talk about this shit all the time. He's like, really, man? That's that sucks to hear.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:13

I'm like, I'm amazed, yeah. He's like, I'm just, I'm like, I'm just not into like religion, bro. Like, I don't believe in that. He's like, oh, bro, I'm not religious. I'm like, what?

SPEAKER_02 1:06:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:21

You're not religious. And it just like it, it like an epiphany, like this like neuro, neuropathway hopped in my popped in my brain. I'm like, wait, you're not you you can follow Christ and not be religious? He's like, yeah, bro. I don't, I was like, I'm not into that. I'm like, oh man. So like my perception of what he was always sharing was was back behind a wall of ignorance and like this perception of like religious, like this religious hair, you know, like shit that you hear all the time. And you know, you do you, I don't care, right? Just you do you. That's totally cool. But like it it changed my perception of like what type of relationship I could have. You know, I didn't want a label, like I already told you, I don't like labels, bro. Yeah, and out of a thousand Christians, right? Like, I'm the fucking one, dude. Like, I'm gonna be the one that David Goggins that shit. I'm gonna carry the boat, bro. I'm gonna carry my cross, you know. But the these lukewarm fucking turn an eye, be passive, praise and worship the TV God, right? Believe anything that a man says that's gonna transform their life. I just I can't I don't get behind that. No, that's not everybody.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:25

Yeah, I've I've you know, obviously I grew up uh Baptist and I've been baptized when I was younger and whatnot, but as I've gotten older, um my relationship with with with the church and and Christ and all that is is kind of turned into a how do I explain the best way to explain it is like uh almost like a karma kind of lifestyle. Like I believe in God, I believe in you know uh you know that whole the Bible and the way I I feel like it lays out good moral um path for you to live, right? Um but do good to others and then you know good come back to you kind of kind of lifestyle. So I'm not out there like thumping on the Bible, you know, shoving the gospel down people's throat. I don't I don't I I go to church very rarely, you know. Um I do want to go I I've have been thinking about going back a little bit more because you know my son is gonna be four soon. I definitely want him to at least get in, you know, learn who Christ and you know he goes to a little Christian preschool now, but with when it comes to Christianity, I like, yeah, man, I mean, uh just like you were saying, like, yeah, you know, worship the TV and eye for an eye, this and that. It's more of it's like take the teachings of the Bible, you know, learn it, understand it, apply it in, you know, everyday life. Just just be a good fucking human, you know. And that's how I have kind of lived, you know, uh, you know, being as a a Christian, uh, you know, and I and I'll tell people, yeah, I'm a Christian, I'm a Baptist or whatever, but I'm not, you know, some hardcore Bible thumping person. I just I you know, I just want to be a good person and you know, and and take the teachings of Christ and whatnot, and and yeah, it's in the back of my mind and and and apply it without having to have a megaphone and screaming at people.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:21

Yeah, for sure. I know you know I had the same, I had the same like ideology with it also, but then I realized how that was a selfish life. If only my life gets better, and by default, things around me will get better, but people don't know how to get home to the kingdom. You know, I had a friend of mine, her name is Whitney, uh, Whitney White, uh, her husband's one of my best friends. He's a active duty Air Force uh medic. I was over to the house, it was, I don't remember, it was like a few months ago, and she worded something and she said, She's like, Cody, she's like, I know when I die, God's gonna ask, Whitney, what did you do for the kingdom? And dude, I was stopped in my tracks because I always heard, what did you do for my kingdom? What did you do for my kingdom? Like, like, what did you do? Like, like I'm some peasant servant. The way she said it, it really reshaped how I received all that. Like, what did you do for the kingdom? And I know one of my main sole purposes is to bring souls to the kingdom. There's so many lost souls out there, and you know, I don't have to Bible thump to do that. But if I don't stand for something, and I'm just standing for me, me will die. Me will fade away with the dawn of time, but standing for something will live in eternity. And, you know, we we do that through our acts, and like, bro, I haven't read the Bible off the right. My philosophy and theology on it is like, can I find God if I'm on an island in the pitch black all by myself? The answer is yes. I truly believe that I have access to God through myself. But through that relationship, there's something bigger, right? Because I'm a force multiplier. Because when you are a threat, you realize you have a gift. Our voice is our most powerful thing. So even in my darkness, you know, suffering and you know, fucking spiritual warfare that I still battle, but like all these like crazy tormental things, I was still showing up and still people's lives are being transformed. Can you imagine when that pivots when I still battle? But now I'm using the armor of fucking God. I'm I'm actually standing for something bigger than Cody because Cody will be dead one day, whether I want to or not. It's gonna happen. But if I stand for something bigger, something eternal, that thing that I felt in this concrete room in Mexico, dude, it's it's a trickle effect, dude. And that's what lives things, that's what leads things to live longer than our own human flesh.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:28

And so what do you what do you say to like people that are watching this that are like, oh god, like he's you know, he's become a Christian nut or whatever? Like what what what what kind of what do you say to this?

SPEAKER_01 1:11:41

I don't care, bro. When I when I chose to get baptized, I knew at the time there was some conflict with my with my wife because I didn't even broach this very big, you know, subject.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:52

Which leads me to also ask, you know, I was thinking about this earlier, what how is your wife taking all this and what is her thoughts?

SPEAKER_01 1:11:59

So she's she accepts me whatever I want, whatever she thinks helps me out. But I hurt my wife so much because I didn't even include her in that conversation. And to top it off, I included the world before I included my wife. And that's how I was living selfish, right? I just like I'm just if it's if right now I was told to like get up and go to the bathroom, I just get up and leave. You know, if my my my phone's on don't disturb, but my wife can go through that. She's like on the authorized authorization to ding. If she was a ding right now or call my phone, I would stop talking to you right now. I don't care what we're doing, and I'm gonna answer my phone. And so that's how I was like random, not randomly, but like just okay, Cody, it's it's like the boat's coming again, bro. You're gonna jump or you're not gonna jump. Like you're gonna have to wait again until this thing comes around, bro. Because like the phone keeps on ringing, but you're choosing not the answer. And like, and you wonder why your life is sucking. You wonder why you're not being the man that your wife deserves. You're wondering why you're not even loving your family the way that you they love you unconditionally. And I'm like, how am I not seeing this? You know, and like why am I being like the the crux to all this? And to answer your question about what do people think? I don't care. I don't care what anyone thinks, bro. I didn't, I didn't care who I lost when I chose to surrender to Christ. I don't, I didn't care. And I have not had a conviction like that since I had when I was like seven years old. I'm like, I'm gonna be a commando one day. Like, and I and I've been looking for that level of conviction since I've been on the military because I got out lost, my identity was gone, my purpose was gone, my mission was gone. Like my just I'm a I'm a I have I don't I'm a 33-year-old man that I don't know who I am when I had everything three hours ago before I walked out of the compound with my DD214 and instantly gone, you know? And so yeah, I I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:49

I think that resonates that that right there will resonate with so many because there's so many guys that like being in the military gave them such purpose and a mission, and when they decide to get out, they're they're a little bit lost. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:07

You know, and that's okay, bro. Like, you know, I was talking to this young uh Marine today. I actually met him a few years ago for our 20th uh 20th year Fallujah reunion. We did it on Camp Horno a few years back, and there was a bunch of years.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:20

Yeah, dude, crazy, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:14:21

So this is so this is two years ago, two 2024. And uh there was a bunch of young Marines, uh, two one, second battalion, first Marines in Horno, and like they're like, hey, come take a picture, anyways. This guy messaged me and he he was like, Hey, I got to meet you, you know, a few years ago. I really appreciate what you're doing. And he's like, bro, I got this job, I'm making decent money, man. I'm just like struggling. I'm like, good. I'm like, if you got out and your life was perfect, there would be no growth. You would value nothing. If I got out of the military and I was given millions of dollars, fame, fortune, access to souls, I would have fucking destroyed every ounce of it because I didn't even know how to appreciate what's right in front of me, even though I thought I did, right? Yeah. And I mean, bro, my wife has done nothing but pour love into me. My mom has done nothing but pour love into me. My sons have done nothing but pour love. Strangers have done nothing but pour love into me, and I'm just like rejecting them. And I just didn't know why when I wanted to accept it. And uh, so it's been cool, and I'm okay that I'm about to be 41. And pieces of the puzzle in my life are coming together, not finally, but when they're supposed to. When years ago, you know, seven years ago, I'm like begging and praying. Don't even know what the fuck I'm praying to for these changes. But you know, true transformation doesn't happen overnight. Decisions happen instantly and overnight, but the transformation is the journey that comes from that decision, and you know, and uh yeah, I don't know. Like I said, that's a great question because like I I've seen some of the comments on my social media, like, oh, nothing else is working out for this guy. So now he's like, you know, talking about God and stuff. I'm like, bitch, one, I'll talk about anything I want to, and two, it's that good I'm choosing to be that bold because I would never say that shit in a million years. I'm on a podcast. Uh, hopefully, millions of people listen to this, bro. But if one person listens to this, then they're gonna see a fucking dude who was so cowardish to say he believed in God, but was afraid to claim it, was afraid to claim my authority with that title and and to be bold for it, bro. Like you have to be bold for Christ. And to me, that's the most savage thing ever. I got goosebumps just thinking about it right now, man. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:19

Well, it's like you're saying, most people that comment stuff like that on the internet are miserable in themselves, you know, and that's what I've learned is like, especially having a platform and having an audience that listens, you have to get to where you don't care. Like if you're just living out your truth and authenticity, and you know, that's that's your truth. And the ones that are gonna gain from that and benefit from that are the ones that are meant to benefit from that. And maybe the ones that are very critical of it in a sense are actually the ones that finally opened their eyes to it because that was what it took for me to finally start listening to someone like that was not some preacher in a pulpit and a nice suit with a tie on telling me about why I need Jesus, it'll fix my problems. I needed someone that's been there, done that, gone through it, really walked the walk, really tried everything else first, and then came back around to it. And that's where I learned from that, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:08

Which is crazy because I've had a bunch of people in my life like try to witness for me and like to me, and I'm like, and I'm like, bro, you don't know anything, bro. Like, I don't need a pathway to get to God. Right. I don't need like it's inside me, it says it in the Bible, bro. Like, I'm connected to it. Like, you know, and like I'm rejecting these conversations, but it's not necessarily they weren't people that I didn't want to be like, but the demon of fear, the spirit of fear inside me to to open up even more for a guy who said he was already open, right? For the amount of psychedelics I've done and spiritual searching that I've done, you know, I was still so closed off because to me, believing in God or following Christ was like a it was like a not an end of the road, but it was like this box now that there's no more exploring.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:52

Which is crazy it's crazy to hear because over the years of of us knowing each other and watching you, like I've always thought it's like, man, Cody speaks his mind, he's so outspoken, he doesn't give a fuck. You know, he's gonna say what he's gonna say. So, you know, to hear you deal with those struggles and then finally just coming to a front with it and be like, I don't give a fuck anymore. This is what I'm gonna talk about. I don't care who's in the comments or X, Y, and Z. I'm I'm just gonna talk about it. So, dude, it's just it's awesome to see your growth over the years, and it's just it just blows my mind because I mean, I think everybody would be a liar if they say that they don't oh, I don't give a shit what people think. I'm gonna do whatever. No, I think everybody gets inside their head and they worry what's gonna end up in the comment section. I'm guilty of it myself, right? So you're it's dude, inspiring for sure to me, especially to try to get in front of a lot of that, the hate in the comments and just speak your mind, be true to yourself. And you know, and again, like I said, it's it's been awesome to see you grow over you know over the years of someone that I already thought was already so grown, you know, if that makes sense, whatever. So it's definitely inspiring, and I hope it inspires a lot of people going into this new year. I mean, dang man, we're already at April. What do you have planned for 2026? Like, what else?

SPEAKER_02 1:19:14

What's yeah, what's next for Cody now? I'm not forcing anything in my life. Preacher, you're gonna go to become a preacher now?

SPEAKER_01 1:19:19

You know what's Bible school, going to Bible college. I can see it. I I will definitely say those those thoughts have come and like a lot of comments from YouTube have like come and like I'm like, oh, all right, not what I want. Let me not, it's not necessarily what I don't want to do what I want anymore, but it's I what I do to a fault is I try to control the narrative and I try to overthink things. Yeah. And so I have zero plans other than just to like focus on being present. Like, even this, I've been telling myself, bro, I'm tired of traveling, I'm tired of being away from home and do this trip. I got here at 7 p.m. Yeah, it is that time now, and I'm flying out tomorrow at 6 a.m. Right. And like I asked for this. You know what I haven't done? I haven't bitched once about my flights early. Uh, you know, I might not get any sleep tonight because I asked for this and I'm just embracing what's in front of me because all I care about is my family. And I actually just text my wife. I texted her today, I said, Hey, I can I read to you?

SPEAKER_00 1:20:10

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I stood while you're looking that up, it's it's Evan asked me, you know, he's like, is he staying an extra day? I said, No, man, he's leaving at like four in the morning. He's like, What? I was like, dude, he made it clear he need he wants to get home to his family. He's got family stuff he wants to do, and that's important to him. And so if that means getting up at 4 a.m., that's what he's gonna do. So it's funny, we just had that conversation after pick him up.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:34

This is what I wrote my wife today when I was thinking it was in I had a stop in DFW. I was in DFW and I texted her this. I said, I've never said this out loud, or in in the or in this case, texting it, but I will fight to my last breath for you and our family. Our love and our connection, you bring me up to heights I've never been before, and are exactly what I prayed for my entire life. I'm excited where we're headed, and as silly as it sounds, I'm sorry I've taken so long to become the man you deserve. I've always wanted to be from day one, and you stood by my side through it all. I would have always protected our family, but I was never specific about what I'm protecting and defending. Our love is priceless. And uh, I said just on my heart, I wanted to share.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:13

That's good, man. That's powerful.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:15

How long have y'all been married? Ten years now. Ten years. Yeah, so I think it was eight ten years. Yeah. Yeah, ten years, bro. We actually started going to counseling, and I was really kind of put to the side when my wife brought this up. And I was like, because I knew there was something off, or like I said, like my it's not that fact that I'm She was going without you. No, no, no, she wasn't going without me. But like my wife realized just how selfish I have been, and like how she wasn't, you know, maybe holding the best boundaries for herself or like telling me exactly how she feels, right? And and so when this old this thing came up, I'm like, bro, this is like the best thing ever. And uh it's it's given us both an opportunity to be present for each other and to learn different ways to communicate. And what's blowing my mind is the fact that like I didn't do this years ago, you know, and there's there was not like crazy problems in my marriage, right? But there's things that needed to die and so things can grow. And what one thing I told her about the most importantly to me is like, bro, all these other like mentors that I follow online and like know in real life, they've all had shitty marriages, went to some form of counseling, and then have like the best marriages, and they're like, they're just they're they're blessing people in their lives or changing their entire lives. And I'm like, so I'm like, I'm so excited because what we had it won't take us to where we're going, you know, where we're called to, because like I've never been more of a man than I am now, and I'm not perfect, but I've never been more present and purposeful in my actions. And shit, I've been going to counseling for like three weeks now. So I'll just say that the past three weeks of my life, it's it's made me so excited. And it's given my wife an opportunity to be heard and to communicate. And we're like just learning different ways, and it's only making us stronger for our son and for the things that we believe in. And it's really helped me like get out because I'm like, yep, you're right. Everything that you're saying that I've done wrong, I own it, bro. Like that, I have been selfish, I have been hurtful, I've been only thinking about me and not thinking about the second order effects that it brings to my family. And I mean, to include like blessing people, bro. I've been blessing people for years, combining their food, groceries, send the money, but I've been taking from my family, but I'm doing good. I'm doing because I want to do good. But what what I'm doing is I'm I'm I'm I'm stealing from the people that are depending on me to to rise to my full potential. And uh it's just been I'm just so grateful that I'm we're at an opportunity together because she's a she's a winner, not a quitter. And you know, it's taken her initiative to start it, but it's like now I'm getting that opportunity to step up. And you know, it's it's crazy how life works, man. The guy who's our our counselor, if you want to call him that, I met him like three years ago on a podcast. He was a co-host. And uh I'm like, my wife's like, hey, we need to go to counseling and you need you're gonna figure it out. I'm like, fuck. Because I was a I was a loser, bro. I was a fucking, you know, I ride beta because beta on a dirt bike is savage, but I was being a beta male. I wasn't leading my family, I wasn't making decisions, I wasn't being decisive and like, you know, convicted. And I'm like, bro, I know exactly the guy, but I never would have known him if I didn't meet him three years ago when I'm like still struggling, my marriage wasn't the best. You know, my marriage has always been the best. Cody hasn't been the best, which then affects and influences my environment. So, but yeah, if anyone's out there listening, dude, go to counseling, even if your life is great, because there's there's different things like dude. Two years ago, I asked my wife because I saw it on an Instagram reel, do you make your wife feel safe? I'm like, what the fuck does that mean? So our son gets put to bed and I'm the guns I have? Of course she sick. Yeah, of course you sick, bro.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:52

I got one more stock, motherfucker. I got one saved his life on the block.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:56

And that's what I thought a man was, right? Like, I could I could protect my family. Yeah, yeah. And so one night we're sitting on the couch. I'm like, Do I make you feel safe? And she's like, Well, sometimes, and dude, I just I just crumbled. Yeah, and my wife is a super honest. If there's a pure person, bro, it's my wife, dude. I'm just like, wow, it's it's probably just women in general, you know? And I'm like, wow, you're just such an amazing person.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:18

Why am I such a bad person? That's what I feel about my wife. I'm like, you're such a such a pure soul.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:25

Well, I don't even I don't even know her, and you can just tell from your story. That's what impressed me when you said 10 years. Because I was thinking y'all been married a year and she hadn't, but she's she's stuck it out, and that's that's what's tough, I think, these days, too, because that's hard to find, dude. It's just a lot of a lot of relationships aren't lasting that long because everybody's given up. You gotta have someone that sticks it out. My wife told me like a month ago, she's like, I didn't get married to you to quit when it's hard. That's to all my exes, by the way. Stick it out with your man, you know. They gave up on me real quick. And I'm changing.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:56

I'm glad every relationship, you know, did not last in my life to to meet my wife, Stephanie. And uh, dude, she's just been such a great person. Like that's awesome. Health, wellness, and she what's so really savage about her is like we have different views and beliefs on some things. We're very together in a lot of things.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:11

Uh, but I'm like, I watch her from the sidelines, dude. I'm just like, bro, you impact so many people when she doesn't want to be on social media, she wants to be left alone. But I'm like, when you do speak, when you do share your mom car rants or your crazy chicken, you know, adventures or your your rock gathering, like there's so many men and women that are impacted by that, bro. Like, yeah, you know, I've always been like uh a representative for core because it's changed my life. But dude, my wife has changed so many people's lives with like helping them get parasite detox, heavy metal detox, like healthier things around your house. Like, you'd be surprised the crap that's underneath your sink, and you're like, oh, it's just Clorox. Clorox is killing your hormone that's disrupting your entire endocrine system.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:54

My wife doesn't watch this episode because she's gonna hammer it away. She'll be like, I told you so. No, your wife and my wife, they're there's they're on the same page.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:01

But you gotta think, but you you gotta think, man, you know, go go back to like a spiritual aspect or just go back to good and evil, man. Like, you know, if we really lived in a good world, don't you think our own government or whoever controlled TV would be coming out on the news channels and saying, Listen, everyone, I know you're struggling out in life, but you're such a powerful person, and I believe in you. Never once has that ever been said. So tell me why the the national broadcast doesn't encourage the most powerful creatures of existence that are connected to creator itself, encouraging them to rise to their fullest potential. What is it? It's turmoil, yeah, it's destruction, it's death.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:36

Yeah, it's it's it's all dependent on government. It's more division, it's not yeah, it's just pharmacy, big pharma.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:43

They need you taking pills, they need you doing this, because all they have to do, it's not one thing that defeats you in your soul, it's a series of things that get unaddressed. So the simple aspect of like, man, I've always wanted to start a podcast and I don't do it. You're defeating yourself because the the the the spirit of fear and Doubt and insecurity is keeping you from going. Therefore, you're not a threat, right? And the more that you push into like your calling your purpose, even if you don't know what it is, and I and to be honest with you, I don't know exactly where I'm going in life. I just know that I'm not driving anymore. And to surrender to like, okay, well, my problems aren't solved today. Well, guess what? Me stressing about them through dinner time, through through putting our my son to sleep, is not gonna help either. So guess what? That's a tomorrow problem. And I'm just super grateful that I get to walk barefoot in the grass and I get to hug my wife who loves me and I get to see a kid. Put down your phone. I'm like, son, let me just finish this one text. You know, like he always catches me like when I'm actually putting it down. But you know, that wasn't always the case. But yeah, it's like we're so powerful.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:45

That's something that I did when my when my when my my boy wants to crawl in my lap or do something like my instantly, I don't care what I'm doing. I put my phone down like right away. I mean, that's not every time. There's some times where I'm in the middle of like uh uh texting someone, it's something that needs to be answered right now. But 95% of the time, I'm put it down. I'm right there with him. I want to I want to play and interact with him. I don't I don't want him to see like be ignored always or grow up and be like, oh, dad never listened to me. He just was in deep in his phone or something like that.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:15

Well, what I'm noticing with my my son, he he he doesn't always want me to participate with him, he but he wants me to watch him. And then I go back to my little Cody years, and I just wanted my parents to watch me play video games. I wanted them to watch me do something that I enjoy doing. And I'm like, holy crap, fulls come full circle here. Yeah, and you know, that's that's the best love we can give these kids, you know, because dude, our kids are the reapers of our future, right? And if we don't, if we don't lead them to the best of our ability, whether that's you you doing anything that I'm saying or you're doing your own thing, it's either way, it doesn't matter. But if if we're not leading them the right way, then we're really repeating that cycle. And you know, my my bloodline traumatic, you know, childhoods and um oppression will not continue on once I'm gone, bro. And like, you know, you've heard of like childhood trauma. I started working on that when I was in my 30s, right? Like mid-30s, childhood trauma. You know, my dad loved me, my dad was proud of me, but you know, I didn't hear it enough verbally how I needed to directly, right? But but he was proud of me. I knew that existed, but I needed to hear, Cody, son, I'm proud of you, man. I'm really proud of you. I never heard those exact words, you know, and that really fucked me up, or that's why I realized I was so successful in the military because I'm like, I'm never good enough, even though my dad never ever, my dad was savage, bro. But like those small things that you didn't think was a bad deal or really disrupt you, it it it created me enough to be just psychotic enough to not be a you know a psycho murderer, but to be a semi-psycho for the right for the right, yeah, you know, for the legally world war terrorism. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Winky winky.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:49

But um do it for the acceptable.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:52

Yeah, life's a wild riot. But you know, one thing I want to give give shout out to you, man. Like I got introduced to you, bro, five years ago? Something crazy. And you share with me your story of Savage Tactician about like where you're on the fence of like maybe selling it potentially, but then you decided not to, and look what you're doing now. And you've never taken from me, you've always given to me, dude. Kevin helped me. I remember when I was going through my logo hiatus because I was trying to find my identity and like I'm changing my my color schemes, my logos like every day because I'm I'm trying to find a way. I'm just so confused and conflicted in life. And Kevin like hires an artist, gets me taken care of. I'm like, all right, this will last me like a week.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:34

Um, help me with help me with resources and networks, man. But like, dude, you've always had my back, and we didn't even know each other really in the flesh. We only knew each other. I think actually we met each other through Tim Bamford from uh the Grind Athletics. Yeah, and uh and in a competitive space, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:31:48

Because you're doing clothes too. Yeah, I mean, yeah, so we defy the norm. Yeah, you wouldn't see that where someone who also does that would want to help you, you know what I mean? It'd be like, fuck you, dude. I'm not yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:57

My buddy Marcus, he's a he's a SWAT officer, he's a SWAT sergeant in uh Goodyear, uh Arizona. He was like, Oh, dude, I love Savage Tactician. I'm like, You traitor. He's like, he's like, bro, but I was wearing your built different shirt for three days, and my wife had to tell me like basically changed my shirts and uh, but uh we're not even competition, and you know, what I used to think was competition back in the day, it's like Kevin's not worried about me because I'm not worried about him because we're gonna grow more together, you know. Yeah, because he can give me all the secrets and all the playbook, but if I don't take action and I don't execute, I can't do anything. And I'm so glad none of our previous partnerships ever worked out because I would not have respected that because I didn't obviously respect myself or where I was at. But all these opportunities have helped me kind of like shift and grow, bro.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:40

And I really appreciate you so oh dude, yeah, I mean, I I think I've always made it clear, like, you know, I want to see, you know, well obviously we've built a friendship, but you know, before that, not really knowing each other on a personal level level, uh like people in our vertical, just veterans, first responders, whatnot, like I want to see us grow and do good. Like there's too much bullshit, there's too much hate in the comment section, as we have we've addressed before, but I want to see us thrive, you know, and if if that comes down to us helping each other behind the scenes, then so be it. Like that's I just want to see us grow at the end of the day, everybody win. Yeah, you know, um there's a lot of competition out there, but uh there's enough, there's enough to go around for everybody.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:28

Well, yeah, yeah. I I say it like the two-A industry, right? The gun industry is like super fucking whack. Everyone is just like, I'm better than you. Look at this new ism that I created or this new verbiage that I use. I'm like, you idiots. If you guys would just team up together, we wouldn't have all this like little girl bickering, dude. It's like the the most deadliest tools in existence of man are the biggest whiny poo-poo pants, right? They can't get their shit together, everyone hates on each other. I'm like, you guys are insane, and obviously that's a mixture of civilians and veterans, but uh yeah, you know, this space, dude, like I don't have competition with there's I don't have competition, even there was five versions of me, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:05

We're we're we're we're making something different, different messages altogether, but at the same time, it's the same message, you know. Like, look at your shirt, like everything you've been preaching today, like no weak shit, bro. Yeah, no weak shit. I mean to me, reading that no weak shit, like it's everything that you embody that you've been delivered here today, like that you delivered the message here today. It's to me, it's being who you are, not afraid to be who you are, and to deliver the message that you feel like needs to be delivered. And knowing that that message that you deliver may rub someone the wrong way or cause someone to just be hateful and want to talk some shit. You know what? Cody's gonna still deliver the message. That's no weak shit. You know, being weak would be cowering to what are they gonna think? What are they gonna comment? Um I better not post this, whatever.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:01

I've and I've been that way. Even when I designed this shirt, right? So it's gotta it's gonna like kind of like David Crockett fighting a bear in the back end. When I made this shirt, I'm like, uh, our friend Danny's like, bro, I don't know, man. Don't put don't put shit on a shirt. I'm like, nah, bro, we're putting shit on a shirt. And every time I have like a like profanity on a t-shirt, they just it's top seller, bro. And uh, but I I was nervous to wear this in town. You believe that? I was nervous to wear my own shit that I put out because that's how confused and not convicted I was in what I was. And what's crazy about it, it's not that I didn't believe in design or the message. I didn't really know the message was important to me, but I really didn't know like where it was homed at, right? Yeah, and what's crazy is like looking back now, like all my designs live bolder, defy conformity, no weak shit, uh, no sacrifice, no change. Like, all these messages are like super like spiritual in a way. And I'm like, get out of here, bro. So when I look at the origin of We Defy the Norm, we defy the norm is really finding home, man. We Defy the Norm is finding that that thing that keeps you going, that doesn't just keep you going with your head down, but it keeps you going with your head held high because at the end of the fucking day, nothing in this life can stop you, you know? And uh it's I got goosebumps thinking about that, man. And it's been really beautiful to see the my rejection of faith because I'm like, I got I got the answers, bro. You don't know nothing. You you need to do more psychedelics, you don't you don't know, but I didn't know because I was just scared. And if I'm scared in the spiritual world, how many, how many people are scared in their physical world? How many people are scared in their spiritual world? And it's been really cool to like bear witness and like be my own like flag waiver, not to self-uh promote Cody, but to like fuck it. That guy can say I couldn't say God, bro, four years ago. Couldn't even say it without getting icky. Yeah, that's a fact. Couldn't even say it.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:52

I could say universe in lieu of yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't want to be labeled. I didn't want to offend someone else either, or I didn't want someone to think that I was this big God person because I said God, but yeah, no, no, I still have to show up every day, bro.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:05

God can call me all he wants to, dude, but at the end of the day, like I can and what helped me the most is like calling it what it is. Yeah, being a coward. I can either be a coward or I can be bold. And I'm like, I do not like the coward word being used representing myself, but my soul or my calling or my purpose. And when I started calling it what it was to the core, right? The no holes bar with myself, I'm like, oh, okay, I see what what I decided, I see what pants I decided to put on, you know, and like that there's a lot of responsibility with that. And it's not about being perfect or you're just so no, I'm not fucking perfect. I'm an imperfect person, but I choose to not use that as an identity to hold me back anymore. I choose to completely surrender and walk for something bigger than myself because it that will literally, like I said earlier, impact and eternity, right? I'm gonna die. People forget about me as soon as I'm dead, but they won't forget about what they were impacted by, you know?

SPEAKER_02 1:37:59

Yeah. And it all comes back to getting your blood work done, right, guys? That's that was honest thing it does. That's the message here. It does what I'm hearing. Balance horse. Get your blood work done. Facts.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:09

All in all, I think you know, it's it's been great having you on, Cody. People that don't know who Cody is. You know now, motherfucker. You don't know now, bitch. Hopefully, you got to really learn who he is. He, you know, you know, just tearing yourself down. Yeah. And thanks for being vulnerable. Yeah. Yeah. Um, you know, it's awesome. I think again, if you don't know who Cody is, go check him out. You know, um, you know, hear what he has to say, you know, be inspired to do better and be better. You know, what's your handle? Uh, the Cody Alford. The Cody Alford, you know, check him out. Um again, dude. You know, I I I'm super appreciative of our friendship and you making the journey out here to talk with us and just deliver your message. Hopefully, this inspires uh those who have stuck around. I know it was a long episode for us, but I think you just had a lot of good stuff to give us, and I think it was worth those out there to hear it. And uh message, yeah, very aspiring. Very good. I think you know, you've come a long way. Uh you know, everything I've seen. And, you know, I think you got we still have a long journey ahead of us, but dude, amazing so far. You know, the stuff you've done, active duty, and then now posts, awesome. So, you know, check them out, Cody Alfred, and then we defy the norm as his uh clothing brand. He has some really cool stuff, like that t-shirt up there. And then again, guys, I just want to circle back around. I know we've hit on it a little bit, but do not put your health on the back burner. Go check out core medical group, get your blood work done, see where they can help you out. Mention Light Duty Podcast, save some money, and you know, come back and thank us, you know. But yeah, all in all, that's it. We're gonna wrap it up. But uh again, thank you, Cody. Appreciate it, man. Thank you, Phil.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:55

Appreciate it, man.