God in My Story: Corey Wright

A testimony from Corey Wright.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:03

Welcome to the Life Church Podcast, a place where the Word of God comes alive through scripture teaching and real stories of faith. Each episode, we dive deep into the Bible and share what God is doing in and through Life Church Windsboro, and we're going to hear powerful testimonies from people walking daily with Jesus. Whether you're seeking spiritual growth, encouragement, or a closer relationship with Christ, you're in the right place. No matter where you are on your journey, our prayer is that this podcast feeds your soul, strengthens your walk with Christ, and draws you closer to the heart of God. Let's get started. And welcome back to the podcast. I'm Jason Foster, and this is the next episode in our series titled God and My Story. Today, we're sitting down with Corey Wright to hear a very personal story about walking through seasons of isolation, addiction, and moments where he questioned if life was worth continuing. But this isn't just a story about hardship. It's a story about how God meets us in our darkest places, how he brings hope when everything feels lost, and it's a testimony about how God can turn our afflictions into something meaningful and redemptive. The month of May has long been designated as Mental Health Awareness Month, and we want to take this time to talk about something that impacts so many. We hope you find this conversation to be honest, real, and full of encouragement. Corey, I want to welcome you and thank you for being here with me today. And I'd like to ask you just to give us an introduction to yourself and tell us a little bit about yourself before we get into the conversation.

SPEAKER_00 1:44

Sure, I appreciate it. So I'm really happy to be here. We have two kids, Canaan and Judah. One's four and one is uh just turned one. You know, uh I guess my story begins when uh, you know, like growing up, I grew up in a really small town um called Crowville, Louisiana, and I grew up on a row crop farm. And that uh gave me a love for agriculture. So from there I went to Louisiana Tech University where I got my uh agriculture business degree. And after that, I started working for an agricultural company, but I wanted to continue my education somewhere, um, and I I wanted to continue and to learn more about the word, so I decided to get a biblical certificate from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. And I learned a lot from that, and it's been a great blessing to my walk with Christ. Um, but now I am a regional sales manager for an agricultural input company, and um I'm just happy to be here and glad to get this started.

SPEAKER_01 3:08

Yeah, I I'm excited. I've I've really enjoyed our time uh as we've been preparing preparing for this. Um so let's talk about the reason why you're why you're willing to be so transparent with us today uh about about this story that you're you're gonna share.

SPEAKER_00 3:24

Yeah, so you know, before this uh podcast, you know, the only person that knew a lot of these things about me is my wife. Uh so you know it's kind of what has brought me to this point is finding freedom and finding, you know, uh Christ where I was and really just wanting someone to be able to not have to go through what I went through, if possible. You know, growing up, mental health wasn't a really big thing that we talked about as a uh society in a rural community, especially in the Bible Belt. Uh, you know, a lot of times, especially in religious circles, if if you're dealing with mental health, it was it was shunned and looked upon as maybe you wasn't where you needed to be with Christ. And and those type of thoughts and those type of messages bring us even more mental health issues. Uh, they're not the solution to the problem. But I think the solution to the problem is is getting aware of uh mental health and not only just uh your mental health, but being aware of others' mental health as well. Yeah, and uh being gracious towards those that do have mental health issues. Um, you know, I struggled with mental health from a really, really early childhood. Um and I can remember, you know, just having that fear and that anxiety, laying laying in bed at night, being able to sleep at such a young age, and and how that affected me and how that um it played into because a lot of my anxiety came from um from religion and it came from um specifically the fear of going to hell. And that was tough as a young person because I was always a little bit more aware, you know, than than most people. Um I was aware at a at a young age, and my parents were great, you know. They they would console me and they would say, you know, uh things like it's you know the age of accountability. Um but I would then I would turn around and say, well, what is the age of accountability? They couldn't give me an answer. So they, you know, they would say, Well, it's when you understand, son. And I'm thinking, sitting here thinking, I understand, you know, I or I think I understand uh the concept of what salvation was at the time. And I knew that I have not or did not at that time perform those things that needed to be performed in order to obtain salvation uh with how I was raised. Right. Um and so I just knew that if the Lord came, I would go to hell. And I sat there and I can remember, you know, probably eight or nine sitting there and just breaking out in a cold sweat and a panic attack because I literally would just imagine the worst pain possible on top of the most anxiety possible. And I would I would become infatuated with it. And I would focus on it so deeply that that it almost became like a part of me. Um and so that was that was really my first uh experience with anxiety. Um and then, you know, growing up as a as a young adult, uh, everybody hates 12 and 13 because you know that's when we hit that lucky stage and everything starts to change. But but for me, it was it was more um, it was it was more intense than most most kids my age because uh I had a lot of social anxiety that came with that time in my life. Uh, you know, that's the time when you start liking girls and start becoming interested in them. And uh I had a lot of um social anxiety uh around just public places. I mean, it was to the point to where it was crippling. Uh you know, I would play sports or or have a test coming up, or even my first two weeks of high school, starting high school, in my first two weeks of college, like I literally would get so worked up in the mornings that when I woke up that I would run straight to the bathroom and throw up because I was in such a heightened state of panic at the time.

SPEAKER_01 8:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:43

And so that was really hard to deal with. And, you know, my parents finally took me to the doctor and uh they were like, well, that's just a nervous stomach, you know, that's what they called it. That's just a nervous stomach. So um they would give me some like pepsit and some stuff for it and say, take it when you get upset stomach. And that was that was it. And you know, looking back, I don't blame anyone for not finding this because um I was 34 uh when I was diagnosed with ADHD. Uh I'm 35 now. So I've only been um taking the medication, the proper medication for my um for my condition for a year now. And things have improved dramatically for me in this year. Um, but but I've you know I've really struggled throughout my years of just gaining some sense of of peace and understanding about why my brain worked the way it did. Yeah, you know, I always knew that it was different, even from a young age. I knew that I didn't think like others thought, that uh my emotions were too high for a normal person my age. And um, so I was very aware of all those things, but even being aware of them doesn't really help you self-regulate sometimes, you know, uh especially when you've never been taught to self-regulate. Um, so but you know, out of all the trying times that I've had with mental health, um I would probably say that my most trying times uh have been, you know, probably starting in 2020 is when my most trying times uh started. So me and Anna Claire, we got married in 2018. And uh, you know, the first two years were great, and uh the honeymoon phase and and everything worked out, you know, just the way it was supposed to. And uh when that, you know, when the honeymoon phase started wearing off, I uh I started having some anxieties, um, just life, you know, typical anxieties, normal things that most people get anxious about. Uh, but my anxiety was really intense. And I would kind of shut off um and I would isolate because that's all I've ever, that's all I've ever known was uh whenever I would go through a mental health crisis, when I would be going through depression or bouts of really bad anxiety. My my first instinct was to isolate because I didn't want anybody to see me like this. Yeah. Uh because there was a lot of shame that came along with it. There was a lot of uh I knew people couldn't understand, especially people that's never had a mental health issue, uh, don't understand. So I isolated, and that was how I coped until you know, until I got married and I couldn't anymore. But like when I was single and something was bothering me, um there would be weekends that I didn't even come out of my house. And I would go to work and come straight back home and just be alone because I was in such a place that I didn't want anyone to see me like that. So after the marriage and and I couldn't isolate anymore like I, you know, like I normally would. Um and then there was the added pressure of, you know, I'm trying to lead a family, I'm trying to lead uh a woman in the way that she should go. And I'm having all these anxieties and all these life problems, and I can't be there for her like I should. So um, you know, 2020 came around and and COVID, and my anxieties were just getting worse, uh, not really over COVID, but just during that time I had a lot of anxieties. So I decided to Google natural remedies for anxiety. And uh one of the things that came up was a plant called Kratom. And I don't know if you've ever heard of Kratom. I have not. Okay. So it is a plant, uh, and I don't know exactly where it's grown, but it's a plant that's crushed up, and you mix it like a powder and you drink it. And when I got online and read about it, everybody was like, it works great for anxiety, it works great for depression, it's good on pain. Um there's even stories about people overcoming um opiate addiction with this stuff, Kratom, uh, this safe natural plant, supposedly. So I started taking it, and um it really helped for a little while.

SPEAKER_01 14:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:44

And then um then my tolerance grew. And so I had to start taking some more. And you know, Anna Claire saw this at the time, and and she didn't really know anything. Like it's it was legal. All you had to do was go to a gas station and buy a plant and start taking it. Um so you were buying it was actually a plant you were buying, or it was in pill form? So it was actually just powder form. Oh, you didn't? It was just like ground up leaves, okay. Ground up plant leaves. But um, so what kratom actually does is it works on the opioid receptors in your brain. So if you took uh fentanyl, or you took heroin or you take kratom, it's all working on the same receptors. And so I didn't really know this at the time. Um and then it started becoming a strain on me financially because I started needing more and more uh to get the same effects, and so they had um they had concentrated versions of it. And so I started taking the concentrated version.

SPEAKER_01 16:02

And then that's when it really started taking a toll on my pocket, and uh so at this point you're still you're still operating under the idea that you're dealing with with anxiety? Yes, and so and so you said it it was helping. So what exactly did it just take away some of that um anxieties as far as like you know, feeling like you wanted to isolate and and you know, yeah, just make it more sociable, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 16:32

Yeah, it made me more sociable. Uh it uh calmed my thoughts, it it uh the thoughts that I did have weren't so emotional. Um because that's one thing with ADHD is emotional dysregulation. And uh I was able to control my emotions a lot better, and I was able to to be a better person for Anaclair, I thought. Right, you felt like you were I felt like I was, I felt like I was showing up. Um and the one of the biggest things that people need to know about ADHD is people with ADHD have lower base levels of dopamine. So dopamine is the brain chemical that is uh that helps in motivation and it's um it plays a big part in the prefrontal cortex where decision making and uh those type things, emotional regulation and things like that take place. And so people with uh low dopamine generally and can a lot of times have overlapping levels of anxiety and depression because of the lack of the dopamine. So when I was taking the substance kratom, it was giving me a dopamine level uh probably that equal to or probably unrestricted greater than what a normal person would have. So um we uh I started, I was taking it, and then uh we had a tragedy in the family. And my my wife's uh sister passed away suddenly of a heart attack, and uh this was probably during the most peak use that I was doing. And uh I said, okay, you know, I've gotta get off this stuff, but this is not a good time. I have to be there for Anna Claire. Um, I and so she was emotionally distraught, obviously. Um, I didn't know what to do, I didn't know how to console her. Um, but I wanted to be there for her, and so I continued to take it. Um and then shortly after that, I decided to get off. And when I did, I was like, I'm just gonna do it cold turkey. Looking back now, that was not very smart or very safe. Um, because there are, you know, there have been deaths from opiate withdrawal. Um and so the worst imaginable anxiety and depression I've ever felt in my entire life is when I was coming off of the substance. Um because I was so used to getting a certain amount of dopamine that I was not getting that anymore. Yeah. So I literally, for you know, 10 days, I laid in a bed and squalled and just couldn't get it together and was, you know, felt like my skin was crawling, felt like I didn't have, I didn't fit in my body. Um so uncomfortable. And at this time I'm not eating or sleeping. I'm getting like two hours of sleep a night. Um I'm not eating hardly anything, and it's because of the withdrawals make you incredibly sick um in any way that you can imagine. Fever, um, cold sweats, nausea, vomiting. It was it was terrible. And so by day 10, I was completely just drained of all energy and motivation, anything. And I I woke Anna Claire up at two o'clock in the morning, and this is this is only a couple months after her sister passed away. And I said, You you've got to take me to the hospital. And she said, Okay. So she drove me to the hospital, I told him what was going on. I told him I was 10 days uh from detoxing, and I'm still this this way. You know, I thought three to five days. That's what I read online three to five days, and it's over with. And I was day 10 and just couldn't get out of bed. Right. So um it took me to the hospital and they They uh started me on Benadryl to help calm me down. My heart rate was like 140, and my blood pressure was like 160 over 100 or something. Uh just sheer panic, just no other reason. Um, and so when I got to the hospital, the doctor said, Hey, we're going to give you some medicine, help you sleep tonight, and then you can go home in the morning. And uh I told the doctor, I said, I'm I can't do that. And she says, What do you mean? I was like, I can't go back home and be alone. I said, I need someone there. Because Anna Claire had to work. Um, and she's like, Well, are you, you know, she said, are you thinking about taking your life? And I said, No. I said, I'm not. But I've struggled with this my whole life, and I've not had any relief from it in a long time, and I need to be evaluated. So that uh led to my first hospital stay. And um, I stayed in a mental hospital for five days while getting evaluated. And that's that's a conversation for another time because the things that I saw in there and the things that went on is insane. Yeah. Uh literally, it's it's not a place that I would recommend anybody having to go. Um but you know, after that situation, um after five days in the hospital, gave me kind of they upped my medicine. Um and I was taking very little, I was taking uh the lowest dose antidepressant at this time as possible. Um, and so they upped my medication, put me on a new medication, and uh sent me home. Again, there's so they're still thinking from the from the perspective of anxiety, right? Yes, yes, anxiety and depression only. Okay. Uh so that at this point they're only treating me for anxiety and depression. So uh the next few months were tough. Um so the thing about opiate addiction is it can take up to uh 12 months for your brain to fully uh regulate. And I had been taking Kratom for a year. So even though I was on medication, I was still, and so what I did was I turned to my faith. You know, I turned to um to trying to lead my family, but it was tough. Uh I was going through a really tough season. I I started working out and doing ice ice plunges, uh, started doing the sauna, anything, meditating, anything I could think of to just give me some relief. Yeah. Um and it got me to a point to where I was I was feeling better. And so when I was feeling better, I've always been anti-medicine. I've just been kind of anti-pharmaceutical. That's just me personally, that's how I've always played things. Yeah. Um, and so I decided that um I'd get off my medicine. And I decided to do it by myself. So I was like, all right, I'm gonna do this over three months, and I'm gonna titrate myself off. Well, three months isn't long enough to do that, and I I remember coming off my last medicine. I was doing well uh up until my very last medicine that I decided to try to get off of. And uh one thing about serotonin uh receptors is uh SSRIs are very hard to come off of. And I didn't know this at the time. Um and that's why I urge people to educate themselves on any medication before they take it. Um but you know, coming off of SSRIs and uh dopamine, um it was probably I made it two days with without any medication, um, and then it hit me, and it was like a freight train.

SPEAKER_01 27:10

Really?

SPEAKER_00 27:11

I woke up in the middle of the night having a panic attack. Um, I was sweating, and you know, I got up and I drove myself to the hospital. And they told me, they said, all you need to do is resume your medication. So I said, okay. So they didn't give me anything new. I went home and started my medication. Well, the thing about these medications is once they're out of your system, um, it takes up to four weeks for them to completely saturate your system again. Um, so I was not eating, I wasn't sleeping, and I probably rocked on for about a week, not getting any better. And uh I told I walked in Hannah Claire's office and just broke down and said, You're not gonna believe this, but I think I need to go back to the hospital. And uh she's like, why? And you know, this is kind of where it starts to get a little uncomfortable for me because people don't under can't understand the mental anguish and the guilt that you're feeling in those moments when your brain is completely dregulated. And I was just so distraught that you know not not being able to be there for her like I need to be, not showing up mentally as a husband. Um, and by this time we have a one-year-old son. So I know that me going back is me abandoning my family. And um, so I was having all these thoughts, and some of the thoughts I was having was in the very a really dangerous one was uh, you know, your family would be better off if you wasn't here.

SPEAKER_01 29:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:28

And that um that thought would replay over and over and over in my mind. So when I was at the hospital the second time, uh they misdiagnosed me as uh depressive bipolar. Um and they put me on the uh a wrong type of medicine for my condition, uh, and it was antipsychotic. And so things got worse before they got better, I guess, is what I'm saying. Um so they put me on an antipsychotic and sent me home thinking that I was bipolar depressive. Uh and that the medicine had the opposite effect on me. Um, I was already struggling, and it made me even more depressed. It it made me feel like I was in a box trapped, like it made me feel like a different person. And at this point, I was so uncomfortable physically from the lack of eating, the lack of sleep, and I was so drained spiritually and mentally, and I have just stayed my second hospital stay, and I'm not gotten any better in two years. And that's when uh you know, that's when I said this enough's enough. Uh I said I I can't live like this anymore. Um and then those thoughts of you know, they would be better off without you because they're having to take care of you. Yeah, you're the one supposed to be leading them, and Anna Claire's the one leading you. And I just decided then and there that I didn't want to live anymore. And so um I had a gun on my shelf, and I went and grabbed it, and I sat down on my bed, and when I closed my eyes, I saw my son's face, and it was like it was almost like I could see it. It was it was like the imprint you get from watching TV too long or something. Like when I closed my eyes, it was that real. And I just broke down and started crying. And in that moment, I knew God had showed up for one, and I knew that from this point on I will live every day in a mental and physical hell if I have to, to be there for my son. And I just realized if I will do this for my son, what would Christ do for me? Amen. And if he's willing to, I mean, yeah, I was at a desperate time, but you know, I've never had to endure the cross. That's right. A perfect human and here I am suffering, and you know, it just puts things into perspective, I feel like. Um but I want to tell whoever's listening that don't give up. If you're in that place right now and and your thoughts are telling you that nobody would miss you or or you're not valuable, then um, you know, listen to listen to the quieter voices. Because the quieter voices a lot of times will tell you what you need to hear. Yeah. You know, and the still small voices. Um, and so I wish I could say that I got better, but I struggled for a long time until one year ago, uh, a little over a year ago, I was having a lot of anxiety again. And at this time I was talking to a therapist, and I walked in and uh we were talking, and I was telling her all the symptoms I'm having from because at the time I was working from home behind a computer, and like I never got out of the house. Like, that's all I was doing. And I told her I was like, I'm really struggling with this meaningless task. Um because up until COVID, I had always had a job where I was out and about talking to people, engaging with people. And um she said, it sounds like you have ADHD. And my first thought was, and I actually said this, I said, I'm not a seven-year-old that can't sit still. And she said, you don't have to be. And I said, What do you mean? And that started my journey diving into what ADHD was. Um, and so she's like, we have a test, we'll test you if you pass, then we'll talk about medications and stuff like that. Well, I took the test, and sure enough, I had ADHD, pretty severe actually on the scale. Um, and once I became medicated for uh my diagnosis, I do not struggle with anxiety like I used to. I don't struggle with um depression like I used to. And if you looked at me now versus me just a year and a half ago, I'm a completely different person.

SPEAKER_01 36:18

So once once they they diagnosed you with the ADHD, did you medications change as far as the anxiety medicines and the things that you were taking beforehand?

SPEAKER_00 36:29

Like a no, so they stayed with those um because like I said before, once they're in your system, they're really hard to come off of. Um, and then also people with ADHD are naturally low in dopamine and serotonin.

SPEAKER_01 36:44

It just it's complemented.

SPEAKER_00 36:47

It kind of complements each other. Okay. Yeah. Um, so what the medication does for the ADHD, uh, it's basically a stimulant in it, it stimulates your prefrontal cortex, which stimulates it to absorb more dopamine, which makes your brain work more like a neurotypical person's. Um so, like before medication, it was like there were probably five or six voices all screaming in my head at the same time. You know, not literal voices, but different thoughts coming in and going out. And while medicated, uh, I still have those thoughts, but they're a lot quieter. And I can concentrate on the thoughts I want to have and not be um, you know, brought off track by a random thought. Yeah. So it's uh it's it's been a blessing for sure. And you know, if somebody's listening and they're saying, well, you know, what is he giving all the credit to medication? No, I'm not, because I believe that we live in a universe where God knew exactly what Corey Wright would need in 2026. You know, and um it just shows you the depth of mental health issues and and how deep they actually go. Yeah. And how much we need to make aware of not just ADHD, but autism and a lot of these other mental health issues that that people have.

SPEAKER_01 38:39

You mentioned um during during this time you were you know you were you were uh you had a relationship with the Lord, you were pursuing a relationship with with the Lord, you know, struggling with that somewhat because of your condition. Uh but you mentioned, you know, after after um being, I guess, diagnosed correctly that your your faith is now stronger, uh and you have a deeper love for Christ. Um again, some of the things that I've I've read upon uh talks about, you know, uh in order to co overcome feelings of disconnectedness and other unworthiness and your uh frustrations over not living up to expectations, it might be necessary to find alternate ways to connect with God. Uh some of the things that were suggested uh were um listening to the Bible rather than sitting down and reading it. Absolutely. Um instead of just saying, hey, I'm gonna sit down and read the Bible for 30 minutes to follow a specific plan of reading the Bible. And one thing I found, and I don't remember the name of it, but it's there's a Bible that's basically written for ADHD. Oh, really? Yeah, um that's cool. Oh, I'd have to look it up. I can't, I should have I should have written it down. But yeah, it's a Bible that's written that has like larger spacing between the words. Yeah, like the the beginning of the words or like highlight uh in bold to uh it's it's basically like to grab your attention to keep you moving down. But it's written in uh for the purpose of keeping people with ADHD's attention, yeah. Attention uh or and then also admission talking about you know one of the things I read talking about like just finding a worship style that engages your senses, yeah, even you know, something that's not just where you're um sitting and listening, I I guess, but something that engages, engages you. So what like what have you found in your in in your walk with the Lord and your walk through this, through these, you know, this issue, like what has helped you to practically to so knowing scripture has helped me more than anything.

SPEAKER_00 41:14

Um, you know, we talked about me taking biblical study classes, and uh one of the things that we learned in hermeneutics was to uh exegesical versus isegesical. And what that taught me was to not put my own spin on the Bible, but let the Bible be what it is. Uh, you know, don't come into the Bible with many preconceived notions. But so I've always had an open mind and an open heart. Um, but in the very difficult struggles, you know, I would just repeat over and over in my head scriptures, yeah, because that's all that would get me through it. Um and you know, Micah 7 and 8 comes to mind. Rejoice not against me, oh my enemies, for when I fall I shall arise. When I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light unto me. And that scripture played over and over in my head because I knew that I wasn't just fighting a mental struggle, I was fighting a spiritual struggle. Anything, any presence or thought or dominion that can convince you that you don't need to be alive is is not of the is not of God. Yeah, that's right. And um the scary part is is when you're in those states, you can't see them for what they are. You almost believe the lies. Um, but he never he never left and he always showed up right on time, and he always has.

SPEAKER_01 43:01

Yeah, I I I thought that was a powerful vo uh verse. Um you know, and I I looked into it just the idea at that time Israel was uh, you know, God's judgment was coming, they were broken, and they uh things felt hopeless for them. And that that whole idea of do not rejoice over me, my enemy, you know, basically saying, This is not the end of my story.

SPEAKER_00 43:30

Yeah. He's blessed me so abundantly that I'm so grateful that I'm not in those places anymore. Yeah. That I just sit sometimes and think where he has brought me from, from the very depths of despair to actually having hope. And that's something that I haven't had for a long time.

SPEAKER_01 43:54

Amen.

SPEAKER_00 43:55

Um but one thing that I would like to to comment on. Um and kind of you know pull our attention to is a lot of people um don't give credit to those uh that have partners with ADHD. Um because like Anna Claire, she's been put through a lot by me. And you know, a lot of it has to do with my mental illness. Uh a lot of it has to do with my impulsivity control and things like that before I was uh before I was diagnosed. But you know, she had to step up when I when I couldn't step up. Yeah. And she had to be what I couldn't be at that time. And um, you know, the divorce rate is 50%, uh, people with ADHD is 75%. So, you know, it goes to show that there's a higher rate of people with mental health issues that have there are serious relationship issues that come with mental health. Sure. And to have somebody that supports you and strengthens you along that journey instead of taking away from you, even though she didn't understand. And she'll tell you to this day, like she has struggled with um, you know, depression because of of her sister, but she she's never struggled with neurological depression, where everything's going good in your life and you just feel depressed. And that is a that's a terrible place to be because you can't put or you can't identify a cause of your issue. Yeah. And so when I was going through those seasons of depression, and especially before unmedicated, all I had was the Bible. I mean, I would listen to it on tape in my college dorm room sometimes, just on repeat over and over and over, because that's the only thing that would get me through that night of anxiety. And so having scripture and having it present um in your mind and written on your heart is is a very beneficial thing, I feel like.

SPEAKER_01 46:37

Yeah, some of some of the others you uh you'd mentioned Jeremiah 29, 11. Oh, yeah. Uh uh, I know the plans I have for you uh for hope in the future. Um Psalms 46:1, God is a refuge and a strength, an ever-present help and trouble. Philippians 4, 6 through 7 was one I thought was good too. It's talking about do not be anxious, present your request to God. His peace, which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and your mind. You know, just that idea that like, you know, we don't know, we don't know the storehouses of solutions that God has for our problems. You know, when we think that, you know, we're at our our wit's end trying to figure it out. Yeah. God's never at his wit's end. Right. You know.

SPEAKER_00 47:30

And you know, like um, it's not that I don't struggle with anxiety anymore, but God has shown up so much in my life. He has brought me out of addiction, out of depression, anxiety, that when those anxious thoughts come, I just think back to where he brought me from. And I'm like, if he can get me out of that situation, he can get me out of any situation. Absolutely. So, I mean, his faithfulness is is never ending.

SPEAKER_01 48:05

And you mentioned this, uh, I think this is kind of where you were going. You you'd mentioned in uh some of the things you you said previously that you uh you now can see something that you once called a curse as a blessing. And I think some of that is what you just said has to do with that, right? That the oh absolutely um yeah, you know, you have this view now of God that He really can do anything. Absolutely. Uh, you also share John 16, 33, which I think is a good verse, you know, as we think about just encouraging others. Um I guess I didn't write that down here, but basically the points that I have written written about that verse is that ones that struggles uh aren't always due to failures, uh, and that it's just a part of living in a broken world. That's right. Yeah. You know, that this is not, you know, necessarily it's all all of our some some of our troubles are caused by our us, you know, our our our bad our bad decisions. Absolutely. But some some sometimes we just deal with troubles because we we're we're fallen and broken. That's right. And our world is fallen and and and and broken. Uh I have also jotted down here, peace is not found in in in improving our circumstances or our emotions sometimes.

SPEAKER_00 49:30

That's right. Um because you know there was one there was one time where I encountered God. I was sitting there and I was just praying, and I was so just caught up in my own pain at the time. I was just so caught up in the fact that I like my this was go going on during uh during my detox. And like my skin didn't feel like it fit, it felt like it was crawling off, and I started praying. And while I started praying, I immediately started just shaking uncontrollably, emotions. Um I started, you know, speaking in tongues at the time, and that's not something I've done very often in my life. Um, but there was a a comfort and a peace in that moment that he gave me, you know, he didn't fix my situation at that time, but he definitely gave me peace. And he actually gave me physical relief from that because I don't know if it was all the shaking, but when I got through praying and weeping and crying and speaking in tongues, it was just like my body had relaxed for the first time in in days. So, you know, I used to live for those type of encounters. Um, you know, I thought that was the pinnacle of religion is to have an experience with God, an encounter with God, and they're great, they're awesome, they're life-changing, but the hopelessness and everything that I felt and knowing that he was still there during those moments, that's what really excites me. Yeah, because I didn't feel him, I didn't think he was anywhere to be found. But looking back, I mean he was keeping me the whole time. He was always there, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:58

So 2 Corinthians added this too to the by 2 Corinthians 12, 9, his grace is sufficient and his power is made perfect in our weak weakness. That's right.

SPEAKER_00 52:09

Yeah, I always identified with Paul because he had the thorn in the flesh. Yeah. And though I didn't have a thorn in the flesh, like I always felt like, you know, there wasn't something right in my mind. And um even if I'd never been medicated properly, um, and I was still struggling, I know that God's way would be sufficient enough to guide me through through anything. Right.

SPEAKER_01 52:52

And it is important that you tell your story. And that's you know again, I want to thank you for being here and willing your willingness because one, I think it's part of your protection, you know, sure. And it's also uh I know that it's gonna be good for other people to make that connection and uh and uh and start their beginning, uh start their healing right process.

SPEAKER_00 53:21

And so um, like with with ADHD, a lot of it's genetic. So we've already started identifying uh that well son has shown very typical ADHD symptoms where he is hyper and you know they're saying he don't want to sit still in class, he he wants to talk, and and all these things. And uh I'm just so grateful that I'm in a place where my son can come to me and say, hey dad, I'm struggling in school. Um and I have a pretty good idea what I need to do to help him. You know, um mental health hasn't all like we talked about, the stigma, so there hadn't always been resources. Um and me in my life, if I would have had the resources earlier, um, I think, you know, probably my addiction probably never would have happened. Um, you know, I probably would have never dropped out of engineering class or engineering um because of performance anxiety and things like that. So my life would have took a very different turn and I would have been equipped a lot more um a lot more to handle the situations. Um and even if I would have been medicated properly at an early age, I don't know that I would have needed like the uh anti-anxiety and the antidepression, uh, because that's just a byproduct of having low dopamine and low serotonin. Um, so you know, the earlier, I guess my what I'm saying is the earlier you can catch these things in your children, or you know, even if it's an older person and they've struggled with something similar to what you've heard today, um, have a conversation with them about it because it could it could change their life. Knowing knowledge is power. Yeah. And when you know how to um when you know how to work an operating system and you can use practical measures in order to make that operating system more efficient, then it helps your it helps your life just run smoother and be more stable. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:58

Well, man, I uh have thoroughly enjoyed our our time together. Yeah, I have too. And um what I'd like for you to do, if you don't mind, just give one last encouragement. Sure. To those that may be listening to us, and then would you mind closing us in a word of prayer? No, absolutely. All right, go ahead and and and encourage us and then close us in prayer. Sure.

SPEAKER_00 56:19

Um, yeah, I so anybody out there listening, you know, I would like to thank you for listening to my story. But most of all, know that you're not struggling alone, that you don't have to isolate, that there are other people out there struggling, and that um if you need help, there are resources out there. Um that's something I didn't always know, but uh there are resources, and I think we live in an age where resources are plentiful. Uh it wasn't always that way, but um, you know, however you feel about technology and all that stuff, um, I think it has bad potential, but it also has beautiful potential and and letting us be more aware of our situations and our world around us. Yeah. So um, yeah, I'll close us in a word of prayer. Let's pray. Jesus, thank you for this opportunity. Thank you for meeting with us today. I just ask, Lord, that if anybody is listening and that they're hurting right now, or they're scared, or that they think that maybe something I said today relates to them, ask Lord that you would quicken in their spirit. If you would open their heart and mind to accept what you've given them today, and help them to find peace through you and understanding through you. Lord, for all the people that do not struggle with mental health, ask, Lord, that you would open their understanding to know that not everyone is created equal, but we are all created for you and for your glory. We might not be created the same, but you love us exactly the same. So help those people that don't understand the struggle, that don't have to deal with these mental issues. Help them to be kind to those that do, to be patient and to be giving and loving to those, to those that are struggling with mental health, dear God. I pray, dear Lord, that we not use that as an excuse to fall short, but we would educate ourselves and that we would empower ourselves with your Holy Spirit to overcome those things that are harder for us than other people, to overcome those things that we may not need to be involved in, like addiction and some of those other things, dear God. Ask Lord that you would continue to be with us, guide us, and be with everyone that listened today. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.

SPEAKER_01 59:01

Amen. Thank you for listening to the Life Church Podcast. We pray today's conversation encouraged you, challenged you, and brought you closer to Jesus. If you enjoyed the podcast, consider sharing it with someone so that they might be encouraged as well. To learn more about Life Church Windsboro, get connected or find spiritual guidance. You can find us online at the c.us or follow us on Facebook. But the best option is for you to join us in person each Sunday, 10 30 a.m. at 23 30 Highway 15, Windsboro, Louisiana. Jesus said, The one who remains in me and I in him bears much fruit. So until next time, continue walking with Jesus, allowing yourself to be fed from his word.