N.E.T. Collective - Where we Navigate Everything Together from Classroom to College to Careers and Beyond
N.E.T. Collective—Navigating Everything Together is a podcast for teens, college students, new graduates, young adults AND the people guiding and supporting them on their adulting journey.
From classrooms to college to careers and beyond, three experienced professionals - a school psychologist in private practice, an educational expert, and a career coach, all mothers in our target audience - break down life's transitions, challenges, twists and turns with clarity, warmth, and generous touch of humor. The topics we cover range from Executive Functions, ADHD, Learning Disabilities, Test Prep, Essay Writing to Networking, Career Challenges and so much more.
We talk candidly, lovingly, and realistically about topics that may have our listeners scrounging around the web at 2AM for reliable information. More importantly, we offer real conversations, practical strategies, and thoughtful perspectives to help you get informed, empowered, and supported—because the journey of life is easier when we navigate it together!
N.E.T. Collective - Where we Navigate Everything Together from Classroom to College to Careers and Beyond
The Planning - Execution Gap: Why We Know What To Do... But Still Can't Start
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We’ve all been there.
You make a plan.
You know exactly what you should do.
You even want to do it.
And yet… somehow you still can’t start.
Why does that happen?
In this episode of NET Collective: Navigating Everything Together, we explore the often-frustrating gap between planning and execution—that moment where good intentions stall and action feels surprisingly difficult.
We break down what’s happening in the brain when we struggle to activate. Why does planning feel relatively easy, while starting the task itself can feel overwhelming?
The answer lies in the way our brains are wired. Planning and execution rely on different executive functioning skill sets, and our brains are scanning for safety and avoiding perceived threat—even when the “threat” is simply starting a challenging task.
In this episode, we unpack:
• Why knowing what to do doesn’t always translate into action
• The brain’s natural pull toward safety and avoidance
• Why task initiation is one of the hardest executive functioning skills
• What this means for students, professionals, and anyone who feels stuck between intention and action and what are some simple strategies that will help you bridge that gap
If you’ve ever wondered why motivation alone isn’t enough — or why bright, capable people can still struggle to start — this conversation will help you understand the science behind the planning - execution gap.
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People will get stuck not knowing maybe what to do first, or they get stuck in their head thinking about it and they're not taking action.
SPEAKER_01Just write out how long is each of these things going to take me. Cut out the decision-making middleman.
SPEAKER_00This particular episode is really about closing the gap between the plan or the intention and the starting point or the execution.
SPEAKER_01Welcome to Net Collective, where we navigate everything together from classroom to college to careers and beyond.
SPEAKER_02I'm Kay McBrudy, career coach and founder of Waterville Partners.
SPEAKER_01I'm Vanita Patel, school psychologist in private practice. I'm Ruth Hayes, education professional and founder of Fulcio Prep. Net Collective. Navigating everything together, one conversation at a time. So we've talked a lot about this episode as we were planning, but how do we get started? Very funny.
SPEAKER_00That is what I call art imitates life, right? Okay, I think I got that right. Anyway, so great opener, Ruth. Have you guys ever wondered why can't I just do the things I know that I need to do? Maybe you've set a goal, maybe you've thought it through in your mind, maybe you've even taken the next step and written it down in your planner or assignment notebook or whatever it is. And you say, okay, I'm going to promise and get it done tomorrow, or start it tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and your heart's in the right place, but it still doesn't get done. Do you guys know anyone that often can, you know, get in that loop?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Well, and even I started referring clients to you because I would give them a plan and they would have these really good intentions, but they weren't executing on them. They weren't getting started. And so how do you get started?
SPEAKER_00You know, and that that is the root of the problem. We talk a lot about our executive functioning skills. And a lot of these skills are doing-based, right? Do the planner, you know, do the thing, you know, manage your time. It's it's a lot of doing. But before you do the doing, you have to actually think about the execution of it. And that's where the gap really lies, you know? So people spend too much time in their heads, maybe? Exactly. They they spend too much time thinking about it. And I don't want to say too much time. Right.
SPEAKER_02It's the amount of time that they're going to be able to do that. But they don't make that shift maybe from their mind to the activation.
SPEAKER_00Right. The cognitive is very different than the actual activation of it. And let's break it down a little bit. Okay. Um, so yeah, I think that sounds familiar to a lot of people. And it's not because they're lazy. You know, again, you can have the best of intentions, um, and you can really care about something very well. But turning that intention or the plans into action, that's a whole other set of skills that our brain has to rely upon. Okay. So, in other words, executing the plan or even taking that initial first step to start can really be challenging. Okay. So today's episode is about planning our intentions or planning the tasks versus the execution or the activation of the plan. Okay. Or activating the actual plan. Okay. And so we're going to ask ourselves, what's really getting in the way? And again, I'm going to nerd out a little bit and talk about the brain-based behavior first. Okay. So let me paint this picture. All right, it's Sunday evening. You're sitting down before the week starts, you have good intentions, you look at the week ahead, you map out what needs to happen, you prioritize your tasks, whether it's, you know, I've got to write two essays, I have to study for three exams, I have to do these chores around the house, whatever. And you have a sense of relief, even because you know what to do and you've mapped it out. Okay. And then Monday arrives and immediately things start to feel different, right? Has that ever happened to you guys?
SPEAKER_01Oh, 100%.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. You feel tired, other duties pop up, and you're not sure what la where last night's motivation where it went, right? Suddenly, you know, you're you're just kind of like a deer in headlights almost, where you don't know how to happen. And you tell yourself, okay, well, I'll just start later. I've got time. I've got time until later becomes later, and later becomes tomorrow, and tomorrow becomes the next day, and then you're in a panic because the deadline is doomed, you know, it's just looming right in front of your face. Right?
unknownYeah, yes.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that happens. Okay. And here's a key point: it doesn't happen because you didn't care. It happens because planning and execution rely on different skills in the brain.
SPEAKER_02So, what are those skills?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's a great question. So, if you think about it, when we're planning, that's a cognitive task. That's a task where you're thinking about things, okay? And planning actually happens in mostly ideal conditions. But execution, the actual doing of the thing, doing of the task, happens in real life. It happens, you know, when it's supposed to happen. So in actual real life. And the distinction really does matter because we often misinterpret what's really going on. Okay. So parents may assume that a teen that's, you know, not following through or is being, you know, they're being irresponsible or unmotivated. And it's, you know, it's very, it's very unclear as to why, you know, why aren't you doing this, even though you know you're supposed to do it? What happened? And the teen may be thinking, what's wrong with me? If I know what I need to do and I care about studying for the test, but I'm not, you know, able to follow through on the things that I know I need to do. And, you know, adults, Kay, you work with a lot of adults, right? Do you see that even with adults? Adults that are bright and high functioning.
SPEAKER_02They are. I mean, and people will get stuck not knowing maybe what to do first, or they get stuck in their head thinking about it and they're not taking action. And so, and that's actually why I started referring clients to you was because I would help them create a really great plan and have everything going behind it, and then they wouldn't execute.
SPEAKER_01So it can almost work across purposes. Sometimes the plan is so perfect and pristine that if you do anything, it's like a betrayal.
SPEAKER_00Right. You know, that's the other piece. You're absolutely right about that, Ruth. It's like if I miss a beat even a little bit, or if I start at, you know, 505 and you know, I was gonna start at five, oh, I've I'm already thrown off. You know, so we have to let some of that, some of those perfections or perceived perfections just go, right? So um again, planning is mostly a thinking activity, and it happens when you're mostly calm, reflective, and not generally under pressure. You're using the part of your brain that imagines the future or organizes the information and maps out the steps. Okay. So does that part make sense, right? Yeah, we know that part. The execution, however, happens in real time, in the middle of distractions, in the middle of fatigue, in the middle of uh overwhelm, and also in the middle of that this task feels so big, the perceived bigness of it, you know. So there's really a disconnect between the two. There's a disconnect between what I think a task should look like and and feel like and be like, to how it's actually going to be when I'm activating it. And that disconnect between the two is because our brains are are tapping into two different skill sets. They're not the same. Right. Okay. Um so to follow through, your brain has to activate the energy, it has to activate and manage its attention, it has to resist easier alternative competing interests like the phone or scrolling, et cetera, right? And you also have to be emotionally uh, what's the word, regulated to do the thing. We've talked a lot about things that we've put off, right? I know I've put off, like I mentioned it before, my website. Okay, I know we've talked about the book thing. You know, it's like we and we and when you really dig deep and think about why are we putting those things off? It's typically a regulation thing. It's typically an emotional thing. It's typically a, I'm motivated. I I I know you want to be successful in everything that you do. Right. We all do, right? But what stops this is really the emotional regulation piece, the attention piece that, you know, is really separate and not cognitive. It's more of an emotional thing related to those tasks.
SPEAKER_01And how do you bridge that gap?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Um, well, before that, there's all there's another piece to this that I want to focus on regarding our, you know, what how our brains um factor into this and how our brains are wired. Our brains are motivated to move away from perceived threats. So our brains are wired to move away from perceived anything that would feel displeasurable or obviously. Danger, right? The fight or flight. Exactly.
SPEAKER_02Fight, flight or freeze. Exactly.
SPEAKER_00And then there's fawn, which is a whole other thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So our brains want to move towards safety, security, pleasure. And so even when we want to do something, and even cognitive, if we know we have to do something, our brains, if we, if we sense a piece of a threat or or some amount of threat about that task, we're immediately going to start looking for things to move away from that and move towards something that's gonna make us feel secure and safe. Okay. And with so many competing interests at our literally at our fingertips, like the phone, like, you know, scrolling, like, you know, streaming an episode, or um, just pretty much anything else that's within our environment that could move us away from that discomfort, we're more likely going to do that. So that's a really important thing. So I think just being aware of that, knowing that this is just how our brains are wired. Okay.
SPEAKER_02Can we trick our brains? Can we somehow help our brains see it as a safe thing?
SPEAKER_00I think one one way is really to reframe. Okay. It's really to reframe. So so if starting something feels risky and confusing and boring or emotionally uncomfortable, your brain may push you towards something that feels easier or safer in that moment. But the irony of that is the more we move away from what we know we need to do and towards that safety and comfort, what happens is that task that we need to do creates more of a stress, right? And so just knowing that, so I wouldn't say that that's not necessarily some type of trickery. Right. It's it's more just knowing that, you know, you have to weigh your options here. Right. You have to weigh your options. I can continue to just scroll on my phone or look at what's what people are going through on social media, but what I need to do is just going to get further and further away from my intention.
SPEAKER_02Well, and I always tell clients, eat the elephant one bite at a time. Like try and break it down into some kind of small piece. And maybe that is part of the starting piece.
SPEAKER_00That that certainly is. And so, so you know, yeah. And and so if you're listening and you're ex, you know, you're thinking, okay, this is totally me. I know what I need to do, but I can't do it. I still need to do the thing. So what do I do? Okay. So number one, you want to start super small. Start super small. Make that initial step almost ridiculously small. I mean, there's why that's why there are books out there, you know, that talk about, you know, tiny habits or atomic habits. These are phenomenal books. And though they're very different in in terms of just um specificities, uh, the overall arching, you know, um theory is the smaller you can start something, the more likely you're able to follow through with it. Okay. So instead of, you know, I have to write this introductory paragraph, just open up your laptop and write the first sentence.
SPEAKER_01Or just open up your laptop. Yeah, you know, infinitely more than nothing.
SPEAKER_00That's right. Start, start, start small. Instead of, you know, I've got to clean my room, start with walking into your room and just picking up the dirty clothes that's on the floor and putting them in the basket. Just just start small. Action creates motivation more reliably than motivation creates action. So think about that for a second.
SPEAKER_02It's funny. I was always trying to figure out and discern motivation with my clients. You know, they're they're trying to pivot their careers or launch their careers. And I've been trying to figure out how do you measure this? And if you give them a clear direction, well, that will the direction, then they'll be, you know, they'll follow with action. And now I'm finding that it's, you know, it's the action that will drive the motivation, to your point. And so I've I I've had this shift with my clients even, and that aha.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm. And especially for our individuals with executive functioning issues, you know, that making that initial action, there's a sense of success. And there and with that, we'll breed the momentum, and then you go on to the next step. So to me, when I think of it that way, that the action creates motivation versus the other way around. Right. What does that tell you? Start. Just start start with something. Start minuscule steps and go from there.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And to build on what you said, Kay, I think the chunking can also help with that. Something I see especially students do. Um, if there's a big project or something they have to do, they'll sit down, I have this hour to work on it, and they'll waste 15 minutes. I don't want to say waste, use 15 minutes of it trying to decide what to do. So I'll say, in addition to chunking it down, just write out how long is each of these things going to take me. So if you have a half an hour to work with, okay, I know what I'm going to do. And you kind of cut out the decision-making middleman. That's right, right. Great point.
SPEAKER_00That's a really good point. Yeah. I and and you know, um, I I like I love using the term roadmap, you know. And this is a good segue into the second strategy that that does work is, you know, when you think about a roadmap, there's a start and an end, and there's multiple steps in between, right? I don't want people to just I don't want people to think about the finish, the finish line, because that may be too overwhelming. That may be why they're not able to start. Focus on the starting and don't focus on the finishing yet. Okay. We are giving you permission. Ruth, Kay, Vanita, and I, you know, all the three of us, we are giving you permission to not think about finishing. Just reframe that mindset.
SPEAKER_02It's a journey. Exactly. It's kind of like if you're if you are in the car and you're just locked on to that destination, you're gonna miss all the interesting sites and things along the way. And maybe your task isn't super interesting, but you're gonna learn it each and every step. So I think that being able to just be present and be in the moment and tackle one piece of it is so valuable.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And and this particular episode is really about closing the gap between the plan or the intention and the starting point or the execution. It's really not for the purpose of this episode, it's really not about finishing yet. Because there is no end of the journey or finishing if you don't start. So we want you to start small, make it very small, and focus only on the starting point. Okay. Um, because when the task feels endless, and oftentimes for our individuals that struggle with EF, the tasks do feel too big. They feel monstrous. So the brain is going to resist, it's going to fight you on that. Okay. So give yourself permission to do just one short burst of whatever the thing is and name it. And, you know, that will lower your threat level. That'll lower the brain's threat level. Okay. And that may be something like, you know, you may um say to yourself, I'll work only for 10 minutes and then reassess. And if you reassess and think, okay, I think I want to keep going, great. And if you reassess and say, I'm done, I can't, hey, that's 10 minutes more than you did before you started. Okay? Yep. So but I think you will find that most of the time, once you're engaged, you'll continue. And even if you don't, even if you don't, you still moved forward and then you start again. Okay? Got it. All right. And the third thing is make the task visible and concrete. One thing we do know, we are really good with our defense mechanisms. So if it's out of sight, it's out of mind. Okay. So especially when we're under threat. So our brains are not great at holding plans internally while juggling everything else. So the more you can make the tasks that you need to do visible, they're they're they're on your mind. They're there. It's they're inescapable. Okay. And the more energy you're gonna start attracting towards it. Or hopefully. Hopefully, okay. That is why things like planners, sticky notes, visual reminders, or even alarm reminders can be really helpful. Not because they magically create discipline, but because they were they'll reduce the cognitive load and move you closer to that start point. Perfect.
SPEAKER_02I do that even with um returns or things that I have to do.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_02I used to squirrel them away.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And now I have a spot that's very visible so that I don't like to look at clutter. So I'm motivated to take action. That's great.
SPEAKER_00Because I see it. That's great. That's funny you say that because I do that too in my in our mud room. All my returns, my Amazon returns or whatever, it's gotta be right there because if if if they're there, I can't get to my coat. Right. Or my shoes. Exactly. It's like, right, I'm gonna make it a little uncomfortable for myself so I can get to it. Yeah, interrupt the autopilot. Exactly. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Okay. So we've got the start. So where are the three so far?
SPEAKER_00Lower your entry or uh entry the barriers. Barriers to entry. So start which which is another fancy term for start ridiculously small. So start small. Okay. Um the second one is focus on the reframe your thinking. Yep. Focus on the starting, not the finishing. Yep. This isn't an episode about the whole task. It is about the starting because you know, we want you to just be able to take that first step. Yep. And the goal will be to keep that momentum going. The third one is to make the task visible and concrete. Okay. Because our brains aren't great again at holding things internally, and we want to be able to, you know, make things accessible. Got it. If they're if they're there, if they're on the brain, you're more likely to be attracted and get to it. Okay. The fourth one is change the environment so that the task is easier than the alternative. Okay. And what I mean by that is guess what? If distractions are easy to access, then guess what's going to win? Distractions. The distractions are always going to win. Most likely, the distractions are going to win. And what I mean by that is, you know, if you're already struggling to get started on something and you have your phone near you, and you have, you know, your snacks near you, and you have whatever else, your your laptop with all your games, those are probably going to be louder. And remember, our brains like pleasure, we like safety, we like security, we like fun, you know, rather than what we see as something that's going to make us uncomfortable. So change the environment so that, you know, making those simple changes such that you put your phone in another room, it'll still be there when you when you've completed your 10 or 15 minutes. Um, clearing your workspace, opening the materials in advance, choosing a quiet location can really dramatically increase the chances of you starting. Have you guys ever had success with that?
SPEAKER_01Or 100%. I think clearing the space is a really, really important one because you can kind of get into a sort of positive procrastination where you sit down to do one task and you realize, well, I can't work on this paper. I need to, you know, straighten up all these books or I need to dust in here. I haven't vacuumed in ages. And those things do need to get done in a certain sense, but they're certainly not a higher priority. So if you already have that done, if you already have a plan for when you're gonna do your chores or, you know, you sit down and do it every week, you don't have to worry about it in the moment.
SPEAKER_00Right. Isn't that funny how how our brains work that way? Like I would, I think you made me laugh the other day when you said, oh, I'd rather empty the dishwasher. You know, go through like, you know, other work that you have to do. I've gotta have you over my dishwasher because that is, you know, that that that takes you must really not like what you were needing to do in order to empty the dishwasher. But yeah, it it that that is exactly how our brains work. You know, it's like the lesser of two evils, you know. Exactly, yeah. Okay. Um and then the last thing I want to say is that adding structure. In the form of another human will add accountability. So we've talked about body doubling. Do you want to explain what that is? It'll come up in multiple of future episodes, but yeah, it's basically bringing a buddy.
SPEAKER_01So sometimes it's really difficult for us to get motivated just within ourselves to do something because there's kind of no one looking. So if you have a friend come over and just hang out with you while you clean your floors or work on a paper, or you know, this is why study groups can be so effective, or you know, your dissertation group Venita, um, because you can just be an accountability partner for someone else. And a lot of times it's just so much easier to get started when there's someone else getting started with you. That's right.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So built in, built in the accountability, you know, or if you can't find someone, you know, because we're all busy, we all have things to do. I would say, okay, Kay, I'm making you responsible for me. Make sure you ask me, you know, tomorrow if I did X, Y, and Z. Guess what? I'm not gonna want to let Kay down. You know, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna wanna, you know, answer her question, like, no, I didn't do it. Or, you know what, I got through half of it. Hey, that's better than nothing, you know. But make sure the person that you're going to for accountability, you feel safe with, secure with, who's not gonna judge you.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00You know.
SPEAKER_02I've done that for friends before where they'll say, Oh, make sure I do blah, blah, blah. And so I will send them a text. And because I have an Apple phone, you can schedule it to be sent later. Right. So I'll send it to like, you know, eight eight a.m. tomorrow morning, it'll be the first thing that they they get to. And that's why also with my clients, one of the action items when we create their action plan, they have to identify a career buddy.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I like that.
SPEAKER_02Somebody that they can, and it doesn't have to be somebody that's looking for the same job that they are, but somebody that they, again, feel safe with that they could um, you know, check in with once a week. How are you doing on your search? And how are you doing on your search? And oh, I found some companies that might be a fit for you, and oh, they found companies that might be a fit for me. But just somebody that you can chat with on a consistent basis that is in a similar situation. So that's back to your body doubling or study groups and finding people that are trying to do the same thing you are.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and and and that that that is so helpful on a few different levels that that shared interest, I think, in your building community, which we're at not collective, that's what we're all about. Right. And you had brought up my dissertation group. So decades ago when I was doing my dissertation, you know, I started, I started a dissertation group. And even though I really struggled to get through certain things with my dissertation, I didn't want to go back to the group not having done my parts that I said I was gonna do. You know, I didn't want to have to say that. So that accountability piece is what motivated me. Now, someone can say, well, Vanita, shouldn't the motivation come from inside? Yeah, that's the ultimate goal, but if you're not there yet, you're not there yet. What's the reality? What's the reality? Deal with what you have. That is absolutely true. We're humans, and there are things that are gonna get in the way of these big things that we have to do. Remember, our brains are responsible for that, you know? Um, you know, we we tend to shy away from what we perceive as threats. So figure out how you're going to make that threat minimized.
SPEAKER_02Yep.
SPEAKER_00Okay? So so find an account accountability buddy or group or whatever it is. Okay. Um do you ladies have any questions about anything or want to share an anecdote or anything like that?
SPEAKER_01I was just gonna throw in that sometimes that internal motivation can work better if you externalize it. So writing things down, crossing things out, giving yourself little rewards, which can be an activity you want to do, or even just, you know, you don't have to wait for anyone to administer stickers to you. You can give yourself stickers for anything that you're accomplishing. And that's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_00That's a great point. That is a great point. And even if you're doing something for a short amount of time, or for you know, the whole point of this is start small. Even if you're doing something for that first 10 minutes or that first step, that deserves a little pat on the back. Yes. And you can you can, you know, do that, give that to yourself. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Okay. I I had um someone that was studying for finals, and um they called me and said, Oh, I, you know, two of them were studying together. So they were they were body doubling, so they were helping each other study. Um this was a client of mine, and um they I ended up every time they finished a chapter, they would text me and then I would send them a fun emoji or a gif. You know what I mean? And that was their stickers. But I mean, these are people in their you know, late 20s, you know, but something to just feel proud of. Right.
SPEAKER_00Well, it releases that good, feel good chemical in your brain. Yeah, you know, oftentimes with my clients, you know, um they'll they'll ask for that. Well, I'm not gonna see you for a week, but can you just check in with me? Because I don't trust myself to not have, you know, that that that accountable person, you know, for the whole week. And that that's absolutely look, you should resources around you as long as it works. Yeah. So when people struggle with the execution piece, the answer isn't try harder, you know, the the answer isn't care more. It's change the conditions around it. Okay. Change the conditions around it. And instead of asking, why aren't I doing this? Why can't I do this? Reframe the question to what would make it easier to start right now or to start when I would like to start so that I am not freaking out and getting anxious when it's it's uh too late or too close to that deadline. Okay. And again, the goal isn't to become perfectly disciplined or endlessly motivated. That's not humanly possible. It's to understand how your brain works and to create supports that make action more possible in real life. And by real life, that does mean being human, with you know, overwhelm and being afraid of not performing or having the end task not, you know, look as good as you want it to be. Um, but again, it just starts with starting. Can't make it more simple than that. Awesome. Okay. So on that note, we could end.
SPEAKER_02We did it! We started. We started the conversation and we ended it. And hopefully they enjoyed the journey along the way.
SPEAKER_00That's right. So thanks for being here, everyone, and for taking time to understand how your brain works just a little bit better.
SPEAKER_01If today's conversation resonated with you, please share this episode with anyone who may need it and follow us at netcollective.org or wherever you get your podcasts so you won't miss what's next. We are Net Collective. Navigating everything together, one conversation at a time. Thanks for listening.