Navigating Networking: How to Build New Connections

Navigating Networking: How to Build Connections, one conversation at a time.

 Who is this for: For students, young professionals, and parents supporting them, looking for simple and approachable tactics to begin networking, expand your network, or learn healthy networking habits.

• How do you network if you don’t feel confident walking into a room full of strangers? 
• What if you’re an introvert and the thought of networking makes your palms sweat or heart race?  
• What if you’re not even sure what networking really looks like — or how to begin?

In this episode, we break networking down into simple, approachable steps anyone can take. You’ll learn how networking is simply building relationships — one conversation at a time — and how small actions can lead to meaningful opportunities, insights, and connections. 

Networking isn’t only for job searches. It can help you explore careers, find mentors, join new communities, meet collaborators, or simply expand your world through conversation.

Tune in to learn:

• The ABCs of networking 
• Common mistakes to avoid 
• Practical tips for introverts 
• The mindset that makes networking feel natural and authentic

At NET Collective, we believe growth happens through connection. We’re here to help families navigate transitions — from classroom to college to careers and beyond — one conversation at a time.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts or visit netcollective.org to learn more.

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Transcript

Kay 0:00

Networking is a huge opportunity. Your mindset matters. It's really about listening and collecting information. It's the loose ties that are going to give you more bang for your buck. So start from curiosity.

Vinita 0:13

Welcome to Net Collective, where we navigate everything together, from classroom to college to careers and beyond. I'm Kay McBrearty, career coach and founder of Waterville Partners. I'm Vinita Patel, school psychologist in private practice. I'm Ruth Hayes, education professional and founder of Fulcio Prep. Net Collective, navigating everything together. One conversation at a time. I'm Vinita. And I'm Kay. And we are missing Ruth today. She's feeling under the weather, but of course, with us in spirit. This week we are talking all about networking, what it is and how it can be relevant to our listeners. So Kay, the expert of all experts, tell us.

Kay 0:56

So with networking, people always think it's about careers. That's the first thing that they think about. And actually, it relates to everybody in a lot of different ways. You can be networking in college. Maybe you're, you know, in a in the sorority or something, or maybe you're trying to get into a club, or you are new to an area and you need to meet new people. So there's a lot of different ways that you can use it. And you can also use it to help you get a new job or stay connected from a business perspective.

Vinita 1:25

So it can also be a s social thing too, like if you're trying to meet new, you move to a new neighborhood, or you know, you you're trying to meet new moms or new Franklin or whatever.

Kay 1:35

And so a lot of people think of it as being transactional. And the key really to networking is being curious. And so if you think about it, you're trying to make connections with people. And in making those connections, you want to find something that you maybe have in common, but it's all about making these connections and building these relationships. I love that you said.

Vinita 1:59

So now you're helping me reframe. I always talk about reframe, reframe your thoughts. I like how you just said it's about going to it, being curious. Whereas, you know, I've networked, you know, we we all work for ourselves. So it's really important for people who have their own private practices or work for themselves and, you know, your one person show to get out there and meet people. But I've always gone into it thinking, what can I get out of it? You know, how many business cards can I collect? How can I let people know what I'm doing? But the curiosity, and I'm naturally a curious person in general, but to go into a networking event or meeting someone, you know, professionally or not, curious. Tell me more about that. What do you mean, curious about them and what they do, what they can offer?

Kay 2:46

Yes. So, and you're not trying to get something, you're other than information. And so a lot of times, to your point, people think of it in terms of networking events. And for listeners out there, some of you might be extroverts and think, oh my gosh, this sounds like such fun. Introverts, however, might be thinking, oh my gosh, this is a the opposite of fun. Yeah, this is a nightmare. I would rather watch paint dry. And so we'll get into it in a second, but I've got tips for introverts, if you will, to make it. But really, it's it's not about having to go into a big room and work the room. It's about finding individual connections along the way. So you could go into a big room of people and meet just one person and be curious and ask them a question. How did you get started? What area are you in? But you're listening, you're really being a sponge. And so the key is that not just the mindset, the curiosity mindset, but what questions are you gonna ask? And so, and it can only be two, three questions, and you get enough information and then you move on to another person, perhaps. The other thing is forget about the big networking events because I think there's a lot of people that are just spooked by those and intimidated. And I get it. Then think about okay, I'm gonna set up conversations. And some people call them coffee chats, you can call them whatever you want. You don't even have to have coffee, but uh you need to find a way to have conversations with people. It could be over the phone, it could be over Zoom, it could be standing in line someplace. So, really having these conversations and asking questions about the other person, that's networking.

Vinita 4:24

Right. It doesn't have to be in an event format, correct. Which for many people who are introverts or say shy, I think can feel really overwhelming. And what would you say to someone? Can we if we can stick with that for for a minute here? What would you say to a client that is introverted and does not like larger networking events? Would you say try it anyway? Or would you say no, try to create your own?

Kay 4:57

Like, how do you guide that person? So with networking, uh there's a lot of things that you can control. Think about what you can control. You may not be able to control if somebody engages with you, but you can control how many messages you send out, whether it's an email or a phone call. Um so finding that one person. And then if you're an introvert, you can try the big event. I would say I would bring a buddy. Oh, that's a good idea. I would bring somebody that maybe is extroverted even. And you can be their wingman. Uh-huh. Or vice versa. And if you if it is two introverts that go together, you can challenge each other and think about, you know, okay, I'm gonna make the next contact. Then you make the next contact and you kind of feed off of each other. The other thing is with networking, I think of networking at a high level in terms of the A, B's, and C's. I mean, everybody has their little visual. Mine's a target.

Vinita 5:56

Okay.

Kay 5:57

And so the outer rim is A, anybody that you know.

Vinita 6:00

Okay.

Kay 6:01

The B's are the bridges that can get you to the C's who can help or can hire, can assist you in some way.

Vinita 6:08

Okay.

Kay 6:09

And so you never know when you talk to somebody if they're an A, they're just anybody that you know, or maybe they're a B and they can get you to somebody that could help you. Um so if you're aware that people could fall into one of those buckets, I then make it a game, especially for the introverts. Oh, yeah. And I'm like, okay, A's are worth one, B's are worth two, and C's are worth three. And can you get, you know, can you go into an event and can you come out with 10 points or whatever? You can make it a game. Okay.

Vinita 6:39

That's funny. So okay, so the introverts, I I I don't know why. For some reason, I'm just kind of thinking about them and have somewhat of an empathy right now towards them when I think about networking. How about like how would you plan beforehand to ease some of that anxiety or the stress or like the ugh, I don't want to do this, you know. But you know, you you really should do this because you want to be more people, you want to challenge yourself. How are some ways that you can advise our listeners to plan for a networking event?

Kay 7:09

Well, okay, so planning for a networking event. First of all, you if you are doing it from a career standpoint, for example, you need to do this. It's not that you should do it or you ought to do it or you could do it. You need to do it. And the reason you need to do it is because uh depending on what statistic you look at, 75 to 80 percent of all jobs are filled by through networking. Oh, wow. Not through just randomly sending resumes into the abyss. Um, and we'll talk about resumes at another point, but for networking, you need to do networking. It is a skill, it is a muscle, and you need to figure out how to use it. Now, if you're predisposed to be introverted and not really excited about this whole topic the way I am, that's okay. There are some things that you need to do up front. One is if you get anxious, and if you're doing it in a big event, for example, figure out ways to calm your nerves beforehand. Okay. Um, do power posing. I'm a big fan of that. The the, you know, Rocky Balboa pose or the Superman pose for two minutes and smile. But figure out how you want to calm your nerves. The other thing is do research. What types of people are gonna be at this event? Do you know anybody that's there? Do they have a list of people ahead of time? Might you be able to look them up? Um, and then go in with an open attitude and think about okay, I'm just gonna make one connection. Start small. And just stay the whole time.

Vinita 8:39

It's also just make a goal for yourself. Okay, I'm gonna stay 30 minutes, but if I'm having a good time and this is fruitful, I can stay longer.

Kay 8:47

And and back to, you know, our prior episode about you know, planning versus executing and starting small. So make a plan, and maybe it's I'm gonna meet one person and I'm gonna be there 10 minutes and I'm gonna leave. Right. That's a start.

Vinita 9:00

Right.

Kay 9:00

That's more, that's 100% more than you would have had if you hadn't gone at all. So I would do that. The other thing is too, I've seen tips and tricks for introverts specifically. Oh, great. Um, so if you don't want to do the big events, have one-on-one conversations. Right. Take the take the group aspect and the bigness out of it and go one-on-one. So find somebody that you can talk to and start safe. Start with somebody that maybe you even loosely know.

Vinita 9:26

Okay.

Kay 9:26

Um, so start with, you know, one-on-one conversations um in instead of the big events. You know, prepare a few questions ahead of time. And it might be somebody that's been in the industry for a long time. And you can say, Oh, what's kept you here? Or what attracted you here in the first place? Or if it's somebody that's new to the company or new to their role, you can say, Well, what attracted you here? You know, what do you like about this place? Um, what do you like about the job? If you could change one thing, what would it be? Maybe you ask them, look, I'm interested in this field. Do you have any advice? What advice would you give to someone like me?

Vinita 10:00

And all of this taps into your original um overarching um takeaway was go into it with curiosity. Absolutely. So by making that statement, are you saying be more interested or find a way to be more interested in the other person or their role? Or you know, is that what you mean?

Kay 10:19

Yeah, find find things that you're curious about. You already know what you're curious about. You know what it is that you want to do. You need to make new friends, or you're wanting to get into this group, or you're wanting to get this job. And so you already know what it is you're you're trying to get. You want more information that might be able to help you better inform your decisions or your options. And so being curious about what information, what experience do they have that you could tap into that you could learn from? Does that make sense?

Vinita 10:50

It does. And it reminds me of something really neat that you said a couple of episodes ago, which was we have one mouth and two ears. Yes. We should be listening twice as much as we talk. And note to self, I need to be doing that more.

Kay 11:04

No, but then seriously, seriously, that that's that's all it is. So be prepared for a few questions. Remember, you know, curiosity is your superpower.

Vinita 11:12

Yes.

Kay 11:12

And then and give yourself permission to take it slow. There's no What does that mean? Take it slow. Take it slow. Like there's no rush. Like some people, it's not like you walk into a big room and you've got to try and get 10 people in 10 minutes. Like it's not speed dating or something. Right. Right?

Vinita 11:27

It's it's really Which is a form of networking.

Kay 11:29

I mean, that's a whole nother that's a whole nother um topic we could get into. But um and then, you know, one meaningful convert conversation at a time. That's it. Just one meaningful conversation. Right. And you'll start to build your confidence, you'll start to build your muscle, and then it won't be so intimidating.

Vinita 11:48

And you know, I think that I remember back in my day when I was new, um, I was pretty green and started my private practice. And I was like, okay, I need clients. I need to, you know, and I would go into it with a different mindset. I need go to these networking events, and I would go into it being like, I have to build up my business, I have to build up my clientele, I have to, you know, and I think I missed a lot of opportunities to just be curious, ask the right questions. Um, I was such a different mindset. I'm obviously much more mature now, right? And have a better framework for how, you know, how to properly network for me.

Kay 12:27

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. So I mean, I think that the the biggest thing is just getting over the initial hurdle of starting it. Right. So regardless of whether you're introverted, extroverted, anything in between, doesn't matter. Okay. Um the other thing is I I mentioned it earlier, but you know, you can take control of things in terms of, you know, how many people are, you know, maybe set goals for yourself. How many people am I going to reach out to this week? And LinkedIn is a great place where you can um, you know, send people messages and it's very low barrier to entry.

Vinita 13:03

Right. So there's also this uh I I guess we're calling it online networking, social networking, where it doesn't have to be face to face with. Exactly. How effective is that, Kay?

Kay 13:13

I find it to be very effective. So I have used it, for example. Um, there was a situation where I was interested in a job years ago and I'd never heard of the company. And I looked on my LinkedIn and there was someone who I was two away from. And turns out we had we'd both received an education at the same place, and we both had worked at the same place at one point in time. And she was considerably younger than me. So I just sent her a message and said, Hey, I'm applying for a job. It looks like I would become a peer of yours. I'm really curious what the culture is at that company. Would you be willing to spend five minutes with me? And I you have to be quick and short. I don't know exactly what I said, but you've only got like 200 characters or something on LinkedIn. So I was very concise with my message, but I showed the connection, right? Not only did she link in with me, she sent me a message and said, I'd be happy to talk to you. And I totally remember you. I was actually in the audience when you gave a presentation at that company. And so I called her. We talked for 30 minutes. She connected me with the hiring manager, and I ended up not getting the job for a completely different reason. But I now have more people in my network that I didn't have before. And if I needed to call this person again, I would do it in a heartbeat. Or if she needed something from me, she could reach out to me. And so my point is with LinkedIn, especially, you can and other social um platforms, you can, you're you're so close to people. You're only a couple people away.

Vinita 14:45

Right. And that goes back to your first point about connections, right? Exactly. Make those connections. They could be anybody, it could be a bridge, or it can help you. It's someone that can help you.

Kay 14:56

Okay. And then the your communication style is also gonna be critical here. You need to listen, but you also need to think. So we talked about the elevator pitch last time, and you really need to be able to articulate. If somebody's gonna ask you something, then you need to be able to say, you know, here's my story, this is my past, right, here's what I'm looking for right now, here's my present, and here's what I really want to do, my future. And so you need to be prepared to answer questions, but it's really more about asking questions. Okay.

Vinita 15:26

Asking questions about the other person and what they're doing, or asking how they can help you.

Kay 15:34

No, I would not ask them how they can help you, and I would not ask them for a job. I would not ask them for, but like when I reached out, that example I just gave, I wasn't asking that person to connect me to with the hiring manager. I was saying, I want to understand the culture of this company to see if it really would be a fit for me.

Vinita 15:51

Okay.

Kay 15:52

And you've been there for a few years, I really would respect your opinion. And that's it. I was just listening to her opinion. And then we got into a whole lot more. It it grew from that, but that's all I was looking for. And she was kind enough then to make that introduction because she felt comfortable, because we had established a relationship.

Vinita 16:09

Right.

Kay 16:10

So it also speaks to the theory of weak ties. So there's strong ties and weak ties. Most people lean into their strong ties. They want to talk to people they know.

Vinita 16:19

Yeah, it's comfortable. It's comfortable. Yeah, it's it doesn't take us outside of our box.

Kay 16:25

Exactly. But it's the theory of or the the value of weak ties that actually matters. There's a book that I recommend people to a lot of my clients, and I give it as a high school and college um graduation gift, oftentimes. It's by Meg J. It's called The Defining Decade, Why Your Twenties Matter Now.

Vinita 16:42

Oh, great.

Kay 16:43

The first 70 pages talk about career. And I've happened to have been fortunate to meet Meg at one point. She's great. So I would highly recommend her book. Okay. What's it called? What's this title again? The Defining Decade, Why Your Twenties Matter Now. Okay. By Meg J. Okay. So I'm Kay, she's Jay.

Vinita 16:58

Uh-huh.

Kay 16:58

Um, but anyway, um, in the first 70 pages, she talks about um the career. But there's a a chapter within that first 70 pages called Weak Ties. And it talks about how if you lean into your strong ties, you're leaning into people who are probably in your same network.

Vinita 17:16

Right.

Kay 17:17

And that doesn't expand anything. Right. It's the loose ties or the weak ties or the warm connections that are going to give you more bang for your buck.

Vinita 17:27

Can you give us an example? Yes.

Kay 17:28

So Meg actually Meg actually gives an example in her book. And the one I just gave with with my examples where I had a loose connection to that woman, but she ended up helping me. Meg actually got a box of books and delivered to her by mistake. And um she ended up calling to find out, you know, whose they were and said, Oh, I'm sorry, I think I got your box of books. And there, she's like, Don't worry, just keep it. So she kept it and it became a conversation piece. People took, you know, a book from her box, you know, when they came over to visit. Then Meg actually was writing this book. And when she was writing this book, she needed information about editors, publishers, whatever. And so she reached out to the book box lady. Oh, wow. Who was very helpful. And she's the book is published. So she helped her find resources and she didn't know this person. Right. But for the fact that she had gotten a box of her books. Okay. Do you see what I mean?

Vinita 18:22

So that would be considered a loose tie because it wasn't directly related to what she was doing at the time. Exactly.

Kay 18:30

I mean, you can you can even look at how we have our um lovely sound technician who's with us.

Vinita 18:37

Oh yeah. Mm-hmm. Right. That was a that was a beautiful. It was serendipitous. It was serendipitous. And so had we have not reached out to him by chance. Right. Yeah.

Kay 18:49

So everything is connected, is my point. So I think if you What about how we met?

Vinita 18:56

The three of us, right?

Kay 18:58

It's interesting because you and I had shared clients um years ago, many years ago. And then Ruth and I just our paths crossed again, just briefly. And fast forward, I was feeling like I wanted to have peers. And I have my own business, as do you, as does Ruth, and other women that we knew. So I connected a group of us and we started having monthly Zoom calls and sharing, you know, best practices, questions, and it was great. And then the three of us, because we happened to be local with each other and we really had a strong um intersection with our clients, we started meeting for um lunch once a month. And then this podcast came out of that. But again, I mean, you and I had met like seven years ago or something. Ruth and I had crossed paths maybe three or four years ago, and now we're together. Do you know what I mean? Right.

Vinita 19:55

And and that group that you, that networking group that you started were loose, for me, they were loose ties because I would not have met them had it not have been for you. And some really didn't do anything close to what I do. However, it was a gr they were all great connections because we still learn from each other. Right. Yeah. Okay.

Kay 20:14

So connecting is some it's a hobby of mine. It's sort of sport and I love it. Um, and so if somebody says, Oh, I'm thinking about XYZ, I'm already spinning in my head. Who do I know that might be able to help this person? And if you think about it, helping each other or helping a loose connection is so easy to do. It's they're not asking for money, they're not asking for a lot of time. They're just saying, Do you know anybody that might be able to help me? Right. Or do you have a resource that might be appropriate here? And that's it. And it's it might be yes and it might be no. Right. So it's it's low barrier to entry.

Vinita 20:50

So here's a question I have. Yeah. Actually, I have two questions. Are you ready for questions? Or is there something we're doing? Okay, no, go ahead. Go ahead. You know me with my questions. One, what's the best way to follow up after you've networked either at an event or one-to-one on a coffee chat or whatever? What is the etiquette on follow-up?

Kay 21:10

I suggest doing it same day or next day. Okay. And it can be as simple as depending on how the relationship was, it might be connecting with them on LinkedIn if you've not already done that. It might be, you know, shooting them a text if you guys exchanged numbers and it was that, it was a tighter connection. Um in some situations, you may even write a handwritten note, which I know is archaic by a lot of standards. But people don't expect to get a note in the mail. And so when they do, it's really I it's something unusual. And so depending on what kind of a message you want to send. Again, I do think typically in these situations, um timing and urgency is maybe outweighs that. Um and so sending something um via Okay.

Vinita 22:02

Why is it important though to wait or I'm sorry, why is it important not to wait? Why why follow up? I'm just looking for the rationale.

Kay 22:12

I would say I would do it to stay top of mind.

Vinita 22:14

Okay.

Kay 22:14

Just to say thanks. It was great meeting you. Really enjoyed meeting you. It doesn't have to be anything more than just enjoyed meeting you. I'm glad we're connected. Or if there's a follow-up question. Yeah, if there's a follow-up question or something. You can follow up then, or it might be two weeks later. It might be a month later that you're like, oh, I remember that, you know, Joe or Mary or whoever I just met, they might actually have know something about this. Right. And then you just then you reach back out to them. And you're not reaching out to them like a month later because that you're still top of mind. So that's why I just I try and say, Great meeting you. Enjoyed meeting you, look forward to being connected, or look forward, you know, to future conversations or whatever. Just to then you're you're in. You're done. You you've made that connection. You've done it. They're part of your networking. You've closed the loop. Exactly.

Vinita 23:00

You set the meeting up, you did the the thing, the meeting, and then you said thank you and closed the loop there. And it and that I think that's just good practice to do that.

Kay 23:10

It's a healthy habit. I always talk about career habits. The same way you have health habits, you've got career habits. And so that consistent follow-up after you've met somebody is really important. And the other thing is too setting up these meetings. Like you need to, you know, you need to set up the meeting, you need to then have the meeting, and then you need to follow up and close the meeting. Right. So it's a good sequence.

Vinita 23:32

My other question is this how has networking evolved? Because you're talking about handwritten notes. If I suggested that to any one of my teenage clients or young clients, they'd be like, what? What are your thoughts on this generation of networking and how you and I grew up networking?

Kay 23:55

Well, yeah. I mean, you had to write a a handwritten note because there was no electronic option back in the day. Right. So I I lean into the current options and with email and things like that, there's no excuse not to um jot an email to somebody to say thank you. Because number one, it's it's going to be um easy to read, right? It's typed, it's not handwritten. The handwritten notes, some people have sloppy handwriting, some people have neat handwriting. So um I think that um the, you know, again, leaning into the technology is the way to go and just being timely with it.

Vinita 24:33

But I'm also just talking about not just the follow-through with with this generation. I'm also just talking about networking in general.

Kay 24:41

Yes.

Vinita 24:41

The evolution of just networking. Um let's just let's talk to our young listeners right now, our 20-something or our college students that need to network for business fraternity or or whatever. Right. Are there any different trends right now that they should be aware of?

Kay 24:59

I mean, they're all using social media. I mean, there's the LinkedIn, which is an electronic version, but then there, I mean, you know, some Instagram's the big one. I mean networking. For network. Well, they're they're looking and they're seeing who's available.

Vinita 25:13

Do you know what I mean?

Kay 25:13

And they're they're probably have way more connections on their social media than they do on their LinkedIn. And that's fine. And they're for different purposes. But if you are interested in something, you may be able to take your Instagram, you know, plethora of contacts there and and look and see, are they on LinkedIn? I mean, even though somebody socially might have something, you never know what they might have on their LinkedIn. So the research piece. The research piece.

Vinita 25:39

They have more access to researching if they're really interested in a company or an internship or a person.

Kay 25:45

And and there's no excuse for this generation not to do their homework.

Vinita 25:49

Right.

Kay 25:51

To at least at least look at their LinkedIn before you meet with them or before you ask to meet with them. That's a minimum. I mean, you can Google them and see you can you can stalk their you know socials if you want, but there is no reason why you shouldn't know something about the person that you're going to meet with if you're setting this beforehand.

Vinita 26:09

Right. Yes. So that's a big advantage that that is is you know current with the And then and then being able to research the company, for example.

Kay 26:18

I mean, back in the day, you used to have to write a note or type a note, send it to the company to then get their, you know, last annual report, which is you know, months old sent to you. And then that was the data that you had to look at. Now you can just search online has this company been in the news in the last week, the last month? You know, who's their competition? I mean, so there's a lot of resources at people's disposal right now to do the research and to do the homework.

Vinita 26:48

And use the resources. Yes.

Kay 26:50

Okay. Yes. Okay, great. So here are some mistakes to maybe avoid in networking. Um, treating it like a transaction. This is not a transaction. This is you are building relationships and you are building connections. And so this is not a what can you give me or what can I give you per se. It is a trying to find some real connection and build a real relationship, even if it's a loose connection. Okay. So not treating it like a transaction is the first piece because I think a lot of people go in with that mindset. Okay. And we just talked about the homework piece. Right. There that is a common mistake, and there's no excuse for it. If somebody has not done any homework, then honestly, that that's kind of a a turn off.

Vinita 27:39

So what happens if you're going to a large networking event? You can't do your homework on everyone there. No.

Kay 27:44

So what would you w I guess it would be appropriate to uh do homework on who's hosting it, maybe, or absolutely and then whoever you're meeting, you haven't been able to do homework on them, but I would you you gather the names and things, and then maybe before you send your note to say thank you, you look on their LinkedIn.

Vinita 28:04

Okay.

Kay 28:05

And maybe your thank you, or it was great meeting you, is a LinkedIn invitation.

Vinita 28:10

Okay.

Kay 28:10

Where you comment about something that you spoke about, okay, as well as something from their LinkedIn.

Vinita 28:16

Okay.

Kay 28:16

Does that make sense?

Vinita 28:17

Totally makes sense.

Kay 28:19

So do your homework. It's not a transaction. Um, do not talk about yourself.

Vinita 28:24

Oh.

Kay 28:24

People to end up talking too much about themselves. Back to the two years, one mouth.

Vinita 28:28

Right.

Kay 28:29

You you need to be asking them questions.

Vinita 28:32

Okay.

Kay 28:33

This is not an opportunity for you to show how eloquently you can speak. This is about listening to other people tell their stories.

Vinita 28:41

Right.

Kay 28:42

They may ask you your story and you want to be prepared to tell your story back to your elevator pitch. But it's really about listening and collecting information. So don't talk about yourself too much. And then people forget to follow up. They're like, oh, that was a great conversation or that was a lot of fun or whatever. But then they don't follow up. So you're missing an opportunity to solidify this person in your contacts now. Okay. And in your network. Um, and then thinking that networking is a one-time event, like, oh, I'm gonna go do this and check the box. It's not a check the box, it's an ongoing process. And so again, back to healthy habits, you really want this to be a muscle that you're exercising time and time again. And building that muscle strength. And then, you know, building these relationships to grow over time. And again, you start planting a couple little seeds, and you know, you ask one person, um, you know, is there anybody else that you can think of that would be interesting for me to talk to?

Vinita 29:39

Oh, I like that question.

Kay 29:40

And then they give you one name, or maybe they give you two names, and then each of those names gives you one or two names. And it just keeps growing because you're asking questions and you're listening.

Vinita 29:52

Yes, I like that. I like that. And here, can I ask you an honest question? Yeah. And I and I've been in this situation before. Yes. And I'm I'm uh tried, I think I try to be overly polite, but I think it's really important to listen. And I love everything you said about be curious. I mean, you know, the two ears, one mouth. 100% on board with that. What happens if it's not reciprocated? What if I'm doing all the things, the beautiful things that you suggested, but it's not coming back to me, whereas, okay, well, now tell me about you, or tell me, you know, and you're stuck in this one-to-one conversation with someone that's not interested in me. What do I find a nice exit or do I do I still follow up? I mean, what so here's a question.

Kay 30:39

Is it in a one-on-one situation that you set up, or is it in a a big networking event?

Vinita 30:45

I mean, I don't, I don't know. I think it could be either. I think it could be either.

Kay 30:49

If it's one where you've set up the one-on-one and they're not really asking you about yourself and you're getting some information from them, or they're able to give you another contact of somebody maybe to follow up with, it served its purpose. I would end the conversation and say, Hey, I really respect your time. Thanks so much for being, you know, for giving me five, 10 minutes or whatever it was. And just end it and be done. And that's it. Some connections are gonna be, you know, more fun than others. Right. Some are gonna be more fruitful than than others. You don't know which one's gonna be fruitful.

Vinita 31:19

And that's the part where you say, There's certain things you can control and certain things you just can't. Like anything. Yeah. Yeah.

Kay 31:25

And so I would just and and then if you're in a big group and you feel sort of trapped with somebody, that is one where you can say, Oh, this has been great. You know, that's where maybe where you need to use the restroom or you need to get a drink, or or you see somebody else that you are looking forward to connecting with. And thank you so much for your time. I really appreciate it. And you just politely redirect. Right. Especially if it's at a big networking event. But yeah, if you do get pinned with one individual, have a few um exit strategies. Exit strategies. And back to if you have a buddy that you've brought to an event, have a signal with your buddy, like to help you transition with great.

Vinita 32:07

Right. So you don't get cornered or yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Okay. Okay. Um, okay.

Conclusion

Vinita 32:12

All right. Can we just, you know, just reiterate like the big key takeaways for our listeners here.

Kay 32:18

Um, you know, networking is a huge opportunity. Your mindset matters. So start from curiosity. If you start from a place of curiosity, things will flow from there. Um we talked about the ABCs of networking. A is anyone you know, B are the bridges, C is are they can help or can hire you or can connect you with somebody. Um, but you're not asking anybody for a job, you're not asking thing for things outright, you're looking for information and you're being you know, you're being curious. Um, I think also, I mean, that's the big takeaways the the be curious thing. Um, and then just make sure that you are prepared, that you're following up, that you close the loops, and that you think about each interaction is just one more, you know, spoke in the wheel, one more um piece of your um uh network, and and you're just building it one person at a time. The same way we say we're having these podcasts, one conversation at a time. It's it really is one conversation at a time. And you don't know which ones are gonna end up being surprisingly awesome, right? And which ones you thought might be better that turn out to be a dud. It's okay. Right. It's okay.

Vinita 33:28

And if you think about networking as a web, you never know, you know, because we're all somehow connected, you know. Um, and I think that's a really these are these are some really good um takeaways. Perfect. So on that note, go do some networking, folks. One conversation at a time. Until next time. If today's conversation resonated with you, please share this episode with anyone who may need it and follow us at netcollective.org or wherever you get your podcasts so you don't miss what's next. We are Net Collective, navigating everything together, one conversation at a time. Thanks for listening.