Interview Strategies That Matter

Interviews can feel intimidating—but they don’t have to. If they make you nervous, this episode is for you. In this episode of NET Collective Podcast, we break down the different types of interviews students and young professionals may encounter, from informational interviews to behavioral job interviews to video interviews.

Drawing on decades of experience in staffing, college recruiting, career coaching, and mock interview preparation for MBA candidates, we share practical strategies to help listeners prepare with confidence, communicate authentically, and ask smart questions.

We discuss:

• The purpose of informational interviews and how to use them effectively 
• Behavioral interview preparation and common mistakes 
• How to calm nerves and make a strong first impression 
• Smart questions candidates could ask during an interview
• Why reflection and follow-up matter more than most people realize 

Whether you’re preparing for an internship, first job, graduate school interview, or career pivot, this episode offers actionable guidance for both students and parents navigating the process together.

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Transcript

Kay 0:00

Remember that it's two humans having a conversation.

Vinita 0:04

Welcome to Net Collective, where we navigate everything together, from classroom to college to careers and beyond. I'm Kay McBrudy, career coach and founder of Waterville Partners. I'm Vanita Patel, school psychologist in private practice.

Ruth 0:18

I'm Ruth Hayes, education professional and founder of Fulcita Prep.

Vinita 0:23

NetCollective, navigating everything together. One conversation at a time. Welcome to Net Collective. Today we're going to be talking about how to improve our interviewing skills. And I know when I think about that, I think of, you know, times where I've been interviewed where I felt intimidated and had some nervousness around that. So, okay, help, help us, help us all, please.

Kay 0:48

This episode is intended to help people demystify interviews and feel more confident and minimize some of those fears that we often have. And when you think about it, um with interviews, sometimes people's hands, you know, their palms get sweaty and their heart races and their voice might get a little shaky. So we're going to talk about how to calm your fears, but we're also going to talk about how to build your confidence and how to prepare effectively for an interview so you can minimize those things. And when you're learning any new skill, if you're thinking about a sport, riding a bike, anything, there's this excited anticipation that you have, and there's also a little bit of fear. Am I going to succeed? How well am I going to do with this? And with interviews, it's the same thing. It's a muscle. You're going to learn how to do it. And repetition is you're only going to get better. So what do you think some of the biggest fears are, audience, maybe the high schoolers or the college students, the young adults might have when it comes to interviews?

Ruth 1:46

I would say the biggest is just not knowing the answer, not being asked a question and just kind of going blank.

Kay 1:53

Well, and that's probably the biggest fear. Students often think that the interviewers, they're testing them and that there's a right or a wrong answer. Rather than it's a conversation, they really just want to converse with you and they're looking for fit. They want to know how you think, how do you communicate, are you self-aware? How might you fit into their team? And so they're just, they're asking you questions and um they're rarely looking for perfection. I mean, I don't think anyone's looking for a perfect answer. They just want to have a conversation. And as soon as you realize that the interviewer is a person just like you, they put their pants on one leg at a time, and it's a conversation, it hopefully takes that fear level down a little bit.

Vinita 2:33

Right. And they've also at some point in their lives been interviewed too, right?

Kay 2:36

Well, exactly. And we were talking before this session. Um, conversations are something that not all these young people are comfortable with because they've been so accustomed to um communicating with their thumbs on screens. Exactly. Or being able to do another take if they need to. Exactly. And an interview, you get one take. I mean, you're in there and it's okay. Take a breath, you know, just calm yourself before you get in. We'll talk about that in a second. What's another fear?

Vinita 3:04

I, you know, I remember just the awkward silences or, you know, the the pauses and wondering, well, what are they thinking? Should I say something? Should I say something that, you know, just to fill that void?

Ruth 3:17

Have I been thinking too long? What should I do? Yeah, yeah.

Vinita 3:20

It's a stream of consciousness that I don't know what to do to do with it.

Kay 3:23

And if there's an awkward moment of silence or what you perceive to be an awkward moment of silence, they might be thinking. They might be thinking about what their next question is, just as you're thinking about what your next answer might be once you know what the question is. So don't be afraid to embrace the silence. Um, and don't try and fill it unnaturally with something. I think just listen and and silent again, they're not judging you. They're taking in information about you. It feels like you're being judged and it feels like you're in the hot seat, but they're just trying to get information so that they can then, you know, make better decisions about who's the best fit for their team.

Vinita 4:02

Right. What about if I go into an interview or I got the interview, so that's great. But uh one of the fears could be uh what if I don't have enough experience?

Kay 4:11

Well, and I think that especially for young people who frankly don't have that much experience in the workplace, but they have other life experiences. And so being able to take what experiences you do have, maybe on a team, maybe with a class project, um and and apply those in a way, demonstrate what your skills are, you can um close that experience gap a little bit. And again, for a lot of these entry-level positions, they're not they're going to teach you a lot of things on the job. So experience may not be what they most need in some of these jobs.

SPEAKER_02 4:48

Okay.

Kay 4:49

All right, okay. All right. So um once you get over the fears, um, and again, we'll we'll touch on a few things to help calm the nerves later. There's different types of interviews. And so there's informational interviews, there's interviews that you could do for an internship or a job, there's behavior-based interviews versus case-based interviews, uh, there's online or Zoom interviews, and then there's even video-based interviews. So we could talk for hours on all these things. Today we're really going to focus in on informational interviews and the value of those. And then we're also going to talk about behavior-based interviews.

Vinita 5:26

So, can I ask a question right there, since you're on that specific topic? I wonder if many of our listeners out there, especially students, confuse networking with informational interviews. How are those different?

Kay 5:39

Great question, Vanita. Um, networking is really broad relationship building, and informational interviews are really more about purposeful learning. So, what you're trying to do is with networking, you're um you're meeting people that you know you can add to your network. And I think of it almost for um the younger generation. You might have snap, for example, on your phone. And um, as you're getting people snaps, you're networking, you're building your relationships, you're building your contact list. When you actually want to find out where the next party is, or can somebody help you with this assignment, that's an informational interview. Then you're actually going to snap them. And so you're building your network with networking and connecting with people, and then you're actually doing something and you're learning information. You're getting a piece of information from the informational interview. Okay.

Vinita 6:34

Does that make sense? So, okay, and correct me if I'm wrong here. Is it safe to say that networking is kind of like interviewing rehearsal? It's like a rehearsal for interviewing. Yeah.

Kay 6:47

And you're not prep a little bit, but it's really about just meeting people and building the relationships that might later turn into informational interviews. So networking is sort of like building your map and then informational interviewing is stopping to ask for directions.

Vinita 7:03

Okay.

Kay 7:03

So it's more focused. Yep. So um maybe it would be helpful um to clarify to our listeners: um, if the goal of an informational interview isn't really to get a job, how do you actually define success? So it's really success is leaving with better information, greater clarity, and um one or two additional people that you might be able to talk to. Okay. So that's what you're trying to get out of the informational interview. Um so when you think about these informational interviews, I think using those words is intimidating enough. That's a mouthful. Information and interviews. And it's like really they're casual conversations. Right. Okay. And if you reframe them as just a casual conversation or a coffee chat or something like that, it just takes the pressure off. So the informational interviews are really someplace where you're gonna um find somebody safe to talk to. Just start simple, right? Family, friends, and um and have conversations. There's five smart questions that I suggest people could ask in an informational interview. It might be, you know, how did you get started in this field? Um, what do you like most about this field? What are some challenges? What advice would you give to someone like me who's interested in this field? And then the final question is do you know anyone I can talk to in this field? And may I use your name when connecting with them?

Vinita 8:28

Oh, I like that one a lot because you're actually walking away with something tangible that could help you for the next step. Exactly. Getting a position, that job, whatever it is. Okay. Exactly. I like that a lot. And it's okay to ask that, right? Absolutely. The worst they can say is no.

Kay 8:46

I mean, I always ask rude. I always ask in any situation, what's the worst that can happen?

SPEAKER_02 8:52

Yeah.

Kay 8:52

The worst that can happen, and then the least you can learn. So even if you bomb an interview, you don't feel like you had a productive informational interview, it's okay. You've got plenty more opportunities. I mean, you're gonna miss 100% of the shots you never take. Right. So keep um muscle memory, keep flexing that muscle, keep practicing this skill.

Vinita 9:16

So this is really reframing what interview, okay. So it's inter for informational interview. That part is really important. That adjective in front of interview is very important because you are really just pulling out some information that could help you for the next step. It is not about you're sitting across the seat, across the table from, you know, like the CEO and being interviewed and you're on the Hasi. That's what I thought this was, you know, going to convey. But informational interview is let's gather some information. Well, exactly.

Kay 9:49

And the next too, for especially for our young listeners. If you want to talk to a particular company or a senior executive, now is the time to ask. This is when the executives are happy to spend 10 minutes with some young, hungry, interested person and share nuggets with them. When you are trying to get a J-O-B, they just think you're trying to get a job. If you're just trying to get information from them, they're happy to share their wisdom with you. This is the time to reach out and build those connections and do the networking, but do the informational interview and actually get some good information that you can use immediately or in the future.

Vinita 10:34

And you know, okay, as I'm reading through your or thinking through your five smart questions, each one of those questions are questions I would ask a mentor. Absolutely. Right? Absolutely. These are great questions. Like if you're even seeking a mentor, you know, or someone to just kind of like your or advisor. Like I remember in grad school, like, who do I want to ask to be my advisor? These are the similar questions I would ask. So those would be considered informational interviews. Okay.

Kay 11:03

And you can do those, these types of conversations with anybody. I mean, start with a parent, start with siblings, start with friends, um, parents. And a couple of us uh parents have talked about having a barbecue where we actually have our kids go around and introduce themselves to all the other parents there, even though they've known them since they were little, and ask them a couple interviewing or informational questions and see what kind of information they get because these are people they've been surrounded with that have been on their soccer sidelines or whatever their whole childhood, but they never thought of them as what are they doing for a living. And so you can do that in a really safe, casual way, for example.

Ruth 11:48

That's a I think that's a great idea. And going back to your point about um how kids are living in a different technological environment and maybe aren't used to having these in-person um conversations, there used to be so much more meeting people. You used to need to go up and talk to a new person to do almost anything. And now that's such a rare experience. I think having a little kind of salon to practice those skills is a great idea.

Kay 12:09

Well, and and depending on when people are listening to this, if it's summertime, for example, and there's barbecues, use that as a as an example, you know, and it can be whatever. But I I do think that setting up casual environments where these young people can uh commingle with adults and ask questions, or look at their high school might have events, you know, during the summer where they bring alumni back, or they're wherever they are, maybe they're in college and they've got, you know, events where they bring the alumni from that school or the students from that school together for the summer for some reason.

Vinita 12:43

You know? So I think the term informational interviews sounds much more intimidating than it really is. It's really about gathering information and how can I use that information from this professional, this friend, this, you know, person that I can learn from exactly to further my future in any way.

Kay 13:05

Right. That's great. Absolutely. And and I've shared a story, I believe, in a previous episode, but where um somebody, you know, reached out to some uh, you know, an employee at a firm and said, Hey, can I just ask you a few questions about your company? I'm really interested in it. And, you know, and it ended up that when that person applied for a job, the person that they had had a casual conversation with was able to forward the resume to the hiring manager, to the HR manager, and ultimately get a job. But be very clear informational interviews, networking is not about getting a J-O-B. It's about building relationships if you're networking, and it's about getting information if you're doing a casual conversation. Okay. Interviews are completely different. Okay? I mean behavior-based interviews. Okay.

Vinita 13:57

Now we move on to behavior based.

Kay 13:59

Yeah, behavior-based interviews. So one of the things um is this behavior. Are you guys familiar with the behavior-based versus the case-based?

Ruth 14:07

Uh tell us.

Kay 14:08

Okay. So the behavior-based is going to take a look at, it's going to look backwards at your experiences. And case-based interviews are focused more on uh looking forward and how you think and how you would solve a problem. And so most of our audience will be doing behavior-based interviews. And that's what we're going to focus in on. The case-based ones, um, they might ask a question like, how many coffee shops would could potentially be in downtown Chicago? Now, nobody knows for sure. Um, and so they want to see how are you gonna process that. So that's more for finance, investment, banking, consulting type interviews, maybe MBA interviews, will ask these case-based interview type questions. And there's a completely different prep for those, and we're not gonna get into those right now. We want to focus on the behavior-based interviews because anyone that's interviewing for an entry-level job outside those that I just mentioned, or um a summer internship or something like that, is probably going to be doing a behavior-based interview.

Vinita 15:10

Is that considered more of a traditional traditional interview? Exactly. So they're gonna interview.

Kay 15:15

They're gonna ask you questions about your past. Give me an example of, and then that example will demonstrate your leadership skills, your teamwork skills, your decision-making skills. So they will be able to say, hey, based on what they did in that situation, we think they would do something similar in the future, right? So they're looking, they're they're looking in the rearview mirror versus looking straight ahead on the road. Does that make sense? The reflective versus the forward thinking?

Vinita 15:43

Yes. Okay. And again, correct me if I'm wrong, because oftentimes I am. I I'm visualizing the interviewer looking at the potential candidate's resume while sitting through this behavioral interview. Is that typically what a behavioral interview is? Because everything you're describing is what have you done in the past? Yes. What experience is leading you to sit here in front of me?

Kay 16:11

So if you have completed a resume and done all the work to put into the resume, you have a sense for what have you accomplished? What have you done? What are you prepared to talk about, right? And you already have a narrative established. Exactly. And then we'll talk about some uh recipes that you can follow to help you articulate that in an interview. But basically, basically, with the behavior-based interview, they're really trying to understand how you've handled situations in the past, how are your interpersonal skills, how self-aware are you, what's your communication style, your leadership style, your resiliency, your judgment. And so the past behavior is going to hopefully predict what your future behavior would be. Um, and so the common types of questions that you're gonna get are you know, tell me about a time where you've handled a conflict, for example, or describe a challenge that you've overcome. Give me an example of leadership, teamwork, whatever. And then um, they're really gonna be looking at your um communication skills, your problem-solving skills, accountability, teamwork, all of those types of things will be able to be discerned. So back in one of my corporate roles, I actually would train the people in the company to be interviewers. Like, how do you ask? You know, because here's the other thing is you may prepare really well and be a great interviewee, but you don't know what kind of training your interviewer has had or how good they are. Or what they're gonna ask you. Right. And some people may ask naturally really great questions. Some people may have been trained to ask really great questions. Most of the time, um, the interviewer will have a list of boxes that they want to check. They want to find out about, you know, these five skills. So they're gonna ask you questions targeted to that. Um and so they have a fairly um, you know, manufactured script that they're gonna sort of stick to. Um, and you wanna make it easy for the interviewer to take notes. So you're gonna you wanna think about how you tell your stories so that they're like, oh yes, they've got great leadership skills or they've got great decision-making skills, right?

Ruth 18:22

And without pulling us too far off track here, um, if you could just give us 30 seconds about what goes into being a good interviewer, I'm really fascinated about what you're doing in these trainings.

Kay 18:31

Well, I think being a good interviewer is being a good listener. I think it's being asking good questions. It's asking follow-up questions. Sometimes the interviewee will skate on the top and you have to dig a little deeper. And it was funny because uh back in the day, people would say to me when we would have these debrief sessions, um, and someone would say, Okay, who interviewed candidate A? And three of us would raise our hand and we would give feedback. And people are like, How did you find that out? How did you pull that out? Because there are certain questions that you can and cannot ask as an interviewer. Um, so that's again a whole nother topic. But if you ask open-ended questions and you let them talk and you ask good follow-up questions, you can get really interesting information.

Vinita 19:18

I think it's a it's a skill and that not everybody has.

Kay 19:21

Yeah, absolutely.

Vinita 19:22

No, I mean, I've we've watched enough interviews, you know, from some of the greats, and you're like, wow, they just kind of went in an area where that's really cool.

Kay 19:31

Right. So as an interviewee, which is we're talking to the audience more more from that perspective, you want to you want to make it easy for the interviewer and you want to make sure that they get their questions answered.

Vinita 19:42

Okay. Right. And so I would think that the goal of the behavioral interview is when I'm done talking or interviewing this person, I want to be closer to a decision of if this person can do the job, yep, will be a right fit, yep, can collaborate with the team, etc. Right? Like if if they haven't been able to demonstrate that, then perhaps so right. It could be a problem on either end, though, right? Maybe I didn't ask the right questions, or maybe, yeah.

Kay 20:15

So one of the preparation pieces that I suggest for people, and there's tons of recipes out there. I like simple recipes. So mine has three ingredients the car story, C A R. What was the challenge? What was the action you took, and what was the result or the lessons learned? If you can come up with three, four, five really good car stories that represent some of your experience, but they one car story might demonstrate your leadership skills, your, you know, your teamwork skills and your decision making, for example. And the interviewer asks you a question about leadership, and so you give example A. And then they ask you for a question about decision making. And you've already given A, so you don't want to repeat yourself. So you might say, well, as I mentioned in story A, I've made some great decisions there. Let me give you another story. And you go to story C and you give that one. Because C talked about decision making and three other things, right? And the C would be the challenge. The challenge, right. Okay. Well, the the C here. I was just saying A versus story B versus A. Oh, I'm sorry. I I see. So anyway, but my point is you have a library of these stories, and they all are kind of at the eye level if you think of the library, and these are your stories. Then over time, some of these stories are gonna drop to a lower shelf, and you're gonna have new experiences and new stories that are gonna take their place. So the car stories are really a way to succinctly tell your story because if they're asking you a specific question, give me an example of X, you want to say, here's the example, here's the challenge I had, here are the actions I took, and here's the result. What that recipe does is it keeps The verbose speakers from rambling on and on, and they they they hit it, but it also makes sure that somebody that might just gloss over details actually puts everything in. That's important. Now, one example is I had a client once who had it was a behavior-based interview and thought it was his dream job, knew people at the company, and um at the end of the interview, um I texted him and said, Hey, how did it go? And he texted back, he goes, I don't think I got it. And I said, Really? Why not? And he's like, Well, you know, they didn't ask me story A or story B, my two good car stories. And I said, Well, that's interesting. And the next day he texted me, he goes, I didn't get the job. And I said, Do me a favor, ask for feedback. And you can always ask for feedback. You're there's three types of feedback. You're either gonna get ghosted and get no feedback, you're gonna get polite feedback, which isn't gonna be very helpful, or you're gonna get real feedback. So he got real feedback and they said, everybody loved you, everybody wanted to hire you, but you didn't tell us A or B, like the his two car stories, like whatever those skills were, he didn't demonstrate them. So now one of the things I say to people is if you've got five to seven, 10 minutes left in the interview and you have not yet covered your top car story or something that you really want to share, then I think it's perfectly acceptable to say, excuse me, I see we have a few minutes left. I still have some things I'd like to share. And I'm sure you still have things that you need to ask. What's the most effective way for us to use these last few minutes so we both get our needs met? That's great. Now, yeah, I was gonna say, and if somebody says, Oh, well, you know, I can't believe that they did that. Do you really want to work with somebody like that? Right. But I think again, it's a conversation. An interview is a conversation. Even an interview, a behavior-based interview for a a job is is still a conversation.

Vinita 24:00

Yeah. And it's I love the acronym. Yeah. C-A-RAR, challenge action result or lesson. Can you please just give us an example of what that would look like in an interview?

Ruth 24:13

And just to piggyback on that, my question was going to be can you give us some examples for people who don't have a lot of uh professional experience where they could get those stories?

Kay 24:21

Absolutely. So, for example, someone might say, So can you give me an example of your leadership? And you're in high school. Okay. Now, you can take a sports team, you can take a summer job, and you could say, um, I was a supervisor at the beach, or I was a lifeguard at the beach, didn't even have a supervisory role. And you can say the challenge was it was a really busy day, and um, and we were short staffed. And um there was an emergency. And so the action I took was, you know, I radioed for help. I went and I I helped the, you know, start um resuscitating the patron, for example, and uh the result was the the patron survived, you know. Again, I'm giving it an example. It could be a um a sports team. It could be um, I wasn't the captain of the team, but I took a leadership role and I led the uh warmups every single day. That's great. And um, and people looked to me for leadership even though I didn't have the title. And I was a role model for my um my peers, you know. So the the the challenge was I was looking for leadership opportunity. I didn't have a title, but I found a way to exemplify that. Here were the actions I took, and the results were people respected me and my team.

Vinita 25:41

It could even be, you know, let's just say you don't have an athletic child, or you know, that could even be like a project within a classroom, right? Absolutely.

Kay 25:50

There are lots and lots of project-based um learning going on. And so what was your role on the team? Did you take the leadership role or were you a really good soldier? Were you a really good participant on that team? Right. And what did you do your piece? Did you raise your hand? Did you ask questions? Did you help guide the team in a in a good direction? But being able to articulate what was the challenge, what actions did you take, and what was the result or the the lessons learned, it could be something simple where you had to give one of your, you know, friends feedback on the project. Maybe they weren't doing what they said and they called you and said, could you do my work for me? I don't have time for it. You know, how did you handle that? That's a really sticky situation. Right. And that challenge was I didn't know what to do. So the actions I took, I talked to my parents or I talked to, you know, somebody I trusted to ask for advice. And then this is what I did, and this is how it was handled, and this is how it was resolved. Okay. That helps. That helps a lot.

Vinita 26:51

I love examples like that, you know, because they're real life and we've got so many of those.

Kay 26:55

Okay. So we've talked about the difference between the behavior-based interview and the case-based um interview, and we've been focusing in on the behavior one because that's the one that's really gonna um be faced with most of our listeners. Um the behavior-based interview is really about storytelling, and like the case-based one is more about problem solving. Um, and they both tend to provoke a little bit of anxiety, different anxieties. So the behavior-based one tends to be the emotional, case-based one tends to be performance pressure. So the two of them are looking at different things. When you think about the behavior-based um interview, there's really I again I always break things into three pieces: the before, the during, and the after. And so the before is um preparing. And so when people get really nervous about the interview situation, it's typically because they aren't prepared. They haven't thought through. If they do their homework and they do the preparation, the anxiety will it will melt. I don't know if it will melt completely away, but it will dissipate. And so being prepared is really, really helpful.

Vinita 28:06

So, how do you prepare when you don't know what you'll be asked? What's the best way to prepare for that? You can anticipate questions, right? Absolutely you'll know the role you're applying for. So you can anticipate some.

Kay 28:23

So it's interesting. I have worked with clients who have never interviewed, and I've worked with clients who are re-entering the workforce after decades of not being in it. And I, you can Google now, what are the top 10 behavior-based questions? Right. Um, I've obviously got my list of questions that I've asked historically that I've used when I've trained other people. I've got current information from my friend chat and and and what questions, you know, are perceived to be most relevant. And you know what the job is asking for, right? You know what it's about. So if you actually write out answers to those questions, you know, 10 or 20 questions, you know, the 10 questions that I would ask and the 10 questions that chat would ask, and you you fill those out. Everybody that I have coached has said, oh my gosh, 80% of what they asked me, I had already prepared for. It's on there. It was already on there. Do you know what I mean? So it's not, it's not a huge mystery and it's not rocket science, but you need to be thoughtful and you need to prepare your answers. And you need to, I suggest for people to literally type them out or write them out, but type them out and then say them out loud, not in their head, not pretending like they, but reading the words out loud and to do that multiple times. Because by the that's how you will get to a point where it's natural and it's not overly prescribed or rigid, and it's it's authentic. So the the three main things that I see with people that that derail an interview, one is is being prepared, two is the nerves, and three is bringing your authentic self to the interview. So if we break those down, being prepared in this day and age, how can you not be prepared? Right. We have so many tools. So many tools and resources to um help you get information about the company, the interviewer, um, the team, people who've, you know, have been at the company, how the company's performing, who their competition is. So you can be prepared about them. You can also be prepared about yourself, right? I mean, we've talked about the internal compass from episodes ago, but really knowing who you are, how you're wired up, um, what skills, what strengths you have. Um, so being prepared about the company, being prepared about yourself, and then being prepared for the interview itself by writing out those questions, using that car recipe to frame your answers. And if you practice all of that, it should not be a huge burden to succeed in an interview and to feel confident and comfortable in the interview. Right.

Ruth 31:15

So we're talking about preparing informationally so you know what you're going to say. And I think, Fanita, this is probably more your expertise area. How can you prepare emotionally for the nerves and for being in person? Or for me, one of the big ones is a non-Zoom interview. What am I doing with my hands? That kind of a thing.

Vinita 31:31

Right. You know, I think I would say um well, we talked about planning, right? And you certainly touched on that, the more likely we are rehearsed and um anticipate people's um questions, the more we can prepare for that, the better, I believe, overall we'll we'll feel. I think things like also taking deep breaths, knowing that, hey, changing that narrative or putting that narrative narrative in your head, it is not easy these days to actually get an interview. The fact that the interest was there based on me on paper or or the application, whatever, and the fact that they are taking their time out to interview me is a very good sign. It may not, you know, turn into my favor at the end, but you know, okay, you've said this many times. You know, what's the most you can learn? Or what's the saying you say? What's the worst that can happen? Worst that can happen and the least you can learn. So even if it doesn't go your way, you know, it's still practice, you know. So I think that narrative, you know, and I don't know, sure, this is part of executive functioning, but you know, um, I would say plan, have a have a realistic narrative in your head that look, I'm here, you know, I clearly was somewhat have something to offer for them to want to talk to me. Take your deep breaths and just, you know, say some, you know, just look at things from a standpoint of what can I learn from this?

Kay 33:08

Right. And what I coach my clients to do is find your happy place. So power posing, um, deep breaths, you know, the Rocky Balboa pose or the Superman pose, and do that for two minutes while you're smiling ahead of time. Um, you can do the deep breaths. A friend of mine, her daughter was on her way to an interview, very nervous. It was her dream job, and her mom said, swipe on cute puppies. And so she sat in the back of the cab on the way and swiped on cute puppies and went in and crushed the interview and got the job. So it might be music, it might be listening to music beforehand, it might be, you know, but find your, it might be a walk around nature. It might be take your shoes off and put your feet in the grass and ground yourself. Whatever it is, it gets you to your most calm state so that you can be clear-minded and thoughtful and let your authentic self shine through. I think that's the best. I had a a client once that I was doing a mock interview with, and um he was a great candidate, but I noticed that there were red blotches all over his face and um didn't come up in the interview. There was no need for it to. He was great. And at the end of it, we were talking through and we were going through the being, you know, you were very prepared, and how were your nerves, all this stuff. And I said, now I noticed that there were red blotches. And um, he said, I know that's just how my body reacts. He goes, I'm fine, but my body reacts. And I said, Okay. I said, it's not an issue, but depending if you can sense any discomfort from the interviewer or whatever, you could say, Hey, I'm so excited to be here. Just a heads up. Well, I'm excited and I am present. My body might be doing a funky thing with, you know, reacting. And I sometimes, you know, I get blotchy, but just don't be alarmed. I'm fine. You know, and and and and hit it head on. Um, the other thing is too, make sure that, I mean, you don't have to wear a turtleneck, but you know, do we not have as much, not have as much, you know, skin exposed, perhaps, or something. But my point was just be prepared to talk about things authentically. They're just another person that you're talking to.

Vinita 35:19

So this reminds me, your your red blotch story reminds me of when I first started in the field, and we I would have to present results, you know, on kids that I've evaluated. And, you know, here I am a 24-year-old, 25-year-old telling a parent that, oh, this is how your child thinks and this is how their brain works. And so my voice was so shaky, even though my content was good and I feel like I really describe their child, you know, but my voice was so shaky, and my mentor at the time said, Honey, you're human. You just showed your human side, right? Right. So that's okay to have a red blotchy face because that's what happens.

Kay 36:01

That's human. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. Okay. Um, the other piece, so you know, being prepared, um, calming the nerves, and then bringing your authentic self to the interview. You do those three things and you will crush it. The other thing that I think is super important is how you close the interview. I mean, how you open it's one thing, because you only get one chance to make a first impression. So you want to do that really well. Um, but then how you close it, what kind of questions are you gonna ask? So, what are some smart questions that candidates could potentially ask at the end of an interview? You know, um, how is performance measured and how often? Uh, what's most likely to derail someone in this role? Um, who's been the most successful in this role and why? And then I already I talked about the, I see we've only got a few minutes left and I still have some things. Um so being able to make sure that you use that time wisely and get your stories out. Um, and then do you have the other thing that I end interviews with is do you have any other questions about me or my abilities to do this job well? Because the last thing you want is for the interviewer to go, oh, that was such a lovely conversation with, you know, Ruth, Vanita, Kay, but I just didn't get this. So ask them, do you have everything? Like, do you have I know you've got a checklist there, do you have all your boxes checked? Is there something where you're like, oh, I don't know if she really demonstrated that? Um, and just and ask. Um and then um, I mean, I mean, the any one of those kind of questions, you may have your own questions that you that you're curious about. And it's really about, you know, being curious at the end. If they say, Do you have any questions? and and you say, No, I think I'm good, that to me says they're not prepared. They're not really interested. They're phoning it in. Like they're not really interested. Because if you really wanted this, you would probably have 10 questions.

Vinita 37:53

Is there any questions that interviewees should not ask?

Kay 37:59

Yeah, I was gonna say I I wouldn't go anywhere near salary. I wouldn't go you you're really, depending on what stage of the process you're in, um, I would really focus on fit. You want to know, is this job a fit for you based on all the conversations you've had? Is this a place you can see yourself? Are you gonna thrive here? Um, does the culture match? And are the values in alignment? Is the work interesting to you? Is the team interesting to you? And they're trying to do the same thing to see are you gonna fit with them? And so that's why you need to be authentic, because if you present as something or someone else and they're like, oh my gosh, this person would be great, and you get in there and that's not really who you are, not only are they gonna be frustrated and disappointed that they didn't figure that out in the interview, but you're gonna probably be miserable too. So it really does pay to be authentic and to do that. So in terms of not asking questions, that to me is the the biggest one is to just not go near the salary and that kind of stuff until it's appropriate, which is very much later in the process. Right. Okay.

Ruth 39:05

And any advice for getting to that authentic self, loosening up and being a profession professional version of the real you.

Kay 39:12

Yeah, I I do believe that if you have done the work up front with the internal compass and you can really articulate what your strengths are and um you know what your interests are and you know what you're able to bring to the team and your examples, your car stories line up with those. And again, you take your deep breaths before you go in and you you calm yourself to the extent you can. I think that's gonna shine through. That's what you want is for your personality, your energy, who you are to shine through. Um, and the other thing is too, you want your words and music to match. So, for example, you don't want to say, Hi, I'm really energetic. You know what I mean? Like you want it. Yeah, I mean, you the words and music have to match, whatever it is you're talking about. So it's like, hey, I tend to be really high energy, which I know can maybe be a little off-putting, but I I match my energy to my audience. You know, I'm aware enough to match my energy to the audience, for example. But my energy is naturally going to come through in an interview, right?

Vinita 40:10

And I do think that these interferences that we're talking about, right, you know, I think with practice, rehearsal, prepping, planning become less interfering. You know, so so I do think that, you know, when we think about, you know, research the company, research the interviewer, knowledge is power. You know, absolutely. And and so, so go into it when you're Ruth, when you're asking about executive from an executive functioning standpoint, how to really prepare, do the research, and you know, that self-monitoring skill, that that little conversation, that little itty bitty voice you have in your head, like that self-evaluative piece. How am I doing? Is is my is my breath so labored? Slow it down, you know, you can do both at once. You can listen and still monitor how you are being perceived by other people in these high-stakes moments.

Ruth 41:02

And speaking of self-monitoring, one of the best things I've ever done for myself as just a business communicator person is watching myself recorded. Um during the pandemic, I was recording all my Zoom interviews just for my personal um review. And that really helped because when you're experiencing something, you're experiencing what you're actually saying and what the other people are saying, but you're also experiencing all your thoughts. Um, so having an objective record where you can say, oh, I felt like I paused for 10 seconds and was thinking about all these things, but it was actually a split second and I looked fine, can really build your confidence.

Vinita 41:35

Right, right. That's a that's a great tip is evaluate yourself with the actual data in front of you.

Kay 41:42

Absolutely. No, that's funny because I was going to end with what tips would you leave our listeners with? And so that's a that's a great one. I don't know if anybody else has. I mean, for me, the one is remember that it's two humans having a conversation.

unknown 41:57

Yeah.

Kay 41:57

And that, you know, they are somebody's child and they may be somebody's parent. I don't know. But that I mean, they are a human. And so just have the conversation. Right.

Vinita 42:07

And and I I would say that just flip the narrative to, well, hey, I've got an interview. This is a good thing. This is a good thing. And then just monitor how you think you're doing along the way and prep.

Kay 42:24

And I would also, we didn't touch as much on it, but the post-interview, make sure that you follow up with a thank you note. Um, at least send an email immediately. Um, if you want to, again, score points, go ahead and write a handwritten note and surprise the heck out of the other person. Um, but take notes, like think back, do your own debrief on it in your, you know, in your head and think what went really well? What things can you celebrate? Celebrate the successes. What questions did you feel really comfortable answering? You're proud of your answers, and which ones maybe did you stumble on? And then write those down and come up with a better answer for the next time you get asked that question.

unknown 43:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:03

It's all learning.

Kay 43:03

Yeah, it's it's all learning. So I would encourage our audience that if you have really tough interview questions or something that you're maybe afraid about answering or how to answer, you can go to our website and you can drop us a line. And um, during season two, as we do deeper dives in some of these topics, um, you might hear your question on the air. Yes. All right. Well, thank you. This is great.

Vinita 43:25

And as always, we will have a handout online on our website, netcollective.org. Until next time. If today's conversation resonated with you, please share this episode with anyone who may need it and follow us at netcollective.org or wherever you get your podcasts so you don't miss what's next. We are Netcollective, navigating everything together, one conversation at a time. Thanks for listening.