Episode 17 | Body Image Issues Start at Age 5 — What Parents Can Do Right Now

Episode 17 | Body Image Issues Start at Age 5 — What Parents Can Do Right Now

Here's something that stops parents in their tracks when I say it in clinic: body image concerns can show up as early as age 5. Not 13. Not even 10. Five.

That means by the time most of us think we need to start "the conversation," our kids have already been building a relationship with their bodies for years — shaped by what they hear, what they see, and what happens around food at home.

This episode isn't about fear. It's about getting ahead of it — with science, not pressure.

I'm a pediatrician and dietitian with 30 years of asking questions about how kids relate to food and their bodies. Body image is not a topic I can leave to chance, and I don't think you should either. The good news? The research on prevention is actually really hopeful. Small, consistent shifts in language and environment make a meaningful difference — and you don't need to be a therapist to make them.

In this episode we cover:

• When body image awareness actually starts (the research will surprise you)
• What puts kids at higher risk — and it's not what most people assume
• Specific language shifts to make at the table and in front of the mirror
• How to talk about bodies, food, and movement in ways that build respect, not fear
• The signs that tell you it's time to ask your pediatrician for a referral

Book Recommendation:

Your Body is Awesome by Sigrun Danielsdottir, Illustrated by Bjork Bjarkadottir

→ Save this episode. Share it with the parents in your life who have kids under 10. This is the one to get to them before they need it.

NEW COURSE! "Read the Pattern: Feeding Your Baby 0–4 Months" — because a healthy relationship with food starts earlier than most people think. Course Link!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

This is a conversation to start well before you think you need to. Your child is already receiving messages about bodies and food. Some of those messages are coming from you, and some of them are completely unintentional. Accidental even. A sigh in front of the mirror, a comment about food being bad, a comment about food being junk, or an offhand remark about needing to be good this week, or at a holiday party, somebody else commenting about why they can't have that. They hear all of it and they're building a story from it. The question is: what story do you want them building? Welcome to the Nutrition for the Early Years podcast with Dr. Liz, your guilt-free guidance for feeding your family. This podcast is for folks who are craving better nutrition for their kids, but are tired of the whiplash of nutrition claims and diet culture influence. You're reading labels, paying attention to ingredients, but you still doubt yourself. And for good reason, food goes deep, and often we fear making costly mistakes that as parents we hope to prevent. If you're ready to explore the ins and outs of your child's actual nutrition needs and nourish the whole child from the inside out, hang with me, Dr. Liz Daniels. I'm a board-certified pediatrician plus registered dietitian, and we're gonna dig deep into real deal nutrition science, honest talk about barriers to health, and real stories that I help address. So let's dig in. Let me talk to you for a second. Because if you're listening to this podcast, there's a good chance you're already doing the research. You're reading the articles, you have all the apps, and you're still not sure if what you're seeing is normal or if something is off. The uncertainty, that 2 a.m. Google spiral, that same conversation you've had 12 times with your partner. That's exactly why I built Read the Pattern. And this is my course on feeding your baby in the first four months. Without the overwhelm, without the conflicting advice, and without the shame. You'll lock away knowing how to read your baby's cues, understand their patterns, and trust what you're seeing. The course has six modules, about two plus hours of content, and a downloadable guide with scripts that you can use to help guide you through some of the most stressful but yet beautiful days of your early infant's life. Because you'll finally have a framework that makes sense. One course, one clear lens, and you'll use it every single day for these first four months. The link is in the show notes. If you've been on the fence, this is me telling you you're ready. Go register. Hey friends, welcome back to Nutrition for the Early Years. I'm your host, Dr. Liz Daniels. And today we're doing something a little different. Last week we talked about interception. It's the skill of listening to what your body is telling you. And if you haven't heard that episode, go back and listen because today builds on it really importantly and beautifully. But even if this is your first time here, you're gonna get a lot out of today. We are gonna talk about body gratitude. And I want you to hear that, not as something soft or secondary. Body gratitude is genuinely protective. It's one of the things I think about as a pediatrician and a dietitian, and as someone who has experienced her own complicated history with her body. Like many other people I know, it starts way earlier than most people think. Here's something I want to say before we go any further. Body image concerns can show up in children as young as five to seven years old. Not because something has gone wrong, not because they've been exposed to something terrible, or because people have bullied them. Yes, those things can happen, but this happens to a lot of kids when they're little just because they're paying attention. They watch bodies, theirs, yours, other people's, they absorb comments, they hear the unspoken things too. Kids are really smart. And that's actually why I want to frame this episode the way that I do. This is a conversation to start well before you think you need to. Some of those messages are coming from you, and some of them are completely unintentional, accidental even. A sigh in front of the mirror, a comment about food being bad, a comment about food being junk, or an offhand remark about needing to be good this week, or at a holiday party, somebody else commenting about why they can't have that. They hear all of it, and they're building a story from it. The question is, what story do you want them building? And can we get intentional about it before the playground gets loud, before their friends start talking, a sibling says something offhand, before social media gets in the way, or before comparisons are being met in earnest? The answer is yes. And body gratitude is how I like to start that. I want to name something I see parents wrestling with constantly. There's this cultural pendulum. On one side, there's diet culture, restriction, appearance-based shame, and on the other, this version of body positivity that sometimes swings so far it forgets we actually need to take care of ourselves. And parents are left standing right in the middle, going, I don't want to shame my kid, but I also don't want to have like no standards. I want them to be healthy. How do I talk with them about sounding like criticism? Especially if you're a parent who's also on a GLP one and your kid wants to understand why. Or you are constant, or you're you're tracking your blood glucose or other things that they see on a regular basis. I think body gratitude is a center in the middle of this pendulum. Body because gratitude for what our bodies do for us is neither shaming nor permissive. It's motivating. It says, I love this body. And because I love it, I want to take care of it. I want to feel good. Not out of fear, not because of how it looks or it fits into clothing, but out of appreciation for what it does. That reframe can change everything about how health behaviors feel. So I want to tell you about a mom I sa recently. She came in with her daughter for her seven-year-old checkup, and she was kind of wound tight from the moment she walked in. And I could tell something was on her mind that she didn't want to talk about in front of her daughter. Luckily, one of my staff was able to sort of keep her interested in a coloring page for a minute so we could chat. And before I could go any further, as soon as the door closed, she just bubbled out. She's in a really big family, and she'd had some cousins recently that had outgrown clothes. And since she was little, she'd been receiving hand-me-downs from her cousin for a while, which has always been really fun and something she looked forward to because this seven-year-old loved her cousins and wanted to be just like them. But this time, the hand-me-downs didn't fit. And it was this moment of feeling like she was really sad because she was looking forward to being able to wear her cousin's clothes and now this moment of a realization where she was seven, but she didn't fit in size seven clothes. And she always had thought that your size was the age you were in. And it became this whole conversation about clothing and our bodies and fitting. And her mom had no idea this was going to happen this young. And she thought, I don't even know how to prepare her. And you know, the funny thing is, her seven-year-old is perfectly healthy. She's growing beautifully on her curve, and there's nothing wrong with that. And guess what? Her cousins, they're also healthy. They just have different shaped bodies. So where do we begin and where do we talk about this in a way that feels good, but also can explore the differences with appreciation. But this is where I want to remind you about last week's episode. Because if you can relate to this kind of experience yet maybe have a little different ending and feel like, well, my kid maybe isn't in the growth curve in a great way, or there are behaviors that are concerning to me, then go back and listen to that one. Because if there are feeding behaviors that are concerning to you and you want to help your kid, you want to understand if your kid is sensing hunger well, or if they are sort of eating out of boredom or other things, and you need to explore interoception a little bit more, go back and listen to that episode because I think it'll give you a better framework for where we go from here. Because it also rounds out the question of appreciation, meaning we can appreciate what our bodies are doing for us and still make changes to understanding how it feels on the inside. But today's conversation is gonna lean in not so much on that interoception side, not on the side about the feeling on the inside and fullness and hunger cues, but about appreciating how amazing and complex our bodies are, and how they can be healthy in lots of different ways. Now, here's a story a lot of you mamas can probably relate to too. I had pre-clampsy with my first son, and I in that time gained about 40 extra pounds of fluid on top of everything else my body was managing. It was a lot. And after I'd finally diuresed it all, which took weeks, I decided to go shopping. Things don't fit quite the same way they did in maternity clothes, and I just thought I need to get out of the house and do something, and I'm just gonna go to Target. I was not ready for what I was about to experience. Nothing fit. Like, nothing. And mind you, I had like actually gone pretty close to my weight pre-pregnancy-ish. And again, it's not about the weight, but that's the point. I was expecting that weight to sort of mean something, but when I was in this whole new body postpartum, the numbers totally irrelevant, right? Like nothing fit. And I don't just mean sizes were weird because women's clothing is stupid. I meant that I stood in the dressing room under these fluorescent lights, you know the ones that are incredibly shaming, looking at this body that I just didn't feel I recognized. Yet I had handled pre-eclampsia and survived it without seizures and help syndrome, thank goodness. I was also exclusively nursing my son at the time, which was amazing. I was also somebody who had moved to a new city just 10 weeks before then with a pretty small support system, and had entered medical school and was a full-time student, had six days off postpartum, and had to go back into medical school, had a fourth degree tear, and I was doing all of that, and my baby was growing, and somehow I was still passing my classes and doing all this stuff. And there I was, standing in front of this mirror and feeling like my worth was somehow not enough in a body that just had actually done amazing things for me. That disconnect between what an incredible job my body had done and all the things that it was capable of, and how I felt about it. So, what did I do? Well, I left Target with a brand new hat and a new purse because those were the only things that fit. And you know, I think about that moment often because what I needed at that moment in time wasn't to be a smaller size or to find some beautiful outfit. I just needed to say to myself, look at what your body did. This is incredible. And look at what it's still doing now. Your legs that walk, your brain that thinks, your body that keeps going without your permission. And it really wasn't until I was leader in my rotations, seeing other moms experience some of the traumas of childbirth and postpartum life that I seemingly escaped. That's when it finally clicked, how amazing my body was. My body totally deserved a thank you. It took me a lot longer to get there than I would like to admit. And we all still have to practice it today because we're still aging. I'm still going through changes and feeling like I'm learning about my body and having to appreciate it once again. But I did choose it. And I know that the way I talk about my body is the water my kids swim in. And I want them feeling good about themselves too. So where I want to land here is that I can completely relate to this feeling that this seven-year-old had in my office. And I understand how complicated this conversation was for this mom because she didn't really feel prepared for it. It came much sooner than she thought. And today I'm hoping that some of the tools I offer you might prepare you more than what I received, more than what this mama had had at that moment in time. One of those is sort of a body scan exercise. Another is a book I really like to reference in my office. But there are way more than just the two I'm going to suggest today. And if you have tools that you have loved, share them with me. Send them to me in my DMs because this is an opportunity for us as a community of moms to support each other and empower our kids with gratitude and appreciation. Another time I noticed this and was really grateful was the time I woke up one day and I'm suddenly deaf in my left ear. Not making this up, it's a true story. And I suddenly became really grateful for the other ear and have since been incredibly grateful for my vision, for my movement, for my ability to digest food, for my ability to breathe. And the longer that you practice medicine, the more appreciative you are of how resilient our bodies are. I talk with my patients about my cochlear implant, and I want them to know that if they notice it about me, it's not something to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. Parents often feel embarrassed if kids bring it up, and I love it because this is how we can say thank you to what our bodies can do for us. We notice the things when they're not automatic. So if your child's noticing something about their body that they don't like, or about your body and you don't like how it feels, this can be an opportunity to practice gratitude. And when we do, we suddenly become more aware of the things that our bodies are continuing to do for us. And then in that gratitude, we can make decisions on how to be healthy and take good care of it. Because I only have one good ear now, I really protect my right ear. I actually wear hearing protection when I go to church or music events. I'm really conscientious of if I'm gonna be using heavy equipment like my lawn equipment. I protect my hearing. I protect my eyes when I'm out in the sun, I protect my skin when I'm out in the sun. We learn to appreciate our bodies, and then that can lead us to protecting them. And I think that when it's time for our kids to be healthy, this is the reset that can really be empowering. So let's talk about a body scan exercise. This is like a practical piece, and you and I actually want you to try this. This kind of works best at bedtime when your kids naturally want you to be with them anyway. And lights will be down low, you've read your book, it's quiet, and you just say, okay, let's let's do something kind of funny. Let's thank our bodies for everything that they did today. And you think about it top to bottom, morning to evening. Make it specific and objective, not evaluative. Not you have such strong legs or pretty smile. Just my legs helped me walk to the bus today. Thank you, legs. Here's how it could sound roughly. My eyes could see all the way across the playground today. Thank you, eyes. My ears heard my teacher and understood what she said. Thank you, ears. My mouth helped me taste my snack today. What did your snack taste like today? Mine had that crunchy thing that I love. Thank you, mouth. My belly. It worked all day to break down my food and turn it into energy so I could run. That's kind of amazing when you think about it. Thank you, belly. My legs helped me run at Rhesus. Thank you, legs. My arms gave you a hug today. Thank you, arms. You don't have to do every body part every time. You don't have to do it every night. Even just a few times a month can build something real over time of this recognition, and then you can build on that and even talk more specifically about the science behind it. Kids are so curious about their bodies. This is a beautiful opportunity to help explore what they do and how we care for them. And here's why objective language matters, okay? Quick thing I want to explain because it does matter in how this lands. And this is something that you can share with loved ones who maybe didn't grow up in your same generation or who have a different perspective on their bodies that you want to encourage. Okay? There's a difference between objective and subjective body language. Subjective sounds like you have such beautiful legs. The kid hears, so they might not be beautiful someday, or they weren't before, or what's not beautiful in my body. Objective feels like your legs ran really far today. The kid hears, I see what my body did. That's real. That's mine. Objective language connects appreciation to function, not appearance. And that's the foundation of a body image that can withstand a lot, including whatever is coming at them on the playground or at a holiday party from somebody else. So here's something that I love for this exact conversation. This book called Your Body is Awesome. This book is one of my favorites. If you're listening to this, it'll be linked in the show notes for you. What I appreciate about this book is that it celebrates what bodies can do and what they look like without making appearance the point. It naturally reinforces so much of what we have already talked about today. And it celebrates that body diversity in a way that feels joyful, not like a lesson or a lecture. And it's written for kids who are in exactly this developmental window, like that five to eight range when these messages really can start to land. It's the kind of book that you can leave on your nightstand and your kid will pick up on their own. And those are the best resources because the ones that they go to are the ones that keep working after you've put it down. So before I wrap up, I want to say something directly to you. This exercise, the body scan, the thank you practice, this is not just for your kids. It's for you too. If you're postpartum, if you are in a season where your body has changed and you don't quite recognize yourself, if you're carrying your own history with food and body image into this parenting role, this practice can be medicine for you too. When you start to see your body as something working for you, even when it's tired, even when it doesn't look the way you want, you build a foundation for care that isn't rooted in shame. And your kids will absorb that. They watch how you treat your own body, and that becomes the water they swim in. You can't shame yourself into being a better parent or a healthier parent or a smarter parent or a happier parent. None of that. You can love yourself into being the parent that you wanted to be. Go hug your kiddos and thank your body for being able to do that. If this episode resonated with you, please share it. And I would love it if you took a minute to rate and review the podcast. It genuinely helps this content reach more families who need it. You can find me at newstory nutrition.com or on Instagram. I'll see you guys next week.