Finding Calm Through Practical Nervous System Tools

Summary
In this insightful interview, Hailey, a psychic nervous system coach, shares her journey from corporate to coaching, the importance of nervous system regulation, and how retreats can facilitate healing. Discover practical tools for managing stress, trauma, and emotional overwhelm, and learn why authentic lived experience is vital for effective teaching.


Takeaways
Nervous system regulation and its impact on health
Trauma response and brain pathways
Tools for emotional and stress management
The role of retreats in healing and growth
Authentic lived experience as a teaching foundation



Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Healing and Transformation
01:24 The Journey from Corporate to Coaching
02:53 Understanding Emotional Healing
06:15 The Science of Trauma and Healing
09:12 The Importance of Lived Experience
10:56 Overwhelm and Societal Expectations
13:48 The Role of Self-Care in Healing
14:07 The Power of Retreats for Healing
17:29 Conclusion and Call to Action
21:23 RR.Gift.RetreatRnR.com.mp4



🔗 Connect with Hailey Coleman
📧 Email: hc.spiritualmedium.lifecoach@gmail.com
📩 Alternative Email: hc.lifecoach@outlook.com
🌐 Website: www.hailey-coleman.com
📸 Instagram: @live.empower
🔗 Instagram Link: https://www.instagram.com/live.empower/




🔗 Connect with Holly Porter | Retreat RNR 
📧 Email: holly@hollyporter.com 
🔗 LinkedIn: Holly Porter | Retreat RNR 
🎵 TikTok: @retreatrnr 
▶️ YouTube: @retreatrnr 
📸 Instagram: @retreatrnr | @hollyporterinternational 
📘 Facebook: HollyAnnPorter

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to All Things Retreat Podcast. I'm Holly Porter, your host and CEO of Retreat R. With over 25 years of experience in designing transformative retreats. I'm here to share insights and inspiration to help you create extraordinary experiences. Whether you're a pro or just starting out, you'll find valuable ideas here. Enjoy the ride. Let's dive in. Hi everyone. Welcome to the show today. We're so happy that you're here and we are going to be speaking about some more retreat stuff today. Imagine that. Haley Coleman, also known as a psychic nervous system coach, she helps overwhelm high-achieving women and adults move from stress, anxiety, and emotional chaos to clarity, calm, and self-trust by blending nervous system regulation with intuitive psychic insight. Welcome to the show, Haley. Thank you, Holly. I'm excited. I love this. So I know you've recently made a big change in your life going from corporate over to this. Like, how's that feeling so far?

SPEAKER_00 1:05

Um it was super scary because I have three kids and I am a sing full-time single parent. It was a leap of faith, but it's been amazing. So we're two months out of corporate, and it's something I've been talking about for honestly like two years.

SPEAKER_01 1:18

So it's good. Well, I just love when people realize they're made for more, and working for someone else isn't always the way to go for everybody. Some people it is, and for some people we need that, right? We we need those doctors and accountants and dentists, and we need all that, but people making bigger decisions. But sometimes it's just nice to like reach out and go out on your own. So I'm proud of you. So that's really exciting. And oh, of course, I'm wishing you all the best in all your endeavors. But let's jump into some questions. Are you ready for a few? Yeah, hit me. All right. What do you wish every woman knew about healing from emotional abuse?

SPEAKER_00 1:58

It is not linear. I mean, I'm years into it, and I got hit with a trigger today from a question from a friend who is so genuine and kind and loving. And their question was so like out of a space of love, and someone, a previous partner, had asked me the same thing, and it it set off a whole trigger in me. And I was like, you know what, that sucks. But I do because I do the work and it's you know, it's easy for me to get back into it. Like it really only threw me off for about 45 minutes, uh, which is amazing. Because in the past it would throw me off for days. So do the inner work, hire that coach, you know, like learn how to regulate your nervous system because my triggers in the past would be honestly like days of feeling like crap or having that eggshell, panic, what if? And now it's like probably down to an hour or less because I'm able to like snap out of it. And I don't know, women take on so much.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

Tell me a little bit more. So tell me, like for you, since you brought it up, what was it? Like, what did you do? What was that process that you did for yourself to get you out of it?

SPEAKER_00 3:16

So I'm clinically trained in cognitive behavioral therapy, and that for your audience, if you're unaware, is retraining your mindset, retraining your brain, retraining your thought process. So I have the tools to be able to reset my mind, reset my thoughts, allow myself those moments to feel it because it's important to feel it, to feel like crap for a little bit, because it's like, thank you, universe, for showing me that this is something that still needs to be worked on. So, triggers I always find are little blessings from the universe to allow us to like work on self. But for me, yeah, it was retraining my mindset with words. So talking to myself and resetting that pathway, resetting my thoughts and processes, and then doing some breath work as well.

SPEAKER_01 4:06

So important. Yeah, I love that. Well, my nervous system's shot from having long COVID, you know. Um, I'm not afraid to ever say, you know, I spent 70 days in the hospital with COVID and got long COVID and all kinds of other health issues because of it. And I was perfectly healthy going in. So it's just learning those tools and those they're so important for people to understand. And, you know, we can't learn everything on our own. Nobody does everything on their own, and sometimes it's just that. What I call the surrender piece in my book is is surrender first that you need to understand that we all need help and then look for the right places to get it. Because there are definitely the wrong places too. But yeah, how do you think stress or trauma block our intuition and what actually happens in the body when we can't hear ourselves clearly?

SPEAKER_00 4:50

As a trauma response, our brain actually shuts down a lot of parts of itself in order to survive the day-to-day stuff. So, what do we need for day-to-day? We need to move our body, we need to have a functioning heart so that our organs and body can function, we need to breathe, we need to have like to be able to speak and hear like our senses, but it doesn't allow us to do all the extra things. So if we're stuck in survival, we really do and can struggle with intuition, uh, the creative side. Maybe some people say I'm lacking finding my purpose or I don't feel a lot of joy right now. Um, I hear a lot of my clients say, you know, I'm just trekking through the day, like every day is the same, you know, and it's just like a mundane approach to life, and it's it's because our brain is protecting ourselves, our brain is just trying to have us survive. Yeah, and once we understand that, like you're not broken. You're not, you are under stress, and it's actually your body's trying to fix itself, and a lot of people say, Well, I'm I feel feel like I'm broken. Yeah, but it's the opposite. No, your body's rebuilding and rebooting itself so that it can fix itself again, so it shuts down the things that we don't essentially need in the moment. And I love trying to retrain my clients' brains and thoughts around the fact that we're not broken, it's actually fascinating that our brain can do this. And it's also so scientifically fascinating that when we do start to heal, our brain actually produces new pathways. And it's so cool. So when you're feeling like that, or you feel lost, or you feel like you're on edge, or you're just maxed out, and you're not having your purpose, your sparkle's lost, your drive for life is lost. Please reframe the wording from broken to I'm fixing myself.

SPEAKER_01 6:58

Yeah. Of course, correct.

SPEAKER_00 7:00

It just even that switch just kind of takes that anxiety off of like what's wrong with me? That's like you're stressed, so your body's trying to show it. So switch that mindset. My body's helping me, my body's talking to me.

unknown 7:15

Right.

SPEAKER_00 7:15

It's a really a really great way to like switch that mindset.

SPEAKER_01 7:20

Yeah, so true. So true. Well, I know there's a lot of high achievers, um, a lot of retreat leaders that are listening. They're high achievers, they're they're busy people, they're helping others, but a lot of times we tend to teach what we went through. We the trauma we went through that we corrected, we tend to now specialize in things like that. And so I'm sure that's kind of true for you as well. Would it would that be?

SPEAKER_00 7:43

Absolutely. Like I went on this journey to become a national coach and um a keynote speaker to speak on regulating our nervous system because I went through lived through trauma.

SPEAKER_01 7:56

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:57

My kids and I went through hell and back. And it was in those moments that I was like, I want to learn. So I want to understand my body and my mind so that I can pull myself out of this dark hole, so I can help my kids pull themselves out, so I can help others pull themselves out. And I dove deep into education so I could have science, evidence-based data backing it up, research backing it up, so that I knew that what I was speaking about was also backed up by science. But it also brings that extra layer, like like with you and your healing journey and your COVID stuff and hospital stuff and you know, your near-death experience, like that brings a new layer to how we talk to others, to how we see others, how we want to help others. Because it's like if you're wanting to teach a marathon, well, have you ever ran a marathon? If the coach says no, I'm like, I don't want to hire you. Yeah. Yeah. Right? So it's it's the same thing. It's like I I pride myself in going through that dark time and that live through trauma so that I can help others.

SPEAKER_01 9:06

It's like people teaching parenting classes that don't have any children. I always think that is hilarious, especially young, young 20-year-olds teaching these parenting classes. I'm like, oh, were you thinking? It's like, there's nothing better than lived experience, other than I shouldn't say it's better because when it's traumatic and and things like that, I mean, yeah, it's hell. But it's come out the other end, right? And uh and then and then you're able to. Uh, we were having another show the other day, and I was mentioning how one thing retreat leaders need to remember is don't be doing retreats on something that you haven't come through the other end on yet. So not just the experience, but when you're in it is more. So I'm talking more that like it's the same with the speaker. I I watched a really, really good speaker, but they were talking about something they weren't through yet. Like they weren't at the other end, and so you kind of crumble, you kind of fall apart. And it's like there's one thing with vulnerability, but then there's another. It's like, no, don't, don't, you don't want to tear everything open in front of an audience at a retreat on a stage, yeah. You've learned and you've you've got the lessons out of that, and now you can now you're teaching it instead of being in it.

SPEAKER_00 10:17

You know, it's the problem solution method, right? Like we had this problem, you and I, it was our tough trauma, but we've come out with a solution.

SPEAKER_01 10:27

Yeah, yeah. And that's how you have the solution, don't teach, don't teach it.

SPEAKER_00 10:32

Right? And that's that's the biggest thing is like the solution because I walk the walk and so do you. It's like we're here, we're doing better, we're helping others, we're speaking on it, and it's because we've been through it and we've made it through, and we're better now than we were before.

SPEAKER_01 10:51

Well, and we continue to learn and grow. That's that's part of life, is just getting through things so that we we can be an example to others. It doesn't to become an expert, I mean, what is it, 10,000 hours? I mean, it's a lot, and so it's like you're constantly in that learning stage, growing stage, but yeah, it's just I mean, that's how we get experts, you know? So absolutely. Why do so many women feel overwhelmed, disconnected, and exhausted? And what do you think is the root cause behind that?

SPEAKER_00 11:22

Um society, generational, the amount of hats they wear in terms of roles and needs, and you know, if you're a mother, then you have that extra layer of children pulling at you constantly for all their needs. A lot of our society is like, you know, career growth and do more and more education and more, more, more. And then if there's kids involved, it's like sports and all these things and extracurriculars. And on top of that, you have a home. And whether that's a big home or a small home, the needs are still there for maintenance and dishes and cleaning and laundry. And we gotta cook for our family, and we also have to try to keep it together mentally and emotionally, and add a partner in there as well. Then you want to be a good partner, you want to be a great friend. Like, there's so many things. I don't think society gives women enough credit. I'm seeing it now, like more and more with social media, like women's rights and and different things like that. And a lot of women are now speaking out on how much they they do accomplish and the lack of praise they get from society. And it's yeah, yeah. It's it's it's exciting the times we're in because I do see, and I'm sure you see it too, a lot of like boss women just like kicking ass in life and like speaking out about it. But I think deep down we also need to give ourselves grace and still do the healing work in terms of regulating our emotions. So we can't be our best selves in society or our families or with our friends if we don't put ourselves first.

SPEAKER_01 13:14

Absolutely. Yeah. I always say it's it's like putting the oxygen mask on for you to bring. You can't help someone else until until you help yourself. In fact, that brings uh Rotary International, I was part of for many years, and I was president and stuff of that group, and their motto, Service Above Self, but guess what? It was created by a bunch of men in 1911, and it's like what's like they need to go back to the table and rebrand a little because service above self is not where it's at.

SPEAKER_00 13:43

Yeah, no, no, and you know, we learn it the hard way. Like years ago, I poured everything into my kids and my partner and all the things, and the but then I burnt out, yeah, and I was like, wait a sec, I need to be selfish and do things for myself so that I can show up to be my best version. And it truly does looking back, it does start with regulating our nervous system and being our best selves because that energy also trickles into our inner circle, friends, family, kids.

SPEAKER_01 14:17

100%.

SPEAKER_00 14:18

It's so important.

SPEAKER_01 14:20

So moving into retreats, why do you think retreats are so uh like such a powerful environment for nervous system healing?

SPEAKER_00 14:29

Because whether you are a wellness retreat or a corporate treat, retreat coming together to do bonding, you know, there's so many reasons for retreats. But the common denominator is you're bringing people together so that they can learn and grow and prosper as a group. You're bringing in different speakers, different individuals for your retreats to teach this group of individuals, personal development, professional development, whatever it may be. And it's such a powerful room of people and energies that I think it would be would be silly to not have a grounding technique involved, whether you're corporate or wellness. I'm gonna boldly say that I think even corporate at the best of times needs some stress response in there. Like we were really struggling in the corporate world to have that wellness component for the employees. And I think by having an individual come in and do grounding breath work and energy techniques to do before the retreat starts, at the end of the day, maybe movement and breath work in between during the day so that you're not stagnant is only gonna better every single individual in there.

SPEAKER_01 15:47

Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Um why do you think in a retreat setting, though, that this could maybe be more fast paced than just sitting in everyday life? Like just regulating your nervous system. Like, how do you think that would work better in a retreat setting?

SPEAKER_00 16:05

I just feel that, you know, we're getting a bunch of individuals together to learn and grow. So are we why not teach them how to regulate the most prominent system in their body? If we don't have a regulated nervous system, a lot of other things fall apart in our lives, whether that's our personal or professional growth, our mental health deteriorates, our physical health deteriorates. It is crucial to have a regulated nervous system. We are seeing evidence that states that long-term unregulated nervous systems with the high cortisol levels are creating fatal chronic conditions in our health, fatal mental health conditions. It is scary. And it is such a simple thing to teach and do on the dailies. Why not teach them in masses at the retreat? You're getting how many people in one room, and now you can come in and teach that a mass amount of people a simple technique or tool so that they can be their best selves that not only protects their health, but their wellness, their mental health, their physical health, and just them being a best version of themselves.

SPEAKER_01 17:24

Absolutely. Well, there's so many, so many ways, but you know, the bottom line is definitely I'm a component of retreats. That's a great way to do some self-care. Put yourself first, think about how you can regulate yourself. And I think a retreat's a great, great place to learn those things. I know that you are willing to come and go to retreats and help teach there and participate. So I want our listeners to know that and understand that. And we'll have your information in the show notes too, so that they'll be able to contact you and get a hold of you. And as we launch the International Retreat Association here in a couple weeks, uh, we'll eventually, not right away, we're brand new, but we'll have places to connect people on there so they can look and find people. But because you're on our show, you're gonna have that in the show notes. They'll be able to contact you. I just want to finish up with I usually do some rapid fire just for fun so they can get to know you and your personality a little bit more. There's no right or wrong answer, just the first top line answer or one sentence that comes through. You ready? Let's do it. Okay, morning person or night, Al.

SPEAKER_00 18:30

Morning, bright eyed and like ready to go.

SPEAKER_01 18:34

Love it. Coffee, tea, or matcha?

SPEAKER_00 18:36

Coffee, one cup.

SPEAKER_01 18:38

Beach retreat or mountain retreat.

SPEAKER_00 18:43

That's tough. Because mountains would be nice on a sunny day. Uh, but beach.

SPEAKER_01 18:48

Beach? Alright. Silence or music when you need a reset.

SPEAKER_00 18:52

Silence.

SPEAKER_01 18:53

Alright. Intuition or logic first. Intuition, always. Your go-to nervous system reset in under five minutes.

SPEAKER_00 19:03

My alternative nasal breathing.

SPEAKER_01 19:05

One word your client uses to describe working with you. Favorite way to ground yourself quickly.

SPEAKER_00 19:10

Alternative nasal breathing.

SPEAKER_01 19:12

If your intuition had a voice, what would it sound like? Keep going. One thing you wish that you could tell your younger self. Don't doubt yourself. Yeah, I love that.

SPEAKER_00 19:25

Any last words you'd like to leave our listeners? I think nervous system work is critical for any single human, to be honest. I boldly say that out loud. You cannot be your best self if you do not have a regulated nervous system. So yeah, I am a keynote speaker. I've spoken to huge mass audiences. Love doing keynote speaking. And I would absolutely be honored to be at some retreats teaching, even in the corporate retreats. Like I firmly believe that corporate needs to start bringing in wellness more and more. But yeah, like I'm excited. This is a whole new chapter of retreats and the association you're bringing on. And I'm really excited to see the growth from all of it. So yeah, you can reach me. I created a landing page uh for podcasts. So it's www.haley. I'll put your name and email and a comment of what you want to chat about. I privately message you back. Yeah, love it. Let's just get the conversation started. Let's just heal the masses, whether you're corporate or wellness.

SPEAKER_01 20:32

Well, thank you so much for being on the show. We'll make sure that links in the show notes as well. And until next time, everybody, join us again for the podcast. We'll see you again. Bye for now. Bye. Thanks for joining us on this episode of All Things Retreat. We hope you're leaving with new ideas, fresh inspiration, and the motivation to take your retreats to the next level. Don't forget to subscribe and leave us a review. It helps us grow and reach more retreat leaders like you. And if you have any questions, topics you'd like us to cover, or just want to say hello, send us an email at infoweretreatrnr.com. Follow us on social media to stay connected and catch all the latest updates. Until next time, remember, great retreats start with great intentions. Let's make them extraordinary, one step at a time. Thinking about hosting a retreat, before you dive in, let's make sure you're really ready. Grab your free RB Retreat ready checklist and find out if you've got everything in place from your purpose and pricing to your audience and agenda. Don't guess, get clear. This quick checklist will show you exactly where you stand and what you need to make your retreat success. Click the link below in the show notes to grab your gift and take the first step toward hosting conference.