The Science and Practice of Embodiment for Deeper Healing

Summary
In this episode, Ben Ufana shares insights on transforming retreats from mere inspiration to genuine healing experiences. We explore practices for embodiment, emotional digestion, and effective follow-up to ensure lasting change.




Takeaways
Difference between inspiring and transforming retreats
Role of embodiment and emotional digestion
Practices for emotional awareness and release
Importance of follow-up and reinforcement
Adapting practices for different trauma and conditions
Genuine transformation occurs when participants digest and work through their emotional experiences.
Practicing embodiment helps bridge the gap between mind and body, fostering deeper healing.
Follow-up after retreats is crucial for lasting change, including recordings and check-ins.
Tailoring practices to individual needs, such as trauma or ADHD, enhances effectiveness.
Capturing progress visually, like photos, can motivate and affirm participants' growth.


Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Ben Ufana and the show's focus
01:17 What differentiates inspiring from transformative retreats
02:20 Ben's background and approach to healing practices
03:16 The importance of emotional digestion in healing
04:02 The challenge of information overload and embodiment
05:00 Practices for emotional awareness and bodily sensations
07:00 Progression of feelings and emotional movement
08:00 Adapting practices for trauma and physical conditions
09:28 Tips for ADHD and scattered minds during meditation
13:26 Using physical touch and awareness to bridge mind and body
15:13 Training in Chinese internal martial arts for focus
16:33 The importance of recording and reinforcement post-retreat
17:28 Continuing integration and follow-up strategies
23:43 Using photos to visualize progress and transformation
24:10 Closing remarks and resources



🔗 Connect with Ben Oofana
📧 Email: ben.oofana@gmail.com
🌐 Website: benoofana.com
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📸 Instagram: @benoofana




🔗 Connect with Holly Porter | Retreat RNR 
📧 Email: holly@hollyporter.com 
🔗 LinkedIn: Holly Porter | Retreat RNR 
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▶️ YouTube: @intlretreatassociation
📸 Instagram: @retreatrnr | @hollyporterinternational 
📘 Facebook: HollyAnnPorter

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to All Things Retreat Podcast. I'm Holly Porter, your host and CEO of Retreat R. With over 25 years of experience in designing transformative retreats. I'm here to share insights and inspiration to help you create extraordinary experiences. Whether you're a pro or just starting out, you'll find valuable ideas here. Enjoy the ride. Let's dive in. Hello and welcome back, or welcome for the first time to the show today. We're going to be talking with Ben Ufana, and he has devoted more than 35 years to helping people heal, grow, and transform through meditation, embodiment practices, and traditional healing methods. His work offers retreat leaders valuable insights to creating experiences that move beyond inspiration and foster genuine sustainable change. Welcome to the show, Ben.

SPEAKER_00 0:54

Thank you, Holly. Nice to join you today.

SPEAKER_01 0:58

Okay, well, let's just dive into it. I have some questions here for you, and I would love to just have a little conversation with you here. So you ready to dive in?

SPEAKER_00 1:07

Definitely. Let's go for it.

SPEAKER_01 1:09

Okay. What separates a retreat that simply inspires people from one that general genuinely transforms them?

SPEAKER_00 1:17

There are a lot of times I've spent time at retreats where there's just so much information. And also we have a lot of individuals who facilitate these events. But a lot of times what happens is afterwards we go home. We're back in our settlement, back in our normal or what we're used to environment, and with the the same, everything that's conditioned us, everything that we're dealing with or the challenges we face on a daily basis. And so what happens is we tend to lose a lot of uh that that inspiration that sparked that excitement. Um so when I've worked with people, for instance, because I'm primarily uh sometimes I've facilitate events, multiple day events, but primarily evening events. And so I'm because of the work I've done, my training, they're a combination of things, training with a Native American doctor, a natural medicine man, and the the training that goes with that, the vision quest, four days a nights alone in the mountains, no food and water, and also a lot of the intensive practice I do on a daily basis, uh a form of meditation where digesting lived experiences, all the emotions attached to them. When I'm in front of the room, I see and I feel what people are carrying in their bodies. So what comes to me right off is like, wow, it's like here's what this person's carrying, and there's critical work to do, and if we don't get in and really start addressing this, this person's gonna take off, they're gonna go home, and they'll be distracted by a million things.

SPEAKER_02 3:07

So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:08

So what is it that I could provide to them right off that? And mainly I'm walking them through practices, I'm putting them in touch with what they're carrying because I see it and I feel it from people being so empathic, uh, teaching them the practices where they're actually working to digest both their lived experiences, their emotional responses, and the more I can get people to do that and internalize that practice, they're gonna take it home with them, they're gonna have something they can work with.

SPEAKER_01 3:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:43

Yeah, for sure, to continue their healing.

SPEAKER_01 3:46

Yeah, so I know you you teach people to feel like they're getting more fully embodied in something rather than just throwing the information. A lot of people that were endated by information. And so talk about that and how what your process looks like by doing that.

SPEAKER_00 4:02

Yeah, more and more. It's as I remember going back working in the 90s, for instance, and it was a lot easier because I could have to return to the East Coast, uh, Boston, New York, uh, about four times a year, and be doing sessions, and people would retain what they had experienced and return three, four months later, and they're still tracking on it now. As social media and our devices have become more and more sophisticated, we are bombarded with more um you know digital content, information than ever before. And as human beings, we have a limited processing capacity, and so all of this media we're consuming it leaves impressions and then it evokes emotional and cognitive responses, and because our processing capacity is overwhelmed, we're not able to digest that, and that prohibits us from digesting our lived experiences and our own emotional responses as well. So, what happens is that there's all this residue, this accumulation that builds up in people's bodies. So, what I do when people show up in classes, and before COVID, I was teaching classes on a weekly basis in New York City, then Boston every other week. And a lot of times people are showing up for the first time. I've never seen them before, I have no idea what's going on. After a brief introduction, and they would maybe mention a few things, I start dropping them into their body and you know, bring to your awareness, and here's the practice itself. One, uh, what's going on? Like, what is it that's concerning you? Is it a relationship? Maybe you picture that person or feel the relational dynamic, or maybe both you're dealing with work-related stress. Whatever challenges you're facing, bring it fully to the forefront of your awareness. Two, what do you feel in response to it? What emotions, feelings, what physical sensations? Then, three, where are they situated in your body? Are they in your throat, your abdomen, embedded deep within your chest, or some other part of your body? For bring as much awareness as you can, descend into the depths of these feelings, these bodily sensations, and begin breathing very, very softly all the way down to your abdomen, expanding your abdomen, bend rib cage, pause, and then exhale as slowly as you can all the way out, pause again, and continue the cycle. And what will happen, and it depends, if if you're in that acute stage, like the person just ghosted you or the relationship just crashed, that the emotions may not dissipate all that quickly, but it can take considerable amounts of time. But in many instances, what people find happening is what they're feeling, the feeling sensations, maybe they spread, they to occupy a larger space in your body, they may shift to other locations. It may go through a whole succession, for instance, uh grief to anger to sadness to a sense of like I can't control this, to okay, I'm I don't go starting to move on. And that's just one of many successions. Yes, this progression of feelings. And this is critically important because this is where the vast majority of people run into difficulty, get into trouble, is they're not digesting their lived experiences and emotional responses. What we are not able to digest in some way, it accumulates in our bodies in terms of our relationships, our, or even just our ability to function in different respects.

SPEAKER_02 7:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:00

Whatever we're carrying, that creates a filter through which we perceive other people, our the world around us, how life is unfolding, and the more we can chew up, digest, work through, it gives us greater clarity, insight, understanding. So this is the basic practice. There are many variations, and as I was saying, people show up with all kinds of a whole range of different issues or concerns. If someone's experiencing digestive distress, ulcerative colitis, or Crohn's disease, or IES, the practice I would guide them through would be quite a bit different, or if they're suffering as a result of a traumatic brain injury, it's a very different practice I would guide them through.

SPEAKER_01 8:49

Right. Well, I'm curious for those of us like me, very ADHD. Um, I can tell you're a person that's calming and people being around of you, it's like I would almost talk a little lower. You know, I'm loud. Um, well, not as loud as I used to be, but I'm loud. So people that are like that in a busy world, it's really a struggle for meditation and thought processes. And so, can you give us uh maybe two or three tips to help someone like that so that they can maybe figure out a better way they can use this practice to focus?

SPEAKER_00 9:29

I'm not sure that there's just generalized tips that are going to apply to everyone, but say if you're in my class, if you're sitting right in front of me, then yeah, I'm tuning into you.

SPEAKER_02 9:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:40

You're tuning into your physical body, tuning into your cognitive, your emotional state at the time. And and often there's that sense of scatteration here all over the place. You have thoughts. And so, for instance, right now, right in the moment, what can you sense in your own body?

SPEAKER_01 10:01

I did this practice with someone last week, and I was like, I couldn't even think of an emotion I was feeling. Like I because it that particular day I have long COVID from all my crazy journey. So I was feeling a lot of pain. So it was funny because we were doing this exercise. So um, okay, okay, so let's see. What was the question again?

SPEAKER_00 10:20

Tune into your body, even if for 10 seconds, just close your eyes and really tune in to what you feel. Like, what are the sensations? What are the feelings? What is it like energetically to be in your body?

SPEAKER_01 10:31

Yeah. Um, today I'm feeling pretty calm. I don't feel but I think your your personality style is more that way, so I feel like people like me would, like I said, you'd speak softer, you'd you'd be calmer.

SPEAKER_00 10:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:45

Yeah, it um it depends. I mean, I could have someone in front of me that is uh experienced severe trauma and yeah, pretty reactive. And right, ooh, uh sometimes there's a volatility, and I can be feeling quite anxious because I can some of these individuals are like powder kicks, they're easily triggered and well, and just I think when you're having to identify like an emotion in your body, and I think people retreat leaders probably run into this a lot when they're doing transformational work, or they're bringing someone like you in to do to do this kind of embodiment work, meditation, whatever um is happening.

SPEAKER_01 11:32

Yeah, I think you know, you you bring people in from all different places in the world a lot of times, and they're raised differently. You're right, the traumas are different, uh, the personalities are different. And so there, I feel like there isn't just this one fix-all. Like, yeah, yeah, I agree with you there. I but I feel like people that are in the ADHD world of, and I don't like labels necessarily. People understand it when when you say that, um, but I don't love labels. But anyway, just saying that type of people, it's really hard to get that calmness. I mean, I get it now way more than I ever did before because I was in the hospital for 70 days, I was in a coma for 50, you know. So it's like I I understand, you know, I when you're in your head like that and that headspace, it's it's you have to learn, like it's a mindset. That's what I would say. It is all a mindset. And I think what you're teaching, it puts them in a lot better state and a lot better mindset than when they're coming in. And I think uh just getting getting people to focus, you know. We're we're just in such a fast-paced world that I think everyone goes to retreats to get some kind of transformation, like at whatever level it is, even if it's a business retreat or their learning there, whatever kind they're going to. I feel like that's it, that's their mindset is I'm going to have some kind of transformation. Or really, why would you go? Unless it's just a girl's trip or a guy's trip, you know, that's a little bit different.

SPEAKER_00 13:00

But um I can think of well, I'll mention two things. First the with the ADHD component and your minds, you're pulled in different directions. One thing I've been doing more recently is I can feel when there's this anxiety that's brewing underneath the surface where there's maybe I'm experiencing certain insecurity or other emotions. Um, and I'm scheduled to return to Sri Lanka in just a few weeks, and I have some some of my my strongest connections. You know, that's where I feel most at home, and so there's there's a lot going on around that. But I can be walking through New York City, and and I feel that coming up, and there's a way in which our our intellect, our mind, our emotions, and our physical body, there's a lot of disconnect there. So even I'm doing this in a way to so as not to be too conspicuous, but I sure find that so many people are so self-absorbed they're not really that aware anyway. But I'm putting my hands on where the those feelings are coming up, which I'm I'm feeling a lot of it like either in my chest or a little further down on my solar plexus. I'm putting my hands there. And that's creating that bridge between the the intellect, the mind, because often what happens with that disconnect is that these emotions are operating, and it's there's a lot of kind of imaginings, and we're imagining certain scenarios playing out, and then there's the anxious feelings or whatever, and um, but again, the disconnect, things are not bridging and they're not processing as well. So, what I find is when I put my hands there, and then I'm breathing, I bring my awareness down into this area where my hands are, it's starting to bridge the gaps. And so when you find yourself, you know, you're struggling with the ADHD, that scatteration, it's anchoring you back into your body. Uh one of the, I guess you could call it a retreat. I've traveled to China a couple of times, and I've I spent 17 years training this one master from China in Xi Nikwan, Bakwa Song, Tai Chi, Qigong, uh, internal martial arts that are rooted in Taoism. And when I went to China, I trained with one of his relatives that uh had also attained mastery and hardly anyone spoke English, and I was having to rely on a Chinese English dictionary less of the time and was still managed to communicate. But one of the things that really helped was having the um I brought a video camera, and I know a lot of retreat facilitators are hesitant to allow their work to be filmed.

SPEAKER_02 15:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:54

But as a facilitator, there needs to be either some kind of detailed notes or there needs to be some kind of video component because when you go into some kind of intensive training and and you go through that, but okay, you're there and you're immersed in that experience, and then you go home, you're back in your customary environment and around the same people and same work related and relational stresses, and and all that's what you got there, it's going to evaporate. And so you need that reinforcement to be able to take with you so you could um listen again or go back through those practices. Uh you need to go through, there needs to be that repetition, otherwise it's just going to evaporate, especially with everything that's competing. And now we have the digital media and the you know, we're constantly bombard and scrolling and even worse short-form content. Whatever you didn't absorb from that workshop, it's just going to evaporate.

SPEAKER_01 16:53

Yeah, so true. I want to add back to the recordings, retreat leaders need to make sure you have a media release from those people because you can, you know, if you end up putting something out there that they didn't give you permission, especially when you're doing transformational work and people are falling apart and doing things, I mean, be careful how you use that, I would say, just to be respectful, but make sure you have that media release because I think that's super important to add. Um what what do you think what do you think is the best way to continue integration from a retreat after it's over? What would you suggest?

SPEAKER_00 17:28

One thing real quick, you're talking about the media release and everything. And I think there's also with the facilitators um cutting out some of the parts where really detailed personal information that reveal what's going on with a particular individual that's yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:46

If it's super personal, even if you got a media release, out of respect, uh yeah, that is a way you could do it. But I would also present it to that person if it's very personal and make sure after you edit it that they're still okay with that. I mean, obviously, usually they're excited that you did such great work for them. That's why you want to use the transformational video or whatever. So it, but if they're a really private person, even if they signed a media release, they might have forgot. Like, and the other thing with that is when they see a video camera, sometimes maybe they don't let themselves go fully in, you know, they won't they won't get that transformation because it's being filmed, because we care, you know, we care what other people think. We're just human, but yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:29

Definitely, yeah. One of the things I would do is after the actual class or workshop, whatever, I would offer to scan people's bodies, and because of all the intensive training practice that I've gone through, uh, working through so many layers of wounding trauma, it made me highly empathic.

SPEAKER_03 18:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

And so I have the person standing in front of me, and I'm holding my hand in front of their body, so I'm looking down into the body, um, seeing all kinds of things like what's manifesting physically in the body, I'm getting uh what kind of emotional states they're in at the moment, and as well as those that predominate, uh dealing the actual traumatic events they've gone through, uh, what resources they have that enable them to cope or function.

SPEAKER_02 19:24

Right.

SPEAKER_00 19:24

A lot of times when there's um trauma, adversity, sometimes it can leave people very much dissociated.

SPEAKER_02 19:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:33

Even if they don't meet the clinical um um standards of uh criteria for, say, dissociative disorder, they're still quite disconnected. Right. And and then there's this a lot of infrastructure, for lack of a better term, that helps has to do with their ability to function. I see where that's either developed or has failed to develop. I see how it's affected the biochemical makeup of the brain, the development of the neural structure of the brain. I'm picking up on all of this, and I'm reflecting back what I see and I'm checking to confirm is this, do you feel this is correct? But uh one of the things I do is I check in with people, you know, you're asking me about how uh participants can continue the transformation, the growth. So as they're in class, I'm making sure they have a working understanding of the practices so they can take that home with them.

SPEAKER_02 20:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:33

Even from there, even if I have permission, I'm a little more cautious with women because you know some kind of bone-headed things that men do that have made women very uncomfortable. So I'm just more cautious with boundaries, but so I'll follow up with an email or something, or maybe a text too offered to check in. Um with men, you know, I'll just like I'll just pick up the phone and call. Um but when I have that permission, then I do follow up, and it's like, okay, so how are you doing? Since um, and that could be whether an individual session itself, yeah. They showed up at a class or a multiple-day event.

SPEAKER_02 21:19

Right.

SPEAKER_00 21:20

What's going on? And have you been able to work with the practices that I've shown you? Okay, so now you've been dealing with this challenge, and so have you actually applied it there? And I will often take time and walk them through additional practice to make sure that they got it. So that way they're really going away with something that they could utilize, and they're getting that. Okay, you learned it initially, but often to learn a practice or series of practices one time, it's it's not enough. It doesn't stick yet. So When I follow up my own site and walk them back through the practice or maybe show them a specific application depending on what's happening at the time we're talking there on the phone, then it they are more likely to internalize it and the more repetition they get. And there's a balancing act too because you know, those of us who are practitioners or who facilitate these events, we put out a lot of time and effort, and I don't think a lot of that's really appreciated. And we have limited time ourselves. We need to have our own lives, and and you know, there's we have to support ourselves. We only have so much time and energy available, but it's like, okay, how much I I want to give to make sure that this person that I worked with in whatever context, I want to make sure they're really getting it. And there's also a significantly higher likelihood that this person uh having really internalized this, and in as as they continue working with the practices, they're far more likely to experience a a real genuine lasting transformation. They're far more likely to return, and when they return, it's going to be much, much, much deeper.

SPEAKER_01 23:17

I love that. No, I think it's good to have a practice that you can continue that you actually can teach someone that they can continue to use. The other one thing came up real quick, and then we are out of time. I I just wanted to say, I think another really, really special thing to give the attendees when you're doing transformation work is take a picture. Usually we have a photographer there. Um, take a picture of them the first day and take a picture of them the last day. Because usually you can see the change, you can see the light in their face. You just it and I think that's just something special to let them know, you know, all the progress that they made over whatever days the retreat is. But um, well, okay, thank you so much today for coming, Ben, and and sharing some of your ideas with us. I'm sure our retreat leaders uh got a lot of juicy stuff out of it. I know I learned a lot and I appreciate you being here. We're going to put Ben's information into our show notes. So if you want to reach out to him on his website or LinkedIn or Instagram, uh go ahead and grab those links and check more of his workout. And um, until then, uh thank you again for being here.

SPEAKER_02 24:22

Sure, thank you, Holly.

SPEAKER_01 24:24

Okay, see y'all next time. Bye for now. Thank you for joining us on this episode of All Things Retreat. We hope you're leaving with new ideas, fresh inspiration, and the motivation to take your retreats to the next level. Don't forget to subscribe and leave us a review. It helps us grow and reach more retreat leaders like you. And if you have any questions, topics you'd like us to cover, or just want to say hello, send us an email at infoweretreatrnr.com. Follow us on social media to stay connected and catch all the latest updates. Until next time. Remember, great retreats start with great intentions. Let's make them extraordinary, one step at a time. Thinking about hosting a retreat? Before you dive in, let's make sure you're really ready. Grab your free Are You Retreat ready checklist and find out if you've got everything in place from your purpose to pricing to your audience and agenda. Don't guess. Get clear. This quick checklist will show you exactly where you stand and what you need to make your retreat a success. Click the link below in the show notes to grab your gift and take the first step toward hosting this conference.