Avoid the Crash Out

Sometimes the real burnout isn’t physical — it’s emotional exhaustion from constantly overgiving, overextending, and abandoning yourself to keep everyone else comfortable. In this episode of Coffee Talk, we’re talking about boundaries, guilt, people-pleasing, and why saying no is sometimes the holiest thing you can do. If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, emotionally drained, or one inconvenience away from crashing out… this conversation is for you.

Transcript

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Some of you are not angry. You're exhausted. Exhausted from caring people, fixing people, showing up for people, and abandoning yourself in the process. Good morning, family. And welcome back to Coffee Talk. Today we're talking about avoiding the crashout. And no, I am not talking about losing your temper. I am talking about the emotional crash out, the mental crash out, and the spiritual burnout that happened. When you have ignored your limits for too long, eventually it leads to a crash out. Earlier this week, I sent out a message about boundaries. And as usual, God, of course, is dealing with me about that thing. Because if we're honest, a lot of us don't know how to say no. And it's not because we're kind people, but because we are afraid. We are afraid people will be disappointed. We are afraid people won't need us anymore. We are afraid that saying no makes us seem selfish somehow. But let me say this clearly today: you are not selfish for having limits and setting boundaries. Saying no is not rejection. It's not failure. And it is not unkind. Sometimes no is wisdom. Sometimes your no is your survival. And whoa, Lord, this always convicts me, this message of setting boundaries and limits. Because there were seasons in my life where I thought being needed meant being loved. So I overextended myself consistently and constantly. And eventually, I started resenting the very people I kept saying yes to. And maybe some of you can relate. Maybe you're tired. Not because life is hard, but because everybody has access to you. They have access to your peace, your energy, your emotions, your time. And somewhere in the middle of helping everybody else, you disappeared. And I'll say this. And one thing about God that he had to show me was that Jesus had boundaries. Jesus rested. He withdrew. He did not meet every demand placed on him. So why do we feel guilty for doing the same? Matthew says, let your yes be yes and your no be no. And baby, that scripture hit different when I realized a clear no protects the integrity of your yes. Because every time you say yes out of guilt, you may be saying no to your peace, to your risks, to your family, to your health, to your actual assignment. And eventually you start crashing out emotionally. Because your soul was never designed just to simply carry everybody. Remember the bag lady? And if we go even deeper, some of us learned this early that love had to be earned. So now we overgive, overperform, overextend, trying to secure love through sacrifice. But hear me carefully. You do not have to exhaust yourself to deserve love. So let me ask you this today. When was the last time you rested without guilt? When was the last time you said no without explaining yourself for 20 minutes afterwards? Oh man, that was me yesterday. When was the last time you chose you without feeling selfish? And here's another hard truth. Everybody will not like your boundaries. Lord, they won't. But because those people benefited from you, from the version of you that never said no. But boundaries don't push the right people away, they reveal who actually respects you. No, is a complete sentence. You do not owe everybody access to you. You do not owe everybody an explanation. You can be kind and still be firm. But this is where I want you all to grow, and this is where I'm growing. Now I'm not gonna lie. If you're used to saying yes, your first no is going to feel very uncomfortable. You may even feel guilty. But just because it feels wrong doesn't mean it is wrong. It means you're learning a healthy pattern. So today, I want you to stop measuring your worth by how available you are because your value does not increase every time you sacrifice yourself for people. Peace is not found in pleasing everyone. Peace is found in honoring what God is asking of you. And maybe the reason some of you are on the edge of crashing out is because you've ignored your own soul for too long. So rest. Say no when necessary. Protect your peace and stop abandoning yourself by trying to keep everyone else comfortable. I pray that this blessed you all today. I want you all to stay strong, stay blessed, and remember avoid the crash out. Thank you all for spending this 10 minutes or less with me today. If this episode has blessed you, please share it with another lady or male who may need to hear it. I pray that you all have an amazingly blessed day.