I became that Dad: Things I swore I'd never say

At some point… it happens.

You say something…
 and immediately realize—

“Wow… I sound just like my parents.”

In Episode 10 of Mostly Me, Occasionally Wise, we’re diving into the phrases we swore we’d never say… but now say all the time.

From the classics like:
 “We have food at home”
 “Because I said so”
 “Money doesn’t grow on trees”

…to the ones nobody prepares you for:
 “Don’t eat that”
 “Why is that wet?!”
 “Roll the window down!”

This episode is funny, chaotic, and way too relatable—but underneath it all, it’s about something deeper.

Because those phrases?
 They’re not just random.

They’re passed down.
 They’re learned.
 And somehow… they start to make sense.

If you’ve ever caught yourself sounding like your parents—or wondered how you got here—this one’s for you.

📩 Got a phrase you swore you’d never say?
 Send it to: mostlymecontact@gmail.com

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 Mostly Me, Occasionally Wise

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Until next time — stay mostly you, and occasionally wise.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Real quick, what's something you swore you'd never say that you say all the time now? Because the other day I said we have food at home. And I didn't even laugh. I meant it. And that's when I realized I became that dad. Welcome back to Motionly Media Occasionally Wise. And if this is your first time here, this is where real life parenting and a little bit of humor all collide. And of course, if you've been here before, you already know we're just trying to figure this out as we go. This is episode 10, and this one hits a little bit different because it started out as a joke. It was just a list of things I swore I'd never say as a dad. And of course, here we are doing a full episode on it. But before we get into that, it is time for the weekly dad life debrief. This is the part where I slow it down and give you a real snapshot of what life actually looks like for me this week. And this week, it was one of those weeks where you're tired. But it's not a bad tired. Everywhere I go, he's right there. And bedtime, you know, when we're not reading stories, we're wrestling, we're laughing, we're looking out the window at his bird sanctuary he's created, or we're just, you know, playing a game or two on my cell phone. And just like that, he's gotten to where now, after we've done all these things, he'll he'll hug me, give me a kiss, and then we'll do the Wishguth of Doom, and he'll look at me and say, Daddy, I'm tired. Please turn the lights out. I'd like to go to sleep. And my world crumbles because it's those moments like that I realized that my four-year-old is is growing up, and I hate it. I hate it so much. Because that's my buddy, that's not my little buddy, and I remember the first time I held him when we first met him and his brother. It was just I knew. I knew that these two were special, and my four-year-old, I just he's one of a kind. And moments like that where he just looks at me and says, Daddy, I'm tired. Will you please turn the lights out? I want to go to sleep. It's it's amazing, but at the same time, ugh, your your your little dad heart breaks. And then there's my 13-year-old, and that's a different kind of parenting. We've kind of talked a little bit about it. It's all about patience. It's it's learning when to talk, when to just sit there and listen. And that's me realizing, you know, in those moments, I don't have to have all the answers. I just need to show up consistently. And of course, with my 13-year-old, we are dealing with the the respect thing. You know, with 13-year-olds, oftentimes they're mad at the world. And you don't know why as a parent, and I don't think sometimes they even know why. But it's been apparent, it's it's been apparent lately with him that he's just mad and he doesn't want to talk about it, or maybe he just doesn't know why he's mad. And so with that, you know, his thrust his frustrations spill out and it leads to disrespect towards you know Becca and I. And we've had to kind of, you know, okay, we've given you an inch, you've run three miles with it, now we're gonna have to put up the the barrier, and there's gonna have to be some consequences until you understand that when you vent your frustrations and things, you can do it in a tactful manner without being disrespectful towards your mom and I. So we had to take a cell phone away. And of course, for any parent, you know that a cell phone for a teenager is a lifeline. And if you have to take a cell phone away, you know it's pretty serious. So all last week he didn't have a cell phone, and he, you know, is starting to realize that we mean business, that respect is something huge in our house, and you you've you've got to show it. And so he's improving. He earned his phone back yesterday. He didn't get all the privileges back on his phone because with his phone we're able to block certain things, but he did get his cell phone back yesterday, so he's taking steps in the right direction, but we're taking it one at one day at a time because you know, we want him to understand where we're coming from when it comes to respect. And then there's my daughter getting ready for college, living her life, just bought an apartment with her boyfriend. Oh, man. It hits me every now and then, especially with my 18-year-old, how fast all of this goes, because it's like you blink and everything changes. And like I said earlier with my four-year-old, even with my 13-year-old, when you see little moments that they're growing up, or you know, they're showing, you know, signs of wisdom that you've taught them, you know, they're they're displaying it in their life, it it's an amazing thing, but at the same time, it breaks your heart because you realize with them getting older, you're getting older. But of course, right in the middle of all that, you've got chaos. Don't eat that. Why is this wet? Please roll down the window. And will you stop licking that? Just a constant mix of confusion and survival. But that's the part nobody tells you about. You know, those random, ridiculous moments. That's the good stuff. That's where you're gonna laugh about it later. That's the stuff that sticks. And this week reminded me that even when it's loud, even when it's messy, even when it absolutely makes no sense, this is the life I've always wanted. This week got me thinking about something because all those little moments, all the chaos, all the random things I find myself saying every day, they're not new. None of it is. They are the same phrases I heard growing up, the the lines, the same lines that make my eyes roll. The ones I obviously didn't understand back then, but now I hear them come out of my mouth and it's like they've been passed down. Like every parent gets handed the same script, and at some point you just start reading your lines. And that's when it hit me. I I I didn't just grow up, I stepped into it. I became the one saying the things I swore I never would. So let's get into the classic phrases that I heard growing up. The ones that I would roll my eyes at, the ones I was convinced I would never say, and now they come out of my mouth like I've been saying them my whole life. And that first phrase is we have food at home. So this one hits different now because to me, it's not even about the food that's being, you know, that they're wanting, that the, that they're that they're craving. It's it's about the fact, about the amount of effort I put into creating this food that's waiting for you at home. You know, it's about the fact that I just bought groceries. It's about the fact that my wife has worked really hard all day and then she's come home and she provided us with this great meal because Becca's an amazing cook. I just, I just really need someone in this house to respect the chicken I just thawed. I mean, and that's what's crazy to me. Back then I didn't get it, but I get it now. And when my parents delivered that line, I honestly just thought it was they didn't want to get up and go out of the house, or they just want to, they didn't want to take the 30 seconds it would take to go into a McDonald's drive-thru. We had food at home. Food that they had worked hard on, food that they had, you know, that they're working hard to provide for us. And like I said, when I say this line, you know, we have food at home, it's not about the food, it's about the amount of effort, the amount of blood, sweat, and tears that Becca and I put into this food that they are gonna eat that is far more, far more nutritional than Sonic or McDonald's or any of these other places that kids nowadays think that are just the holy grail of food. This next phrase that I use a lot is something that makes me smile because I realize the importance of that phrase. And that phrase is turn that down. And so I have to deliver it like that, by the way. I have to dumb it down because kids, especially teenagers, don't hear you speaking in a normal tone, but when you dumb it down for them and you talk to them, you know, like they're a lot younger than you know, the age they are, they take offense to that, and then you have their attention. So you have to deliver it like I just delivered it. Let's do it all together, parents. Turn that down. See, it kind of drives it home. It kind of, you're like, okay, you know, there's some there's some weight behind this. But with this phrase, I understand the importance of it because I'm 42 years old. I am severely hard of hearing, I have hearing aids. And of course, my dad was hard of hearing, and so we listened to a lot of things in the house a lot louder than we should have, and you know, the damage just you know trickled down. It affected me, it affected my brother, it even affected my mom. And I don't want my kids to have to deal with that because I know how frustrating it is when someone's trying to talk to you and you can't understand what they're saying, or you can't even hear them. So this phrase affects my teenager more than it does, you know, my four-year-old or my 18-year-old. With my 13-year-old, he likes to escape in his music, and I totally get that. I am a huge music fan, and I get the fact that there are some days you just want to drown the world out with your favorite artist and just listen to what they're having to say lyrically, and or just listen to a beat. My my 13-year-old doesn't listen to a lot of words, songs that have words in them. He is more of electronic beats kind of guy, whether they're slow beats, fast beats, that's just his cup of tea. But when I am sitting there next to you in the car, and I have my radio up a little bit, and I don't have my hearing aids, but I can still hear what you're hearing in your headset, and you're and your eardrums are actually saying my name and screaming for help, I'm going to intervene because I want you to understand how important your hearing is. Yes, you don't listen to a lot of the things I have to say, you don't listen to a lot of the things your mom has to say. But later down the road, dude, when your your girlfriend or your wife or your significant other is really trying to have a meaningful talk and you're having to consistently ask, huh? What did you say? Can you repeat that? I didn't understand that. It's gonna get frustrating. I live it. Becca and I, she she's gotten better, but at the beginning of our marriage, there were a lot of those, huh? What did you say? I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. But she's learned to speak up in a louder tone, so now I can hear, of course, with the hearing aids, they help out too. But this is a phrase I catch myself saying, I don't know, once or twice a day, if not more. So it's a it's it's it's a part of my vocabulary now at this point. So the next phrase I use quite often is money doesn't grow on trees. And as a kid, I thought I thought this was just something parents said for fun. Like it was part of the job description, and now I say it like I'm giving a financial TED talk while holding a receipt that doesn't make sense. And the crazy part is is I remember hearing that line and thinking, okay, but like can we stop somewhere real quick? And now as an adult, I'm doing the math in my head, like we have snacks at home, we just bought those snacks, you know. Why are we still asking for snacks? And somehow in this house, snacks disappear faster than anything I've ever seen. So yeah, money doesn't grow on trees, but apparently snacks grow legs and just walk out of the pantry. So this next one is one my wife and I made a promise to each other that we would never use with our kids because we knew how much we hated hearing it growing up. And that is because I said so. You know, like I said, this used to be the line I hated the most. No explanation, no reasoning, just done. And I remember thinking I would never say that because I'm gonna explain everything, but now I really get it, because sometimes you've already explained it five times, you've broken it down, you've negotiated, you've tried logic, and at some point you just run out of words. And and if not not laziness, it's it's just pure exhaustion. That's reaching a level where you realize this conversation is not going anywhere, and because I said so, that's not giving up. That's the closing argument. Now, those were expected. Those were the classic ones that all kids heard growing up, and you promised yourself you would never say those to your kids, and you did, and you still do. But nobody prepares you for the sentences that just show up. Like, we don't need to eat everything off the floor. Not a sentence I honestly thought I'd say, and it's not something I thought I would say as often as I do, but here we are. My four-year-old tends to think that food does not have an expiration date. And if he spots something on the floor, under the couch, you know, under the couch cushions, wherever, wherever food falls, if it's something that is intriguing to him and it looks good, and it has you know passed a test being edible after he's blown it off and you know, making sure there's no hair on it, he will put it in his mouth and he will eat it. And this is something that is followed up by me realizing what he's done and saying, you don't have to eat everything off the floor. There are some things on this floor that are just not edible anymore. Food goes bad, bud. And if you continue to go down this route, you're gonna get a tummy ache and you're not gonna feel good. But of course, I met with, well, daddy, there was no hair on it, and when I put it in my mouth, it still tasted good, so it's good. I understand the logic, it's not it's not the greatest logic in the world. But kid, you don't have to eat everything off the floor. So, this next one I thought I would never have to use. It revolves around potty training. So, you know, with the four-year-old, we reached a point to where the pull-ups were getting just a bit too expensive, and he was getting old enough now where he needed to start potty training. So, you know, we we did our research and we knew it was just gonna have to be something we were just gonna have to grin and bear. And fortunate fortunately, he picked it up pretty quick. But there is a line during this process that I still have to say to this day, and it is, buddy, you gotta hold your penis. So he he just tends to think that when he pulls his underwear down, the the penis is just gonna aim right at the toilet and it's just gonna go right in. 100%, no drip, no spraying, no nothing. He thinks that his penis is just that good. And we've had conversations a lot, actually, that your your penis is like a like a like a fire hose. And I had to show him a picture of a fire hose, and and what happens when you don't hold the fire hose that just sprays everywhere. Because in the past, I've been peed on, DeFloor has been peed on, he has been peed on, I've been peed on again, and so you know, he's gotten better about holding his penis, but at night when he's still groggy, I have to kind of I have to hold and steady him because he's a little unstable on his feet, and he'll kind of resort to old actions and just pull his pants down, and I'm like, hey buddy, you gotta hold your penis. Because if you don't, we all pay. Everyone pays, and I really don't want pee on me right now. So, yeah, that's that's one I never thought I would have to say. Buddy, you gotta hold your penis. So let's stay on the topic of peeing. So a couple of weeks ago, I went to pick up my son from preschool, and the teachers were running up to me. Well, they because they were outside, you know, and in the afternoons they go outside quite a bit if the weather's perfect. And before all this rain and humidity, it was. So the teachers are running up to me as I'm signing them out, and they have smiles on their face. But at the same time, on the inside, I'm like, what has my son done today? And what am I going to have to talk to him about? So they come running up, they're laughing, and they proceeded to tell me, hey, we we've addressed the issue, but we wanted to let you know that your son decided to pull his pants down today while outside on the playground and just pee. So I roll my eyes and I've got a smile on my face because I'm trying not to laugh. And, you know, of course, my four-year-old comes running up and I look at him and I was like, Did you pee outside on the playground? And at first he's he says no, because he's thinking he's in trouble. But he sees the smile on my face, and he smiles too, and he goes, Yes, daddy, I peed on the playground. And then he he tells me that his best friend did the same thing. And so as we're walking to the car, you know, I'm asking questions like, hey, you know, how long did you know you had to pee before you peed? And he said he knew. He knew he had to go pee, and I was like, okay, well, why didn't you tell a teacher? And so he's like, Well, I didn't want to come inside. Okay, I get it. You enjoy being outside. But then we talked like, you know, hey, I understand we go camping a lot, and when we're camping, you get to go and pee on all the trees, but you can't do that here. So and he's like, Yeah, I know. I just I had to pee really bad, Daddy. And I was like, okay, I get it. When you gotta go, you gotta go. But I said, you know, when you start to feel the urge, go tell a teacher. I said, they'll take you inside, you'll handle your business, and you come outside and play. And of course, he said, okay. And you know, that was the end of the conversation. So that's another one I thought I would never have to talk to my kid about, and and that is you can't pee anywhere you want. So let's go back to the 13-year-old. This is one that I use quite often with him. And it's just because it's out of concern. It's out of, I want you to succeed in life, but I need you to follow this thing. And I need you to answer this question appropriately, and I need you to think about the re the you know, the results of why I'm asking this question. And that question is, do you think about things before you say it? And and and like I said, it's it's less of a question, but more of a moment of reflection for everybody involved. Not not that I'm trying to be a jerk, it's just I genuinely want to understand what the thought process was here. Like, did he think this through, or did we just launch it into the world and hope for the best? And the answer is always the same. And that answer is no. No, we did not think about it. So this last one was something I had to say on Sunday during church. And you know, you go to church and you and you praise, you know, the Lord and give him thanks and everything, but not my son, not my four-year-old son, who is just a sweet, charming, beautiful soul. He decides that while we're in the middle of praying, that it's that it's the perfect time to twerk. And so I caught myself having to tell my son, Bud, we can't twerk in the middle of church service. I get that you're feeling the spirit. I understand the songs maybe just hitting your soul right now, but we don't twerk at church now when we My four-year-old twerks. He doesn't just put his hands on his knees and kind of arch his back. He goes down on all fours and he sticks his butt in the air. And I mean, he's just a shaking it. He's just feeling just feeling the Lord. So he was twerking for Jesus. And as great as it was in the moment, I had to I had to sit him on my lap and say, hey bud, can we come up with other dance moves besides twerking? Because in society nowadays, this isn't something that a lot of people find funny. Yes, this is something we do a lot at home, and it's partly my fault. But here here here at church, let's just let's just not twerk for Jesus. So during this whole adventure called Parenthood, you you start to realize parenting is just asking questions you never thought you'd need answers to. Because somewhere in all of this, between the chaos, between the random sentences, something else is happening. The same things I used to roll my eyes at are now the s are the same things I say. While raising my own kids, just trying to get it right, just like my parents were. And you don't notice it at first until you're sitting there holding your kids while they fall asleep on you. All those phrases don't sound so ridiculous anymore. They sound they sound right. So as we wrap this episode up, I want to leave you with something. If you caught yourself saying something lately and thought, wow, I sound just like my parents, maybe that's not a bad thing. Maybe it means you're showing up. Maybe it means you're trying. Maybe it even means you're doing better than you think you are. And if your week has looked anything like mine, a little chaotic, a little loud, even a little ridiculous, but full of moments that mattered, hold on to those, because one day those are gonna be the stories that you remember the most. So, before we get out of here, if this episode hit home for you, I'd love to hear from you. What's something you swore you'd never say but you catch yourself saying all the time? Send it to me at mostlymecontact at gmail.com or find the show on Facebook. Just look for mostly me occasionally wise and share it there. And if you're listening on your favorite platform, make sure you're following the show so you don't miss new episodes every Wednesday. And if you know someone who needs a laugh, send this episode their way. And remember, be mostly you, occasionally wise.