Episode 13 - The Power of Self-Motivation

In this episode, we unpack the importance of self-motivation and how it helps children build confidence, persistence, and independence. Parents and carers will discover simple ways to encourage children to stay motivated, overcome setbacks, and take ownership of their goals both at school and in everyday life.

Self-motivation is more than just getting things done — it’s about developing the inner drive to keep learning, improving, and trying again. When children learn to motivate themselves, they are more likely to become resilient, proactive, and confident in facing challenges.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

It always seems impossible until it's done. Welcome to Connecting with Your Kids, a podcast dedicated to helping you cultivate connected relationships with your children or learning life skills.

SPEAKER_00 0:23

Hi, I'm Andy McNeely, a parent, educator, relationship coach, and author. And I'm Ash Morfitt, a proud parent, school teacher, and sports coach. Join us as we explore valuable concepts and share practical strategies that will positively impact both children and the adults in their lives. This is connecting with the kids.

SPEAKER_01 0:47

Welcome back. Here we are. This is it. Podcast number 13, and we're talking about self-motivation. Andy?

SPEAKER_00 0:54

Self-motivation for me, I am fairly self-motivated, but I need structure. Okay, yeah. Like it's for me, it's very linked to commitment. Yes. So, like when we're podcasting, I like to send a text the day before to remind you, and remind me keeps me on the ball. Yes. And I am a list person, so when I'm writing books, I I find it very hard. Writing is very hard. But if I have a list and I say each day I'm going to do ten minutes, one part of the book.

SPEAKER_02 1:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:26

Like, for example, in the book, uh, it's got quotes. Each day I might do a quote from a chapter. And then the next day from the chapter I do ten ideas. Yeah. And the next day I do a story. I interview someone. The next day I write the definition. So in a week I can do a chapter. That's how I motivate myself.

SPEAKER_01 1:47

And that's what I do when I'm writing books. Yeah, so that's how you continue. So you've written three books, which I'm blown away, but that's amazing. But how do you like you've got to be self-motivated? You're not, you don't have someone there saying, standing over you saying, No, you've got to get this done anyway.

SPEAKER_00 2:01

No. My publisher says, gives me a deadline, and then I sort of work backwards. Yeah. But my publisher, Alicia, doesn't say, Oh, where's how you going? She's just let she lets me go. Yeah. She's got heaps of other writers. Yeah. So it's on you. It's on me. To get it done. Yeah. And when I start, when I commit to writing a book, quite often I'm going, why did I do this? Yeah, yeah. This is so stupid. It's a stupid idea. Yeah. But I just sort of keep going, keep going, keep going, a little bit, little bit, little bit. For me, it's those little increments, and it's actually sticking to what I say I'm going to do. And sometimes uh I'll enroll like a coach, like you're my coach. We coached each other, and the simple coach is coaching is I send you a text, say, right, let's commit to meet and podcast. Yep. Yep. And you say yes, so then I'm on. I have to do it. I've committed.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

But then when you pull it back even further, where does that that self-motivation come to start with? Like it's got to be some sort of seed that it begins with. I feel like I'm interviewing you rather than podcasting with you.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

That's all right. That's it's just the chat, isn't it? Yeah. I suppose for me it's the end goal. I've got to think what's the end goal and then work backwards. So the end goal is writing a book. Yep. The end goal is creating a podcast. The big picture of all this is helping other people. Okay, so that's kind of your self-motivation. Yeah, that's that what that's what keeps me going to help people. But if I said I just want to help people, what does that mean? How does that show up? So uh teaching, helping other people, writing books, help workshops, podcasting, it's helping other people. And there's all little bits to it. So when I decide, when I think, oh, this here's something I'd like to do, like a podcast, how do I get going? How do I get someone? How do I get you involved? Yeah, how do I do it? And we had a lot of practices and we stuck to what we said we'd do, and that's what's got the motivation. Yep. So sometimes self-motivation is also being motivated with other people. Yeah, for sure. It might be about maybe this is about motivation as well as self-motivation. Yeah. But self-motivation is really, I suppose, being able to do things on my own, writing a book, I'm writing that on my own. Podcast is different because I'm doing it with you.

SPEAKER_01 4:11

Yep. And if we were to define self-motivation, we talk about having your own goal to aim for, pushing yourself and that inner drive, and you've covered that really nicely with some of those examples you gave in your journey with that.

SPEAKER_00 4:26

It in its simplest form, you've nut you've got it in a nutshell. Yep, yep. What do you notice? As a classroom teacher, being a professional, what do you notice? And what's the evidence showing, the research and evidence showing people who have that self-motivation?

SPEAKER_01 4:43

Yeah, well, we notice it in the classroom, and I notice it, like I coach sports teams, and you've got some kids that are really motivated and self-motivated to try and get to a goal, and others that are there because they just want to hang out with their friends, and that's we've all got different motivators for that. But we notice that those kids with good self-motivation, they're able to get things done independently. There's a real increased responsibility, yeah. That ability to take on things and be responsible for them, more likely to achieve goals. So if they've got a motivator and a and an end goal, they're more likely to achieve it and be able to put in the work to get there. Um, there's a real improved confidence, and often with that, we see better academic outcomes.

SPEAKER_00 5:27

Yeah, that's a good action. Yeah, that's good. There's a lot of a lot of research out there about the benefits of being self-motivated, too. Um so I've got a uh a quote from someone who I think has who's shown a lot of self-motivation in his career. Yeah. Uh Michael Schumacher, uh Formula One legend, and his son as well. He's a Formula One legend as well, it runs through the family, and they just they are well-known Formula One drivers, even for those people who have no interest in it, you'd know the name Michael Schumacher. Yeah. And he said, once something is a passion, the motivation's there. Yeah. So this can be linked, really, a real link from passion to self-motivation. Yeah. But for me, riding's not a passion. Sure. But helping pill is a passion. Yes, okay. So there's that.

SPEAKER_01 6:18

So writing's your conduit to get that. Correct. Yeah. For me, yeah. No worries. Hey, for me, I've I had a career, like 18 years working in healthcare and disability, and then decided, I didn't decide one day, I decided over quite a long time that I wanted to move into teaching, into primary school teaching. Yep. And so that required a lot of self-motivation because I was in a comfortable job, I'd worked my way up in my career, on a comfortable wage, and for me to then flick over to becoming a teacher, where I had to study for a couple of years, and I knew that I had to then go from sort of leading departments and things like that to being a graduate again. There was that's a bit of that's tough. Yeah. And so that needed a lot of self-motivation. Especially when you've got a young family. Absolutely, yeah. So for me, it was like, all right, what what do I want to get out of this? And for me, it was becoming a teacher. I wanted the chance to help and work with kids, the chance to spend more time with my own kids as well, and that was a huge motivator for me in terms of there's more opportunity for holidays and spending holidays with my kids, and just that I'd done a little bit of education and teaching and really liked what was what was there and what I got out of it. So for me, it required so much self-motivation while I was working to be studying, putting the time aside. Um, I took some leave and studied full-time for a while, and so to do all of this, we very cleverly had our second child at that exact same time when it was all happening. Well done. So, yeah, so to get through that needed huge amounts of self-motivation because it would have been the easy thing would have been I'll stick with what I got because I still didn't really enjoy it and was a really fulfilling career with what I had. Um, but yeah, that self-motivation to move through to that end goal you talked about before, having those goals and what you need to do to get there, help me get through. That's great. Great. Um, some ideas. Yeah, yeah. We can we can try a few little different ideas to help practice the skill. Some will work for your family, some will not. And depending on where you are and who the kids are that you work with, you're gonna have to pick and choose and see what might work.

SPEAKER_00 8:46

Absolutely. And the the the apart from learning and experiencing some self-motivation stuff and having a bit of fun, the real, well, not the real, one of the real benefits of doing these things together is actually building the connection. Yes. It's about when we have connected families, when our kids are connected with us, if something, you know, in the future uh has some challenge, they come to you and go, look, something's not right. You want to you want them to actually be in that space, go, mum and dad, my carers will listen to me. They get me. So that's part of it, spending time together. And we're all busy.

SPEAKER_02 9:26

Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_00 9:27

We're all busy. I get it. We're all tired. We're all like thinking, I can't be bothered. So hopefully these ideas are like really quick, five-minute ideas that you can do with very little resources, and you can go, oh, I'll do that. So you might be listening to this podcast and think, you know what? Next couple of days I'm gonna do one of those ideas. Just really simple, fun thing to do together. See what happens. Yep. Find the self-motivation to do it. Yeah, oh like it. Nice segue.

SPEAKER_01 9:51

Do you want to kick us off, Matt? Yep. First little idea we could suggest. Choose a day where everyone wakes up early and goes for a walk together before breakfast. During breakfast, discuss how you felt and what motivated you to get up early.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

Cool. Yeah, a lot of these skills transfer into other areas. Yes. You know? Yeah, absolutely. Next idea. Discuss what motivates you to achieve a goal. What do you do when the going gets tough? What can you do if you feel like giving up?

SPEAKER_01 10:27

I really love this idea. And I love that idea of as an adult, like talking through those challenges with your kids so they can see that same sort of thing.

SPEAKER_00 10:37

Yeah, they can see the the normality that we're normal struggle to. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we make mistakes and find things hard.

SPEAKER_01 10:43

Yep. Um, our third idea plan seven different things we'll do together as a family for the week. Record them and make sure that you do everything you say you will do together.

SPEAKER_00 10:55

Ooh. Bit of commitment weaved in there. Number four, discuss what motivates you to achieve a goal. No, I've already talked about that. Let's not do that again. Uh, the next idea. You want to read us the next idea, Ash? I would.

SPEAKER_01 11:10

Our final idea. If you could have anything in your life, what would that be? Do you think this dream is possible? If so, how could you achieve it? Or if the dream's impossible, discuss it. Talk about it with your family. Cool. I wonder what an impossible dream is.

SPEAKER_00 11:33

You know, I've got an I've got a friend who's um uh a when he was a kid, his dad gave him no, his grandfather gave him his drum kit and he loved it. And he played rock around the clock. He told me a story. It's in the story's in the book. He played rock around the clock and he just got into it and he dreamed of playing on the big stage. And to cut a long story short, he's our now actually the drummer in one of Australia's best known rock bands. Oh really? Yeah, and he he talks about that, you know, like think about your dream, make your dream big. And there were many times when he maybe not, maybe couldn't have made his dream, but he just had that self-motivation, that dream. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:18

And it happened. Nice. Well, there's a quote that I'm gonna finish with, which just dovetails so nicely into this discussion. It's uh quote from Nelson Mandela, who was well one of my heroes, political leader, um, anti-apartheid revolutionary in South Africa. And Nelson Mandela would say, It always seems impossible until it's done. What a great way to finish. Love it. It's been nice. Andy, you're having a chat about self-motivation. We've both got lots of self-motivation with what we do and how we do it. Yeah. I'd like to think that we can then help model that to the little people that we work with, or big people that we work with.

SPEAKER_00 12:59

Yes. Hey, thanks very much. Enjoy connecting with your kids, everyone. Have a lot of fun, and we'll speak to you another time. Talk to you then.

SPEAKER_01 13:19

Thanks for listening to Connecting with the Kids with Annie McNeely and Ash Morfitt.

SPEAKER_00 13:23

The ideas in this podcast are inspired by three books I've written Connecting with Your Kids, Connecting with Your Teens, and Connecting with Your Students. For more information, see the podcast.