Episode 14 - The Power of Problem Solving

In this episode, we explore how problem-solving helps children navigate challenges, think creatively, and build confidence in everyday situations. Parents and carers will learn practical ways to support children in working through difficulties, making decisions, and developing resilience when things don’t go to plan.

Problem-solving is more than just finding the right answer — it’s about teaching children to stay calm, think through options, and learn from mistakes. When children develop strong problem-solving skills, they become more independent, adaptable, and confident in tackling new challenges.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

The best way to escape from a problem is to solve it. Welcome to Connecting with Your Kids, a podcast dedicated to helping you cultivate connected relationships with your children while learning life skills.

SPEAKER_01 0:25

Hi, I'm Andy McNeely, a parent, educator, relationship coach, and author.

SPEAKER_00 0:31

And I'm Ash Morfitt, a proud parent, school teacher, and sports coach.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

Join us as we explore valuable concepts and share practical strategies that will positively impact both children and the adults in their lives. This is Connecting with Your Kids. Hello and welcome back to Connecting with Your Kids. That's good. Thank you very much. I haven't been practicing it. That's good, hey. We're talking problem solving today. Yeah, and this is one of my favorites. I love problem solving. A lot of people think problem solving for me is like, oh, we've got a mathematics problem, we've got to solve it. Yeah, yeah. It's that's one one small part of it. But problem solving is more than that. It's really, it's really about understanding what's wrong, what's missing. Yeah. You know, coming up with different solutions, choosing and choosing the best option and taking some action to solve it. That's really what it is. And you ask yourself, you know, really, did this work? Yes. And if it didn't, have another go. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:27

What do you do and how do you deal with it? Yeah, exactly. And it's got some really nice links with all these other bits and goal setting and resilience and all those bits and pieces.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

Totally. And and a lot of the topics we talk about, they're so intertwined and linked. Yes. So you hear some stuff about problem solving, but there'll be way more skills in this podcast and more in each podcast. Yep. Even though there is a focus on one thing each week, it's there's way more to it. Absolutely. And the most important thing connect with your kids. It is. It actually is. And that the name of the podcast is connecting with your kids. And that's sort of the theme of all my books. But it really is building those relationships. We want our kids to be in, you want to be in a relationship with your kids when something, if something goes wrong, like oh, look, whoever my mum, dad, carer, whoever it is, grandparent, look, something's not right, but I've got a good relationship with you, I trust you, and you'll listen to me. Can you help me? Yep. And apart from that, it's great to be, you know, having fun together. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

Spending time, quality time, yes, and doing fun stuff together. Yes, we all want that. Yeah. So looking at problem solving, there's this really nice quote from Brendan Francis, who's a writer and speaker, talks a lot about personal development and motivation. Yeah. And says the best way to escape from a problem is to solve it. I love that.

SPEAKER_01 2:48

Get out there, make it happen. I love it. And you know, getting into problem sol problems, which we sometimes, I don't want to, I don't want to, but it the more you do it, the better you get at it. Yeah. And then all of a sudden, you know, that might have seemed like a problem a while ago, and now it's just a challenge.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Sometimes the problem can be something that's been from your own actions. Or it can be something that's just happened and you're in the midst. Yes. And then it's like, what do I do?

SPEAKER_01 3:15

Yeah, yes. It's life, huh? Mm-hmm. Yeah. What do you notice in the classroom, Ash? You know, that that kids who have this ability to be able to solve problems and just jump in, what do you notice?

SPEAKER_00 3:26

So we notice that kids that have these skills can handle challenges more calmly, they're more confident, and there's generally a lower stress levels for kids that can problem solve. There's improved decision making, can learn from the mistakes, and we also see linkages with like that strengthening of creativity as well. You can solve those problems and not get stuck in a rut with those kind of issues that might present themselves.

SPEAKER_01 3:51

For sure. And there's a lot of research uh around the ability for these for our younger kids and for adults as well to solve problems. How many other skills that helps them with you know with resilience and be able to just tackle problems and go, I've got this. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:07

I had yesterday, so very recent in my world, uh at school teaching, and I got to model some problem solving through just something that happened. Like the TV in my classroom just wouldn't connect to the internet, which is a first world problem. I know that. But you know, had all these things planned perfectly for my day and couldn't do it. So tried to fix it myself, couldn't do it. Did the old restart, turn it on and off again. Very good. Uh didn't work. I tried to call in support from the IT guy, it wasn't available. So I had to then sort of be flexible and model, all right, what do I do to solve the problems? I can you know do all these things in a different way and a different method. But what was good for the the kids that I was with was that they didn't see me break down and think, throw my hands in the air and think, oh, I can't do it. It's not gonna work. It's like, all right, we've got a problem, let's find a solution, let's find another way around and get there, and then you know, we'll try and get there to the end. So it's you know, it's those things that we've you know, learning from those. Are we learning from mistakes? I don't know. Hopefully we're learning how to control a situation when it doesn't go right.

SPEAKER_01 5:23

And what I noticed about what you said is you're really modelling when you're stuck, you're actually remaining calm. Yeah. Which sometimes we can get into that panic. But you know, you just go calm and go, oh look, it doesn't work. And we do this as as teachers, just go, look, it's not working. Right, throw the lesson out, we'll start again. Or do something different. Yeah. Or go for a game. Whatever. It's just like it's not working. Sometimes it's just what happens.

SPEAKER_00 5:44

Yep. And that can happen when you're coaching a sports team, that can happen when you're with your own kids at home after school or on the weekend, and you've had these perfect plans to you know, do one of these amazing ideas from your book, go for a bike ride or something, and then the weather turns awful. So then how do you model problem solving around that? How do you change and pivot and think, all right, that's not gonna work, let's do something different.

SPEAKER_01 6:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:10

It's not a crisis, it's just a problem.

SPEAKER_01 6:12

Yeah, that's right. Solve it. Yeah. You know something you you reminded me talking about your um your issue you had with the the tech. It reminds me about for me, uh kids often come up to me in the classroom and say, Andy, I uh I don't know how to I don't know how to to do this, I don't do that. And quite often my response is, well, what do you think you could try first? So putting it back on them. Yeah, yeah. So by saying that, you're actually giving the kids the belief that you can do it. Quite often as adults, I find that we jump in and go, Oh, I'll fix it for you. Yes. And we're not helping the kids by fixing it. I mean, they might have the problem solved, but we're not giving them the skill, the life skill that they can actually take that into the future and go, oh, I can solve this, I can do that. As soon as we go, oh, you poor thing, you can't solve this. Oh, I've got a friendship issue, oh you poor thing, whoa, just so sad. Rather than, oh, you've got a friendship issue, what do you think you could try first? And what if that doesn't work? Yep. And what else could you try? Give it a go, come back, and let me know how you went.

SPEAKER_00 7:16

Yep. And you can sort of feed ideas and help, I suppose, direct the where that's going. Yes. But you're not giving the answer.

SPEAKER_01 7:23

No. And if they muck it up, that's okay. It's a lot of learning in that. Yep, yep. Hmm.

SPEAKER_00 7:29

We don't always get it right the first time. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And we often talk about it from a you know school perspective because we work in schools. Yes. But this is the same thing at home with your own kids.

SPEAKER_01 7:39

Absolutely. And when I when I coach parents uh with this, I do online coaching, and I do that quite often, is rather than say to parents, you should do this, you should do that, we talk about different ideas, I suggest some things, and then I sort of go, Well, what do you think's right for you? What's worked in the past? Yeah. What do you think, you know, what you've what have you learned that you could take into this into the future with this problem? Yep. So it's a really great way to work with parents to for them to go, yeah, I have got this. Yes. I've got this. And I was talking to, I was coaching someone recently, and she was just doubting her parenting skills. And when we delved a bit deeper, it was like, actually, you're doing a fantastic job. And when she could hear that, that what she was doing already was really good, she was like, Oh, I am pretty good. And she had that confidence to go, I'm gonna keep going in that direction she wanted to go. She already was going there, yeah. She did a great job. Yeah, very interesting.

SPEAKER_00 8:38

Yeah, nice. Hey, as part of this, we always give some ideas to help practice the skills, and we're talking about problem solving. So, five of these ideas which we can give you to try and see if it might work for you and your family. Some will, some won't, some will be an absolute disaster. Yeah, maybe the disasters can be a really good way to get it wrong, model how you solve the problem to try something different.

SPEAKER_01 9:01

And it doesn't really matter, it doesn't matter. You know, the ideas we give you aren't the panacea to all problems. It's like just have a go, have fun, yeah. Whatever. Yeah, you know, and and hopefully, you know, you might be listening to this podcast and go, hey, one of those ideas, I'm just gonna do it today. That's so simple. That's the idea of the podcast. Don't worry about making massive plans and doing all this stuff, just do something, make a start.

SPEAKER_00 9:24

Yep. I know I've had some feedback from a former colleague and said exactly that same thing. So I'm gonna listen to this podcast when I go for a walk with the dog, a bit of me time, and I'm gonna try and get one thing, just one thing to try with my family for the week. Perfect. That's what we encourage.

SPEAKER_01 9:39

So lovely. This is not save the world, this is just do one thing. Yeah, that's it.

SPEAKER_00 9:43

Yep. You're gonna kick us off? Yep. So, first idea play celebrity heads or guess who together as a family.

SPEAKER_01 9:49

That's great. Do you know guess who? Yeah, I love it. You know, uh you think about a person and go, is it a male? No. Uh do we know them? No. Are they famous? Yes, like that. It's great fun. Good fun. Yeah. Uh second one, imagine being sent to a deserted island with no electricity. What would be five things you would take with you? Talk about some things you would do to survive.

SPEAKER_00 10:12

Yeah, nice.

SPEAKER_01 10:14

That'd be fun. Yeah. Um, fun talking about or being on the desert island? I'm in the desert island.

SPEAKER_00 10:19

Um, yes. Yeah, okay, good one. Last response. Um, third idea: build a tower using either spaghetti or marshmallows or newspaper or sticky tape. How tall can you make it? Maybe you could try a bridge with the same materials and how far could your bridge span? Great. Nice.

SPEAKER_01 10:37

And when you're finished, yeah. When you're finished, you could eat your marshmallows in the spaghetti. Yes. Oh, yeah, you could. That's a possibility. That's not my recommendation. No, mine either, but someone will love it. Oh, another idea. Work out what you're gonna have for dinner tonight without going shopping. You can only use what you have at home.

unknown 10:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:56

That's actually that's a regular problem-solving issue for us. We always get busy and someone goes, Who's cooking? Oh, we didn't work it out. Yes. Open the cupboard, and hopefully there's something there. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 11:06

Yes, faster again. Um, our final idea set a problem for someone else in the family to solve. Test out your problem and see what happens. Cool. Very good. Hopefully you can't solve it and then you've got to try again.

SPEAKER_01 11:21

Oh, that'd be a problem. Yeah, it'd be a problem if you couldn't even set a problem. Would what would you do? Hey, we've got something to finish off. Uh, a quote from Thomas Harris. Thomas Harris is a crime, uh it's real fictional, he writes crime and fictional novels. And he actually wrote Silence of the Lambs, and he was the one who created Hannibal Lecter. So I'm don't recommend you watch that with your kids. No, no, but uh very interesting. I'm sure a lot of you would have watched that. One of those freaky sort of um movies, those ones. Incredible, amazing, amazing series of movies. Yeah, and after you've time after you've spent a bit of time with your family and you've connected with your kids, you might want to have a bit of Kianti. You remember that one? Yeah, there you go. Some will remember that. Father beans. There you go. That's it, too. All right, I better get on with a quote, hey. Uh, problem solving is hunting. It's savage pleasure, and we are born to do it.

SPEAKER_00 12:14

Typically, so hunting and savage, that's that seems a lammy.

SPEAKER_01 12:19

It is pretty pretty aligned with that, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 12:21

Yeah. Thanks very much. It's been lovely chatting about problem solving today, Andy. Thanks for the chat. Always lovers.

SPEAKER_01 12:27

Yeah, it's great, Ash. Look, thanks very much, everyone. Um, we will speak to you next time. Enjoy.

SPEAKER_00 12:43

Thanks for listening to Connecting with Your Kids with Annie McNeely and Ash Morfitt.

SPEAKER_01 12:48

The ideas in this podcast are inspired by three books I've written Connecting with Your Kids, Connecting with Your Teens, and Connecting with Your Students. For more information, see the podcast.