Episode 15 - The Power of Decision Making

In this episode, we explore how decision-making helps children build confidence, responsibility, and independence in everyday life. Parents and carers will discover practical ways to guide children in making thoughtful choices, considering consequences, and learning from their experiences.

Decision-making is more than simply choosing between options — it’s about helping children develop judgment, confidence, and the ability to think things through. When children learn to make positive decisions, they become more resilient, responsible, and prepared to navigate challenges both at school and beyond.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions.

SPEAKER_00 0:18

Welcome to Connecting with Your Kids, a podcast dedicated to helping you cultivate connected relationships with your children while learning life skills.

SPEAKER_01 0:26

Hi, I'm Andy McNeely, a parent, educator, relationship coach, and author.

SPEAKER_00 0:33

And I'm Ash Morfitt, a proud parent, school teacher, and sports coach.

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Join us as we explore valuable concepts and share practical strategies that will positively impact both children and the adults in their lives. This is Connecting with Your Kids.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Hi team, welcome Connecting with Your Kids episode 14. Andy, here we are. No, 15. I made it. Oh well, I got it wrong. Yeah, that's alright. All right. We always do that. 15. Episode 15. 15 already. It's good enough. We haven't done it, we've done 14. Oh, that's true. We're doing 15. In 10 minutes, we've done 15. That's true. We're talking decision making today. We are.

SPEAKER_01 1:12

Yeah, it's uh it's a good one for kids, for all of us, actually. Yeah. Um, and really decision making is just pretty simple. Just it's really just looking at your choices and deciding which one.

SPEAKER_00 1:23

Yeah, and simply choosing. That's it. And you can see I know some people get paralyzed by choice sometimes, and that decision making can be tough. For some, it's like if you've got too many choices, yeah, it's hard to do.

SPEAKER_01 1:35

Yeah, and I find when I work with kids, you know, if they've if you give them four or five things, it's really hard. So I say, you can choose this or this. Yeah, yeah. And even I know with my younger kids, if they didn't want to do something, it's like, well, you can do you can empty the dishwasher now or you can do it in ten minutes. Yes. There's no choice of not doing it, it's now or ten minutes. Uh, you know, you so the message behind it is you're emptying the dishwasher. Yeah. And the choice is now or ten minutes. Yes, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:08

Okay, so you're controlling, yeah. Control the choices a little bit. Yeah, because it's so important to get the dishwasher emptied. No, it is, because you've got to just restock it and do it again.

SPEAKER_01 2:15

Oh, I know. Yeah, it is, it is. Hey, I've got a got a quote from Mark Twain, but a lot of you would know Mark Twain, who wrote Tuckle, Berry, Finn, and Tom Sawyer. And he wrote he said, good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions.

SPEAKER_00 2:32

Oh, yeah, from bad. Yes. I like that. Making some mistakes, making some bad choices. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01 2:39

You might make decisions the wrong one. Too bad. We learn from it, or we don't.

SPEAKER_00 2:44

Yeah. So really nice linkages with being resilient when you make the you know, if things go wrong for you and you make the poor choice or make a mistake, yeah. You know, we do that. And we're so we notice kids that have got those skills and decision making, or adults as well. Yeah. Anyone that can make decisions, they generally make better choices. So can make a decision that's well thought out. They save time when deciding. Yeah. Again, that choice paralysis we wanted to talk about. Can reduce stress and confusion, build self-confidence. Um, problem solving becomes easier, the better you are at making a decision. And you can think more clearly when under pressure. And often when you're under pressure, it's those times when you've got to make those big calls. And so, are you gonna get stuck in that that wheel that's going around and around and around, or can you get in there and say, no, this is my decision, I'm gonna stand by it. I've got reasons for it, I've thought it out, ready to go, let's do it.

SPEAKER_01 3:44

And you know, Ash, the sh the ideas we're gonna share later really are quite of them a lot about those things, about you know, saving time and thinking clearly under pressure. We'll talk about those later, but a lot of fun stuff, you know. Yeah. The ideas we give you aren't like, right, today we are going to learn about decision making. It's just doing something, have a bit of fun, yeah. And learning that skill through trial, error, making it up, you know, having a bit of fun. Uh, and you know, you might not learn the skill, but it's a bit of practice and stuff, and you might do it. Sometimes you might choose two or three things to do from the podcast. Yeah, it doesn't really matter.

SPEAKER_00 4:17

So we often tell a story, well, we always tell the story as part of our podcast. And so I had to make a decision on what story to talk about today. And I had a moment where I thought, what am I gonna talk about? What decision-making story am I gonna make a decision about? And you couldn't decide. I eventually decided.

SPEAKER_01 4:36

Eventually. Lucky lucky you you survived under pressure and you, you know, were saving time.

SPEAKER_00 4:42

Yes, indeed. So I was thinking, so I've I'm a teacher, but I haven't always been a teacher, and I made a career change in my late 30s, early 40s, and became a teacher after um a nice, you know, fulfilling career in healthcare and disability. And so for me, that was a like a big change. Lots of commitment to study, um, big change in from a financial point of view, but big also positive changes in lifestyle and enjoyment and work and things like that. So for me, whenever I make a big life decision, you know, I make a like a pros and cons list. That's a constant for me. And I've thought of like thinking back, you know, purchasing a property, same sort of thing. Um I don't know, spending lots of money on a big holiday or things like that. For me, it's like if I'm making a big decision, what are the pros, what are the cons? What are what are the good reasons, what are the reasons against it?

SPEAKER_01 5:44

It's interesting you're talking about that because sometimes we think about decisions as you know, like there's big decisions where you need to sit and make that list and really cogitate what's the best thing. And sometimes there's split-second decisions. Yeah, oh absolutely. Like I I went I went down to Tassie recently to see my dad and also see a really good friend. And we went mountain biking, and I'm just just feel like I'm starting to get confidence in in my mountain biking skills. I've been riding a bike for a long time, but he's a very good mountain biker, and he took me to this track called Medina, it's really great. And I felt like I was really in flow, and he took me down a few black runs, which are the really difficult runs, which is I would never do that. But when you come to like a fork in the road, it was like just make a decision, and we went down some black runs, and I was nervous, but I was just like I just didn't just went. Yeah. And as you're coming down, those black runs, you can't go, hmm, would I take this path, or should I lean on the bike that way, or do I drop the seat? You just gotta be really quick because if you don't, you're gonna come off. Yep. And I didn't come off once, and I I that day I was doing the hardest runs I've ever done, and I didn't come off once. I quite often come off a few times. Yeah, yeah. It was a really great day. Amazing.

SPEAKER_00 7:02

So yeah, so you'd we talk about decision making, it could be big, you know, life-changing decisions, or it can be do I turn left or right here? Yes, yeah, yeah. Yeah, do I choose this or this? Yeah, and having the skills in decision making can help with either.

SPEAKER_01 7:17

Yep. Like going to the ice cream shop, do you want chocolate or vanilla? Yes, yeah. What do you want? Absolutely. Chocolate or vanilla. Oh um it doesn't matter, does it?

SPEAKER_00 7:28

It doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_01 7:29

Honeycombe? Yeah, yeah, no, no, no, that that ice cream chocolate, I haven't got chocolate vanilla.

SPEAKER_00 7:33

Yeah, that's it. Yeah, so yeah, if we can help kids learn those skills about being able to make a decision, then it's as we said before, it's gonna make it a little bit easier. Yep. And often, like there's this speaker, Tony Robbins, who said, It's in your moment of decision that your destiny is shaped. Ooh, that's actually good. Yeah. I wasn't sure about that quote, but I like it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, because what you do now, you know, it ends up what's going to happen in your future.

SPEAKER_01 8:05

Yeah. And that that reminds you of sliding doors. Yeah, that sliding doors moment. Have you seen that movie sliding doors? Ages ago. Yeah, me too. But it the even that comment of sliding doors, like, you know, your life can be changed just by going left or right.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:18

But I don't know. What do you mean changes? What is your life anyway?

SPEAKER_00 8:22

Yes. Who knows? Yep. The path you're on. Yeah. Hey, we talk about some different ideas to practice these skills to help with decision making. We've got five that come from your books. And the idea of these is have a think about what might work for you. Some will be great, some won't be.

SPEAKER_01 8:41

Depends on you, your kids, the time you've got, the connecting with the five ideas, you might want to really think about which one and decide it. Decide it taking a long time. You know, make that right choice. Or you might just say that'll do. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it doesn't matter. Or you might do all. I don't know, whatever.

SPEAKER_00 8:57

Then you practice your decision making by picking one.

SPEAKER_01 9:00

Yes. Or picking them all. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 9:02

Or not deciding and do none. Yep. That's okay. All right. I'm making a decision. I'm going to say the first one. Oh, I was going to say it. You go. Too bad. Watch uh watch a movie together. Yep. At the end, choose which character is your favourite and discuss why.

SPEAKER_01 9:15

Yeah, cool. And it could be your favourite scene. Yeah. Whatever.

SPEAKER_00 9:18

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 9:19

Yeah, that's cool. And again, a really nice way to connect with the kids. Absolutely. Number two, think about some places that you would all like to go on the weekend. Between you all, decide where you'll go.

SPEAKER_00 9:32

Dynamic of group decision making is tough too. Yep. But again, a good skill. Yes. Yep. I like it. Alright. Number three, play a board game in pairs, and each time it's your turn, work out what to do between the two of you. Cool.

SPEAKER_01 9:48

Bit of collaborative work there too. Nice. Four, someone gets to think about two meals they might like to cook for the family during the week. They quickly call out the two meals, and the first person who answers gets to choose the meal. Okay, so you're quick decision making.

SPEAKER_00 10:03

Just get back into it. Yep. Always final one. Each person secretly gets two different items. Take turns to put the first two items on the table. Everyone must choose an item by pointing to it as quick as I can. And discuss why you chose that item.

SPEAKER_01 10:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:23

Doesn't matter, does it? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:24

I choose the spoon over the salt shaker. Yeah. Why?

SPEAKER_00 10:26

Oh, I don't know. Yeah. With silver. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the colour, like the shape. Whatever. Yeah, like the length of it. Yep. It doesn't matter. Nice. Alright, well, that's been great. We've talked about decision making today. What's the different bits and pieces? And um, yeah, podcast number 15.

SPEAKER_01 10:43

Yeah, one thing I think you should all decide to do is share this podcast with other people. Like it, subscribe, and do all those sort of things. Yeah. But really, we if you find it useful, please invite others to um listen. Uh it really helps us if you just if you listen. Because it makes us feel good that we're helping people. Yeah. We want we want to we want to help people. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. And we want to feel good too. That's part of it. Yeah. Yeah. It's not always about that, but anyway, yeah, sometimes it is. Hey, thanks very much, Ash. It's been really good. Good on you, Andy.

SPEAKER_00 11:17

Thank you. We'll talk to you all again very soon. All right. Bye-bye, everyone. Thanks for listening to Connecting with Your Kids with Andy McNeely and Ash Morfitt.

SPEAKER_01 11:36

The ideas in this podcast are inspired by three books I've written Connecting with Your Kids, Connecting with Your Teens, and Connecting with Your Students. For more information, see the podcast.